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COURTNEY THEIM

FINDINGS

PAGE 33

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 41, ISSUE 37.

Jeff Merkley gave one of our reporters a very expensive bracelet . She wore it around for a week straight. 7

The lone surviving member of Portland’s tragic pop-rock outfit Exploding Hearts is playing the band’s songs this weekend. 69

East Portland finally got its reparations, and the package includes one Benson Bubbler. 42

Someone wants to rebrand the Lloyd District as “downtown Portland’s east side.” 79

Portland is losing its only ages-30-and-up bar. 60

Finally, the Polybius urban legend is getting the Hollywood treatment. 85

If a mermaid wants to be human, there are surgical and magical options. Magic often results in the loss of vocal abilities. 61

ON THE COVER:

You have one last chance at locking in a homie discount from a dispensary near your house. 92

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

3-D Best of Portland by Milan Erceg, milanerceg.com.

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Visual Arts Megan Harned Editorial Interns Mackenzie Broderick, Allie Donahue, Claire Holley, Hart Hornor, Emily Volpert, Amy Wolfe CONTRIBUTORS Dave Cantor, Nathan Carson, Rachel Graham Cody, Pete Cottell, Shannon Gormley, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Mark Stock, Anna Walters PRODUCTION Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Julie Showers Special Sections Art Director Kristina Morris Graphic Designers Mitch Lillie, Xel Moore Production Interns Chaylee Brown, Courtney Theim

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INBOX IS LEGISLATOR REALLY PRO-CHOICE?

Thank you for drawing attention to the elected leaders who helped strengthen women’s health in this legislative session, including Rep. Jennifer Williamson (D-Portland), a longtime member of our board of directors, and Sen. Elizabeth Steiner Hayward (D-Portland) [“The Good, Bad and the Awful,” WW, June 24, 2015]. But you’re wrong to describe Rep. Julie Parrish (R-West Linn) as someone who is “prochoice.” She has never sought or earned the endorsement of Planned Parenthood PAC of Oregon or any other pro-choice group. Worse yet, she is one of only two members of the Oregon Legislature who voted against both of the bills that Planned Parenthood Advocates of Oregon introduced this year. One of the bills, which passed with wide bipartisan support, will make Oregon the first state in the nation to require health insurance companies to cover a full year’s supply of birth control at the same time. The other bill will protect patient privacy in insurance communications. When politicians like Parrish repeatedly vote to impose their own views on what should be a private decision between a woman and her doctor, they certainly shouldn’t be identified as “pro-choice” by any definition of the term. Mary Nolan, interim executive director Planned Parenthood Advocates of Oregon Do I consider myself pro-choice? Yes. When a pregnancy is terminated, I hope it is safe, rare and legal. Rape, incest, life of the mother? Yes, I support those reasons to terminate. Sex selection or disability selection as the sole reason? I would lean toward “no.” In Oregon, the law allows for no other medication to be dispensed for 12 months at a time. Not statins, heart meds, or other life-saving, chronic-care meds. The second bill deals with allowing a child who is subscribed to her parents’ insurance to get the

During the recent heat wave, a friend was raving about swamp coolers. I’d never heard of them. All she could tell me was, it’s a box that appears to make your room less hot. How do they work? Do I want one? —Chief Chirpa Back in the day—before Facebook made it possible to embarrass yourself even when drinking alone—I worked at the Clinton Street Theater. It was there I encountered my first evaporative (aka swamp) cooler. I’m sure the Clinton’s current HVAC system is a gleaming paragon of efficiency, but at the time its swamp cooler was a sputtering, Cthulhu-like array of repulsively moist hoses hanging from the backstage ceiling, like tentacles ready to penetrate the unwary. A swamp cooler cools your house using the same principle that you use to cool your body. When water (or sweat) evaporates, the phase 4

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statement of insurance benefits sent somewhere besides the address of the primary insured. So, a 15-year old accesses health care through her family’s insurance plan. She incurs a $1,000 cost. The coPARRISH pay is $200. Under this bill, the statement of benefits could go to an address other than her parents’. The $800 now shows up on the statement her parents receive as part of the aggregated total usage of insurance. Did we protect the child from her parents knowing she had a medical procedure done? No. Do we keep her out of a potentially violent or heated situation when her parents find out? No. Until elected officials are willing to take a stand, not sign campaign pledges, and commit to considering each bill on its individual merits, as long as they fear political retribution from single-issue PACs, we will never be able to deal with important legislation in a fair or balanced manner. Rep. Julie Parrish (R-West Linn)

CLARIFICATIONS & CORRECTIONS

Last week’s End Roll column (“Green and Goal”) incorrectly reported the amount of marijuana given away at the Weed the People event July 3. It was up to 7 grams per attendee. Also, Portland Mercury columnist Josh Taylor disclosed that he owns Oregon’s Cannabis Concierge, which sponsored the event, for the first time in a June 10 posting, though he did not disclose it in subsequent posts. Mercury publisher Rob Thompson says some tickets to the event were still available until June 26. In last week’s “The Boot Bus” article, the price of a day pass on the C-Tran No. 164 bus was incorrect. It costs $7.50. WW regrets the errors. LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for veriﬁcation. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Fax: (503) 243-1115. Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

change from liquid to gas absorbs energy, making the air in the immediate vicinity cooler. Thus, your swamp cooler sucks the hot, dry air from outside through a wet wick, wet fiber pads, or wet, cloth-covered hoses. As this wetness evaporates, it cools your air. It’s like living in a house that can sweat! Water doesn’t evaporate well when the ambient air is already saturated with humidity, which is why swamp coolers may be news to those of us who grew up in the muggy East. In Portland’s dry summers, however, they work fine. They also draw about one-fourth the power of conventional AC units, with no toxic refrigerants. Swamp coolers do humidify your air whether you like it or not. Still, endure a little dampness for the sake of the planet—it’s just the sort of meaningless sacrifice we Portlanders love to congratulate ourselves for. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

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A big Portland law firm wants to know what state legislators have been telling the news media about the spraying of weed killers from the air. Sen. Michael Dembrow (D-Portland) and Rep. Ann Lininger (D-Lake Oswego) unsuccessfully pushed bills this year to restrict aerial spraying. On July 7, attorney Greg Corbin of Stoel Rives filed a public records request for all communications between Dembrow, Lininger and reporters from The Oregonian and Oregon Public Broadcasting, which have reported on spraying’s health dangers. Corbin, whose firm represents timber companies, didn’t return WW’s calls for comment. Arran Robertson, spokesman for the environmental nonprofit Oregon Wild, says the records request looks like a warning shot for lawmakers. “It shows that the industry is willing to drop some money,” Robertson says, “to make sure the status quo is maintained.” What happens when you allow corporate branding in public parks? You get ad wars. A 2½-foot Nike swoosh that the Beaverton apparel giant paid to maintain on an electronic race clock in Duniway Park faces an uncertain future now that Nike competitor Under Armour is moving into the former YMCA building next door. Last week, the city said Under Armour had offered to upgrade Duniway in Southwest as well as Lents Park in Southeast. In exchange, the company gets to display its logo in both parks. Under Armour also asked the city whether the Nike swoosh in Duniway must stay. Nike responded by asking the city for its correspondence with Under Armour. Parks spokesman Mark Ross says a 1996 agreement allowing Nike to display its swoosh at Duniway expired in 2000. The logo remains, Ross says, “because it would take money to replace it.” Nike spokesman Greg Rossiter declined to answer WW’s questions. Read more Murmurs and daily scuttlebutt.

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ERIN MAALA

NEWS

MY AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT I WANTED TO KNOW WHICH INDUSTRIAL CHEMICALS MY FAMILY IS EXPOSED TO EVERY DAY. AM I SORRY THAT I ASKED? BY BETH SLOVIC

bslovic@wweek.com

Like many scary stories, this one begins with a seemingly innocuous gift. Nurses at Legacy Good Samaritan Hospital sent my family home with a small care package—diapers, a tiny yellow comb and a 1-ounce bottle of Johnson’s Baby Shampoo— after I gave birth to my first child in 2013. Weeks later, I clicked on a Facebook link from my sisterin-law and learned that the iconic baby shampoo contained a chemical preservative called quaternium-15, a compound that releases formaldehyde. A carcinogen. Suddenly, the gift from the hospital seemed like a hand grenade. My daughter can’t even sit up! Have I given her cancer? I immediately tossed the bottle in the trash—and then, an hour later, fished it out, unable to part with the small memento of my daughter’s birth. The little bottle stayed in a drawer as I sought out the most natural baby soap I could find at New Seasons. I went back to Johnson & Johnson only after the company released a new version of its baby

shampoo, without quaternium-15. As a journalist, I’m trained to ask questions and think skeptically about the answers I hear. As a mom, however, I deploy skepticism selectively. If someone tells me a product has the potential to seriously harm my child, it’s out—no questions asked. These roles collided recently when a staffer for U.S. Sen. Jeff Merkley (D - Ore.) approached WW with a chance to try out an unusual new tool that promised to answer questions about everyday chemical exposures— and possibly feed my fears. The tool was a wristband designed by researchers at Oregon State University and marketed by a company called MyExposome that is supposed to detect as many as 1,400 industrial chemicals I might come in contact with. I was invited to take part in a weeklong trial, and in the end I’d get a list of those compounds absorbed by my wristband. The offer from Merkley’s office created every reason for journalistic skepticism. Merkley is a co-sponsor of federal legislation to overhaul the study and regulation of industri-

al chemicals in household products. The project—including testing of participants’ bracelets at $2,000 a pop—would be paid for by the Environmental Defense Fund, a lobbying group helping Merkley. Wasn’t this the kind of gimmick a journalist should avoid? The experiment also had obvious limitations: The wristband wouldn’t be tested to show my exposure levels. It also couldn’t trace how I’d been exposed to the chemicals it picked up. And then there was the question of how I’d interpret the results. As Sonya Lunder, an analyst with the Environmental Working Group, told me, “We can’t tell you exactly how much exposure is harmful, how combinations of chemicals might affect your health, or what population groups are most sensitive to these chemicals.” The experiment promised to raise more questions than it answered, and I’d be feeding my own fears while helping a politician promote his agenda. The journalist in me said no. The mom in me jumped at the chance. The silicone wristband arrived by overnight express. I unsealed it from its package and slid it on my wrist. It looked like a Livestrong bracelet in black, but its intent was the opposite. Instead of radiating anti-cancer vibes, it would soak up potential carcinogens and hormone disruptors, reminding wearers of the dread lurking in their homes. Not that I needed any reminders. CONT. on page 8

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NEWS

HEALTH

This is Portland, after all, where moms who fear formula exchange breast milk over the Internet with women they’ve never met. A new mommy friend would bring her baby over for a play date, point to plastic toys in my living room and ask, “Where did you get that?” I knew she wasn’t asking because she wanted to buy the toy for her child. Instead, she wanted to assess the chances my child’s toys contained industrial chemicals that could lower her little boy’s sperm count. While wearing the wristband, I tried not to change anything about my daily routine. That week, I painted my nails with polish I’d gotten for Mother’s Day—a brand that supposedly adhered to high environmental standards. I went to a hair salon and sat in a swivel chair as fumes from dyes wafted around me. And I took a shower every day, using lavender face wash from the organic aisle at Fred Meyer and Aveda shampoo. In other words, I went about my normal business of walking around in a bubble of enlightened consumerism that is, nonetheless, a stew of hidden, potentially harmful synthetic chemicals. After a week, I took the wristband off, sealed it back up and sent it via FedEx to the Environmental Defense Fund. Then I waited. My results arrived about a month later. I was one of 28 participants in this study, and at first blush my results seemed positive. The wristband detected only 11 chemicals; only one or two participants had a lower number, 10. Additionally, the analysis detected no pesticides in my wristband, although the analysis had screened for hundreds of varieties. “Wow,” I thought. “I’m safer than I thought.” A representative from the Environmental Defense Fund quickly popped my bubble, saying the experiment revealed only a snapshot. “It’s one week in a moment in time,” Sarah Vogel, a health director at EDF, told me. “It’s hard to generalize.” Only a more expensive analysis of my blood or urine would probably reveal more potential hazards. As it was, I’d been exposed to two industrial chemicals banned in kids’ toys, several phthalates or plastic softeners shown to disrupt hormones, and a flame retardant that is relatively new and little studied (see sidebar). Where did I come into contact with those? “It’s really hard to know,” says Vogel. “The

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POTIONS ELEVEN From eco-nail polish to pizza boxes, a mom’s worries could ﬁll a grocery-store aisle—or maybe the whole store. Here are the 11 chemicals that showed up in WW’s wristband—more reasons to scrap your cosmetics, move into a benzophenone-free cardboard box, and start writing to your senators and reps in Washington, D.C.

question that we can’t answer with the wristband is, did you come into contact with those through the air or through the direct use of a product?” I scoured labels in my bathroom. That nail polish I got for Mother’s Day? It was supposed to be “green,” meaning it had no formaldehyde or phthalates. But it did have benzophenone, one of the chemicals picked up in my bracelet that’s linked to cancer. I chucked the bottle to the back of my linen closet. I looked for more sources but didn’t find any. Even if I had, I wouldn’t have been safe from worry. You can try to avoid certain synthetic chemicals in your own home, but try avoiding them at work or on the bus. Products with industrial chemicals, such as those sprinkled in carpets and cushions supposedly to keep them from bursting into flames, break down and are in our dust. As the information packet for the experiment explained, “You can’t shop your way out of the problem.” Merkley and I met in his downtown Portland office to talk about the experiment and the legislation he’s pushing, Senate Bill 697. Merkley wanted to know whether wearing the bracelet had made me more aware of my potential exposure to synthetic chemicals. I nodded. Then he told me he thinks about the perfluorinated chemicals in his pizza box every time he bites into a fresh pie. So-called PFASs are added to pizza boxes and other household products such as microwave popcorn bags to help them repel grease and other liquids. In January, more than 200 scientists CONT. on page 10

Benzophenone Some people have one foot in the grave. Others have their whole bodies in benzophenone. It’s in hand soap, shampoo, sunscreen, soy milk, body spray, antiwrinkle cream, radiance lotion and more. The chemical blocks ultraviolet rays, at a cost. It mimics estrogen, a hormone, and has been linked to skin cancer in animals. Benzyl benzoate This compound is used to kills scabies, dust mites and ticks. It’s also a fragrance preservative in perfume, shampoo and body wash. Like benzophenone, it mimics estrogen and has been found to stimulate breast-cell growth. Bis(2-ethylhexyl) phthalate This compound showed up in 82 percent of wristbands in this study. That’s no surprise: It’s in PVC plastic containers, sealant and spray paint. “[Phthalates] are considered the poster child of endocrinedisrupting compounds,” says Sarah Vogel of the Environmental Defense Fund. Butyl benzyl phthalate BBP was recently banned from children’s toys. But it remains just about everywhere else, including in bug spray, furniture and food packaging. BBP’s eﬀects on humans are unclear, but tests on mice have deformed skeletons, delayed puberty and caused leukemia.

Butylated hydroxyanisole BHA, a preservative and carcinogen, shows up in skin creams, foods and lip gloss. It’s been linked with stomach tumors in animals. Di-n-nonyl phthalate. Like the other phthalates, this one is in plastic everywhere, yet its effects on people are poorly understood, and no human hazards with it have been identified. Di-n-octyl phthalate DNOP is used to soften plastics, including medical tubing, plastic containers and adhesives. In high amounts, it kills rats, but little is known about its effects on humans. Galaxolide Many studies have measured the population distribution of galaxolide, a fragrance used in skin moisturizer, deodorant and cleaning products. As for its health effects, it’s known to block estrogen, a hormone, in rainbow trout. Naphthalene Giving up cigarettes was hard enough. Try giving up air. This possible carcinogen shows up in mothballs, petroleum, toilet deodorant blocks—and the wind. Little is known about its effects on humans, but it’s been linked to cancer and reproductive problems in rats. Tonalide Like galaxolide, tonalide is a fake musk smell used in perfumes. It caused genetic damage when tested on zebra mussels, and it’s suspected to alter human hormones. TPP This flame retardant is in nail products like polish and enamel. Similar fire-stopping chemicals are common in electronics, foam and plastics, and often leach into food. They’ve caused kidney tumors and brain lesions in lab rats, but little is known about their effects on people. HART HORNOR.

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HEALTH COURTNEY THEIM

NEWS

THE BRACELET TEST: U.S. Sen. Jeﬀ Merkley (D-Ore.) holds a wristband designed by Oregon State University researchers that absorbs some of the synthetic chemicals its wearer comes into contact with. “The goal of these wristbands is to actually collect what’s happening with people, but also to make us conscious and thoughtful about what’s out there,” Merkley says.

from around the world decried the proliferation of PFASs, which are linked to testicular and kidney cancer as well as a host of other maladies. “There are things we don’t see and think about every day,” Merkley told me. “I now think of it when I peel off the cheese.” There’s no one agency in the United States that regulates synthetic chemicals. The Food and Drug Administration, for example, governs sippy cups and cosmetics, including shampoo. The Consumer Product Safety Commission looks at products such as bath toys, and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency regulates industrial chemicals such as flame retardants in couches, carpets and mattresses. Many synthetic chemicals, though, pop up in products under all three umbrellas. Merkley’s bill would look under just one umbrella—the EPA’s—and it would update a law from 1976, the Toxic Substances Control Act. The 39-year-old law doesn’t do a very good job. Since its passage nearly 40 years ago, the EPA has been able to require study of only about 200 of the 60,000 chemicals in existence in 1976, and it’s regulated or banned only five of those, an EPA official testified in front of Congress in April. Since then, the number of chemicals on the market has grown to 80,000. “The Toxic Substances Control Act does not control toxic substances,” says Dr. Jerome Paulson, a pediatrician in Washington, D.C., who has testified before Congress on behalf of the American Academy of Pediatrics for stronger oversight of industrial chemicals. The EPA can’t require chemical manufacturers to prove their products’ safety. And manufacturers can sell their products before research has concluded. Merkley’s bill would empower EPA to study all chemicals and require the agency to focus on the effects of chemicals on vulnerable populations— toddlers, pregnant women and the elderly. “No matter how careful the individual is, we’re each living in a soup of chemicals,” Merkley says. “You’re exposed through living in our modern society, and that’s why it makes sense for us to tackle these toxic chemicals that are in everyday products.” Perhaps surprisingly, the proposed legislation has the backing of the American Chemistry Council, a trade group that represents chemical companies. The lobbying group says a patchwork of state regulations—as well as misinformation about 10

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

chemicals—has created a need for a better system. “Consumer confidence in the safety of chemicals has declined in recent years,” says Anne Kolton, a spokeswoman. “We need a credible and strong federal regulatory program that states, manufacturers and consumers can trust.” The council supports the bill because it would limit states from establishing their own, more stringent rules. Earlier this month, Oregon lawmakers passed the Toxic Free Kids Act, which would require companies selling children’s products to disclose the presence of chemicals deemed concerning, then phase out the worst kinds. That all sounds good, until you check the fine print and see that certain apparel and sporting goods are exempted. Gov. Kate Brown is expected to sign the bill. Merkley’s federal bill, with its rules on what states can do once it’s passed, could block any Oregon attempt to phase out a chemical once the EPA launches a review. I told Merkley that what the study really did was increase my own paranoia. “It’s appropriate for people to be paranoid,” he said. “It’s reality that they’re exposed to toxic, disease-causing chemicals with every move that they make in life.” Paranoia seeks company. So I turned to another mom who took part in the experiment at Merkley’s behest. Bethany Thomas, a Northeast Portland mom of three who works for an environmental education group, was just as confused as I was. “You assume there are government protections taking care of us,” she says. “Then you find out there’s not, and you’re scared again.” She didn’t make me feel better. So I turned again to Dr. Jerome Paulson, the pediatrician. Surely he’d fielded questions from hundreds of worried moms like me, who swung between concern and complacency. Maybe he could help make sense of my response. Despite his uncertainty about the legislation making its way through Congress—Merkley’s bill could come to a vote this summer—Paulson told me we needed to overhaul federal rules. “Particularly as a parent, you can make yourself crazy,” he told me. “These are not the kinds of decisions that individuals can make on their own.” And yet, that 1-ounce bottle of baby shampoo is never coming out of that drawer.

C H AY L E E B R O W N

EDUCATION

TUITION: IMPOSSIBLE A PROGRAM TO OFFER FREE COMMUNITY COLLEGE DOESN’T HAVE EVERYONE CHEERING. BY C L A I R E H O L L E Y a nd H ART H O RNO R

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Oregon’s high school graduates recently got a huge gift, courtesy of state lawmakers: free college. That’s the pitch to more than 10,000 prospective community college students. The last-minute bill passed by the Legislature on July 3 would make Oregon the second state in the country, following Tennessee, to cover two years of community college tuition. “This is a step in the right direction,” says Ashley Jackson, vice president of the Associated Students of Lane Community College. “We are really excited about what this will inspire the youth in high school to aspire to.” Sen. Mark Hass (D-Beaverton), the measure’s primary sponsor, says the program will help more students get the skills they need for well-paying jobs. “We need to throw a life raft to these kids coming straight out of high school,” Hass says. “This is a great value for Oregon and the best thing we can do.” But here’s who’s not excited: the community colleges themselves.

Andrea Henderson is executive director of the Oregon Community College Association, which lobbies for the state’s 17 two-year schools. Henderson says she appreciates that Hass and other lawmakers are trying to help cut the cost of college for thousands of Oregon students. But she says the program, while enticing, could be making a promise that the state can’t keep. She fears community colleges could face a flood of new students without enough money to keep up with demand. “In the future, that could be a huge concern for us,” Henderson says. “It’s not enough to get these students in the door. We have to help them complete. This program won’t really help them complete.” The program, called the Oregon Promise, encourages low-income students who might think college is out of reach to take full advantage of federal grants, aid and scholarships that already exist. If they do, the state will step in and fill in the tuition gap not covered by federal money. “There is already financial aid for low-income people, but they aren’t showing up,” says Sara Goldrick-Rab, an education professor at the University of Wisconsin, who worked on the bill. “This is dangling a carrot.” To be eligible for free tuition, students must have lived in Oregon for at least 12 months, begin community college within six months of earning a high school diploma

NEWS

or GED, take courses required for college completion, and maintain at least a 2.5 grade-point average. The average annual community college tuition for a full time student is $4,640 a year. The new program, which starts with the 2016-17 school year, will spend $10 million to cover tuition—but it won’t cover textbooks, housing and student fees, which colleges could use to leverage more money from students who think their costs are largely covered. “It’s going to provide access for more students,” says José Padín, a Portland State University sociology professor and president of the American Association of University Professors’ Oregon chapter. “It’s not going to be free community college, and it’s not going to be universal.” Community college officials worry the program will create expectations the colleges themselves can’t fulfill. Today, state and local taxpayers pick up about half the costs of community colleges. “A spike in attendance with just the tuition side of the equation covered—and no corresponding increase in the other half of funding—will stretch capacity and threaten to erode programs,” Greg Hamann, president of Linn Benton Community College, warned in testimony before legislators in May. (Hamann declined to comment for this story.) Others worry that a big increase in students encouraged by the free-tuition promise would not necessarily lead to higher graduation rates. “I think that it’s very clear that colleges need help in serving the students they already enroll,” says Ben Cannon, executive director of the state’s Higher Education Coordinating Commission. Cannon notes the ratios of students to teachers and counselors are already high. “I’ll be on the lookout for increasing enrollment in community colleges without the increasing success of the students,” he says. Hass dismisses the concern, saying community colleges already struggle to get students to graduate. (A recent Audits Division report says the state’s community colleges graduate 24 percent of students, compared to the 30 percent national average.) “Community colleges already don’t have a great record,” Hass says. His tuition bill, he says, is paired with $7 million college preparedness programs to increase graduation rates. Hass concedes Senate Bill 81 only addresses some college-funding needs, but he said the measure is the best deal lawmakers could put together this year. “There is a graveyard right outside the state Senate where perfect bills go to die,” Hass says. “I would have liked to make this 10 times more expensive to include everything that students need to get through community college, but that wasn’t realistic. You do what you can do.” Courtney Wilton has watched Oregon college funding as a Clackamas Community College administrator and Portland Community College board member. He says Hass hasn’t solved the tuition riddle—but he’s helped. “People shouldn’t think that their financial troubles are over,” Wilton says. “But this is not a bad thing. This is 10 million bucks.”

WE SELL DRINKS

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NEWS

cOuRtS

BEAN COUNTING BY AARON MESH

amesh@wweek.com

Prosecutors say Portland real-estate developer and Democratic Party activist Terry Bean is trying to “purchase an escape” from criminal sex-abuse charges by paying off a teenage boy, his alleged victim. Bean hopes to persuade a Lane County judge July 16 to drop the charges against him because his alleged victim doesn’t want to go forward with the case. Bean’s legal move has brought a backlash from prosecutors, who in court documents describe graphic evidence they say shows Bean has a history of having sex with underage boys. The legal fight has surfaced less than a month before Bean is set to stand trial for two counts of third-degree sodomy, a felony, and one count of sexual abuse in the third degree, a misdemeanor, allegedly involving a 15-yearold boy in 2013. Bean, who was charged in November 2014, has pleaded not guilty. Bean disclosed in court records July 2 that he’s reached a settlement with his accuser. Such settlements, called civil compromises, are sometimes used in low-level criminal cases and require a judge’s approval to have charges dismissed. It’s rare for such settlements to win dismissal of felony sex abuse charges, especially involving minors.

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

The document filed July 14 by prosecutors says the settlement Bean has reached with this alleged victim includes a cash payment. The filing doesn’t give an amount. “From the defendant’s point of view, if you can get a dismissal of a charge quickly by paying the complaining party money or doing service or taking a class, then that’s a home run,” says longtime Portland defense attorney Alan Karpinski. “You can expect the district attorney to get in there and pound his shoe on the table.” Bean became a millionaire through realestate deals in Eugene and Portland, and then went on to become a prominent player in state politics. Bean is a co-founder of the Human Rights Campaign, the nation’s largest gay rights organization. He was the largest Oregon fundraiser for President Barack Obama’s two election victories, has visited Obama in the White House and flew with the president on Air Force One. Prosecutors have sought to introduce into Bean’s trial “prior bad acts” that they say show a pattern of abuse. The prosecutors’ July 14 filing describes an inmate at Deer Ridge Correctional Institution in Madras who says Bean paid him $150 for sexual acts in 1992 and 1993,

when he was 18 and worked in Bean’s Lake Oswego real-estate office. The man says when he considered filing a workplace harassment claim, Bean offered to pay him $10,000. In court records filed July 8, prosecutors introduced evidence dating back to 1979. They say Bean, then 30, engaged in sex with a teenager, providing the 16-year-old with alcohol and drugs. The court documents allege Bean and his adult partner at the time both had sex with the teenager. The alleged victim later tried to kill himself after Bean broke off the relationship, court records say. The alleged victim is now a 52-year-old doctor in California who says he stepped forward because he wanted to help make sure Bean did not “keep on abusing young boys.” In court documents, he expressed concern Bean had the money to escape criminal charges with “minimal damage.” Bean’s attorney, Derek Ashton, didn’t respond by WW’s deadlines to questions about the July 14 filing. He called prosecutors’ earlier use of allegations from four decades ago “defamation.” “Since Mr. Bean’s partner died of AIDS 25 years ago, there is no other witness to deny this scurrilous charge, and the prosecutor knows this,” Ashton said in a statement about the prosecutors’ July 8 filing. Ashton said that the other player in the current charges, Bean’s former boyfriend Kiah Lawson, has been attempting to extort Bean for the past two years. According to prosecutors, Bean and Lawson traveled to Eugene for a University of Oregon

bean

PROSECUTORS SAY PORTLAND DEVELOPER TERRY BEAN IS TRYING TO BUY HIS WAY OUT OF SEX-ABUSE CHARGES. Ducks football game against California on Sept. 28, 2013. The night before, according to court records, Bean and Lawson contacted the 15-year-old via Grindr, a gay male hookup app. Bean and Lawson, prosecutors allege, met the minor at a west Eugene 7-Eleven and then drove him in Bean’s Mercedes to the Valley River Inn, where they had sex with him before calling him a cab and giving him $40.

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BRIER R YA N L A

2015

It’s been 30 years since our first Best of Portland issue.

On Sept. 12, 1985, the very first Best of Portland item we ever printed was about a land-use hearings officer named George H. Fleerlage—who is still a Portlander after all these years. We called him the best damn bureaucrat in the city, and we praised him for “playing it straight.” Even then, our mission was clear. “With this issue,” we wrote, “Willamette Week kicks off what we hope will be an annual acknowledgement of the many small parts that, in their own individual way, add up to make a great city.” That is still our goal today. In our 2015 Best of Portland issue, alongside the countless other things we name “the best” throughout the year (page 43), we still aim to pick up the weird and unappreciated odds and ends of Portland city life that might not otherwise make their way into the newspaper: a pair of charming cyber squatters holding the Jeb Bush campaign hostage (page 21), a perfect loaf of bread (page 27),

a way retired carpet that’s way better than the one at the airport (page 34), or a party bus for old dogs (page 17). But this year, we decided we’d also give our readers a say about the many things in this city they love best. And so we asked you to vote for your favorite pizza, band, veterinarian, hiking trails, and skatepark, among hundreds of other categories. Nearly 18,000 of you heartily responded. The winners (and your good taste) are in evidence starting on page 44, with our own editor’s picks humbly appended to some categories. The DNA of our Best of Portland issue remains unchanged—we remain dedicated as ever to finding the best spot to breastfeed on public property (page 31), the best river-top catering service (page 25), and DIY weed sign (page 39). But when it comes to finding amazing things in Portland, there are more than enough to go around.

BEST PEOPLE AND OTHER ANIMALS

BEST BYTES

BEST BITES

BEST SIPS AND PUFFS

BEST SIGHTS

BEST SOUNDS

BEST WORDS AND NUMBERS

BEST FUN AND GAMES

P. 17

P. 33

P. 21

P. 35

P. 25

BESTS OF THE YEAR

P. 39

P. 29

P. 41

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BEST PEOPLE AND OTHER ANIMALS BEST

DOG PARTY BUS The old dogs cruise down Columbia Boulevard in their souped-up ride. It’s Mo and Fred and Muskie and Betty and Barnaby and River and Sable and Brody and his brother Piper and Deohgee and Porter and most of all Dario, who has already shat on the floor twice before the ride even started. The speakers blast tunes. “All romantics meet the same fate someday,” sings Joni Mitchell. “Cynical and drunk and boring someone in some dark cafe.” At the wheel of the electric blue, 20-foot school bus sits Meg Vogt. Each weekday morning, she drives the bus—known variously as The Party Bus, the Magic Bus, the Blue Dog Bus, and the Elmer Graveen, after Vogt’s childhood bus driver in Wisconsin— through the streets of Sullivan’s Gulch, picking up passengers. A seat is $20 per day per dog. Destination: a local no-leash park, where the customers disembark to chase tennis balls. “People either think I bring the party, or they’re like, ‘Man, you’ve got way too many dogs,’” Vogt says. “But look how calm they are!” Indeed, the dozen canines meander through St. Johns’ Chimney Park in a geriatric wolf pack. The English bulldog Muskie cannonballs his frame into mud puddles, Boston terrier Fred rushes ahead to greet new friends, and Piper the Scottie cannot disguise his forbidden passions for his brother. But otherwise these dogs— many of them 11-year Vogt veterans—are too old to party. Vogt, a former massage therapist and E! television editor during the O.J. Simpson trial, bought the bus for $3,500 in 2008, and now has 25 clients. (These include Cheryl Strayed’s labradoodle, Jane Goodall.) City park rangers frown upon such a large-scale dog-walking operation; they now and again threaten fines up to $150 per dog. Vogt is hunting for 2 acres to build a Westernthemed dog run and bar, which she plans to name Rawhide Ranch. But property is expensive these days. On the bus ride home, the dogs pant satisfied, like gamblers returning flush from Spirit Mountain Casino. The walls and ceiling are plastered like a scrapbook: pictures cut from magazines, squibs of poetry, memorial announcements both human and canine. A dog party bus is a gentle defiance

MEG VOGT ON THE PARTY BUS

of time. The old dogs had a great day. They have a great day every day. Vogt looks down at Fred, exhausted in her lap. “Living for the moment, aren’t we Freddy, huh?” she says. “Living in real time.” AARON MESH.

BEST

HUMAN SHOCK ABSORBER On the second floor of the Multnomah County Courthouse is a counter where hope goes to die. Every working day, the county’s least fortunate citizens shuffle forward in a ceaseless stream, presenting paperwork

notifying them of evictions and small claims lawsuits. The paperwork they bring is often dirty, folded and wrinkled to illegibility, sometimes even wet from tears. Greeting them most days with a smile is Rhonda Smith. Smith’s title is court operations specialist, but given the patience and grace with which she works, she could be called Saint Rhonda. “We deal with a lot of people who are confused and often hopeless,” she says. “And a lot of people who are angry.” An ordained minister and lifelong congregant at the Allen Temple CME Methodist Church at Northeast 8th Avenue and Skidmore Street, Smith exudes calmness in a sea of stress. On a busy day at the courthouse, Smith, 55, says 100 people come to the counter responding to summons or simply seeking help to decipher the legalese in which

eviction notices and lawsuits are written. “A lot of them are in bad situations,” Smith says. “People have gotten behind. They are angry that they are being sued or have to sue somebody. They don’t like it that you can’t give them the solution that they want.” Smith says that only twice in 16 years has she had to summon deputies to her post. Once, a man threatened to hit her. Another time, a woman threw a box of tissues at her. She says friends often tell her she’s crazy, but she can’t wait to get to work every day. “I love my job. I love helping people. I love to listen,” Smith says. “If you can leave the courthouse with a little more hope than I came with, then I’ve done my job.” NIGEL JAQUISS. CONT. on page 18

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BEST PEOPLE AND OTHER ANIMALS

COLIN SEARS

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Whenever Colin Sears’ past comes up in conversation, some clarification is typically required. “The first thing somebody will say is, ‘Oh, wow, you were in a band. You must’ve done lots of drugs and had all these groupies,’” Sears says. “It’s like, ‘Actually, the kind of music I played, in our scene, would be more akin to a Mormon lifestyle.’” Today, Sears might be the top business developer in Portland, hitting what the Portland Business Journal called “the business development triple crown.” But to put it in terms his current partners at Business Oregon might understand, he’s also like the Pete Best of post-punk. Sears, 49, spent his adolescence thrashing drum kits in Washington, D.C.—the birthplace of straight edge, the movement committed to extracting sex and drugs from the rock-’n’-roll equation. Though he’s not one of the scene’s household names, Sears’ bands certainly are. Most significant among them is Dag Nasty, whose mix of melody and aggression is often cited as a precursor to emo. He was also, for about four months, an original member of legendary group Fugazi, but left before the band even settled on a name. It might seem a little odd that the state’s business recruitment officer—his job is to persuade companies to expand into Oregon— was in the band that sang, “The government controls you and brother that’s not just a line.” Sears figures he just swapped one under-the-radar niche for another. “I went from a marginal, weird, obscure, not-really-popular music field to a very weird, marginal, obscure career field,” he says. Sears quit Dag Nasty in 1987, enrolling at the University of Massachusetts to study economic

geography. But he hadn’t yet given up on the idea of doing music as a career. During the post-Nirvana era, Sears flirted with mainstream success with another band, the Marshes, signing to the label that would eventually bring the world Creed. When that fell through, he moved to Portland and finally put his degree to use. He spent 12 years with the Portland Development Commission and a year at Greater Portland Inc. before landing at Business Oregon in 2013. But while he might have traded straight edge for the straight life—he lives in Creston-Kenilworth with his girlfriend, three kids and a 19-year-old cat—Sears hasn’t completely sold out. He plays in two bands, Air Knives and Black Theory, and in November he’ll reunite with Dag Nasty for a set at Austin’s Fun Fun Fun Fest. Sure, there are few things less punk than having “.gov” at the end of your email address. But the way Sears sees it, his job is still pretty hardcore. “Most people who are doing business in Oregon have a DIY, ‘I’m gonna do it my way’ attitude,” Sears says. “I’m in Oregon, doing the work I do, because I get it.” MATTHEW SINGER.

BEST

GYM PARROT A parrot isn’t the paragon of physical strength one might imagine a gym selecting for its official mascot. But there’s a reason George Comalli, owner of Hollywood Fitness on Northeast Sandy Boulevard, chose one to represent his: It makes more sense than a pig. “When I bought this gym, it was a dump,” he says. “So I thought, ‘I need a mascot.’ I went and got a potbellied pig. But chasing a pig around the gym was not… BUDDY popular. So I rebooted and got COURTNEY THEIM

BEST

a bird.” Walk into the notably less dumpy facility these days, and chances are you’ll find Buddy, a green quaker parrot, perched on Comalli’s burly shoulder, if he’s not wandering between the equipment or arranging chopsticks in his cage behind the counter. He is the gym’s second feathered staff member. The first, Sonny, was there for 18 years. Buddy has been around for seven. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship. Quakers—also known as monk parakeets—are unusually social, and by hanging out at the gym, Buddy gets the interaction he requires. Hollywood Fitness, meanwhile, gets its most popular member. Says Comalli: “There are members who come just for the bird.” MATTHEW SINGER.

BEST

GREEK TRAGEDY Around the turn of the millennium, the owner of the now-closed Greek Cusina commissioned a local artist to construct a 10-by40-foot steel octopus covered in jaunty, polka-dot lavender fabric. “Spoticus” was then trundled several stories above the Cusina’s entrance and quickly became a beloved downtown fixture before falling prey to the long arms of Johnny Law. Legendarily erected during the dead of night, Spoticus appeared at odds with existing city code: A “balloon” statute disallows any 3-D advertisements hovering over an establishment for more than seven days. Once the bar/restaurant/dance club was effectively shuttered in 2010 after dozens of fire-code violations, the signature statuary was shipped off to top a Southwest Barbur Boulevard barbershop called Brick’s. Who among us, struggling to find our place within an all-toounfamiliar urban environment, cannot understand the pain of a disassembled, purplish cephalopod? I am Spoticus. You are Spoticus. And Kacey Birch, to an unnerving degree, is Spoticus. “I don’t know why the city is so anti-octopus!” she exclaims. The former Greek Cusina DJ and current proprietor of 24-hour coffeehouse Southeast Grind purchased the artifact last October from Brick’s Barber after further trouble with civic zoning pushed the shop to Tigard and left Spoticus for sale on Craigslist. “We have him stored in a warehouse right now,” Birch says. “He’s ready to be reconstructed, and we would be willing to refashion him in any sort of way that the city would approve. I looked into the signage laws, [but] I need some help getting my case together. There’s a team of artists asking when they can rebuild him and get him up on the roof.” General wear and tear over the years necessitates certain repairs, but Birch wants “to keep him as true to his natural form as possible. I don’t think the purple octopus would be the same if he wasn’t purple.” JAY HORTON.

BEST

WARLORD Every gun you ever picked up in Call of Duty was once the property of Portlander Jay Lance. Except, that is, the most modern ones. I cut off at Gulf War II,” he says. But when Activision began developing the realism-intensive video game franchise that would eventually exceed 175 million in sales, the company contacted Lance about borrowing era-appropriate equipment and uniforms for 360 scans. Portland’s finest historical military consultant for film and media was not only weapons master for Call of Duty, he’s been armorer for the National Geographic and History channels, and stuntman and background artist for Hollywood wartime epics (Glory, Gettysburg, Memphis Belle). He has lent relics to most of the TV shows filmed in town (Leverage, Grimm, Portlandia) and overseen 14 departments (“stunt coordinating, special effects, set dressing, prop manufacturing, production design…”) as authenticity curator of locally filmed World War II action series Combat Report. In perhaps the ultimate tribute to his battlefield verisimilitude, Lance helped the U.S. Department of Defense conduct opposing-force field-training exercises for varCONT. on page 20

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ious branches of the military during the Cold War and received an unofficial rank equivalent to first lieutenant. “My dad was in World War II,” he says. “My gramps was in World War I. His brother was in the Spanish-American War. Their grandparents were in the Civil War. It just goes all the way back. We came over to the United States as Hessian mercenaries during the Revolutionary War, and every single generation of my family has served in the military since then.” Raising a child alone at a time when single parents were discouraged from enlisting, Lance wasn’t able to directly join the ancestral trade. But he’s nevertheless devoted his life to the armed forces. “It all started from watching films with a couple friends of mine and finding all these mistakes,” he recalls. “I just found it really insulting. These are 30-, 40-, 50-million-dollar films, but they can’t be bothered to get it right?” His personal cache of memorabilia proved vital for the success of Combat Report. The 2015 commando series on Tuff TV, shot mostly in Warren and McMinnville, maintained remarkable production values despite minimal budgets, though certain items required outside assistance. “It’s just about making the right phone call, making the right deal,” Lance says. “Everything that we had out there was in tiptop shape and fully functional. In the case of the tank, it was in almost the same condition as [when] it rolled off the factory floor. As a hobby, people collect military vehicles, restore them, maintain them, and, in some cases, even take them out and play with them. How often do you get to ride in a tank?” JAY HORTON.

BEST

CANINE ROADSIDE ATTRACTION Dogs love Laurelhurst’s “cookie tree.” More than 20 years ago, long before the advent of the free boxes, mini-libraries and poetry offerings that now dot Southeast Portland yards, Elisa Leverton began hanging dog treats from a tree in the parking strip in front of her Southeast Ankeny Street home, less than a block from the canine mecca of Laurelhurst Park. Leverton says it all started about 25 years ago, when she and her two children wanted to do something nice for others on Easter. So they put dog treats in front of their house. But when Easter was over, Leverton says, the animals, oblivious to the calendar, kept coming. “It sort of morphed into doing it throughout the year because dogs don’t know the difference,” Leverton says. Not only dogs but squirrels kept coming back, leading to an innovation: Today, treat-filled plastic carrots and Easter bunnies hang from strings in the trees. Dog owners open the two-piece containers and reward their canine companions. “People say, ‘We can’t go on a walk without coming by the tree,’” Leverton says. Over the years, appreciative dog owners have left Leverton cookies, flowers, money and even wine beneath the tree, which is a neighborhood gathering spot. The tree has also spurred imitators. “I’ve had people who asked if they could do it at their house and in their countries,” Leverton says. Long after her children grew up, Leverton has continued festooning her tree with dog treats. “We’ve had a lot of fun,” she says. “The tree took on a life of its own.” NIGEL JAQUISS. 20

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R YA N L A B R I E R E

BYTES BEST

CYBER SQUATTERS About 20,000 people a day come to JebBushForPresident.com. They are greeted by CJ Phillips and Charlie Rainwater, a couple with matching beards and a penchant for Harry Potter shirts and rescue dogs, who live deep in the woods outside Banks. CJ and Charlie are not big fans of Jeb Bush. In 2008, after Texas passed an anti-gay bill, the pair wanted to find a positive way to fight what they saw as dehumanizing laws while showing their straight friends— who told them not to worry because the law wouldn’t affect them personally—that this was a big deal. “We wanted to talk to people and let them know this is the reality of what we face every day,” CJ says. Charlie chimes in with his disarming Tennessee accent: “And I’m sorry. But these laws are hate laws, because all they do is try to discriminate against gay people.” So they bought JebBushForPresident.com. The site struck a chord. They ’ve appeared in a video for Kenneth Cole and recently were approached about doing a reality show with them as stars. They insist, however, they’re too boring for TV. “I think they thought we were much more of activists than we are,” Charlie says. CJ and Charlie met almost 20 years ago at fondly remembered gay bar the Dirty Duck, onetime Chinatown home base for the bushy-faced bears of Portland (who’ve since moved on to Lumbertwink and the Eagle). Neither were really looking for a relationship. CJ was still smarting from being kicked out of the Air Force, where he’d been teaching missile ballistic warning systems with top-secret security clearance, after being outed during “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” Charlie had recently realized he was gay, after the death of his first wife and a divorce from his second. Twenty years later, they are still together, working at Intel, hanging out with their five dogs (four of which are rescues) and tending to their garden and chickens. Things have changed for CJ and Charlie. When the Supreme Court handed down the ruling in June that gay marriage was legal in every state, they were surprised by how liberated they felt. “Before, even though we were very out and proud, we’ve always been in a sense conservative when we’re in the public,” Charlie says. “We don’t necessarily hold hands. We don’t show affection because a lot of people get upset about it. We were with some friends after the ruling

CJ PHILLIPS (LEFT) AND CHARLIE RAINWATER

had come down, and it was liberating that sitting in a restaurant I didn’t have a problem putting my arm around him.” “Yeah, it was hilarious,” CJ says. “I was like, ‘Who are you, and what have you done with Charlie?’” LIZZY ACKER.

BEST

FUNNY FACES The first creature you’ll probably encounter at Hive FX studio in Southeast Portland is a friendly, spunky pug named Olive. But this little shop is also home to horrors: men who look like goats, blowfish heads

with spines on every surface and poison beneath, and women with faces that rot in full view into that of a corpse. Tucked away between a bar, an auto body shop and a dispensary, the Hive FX office is the visual effects company behind the grim bestiary of Portland-based fantasy crime drama Grimm—beating out design teams from across the nation for the job. Out of the maybe 50 unique creatures the Hive FX team has animated, executive producer Gretchen Miller says the rottenfaced witch known as the Hexenbiest is her favorite. “The witches have really become our specialty,“ she says. The fun, Miller says, is receiving images of beautiful actors and morphing them into ultra-creepy monsters.

Hive FX’s work on Grimm has led to nationwide and even international recognition. In addition to work for Nike locally, the studio recently finished animation for a Russian film. The new Grimm season has just debuted, but the Hive FX team is currently working on an under-wraps project for National Geographic Channel, as well as an in-house project called Chihuanhas— think Jaws meets Beverly Hills Chihuahua. “We had this quirky idea,” Miller says. “What if a really cute chihuahua somehow merged with a piranha, and you had a chihuanha? Because sometimes our dog could be so evil.” CLAIRE HOLLEY. CONT. on page 22

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V. K A P O O R

BYTES

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BEST

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How can a deaf person know if somebody is knocking on their door? It’s a simple problem, but as with a lot of simple problems, the solution is far from simple. At the Internet of Things Conference in San Francisco in May, Diana Laboy-Rush—a Portlandbased technology evangelist for Aruba Networks— had stumbled across a team of programmers that was trying to solve this very problem for a 30-hour marathon hacking contest. She’d noticed two men sitting together and typing silently. On closer look, she realized they were struggling to communicate. One man was deaf and couldn’t read lips. The other couldn’t read sign language. “‘Gosh, I want to help you,’” she remembers thinking. She took a seat. The solution to the deaf person’s door-knocking problem was elegant: Put a sensor on the door that could detect the sound of knocking, or detect when the door was ajar, and then have that sensor communicate with a light that could change colors— blue for knocking, green for an open door. But to actually build it, the team needed a software coder and an electrical engineer. In a room full of men, Laboy-Rush was about the only person who could do both. Within 30 hours, she had helped the team members make a working prototype of their product, which they called Silent Safety. LaboyRush made a presentation to a panel of judges, and the team won first prize. It wasn’t the only time she had faced a room full of men and prevailed. The daughter of a NASA scientist, Laboy-Rush grew up around astronauts. Raised in Cupertino, Calif., she learned to code on one of the first Apple computers, in sixth grade. By high school, she was a math wiz. Yet guidance counselors discouraged her from pursuing her dream of engineering. “I think a lot of girls get that,” she says. But unlike a lot of girls, she pressed forward. “I still remember the first [engineering] class where I was the only woman,” she says. “I remember asking, ‘Why is it this way?’” Laboy-Rush’s integration into the tech world hasn’t always been easy, but she says she’s outcompeted many of her male peers because she’s

motivated to help people, and she has the people skills to figure out what products customers need. “That’s a skill not a lot of engineers have,” she says. Laboy-Rush has since founded a Portland chapter of Girl Develop It, a nonprofit that teaches women to develop websites and software. She sees a need among women for instruction, and a need in the tech industry for more women. Her proudest accomplishment, she says, will be sending her 18-year-old son to engineering school this fall. But she also has a younger daughter. “She doesn’t know it yet,” Laboy-Rush says, “but she will be an engineer.” HART HORNER.

BEST

VIRTUAL THERAPY Kent Bye is no stranger to grief. After the loss of his father-in-law to suicide, the loss of a child during pregnancy and the loss of his wife, Jen, also to suicide, Bye needed a way to cope. “All relationships end,” he says. “We all die. And things are left unsaid. I wanted to be able to have conversations with them that I wasn’t able to have. And to honor the beautiful relationships I had with them.” Bye, 38, chose virtual reality, a viewer experience that makes you feel like you have an IMAX screen on your face. As a mobile and virtual reality director, Bye realized he could create a powerful emotional immersion project aimed at helping people with grief. “Virtual reality tricks your mind into believing that you’re in another world,” he says. “It’s like The Matrix, but with cellphone technology.” Over 10 days, Bye and four other developers created this virtual reality as a tool for healing. The finished product, an app called Crossover, is a theatrical experience that takes place in a pixilated house with three rooms and an open ceiling, exposing a slightly cloudy starry-night sky. While you maneuver through the house, you listen in on conversations between five characters, four of whom are ghosts representing the loss of lovers, parents and children. If you leave one room, you miss out on the conversation there. The virtual reality experience ends with a grief ritual, where all five characters come together

around a table with a candle so realistic you feel like you could reach out and grab it. The four ghosts let go of their emotional attachments before they cross over to the other side, and the remaining character invites the viewer to speak freely about their grief. The first time he experienced Crossover, Bye says it was surreal. “I had written pet names into the script that I have only been called by my wife,” he says, “When I heard them, it made me feel like it was actually happening at a subconscious level.” “It served as transformative healing for me,” Bye adds. “They say a photo is worth a thousand words, but virtual reality is worth a thousand pictures.” Bye, who lives in Northeast Portland, says he had to put his heart on hold before sharing his work with the public, but eventually he submitted it to a 2015 competition by virtual reality Google maker Oculus. It reached the finals—praised for its multi-threaded narrative, smooth transitions between rooms, and ability to communicate expressions that are hard to relate through technology. But Crossover means more to Bye than an award nomination. “Jen once said that she wished that when she died she could have two things,” he says. “She wanted to know that she loved people well and to know that she had an impact on society. I can feel her smiling, knowing that she’s a part of this.” EMILY VOLPERT.

BEST

TOURIST Most tourists to Portland don’t leave behind anything more interesting than Yelp reviews describing all the lines they stood in. But when Philadelphian Matt Satell visited Portland early this year, he arrived with uncommon equipment: a DJI Phantom 3 drone with a digital camera. He spent an entire weekend documenting our city from a vantage point most Portlanders never get to see—the business end of a low-flying aircraft. Satell started a website called Philly by Air in 2014, dedicated to showcasing aerial photography of his own city. But after his visit here, he added Portland by Air (portlandbyair.com), which he wants to make a warehouse for local drone photography, in addition to his own dramatic images of our city. Many of Satell’s photos concentrate on the river—like the national news copters before a Blazer game that hover over the MAX train like it’s a Mayan temple—but the most interesting picture is taken from above a residential neighborhood at Northeast 15th Avenue and Fremont Street. Far from the SimCity satellite mug shot offered by Google Earth, the drone shot shows Portland as a startlingly beautiful, surprisingly alien landscape of bulbous greenery and A-frame roofs, below clouds that remain threatening in their vastness. “From ground level you have a different perspective,” says Satell, “From above, it just opens a thing up and puts it in better context.” Starting with Alexis de Tocqueville, American history is full of foreigners offering fresh perspectives. But few do what Matt Satell did with Portland by Air: He lets the fresh perspective on Portland be your own. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

BEST

VIDEO VAULT From the busy confluence of Southeast Foster Road and Powell Boulevard, Variety Shop (4932 SE Foster Road, 775-2210) looks like any other

rundown-looking resale shop shilling yesterday’s media. But buried in the store—behind the solid vinyl collection and random DVDs—is basically a museum for movie fans of a certain vintage. In the backroom, thousands upon thousands of old VHS tapes are piled high, not only lining the walls but stacked to the ceiling in the middle of the floor, prompting treasure hunts that represent the only time you’re likely to find Jean-Claude Van Damme, Patrick Swayze and Harold Ramis on top of one another, waiting to be loved. It’s as if somebody robbed every Blockbuster they could in 1997, then held the stash in a backroom and waited for the prices to depreciate. But you can’t really put a price on nostalgia. And, fact is, the Lethal Weapon series just looks better on VHS. Here, you can get all four films for $2. AP KRYZA.

BEST

HAL 9000 If there’s anything techies fear, it’s a “Skynet scenario” where our computers become self-aware and plunge us all into nuclear holocaust. Corey Pressman, an anthropologist and computer scientist at Portland’s Neologic Labs, has a plan. “In every dystopian scenario, the robots don’t know poetry,” he says. “Maybe if Skynet spent its time writing poetry, they wouldn’t get so cranky.” Pressman’s plan: Teach our tech poetry. On his website poetry4robots.com, visitors are met with a series of photographs, and clicking reveals a text box and instructions: “Use this image as a prompt to provide a few lines of poetry.” If you write a poem, the site will read it to inform its interactions with “metadata,” the stuff you put into a search bar to tell a computer to find something. The idea is that, in any language, we consistently return to the same metaphors. If the computer can recognize these patterns, it will become more human. “You could be searching an image database thinking, ‘I want a picture that means sad but hopeful,’” Pressman says. “But now, you’ve also got to think, what the fuck does the robot know about sad but hopeful? Tears, sunshine—you’ll come up with terrible pictures. You’re never going to find what you’re looking for. But if the robot already knows sad but hopeful from all the poems people have written for it, then it’ll show you the most amazing collection of images.” Pressman, a writer and reader of poetry (his early theories behind his website are scrawled in the margins of Mary Ruefle poetry), loves metaphor. He uses it to speak about the state of human interaction with computers. “We’ve been using boxing gloves to do our searching when we have these fingers inside,” he says. “I want databases and algorithms to be more human.” Pressman thinks it’s ridiculous that we communicate with computers only with disconnected key words. “Rather than typing, ‘Portland, restaurants, northeast,’ we should be able to search: ‘I’m on a hot date, and it’s a second date, and I think I’m in love. Where should we eat?’” Pressman exhibits a sincerity almost as vast as his vision. “I want humanities and the arts to inform what computer science is doing,” he says wistfully. But on a smaller scale, he just wants more poetry. “If I can just trick people into writing more poems—that’s a real win!,” he says. “We’ve got almost one thousand poems that didn’t exist before this, and people wrote them just for robots. Not even for anyone else to read. I’m gonna cry.” He wipes away a tear. TED JAMISON.

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FLOATING FOOD CART If you’re hungry on the water in Portland, there’s only one real solution. You have to find the Dood. For years, boaters everywhere have been faced with a crisis. Fitting food in a cooler already filled with Pabst Blue Ribbon is hard, but finding a restaurant with precious dock parking is even harder. E n t e r We e n i e s o n t h e Wa t e r (weeniesonthewater.com), the Columbia and Willamette rivers’ solution to the great floating hunger crisis. Owner and chef Jeff Dood—his real name, although he’ll answer to “El Capitan”—calls Weenies “an icecream-truck concept. Except it’s hot dogs. On water. For boats.” He has one pontoon boat with a three-burner grill, and in the summer the Dood works overtime to pump out his weenies as fast as possible. “When the order is ready, I perform the still-yet-to-be-perfected handoff maneuver,” Dood says. “Taking the money ($6 for a Screemin’ Weenie) and handing over the bag of food in one, quick motion between two boats drifting at different rates in the current, bobbing around wildly, all at arm’s length, without touching or dropping food or money in the river.” Did you like Apollo 13? Well, this is about as close to docking two modules in outer space as you are going to get, and the payload is a tasty, freshly cooked weenie. The boat is hard to miss: It’s a pontoon with a giant sausage spinning on the roof. But it doesn’t have a jingle like an icecream truck or a PA yet. “Maybe one day if I get big enough, I’ll have a weenie jingle,” Dood says. For now, you have to use Twitter or Facebook to find him, and hope he gets his planned GPS-enabled website up in time for the bulk of this year’s floating season. PARKER HALL.

BEST

HOT SAUCE If you like hot food, Portland is a very cold place. It’s the Germans, I think. The weak-tongued kraut bastards who settled this land after it was severed from Mexico had no use for chilies. Their effect on our native cuisine lingers, leaving a local

WEENIES ON THE WATER

cuisine that is simply too mild for those of us who know the culinary delights experienced only after one has loosened and opened the buds of taste with a pepper of appropriate heat. Nikki Guerrero knows my longing, for it is also her own. And in Hot Mama Chile de Arbol Chili Oil she has created a spicy condiment that’s capable of finally bringing peppers to Portland. “I’ve been making it for many years for myself, but I started making it for sale,” she says. “It’s my favorite thing I make. It’s what I eat.” You can’t create a culture of heat just by throwing some hot shit together, of course. With apologies to Secret Aardvark, there’s a lot of good hot sauce in the world. Guerrero’s plot was more ambitious, and involved our native soil. A few years back, she got Morgan’s Landing Farm on Sau-

vie Island to grow the Arbol peppers she needed to make her sauce. “It’s a hot-weather chili, and we weren’t sure we’d be able to do it,” she says. But do it they did. Once they had the peppers, which need to be dried indoors here, unlike in Oaxaca, where chili oil is a regular table condiment like ketchup or yellow mustard. That takes between one and three months. Then she stems the chilies and cooks them in peanut oil with garlic. Finally, she turns off the heat and adds the sesame seeds. “It’s basically as slow toasting in the oil,” she says. “You want that garlic to get golden and roasty.” Between the peanut oil and the sesame seeds, the heat of the chilies is balanced out by deep earthiness and nuttiness. Try it for yourself with a jar from the farmers markets in Kenton, St. Johns, Hollywood, King and Woodstock or the New Seasons in Arbor Lodge, Concordia, Hawthorne, Grant Park, Nyberg Rivers and Progress Ridge. MARTIN CIZMAR.

BEST

FARM-TO-TROLLEY SERVICE A sliver of civility carved within the wilds of East Portland between 92nd and 102nd avenues, Maywood Park has existed as a separate city within Portland since 1967, when the fight over I-205’s design turned neighbor against neighbor. The city has lower taxes, higher property values, negligible crime, and a fiercely curated smalltown atmosphere, but it appears freedom isn’t free: There’s no food. Whereas East County might famously lack variety in its grocery outlets, Maywood Park doesn’t even have a convenience store. Like so many island paradises, it has to rely on imports for its food supply. But if you’ve got nowhere to put a store, why not bring one in on wheels? A retired Texas streetcar named Molly the Trolley now visits the Maywood Park green space at 10 each Saturday morning and sets up shop till noon, selling groceries from Whole Foods. Kevin Atchley, co-owner of Food Network-tested and Oprah-approved local franchise Pine State Biscuits, happened to have some connections with the retail giant, which partnered last year with Portlander Amelia Pape’s My Street Grocery, a service that travels around setting up temporary shop in neighborhoods without access to healthy foods. In November 2014, Atchley and other community members brought the trolley to Maywood Park for a trial visit. It has since become a permanent stop. “It’s kind of a community gathering,” says Maywood Park Mayor Mark Hardie. “When the trolley comes into the neighborhood, a lot of people take advantage and head over there to sit around. They buy their French bread, their fruits, their veggies, have their coffee, and kibitz. It’s pretty nice.” JAY HORTON. CONT. on page 26

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COURTNEY THEIM

BITES

JOHN SHAFFER (LEFT) AND IOWA BOB (BELOW)

BEST

PIG EXPLOSION Midwesterners are a proud people, especially when it comes to their unique comfort foods. So it’s at the risk of pissing off every Indiana transplant to Portland when I say that the best pork tenderloin sandwich in the Pacific Northwest is named Iowa Bob. Hoosiers like to pretend they created that oh-soMidwestern sandwich, which is basically a pork chop pounded flat until it’s the circumference of a small Frisbee, then placed on a comically small bun so that the fried pig pretty much explodes out of the bun. Iowa’s claim is just as strong, but they’re just quieter about it, because that’s the Iowa way. And at the Igpay food cart (4631 N Albina Ave., 970-556-3280) next to Albina Press, Des Moines native John Shaffer and wife Regina Reale make probably the best version this side of the Rockies. The beauty that is the Iowa Bob starts with a tender cut of pig, thrown through a hand-cranked tenderizer that looks like what the Inquisition would have used on Porky. But it’s the breading, a secret spice blend mixed with crushed saltines, that sets it over the edge. Like many Iowan things—the sliced-bread industry, fields of wheat so endless they make you existential, the day the music died—the Iowa Bob pork tenderloin offers both simplicity and excess. It is merely a fried cutlet the size of your face, hit with standard yellow mustard and held between buns that never stood a chance. And it’s perfect. AP KRYZA.

BEST

KETCHUP AND MUSTARD Heinz and French’s can go straight to hell. There are no condiments more deeply American than good old ketchup and mustard, and no place in the country that makes better retail versions than Portland. 26

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The family-run Beaverton Foods Foods—located, strangely enough, in Hillsboro—is already a titan, a favorite of the late chef James Beard that was dubbed by National Mustard Museum curator Barry Levenson as “the New York Yankees of the mustard world.” This is because they are winners, not because they’re evil: At this year’s World-Wide Mustard Competition, their Beaver and Inglehoffer mustards won more medals than anyone else in the country, bringing home three golds and nine medals overall amid the 16 judging categories. They won first prizes with their brand-new Sriracha mustard and wasabi horseradish mustard, sure, but the real classic among the gold-medal winners was the simple Inglehoffer sweet-hot, gussier of every single homemade sandwich of my youth. It is the only sweet-hot that matters, and their Coney Island mustard is possibly the most perfect refrigerator hot-dog topping imaginable. Meanwhile, Camden’s Catsup—available at all Little Big Burgers for $3.75 a bottle, and occasionally at grocery stores—is the ketchup that single-handedly converted me from contempt for the often bland, cloying condiment. Camden’s is pepped up with red chili and garlic, deepened and bittered with onion, and sweetened with cane juice and honey in place of the usual corn syrup oil-slick. It is to regular, shitty, mass-market ketchup what Damian Lillard is to all other current Trail Blazers. I inhale so much Camden’s with the fries at Little Big Burger that there’s no way the restaurant doesn’t lose money on each order. So consider yourself informed. If you make a bad hamburger in Portland from this point forward, you have failed as a person. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

BEST

BREAD The biggest difference between Regular Portland Bread and regular Portland bread? Regular Portland Bread is food. “At some point,” says RPB owner Nick Burger, “bread became something you put food on. With this bread, the bread is the food.” He’s not exaggerating. Burger’s super-dense square loaves, which weigh a pound and occupy roughly the same space as six stacked CD jewel cases, are the best bread I’ve had in this city. Chances are you haven’t had them yet—he moves only a couple hundred loaves a week through New Seasons, local coops and farmers markets, including Hollywood. Maybe you don’t believe me about how good this bread is. Well, let me burnish Burger’s bona fides a bit before sending you out to spend $5 to $6.50 on a loaf. Before striking out on his own, Burger was the man in charge of dough at both Apizza Scholls and Ken’s Artisan Pizza. Yeah, he made the key ingredient for the best pizza in Portland. And then for the other best pizza in Portland. The man knows bread. “I could be another guy making pizza,” he says, “but this was such a unique thing that I wanted to do it.” This is his best project yet. These dark brown loaves are dense, nutty and moist. They have layers of mild sourness— they’re almost beery. And they keep forever. Burger says they’re modeled on the sort of traditional German breads “that last for two years,” though I’d recommend keeping them in your fridge for only about a month. “It ferments for about 12 hours at room temperature, which is a very long fermentation. Any sort of bread you pick up off the shelf ferments for an hour or so,” he says. “That long fermentation does all sorts of magical things. People who don’t like how normal bread makes them feel often [prefer] long-fermented breads like this one because the long fermentation breaks down a lot of the gluten. It helps your digestive system and it makes you feel super-full.” Yup, it does. It really is the best bread. MARTIN CIZMAR.

BEST

LUNCH IN A TIME MACHINE

On a lake that’s no longer a lake, there sits a cafeteria that time forgot. The old Guild’s Lake is now a bunch of Northwest Portland warehouses, but at the Guild’s Lake Inn (3271 NW 29th Ave., 226-0260, guildslakeinn.com), you’d never know it. Owner Bryan McAdams will step out from behind the till and use a laser pointer to show you, in one of the many sepia-toned photos hanging from the walls, the site of the 1905 Lewis and Clark Centennial and American Pacific Exposition and Oriental Fair, on an island in the lake. “The first world fair ever to make a profit,” he says proudly. Guild’s Lake Inn isn’t quite that old—McAdams has had it for 14 years and estimates it’s been around for a little over 30—but it is the kind of cafeteria where Peggy Olson spent her lunch breaks. You stand in line, grab a tray and place an order that will hopefully include some meat-based sandwich and a pasta salad. It’s all about the salad that isn’t really salad here: pasta salad, taco salad, tuna salad, chicken salad, egg salad and, of course, “fancy” egg salad, which comes in sandwich form. The secret about the salads, though, and all the food, is that it’s delicious and cheap. The trays are really just for drinks and transporting a vast array of Beaver mustards back to your wooden table set in a wide dining room filled mainly with white-haired men, because the hot food is always brought to you by one of Guild’s Lake Inn’s friendly employees, or McAdams himself. Guild’s Lake Inn will finally make you understand what people mean when they talk about “the good old days.” LIZZY ACKER.

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COURTNEY THEIM

SIPS AND PUFFS BEST

MYSTERY SHOT

SPARE ROOM

BEST

TEA

Southeast Portland paperboy, Vietnam veteran, natural foods and herbs merchant, running partner, style king, visionary, entrepreneur, risk-taker, raconteur, great boss, philanthropist, son, brother, loving father and grandfather, beloved husband, loyal friend.

These are the ingredients listed on the side of a handsome, dark-gray tin containing Steven Smith Teamaker’s Blend No. 1949. Of course, they’re really bits and pieces of the story of a fabulous local’s life and times in the exotic world of tea. If you’ve had a sip of tea the past few decades, you’ve probably had one of his creations— first Stash, then Tazo, then his eponymous label. Blend No. 1949 (the year of Smith’s

birth) was created as an homage to Smith after his death in March from cancer at age 65. It sold out two months later. Memories of Portland’s singular tea shaman, though, remain with us. As the tin says, Smith is “the most uncommon name in tea.” No. 1949 is a blend of first and second flush Darjeeling—known outside the U.S. as CONT. on page 30

BEST

COURTESY HEIDIE MCCALL

You’re in a crowded, windowless former bowling alley packed with young dive-bar aficionados and older honorary dive-bar citizens. There’s so much going on at Cully’s Spare Room (4830 NE 42nd Ave., 287-5800)—an inebriated woman screeching out what sounds like “Careless Whisper,” a KJ blowing a sax solo, a small man in a sequined hat playing air guitar—that you can’t be burdened with choosing a drink. So let fate do it for you with the Mystery Shot. Give the nice lady $2.50 and roll the dice, literally. She’ll look at the number you roll, then walk to a row of six fifths concealed in paper bags. She’ll pour you a generous shot of what could be anything, but will probably be butter schnapps, amaretto, cheap cinnamon whiskey or some other sugary shit nobody would actively choose to drink—or, worse, some combination thereof. You will laugh and ask what you just put in your mouth. The bartender won’t tell you. But regardless of what unholy concoction you just drank, that warbling massacre of George Michael’s velvet voice is instantly better. Must be fate. AP KRYZA.

BONG FOR LOVERS

THE ORIGINAL WEDDING WATER PIPE

Imagine this soon-to-be-common newlywed conundrum: You and your partner plan to save a slice of wedding cake to eat on your first anniversary—only to get baked, forget why you saved it and eat it a week later. Had you ordered The Original Wedding Water Pipe from Factory West Studio—a two-headed bong customized specially to commemorate your nuptials—then perhaps you’d have an even more appropriate way to celebrate your decision to remain couch-locked and in love for the rest of your lives. “It’s a beautiful thing that will last a while,” says co-creator Heidie McCall. “People can use it on birthdays, their anniversary—it’s a two-chamber event!” Like most great ideas, McCall hatched the idea for the bong with her husband, Doug, while spit-balling concepts in a haze at their studio in Vancouver. With a four-week lead time and a price tag of $350, it’s a whole different beast from a plastic Roor bong you’d grab in a pinch from Mellow Mood. But this is for your wedding. The McCalls have been bringing their pipe dreams to life since 1985 and are known for the Bing, a customizable bong that’s a mere 4 inches high. Heidie McCall is pursuing a collaboration with Tres Shannon and Cat Daddy of Voodoo Doughnut, and has an optimistic outlook on what the normalization of marijuana culture might bring to the commercial prospects of an ambitious pipe maker such as herself. “Paraphernalia is gonna be everywhere in the next few years,” she says. “Shoe stores will have bongs that look like shoes—it’s coming! I’m always thinking about the future. This is gonna happen, I just know it!” PETE COTTELL.

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THANK YOU, BREADHEADS!

EMMA BROWNE

SIPS AND PUFFS

Join us at Portland Farmers Market 8/8 for a 10th Birthday Celebration! DAVESKILLERBREAD.COM

THE DEER LODGE

the Champagne of tea. More important, Darjeeling was Smith’s favorite, as he always felt a strong connection to the small municipality in West Bengal from which it drew its name. He was married there. He knew every producer there on a first-name basis. And now he’s remembered by the product that binds that city’s name with his own. For those interested in sampling Blend No. 1949, stop by his company’s atelier on Northwest Thurman Street and ask for Bungalow. It produces the same light-to-medium-bodied, aromatic, flavorful brew. RICHARD MEEKER.

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SIDE-STREET ROADHOUSE Let’s make this clear: The Deer Lodge is not a bar. It’s not entirely uncommon for newish homeowners to transform an otherwise disused garage with a built-in bar top, a vinyl-based sound system, and muted Mariners games shown on a TV overhead. Three separate taps of craft beer might be a tad extravagant, but the Deer Lodge can’t be the only backyard watering hole selling T-shirts online. Still, Ezra Meredith’s Foster-Powell garage haunt, music venue and recording studio feels like a well-worn dive bar, and wears its heart on its walls, with Kris Kristofferson set lists overlapping vintage beer signs, rumpled Blazers banners chock-a-block with faded Nashville glossies, and the keepsake that inspired the whole thing: a deer head Meredith got as a gift. “A friend of mine killed it with a bow when he was a kid,” he says, “and he gave it to me because his wife didn’t want it in their house. So, we put it out here in the garage and made a bar around it—mostly because we thought it would be funny, but also as perfect conduit to the studio.” The deer is now the lodge’s namesake and logo, wearing the goggles of Seattle street performer Spoonman given to a young Meredith by his mother. The studio has since recorded a who’s who of local Americana luminaries over a dozen years— Star Anna, Fernando, Hook & Anchor, Copper & 30

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Coal—and released albums from Drunken Prayer and Hearts of Oak (along with an all-star George Jones tribute) on its own in-house record label. A performance venue seemed the next logical step, so Meredith had a sizable covered cedar stage constructed across his smallish backyard from the bar and instated a summer concert series with monthly shows from local and touring artists. This year’s lineup includes appearances from Sassparilla, Mike Elias of Denver, and Sarah Gwen. While crowds max out at 50 or 60, parking remains a continual worry. But there’s talk of an eventual bike rack. After all, at this especially Portland honky-tonk, the most precious bit of memorabilia lies propped up on the Deer Lodge stage. “Yeah, that’s Elliott Smith’s bike,” Meredith shrugs. “We’re storing it for him.” JAY HORTON.

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DELICIOUS BRAND BETRAYAL You know the story: Stumptown put Portland coffee on the map, and it did so by carefully sourcing beans and then roasting them lightly enough to preserve subtle flavors that were baked out by Starbucks. Most of the city’s other finer coffee houses do the same. Which, great: light roast coffee makes excellent drip and French press coffee. However, in my personal opinion, which should in no way be construed as an official statement on behalf of Willamette Week, light roasted beans make for terrible espresso drinks. When condensed by steam and pressure, those pleasant fruity notes become acrid and sour. To me, light roast espresso usually tastes like spoiled orange juice. Which is why my favorite espresso drinks in town come from Umbria, which roasts traditional Italian-style beans to pull wee shots of fudgy, nutty, rich espresso. Well, third-wave heroes Stumptown now finally make an Italian roast that’s quite suitable for Italian-style espresso. Sadly, when it comes to making it, you’re going to be on your own. None of the Stump-

town’s company shops carry the beans, and neither does any other coffee shop where you can get a skilled barista working on them. “That’s retail only,” said a very nice barista at the original location on Southeast Division, clearly bending over backward to not be an insufferable coffee snob. “It’s not really what we do, but we have it for grocery stores.” Specifically, they carry it at New Seasons. If you have an espresso maker at home, you’re all set. If not, invest $30 in an Aero Press, grind your dark brown, glistening, almost leathery beans, to between medium and fine and get your water to 200 degrees. Then put in two filters to increase resistance and press as hard as you can. You won’t get true crema, but it’s still the best espresso I’ve had from Stumptown. MARTIN CIZMAR.

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DOWNTOWN HIDEAWAY FOR NEW MOMS Tucked behind the employee-only Coke machine on the first floor of Portland City Hall is a tiny, hidden oasis for working moms. This oasis is, technically speaking, a “lactation room,” i.e., four beige walls, a few chairs and a couple of electrical outlets. It exists so City Hall employees who are new moms have a private place to pump breast milk. But the room is often empty, and guards won’t blink if any old mom stuck downtown for a meeting and toting a Medela Pump in Style backpack asks to use it. A whiteboard in the room attests to the space’s community value. On it, grateful moms, including elementary-school teachers leading field trips downtown or lawyers on break from the nearby Multnomah County Courthouse, scrawl heartfelt thank-you notes to city leaders. BETH SLOVIC.

BEST

BEST PLACE TO PREGAME FOR TIMBERS GAMES

RONITPHOTO.COM

Bring cash to the best place to pregame for a Portland Timbers game. Otherwise, you can’t tip. “Tipping’s against Fred Meyer policy,” says the bartender, rolling his eyes ever so slightly. “So, no need to tip.” You’ll want to tip. Because if you hang out at the little pub tucked by the deli inside the newly remodeled Stadium Fred Meyer on West Burnside Street, you’re going to be filled with the spirit of generosity that comes from beating the system. At nearby bars, poor, dumb bastards suffer a slew of indignities while trying to drink one $5 non-Widmer beer before having to join their bescarfed brethren in taunting injured players from opposing teams with a complete lack of pity. The Fred Bar (my name) has been open since late last year, and it has pretty much everything you want before a soccer match. The bar consists of 12 stools, tucked away by a deli case, with Elvis Costello’s “Radio Radio” playing from a stereo, and a handful of other Timbers fans milling about. Behind the bar are two TVs showing soccer, a handful of beer taps and a long lineup of wine available by the glass. Food-wise, it’s over to the hot deli case, where on my visit pulledpork sliders with coleslaw on pretzel buns were selling for $1.50. Oh, and one other thing—there’s free parking at the store’s lot across the street from Providence Park. Technically, you’re not supposed to stay in that lot long enough for stoppage time, but what are the chances they’re gonna tow you? MARTIN CIZMAR.

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SIGHTS SE 257TH PHOTOS BY COURTNEY THEIM

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BAR ART Albert Einstein looks a little drunk, frankly. Bette Davis is in the corner making eyes. Stan Laurel is happy and skinny, while Oliver Hardy is happy and fat. A very blond Marilyn Monroe laughs into her cleavage. Everybody else looks like a mob enforcer. Despite being one of only two original surviving murals from legendary “characterist” Al Hirschfeld, the massive wall mural at the nearly century-old Sandy Hut (1430 NE Sandy Blvd., 235-7972) used to be dusty and unlit, noticed by few and almost never seen for what it was: a piece of real American history, glorious in its ode to Hollywood schmaltz. It used to be too dim to see anything, frankly, in a dank bar that for years had been home only to alcoholics who loved whiskey and chose darkness even at 9 am. But with Sandy Hut’s new renovation under Club 21’s owners, the sun streams through the windows onto a vision of 1950s Hollywood that now presides triumphant over tattooed patrons eating meatloaf specials. Einstein is drunk because he is happy. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

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RADIOACTIVE BONFIRE Catholic kids apparently don’t mind a little impurity. Every school-year weekend for years, University of Portland students have trespassed onto Triangle Park—the 35-acre, former industrial sludge haven that sits below the university’s priests’ housing—and started a fire. Despite being a cleanup site full of tumor-inducing chemicals and hydrocarbons from the waterfront’s previous incarnation as a power plant, it remained a sandy pocket of the Willamette that was perfect for bonfire parties. Neither Environmental Protection Agency standards nor a steep and gravelly descent have deterred tittering underclassmen from sneaking down there on weekend nights. But as with all Portland things, the biggest threat now is not toxins but redevelopment. In 2011, the university hired Envirocon for “hazardous material remediation,” and wants to pave the party and put in a parking lot. Enjoy this radioactive

THE AL HIRSCHFELD MURAL AT SANDY HUT

gem while you can, and remember the whipped-cream vodka if you want to fit in. ENID SPITZ.

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MOVIE SCREENING The Hollywood Theatre’s original run of 2001: A Space Odyssey was a huge success. Stanley Kubrick’s most ambitious film opened about the same time Bobby Kennedy was assassinated in June 1968, and didn’t complete its run until April 1969. But until last March, no one in Portland got to see the film again. Not really. 2001 is among about 50 American feature films shot on 70 mm, the wide, high-resolution film gauge used for prestige pictures in the ’60s and ’70s. The list of 70 mm films, reserved for top directors because of the format’s exorbitant cost, is short and mostly epic: Lawrence of Arabia, Cleopatra, Patton, and, uh, Doctor Dolittle. Those films were scrunched down to 35 mm for wider distribution, because few theaters had the required projectors to show 70 mm film—before they went digital and got rid of film projectors altogether. But, like superior-sounding vinyl, superior-looking 70 mm has seen a resurgence. Paul Thomas Anderson’s The Master was released in the format in 2012, and Quentin Tarantino’s upcoming The Hateful Eight will be shown exclusively on it for the first couple weeks of its run. So, starting in 2013, Hollywood set about getting its old 1959 Norelco projectors, which originally ran both 35 mm and 70 mm, running again. A nationwide

search was launched to track down every take-up sprocket and aperture mask needed to rebuild them. “We wanted our kickoff screening to be a movie that matched our ambition,” says Dan Halsted, the Hollywood Theatre’s programmer. “We think 2001 is one of the most ambitious movies ever made, so it seemed like a perfect fit.” Indeed it was. The screenings in March sold out weeks in advance. Those of us lucky enough to get a ticket were treated to an awe-inspiring night of cinema. It was the best experience I’ve had in a movie theater. “People were so excited,” Halsted says. “I was cornered by a lot of dedicated cinephiles and Kubrick fanatics who told me stories about seeing 2001 in its original release. One guy pulled me aside and told me, ‘If you want to watch it right, you wait until intermission to drop acid!’” 2001 isn’t coming back for a while. Next up is Hitchcock’s Vertigo (July 17-19, meh) and hopefully The Hateful Eight (Christmas Day, I will happily trample you in the mad rush for tickets). When 2001 does come back, buy fast. And don’t drop anything until intermission. MARTIN CIZMAR.

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MOMMY-BABY KEEPSAKE Mothers claim you always forget the agony of childbearing. New Zealand henna artist Melanie Ooi at Blue Lotus Henna (1218 SE Ash St., 758-8195, bluelotushenna.com) has invented the prettiest way for a woman to always remember her swollen-bel-

lied self: a full-size plaster cast of her bare torso for $380. After an hourlong casting session, Ooi takes a month to decorate the belly with elaborate henna designs (used in Middle Eastern nations to ward off the evil eye), or the mother saves the cast for a later art project with her little one. Ooi is the only belly caster in the Pacific Northwest, possibly in the world, she says, who carefully hand-molds and hand-decorates each cast (kits are available at Target and toysrus.com). Since setting up shop in Portland in 2006, Ooi has embellished hundreds of bellies with henna, but she’s done only 15 molds. “It’s a pretty niche thing,” she says. ENID SPITZ.

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OBELISKS The Stark Street Mile Markers might as well be the monoliths standing watch over the apes and the moon in 2001: A Space Odyssey (see above): imponderable, void of all meaning. The fakey concrete slabs at Maryhill can go to hell: The Stark Street obelisks are Portland’s true, meandering answer to Stonehenge. More than 150 years old, they were placed there by unknown travelers to mark the distance from what was the old Multnomah County Courthouse. The military is arbitrarily blamed for the obelisks’ existence, because the military is always blamed, but there is nothing martial about these 5-foot-tall, roughly pyramidal stones projecting from Portland’s soil. Stone P14 at Southeast 257th Avenue and Stark Street—its designation carved by hand into its face—lists to one side like an old Pisan drunk, while at Lone Fir Cemetery, P2 cowers back into the grave-site wall. Stone P6, at Elmer’s, is fat as if from pancakes, while P7 fell into a landfill before having to be ignobly saved by college students. College students! But a century ago, the obelisks were the only way for wagon travelers to mark the distance they’d traveled along the old Baseline Road that roughly follows the current location of Stark Street. Only nine of the original 15 stones remain. They stand not quite roadside, as beautiful monuments to nothing. MATTHEW KORFHAGE. CONT. on page 34

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SIGHTS BEST

Albatross is a gallery on a black lanyard around the neck of artist Michael Reinsch. Reinsch, who teaches at the Pacific Northwest College of Art, established Albatross in May to explore an alternative mode of exhibiting artists without the high overhead of a traditional gallery space. While it’s also a gallery, Albatross is a work of art in its own right: Wearing the gallery every day, Reinsch’s curatorial art moves into the realm of performance, even as the works he shows remain insistently twodimensional. With monthly programming, artists can create a single work to be exhibited for the duration of the show. But so far artists have been drawn to the ephemerality of exhibiting a single work at a time each day, as inaugural artist T. Nikolai did with Inventory. His series of 31 Perler bead mosaics derived each image from the inventory screens of various video games. For the month of June, Johanna Robinson responded to Albatross’ origins as an identity badge with Identity Weavers, a series of seven consecutive paintings made of vellum silhouettes over reflective mylar painting to bring the viewer’s image into the work. But by adding one new element of imagery each day, the viewer’s reflection ultimately becomes completely obscured. Albatross’ deliberately small scale brings to mind a line from Howards End: “It is the vice of a vulgar mind to be thrilled by bigness, to think that a thousand square miles are a thousand times more wonderful than one square mile, and that a million square miles are almost the same as heaven.” Albatross takes smallness seriously, and the success of an artist exhibiting there lies in their ability to create art so intimately thrilling you don’t notice you’re standing close enough to smell Reinsch’s breath. MEGAN HARNED.

MICHAEL REINSCH, HOLDING HIS ART GALLERY, ALBATROSS

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RETIRED CARPET No, not that one. The first one. From 1883, man. Back when carpets were awesome. By the front door of The Old Church (1422 SW 11th Ave.)—a lovely concert hall and wedding venue that is nostalgic about being a church—visitors can stand reverently before a 3-foot-square framed swatch of carpet, preserved with care in a gilded frame. “Original Carpet 1883,” it says. You hear that, PDX? Original. Our citywide love for that PDX carpet, let’s admit it, has nothing to do with the actual carpet pattern and everything to do with the fact that it was always the first thing we saw when we flew home, a blue-haired stepchild elevated to a symbol of civic pride. Now look at the Old Church original, a Victorian piece of beautiful baroque, floral in faded reds and deep blues, as intricate as any ancient brocade. It is the last gasp of the old republic, and it must have been heartbreaking to tear it out after being ruined by countless feet. Even so, staff members at the Old Church didn’t know why it was framed, declaring it a little before their time. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

BEST

BIG BIRD

BEST

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COURTNEY THEIM

GUN IN A TREE You might think twice about carving your name into a tree trunk if you looked down and saw a gun pointed at your crotch. Most trees don’t have such obvious self-defense mechanisms, but that’s OK, because they have The World Forestry Center in Washington Park. Built to look like an alpine lodge, high on a hill, the museum educates visitors on global forest stewardship. The armed willow is one of the center’s quirkier possessions. Many years ago, someone left a .22-caliber rifle leaning against the willow. The tree grew around it, until today nothing can be seen of the gun except for the butt on one side and a few inches of barrel on the other. As exhibits go, it’s less flashy than the center’s replica Siberian rail car or timberjack harvester. But it’s a much more eloquent testimonial to the forest’s resilience. If a tree can hold a gun, it might just be a matter of time before it figures out how to load one. Developers and loggers beware. ADRIENNE SO.

EMMA BROWNE

MOBILE ART MUSEUM

The backside of Wilhelm’s Portland Memorial (6705 SE 14th Ave.) used to be a huge, blank concrete wall as imposing as the mausoleum inside it, which houses the cremains of more than 75,000 former Portlanders. But as the surrounding Oaks Bottom Wildlife Refuge became a recovery zone for endangered great blue herons, artist Mark Bennett painted a 65-foot heron onto the wall in honor of the wetlands. And there it stood for a decade: a mammoth and lonely wader in the marshes. That is, until 2008, when Mark’s son Shane picked up the brush alongside friend Dan Cohen. The pair spent a year and a half filling the wall with the Oaks Bottom birds the Shane Bennet loved, including an eagle he saw swooping in while he painted. According to Wilhem’s CEO David Schroeder, the 55,000 square foot mural is now the largest hand-painted outdoor mural in the United States. On the back of the place that houses more Portland dead than anywhere else, there is a giant monument to the avian life that is returning. Sadly, it was to be Shane Bennett’s last project. In March 2010, a year after the mural was completed, he died in a snowmobiling accident at age 31. His service was held, appropriately, at Wilhelm’s. “An eagle flew in at the end of the service,” Schroeder says. “It appeared out of nowhere, close enough we could all see its eyes, and flew off. It gives you goose bumps.” MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

WILL CORWIN

BEST

GAME SCORER

BEST

PLACE TO MEET A ROCK STAR If you have been to Revival Drum Shop (2045 SE Ankeny St., 719-6533, revivaldrumshop.com) in the past few years, chances are you were buying sticks next to the drummer from one of your favorite bands. Since Jose Mede-

DJ O.G. ONE

les (the Breeders, Ben Harper, Donavon Frankenreiter) first opened his drum shop in North Portland in 2009, he’s had to upsize it twice, most recently moving to a beautiful, warehouselike space at Southeast 21st and Ankeny. The shop has sold gear to Jack White, Glenn Kotche of Wilco, Josh Klinghoffer of Red Hot Chili Peppers, Les Claypool, Isaac Brock and dozens of others. How cool is Revival in the drum world? When it celebrated its sixth anniversary last year, Jon Theodore of Queens of the Stone Age DJed, declaring via Instagram, “6 years of tite tubs and solid hangs…have a beer, bang stuff, and buy things.” Catering to the needs of professionallevel local and national drummers, Mede-

les has built himself a castle of rhythm filled with only the finest rare and oldschool gear. Oriental rugs on the floor, vintage hardware, beautiful drum sets for sale, and lessons by real touring indie and jazz players, not to mention occasional live shows—there aren’t many places in the world where drummers get to nerd out quite this hard. PARKER HALL.

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RECORD COLLECTION

C O U R T E S Y R E V I VA L

The best-known DJ in Portland got his start in a middle-school gym. Way before he took the Rose Garden/Moda Center decks in 2008 as the Portland Trail Blazers’ first-ever DJ, David “O.G. One” Jackson’s first big gig was a monthly party thrown for high-achieving eighth-graders. One of the attendees was a promoter with a good ear, who booked Jackson into an early’90s Roseland gig opening for Naughty by Nature and Run DMC. From there, Jackson parlayed his talent and ambition to enter the rarefied realm of celeb shindigs—Jay Z after-parties, a Justin Timberlake Super Bowl bash, and events for Rasheed Wallace and Damon Stoudamire. Now, he takes requests from the Portland Trail Blazers. “They’ll throw out suggestions,” says Jackson. “For the most part, Dame [Lillard], Wes [Matthews], LaMarcus [Aldridge]—they like hip-hop. It just really depends on their mood, but if they ask me to play a particular song during warm-ups, nine times out of 10 it’s something not on the charts, underground or on a new mixtape.” Steve Blake, on the other hand, liked Eminem. But Jackson’s real skill is DJing to the flow of the game. “Offensive possessions can switch as soon as someone steals the ball,” says Jackson, “and that means I have to cut off the music. To be able to play spontaneously, to be that quick in the exchange, it’s a totally different experience than any other type of events I’ve DJed.” He loves taking requests from fans— including “Master of Puppets” by Metallica, which pumped up the crowd against Memphis recently. “Once the game is in play, it’s all about the energy of the fans, and I have to react to them,” Jackson says. But there are some requests he can’t conscionably honor, like long slow jams: “I have this one fan who always tweets me about ‘Pony’ by Ginuwine. I think he does it just to crack me up.” JAY HORTON.

When you meet Dirty Dave the Record Slave, it’s hard not to look over your shoulder for the real Dave. With a name like that— the handle he used on-air at classic Portland oldies station KISN, and the only name he’ll divulge to the press—you’d expect an outlandish morning shock jock who drops sound effects into casual conversation. Instead, he’s plainspoken, not all that unkempt and, for someone who’s been doing radio for close to 30 years, deeply private. One thing about his name is accurate, though: He owns a shitload of records. Ninety thousand of them, to be exact. Beginning in the 1970s—around the time he befriended local radio personality Pat Pattee, who christened him “Dirty Dave”

because he worked in his parents’ autowrecking yard—the now-62-year-old Portland native committed to buying every single that entered the Top 40. Then he worked backward. A good chunk of the history of American popular music now sits in his basement, though good luck getting a glimpse of it: He’s not too keen on allowing photographers into his home. You can hear it, though. When KISN relaunched on a lower-power signal in May, his collection— much of it now digitized—became the station’s library. His collecting slowed in the ’90s, as vinyl production decreased, and he stopped altogether once he relented to the download era. For someone who, at the height of his obsession, couldn’t drive past a secondhand store without stopping to rummage around, the physical object doesn’t hold much sentiment for him. He insists he’ll never sell any of it but suspects that, when his son eventually inherits the haul, it’ll wind up on eBay. That doesn’t seem to bother him. “I’ve met people who talk to me about their collection, and they absolutely start shaking. I’m thinking, ‘This is insane,’” he says. “It’s not life or death here. It’s just vinyl.” MATTHEW SINGER. CONT. on page 36

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836 NW 23rd Ave • 310 SE 28th Ave • 1409 NE Alberta St.

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THANK YOU FOR votiNg for uS AS PortlANd’S BESt SuShi ANd BESt PlAcE to EAt SuStAiNABly WE APPrEciAtE your SuPPort!

SEAN FLORA AT THE ROCK N ROLL BNB

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SUMMER CAMP FOR MUSICIANS

The Rock n Roll BnB (Northwest Sauvie Island Road, 971-275-6795, rocknrollbnb.com) definitely has the bells and whistles one would expect from a modern recording studio—a clutch of high-end microphones from Neumann and Sennheiser, preamps by API, and a vintage Hammond organ. Sean Flora, the studio’s owner, has an impressive résumé to boot, with engineering credits for work with the Shins, Stephen Malkmus and Cake to his name. But what makes the Rock n Roll BnB special is the view. Situated on Sauvie Island, Flora’s residential recording operation has been gaining acclaim both regionally and nationally as a go-to getaway for musicians who want to get lost in the Pacific Wonderland and live free of distraction for as long as they’d like. When they come to record, they just stay there, amid tree-lined paths and a patio-top grill. “It was such a great way to work that it always stuck with me,” says Flora, who worked with the legendary White Horse studios in the ’90s, and has more recently put in work at Larry Crane’s Jackpot Studio in Southeast. “You’re working and you’re in the head space and you don’t have to commute or leave. It’s definitely more efficient—people work better this way and get more deeply into it because there aren’t the distractions. It certainly doesn’t hurt that it’s a beautiful place to be.” PETE COTTELL.

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COMPENDIUM OF MUSICAL KNOWLEDGE The elevator pitch for Discogs (discogs.com) is pretty straightforward: a website like IMDb, but for records. “People had talked here and there about how cool it would be to have this database of information,” says Kevin Lewandowski, a programmer and amateur drum-’n’-bass DJ, who created the site in 2000 while working in Hillsboro for Intel. “A 36

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couple people had tried to do it, and it didn’t really take off. I spent about six months toying away at it, and came up with something really simple that worked.” Initially a prime resource for electronic music, Discogs now contains information on over 6 million records, in every genre imaginable. The format remains simple: Users upload information much like Wikipedia, entering the year of release, label and catalog number. In 2005, after noticing a backdoor trading system had developed among users, Lewandowski added a marketplace element. But while it’s been around for 16 years now, the site remains somewhat obscure, at least in America— about 70 percent of its traffic comes from Europe. Lewandowski has finally started a marketing push, throwing record fairs in various parts of the world; the next in Portland is scheduled for August at White Owl Social Club. “You talk to strangers in Europe, and they know about Discogs,” he says. “Talk to strangers here, and not as many people know about it.” MATTHEW SINGER.

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PIED PIPER Say you’re shopping at New Seasons and you hear the distinctive, high-pitched squeals of a toddler. Temper tantrum over Veggie Booty? Possibly. Or the child may have just spotted Ben Thompson in the frozen-food aisle. Better known to young children throughout the city as Mr. Ben, Thompson is to toddlers what Sufjan Stevens is to moody 30-year-olds. It’s not uncommon to see tiny tots with Mr. Ben tees digging in the sand pit at OMSI or running wild at the Oregon Zoo. Six years ago, when the now-39-year-old former district sales manager for Fender Musical Instruments casually started playing kids tunes at Posies Cafe in Kenton, only a handful of local musicians catered to kiddos. Thompson had no clue he was about to become Portland’s toddler troubadour. Now he plays six regular gigs a week, performs at birthday parties and gives private ukulele and guitar lessons—meaning he’s actually

making a living at this. This year, he’s set to perform at Pickathon, and dozens of other musicians have joined him in the “kindie” music scene. “Portland is the kind of place,” Thompson says, “where if you find the thing that you love to do and do it unabashedly, Portland will lift you up and support you.” Mr. Ben fandom even extends to mommies. “Mr. Rogers meets Ben Affleck,” one adoring mother called him. Thompson says he’s flattered by the affection, but it’s the connection with kids through music that keeps him going. “If I had set out to do this, I wouldn’t have been able to,” he says. “But to have been able to have arrived at this place feels magical.” BETH SLOVIC.

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ECHO CHAMBER If you stand in the center of the small amphitheater behind the Starbucks at Pioneer Courthouse Square and read the plaque underneath your feet, something magical happens: Your voice is amplified back to you, like you’re standing at the bottom of a well. Face out to the square, your voice is normal. Spin back to face the bricks, the sound reverberates around you. On the surface, the amphitheater gives no hints to its sonic secondary purpose; instead it’s all about history. The plaque proclaims, “This amphitheater honors two pioneers who worked on or near this block, Harrison J. Gray, a carpenter, 1851 [and] George Neuner, US Attorney, 1925-1933,” and a pictographic timeline in metal plates runs along the rim. But clearly the history lessons are just a ruse to get you into the amphitheater reading funny names out loud (Neuner? Is that pronounced “Nooner”?) so you can hear them booming back at you. LIZZY ACKER.

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TRIBUTE TO A MUSICAL MENTOR

COURTESY THE SKANNER NEWS

Just after Portland’s American Music Program took the stage at this year’s Essentially Ellington Competition at Lincoln Center—the most prestigious high-school jazz competition in the nation—it was met with a standing ovation. Because director Thara Memory called for it. “If you are within earshot of me at this moment,” he declared, “I want you to stand up and give these bands an incredible round of applause.” With that, his band and the audience stood, clapping loudly. Then his students, wearing black evening gowns and white dinner jackets with bow ties, sat down to empty music stands turned sideways to play an intricate 10-minute piece by Duke Ellington called “The Tattooed Bride” from memory. “There’s an emotional commitment to playing ‘Tattooed Bride’ from memory. No professional group does that,” said famed trumpeter and head judge Wynton Marsalis of the performance. “A group of kids stood on that stage and played from memory, for a director. They played with that type of feeling and desire and want. It hit us so deep.” That performance, with soaring solos and perfectly executed large-group interactions, was the best love letter the group could send to their director. Memory has mentored generations of Portland jazz musicians—and won a Grammy with former student Esperanza Spalding—but his health has suffered recently due to complications from diabetes. The performance was dedicated to him. Needless to say, the kids won. PARKER HALL.

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COURTNEY THEIM

WORDS BEST

ROBOT OVERLORD

DANIEL WILSON

BEST

DIY PDX CHIC The defining emblem of this decade’s Portland renaissance—or sellout, if you didn’t reap any bennies—is the light-bulb lettering sign. Twinkling red metal alphabets advertise Olympia Provisions, Ace Hotel, Sizzle Pie and Spirit of 77. Each got its Jazz Age midway glow by hiring local branding firm Official Manufacturing Co., which has made the signs a calling card. Lardo (“Pig Out”), There Be Monsters (a lit-up mustache), and countless other spots have followed suit. Last year, Alex Pavich, owner of pioneering medical marijuana dispensary Collective Awakenings (2823 NE Sandy Blvd.,

206-7090, collectiveawakenings.com), decided he wanted a sign of his own. “I see beer signs,” he declared. “I want a weed sign.” But Pavich did not turn to a branding agency. He hired Ashland metal-and-glass sculptor David Gelfand, who produced a 4-foot-tall, green-powder-coated vertical marquee: “WEED.” Gelfand locally sourced the materials: bulbs from Sunlan Lighting, sockets from Hippo Hardware, metal from Eastside Steel. “That’s my oneand-only lettered sign that I’ve made,” Gelfand says. “I’d never done it, but I just volunteered myself. I like to say yes to lighting projects.” The declaration hangs above Collective Awakenings’ sales counter and bud jars—a room that can be accessed only by patients with a medical marijuana card. Gelfand’s WEED sign is the most sincere kind of advertising: Only those who are already sold can see it. AARON MESH.

BEST

CONSTITUTIONAL SCHOLARS Each year, teams from hundreds of high schools from all over the country compete for a chance to go to Washington, D.C., for the national finals of the We the People: The Citizen and the Constitution program. A year of studying, practicing and competing brings them face-to-face with such questions as: “In what ways, if any, can the Magna Carta be associated with concepts of rule of law and constitutionalism?” This year’s first-place winner was Portland’s own Grant High School. Not only did its 34-member team take home the top prize April 27, it was the second time it had won in the past three years. Since the team’s founding in 2000, Grant has also placed second once and third three times. CONT. on page 40

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

YA S M I N E A B D U L R A H I M Z I

If you want to escape an evil robot trying to kill you, head for uneven ground and always run toward the sun. The lowered contrast from the glare might just glitch out the algorithm that lets the robot detect shifts in the ground, and cause it to fall down or something. I know this, because I have talked to author and Carnegie Mellon-trained roboticist Daniel Wilson. Wilson does not fear the robot apocalypse. Not only did he write the book on how to survive it (How to Survive a Robot Uprising), he wrote the book on how to win it (How to Build a Robot Army). This is not to mention Robopocalypse, Wilson’s tightly plotted, thrillingly intelligent blockbuster novel that was optioned by DreamWorks and Steven Spielberg before the book was even finished. “During the writing of that book,” Wilson says, “I was able to see all of the equipment I was describing while I was writing it. There was literally a room full of guys with beards making art. It was really rad. At Amblin [Entertainment], they really just have a building that’s all guys, and they would do whatever interested them in the pages I sent: ‘This spider thing is really interesting, so let’s do a lot of different versions.’” Seemingly everything that Wilson writes, somebody wants to film. He’s got five active film and TV options, including sci-fi survival story Alpha, which Brad Pitt signed on to produce as a film last November. Meanwhile, Wilson is busy creating an alternate DC Comics universe, Earth 2, in which Superman is black and the Green Lantern is gay. But he feels a little guilty about picking on the robots. “I feel bad, because I’m selling out all the roboticists,” he says, who have to deal with “60 years of bad PR” from science-fiction writers like him. Wilson, 37, doesn’t actually think evil robots are going to happen. “Honestly?” he says. “There’s just no money in it.” Robots might be dangerous, of course—“It’s difficult to control for every type of idiot,” Wilson says—but he looks forward to his robot future, and talks daily to his voice-controlled Amazon Echo. “My relationship with robots is I love them,” he says. “I can’t wait to have an autonomous vehicle. My kids are 5 and 3, I don’t expect them to get driver’s licenses. I don’t think that’s going to be a thing in 10 years.” MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

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In fact, for four years in a row, the winners of the competition have come from Oregon, a distinction held by no other state: In 2012 and 2014, the national winner was Grant’s crosstown rival Lincoln. At Grant, participation comes after a rigorous admissions process, including essays and a review of students’ grade-point averages. Hundreds of sessions follow in which students answer questions before one or more of a dozen volunteer coaches. (Over the years, help has come from such local luminaries as appellate lawyer Jim Westwood, who was on Portland State’s famous 1965 College Bowl team; tax court judge Henry Breithaupt; and state Rep. Jennifer Williamson, D-Portland.) Says lawyer Tim Volpert, who initiated the team in tandem with then-teacher Diane Thielen and still serves as a coach: “When the students get through a year of this, it’s the equivalent of a graduate-school seminar. They find the AP Government test laughable.” Perhaps most significant: “Many become activists at a young age.” That’s what a careful understanding of the Constitution will do for you. RICHARD H. MEEKER.

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There’s nothing quite like the charge of electricity the air gains from smart, self-aware, energized, totally honest high-school students slamming lines on the big stage before an even bigger crowd. Racism. Sexual abuse. The meanings of love. Broken homes. It was all there—raw and clearly articulated—at the 2015 edition of Literary Arts’ Verselandia, an annual poetry slam competition featuring Portland high-school students that was held April 30 this year at the Newmark Theatre. Think of Verselandia as Portland’s most exciting poetry reading. While the 20 participants just killed it, orthometry sure didn’t apply. Rather, the heads, hearts and souls of these young poets jazzed forth for nearly two mostly thrilling hours. Try this on for size, from the second and final slam of Verselandia’s winner, Gwen Frost, of Cleveland High School: “He is a burning house I want to live in, because maybe if you doused the flames with your blood, your flesh, your self, maybe you could put the fire out. Maybe you’ll be enough. Maybe you could save him….” And then it gets even more real and smart. You can watch all of this year’s Verselandia—and catch winners from previous years—on YouTube. RICHARD H. MEEKER.

BEST

EXPERIMENT IN LITERARY SOCIALISM Any writer can attest that writing is a tortuous process full of doubt and self-loathing. But more than that, it’s solitary, which means it’s hard to know whether what you’ve written is any good, and not everyone has the connections (or the money) to find a good editor. The people at The People’s Ink (peoples-ink.com) offer a solution. “I had just gotten out of graduate school, so I thought I’d join a writers group. But it was a closed group, which is how most writers groups are, so it filled up quickly,” explains Rich Pope, one of the original founders of the People’s Ink. “But I enjoyed everyone so much, I thought there must just be an infinite number of people out there who might be interested in this sort of thing. Wouldn’t it be great if there were a larger format to accommodate that?” In February 2012, Pope and a handful of others began meeting as the People’s Ink, a perpetually open and completely free writers group. They advertised for members on Craigslist—and they still do. But what began with eight people soon expanded to a second table, and then a bigger bar, and then an entire venue. Any given Tuesday evening now finds every table at the Analog Cafe occupied by the people of the People’s Ink—with a current average of about 90 active members— thoughtfully organized into smaller groups, such as general fiction, poetry, science fiction and a craftof-writing discussion group. “I tried a couple of other groups, and a lot of them get controlled by personality. But here we have such diversity,” says newcomer Pam Cross. Though the group remains free and open, members must come prepared to contribute, reading the selected writing from their group in advance and ready to offer constructive feedback. “It will always be free,” says Pope. “I think that’s very important for a lot of reasons. Everyone is broke, education is very expensive, and writers don’t typically make a lot of money. There are plenty of opportunities for writers to spend thousands or tens of thousands of dollars furthering their education, and I don’t think that’s always necessary—or there should at least be alternatives to it.” Because sometimes all that’s needed is a little helpful advice. As someone from the poetry table exclaimed, “Slap that on a bumper sticker and sell that shit!” PENELOPE BASS.

COURTESY MAPLEXO

BEST

WEARABLE SKATEBOARDS With its strong skateboard community and creative populace, it shouldn’t surprise anyone to learn that the pre-eminent maker of recycled skateboarding jewelry in the world calls Portland home. About a decade ago when MapleXO started, no one had ever thought of fashioning earrings, necklaces and bracelets from discarded skateboard decks. The Portland company has been often-imitated since. Founder Lindsay Jo Holmes began repurposing skate decks into earrings in her living room on Southeast Division Street in 2006. At barely 5 feet tall, the blond skateboarder may not look like she knows her way around power tools, but over the years she’s honed her skills to become the best. “When we first started MapleXO, the goal was to save as many skateboards from landfills as we could,” Holmes says. “The copycats were really discouraging at first, but now that it’s been so long and we’re still at the top of the skateboard jewelry food chain, they’re kind of just helping us fulfill the mission that we set out to do.” The current MapleXO operation can be found at 2925 NE Glisan St., in the Mill Shop and Co-op. The space is shared with high-end bike maker Ascari, renowned tattoo machine maker Seth Ciferri, and several professional woodworkers. The storefront location is open whenever someone is available to staff it, displaying merchandise from several Portland artists. MapleXO is still a small operation, with only two full-time employees, but it’s a staple in the skate community. MapleXO recently collaborated with legendary skateboarder John Cardiel on a record adapter for 45s, and created custom ramps for skate events throughout the city. Portland skaters still help make it all possible. “We show up to the shop, and there’s a stack of broken skateboards on the porch, with no note or anything,” Holmes says, laughing. “It’s so Portland.” BROOKE GEERY.

BEST

PRANK You wouldn’t be wrong if your gut reaction to seeing a yellow envelope in your windshield wiper was to crumple it up and walk away. The parking crunch is one of Portland’s many growing pains. But make sure to check the date on that ticket before throwing it on

LINDSAY JO HOLMES AT MAPLEXO

the ground in disgust. If it’s April 1, it may be a voucher for a free slice from Sizzle Pie. Getting punked with free pizza would seem like an odd April Fools’ joke under usual circumstances, but there’s nothing usual about this hesher metal-themed pizza chainlet known for blasting Motörhead while serving up pies with names like “The Ol’ Dirty” until 4 am. Since 2012, Sizzle Pie has issued windshield-wiper “citations” from the “Circuit Court Pizza Office” every April 1 that look exactly like a ticket from Portland parking enforcement, except for the fine print: “You have been found guilty and sentenced to one free slice of pizza from Sizzle Pie.” The street outside Willamette Week’s office was littered with them by midafternoon this April 1, leading us to believe our neighbors in the Nob Hill district either didn’t get the joke or were above the idea of chowing down on a free slice of “Napalm Breath.” Their loss was our gain: We snatched up the strays and ate like kings for a week. PETE COTTELL.

BEST

BLAZERS STREETWEAR The art of Trillblazin (trillblazin.myshopify. com) is not an exact science. “One thing we have going for us is we play off each other really well,” says Ira LaFontaine, who co-founded the Portland streetwear brand with friend Keith Kunis. “We start just brainstorming and…’” “What he’s trying to say,” interjects Kunis, “is he comes over to my house, we turn on Netflix and watch our favorite TGIF shows from the ’90s, and we go, ‘That could be a great shirt idea.’” He’s joking, but it’s funny because it’s sort of true. The Trillblazin aesthetic crosses millennial nostalgia with an adoration for the Trail Blazers, hip-hop (“trill” being the Southern rap term for “keeping it real”), and the iconography of Web 2.0. So far, the duo has yet to incorporate Urkel or Balki into any of their gear, but they’ve turned Rasheed Wallace into a Simpsons character, lifted fonts from Kendrick Lamar and N.W.A, and appropriated logos from Tommy Hilfiger, FUBU and the Portland Timbers. “We never thought it was going to be a full-on clothing company,” LaFontaine says. “We went into it thinking we wanted to create something that’s not out there right now.”

LaFontaine and Kunis met in high school, bonding over sneakers, Internet tomfoolery and, especially, the “Jail Blazers” teams of the early aughts. One of Kunis’ fondest teenage memories is the time he exchanged a dozen or so words with Wallace while flipping through CDs at Sam Goody in Lloyd Center. “He was wearing gray Blazers sweatpants with a giant gray hoodie,” he says. “At the time I was like, ‘That must be like 10 XL he’s wearing.’” LaFontaine started an Instagram account in 2013 as a repository for his online collection of photos of former players. On Instagram he developed Trillblazin’s social media “voice”: all-caps, lots of emojis, absurd photoshopping. Without much of a concerted push, the brand went viral, attracting more than 10,000 followers on Instagram and Twitter. The shirts followed. Nearly every piece of apparel they’ve produced has sold out. Its most popular so far is the “Trillard,” a jerseystyle design playing off the “Keep It 100” emoji. (The only dud so far? A similar design emblazoned with “L-Smooth,” LaMarcus Aldridge’s childhood nickname.) LaFontaine and Kunis have since expanded Trillblazin into the offline world, hosting shoe events and Blazers-themed art shows. They plan to continue throwing quarterly parties, and might even launch a line of baby clothes. That last part may be another joke. But, as Kunis says, “Everyone wants Trill Babies.” MATTHEW SINGER.

BEST

DOCK Is there any torture more keen than biking next to a cool, glittering river in triple-digit heat, with no way to get to the water? Enter The Dock, the public strip of planks extending into the Willamette’s otherwise inaccessible waters just south of the Hawthorne Bridge along the Eastbank Esplanade—at the end of one of the city’s most-trafficked streets, with ample parking and public transportation, all within easy walking distance of OMSI, Bunk Bar, Noraneko and Water Avenue Coffee. Leave aside the occasional shallow controversy between day drinkers and dragon boaters—there’s room for everyone. The Dock may just be the most important 10 feet of shoreline in all of Portland. A perch there gives you just about the only place in the central city where you can dip your feet in the newly clean waters of the mightiest north-flowing river in the Western Hemisphere. Strip off your shirt and gaze at the sweltering city, which now feels yours more CONT. on page 42

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

C O U R T E S Y W I L L I E H AT F I E L D

WILLIE HATFIELD AND FRIEND

than ever. With a bathing suit and beer in hand, you are a king or queen of Portland. But even more than a king, here you are truly a member of a citywide community. As the de facto downtown beach—where even more beach is being constructed with $300,000 of city money—there’s the chance to high-five a wide cross section of the people with whom we share this river town. You will share the Dock with boaters, skateboard dads, and pretty party people alike. It’s your Dock, but it’s everyone else’s Dock, too. Say hi to your fellow sweaty city dwellers, and stay cool. ADRIENNE SO.

The dinosaur has since healed, but Hatfield has outgrown him. He and his partner will travel the world by boat with the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society, helping porpoises and dolphins. At each berth, they will ride bicycles they built on each berth where they wash ashore. And so the young dino must find a home. Hatfield says he’s gotten plenty of interest, but for now the baby dino is still an orphan. “In general, people are really excited about it,” he says, “and then people realize they don’t have space for a 12-foot T. rex.” MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

BEST

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

BEST

CRAIGSLIST AD

VICTORY FOR EAST PORTLAND EQUITY

Some people like to stand on the shoulders of giants. Others ride on the backs of giant, freaking dinosaurs. In June, the monster appeared in the rear recesses of the Internet. It was a harnessed skeletal beast, with teeth the size of shinbones and seemingly built for speed, with wheels on its feet and tail. The creature was being ridden by a dude with an outfit straight outta Out of Africa. “She’s a bit difficult to handle,” read the accompanying copy, “but she’s never attacked anyone in the crowds that form whenever I take her out of the warehouse where she lives. I labored for many months on this act of creation but now find that I’m not the right rider for this beautiful creature.” At the top, in Times New Roman, are the following words: “Dino Art Bike—$2,000.” The mighty Tyrannosaurus rex is the property and the invention, as it turns out, of Willie Hatfield of Eugene, a bike engineer whose very first pedalpowered project, 10 years ago in Michigan, was an underwater bicycle shaped like a torpedo. “Back in college, I made a human-powered submarine for a competition,” he says. “That was as part of a team. We were only down 40 feet. It was like a drag race. We ended up winning that one.” He built the dino bike three years ago for a kinetic sculpture race in Corvallis. “It’s fine on the road,” Hatfield says, “but for kinetic races you’re supposed to go in mud and sand and water. I was trying to climb a sand dune and I ended up breaking its back, and I had to reconstruct it.”

The road to Powell Butte is not promising. The lost highway of outer Southeast Powell Boulevard steers through promises of lap dances and bowling parties—a neon mirage accessed from bike lanes that get more use as sidewalks. The biggest one-time investment of Portland dollars here at Gresham’s edge is $80 million for the city’s new underground drinking-water tanks (a construction job despised by defenders of Mount Tabor’s open-air reservoirs). Yet at a stoplight marked only by a gas station, a new road rises from past failures into cleaner pine air, arriving at Portland’s most breathtaking public park since…well, Mount Tabor. Powell Butte Nature Park (16160 SE Powell Blvd.) acts as a form of reparations to the Portland citizens shoved to the eastern fringes of the city. A visit means negotiating with the teens grimly vaping in the parking lot; they are, in their way, welcoming you to wonderland. The city’s easternmost Benson Bubbler water fountain (and another one for dogs) leads to paved, wheelchair-accessible trails that tangle into forested glens, grasslands where swifts whirl and dive, and a 360-degree lookout that showcases Mount Hood burning the color of a cherry Slurpee in the sunset. (Other awards this place deserves: best moonrise, best lover’s lane, best spot to smoke weed outdoors.) Powell Butte is the zenith of an untamed, inclusive, less homogenous Portland—the kind of location naysayers claim this city no longer nourishes. It’s the best money we ever spent. AARON MESH.

OF THE YEAR

BEST BAR IN SCAPPOOSE: The Wigwam, “a ramshackle Harley haunt that takes

only cash, mostly serves Miller High Life and looks at you funny if you’re new—although if you talk about fishing for catfish, you’ll bond in no time.” April 22, 2015

A survey of other things WW formally declared “The Best” in the past 12 months.

ing album about unavoidable failure, unearned success and a sense of loss that lingers so long because it’s mixed with fear.” We called it better than Nevermind and maybe even the Chronic. April 8, 2015

boozy slushie, the Peach Blended. Aug. 20, 2014

BEST 4/20 OF OUR LIFETIME: 4/20/2015. Wm. Willard Greene suggests a

BEST BEER: Upright Engelberg Pilsner, which is “made in a

national cannabis holiday now that weed is finally legal, with a special song, subtle weed-themed clothing and a moment of silence for the “countless men and women who have been imprisoned or killed in the U.S., Mexico and around the world in a misguided attempt to eliminate a mildly psychoactive herb that was grown in the gardens of our Founding Fathers.” April 15, 2015

tank that’s never seen another beer. And as in Germany—and unlike those macro lagers shipped between continents—it’s found only within a few miles of where it’s brewed.” Beer Guide, Feb. 25, 2015

was signed by the Seahawks after the NFL draft. May 1, 2015

BEST DEER EVER: Pot-eating deer Sugar Bob “eats that bud like it’s kale, and then he gets really sleepy.” Obviously, this is Oregon’s stoned spirit animal. Dec. 11, 2014

BEST NEW BAND: Divers, who sound like “Bruce Springsteen and

Paul Westerberg took over as the house band at a blue-collar bar somewhere in the Rust Belt— then robbed the bar, ran from the cops and wrote songs while on the lam.” May 13, 2015

BEST PARKING-LOT PARTY OF THE SUMMER: The Drinking Lot, a pop-up beer bar in “that

screwed-up used-car lot at the east end of the Burnside Bridge. The one by the mattress store and the ‘Cash for Cars’ Subaru, under the creepy Coors Light sign that says ‘Feel the Rush of Refreshment.’ The car lot you’ve driven past hundreds of times and thought, ‘Does anybody actually buy cars there?’” April 10, 2015

BEST GODDAMN HOT DOG MATTHEW KORFHAGE HAS EVER HAD: The Olympia Provisions frankfurter “is like a

European sandwich: simple and pure, meat and bread perfected.” June 17, 2015

BEST NBA RAPPER: Damian Lillard, who was told by a genuinely

impressed Sway, “You’re spitting better than these rappers, man.” Feb. 14, 2015

BEST AND BUSIEST BAR IN DOWNTOWN VANCOUVER: Loowit Brewing, where everything is “cocked, locked and ready to rock, as the locals may or may not say.” April 22, 2015

otter’s pocket, chock-full of meat and jus.” Cheap Eats, March 18, 2015

BEST BARTENDERS IN TOWN, WORKING FROM ONE OF THE BEST BAR SHELVES IN TOWN: Rum Club, which we praised for having the best

BEST OF THE MEGA-SELLING ALBUMS OF THE EARLY 1990S: No Fences by Garth Brooks, “a quiet, brood-

BEST PUNTER IN COLLEGE FOOTBALL: Portland State’s 27-year-old Kyle Loomis, who

BEST ITALIAN BEEF IN TOWN: Bridge City Pizza’s, which “comes wetter than an

BEST RESTAURANT: Kachka, which is “like a party at Mom’s house—

if your mom grew up near Minsk and had a weird thing for Lenin.” Restaurant Guide, Oct. 14, 2014

BEST REASON TO DRIVE TO EUGENE: Ryo Toyonaga’s “deliciously pervy sculptures

and paintings at the Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art.” Dec. 24, 2014

BEST FOOD CART: Holy Mole, whose title dish “is every bit as

complex, rich and flavorful as the moles you’d find at Oswaldo Bibiano’s upscale Autentica, or other lauded spots such as Nuestra Cocina or Oregon City’s Loncheria Mitzil.” Cheap Eats, March 18, 2015

BEST. SIMPSONS EPISODE. EVER: Season 25, episode 13 “The Man Who Grew Too

Much.” “It ends with the final appearance of Edna Krabappel, voiced by Marcia Wallace, who died [in 2013]. In the clip, Flanders (who you probably forgot married Bart’s teacher) tangos passionately with his love, only to awaken on his recliner, staring longingly at photos of both his lost wives. “Sure do miss that laugh,” he sighs, only to be greeted by a guffawing Nelson, who somberly follows with “I’ll miss her too. We all will.” Aug. 20, 2014

BEST TIMES WE’VE FOUND TO GO TO HK CAFE, HOME OR PORTLAND’S NEW FAVORITE DIM SUM: 11 am or between 2 and 3 pm.

perpetually clad in jeans and a hoodie, he looks like a skater bro who never grew up.” Nov. 26, 2014

BEST MEXICAN FOOD IN BEST 108 SECONDS OF MUSIC WOODBURN, THE STATE’S BEST RELEASED THIS YEAR: PLACE FOR MEXICAN FOOD: “I remember,” by Nashville quartet Bully, “a visceral Los Laureles Taqueria, whose tlayuda was a “16gut punch that justifies ditching work to listen to it 10-plus times in a row on the drive home.” June 3, 2015

BEST BAR: Stammtisch, a German-stley beier bar serving

“German-made beers shipped through the Panama Canal and served in their native glassware, little-known Bavarian schnapps specially ordered through the Oregon Liquor Control Commission and a food menu that goes far beyond sausages and pretzels.” Bar Guide, April 22, 2015

flavored soy curls, soul-warming collard greens, black-eyed peas, coleslaw and an earthy cashew ranch dressing, “it’s pretty much everything lovable about Southern cuisine in one bowl.” March 4, 2015

BEST BREWPUB EATERY, PERIOD: BTU Brasserie, “the only Chinese spot in town to brew its own beer.” Cheap Eats, March 18, 2015

BEST REGIONAL-FETISHIST COMBO: Marionberry jam, Rogue Creamery blue cheese and hazelnuts, with smoked Muscovy duck, on buttered and grilled bread at PBJ’s Grill. Cheap Eats, March 18, 2015

Jan. 7, 2015

BEST STANDUP COMIC, AS BEST-TASTING, MOST BEEFLIKE VOTED BY PEERS: VEGGIE BURGER IN THE CITY: Sean Jordan. “A tall, decent-looking white dude, Pause diner’s is “smoky and mushroomy, covered with Tillamook cheddar and housemade zucchini pickles and nestled in a pillowy bun smeared with chipotle mayo.” Dec. 24, 2014

BEST VEGAN BOWL: The Southern bowl at Canteen. With barbecue-

inch rustic corn tostada griddled to a crackly crunch and topped with refried beans and a magical elixir called asiento, which is the drippings and bits left from making carnitas.” Aug. 27, 2014

BEST DAMN CHILE VERDE YOU COULD EVER GET MADE BY A DUTCH WOMAN IN A BAR: By Annelies (now sadly retired), at the Standard, a

BEST RADLER OR SHANDY: Stiegl Grapefruit Radler, which “tastes like

grapefruit Izze. They must’ve put the lightest lager they could find in this and then spiked it with grapefruit.” June 17, 2015

BEST CO-OPTION OF WEIRD TWITTER TO SELL A PRODUCT: BK Chicken Fries. We praised “the hypnotic

graphics, Bolshevik revolutionary images and bizarre chicken-potato dating commercials.” May 20, 2015

BEST WATER-SPRITZER DUDE AT THE WATERFRONT BLUES FESTIVAL: “The dancing one with the Dog the Bounty Hunter haircut and dense salt-and-pepper chest hair.” July 8, 2015

BEST SEX SCENE: GONE GIRL. “No! Worst sex scene! Worst! Poor Doogie.”

little neighborhood bar just off East Burnside Street. Bar Guide, April 22, 2015

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Back in April, when we launched our Top 200 readers’ poll, we really had no idea how well it would do. Portlanders are historically averse to lists, rankings, and superlatives like “best” when describing themselves or their businesses. Well, nearly 18,000 of you voted, a total of 350,000 times (which, by the way, is more than a few recent elections around here)! A few of you even tried to cheat! After a 3-month process that included a nomination phase and a final vote window, we’ve finally tallied the winners and are happy to present them here, along with a handful of picks from the WW editorial staff.

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

TOTAL VOTERS: 17,737 TOTAL VOTES: 343,038 TOP 3 VOTE-GETTERS: Powell’s City Of Books Blue Star Donuts Oregon Humane Society

WW Advertising Supplement Art Director Xel Moore Advertising Director Scott Wagner Copy Chief John Locanthi

BEST BAGEL Winner:

Bowery Bagel

310 NW Broadway / 227-6674 bowerybagels.com Genuine n.Y.-style bagels from a transplanted new Yorker, now delivered by bicycle to your door in genuine Portland style. Runner-up:

Spielman Bagels 2128 SE Division St. / 467-0600 spielmanbagels.com Honorable mention:

Kenny & Zuke’s 2376 NW Thurman St. / 954.1737 kennyandzukes.com/bagelworks Editors’ pick: Spielman Bagels

BEST BANH MI

BEST BREAD

BEST BURRITO

BEST DOUGHNUT

BEST FOOD CART

Winner:

Multiple locations. grandcentralbakery.com

Multiple locations. losgorditospdx.com

Multiple locations. bluestardonuts.com

Multiple locations. / 971-255-3480 khaomangai.com

grand Central Bakery If GcB were just a cafe slinging breakfast sandwiches and scones instead of a bakery, it would still be packed every day. But it is a bakery. one hell of a bakery. Dave’s Killer Bread 5209 SE International Way / 335-8077 daveskillerbread.com

Runner-up:

La Bonita Multiple locations. labonitarestaraunt.net

Pips Original 4759 NE Fremont St., Suite C / 206-8692 pipsoriginal.com

Honorable mention:

Runner-up:

Ken’s Artisan Bakery 338 NW 21st Ave. / 248-2202 kensartisan.com

Editors’ pick: Donut Byte Labs

BEST BRUNCH

BEST CHEF

BEST ETHIOPIAN

Winner:

naomi Pomeroy the 2014 James Beard winner is famous for the six-course prix fixe meals at Beast, but Portlanders can also hop across the street and treat themselves to her bar snacks at Expatriate.

Editors’ pick: An Xuyen

BEST BARBECUE Winner:

Podnah’s Pit

1625 NE Killingsworth St. / 281-3700 podnahspit.com tex-Mex meets tex ’cue at this beloved Portland standard-bearer on Killingsworth. Keep it slow and low, Rodney. Runner-up:

Russell St. BBQ 325 NE Russell St. / 528-8224 russellstreetbbq.com

Runner-up:

Gregory Gourdet Winner:

Honorable mention:

3808 N Williams Ave., Suite 3 / 621-1400 tastynsons.com

Editors’ pick: Gabriel Rucker

Which came first: the best bloody mary in Portland or the best brunch? tasty n Sons offers the most complimentary pair of awards in this year’s Best of Portland tally.

Winner:

tasty n sons

Runner-up:

Screen Door 2337 E Burnside St. / 542-0880 screendoorrestaurant.com Honorable mention:

Broder 2508 SE Clinton St. / 736-3333 broderpdx.com Editors’ pick: Screen Door

BEST BURGER

BEST BLOODY MARY

Winner:

3808 N Williams Ave., Suite 3 / 621-1400 tastynsons.com

killer Burger

chef John Gorham’s popular brunch joint doesn’t just have one killer bloody mary, it has an entire menu of them. Want some jerky or aquavit in your mary? tasty n Sons is way ahead of you.

Bacon. A burger patty. Some sauce. Some more bacon. there aren’t any secrets to Killer Burger’s success, just a hell of a lot of juicy, gut-busting goodness.

Runner-up:

Little Big Burger Multiple locations. littlebigburger.com

Multiple locations. killerburger.biz

Runner-up:

Honorable mention:

Holman’s Restaurant 15 SE 28th Ave. / 231-1093

Tabor Tavern 5325 E Burnside St. / 208-3544 tabortavern.com

Editors’ pick: Holman’s Restaurant

Editors’ pick: Killer Burger

BEST FOOD-CART POD

At nearly 20 years old, Queen of Sheba is more than the city’s most established Ethiopian restaurant: It’s a culinary institution in its own right. Runner-up:

Runner-up:

Bete-Lukas 2504 SE 50th Ave., Suite D / 477-8778 bete-lukas.com

Honorable mention:

Cartopia 1200 SE Hawthorne Blvd.

Dalo’s Kitchen 1533 NE Alberta St. / 740-0313 dalos-kitchen.com

Editors’ pick: tidbit

BEST FROZEN YOGURT

BEST FISH & CHIPS horse Brass

4534 SE Belmont St. / 232-2202 horsebrass.com the English-style pub that WW readers selected as the city’s best Irish pub has also perfected this deep-fried staple of English pub cuisine. Pass the malt vinegar, please. Runner-up:

The Frying Scotsman 9 SW Alder St. / 706-3841 thefryingscotsmanpdx.com

Winner:

eB & Bean

Honorable mention:

1425 NE Broadway / 281-6081 ebandbean.com

Hawthorne Fish House 4343 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 548-4434 hawthornefishhouse.com

Where fro-yo becomes more than a healthy alternative to ice cream: It becomes an artisanal delight all its own.

Editors’ pick: the Frying Scotsman

BEST FOOD & DRINK FESTIVAL

Portland’s venerable (since 1984!) pizza place and fruit soda maker now has enough locations throughout the city to deliver to most neighborhoods.

Winner:

Runner-up:

Swirl 3538 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 235-0422 swirl-frozenyogurt.com

oregon Brewers festival

Honorable mention:

oregonbrewfest.com

Sizzle Pie Two locations on Burnside Street / 234-7437 sizzlepie.com

In a city filled to the brim with booze and drinking festivals, the oregon Brewers Festival is the sudsiest of them all. one hundred and five beers in the summer sun? You voted a resounding “Yes, please!”

Honorable mention:

Runner-up:

Pizzicato Pizza Multiple locations. pizzicatopizza.com Editors’ pick: Lonesome’s Pizza

sw 10th and alder

Cartlandia 8145 SE 82nd Ave. / 358-7873 cartlandia.com

Honorable mention:

hot liPs Pizza Multiple locations. hotlipspizza.com

Editors’ pick: Holy Mole

When you’re hungry and life is making you hungrier, you can always go downtown. Just listen to the sizzle of the food carts of the city. Linger on the sidewalk where the menu signs are pretty. How can you lose?

Winner:

BEST DELIVERY

Grilled Cheese Grill 1027 NE Alberta St. / 206-8959 grilledcheesegrill.com

Winner:

the much-beloved chowder chain finally opened up shop in Portland after nearly 70 years of feeding locals, tourists, Paul newman and RFK alike along the oregon coast. the catch: It’s literally at PDX, but a true layover luxury. Jake’s Famous Crawfish 401 SW 12th Ave. / 226-1419 mccormickandschmicks.com

Honorable mention:

2413 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. / 287-6302 queenofsheba.biz

Editors’ pick: Enat Kitchen

Runner-up:

Koi Fusion Multiple locations. koifusionpdx.com

Queen of sheBa

Portland International Airport / 493-7458 moschowder.com

Editors’ pick: ox

Editors’ pick: Podnah’s Pit

Honorable mention:

mo’s

Ox 2225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. / 284-3366 oxpdx.com

Smokehouse 21 413 NW 21st Ave. / 971-373-8990 smokehouse21.com

Genies Cafe 1101 SE Division St. / 445-9777 geniesdivision.com

BEST CHOWDER

Honorable mention:

tasty n sons

John Gorham

While the menu has expanded, you want the khao man gai—a chickenand-rice dish from Bangkok with chinese origins—simple and borderline perfect. Show up before 1 pm and the chicken comes with skin. You want that, too. Runner-up:

Voodoo Doughnut Multiple locations. voodoodoughnut.com

Editors’ pick: taqueria chavez 3

Portland’s outer Southeast drivethru banh mi shop offers one of the largest, most sensibly priced selections of these delectable Vietnamese sandwiches.

Luc Lac 835 SW 2nd Ave. / 222-0047 luclackitchen.com

Robo Taco 607 SE Morrison St. / 232-3707 robotacopdx.com

Runner-up:

Editors’ pick: Regular Portland Bread

8308 SE Powell Blvd. / 788-3098 thebestbaguette.com

Honorable mention:

nong’s khao man gai

Blue Star’s doughnuts—made fresh daily from brioche dough that takes 18 hours to make!—may sound daunting or hoity-toity at first, but you can actually taste the love.

Best Baguette

Lardo Multiple locations. lardosandwiches.com

Blue star donuts

Gigantic, inexpensive burritos are a blessed dime a dozen in this town. Los Gorditos separates itself from this loaded file by providing the finest vegan and vegetarian options in Portland.

Winner:

Runner-up:

los gorditos

Nectar Frozen Yogurt Multiple locations. nectarfroyo.com Editors’ pick: Eb & Bean

cont. on page 47

Bite of Oregon biteoforegon.com Honorable mention:

Feast feastportland.com Editors’ pick: Portland Farmhouse and Wild Ale Festival

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Shandong www.shandongportland.com

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Beyond Shandong the www.shandongportland.com

@wweek @WillametteWeek

BEST GLUTEN-FREE RESTAURANT

hybrid food—you don’t find at most Indian restaurants stateside.

Winner:

Swagat 2074 NW Lovejoy St. / 227-4300 swagat.com

Harlow

3632 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 971-255-0138 harlowpdx.com Wheat-o-phobes rejoice! the menu at Harlow, Prasad’s bowl-driven sister restaurant, includes items like pasta, mac and cheese, and veggie burgers. there’s not an ounce of gluten in any of them. Even the tap list skews gluten-free. Runner-up:

Blossoming Lotus 1713 NE 15th Ave. / 228-0048 blpdx.com Honorable mention:

Cultured Caveman Multiple locations. culturedcavemanpdx.com

BEST HOT POT

Runner-up:

Honorable mention

Namaste Multiple locations. namasteindiancuisine.com Editors’ pick: chennai Masala

BEST IRISH PUB Winner:

HorSe BraSS

4534 SE Belmont St. / 232-2202 horsebrass.com Willamette Week readers decided—really?—that the very best Irish pub is, in fact, one that is not Irish at all. Great taps, darts and fish and chips. not Irish. Runner-up:

Winner:

Kells Multiple locations. kellsirish.com

1975 SW 1st Ave. / 224-6696

Honorable mention:

Hot Pot City

We cannot stress this enough: ALL YoU cAn EAt Hot Pot, with the freshest and most varied ingredients and broths in town. Runner-up:

Toji Korean Grill House 4615 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 232-8998 tojikoreangrillhouse.com Honorable mention:

Beijing Hot Pot 2768 SE 82nd Ave. / 774-2525 thebeijinghotpot.com Editors’ pick: chongqing Huo Guo

BEST ICE CREAM Winner:

Salt & Straw Multiple locations. saltandstraw.com

What can be said about this farm-tocone operation that hasn’t already been said by Willamette Week, Bon Appetit, and The Wall Street Journal? It’s fantastic ice cream. Runner-up:

Ruby Jewel Multiple locations. rubyjewel.com Honorable mention:

Fifty Licks 2021 SE Clinton St. / 954-294-8868 fifty-licks.com Editors’ pick: cool Moon

BEST INDIAN

Biddy McGraw’s 6000 NE Glisan St. / 233-1178 biddymcgraws.com Editors’ pick: Kells

Winner:

MoNtage

301 SE Morrison St. / 234-1234 montageportland.com Montage didn’t just win this category because it serves food until 2 am most nights—4 am on weekends—it’s that cajun-creole food is perfectly designed for being three sheets to the wind. Runner-up:

Luc Lac 835 SW 2nd Ave. / 222-0047 luclackitchen.com Honorable mention:

Original Hotcake House 1002 SE Powell Blvd. / 236-7402 hotcakehouse.com Editors’ pick: original Hotcake House

BEST LOCAL COFFEE HOUSE Winner:

StuMPtowN

Runner-up:

Kachka 720 SE Grand Ave. / 235-0059 kachkapdx.com

Eastside Distilling 1512 SE 7th Ave. / 926-7060 eastsidedistilling.com

Pollo Norte 5427 NE 42nd Ave. / 287-0669 pollonorte.com

Clear Creek Distillery 2389 NW Wilson St. / 248-9470 clearcreekdistillery.com

Editors’ pick: Kachka

Editors’ pick: clear creek Distillery

BEST OMELET

BEST MARGARITA

Winner:

Winner

Por Que No?

Multiple locations. porquenotacos.com Por Que no? joins tasty n Sons as a two-category winner for best style of cuisine (Mexican) and the drink that goes with said food—in this case its delicious, thirst-quenching margaritas. Runner-up:

Casa del Matador Multiple locations. matadorrestaurants.com

MotHer’S BiStro & Bar

Honorable mention:

Nuestra Cocina 2135 SE Division St. / 232-2135 nuestracocina.com

212 SW Stark St. / 464-1122 mothersbistro.com

Editors’ pick: Bunk Bar

Perennial James Beard finalist cathy Whims’ regional Italian restaurant has been one of the city’s premier eateries since it opened its doors a decade ago.

Runner-up:

NiCHolaS reStauraNt

Runner-up:

Barista Multiple locations. baristapdx.com

NoStraNa

1401 SE Morrison St. / 234-2427 nostrana.com

Ava Gene’s 3377 SE Division St. / 971-229-0571 avagenes.com Honorable mention:

Piazza Italia 1129 NW Johnson St. / 478-0619 piazzaportland.com

Case Study Multiple locations. casestudycoffee.com Honorable mention:

Editors’ pick: Heart

BEST LOCAL COFFEE ROASTER

Editors’ pick: Ava Gene’s

BEST IZAKAYA

BEST MEDITERRANEAN Winner:

Multiple locations. nicholasrestaurant.com

nicholas has been Portland’s go-to Mediterranean restaurant since it first opened up as a mom-andpop pizza joint in 1986. It gradually added more and more Lebanese items to the menu until the city was hooked. try the mezza. Runner-up:

Mediterranean Exploration Company 333 NW 13th Ave. / 222-0906 mediterraneanexplorationcompany. com

Biwa

Tarboush 3257 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 235-3277 tarboushbistro.com

Biwa offers the best burger you’ll find at perhaps any izakaya restaurant, not just in Portland.

BEST MEXICAN FOOD

215 SE 9th Ave. / 239-8830 biwarestaurant.com

Runner-up:

Tanuki 8029 SE Stark St. tanukipdx.com

Winner: Winner

Multiple locations. porquenotacos.com

Multiple locations. stumptowncoffee.com

Portlanders agree: Bryan Steelman’s recreation of the taco feast he experienced in Morelia, Mexico, is worth waiting in a line around the block for.

Miho Izakaya 4057 N Interstate Ave. / 719-6152 mihopdx.com

Stumptown roasts its beans every day and offers to deliver this fresh roast to your door every two weeks.

Editors’ pick: tanuki

Runner-up:

4246 SE Belmont St. / 477-4805 slappycakes.com

Coava 2631 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 894-8134 coavacoffee.com Honorable mention:

Heart 537 SW 12th Ave. / 224-0036 heartroasters.com Editors’ pick: Heart

order a squeeze bottle of batter, a bloody mary pitcher and bond with your kids over make-your-own pancakes. Slappy cakes FtW!

BEST LOCAL DISTILLERY

Runner-up:

Winner:

Laughing Planet Multiple locations. laughingplanetcafe.com

New deal diStillery 900 SE Salmon St. / 234-2513 newdealdistillery.com

Runner-up:

Nuestra Cocina 2135 SE Division St. / 232-2135 nuestracocina.com

Zell’s Cafe 1300 SE Morrison St. / 239-0196 zellscafe.com Honorable mention

Gravy 3957 N Mississippi Ave. / 287-8800 eatatgravy.com Editors’ pick: original Hotcake House

BEST PAD THAI Winner:

Pad tHai kitCHeN

2309 SE Belmont St. / 232-8766 Pad thai, like pizza, still tastes amazing reheated the next day. Pad thai Kitchen understands this. that’s why it serves you enough for tonight and tomorrow morning. Runner-up:

Cha’Ba Thai Multiple locations. chabathaipdx.com

Por Que No? StuMPtowN

this classic downtown brunch spot’s omelet special changes daily. the only things you can be sure of is that it will have three eggs, it will be delicious, and it will be as close to a home-cooked meal as you’ll find in town. Runner-up:

Honorable mention:

Winner:

Runner-up:

Honorable mention:

Portland’s own Stumptown—now also in Seattle, new York and L.A.— is kind of like Starbucks if the latter had a soul and/or good coffee.

SlaPPy CakeS

chef troy MacLarty introduced Portland to the street food of India—kati rolls and Goan-Portuguese

BEST LATE-NIGHT MENU

Gluten is out, and Harlow is in. the bowl-focused, gluten-free eatery opened its doors to a salivating public last year.

Winner:

Multiple locations. bollywoodtheaterpdx.com

Editors’ pick: Laurelwood Brewpub

one of Portland’s oldest distilleries, new Deal shows the world just how great chocolate-infused vodka and dry gin can be. Also, drink Hot Monkey pepper-flavored vodka.

Multiple locations. stumptowncoffee.com

BEST KID-FRIENDLY RESTAURANT

Bollywood tHeater

Hopworks 2944 SE Powell Blvd. / 232-4677 hopworksbeer.com

BEST ITALIAN

Honorable mention:

Winner:

Honorable mention

Honorable mention:

Sen Yai 3384 SE Division St. / 236-3573 pokpoksenyai.com Editors’ pick: tarad thai

BEST PATIO Winner:

Honorable mention:

wHite owl SoCial CluB

Editors’ pick: tienda Santa cruz

the White owl’s enormous patio boasts 6,000 square feet of dog-

Cha Cha Cha Multiple locations. chachachapdx.com

BEST NEW RESTAURANT

1305 SE 8th Ave. / 236-9672 whiteowlsocialclub.com

cont. on page 48

Winner:

Harlow

3632 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 971-255-0138 harlowpdx.com Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

friendly space, and is continually teeming with beautiful people enjoying high-quality refreshments and food. The bar/music venue is a real jewel on Distillery Row.

them will give you a pamphlet from an aquarium telling you exactly which seafood can be eaten sustainably at this time of year. Bamboo Sushi does.

Runner-up:

Roadside Attraction 1000 SE 12th Ave. / 233-0743 Honorable mention:

Rontoms 600 E Burnside St. / 236-4536 Editors’ pick: The Hop & Vine

BEST PHO

Multiple locations. olympiaprovisions.com

Editors’ pick: Steven Smith Teamaker

Runner-up:

Honorable mention:

The beloved charcuterie and salumeria has recently changed one letter in its name. Thank God that’s the only thing it’s changing.

People’s Food Co-op 3029 SE 21st Ave. / 674-2642 peoples.coop Blossoming Lotus 1713 NE 15th Ave. / 228-0048 blpdx.com Editors’ pick: Old Salt Marketplace

BREAKSIDE BREWERY

It seems only fitting that this chic descendant of Pho PDX that offers a nice cocktail list with its spiced beef broth also wins the reader poll for Best Pho in Portland. Runner-up:

Pho Hung 4717 SE Powell Blvd. / 775-3170 Honorable mention:

Pho Van 1919 SE 82nd Ave. / 788-5244 phovanrestaurant.com Editors’ pick: Pho An Sandy

BEST PIZZA Winner

APIZZA SCHOLLS

4741 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 233-1286 apizzascholls.com If there’s one thing Willamette Week readers, the arts and culture staff and Anthony Bourdain can agree on, it’s that Apizza Scholls is the best pizza in Portland. Runner-up:

Sizzle Pie Two locations on Burnside / 234-7437 sizzlepie.com Honorable mention:

Life of Pie 3632 N Williams Ave. / 719-7321 lifeofpiepizza.com Editors’ pick: Apizza Scholls

BEST PLACE TO EAT SUSTAINABLY Winner:

BAMBOO SUSHI Multiple locations. bamboosushi.com

A lot of restaurants talk about their sustainable practices, but not all of

OLYMPIA PROVISIONS

Honorable mention:

Why head out to rural wine country when you can just swing on by this industrial warehouse-turned-winery? Run by wine goddess Laurie Lewis and wine maven Renee Neely, HCDW is the oldest urban winery in Portland.

Edelweiss 3119 SE 12th Ave. / 238-4411 edelweissdeli.com Editors’ pick: Olympia Provisions

Best Brewery in this suds-filled city is a difficult choice. In a way, they’re all winners. In another, more accurate way, Breakside Brewery, which took home the gold medal from Denver’s Great American Beer Festival in the competitive IPA category last year, has the hardware to prove it.

Deschutes Brewery 210 NW 11th Ave. / 296-4906 deschutesbrewery.com Editors’ pick: Breakside Brewery

BEST RESTAURANT Winner:

POK POK

3226 SE Division St. / 232-1387 pokpokpdx.com Pok Pok is the steel-toed boot at the tip of Andy Ricker’s culinary empire. Though other entities make appearances here (Sen Yai’s honorable mention for Best Pad Thai, Pok Pok’s runner-up for Best Wings), it’s the flagship that brings home the trophy in this prestigious category. Runner-up:

KURE JUICE BAR Multiple locations. kurejuicebar.com

Between the smoothies, oatmeal and acai bowls, Kure is an allpurpose healthy eat-and-drink stop. Recommended: the Sex Panther. Runner-up:

Editors’ pick: Canteen

BEST STEAKHOUSE Winner

RINGSIDE

2165 W Burnside St. / 223-1513 ringsidesteakhouse.com Ringside has been serving steaks to Portlanders long enough that the late James Beard himself is said to have called its onion rings the best he’d ever had. Oh, and the steaks? Dry-aged, glazed with butter and cooked to perfection. Runner-up:

Ox 2225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. / 284-3366 oxpdx.com

Editors’ pick: Le Pigeon

Editors’ pick: Ox

BEST SANDWICH SHOP

BEST STRIP CLUB FOOD

Winner

Winner:

Multiple locations. bunksandwiches.com

8325 SE McLoughlin Blvd. / 231-9611 acropolispdx.com

Bunk Sandwiches doesn’t just make kickass sandwiches—that Cubano!— they’re everywhere you want to be. Its sandwiches—named after “Bunk” Moreland from The Wire—can be had at indie-rock venues, Wonder Ballroom and the Moda Center, among others.

We like to think of Acropolis as a five-star steakhouse where people just happen to also take their clothes off. Also see: salad bar. Wait, salad bar?

East Side Delicatessen Multiple locations. pdxdeli.com Editors’ pick: Tails & Trotters

ACROPOLIS STEAKHOUSE

Runner-up:

Casa Diablo 2839 NW St. Helens Road / 222-6600 casadiablo.com Honorable mention (tie):

Lucky Devil Lounge 633 SE Powell Blvd. / 206-7350 luckydevillounge.com Sassy’s 927 SE Morrison St. / 231-1606 sassysbar.com Editors’ pick: Sassy’s

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Runner-up:

Mio Sushi Multiple locations. miosushi.com Honorable mention:

Yoko’s Japanese Restaurant 2878 SE Gladstone St. / 736-9228

Winner:

Greenleaf Juicing Company 810 NW 12th Ave. / 971-271-8988 greenleafjuice.com

Honorable mention

Honorable mention:

Multiple locations. bamboosushi.com Eating at the world’s first certifiedsustainable sushi restaurant means that the standout chef’s sashimi sampler will always be fresh and in season. Easily Portland’s most creative (and popular) sushi destination.

Honorable mention:

Lardo Multiple locations. lardosandwiches.com

BAMBOO SUSHI

Editors’ pick: Hokusei

Laurelhurst Market 3155 E Burnside St. / 206-3097 laurelhurstmarket.com

Runner-up:

Winner:

Canteen 2816 SE Stark St. / 922-1858 canteenpdx.com

Andina 1314 NW Glisan St. / 228-9535 andinarestaurant.com

BUNK SANDWICHES

HIP CHICKS DO WINE

Otto’s Sausage Kitchen 4138 SE Woodstock Blvd. / 771-6714 ottossausage.com

Winner

Honorable mention:

Winner

4510 SE 23rd Ave. / 234-3790 hipchicksdowine.com

BEST SMOOTHIE/ JUICE BAR

Hopworks Urban Brewery 2944 SE Powell Blvd. / 232-4677 hopworksbeer.com

BEST URBAN WINERY

Runner-up:

820 NE Dekum St. (or 5821 SE International Way, Milwaukie) / 719-6475 breakside.com

Runner-up:

835 SW 2nd Ave / 222-0047 luclackitchen.com

Honorable mention:

Tea Chai Te Multiple locations. teachaite.com

Winner:

LUC LAC

BEST SUSHI

Winner:

BEST PORTLAND BREWERY

Winner:

BEST SAUSAGE

BEST TAQUERIA POR QUE NO?

Multiple locations. porquenotacos.com Por Que No? scores the hat trick (Best Mexican, Best Margaritas, Best Taqueria) in the inaugural Best of Portland poll. DO believe the hype. Runner-up:

Robo Taco 607 SE Morrison St. / 232-3707 robotacopdx.com Honorable mention:

Mi Mero Mole Multiple locations. mmmtacospdx.com Editors’ pick: Tienda Santa Cruz

Runner-up:

SE Wine Collective 2425 SE 35th Place / 208-2061 sewinecollective.com Honorable mention:

Coopers Hall 404 SE 6th Ave. / 719-7000 coopershall.com Editors’ pick: Enso

BEST VEGAN RESTAURANT Winner:

BLOSSOMING LOTUS

1713 NE 15th Ave. / 228-0048 blpdx.com Blossoming Lotus prides itself on taking dishes from all across the globe and making them vegan and/ or live and raw if possible. Meatfree? That’s a given. Gluten-free? That’s a perk. Soy-free? Blossoming Lotus can accommodate that, too. Runner-up:

Bye and Bye 1011 NE Alberta St. thebyeandbye.com Honorable mention:

Harlow 3632 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 971-255-0138 harlowpdx.com Editors’ pick: Portobello Vegan Trattoria

BEST WINGS

BEST TALLBOY Winner:

RAINIER

rainierbeer.com Huge upset here! Is it possible Rainier has unseated Pabst as Portland’s favorite affordable refreshment? Or were you just trying to be contrarian? It’s owned by the same company these days, so drink up friends, the joke’s on you. Runner-up:

Tecate heinekenusa.com/brands Honorable mention:

Pabst pabstblueribbon.com Editors’ pick: Fort George 3-Way IPA

BEST TEA HOUSE Winner:

Winner:

FIRE ON THE MOUNTAIN Multiple locations. portlandwings.com

Wings are great with beer. Wings are great with sports. Wings are also great on their own. So gather ’round and rejoice, Portland, for these fabulous fryers have 12 killer sauces, three locations, a brewery and a joint at the Moda.

TOWNSHEND’S TEA

Runner-up:

What began as a project to craft a loose-leaf teahouse with the vibe of a casual coffeehouse at the University of Oregon quad is now thriving in five locations.

Honorable mention:

Multiple locations. townshendstea.com

Runner-up:

The Tao of Tea Multiple locations. taooftea.com

Pok Pok 3226 SE Division St. / 232-1387 pokpokpdx.com NEPO 42 5403 NE 42nd Ave. / 288-8080 nepo42.com Editors’ pick: Fire on the Mountain

CONT. on page 50

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COME HEAR THE NEW ALBUM FROM JASON ISBELL, SOMETHING MORE THAN FREE (Listening Party) FRIDAY, JULY 17TH AT 6PM

Jason Isbell, formerly of the Drive By Truckers, returns with the follow up full length to 2013’s award-winning ‘Southeastern’, produced by Dave Cobb (Sturgill Simpson - ‘Metamodern Sounds In Country Western’).

MIKE COYKENDALL SUNDAY, JULY 19TH AT 3PM

Veteran songwriter, producer and multi-instrumentalist Mike Coykendall has been amazingly prolific over the last three decades or so. Currently most well known for his duties as a sideman, producer, and recordist via his work with M Ward, Blitzen Trapper, She & Him, Annalisa Tornfelt, & Tin Hat Trio, to name a few, Coykendall has been making his own unique outsider records since the mid ‘80s. Join us to celebrate the release of his new album, ‘Half Past, Present Pending.

2762 NE Broadway • Portland, OR • 503.282.5824 • 8am-9pm 7 days a week

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

1201 NW 17th Ave. / 229-0627 bodyvox.com Editors’ pick: Polaris

BEST ALT-COUNTRY BAND Winner:

FRUITION

fruitionband.com The cream of the crop in a city ﬁlled with string bands, Fruition has been delighting crowds with its bluegrassmeets-honky-tonk sound for seven years and counting. Runner-up:

Richmond Fontaine richmondfontaine.com Honorable mention:

Denver denvertheband.com Editors’ pick: Denver

BEST COMEDY NIGHT

BEST DANCE STUDIO Winner:

NORTHWEST DANCE PROJECT 211 NE 10th Ave. / 421-7434 nwdanceproject.org

Northwest Dance Project’s new studios in the booming central Northeast district are spacious, light, and bright—like a gallery where the moving bodies are the art. Runner-up:

BodyVox 1201 NW 17th Ave. / 229-0627 bodyvox.com Honorable mention:

AWOL Dance Collective 513 NE Schuyler St. / 351-5182 awoldance.org

BEST HIP-HOP ARTIST Winner:

COOL NUTZ

facebook.com/CoolNutz The Mayor of Portland hip-hop ﬁnally gets his due. His latest release, #BRUH, earned rave reviews earlier this year. Runner-up:

Mic Crenshaw miccrenshaw.com Honorable mention:

Illmaculate illmac.com

Winner:

OPEN MIC NIGHT @ HELIUM

1510 SE 9th Ave. / 888-643-8669 heliumcomedy.com/portland Open mic nights can be a mixed bag, but not at Helium, where performers are selected by a random to entertain Portlanders every Tuesday night. Runner-up:

Midnight Mass at Funhouse Lounge 2432 SE 11th Ave. / 841-6734 funhouselounge.com Honorable mention:

The Lez Stand Up Show 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. / 477-9477 curiouscomedy.org/events/lezstand-up Editors’ pick: Earthquake Hurricane

BEST DANCE COMPANY Winner

NORTHWEST DANCE PROJECT 211 NE 10th Ave. / 421-7434 nwdanceproject.org

Northwest Dance Project—which has created over 160 original contemporary ballets since opening in 2004—is dedicated to making ballet accessible and eﬀective for aﬁcionados and beginners alike. Runner-up:

Oregon Ballet Theatre 818 SE 6th Ave. / 227-0977 obt.org Honorable mention:

BodyVox

Editors’ pick: Rasheed Jamal

BEST INDIE ROCK BAND Winner:

TYPHOON

wearetyphoon.com The readers’ Best Indie Rock Band is more of an indie rock orchestra with its 12—count ’em TWELVE— members. Typhoon is a marriage of complimentary and contrasting sounds, with frontman Kyle Morton’s confessional vocals set against orchestral grandiosity. Runner-up:

And And And andandand.bandcamp.com Honorable mention:

Summer Cannibals summercannibals.bandcamp.com Editors’ pick: Divers

BEST JAZZ ARTIST Winner:

ESPERANZA SPALDING esperanzaspalding.com

The bluesy, soulful Portlander holds the distinction of being the ﬁrst jazz artist to snag the Grammy for Best New Artist.

Runner-up

Runner-up:

Honorable mention:

Curious Comedy Theater’s New Year’s Eve Extravaganza 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. / 477-9477 curiouscomedy.org

Honorable mention:

Runner-up:

Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St. / 231-9663 www.dougﬁrlounge.com Honorable mention:

Aladdin Theater 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. / 234-9694 www.aladdin-theater.com Editors’ pick: Doug Fir Lounge

2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale / 669-8610 mcmenamins.com/54-edgeﬁeldhome

AMY MILLER

amymillercomedy.com Comedian, podcaster, Willamette Week contributor and Dolly Parton aﬁcionado Amy Miller takes home the top prize as funniest Portlander IRL (in real life) and OTI (on the Internet). Runner-up:

Ian Karmel iankarmel.com Honorable mention:

Bri Pruett bripruett.com

Editors’ pick: Ian Karmel

BEST LOCAL RECORD LABEL Winner:

KILL ROCK STARS

Runner-up:

Cathedral Park North Edison Street and Pittsburg Avenue Honorable mention

Oregon Zoo 4001 SW Canyon Road / 226-1561 oregonzoo.org Editors’ pick: McMenamins Edgeﬁeld

BEST PLACE TO BUY ART

Rontoms 600 E Burnside St. / 236-4536 Music Millennium 3158 E Burnside St. / 862-8826 musicmillenium.com Editors’ pick: Buskers at Voodoo Doughnut

BEST PLACE TO SEE THEATER Winner:

PORTLAND CENTER STAGE 128 NW 11th Ave. / 445-3700 pcs.org

Founded as the northern sibling of Oregon Shakespeare Festival in 1988, PCS takes the center stage for this reader ranking of Portland theater venues. Runner-up:

Keller Auditorium 222 SW Clay St. / 248-4335 portland5.com/keller-auditorium Honorable mention

Artists Repertory Theatre 1515 SW Morrison St. / 241-1278 artistsrep.org Editors’ pick: Artists Repertory Theatre

BEST RECORDING STUDIO Winner:

JACKPOT RECORDING

2420 SE 50th Ave. / 239-5389 jackpotrecording.com Jackpot, where the likes of the Decemberists, Elliott Smith, SleaterKinney and Sonic Youth (among many others) have recorded, was founded by local legend/recording engineer and Tape Op magazine head honcho Larry ‘Lars’ Crane. Runner-up:

Runner-up:

Tender Loving Empire Multiple locations. tenderlovingempire.com

Haywire Recording Southeast Powell Boulevard and 77th Avenue / 775-7795 haywirerecording.com

Honorable mention:

Party Damage Records partydamagerecords.com

BEST MUSIC FESTIVAL Winner:

PICKATHON

16581 SE Hagen Road, Happy Valley pickathon.com Portland’s rustic—and best—smallscale music festival brings a healthy blend of roots, folk and indie rock out to Pendarvis Farms in Happy Valley every summer. (It has also recently reached an agreement to continue at least 10 more years at this location.) Runner-up:

MusicFestNW musicfestnw.com Honorable mention:

Winner:

PORTLAND ART MUSEUM

Winner:

At one of the Portland most elegant venues, the Portland Art Museum’s Inspire Truth aims to be a more transformational experience than the usual drunk and debauched New Year’s Eve—though rest assured, there will still be plenty of both.

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Music country meets ﬂavor country to form one of Portland’s ﬁnest day trips at McMenamins’ historic 74-acre farm-turned-concert-venuegastropub-hotel.

Founded in 1991, Kill Rock Stars is one of the few female-run record labels in the country. KRS has produced albums for many notable Portland acts, including Elliott Smith and Sleater-Kinney.

BEST LIVE MUSIC VENUE

Edging Doug Fir by a whisker, the church-turned-music-venue prides

MCMENAMINS EDGEFIELD

107 SE Washington St., Suite 155 killrockstars.com

BEST NEW YEAR’S EVE EVENT

3939 N Mississippi Ave. / 288-3895 mississippistudios.com

BEST OUTDOOR MUSIC VENUE

Winner:

Honorable mention:

Blue Cranes bluecranesmusic.com

Editors’ pick: Lumbertwink

Winner:

Project Pabst projectpabst.com

Mel Brown www.melbrownjazzcamp.com

80s Video Dance Attack videodanceattack.com

BEST LOCAL COMEDIAN

Runner-up

MISSISSIPPI STUDIOS

itself on being built, owned and operated by artists for artists. Oh, and the acoustics are arguably the best in town.

1219 SW Park Ave. / 226-2811 portlandartmuseum.org

Winner:

PORTLAND SATURDAY MARKET

Governor Tom McCall Waterfront Park, 2 SW Naito Parkway / 241-4188 portlandsaturdaymarket.com This Portland institution is the premier spot to pick up wood carvings, toys, goblin masks, juggling sticks and other artsy errata every Saturday and Sunday from late February through Christmastime. Runner-up:

Crafty Wonderland craftywonderland.com Honorable mention:

The Rock n Roll B&B Sauvie Island / 971-275-6795 facebook.com/RocknRollbnb Editors’ pick: The Rock n Roll B&B

BEST ROCK/METAL BAND Winner:

RED FANG redfang.net

“Sludgefeast,” “pseudo-Cthulhu,” “Viking mammoths,” and “sharpened meat hook,” are but a few of the phrases Willamette Week has used to describe the readers’ choice for Best Metal Band.

Last Thursday 1476 NE Alberta St. lastthursdayonalberta.com

Runner-up:

Editors’ pick: Laura Russo

Honorable mention:

BEST PLACE TO SEE FREE MUSIC

Editors’ pick: Gaytheist

Winner:

LAURELTHIRST PUBLIC HOUSE 2958 NE Glisan St. / 232-1504 laurelthirst.com

Between its impressive daily live music oﬀerings, 18 tap handles and varied clientele, this eastside watering hole is far more than just a punny name.

Gaytheist gaytheist.net Black Pussy facebook.com/lessinfomoremojo

BEST SPOKEN WORD/ STORYTELLER Winner:

B. FRAYN MASTERS backfencepdx.com

This Angeleno brought some stories with her to Portland. Now she hosts and produces Back Fence PDX to CONT. on page 52

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

bring local storytellers to the stage in packed houses. The only rules: No lies, no notes and no memorization. Runner-up:

Kevin Sampsell kevinsampsell.com Honorable mention:

Elliott Resnick

BEST VISUAL ARTIST Winner:

mOna suPerherO monasuperhero.com

An artist who works exclusively in the field of duct tape, Mona Superhero’s work has popped up in many places, including a cover of Willamette Week last fall. Runner-up

Sienna Morris fleetingstates.com Honorable mention:

Annie Murphy ghostcatcomics.blogspot.com

BEST ANIMAL RESCUE

Runner-up:

Tom Dwyer Automotive 530 SE Tenino St. / 230-2300 tomdwyer.com Honorable mention:

Green Drop Garage 1417 SE 9th Ave. / 236-7767 greendropgarage.com Editors’ pick: Jay’s Garage

Multiple locations. onpointcu.com

Runner-up:

Pixie Project 510 NE Martin Luther King Jr Blvd. / 542-3432 pixieproject.org Honorable mention:

CAT 14175 SW Galbreath Drive, Sherwood / 925-8903 catadoptionteam.org

BEST AUTO REPAIR Winner:

hawthOrne autO CliniC

4307 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 234-2119 hawthorneauto.com An auto shop that guarantees same-day service for most car troubles, gives you TriMet passes for those hours when you are carless and comments on your Yelp review of the shop, whether you want it to or not.

Multiple locations. moonstruckchocolate.com

Umpqua Multiple locations. umpquabank.com

Alma 140 NE 28th Ave. / 517-0262 almachocolate.com

Honorable Mention:

Honorable mention:

Advantis Multiple locations. advantiscu.org

Missionary Chocolates 2712 NE Glisan St. / 206-8439 missionarychocolates.com

BEST BOOKSTORE

BEST CLOTHING RESALE STORE

Editors’ pick: Mother Foucault’s

BEST BOTTLE SHOP Winner:

BelmOnt statiOn

4500 SE Stark St. / 232-8538 belmont-station.com 1,200-plus bottles of beer on the wall; 1,200-plus bottles of beer. Take one down, pass it around: 1,200-plus bottles of beer left on the wall. (Also over 20 beers on tap.) Runner-up:

Beermongers 1125 SE Division St. / 234-6012 thebeermongers.com Honorable mention:

Imperial Bottle Shop and Taproom 3090 SE Division St. / 971-302-6899 imperialbottleshop.com

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Runner-up:

Fubonn 2850 SE 82nd Ave. / 517-8899 fubonn.com Honorable mention:

Winner

Multiple locations. ivebeenframedpdx.com

Bob Brisack was not an artist when he created what is now I’ve Been Framed decades ago. He still isn’t—and his son Rob runs the store now—but that didn’t stop him from making one of the city’s more diverse selections of frames and art supplies, both salvaged and new. Runner-up:

Beard’s Framing Multiple locations. beards.com Honorable mention

Luke’s Frame Shop 2707 SE Belmont St. / 845-6090 lukesframeshop.com

BEST FURNITURE STORE Winner:

lOunge lizard

Barbur World Foods 9845 SW Barbur Blvd. / 244-0670 worldfoodsportland.com

1310 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 232-7575 facebook.com/LoungeLizardVintageFurniture

Editors’ pick: Fubonn

This Southeast shop with an exceptional collection of moderately priced—and sometimes unique!—vintage furniture narrowly edged out Ikea and its vote-inducing Swedish meatballs. So good on you, WW readers.

BEST FLOWER SHOP

Runner-up:

Ikea Multiple locations. ikea.com

Sure, Buffalo Exchange is a national chain, but its goods are locally sourced and it usually has some quirky T-shirts and good finds for the dedicated vintage shopper.

Honorable mention:

City Liquidators 823 SE 3rd Ave. / 230-7716 cityliquidators.com Editors’ pick: Hawthorne Vintage

Runner-up:

Winner:

BEST GARDEN SUPPLY/ NURSERY

Honorable mention:

2280 NW Glisan St. / 222-9759 sammysflowers.com

Winner:

Multiple locations. portlandnursery.com

Editors’ pick: Goodwill, 1943 SE 6th Ave.

Sammy’s has been brightening the city’s days, adding vibrancy to its weddings, and helping Portlanders get laid with its wide selection and same-day flower delivery for over 20 years.

Goodwill Multiple locations. meetgoodwill.org Rerun 707 NE Fremont St. / 517-3786 portlandrerun.com

BEST DOGGIE DAYCARE Winner:

Virginia wOOf

1520 W Burnside St. / 224-5455 virginiawoof.com

sammy’s flOwers

Runner-up:

New Seasons Market Multiple locations. newseasonsmarket.com Honorable mention:

Virginia Woof, Portland’s punniest doggie daycare, accepts applications from only the finest, most upstanding, vaccinated, spayed or neutered canines in the city.

Solabee 902 SW Morrison St. / 307-2758 solabeeflowers.com

Runner-up:

Winner:

Sniff Dog Hotel 1828 NW Raleigh St. / 208-2366 sniffdoghotel.com Honorable mention:

Lexi Dog Multiple locations. lexidog.com

BEST EYEGLASS SHOP 2300 NE Broadway / 284-2300 eyesonbroadway.com

Portland’s oldest, most storied and, per WW readers, best record store is looking to add a bar and cafe for shoppers looking for rare finds amid

Much like Fubonn, its larger cousin in Southeast Portland, Uwajimaya is an Asian foods mega-market. Row upon row of pho fixings, various chili pastes, Japanese candies, fresh seafood and produce, beer and sake make for a colorful, whirlwind shopping experience.

Multiple locations. buffaloexchange.com

BEST CD/RECORD STORE 3158 E Burnside St. / 231-8926 musicmillennium.com

10500 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway / 643-4512 uwajimaya.com

BuffalO exChange

Winner:

musiC millennium

uwajimaya

Winner:

Editors’ pick: John’s Marketplace

Winner:

Runner-up:

Reading Frenzy 3628 N Mississippi Ave. / 971-271-8044 readingfrenzy.com

i’Ve Been framed

Blink 2719 SE 21st Ave. / 546-2565 blinkpdx.com

Winner:

Runner-up:

Honorable mention:

Honorable mention

Editors’ pick: Mississippi Records

Founded in 1993, Moonstruck is a chocolatier dedicated to making fine, handcrafted chocolate with locally sourced ingredients. By which we mean, they make chocolate with Oregon liquor.

Annie Bloom’s 7834 SW Capitol Highway / 246-0053 annieblooms.com

BEST FRAME SHOP

BEST ETHNIC MARKET

What began as the Portland Teachers Credit Union over 80 years ago is now the largest community-owned financial institution in the state.

Runner-up:

Multipe locations. pdxeyes.com

Mississippi Records 5202 N Albina Ave. / 282-2990

mOOnstruCk ChOCOlate

OnPOint COmmunity Credit

The largest independent new and used bookstore in the world is both a tourist destination and a hub for locals. Whether you’re looking for a best-seller or an out-of-print Forgotten Realms novel, odds are you’ll find it here.

“End Petlessness” is the rallying cry of this nonprofit that helps 11,000 pets each and every year. One of BOP’s top 3 overall vote-getters.

Honorable mention:

Winner:

1005 W Burnside St. / 228-4651 powells.com

1067 NE Columbia Blvd. / 285-7722 oregonhumane.org

Everyday Music Multiple locations. everydaymusic.com

BEST CHOCOLATIER

POwell’s City Of BOOks

OregOn humane sOCiety

Runner-up:

BEST BANK/CREDIT UNION

Winner:

its vast collection of vinyl.

eyes On BrOadway

Eyes on Broadway separates itself from the pack with comprehensive eye care, six days a week. Plus, they’re really friendly and have a long history of giving back to the community via support for nonprofits. Runner Up:

Myoptic

BEST FARMERS MARKET Psu farmers market

Southwest Park Avenue and Montgomery Street portlandfarmersmarket.org/ourmarkets/psu/ It seems only fitting that the state’s largest urban college plays host to a bustling farmers market. Grab a hot Italian sausage from Salumeria di Carlo and wander about these packed park blocks. Runner-up:

Hollywood Farmers Market 4420 NE Hancock St. / 709-7403 hollywoodfarmersmarket.org Honorable mention:

Woodstock Farmers Market 4600 SE Woodstock Blvd. / 771-6731 woodstockmarketpdx.com Editors’ pick: Lents International Farmers Market

POrtland nursery In the “no-brainer” department, Portland Nursery is everyone’s go-to for yard bling. Its selection of healthy plants, trees, and all manner of fresh foliage is a mecca for Rose City green thumbs. Runner-up:

Al’s Garden Center Multiple locations. als-gardencenter.com Honorable mention:

Garden Fever 3433 NE 24th Ave. / 287-3200 gardenfever.com Editors’ pick: Portland Nursery

BEST GROCERY STORE Winner:

new seasOns market Multiple locations. newseasonsmarket.com

This Raleigh Hills-born, eco-conscious grocer has an excellent beer selection, a vast array of locally sourced goods and a butcher that earned an honorable mention in the Best Meat Counter category. Runner-up:

Trader Joe’s Multiple locations. traderjoes.com Honorable mention:

Fred Meyer Multiple locations. fredmeyer.com Editors’ pick: Barbur World Foods

BEST HOTEL Winner:

ACE

1022 SW Stark St. / 228-2277 acehotel.com/portland From the claw foot tubs to the old analog TVs with Nintendo, Portland’s Ace rivals any property in the everexpanding hotel empire. Plus, Clyde Common, right oﬀ the lobby, is a hell of a spot to send friends from out of town for dinner and drinks. Runner-up:

Hotel deLuxe 729 SW 15th Ave. / 219-2094 hoteldeluxeportland.com Honorable mention:

Hotel Monaco 506 SW Washington St. / 222-0001 monaco-portland.com Editors’ pick: Hotel Lucia

BEST JEWELRY STORE

of leather clothes and riding gear— although there is plenty of that—it’s in the large array of tools for the leather hobbyist also for sale. Runner-up:

Tanner Goods 1308 W Burnside St. / 222-2774 tannergoods.com Honorable mention:

Orox Leather Co. 450 NW Couch St. / 954-2593 oroxleather.com

BEST MEAT COUNTER Winner:

GARTNER’S COUNTRY MEAT MARKET

7450 NE Killingsworth St. / 252-7801 gartnersmeats.com Gartner’s is the kind of butcher where the meat case stretches across nearly the entire building. It gets packed—it can feel like a DMV at times—but the wait is always worth it. Runner-up:

Laurelhurst Market & Butcher Shop 3155 E Burnside St. / 206-3097 laurelhurstmarket.com Honorable mention:

New Seasons Market Multiple locations. newseasonsmarket.com Editors’ pick: Gartner’s Country Meat Market

Winner:

GILT

720 NW 23rd Ave. / 226-0629 giltjewelry.com Gilt boasts one of the larger collections of locally curated jewelry in the Paciﬁc Northwest, with an emphasis on vintage engagement rings and estate wedding bands. For 20 years, this boutique has been bringing the bling. Runner-up:

betsy + iya 2403 NW Thurman St. / 227-5482 betsyandiya.com Honorable Mention:

Gold Door 1434 SE 37th Ave. / 232-6069 thegolddoor.com

BEST KITCHEN STORE Winner:

KITCHEN KABOODLE Multiple locations. kitchenkaboodle.com

Portland’s Kitchen Kaboodle isn’t like most kitchen supply stores. It sells similar wares, to be sure, but it also runs Nespresso cup recycling programs and proudly displays employee-drawn sidewalk signs with Neil Diamond imploring people to shop locally. Runner-up:

Mirador 2106 SE Division St. / 231-5175 miradorkitchenandhome.com Honorable mention:

Portland Homestead Supply 8012 SE 13th Ave. / 233-8691 homesteadsupplyco.com Editors’ pick: Rose’s Equipment & Supply

BEST LEATHER GOODS Winner:

OREGON LEATHER COMPANY

110 NW 2nd Ave. / 228-4105 oregonleatherco.com The appeal of Oregon Leather Company isn’t just the nice selection

BEST MEN’S BOUTIQUE Winner:

BOYS FORT

902 SW Morrison St. / 567-1015 boysfort.com The eclectically curated, self-professed “manthropology” boutique is catered towards the manchild in all of us, be it a “BOYS TOWN” badge or a collection of pinned and framed butterﬂies. Runner-up:

Threads Count 1536 NW 23rd Ave. / 224-0506 threadscount.us Honorable mention:

Mario’s Multiple locations. marios.com

breathtaking 70mm projection. Whatever it is, we in Portland are lucky to have the Hollywood.

is helping recent transplants ﬁnd a place to live through their tenant relocation services.

Runner-up:

Honorable mention:

Living Room Theaters 341 SW 10th Ave. / 971-222-2010 livingroomtheaters.com Laurelhurst Theater 2735 E Burnside St. / 232-5511 laurelhursttheater.com Editors’ pick: Living Room Theaters

BEST MUSICAL INSTRUMENT STORE Winner:

TRADE UP MUSIC Multiple locations. tradeupmusic.com

Sell your old guitbox, buy a new one or maybe trade it in for a diﬀerent, better ax—trade up, if you will— at one of Trade Up’s two Portland locations. Maybe sign up for some uke lessons while you’re at it. Runner-up:

Portland Music Co. Multiple locations. portlandmusiccompany.com Honorable mention:

Artichoke Music 3130 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 232-8845 artichokemusic.org

BEST PET STORE Winner

PETS ON BROADWAY

2762 NE Broadway / 282-5824 petsonbroadway.com Portland’s largest independent pet store doesn’t sell dogs or cats, but it’s got everything to keep your buddies happy and healthy. Hedgehog instead of a dog? Pets on Broadway’s got you covered there, too. Runner-up:

Healthy Pets Northwest Multiple locations. healthypetsnw.com Honorable mention:

Meat for Dogs and Cats 2244 E Burnside St. / 236-6971 meatforcatsanddogs.com

BEST MOTORCYCLE

BEST REAL ESTATE AGENT

Winner

Winner:

BEST SMOKE SHOP Winner:

RICH’S CIGAR STORE

820 SW Alder St. / 228-1700 richscigarstore.com

Think Real Estate 2923 NE Broadway / 847-2722 think-portland.com

In an era when more and more people are vaping or smoking newly legal weed, WW readers went with a throwback for Best Smoke Shop: Rich’s Cigars & Magazines, with its well-stocked humidor and ornate tobacco pipes.

Urban Nest Realty Multiple locations. / 432-8126 urbannestpdx.com

BEST SEX TOY STORE

Runner-up:

Winner:

Third Eye Shoppe 3950 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 232-3393 3rdeyeshoppe.com

SHE BOP

Multiple locations. sheboptheshop.com This sex-positive, female-friendly, all-inclusive sex shop draws its name from Cyndi Lauper’s ode to sex and masturbation because she bop, he bop and we bop. Runner-up:

Spartacus Leathers 300 SW 12th Ave. / 224-2604 spartacusleathers.com

Honorable mention:

Mary Jane’s House of Glass Multiple locations. maryjaneshouseofglass.net

BEST SUMMER CAMP Winner:

ROCK ‘N’ ROLL CAMP FOR GIRLS

Honorable mention:

5340 N Interstate Ave. / 445-4991 girlsrockcamp.org

Fantacy Multiple locations fantacyforadultsonly.com

This camp is about more than just teaching girls how to rock out—though there’s a LOT of rock happening, to be sure—it’s about building self-esteem and giving girls a voice in this male-dominated (and oft misogynistic) genre.

Editors’ pick: She Bop

BEST SKATE SHOP Winner:

CAL SKATE

210 NW 6th Ave. / 248-0495 calsk8.com

Runner-up:

Founded in 1976, Cal Skate Skateboards is the oldest skate shop on the planet. Or at least in Portland. It is rumored that a baby Tony Hawk spontaneously appeared on its doorstep. Runner-up:

Trackers Earth 4617 SE Milwaukie Ave. / 345-3312 trackerspdx.com Honorable mention:

OMSI Camps and Classes Locations vary. http://programs.omsi.edu/campsand-classes

Rip City Skate 3213 NE Sandy Blvd. / 208-3793 ripcityboardshop.com

BEST TATTOO ARTIST

Honorable mention:

CHEYENNE SAWYER

Winner:

Daddies Board Shop 5909 NE 80th Ave. / 281-5123 daddiesboardshop.com

Sawyer has been honing his signature style—a blend of traditional tattoo work, naturalistic images and Native American iconography with vibrant colors—for over 20 years in Portland. Currently at Atlas Tattoo.

BEST SHOE STORE

Runner-up:

Alice Kendall Wonderland Tattoo

SEE SEE MOTORCYCLES

HEATHER LAMKINS

Honorable mention:

1642 NE Sandy Blvd. / 894-9566 seeseemotorcycles.com

971-255-9868 teamlamkins@gmail.com

This combination motorcycle accessory-coffee shop is both the Best Motorcycle Shop in Portland and the Most Portland Motorcycle Shop in Portland. Damned fine lattes, no motorcycles. Further proof that this is an unscientific poll.

Heather Lamkins is a wardrobe stylist and thrift-store treasure hunter with a BFA-turned-principal real estate broker for Portland’s Think Real Estate.

BEST TATTOO SHOP

Runner-up:

Latus Harley Davidson 870 E Berkeley St., Gladstone / 249-8653 latus-hd.com Honorable mention:

MotoCorsa 2170 NW Wilson St. / 292-7488 motocorsa.com

BEST MOVIE THEATER Winner:

HOLLYWOOD THEATRE 4122 NE Sandy Blvd. / 493-1128 hollywoodtheatre.org

Maybe it’s the ornate 1920s era architecture. Or maybe it’s the beer. Or maybe it’s the recently installed,

Runner-up:

Beth Kellan 6443 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway / 525-6684 bethkellan.com Honorable mention:

Rachel Freed 432-8126 urbannestpdx.com/rachel-freed/

BEST REALTOR (COMPANY) Winner:

LIVING ROOM REALTY Multiple locations. / 719-5588 livingroomre.com

Living Room Realty is an agency dealing in properties ranging from just under $300,000 to nearly $2 million, but one of its best services

Alice Carrier Wonderland Tattoo

Winner:

ATLAS TATTOO

Winner:

IMELDA’S SHOES AND LOUIE’S SHOES FOR MEN

3426 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 233-7476 imeldas.com Looking for some two-toned Cushe Shakras? Maybe some Birkenstocks? Or how about a pair of good, oldfashioned walnut oxfords? You’ll ﬁnd them somewhere around Imelda’s crowded ﬂoor of designer footwear. Runner-up:

Clogs-N-More 6809 SE Milwaukie Ave. / 233-4146 clogsnmore.com

4543 N Albina Ave. / 281-7499 www.atlastattoo.com Best Tattoo Artist Cheyenne Sawyer works here along with other noted Portland tattooers to form an all-star crew. You’ll need to schedule an appointment way in advance or be prepared to wait in line for a walk-in on Sundays. Runner-up:

Wonderland Tattoo 7036 SE 52nd Ave. / 971-254-4352 CONT. on page 54

Honorable mention:

pedX Shoes 2005 NE Alberta St. / 460-0760 pedxshoes.com

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

wonderlandpdx.com Honorable mention:

Oddball Tattoo 2716 SE 21st Ave. / 231-1344 oddballstudios.com

BEST TOY STORE Winner:

Finnegan’s Toys and giFTs

820 SW Washington St. / 221-0306 www.finneganstoys.com Train sets, Lego, a copy of the Punk Rock Writers Journal, a three-story dollhouse with a solar paneled roof…if you’re not careful, your inner child might just get lost in the rows upon rows of colorful boxes at the largest independent toy store in the Pacific Northwest. Runner-up:

Thinker Toys 7784 SW Capitol Highway / 245-3936 thinkertoysoregon.com

BEST VETERINARY PRACTICE Winner:

mT. TaBor VeTerinary care 4246 SE Belmont St. / 200-5555 mttaborvetcare.com

Let’s be real here: Nobody likes going to the vet. But Mt. Tabor makes it as pleasant as it can be for all parties involved, be it covering medications in Easy Cheese for the dog or a cup of French press coffee for you. Runner-up:

Rose City Veterinary Hospital 809 SE Powell Blvd. / 232-3105 rosecityvet.com Honorable mention:

Fremont Veterinary Clinic 5055 NE Fremont St. / 282-0991 fremontvet.com Editors’ pick: Broadway Veterinary Clinic

Honorable mention:

Kid at Heart Toys 3445 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 231-2954 kidsathearttoys.com

BEST ACUPUNCTURIST

Editors’ pick: Finnegan’s Toys and Gifts

Winner:

BEST WINE SHOP Winner:

BlackBird Wine shop 4323 NE Fremont St. / 282-1887 blackbirdwine.com

Wine is often paired with cheese. It is, however, not often paired with “Atomic” cheese as it is at Blackbird. Owner Andy Diaz is also one of the few wine connoisseurs who genuinely loves rosés, leading to an impressive selection. Runner-up:

Vino 137 SE 28th Ave. / 235-8485 vinobuys.com Honorable mention:

Division Wines 3564 SE Division St. / 234-7281 divisionwines.com

Working class acupuncTure

Multiple locations. workingclassacupuncture.org Working Class’ mission is to make this ancient Chinese treatment available and affordable to everyone. Acupuncture treatments are on a sliding scale of $15-$35, depending on what you feel comfortable paying. Runner-up:

Colleen Donnelly Acupuncture 10490 SW Eastridge St. / 705-1812 portlandacupuncturenow.com Honorable mention:

Caveman Medicine 939-9592 cavemanmedicine.net

BEST BARBERSHOP

paloma cloThing

XtaBay 2515 SE Clinton St. / 230-2899 xtabayvintage.com

Bridgetown Chiropractic Multiple locations. / 490-5647 bridgetownchiropractic.com

BEST CROSSFIT Winner:

crossFiT503

6050 SW Macadam Ave. / 564-8708 crossfit503.com

Bishops

Multiple locations. bishopsbs.com By winning both Best Barbershop and Best Hair Salon, Bishops has staked its claim as Portland’s go-to hair place. Runner-up:

Modern Man Multiple locations. themodernmanpdx.com Honorable mention:

Honorable mention:

New Vintage Beauty Lounge 3864 N Mississippi Ave. / 327-8442 newvintagebeautylounge.com

BEST MASSAGE Winner:

classic Body resToraTion

Honorable mention:

Planet Granite 1405 NW 14th Ave. / 477-5666 planetgranite.com Editors’ pick: Planet Granite

BEST WAXING SALON

From the Greco-Roman statue on the logo to its deceptively strong masseurs, Classic Body Restoration promises that this experience will be anything but another froufrou massage.

Multiple locations. urbanwaxx.com

Runner-up:

The DragonTree Holistic Day Spa 2768 NW Thurman St. / 221-4123 thedragontree.com

CrossFit Portland 418 NE 8th Ave. / 939-4839 crossfitportland.com Honorable mention:

Runner-up:

Honorable mention:

Crossfit X Factor 2202 NW Roosevelt St. / 830-9700 crossfitxfactor.com

Blooming Moon Wellness Spa 1920 N Killingsworth St. / 971-279-2757 bloomingmoonspa.com

BEST DENTIST

BEST NATUROPATH

Winner:

laurelhursT denTisTry 2520 E Burnside St. / 233-3622 laurelhurstdentistry.com

Picking the best in a category that you hope to only visit once or twice a year can be difficult. However, Laurelhurst Dentistry ended up with as many votes as the runner-up and honorable mention combined, likely due to its friendly staff, state-of-theart technology and policy of being up-front about costs. Runner-up:

Willamette Dental Multiple locations. / 855-433-6825 willamettedental.com

When it comes to determining the best gym, convenience might be the single most important factor. Or at least, that’s how we’re rationalizing WW readers picking the largest gym and fitness center chain in the world as Portland’s best gym. Runner-up:

Vive Fitness 4023 NE Hancock St. vivefitnesspdx.com Honorable mention:

Loprinzi’s 2414 SE 41st Ave. / 232-8311 loprinzisgym.com

dr. suzanne scopes

316 NE 28th Ave. / 230-0812 drscopesnaturalhealthcare.com Dr. Scopes is interested in more than just helping people get healthier. She’s about helping people be more comfortable in their own skin, be they clients or the people she works with while volunteering at Outside In’s transgender services.

Runner-up:

Sugar Me 1313 NE Fremont St. / 287-4901 sugarmeportland.com Honorable mention:

Wax On Spa Multiple locations. waxon.com Editors’ pick: Sugar Me

BEST YOGA STUDIO

Honorable mention:

Bloom Natural Healthcare 125 NE Killingsworth St. / 223-3741 bloomnaturalhealthcare.com

BEST PILATES STUDIO Winner:

paciFic nW pilaTes

5201 SW Westgate Drive / 292-4409 pacificnwpilates.com Pacific NW Pilates is where aspiring Pilates instructors go to gain certification and where savvy Portland Pilates enthusiasts go to get a solid workout in refreshingly small, intimate classes. Runner-up:

barre3 Multiple locations. barre3.com Honorable mention:

Studio Blue Pilates Multiple locations. studiobluepdx.com Editors’ pick: Studio Blue Pilates

BEST ROCK GYM Winner:

BEST CHIROPRACTOR

Winner:

Multiple locations. bishopsbs.com In true Portland fashion, WW readers pick the place that’ll give you a

Summer’s here, and Portlanders are showing more skin all around. Whether you want to reshape your eyebrows or get your Speedo zone cleaned up before the Big Float, the all-female staffed Urban Waxx is here to help with your unsightly body hair.

Satya Ambrose, ND 16144 SE Happy Valley Town Center Drive, Happy Valley / 658-7715 sunnysidecocare.com

BEST HAIR SALON Bishops

urBan Waxx

Runner-up:

Editors’ pick: Loprinzi’s

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Portland Rock Gym 21 NE 12th Ave. / 232-8310 portlandrockgym.com

Looking to get swoll in the 503? More ripped than you’ve ever been? To become the physical manifestation of Shreddie Van Halen? That’s what cross fit, and more specifically, CrossFit503 is all about.

Rudy’s Barbershop Multiple locations. rudysbarbershop.com

522 NW 12th Ave. / 227-2886 pdxdc.net

Runner-up:

Winner:

Literally everywhere. 24hourfitness.com

Winner:

Runner-up:

ing metro area, the Circuit is for Portlanders eager to climb up, down and around different rock faces without leaving city limits. It’s family-friendly enough to get your kids hooked, too.

107 SE Washington St. / 239-2639 cbrpdx.com

24 hour FiTness

peTer e. leiTner

Honorable mention:

Winner

6316 SW Capitol Highway / 246-3417 palomaclothing.com

Honorable mention:

Aveda Institute 325 NW 13th Ave. / 294-6000 avedapdx.com

Portland Chiropractic Group 2031 E Burnside St. / 224-2100 portlandchiropracticgroup.com

BEST GYM

Winner:

Sloan Boutique Multiple locations. sloanpdx.com

Runner-up:

Gentle Dental Multiple locations. gentle1.com

BEST WOMEN’S BOUTIQUE

Runner-up:

beer—a Session lager, in this case— while your friendly stylist touches up your undercut or turns your Audrey Hepburn purple.

Honorable mention:

Editors’ pick: Liner & Elsen

The majority of the clothing lines carried in this Hillsdale boutique are made in the U.S. using eco-friendly means. Paloma Clothing’s friendliness is not limited to the ecosystem, mind you, it also mails thank you cards to its reliable customers.

Leitner combines a deep understanding of therapeutic massage and Jungian psychology to improve clients’ health and mental well-being at his practice in the Pearl.

The circuiT Bouldering gym Multiple locations. thecircuitgym.com

With three locations sprinkled throughout the city and surround-

Winner:

people’s yoga Multiple locations. thepeoplesyoga.org

Yoga is more than an exercise, it’s a way of life for many Portlanders. Unfortunately, as anyone who has signed up for Bikram classes knows, it can be pricey. People’s Yoga was created to make yoga affordable and accessible to the people. Runner-up:

Yo Yo Yogi 1306 NW Hoyt St. / 688-5120 yoyoyogi.com Honorable mention:

Yoga Shala of Portland 3808 N Williams Ave. / 963-9642 yogashalapdx.com Editors’ pick: Yo Yo Yogi

BEST BAR

cash-only suds shop on Division has 50 delicious, sometimes rare craft brews on tap and also features one of our finer tap house patios.

bly mac and cheese, salty deviled eggs, crispy wings and a notoriously heavy-handed bar staff make for a brilliant happy hour indeed.

Winner:

Runner-up:

White oWl SoCial Club 1305 SE 8th Ave. / 236-9672 whiteowlsocialclub.com

Whether you’re looking to have some s’mores by the fire pit or maybe just kick back and a have beer with your best friend on this expansive, dog-friendly patio, White owl Social club is Portland’s favorite place to socialize and imbibe this summer. Runner-up:

Rum Club 720 SE Sandy Blvd. / 265-8807 rumclubpdx.com Honorable mention:

Victory 3652 SE Division St. / 236-8755 thevictorybar.com Editors’ pick: Stammtisch

BEST COCKTAIL LOUNGE Winner:

SeCret SoCiety

116 NE Russell St. / 493-3600 secretsociety.net the decor and accoutrements in this converted 1907 Victorian house take one back to a simpler, more elegant time when well-todo oregonians ducked into secret lounges to get liquored up. Runner-up:

Rum Club 720 SE Sandy Blvd. / 265-8807 rumclubpdx.com Honorable mention:

The Teardrop Lounge 1015 NW Everett St. / 445-8109 teardroplounge.com Editors’ pick: Expatriate

BEST BARTENDER Winner:

aMy SnyDer (DeVilS point) Amy Snyder is many things. She’s a fashion designer. She’s a go-go dancer. She’s also just been voted the best bartender in Portland! Roll on up to Devils Point and find out what she’s slinging tonight! Runner-up:

Tony (Gladstone Street Pub) Honorable mention:

Jeffrey Morgenthaler (Clyde Common)

BEST BEER SELECTION ON TAP

Green Dragon 928 SE 9th Ave. / 517-0660 pdxgreendragon.com Honorable mention:

Bailey’s Taproom 213 SW Broadway / 295-1004 baileystaproom.com

Honorable mention:

Bartini 2108 NW Glisan St. / 224-7919 bartinipdx.com

Runner-up:

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. / 239-9292 thegoodfoot.com

Editors’ pick: Holocene

Winner:

5008 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 232-6333 thesapphirehotel.com

2112 NW Hoyt St. / 303-8220 voiceboxpdx.com

BEST PLACE TO PLAY DARTS

the deep red walls and dim lighting make the Sapphire Hotel an intimate setting for dates, with the ghost of its lusty past as a brothel hanging in the air. nice food and fresh cocktails all add up to brownchicken-brown-cow. Runner-up:

Runner-up:

Secret Society 116 NE Russell St. / 493-3600 secretsociety.net

Chopsticks Express Multiple locations. chopstickskaraoke.com

Honorable mention:

Editors’ pick: Driftwood Room

Editors’ pick: chopsticks Express

Gold Dust Meridian 3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 239-1143 golddustmeridian.com

BEST DIVE BAR Winner:

Club 21

2035 NE Glisan St. / 235-5690 club 21 is the rare dive bar that looks a ski lodge on the interior and a wizard’s hut on the outside. this bar, one of Portland’s favorite watering holes since 1958, has a healthy mix of punk rock, cheap beer and pinball. Like all dives should. Runner-up:

Low Brow Lounge 1036 NW Hoyt St. / 226-0200 facebook.com/lowbrowlounge Honorable mention

‘Reel M’ Inn 2430 SE Division St. / 231-3880 Editors’ pick: B-Side tavern

BEST DJ Winner:

DJ WiCkeD

justplainterror.com Kirk Kirkpatrick, stage name DJ Wicked, is a member of the old guard of Portland hip-hop. the fiercely independent vinyl purist has been spinning in this town for over two decades, and joins cool nutz as two of the city’s underground stalwarts walking away with hardware this year. Cooky Parker facebook.com/pages/DJ-CookyParker Honorable mention:

DJ Gregarious djgregarious.com

BEST HAPPY HOUR Winner:

Winner:

1216 SE Division St. / 273-9227 apexbar.com

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 239-1143 golddustmeridian.com

A lot of places in Portland have 20 fantastic beers on tap. Some even have 30. And then there’s Apex. this

At the GDM, happy hour runs from 2 pm until 8 pm every day of the week. that’s 42 hours of good times. Bub-

GolD DuSt MeriDian

Alibi 4024 N Interstate Ave. / 287-5335 alibiportland.com

BEST LGBT BAR Winner:

CruSh

1400 SE Morrison St. / 235-8150 crushbar.com From the monthly Bi Bar event to the three different gendered bathrooms, crush aims to be friendly and welcoming to all patrons. You’re going to meet a lot of different people here. You’re also going to have a blast. Runner-up:

CC Slaughter’s 219 NW Davis St. / 248-9135 ccslaughterspdx.com

C Bar 2880 SE Gladstone St. / 230-8808 cbarportland.com Honorable mention:

Goodfoot Lounge 2845 SE Stark St. / 239-9292 thegoodfoot.com Editors’ pick: c Bar

BEST PLACE TO SHOOT POOL

Winner

horSe braSS pub

Winner:

GooDfoot lounGe

4534 SE Belmont St. / 232-2202 horsebrass.com It’s only natural that the city’s Best Irish Pub and maker of BoP-winning fish and chips also has a killer darts setup. Snag a Guinness—or maybe a better beer—and challenge a stranger to a round of cricket, even if you’re only going to add more dents to the wall. Runner-up:

Honorable mention

Lucky Labrador Multiple locations. luckylab.com

Honorable mention:

Rialto Poolroom Bar & Cafe 529 SW 4th Ave. / 228-7605 rialtopoolroom.com

Editors’ pick: Horse Brass Pub

BEST PLACE TO PLAY PINGPONG

Editors’ pick: claudia’s Sports Pub & Grill

BEST SPORTS BAR

Winner:

pipS & bounCe

Spirit of 77

833 SE Belmont St. / 928-4664 pipsandbounce.com

Editors’ pick: Stag

Runner-up:

Winner:

the liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St. / 754.7782 theliquorstorepdx.com Willamette Week’s runner-up for best bar in this year’s Bar Guide walks away with the readers’ pick for Portland’s Best new Bar. Might be time to go and see for yourself. Runner-up:

10 Barrel Brewery 1411 NW Flanders St. / 224-1700 10barrel.com Honorable mention:

Jackknife 614 SW 11th Ave. jackknifepdx.com Editors’ pick: the Liquor Store

The Nest 2715 SE Belmont St. / 764-9023

Editors’ pick: claudia’s Sports Pub & Grill

Gil’S SpeakeaSy taVern 609 SE Taylor St. / 234-8991 gils-speakeasy.com

BEST STRIP CLUB Winner:

SaSSy’S

Shuffleboard is no longer only the sport of septuagenarians on cruise ships. With its crowded floors, greasy snacks and affordable beer, Gil’s Speakeasy has all the necessary components for a great shuffleboard experience.

Honorable mention:

1001 SE Morrison St. / 239-7639 holocene.org

Claudia’s Sports Pub & Grill 3006 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 232-1744 claudiaspub.com

Winner:

holoCene

Honorable mention:

BEST PLACE TO PLAY SHUFFLEBOARD

BEST PLACE TO DANCE

this hallowed Blazers bar is named after the greatest moment in Portland’s athletic city, an all-too-welcome reminder after this offseason of attrition. Also, beer, pop-a-shot, and epic nachos. Blitz Multiple locations. blitzsportspubs.com

Honorable mention:

Life of Riley Tavern 300 NW 10th Ave. / 224-1680 lifeofrileytavern.com

500 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. / 232-9977 spiritof77bar.com

Runner-up:

Rontoms 600 E Burnside St. / 236-4536

Runner-up:

Goodfoot is a bustling bar and music venue, but savvy Portlanders also flock here for its cheap—and often free—pool. Dancing with a pool cue in one hand and a beverage in the other is highly encouraged. Sam’s Billiards 1845 NE 41st Ave. / 282-8266 portlandpoolhall.com

Temporary Lesbian Bar @ Mississippi Pizza 3552 N Mississippi Ave. / 288-3231 mississippipizza.com

BEST NEW BAR

2845 SE Stark St. / 239-9292 thegoodfoot.com

Runner-up:

The Moon and Sixpence 2014 NE 42nd Ave. / 288-7802

After a few years of bouncing around with pop up pingpong parties, Michael and Eugene Jung finally opened up this pingpong playground in Belmont. WW readers approve of the pingpong and drinks business model.

Honorable mention:

511 NW Couch St. / 796-9364 groundkontrol.com

Runner-up:

BEST KARAOKE

Some karaoke places put singers on a stage. others have them singing on the floor with the lay people. Voicebox has a more intimate solution: private suites. You can sing with just your friends, loved ones and people who won’t mind you belting out “Let It Go” one or two more times.

GrounD kontrol

Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside St. / 225-0047 mcmenamins.com/CrystalBallroom

BEST DATE BAR

VoiCebox karaoke

Winner

Honorable mention:

Editors’ pick: Aalto Lounge

Sapphire hotel

BEST PLACE TO PLAY PINBALL

Pinball machines are more than a way to have a good time, they’re collectors’ items, windows into a forgotten time. At least, that’s what you’ll feel as you wander around the ’80s- and ’90s-themed collection on the second floor at Ground Kontrol.

Editors’ pick: Bailey’s taproom

Runner-up:

apex

Aalto Lounge 3356 SE Belmont St. / 235-6041 aaltolounge.com

this sprawling eastside warehouse is Portland’s unquestioned champion of the clubbing and EDM scenes. It’s definitely for the cool kids, but is welcoming and fun for all—don’t be intimidated to get down.

927 SE Morrison St. / 231-1606 sassysbar.com Somewhere between watching the acrobatic maneuvers of a heavily tattooed dancer and sipping on one of the 30 craft beers on tap, you’ll cont. on page 56

Blitz Multiple locations. blitzsportspubs.com Editors’ pick: there Be Monsters

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

realize that Sassy’s isn’t just the best strip club in town. It’s one of Portland’s best bars period. Runner-up:

Devils Point 5305 SE Foster Road / 774-4513 devilspoint.net Honorable mention:

Casa Diablo 2839 NW St. Helens Road / 222-6600 casadiablo.com Editors’ pick: Sassy’s

BEST STRIPPER Winner:

PIXIE

Devils Point Portland’s most popular stripper graces the stage at Devils Point, long known for especially acrobatic dancers. We weren’t able to catch Pixie in person before press time, but it’s safe to say she knows her way around a pole. Runner-up:

Elle Lucky Devil Honorable mention:

Sasha Meow

BEST TRIVIA NIGHT Winner:

GEEKS WHO DRINK

All over town / 303-532-4737 facebook.com/GeeksPDX Geeks Who Drink is a Denverbased company predicated on a revolutionary concept: Smart people like to get drunk and prove it. Visit its Facebook page for a full list of bars and events. Runner-up:

Quizissippi @ Mississippi Pizza 3552 N Mississippi Ave. / 2883231 facebook.com/Quizissippi Honorable mention:

ShanRock’s Triviology shanrockstrivia.com

BEST BIKE TRAIL Winner:

SPRINGWATER CORRIDOR TRAIL A 40-mile loop of endless paved biking sprawl that doubles as a scenic shortcut through and around Southeast. Runner-up:

Forest Park West of downtown Portland / 823-4492 forestparkconservancy.org Honorable mention:

Banks-Vernonia Trail Editors’ pick: River View Natural Area

BEST DOG PARK Winner:

1000 ACRES

Crown Point Highway, Troutdale / 695-2372 True to its name, 1000 Acre Dog Park gives your best friend a vast space to play and explore, including access to the Sandy River. Runner-up:

Mount Tabor Park SE Salmon Way / 823-2525 Honorable mention:

Laurelhurst Park 3756 SE Oak St. / 823-2525 Editors’ pick: Mount Tabor Park

BEST FAMILY OUTING Winner:

OREGON COAST There are countless ways to enjoy the Oregon Coast. You can peep at exotic, aquatic creatures in tide pools, drink beer while crabbing oﬀ a dock in Newport, blaze over windswept sand dunes in a roaring dune buggy…Calgon, take me away. Runner-up:

Hood River Honorable mention:

Multnomah Falls www.oregon.com/attractions/multnomah_falls Editors’ pick: Astoria

BEST BIKE SHOP Winner:

RIVER CITY BICYCLES 706 SE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd. / 233-5973 rivercitybicycles.com

Between the free tune-ups, upstairs test track and the vast selection—including a nearby outlet—River City Bicycles has been Portland’s one-stop bike mecca for over 20 years. Runner-up:

Bike Gallery Multiple locations. bikegallery.com Honorable mention:

Velo Cult 1969 NE 42nd Ave. / 922-2012 velocult.com

BEST GOLF COURSE Winner:

EASTMORELAND

2425 SE Bybee Blvd. / 775-2900 eastmorelandgolfcourse.com At nearly 100 years old, Eastmoreland is Portland’s ﬁrst public golf course, and remains one of our most challenging. Side note: A PBR, basket of fries, and a bucket of balls at the range is a great afternoon getaway, too. Runner-up:

Pumpkin Ridge-Ghost Creek 12930 NW Old Pumpkin Ridge Road, North Plains / 647-4747 pumpkinridge.com/ghost-creek Honorable mention:

Glendoveer 14015 NE Glisan St. / 253-7507 playglendoveer.com Editors’ pick: Heron Lakes

BEST HIKING TRAIL Winner:

FOREST PARK

West of downtown Portland / 823-4492 forestparkconservancy.org The Wildwood Trail is over 30 miles of meandering, breathtaking good56

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

ness. Just try not to get Blair Witch spooked when you stumble upon the ominous stone house. Runner-up:

Eagle Creek oregonhikers.org/field_guide/Eagle_ Creek_Trailhead Honorable mention:

Dog Mountain oregonhikers.org/field_guide/Dog_ Mountain_Hike Editors’ pick: Eagle Creek

BEST LOCAL SPORTS STORE/OUTDOOR OUTFITTER Winner:

Next AdveNture

426 SE Grand Ave. / 233-0706 nextadventure.net Next Adventure is, of course, Portland’s premier alternative sports and outdoor store. What separates it from the rest is that it takes disc golf just as seriously as hiking, climbing or other ostensibly weightier activities—it’ll treat you the same whether you’re a car camper or planning an expedition to Everest. Runner-up:

REI Multiple locations. rei.com Honorable mention:

Andy and Bax Sporting Goods 324 SE Grand Ave. / 234-7538 andyandbax.com Editors’ pick: Next Adventure

BEST PARK Winner:

Forest PArk

West of downtown Portland / 823-4492 forestparkconservancy.org This beautiful park overlooks the city while connecting to the Oregon Zoo, OHSU, Pittock Mansion and other landmarks of the wooded West Hills. Runner-up:

Mount Tabor Park SE Salmon Way / 823-2525

Portland Running Company goes above and beyond selling excellent athletic shoes. Shoe fit is important, but PRC also makes sure the shoes fit your running style and provide support where you need it. Runner-up:

Foot Traffic Multiple locations. foottraffic.us Honorable mention:

Fleet Feet Sports PDX-Fit Right 2258 NW Raleigh St. / 525-2122 fleetfeetsports.com

BEST RUNNING TRAIL Winner:

Forest PArk

West of downtown Portland / 823-4492 forestparkconservancy.org Apparently, Willamette Week readers really like Forest Park. So much so that this category’s runner-up is also in Forest Park. It’s a big park, ok? Runner-up:

Wildwood Trail Honorable mention:

6441 SW Canyon Ct. / 292-4626 hoodtocoast.com Approximately 200 miles of sweat, blood and tears stand between Timberline Lodge on Mount Hood and coastal Seaside, but that hasn’t stopped this Herculean, 12-person relay from becoming one of the most popular runs in the land. Runner-up:

Shamrock Run shamrockrunportland.com Honorable mention:

Bridge to Brews terrapinevents.com/event/bridge-tobrews-portland-8k-10k-run/ Editors’ pick: Bridge to Brews

BEST RUNNING STORE Winner:

PortlANd ruNNiNg ComPANy

800 SE Grand Ave. / 232-8077 portlandrunningcompany.com

Elbe’s butter-based edibles are those tasty treats you find at most dispensaries. The green stars are a helpful measure of strength: that bomb bowl of chili will set you up for a chill evening; that tangy lemon bar is going to get you high as an elephant’s eye. Runner-up:

True North Extracts truenorthextracts.com Honorable mention:

The Balm from Portland Premium portlandpremium.com Editors’ pick: Empower Oil

3950 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 232-3393 3rdeyeshoppe.com

Winner:

BurNside skAtePArk SE 2nd Ave.

Portlanders’ favorite illegally built— now city-approved—skatepark under the Burnside Bridge. Even if you haven’t been here in person, you’ll probably recognize it from the video games. Runner-up:

Gabriel Park Southwest Vermont Street and 45th Avenue / 823-2525 Honorable mention:

Pier Park 10325 N Lombard St. / 823.7529 Editors’ pick: Pier Park

BEST SWIMMING SPOT Winner:

Once a prime hooch-smuggling spot during Prohibition, Sauvie Island remains a popular place for Portlanders to dive into the Columbia, now somewhat cancer-fish-free!

Hood to CoAst

faceboom.com/elbesedibles

BEST SKATEPARK

Editors’ pick: the park with no name near St. Johns

Winner:

elBe’s ediBles

BEST HEAD SHOP

sAuvie islANd

BEST RUNNING EVENT

Winner:

Tryon Creek State Park 11321 SW Terwilliger Blvd. / 636-4398 tryonfriends.org

Honorable mention:

Laurelhurst Park 3756 SE Oak St. / 823-2525

BEST CANNABISINFUSED PRODUCT

sauvieisland.org

Winner

tHird eye sHoPPe

Co-founded by legendary weed activist Jack Herer, Third Eye has in many ways been preparing for this day. This psychedelically painted home-turned-head-shop on Hawthorne certainly looks like the physical manifestation of low-key stoner heaven. Runner-up:

Mary Jane’s House of Glass Multiple locations. maryjaneshouseofglass.net Honorable mention:

Mellow Mood Multiple locations. mellowmood.com Editors’ pick: Hillbilly’s Herbs and Glass

BEST MARIJUANA STRAIN

Runner-up:

Sandy River Honorable mention: Clackamas River Editors’ pick: Camas Potholes

Winner:

Blue dreAm

BEST BUD TENDER Winner

Jeremy PlumB / FArmA

916 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 206-4357 farmapdx.com As mentioned in WW’s annual weed issue earlier this year, Farma’s Jeremy Plumb is a bundle of frenetic energy bursting at the seams with cannabis knowledge. He created the popular Cinex strain. Runner-up:

Yazmine / Collective Awakenings 9823 NE Sandy Blvd. / 206-9070 collectiveawakenings.com

A pleasant hybrid of the Blueberry and Haze strains, WW readers’ pick for best strain finds that crowdpleasing middle ground between the cerebral high of the sativa and full body mellow of the indica. Runner-up:

OG Kush

Honorable mention:

Sour Diesel Editors’ pick: Omega by Emerald Twist CONT. on page 58

Honorable mention:

Camilla / Human Collective 9220 SW Barbur Blvd. / 208-3042 humancollective.org Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

BEST MEDICAL MARIJUANA DISPENSARY Winner:

FARMA

916 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 206-4357 farmapdx.com This Best Dispensary nod is helped by the services of Best Bud Tender Jeremy Plumb. Out on Portland’s original cannabis corridor, Farma lives up to its name in stressing the medical and technical aspects of Oregon’s newly legal green. Runner-up:

Five Zero Trees 10209 SE Division St. / 971-242-8492 ﬁvezerotrees.com

tion Hall, is kind of like A Prairie Home Companion’s younger, more entertaining half-sister who left the Midwest for the artisanal quirk of Portland.

problem with the runner-up and honorable mention selections here, talk to Neil Olshey.

Honorable mention:

Runner-up:

LaMarcus Aldridge San Antonio Spurs

Runner-up:

Merwin’s Vape & Vintage 3611 SE Division St. / 235-3533 merwinsvape.com

BEST METEOROLOGIST Winner:

Nectar Cannabis Multiple locations. nectarpdx.com

Whether we’re curious if it’ll be nice at the coast, or if we can expect another month of Qatari weather, Portlanders still turn to Matt Zaﬃ no as our most trusted weather-talking guy. Clean sweep of TV categories for KGW.

Winner:

THIRD EYE

3950 SE Hawthorne Blvd. / 232-3393 3rdeyeshoppe.com The House that Jack Built is an all-purpose smoker’s hardware store winning both Best Head Shop and best place to buy smoke-free tools to get blazed.

MATT ZAFFINO KGW

Runner-up:

Rhonda Shelby KATU Honorable mention

Andy Carson KPTV

Honorable mention

Robin Lopez New York Knicks

BEST LOCAL TV NEWSCAST

BEST LOCAL RADIO SHOW

Winner:

KGW

DARIA, MITCH & TED

The local NBC aﬃliate and platform for Blazers bullhorn John Canzano continues bringing the bald-faced truth to the people of Portland, whether it’s an exclusive scoop or an embarrassing selﬁe fail caught on live TV.

105.1 The Buzz

Runner-up:

KATU

Morning Session with Derek Smith KMHD

Honorable mention:

KPTV

Editors’ pick: KATU

BEST PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE

All the feverish excitement, awkward pauses and joy that Portlanders need to maintain their sanity during the daily commute. Runner-up:

The Future of What XRAY.fm & Kill Rock Stars Editors’ pick: Grateful Dead & Friends on KBOO

Winner

BEST RADIO PERSONALITY

Winner:

Portland Trail Blazers

Winner:

3606 N Mississippi Ave. / 548-4920 livewireradio.org Live Wire Radio, which is taped in front of a live studio audience at Revolu-

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

DAMIAN LILLARD The All-Star sharpshooter and creator of #DameFace just inked a ﬁve-year, $125 million extension. Look for him to throw the lob to Mason Plumlee early and often come this November. Also: If you have a

Runner-up

Gustav 94/7 KNRK Honorable mention

Carl Wolfson 107.1 XRAY

Editors’ pick: Kurt Huﬀman

Editors’ pick: Alex Morgan

BEST LOCAL PODCAST LIVE WIRE RADIO

Honorable mention:

Funemployment Radio funemploymentradio.com

The Human Collective 9220 SW Barbur Blvd / 208-3042 humancollective.org

BEST VAPE SHOP

Kick Ass Oregon History orhistory.com

Runner-up:

Allen brain in a bombshell frame? Works for us.

DARIA

105.1 The Buzz Portland’s radio queen—and occasional theater actor—continues to hold an iron grip over any and all radio personality polls. A Woody

BEST RADIO STATION (MUSIC) Winner:

107.1 XRAY xray.fm

The upstart nonproﬁt has become the voice of progressive radio in Portland, giving a voice to Best Radio Personality Honorable mention Carl Wolfson and former mayoral candidate Jeﬀerson Smith. Also: spinning a great mix of eclectic music programming with a variety of cool specialty shows hosted by local tastemakers. Runner-up:

KMHD Jazz Honorable mention:

94/7 KNRK

Traditional Exotic Fare All you-Can-Eat Buffets & Menu Orders Vegetarian, Vegan & Gluten-Free Options Locally Owned & Operated by the Chand Family from India

Vancouver since 2001 6300 NE 117th Ave 360-891-5857

Parkrose since 2009 8303 NE Sandy Blvd 503-257-5059

Lloyd District Open 1403 NE Weidler 503-442-3841

Coming soon!

Our 4th locationâ&#x20AC;&#x201C;Watch for it: 10306 NE Halsey

NamasteIndianCuisine.com

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

FOOD: Renata’s fantastic pasta. MUSIC: Exploding Hearts’ Terry Six returns to Portland. THEATER: Shakespeare indoors, for a change. WEED: The benefits of joining the OMMP now.

67 69 82 92

SCOOP NOW IN 3-D! BYE, BRANX: The building at 315 SE 3rd Ave. is undergoing yet another transformation. Rotture and Branx, the music venues on its top and bottom floors since 2006, have both closed. Beginning July 24, the complex—which has changed hands and names multiple times since the late ’70s—will go back to its first name, Euphoria, and relaunch as a “queercentric” electronic dance club. The building will also receive “a historical throwback to the space’s origins as an original Portland alternative nightlife space,” according to a post on the club’s newly activated Facebook page. The new venue will be run by Samuel Thomas, curator of the Portland Queer Music Festival and former operations manager at Rotture and Branx. In 2012, Thomas attempted to convert the Ella Street Social Club in Goose Hollow into a gay-focused club but ran out of funding. The opening-night party will feature appearances by RuPaul’s Drag Race contestants Willam Belli and Manila Luzon. LADY’S NIGHT: Last week, local music label M’lady’s Records took the step of changing its pay structure to reflect the wage gap in America, announcing via email: “Mail order for women living in America will now be 77 percent of the listed price, the current wage gap, according to the Bureau of Labor Department of Statistics.” Brett Lyman of M’lady’s Records told WW that the response has been, “absolutely bananas, both good and bad. All of the hate mail has been from boys.... Response from feminists and punks and hard-working people with common sense has been 100 percent positive and supportive.” When asked whether charging male and female customers different prices might be illegal, Brett said, “I don’t know, is it illegal for every restaurant I ever worked in as a kid to give discounts to police just for being police?” Anyway, the second part of the new policy is that “dudebros that grouse about this will have to pay double.” Bring on the Men’s Rights Activists! DON’T TRUST ANYONE UNDER 30: Portland’s first and only 30-and-up bar will close within two months. In May 2014, Cully dive bar Magoo’s successfully petitioned the Oregon Liquor Control Commission to let it kick out everyone 25 and under, and it has since upped the age floor to 30. “It’s worked out great,” said a bartender when WW called. “The younger crowd tends to be a bit rowdier. It’s been good for safety.” But the experiment is over. By Sept. 1, Magoo’s will transition into Pizza Jerk, a pizzeria by Tommy Habetz of Bunk Bar that will get its meat from Old Salt across the street and veggies from the local farmers market. It also plans to offer soft-serve ice cream with funny toppings. COMIN’ DOWN THE MOUNTAIN: Mt. Hood Meadows won’t be just on the mountain anymore. By this Labor Day, the ski resort plans to expand into Portland with a bar, ticket office and alpine store called Altitude, at 1202 NW 17th Ave. “Say someone is interested in getting footbeds for ski or snowboard boots,” says spokesman Dave Tragethon. “We can take measurements [in Portland], then produce stuff [on Mount Hood] at our high-performance center and then ship it over. Or you can drop off equipment for tech or tuning and we’ll ship up to the ski area.” Of course, you could also just grab a beer and look at pretty pictures of snow. 60

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

HEADOUT

GO:

The Oregon Mermaids and the Portland Aquarium educational team will be at Director Park, 815 SW Park Ave., 823-8087, directorpark.org, on Saturday, July 18. Noon-2 pm. Free.

@ WA LT O O N S

WILLAMETTE WEEK

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

WEDNESDAY JULY 15 PUCKERFEST: CASCADE TAKEOVER [HOUSE OF SOUR] Now till Monday, every tap at Belmont Station is sour beer. Wednesday it’s 16 taps of Cascade Barrelhouse, including 2013 versions of Sang Rouge and Vlad the Imp Aler. But don’t miss the outof-state Friday or the Block 15 and de Garde night Saturday. Details at belmont-station.com/puckerfest. Belmont Station, 4500 SE Stark St., 232-8538. 3-7 pm.

FRIDAY JULY 17 THE SONICS [GARAGE LEGENDS] In its ’60s heyday, the Tacoma band was the quintessential garage-rock outfit— the guys who made it look raunchy, cool and like anyone could do it. Reunited and touring on a new record, they kick off Project Pabst weekend with a jolt. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., 248-4700. Sold out. 9 pm. 21+. CATHEDRAL PARK JAZZ FESTIVAL [SWINGIN’ PARTY] The best-located jazz festival in the state returns for its 35th year. The shady lawn under the St. Johns Bridge hosts up-andcoming artists like Portland soul saxophonist Hailey Niswanger and vocalist Paul Creighton’s tribute to Stevie Wonder. Cathedral Park, North Edison Street and Pittsburg Avenue. See cpjazz.com for complete schedule. Through July 19.

The Oregon Mermaids come to Director Park this Saturday for a day of face painting, mermaid tales and “animal encounters.” Bring the kids if you want, but be warned, they’re going to start asking a lot of questions—mainly, “Mommy, where do mermaids come from?” and “Daddy, how do a mermaid and human consummate their love?” Having “The Talk” with your kids can be hard and embarrassing for everyone, so we’ve laid out a few talking points to help you share with your kids the beauty of Homo sapiens and merpeople sexual relations. LIZZY ACKER.

Q: Are mermaids boys or girls? It’s best to refer to any half-human, half-fish being as a “merperson” until you know how they self-identify. Merpeople are very genderfluid, but usually they fall into the categories of mermaids, mermen and male mermaids. Merpeople have genitalia similar to ours except on their front, with their anuses right above their private parts. Mermaids have vaginas, mermen have penises in sheaths, kind of like dolphins, and male mermaids have both penises and vaginas.

Q: How do merpeople have sex? When any group of merpeople love each other very much, they rub their parts against each other, sometimes inside each other, in a special, watery cuddle.

Q: How do merpeople and humans have sex? Because humans can’t breathe under water, if they want to have sex with a merperson, they need to get out of the water for a little bit. Merpeople can be out of the water for up to 12 hours, but they can’t walk, so this means having to have sex on the beach (don’t do this in Florida). Another option is to fall in love with a transhuman—lots of mermaids want to be humans, and there are both surgical and magical options to give them legs. Logistically, it’s easier for merpeople to special cuddle with a human once they’ve transitioned. Sometimes, if magic is involved, they have to trade their voices for legs, though. If they’re mute, be extra careful to make sure they give consent to the special cuddle.

Q: Can merpeople and humans have babies? Merpeople aren’t the same species as humans, but they are in the same genus, like goats and sheep or donkeys and horses. That means they are close enough to humans to interbreed. It’s always best to do some genetic testing before you have babies with a merperson, though, because sometimes a half-human, halfmermaid can be end up being born with fins instead of arms or a fish head instead of a face.

SATURDAY JULY 18 URBAN CRUSH GRAND OPENING [WINE] Angel Vine owners Laureen O’Brien and her winemaker husband Ed Fus are opening shop in House Spirits’ old spot on Distillery Row and promising exclusively Oregon wines from D’Anu, Willful Wines, Cinzia and Angel Vine. Of all the Southeast wineries, it’s now the farthest south, meaning the easiest to roll downhill to. Urban Crush, 2025 SE 7th Ave., 477-6994. Free. STUMPTOWN SUPERCON [SUPER-DRUNK] To keep homeless youth from hanging out in front of liquor stores, local charity P:ear asks people to shell out more for their liquor. The fifth annual superhero-costume contest and bar-crawl fundraiser starts at the Portland Spirit and progressively dives to Dixie. Who’s one-upping the bearded Wonder Woman from last year? Salmon Street Springs, Southwest Naito Parkway and Salmon Street, stumptownevents. weebly.com. 2:45 pm, Free. 21+.

MONDAY JULY 20 DICK DIVER [COLLEGE CLASSICISTS] The Australian band’s third album, Melbourne, Florida, is a superb collection of jangly, melodic numbers full of caustic lyrics about family strife, class warfare and the wretched feelings invoked by reading an ex-lover’s email. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

TICKETS ON SALE NOW for

PIE HARD WWEEK.COM/PIEHARD 62

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

CULTURE

cannabis N at h a N C a r r a d o

THE ROLLALONG THE WEED-DELIVERY BUSINESS IS NOT AS EXCITING AS HIGH MAINTENANCE. bY TY L E R H U R sT

@tdhu rst

For Maddy, it started with love. Two years ago, after her friendship with one of the two male founders of PK Delivery turned into something more, she decided to join his medical cannabis-delivery business. When her beau decided to take a step back and focus on another project, she took over full time. Since mid-2013, she’s been doing weed delivery—like High Maintenance, but more boring. “It’s not exciting,” she says as we prepare to deliver to one of her regulars. The patient, a woman in her mid-40s, lives in Irvington. She recently returned from a spiritual recovery vacation on a tropical island. Her Oregon Medical Marijuana Program card has expired, but she had a doctor sign the green sheet which goes to the OMMP office for approval. As long as the patient can show she’s sent her paperwork via registered mail, she’s protected. So Maddy, 23, pulls out her box, and they chat. The woman shares a bit about her vacation, Maddy talks horseback riding, and both make plans to eventually get together to do whatever people who ride horses do. Maddy hands over prepackaged baggies of a few cannabis strains, the patient hands over cash, everyone smiles and we walk back to our car. “I told you it wasn’t exciting,” Maddy says, as she walks to the driver door. PK Delivery operates in a gray area of medical marijuana law. Neither Maddy nor the business are licensed, nor do they currently pay taxes. “My attorney says not to right now,” Maddy says, her face tense with worry. “I’m not sure how to, and no one can explain how my business fits into that stuff.” She shows off a handful of paperwork with receipts dating back monthly for two years and a ledger filled with notes and numbers. “I want this to be a nonprofit,” Maddy says, while we wait in traffic on our way to that Irvington delivery. “But it’s too expensive for me to file for status without an investor.” While she waits for laws to catch up with her business and an investor to commit, Maddy plans to continue doing what she’s been doing. She’s careful about checking OMMP cards or doctor-issued green sheets and IDs using smartphones, but knows what she does is fraught with mistrust. “People that won’t send pictures of their cards, unless they’re senior citizens having a tough time with technology, won’t get a visit from me,” Maddy says.

PK Delivery’s business comes mostly from referrals via Oregon medical marijuana card clinics, which know that patients can’t receive cannabis from dispensaries until their state-issued card arrives, which can take anywhere from three weeks to three months. These quasi-legal patients pose a risk to Maddy, as she’s frequently received requests for deliveries from people outside Multnomah County, where, according to her attorney, police stings are far more prevalent and consequences far more serious. But the worry doesn’t stop there, as the former horse trainer isn’t what anyone would call an imposing presence, leaving her open to dastardly tricks by people who may want to steal her stash. “If I don’t know a patient or they can’t show me their paperwork over the phone, I never take my box out of the car,” Maddy says. “Because we work with donations, I can’t do anything.” If a patient changed their mind about donating for the cannabis they ordered and decided to take Maddy’s box, a call to the police wouldn’t help much. So Maddy is supercareful about who she’ll deliver to—she made me wait nearly a month after our first encounter before she’d allow an interview at her office and a ride-along delivery. Her patients are mostly in Portland. Her office space, in the central eastside, is functional but more of a storage and rest area in between calls. Her landlord knows exactly what her business does and supports it, a welcome change from the stories many cannabisrelated business owners have shared regarding finding suitable space. But for Maddy, having an office is an important part of PK Delivery becoming a “legitimate” opera-

special delivery: pK’s daily deals.

“they keep CalliNg, so i keep deliveriNg.” tion, so she plans to keep it if only for a secure space to store her business documents. She doesn’t bother to hang up pictures to decorate the bare walls that are more cubicles than private spaces, but she has the requisite home-office laptop and printer on her desk. On the ride back to her office, Maddy talks about her other patients, which include optometrists, city officials and everyday people looking for help with a long list of maladies. She drove 60,000 miles last year delivering cannabis, though business isn’t always booming. During the winter and occasionally the fall, she takes retail or nanny jobs to help stay afloat, with plans to eventually finish up community college and move out of her mom’s place. Just before pulling up in front of her office, Maddy gets a call from a frazzled-sounding woman who happened to be just down the street celebrating her daughter’s new driver’s license. Maddy explains she doesn’t usually meet patients at her office—it’s too risky—but this lady was a regular, so she made the exception. The patient—a frizzy-haired, overly energetic, obviously nonmedicated woman with a bounce in her step and a stammer in her speech—gushes about Maddy’s helpfulness. There is talk of shatter and dabs, but with only $40 cash and a strict budget, the woman isn’t wasn’t about to get exactly what she wants. Maddy listens patiently, re-arranges packaging to get her patient at least some of what she needs and continues to chat while waiting for the daughter to finish a drive around the block. Maddy says she doesn’t know if she wants to do this forever, and has thought about going back into the cannabis dispensary business, the gig that got her to what she’s doing now. Or maybe she’ll finish school. Maybe she’ll take up horseback riding again, now that she’s healed from the fall that paused her hobby. Or, maybe, with legalization she’ll find that investor and turn PK Delivery into a fully compliant and licensed operation. In the meantime, she rolls on. “They keep calling, so I keep delivering,” she says. Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

d n a l t r Po

Organic Artisan Pizza • Rotating Craft Beer Selection

A Neighborhood Pub

Large back patio! Happy Hour Every Day 4-6 Live Music muddyrudderpdx.com

8105 SE 7th Ave., Portland • (503) 233-4410

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

STREET

WOODLAWN OUR FAVORITE LOOKS THIS WEEK. P H OTOS BY C ARRI E WI LSON wweek.com/street

Antoinette Antique & Estate Jewelry

2328 NW Westover Rd. AntoinetteJewelry.com

SIMPLISTIC APPROACH

BOLD FLAVOR Vegan Friendly

Open 11-10

Everyday

500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173 kungpowpdx.com Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

BRUNCH Sunday

Proudly serving it up to PDX for 11 years

11AM – 3PM

FOOD & DRINK = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 15 Puckerfest: Cascade Takeover

Walk up window 11:30am–3pm

La Calaca Comelona 2304 SE Belmont | 503-239-9675 4-10pm Mon–Sat

Continuing the weeklong sourbeer extravaganza Puckerfest after the Breakside Passonfruit Sour kickoﬀ on Tuesday, Belmont Station hosts 16 taps of Cascade Barrelhouse, including 2013 versions of Sang Rouge, Vlad the Imp Aler and Belgian mashup the Vine. Puckerfest continues through Monday—don’t miss the out-ofstate day Friday or the Block 15 and de Garde night Saturday. Details at belmont-station.com/ puckerfest. Belmont Station, 4500 SE Stark St., 232-8538. 3 pm-close.

Blunt’s BBQ Pop-Up

From Wednesday to Friday, jump in the queue early for legendary self-taught Tokyo barbecue chef Blunt of Hatos Bar in Tokyo for a Japanese version of American oldschool barbecue. From 6 pm each day until it runs out, pick up Tokyo spare ribs, babybacks, pork shoulder and pork belly, alongside carrot salad and coleslaw sides. A cool $18 will nab you a “big-ass plate” with plenty of the above for you to chow down alongside special guests Ndamukong Suh, chef Gregory Gourdet and members of the Portland Trail Blazers. White Owl Social Club, 1305 SE 8th Ave., 2369672, whiteowlsocialclub.com. From 6 pm till the food runs out.

FRIDAY, JULY 17 Beers Made by Walking: Cascade Views

Join three of Portland’s best brewers—from Upright, Commons and Hopworks—on a 4-mile hike through Forest Park that highlights the beer-making potential of the local ﬂora, with a guide from the Forest Park Conservancy. Or just ogle the various mountain views at the top of the trail. It’s free, but there’s limited capacity, so you need to register at forestparkconservancy.org. After the hike, Skyline Tavern will have a brew from at least one of the breweries on tap. Lower Saltzman Trailhead, Northwest Saltzman Road oﬀ U.S. Highway 30. Noon-3 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, JULY 18 Oregon Distillers Festival

McMenamins Edgeﬁeld plays host to the fruits of more than 20 different Oregon distillers, with 120plus liquors in all pouring at the fest. Among the rarities, expect

small-batch rum from 4 Spirits, Big Bottom’s new house-distilled gin, vodka aged in wine and rye barrels from Bull Run, Lithuanian honey liqueur from JVR, and the new Aquavit from Rolling River. Admission includes appetizers from McMenamins Black Rabbit. McMenamins Edgeﬁeld, 2126 SW Halsey St., 669-8610. 4-7 pm. $30 for 14 tasting tokens. 21+.

Where to eat this week. 1. Lil’ Wares 537 NE Fremont St., 971-229-0995, smallwarespdx.com/lil. Lil’ Wares’ signature item is a possibly perfect thing, a General Tso chicken sandwich that’s essentially a Chinese po’boy. $-$$. 2. Kung Pow 500 NW 21st Ave., 208-2173, kungpowpdx.com. Get the spicy lamb bao bing mu shu wrap with every meal, then augment with fish balls and anything spicy. $-$$. 3. Conquistador Lounge 2045 SE Belmont St., 232-3227. Home to some of the finest bar food in town—and the finest nachos, period—Conquistador has quietly added Sunday brunch to the repertoire until 2 pm, with arepas eggs Benedict and some serious bloody marys. $-$$.

4. Simply Vietnamese 2218 NE 82nd Ave., 208-3391. It’s easy to forget about this barebones, late-night Vietnamese spot with barber-striped tables and an all-Vietnamese clientele. But it’s got dishes you can’t ﬁnd anywhere else, from goat curries to an addictively spicy chili-lemongrass dish with clam meat. $-$$. 5. Marmo Deli & Bar 1037 SW Morrison St., 224-0654, marmopdx.com. The $11 classic Italian sub goes quite well with three Negronis at lunch. $$.

DRANK

LAURELWEIZEN (LAURELWOOD BREWING) Call it blasphemy, but I’m not a big fan of “American hefeweizen.” To me, the best part of a traditional German hefe is the interplay of esters like isoamyl acetate and the protein-dense, sweet wheat base. Too few Oregon breweries even try to make a traditional German hefe, and fewer yet get it right. Well, Laurelwood nailed it this year. The recipe comes from former beer boss Vasilios Gletsos, who made a batch last year before leaving for Vermont’s much-ballyhooed Hill Farmstead. His heir, Shane Watterson, made this brew using Occidental’s yeast strain. The end product has a gorgeous, soft-yellow glow and is heavy on just-barely-brown banana, with a pleasant creaminess and a light sprinkle of clove. It’s smooth and light enough to drink even when your lawn starts to crunch underfoot. So far, this is my beer of the summer. Recommended. MARTIN CIZMAR. 66

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK R ya n L a B R i E R E

MI PIACE TROPPO THE YOUNG RENATA HAS SOME NICE MOVES AND FANTASTIC PASTA. BUT THERE’S WORK TO DO. By M a rt i n C i z M a r

mcizmar@wweek.com

Lunch plans had to be canceled—Nick Arnerich knew that right away. When Arnerich’s new, wood-fired Italian restaurant, Renata, was chosen as The Oregonian’s favorite new spot in its annual restaurant issue just two weeks after officially opening, it paradoxically made it impossible for him to follow through with the plans that won him the accolade. “We had to make some big changes, which was hard,” he says. “We’d been focused on lunch, and made an investment in lunch. That was part of the business plan from the start. But we knew we had a responsibility to the city of Portland to get it right, and we couldn’t spread ourselves that thin.” It was a bold, and wise, decision. Six weeks after officially opening, Renata is far from perfect, but it’s doing a lot right. And to talk with Arnerich—I found it impossible to just file a straight review of this restaurant given the way media coverage has shaped the project—you get the impression he’s going to smooth out most of the remaining wrinkles. First, a little backstory: Nick and his wife Sandra both previously worked front of the house at Napa Valley’s French Laundry, arguably the world’s best restaurant. Nick is a Portland native. His father, Tony Arnerich, is a former restaurateur who now runs an investment firm that manages $22 billion in assets. From his father, Nick got the keys to a 10,000-squarefoot space for a restaurant with space for an in-house dairy, specialty food market and a chocolatier. Renata’s kitchen is helmed by chef Matt Sigler, who previously worked at Flour + Water, an excellent pizzeria in San Francisco’s Mission District. At this point Renata isn’t making good use of either the Arnerichs’ fine-dining service experience or Sigler’s proficiency with pizza. But the young restaurant does have a few nice moves. Renata is huge, open and bustling—58 chairs and 12 bar stools inside, plus a patio that holds 35—and far too large to attempt a traditional fine-dining experience. It’s an airy, undivided space, centered on two long, C-shaped, wooden slabs surrounded by wooden classroom chairs. From the ceiling, copper-colored hooded lights hang between unvarnished wooden beams. A wall of windows looks out on the patio, surrounding warehouses and the West Hills. On the back wall, by the open kitchen, hangs a big neon sign that says “Mi Piace,” or, “I like it.” The overall vibe is “extremely tasteful school cafeteria.” Music comes from the White Stripes and other early naughties garage rock. Coasters and water bottles (still or sparkling) are branded with the restaurant’s logo. The service is plentiful and free-form—you may be tag-teamed by five or six staffers in an evening. Clear at least two hours for a meal. On one visit, it took an hour to get to the entrees. For now, plan to drink cocktails or wine. Though Arnerich will be adding more taps in the weeks to come, right now there are only three. One goes to cider—a winy crabapple drop that goes for $1 an ounce. The beer list consists of two local kegs and five Italian bottles, which top out with a $25 A Modo Mio IPA (56 on RateBeer, unrated on Beer Advocate). Servers are the type who pronounce Lambrusco with rolling-R verve and describe a beer as “the saison from Farmhouse” (actually the Saaz-hop saison from teeny-tiny Humble Brewing). The other tap goes to a cream ale, which I found pairs poorly with pastas and breads. The cocktails were wonderful early, but seem to be lagging of late. On all three visits, we ordered the Nights in Cabiria, which has Calabrian chiles, lime, apricot and gin, and a spritzer called the Silver Spoon, made with Clear Creek

FIRE HOUSE: Renata’s stonefruit salad and mixed grill of lamb.

grappa, Champagne-vinegar-pickled necribbon under the incisors. Order this: Salad, pasta, beef. tarines and cinnamon. Not all of the pasta is so good. One gnocOn our first visit, the Silver Spoon was a I’ll pass: Beer, pizza. chi dish was a mess: overcooked to the showstopper. It came out with a comically point of almost losing their pillowy form large fruit skewer, including a quarter of a lime and a whole and drenched in a saline sauce that crashed like a tsunami candy-sweet strawberry the size of a small beach ball. By the over the greens intended to provide a balancing bitterness. third visit, it had deflated to half the size. Likewise, the gin- A pesto pasta was also overcooked. based Nights in Cabiria had a nice bite from the chilis on When it comes to mains, steer toward meat and away our first visit, and thereafter missed their wonderful flicker from pizza. of heat. If it were my restaurant, I’d just Luca Brasi the pizzas. When it comes to appetizers and salads, pretty much Both were huge disappointments—the first, a meatball everything is solid. The best thing we’ve had from the start pie, because of a dull sauce, and the second, because it of the menu is crispy pork trotters ($10), little deep-fried was baked too long, developing that sour, blackened flavor triangles of impossibly rich, shredded pig foot balanced by that comes when you burn a few kernels of popcorn in the a chutney of bright cherries. kettle. The $10 bread basket is close behind. Yes, it’s $10 for bread But every meat plate we had—a mixed beef plate, a that isn’t as good as what you can get for free a few blocks roasted half-chicken and a plate of sliced brisket—was well away at Ken Forkish’s Trifecta. But between the ultra-buttery cut and prepared. focaccia, surprisingly fluffy Pugliese and spreads that include That simple chicken was as good as any you’ll find in gooey-sweet honey butter with bee pollen and pleasantly town, drippingly moist and paired with brightly bitter grassy olive oil, it’s a worthy add-on to your meal. greens. The brisket came with a killer sauce of garlic and Like the rest of the menu, the salads ($12-$14) are in pureed kohlrabi, an earthy turnip-like vegetable. It’s gone constant flux, but all of them we’ve had juxtapose fatty and for now, and likely won’t return until next year, when the bitter notes to great effect. One of the more interesting is next kohlrabi crop comes in. a chopped salad with a sharp vinegar sting and big chunks That, I think, is one of the most interesting aspects of salty, unaged prosciutto. It also has stunningly delicious of this project—it’s the largest restaurant in Portland croutons: garlicky chunks of brittle, dry crust that crunch with such a fluid, seasonal menu. And it’s why Renata is like puffed rice. The basic seasonal lettuces used soft, little, worth keeping a close eye on, even if the entire business fried dough balls as croutons—a true touch of brilliance. plan is in flux. Pasta is where Renata will make its name. Already, it joins Though Arnerich had a tough time abandoning his a very small group of restaurants—Ava Gene’s, Luce, Piazza plans for lunch, there is a silver lining. Italia—capable of delivering a noodle-based knockout punch. “I have a little more time with my kids. I’ll thank [The The best thing I’ve had at Renata, and indeed one of the Oregonian’s restaurant critic] for that,” he says. “We know best things I’ve had all year, was an umami bomb of canestri, we have a long road ahead of us to have a great restaurant. brownish-purple, porcini-inflected elbow noodles dressed Nothing’s sacred, nothing won’t change. I get bored really with braised pork, toasted pine nuts and a dusting of salty fast. We want to keep it fresh and excited.” Parmesan. My second visit led to a similar revelation: doughy I’ll salud to that—after they add a few more taps, anyorecchiette colored by green tomato leaves and topped with way. juicy pink meatballs and garlic-bread croutons made from the foccacia. On my third visit, I was wowed by ricotta-stuffed EAT: Renata, 626 SE Main St., 954-2708, renatapdx.com. $$$-$$$$. Monday-Friday 5:30-10 pm. Saturday 5-10 pm. triangles sauced by a creamy blend of crushed almonds and shredded Parmesan. All were perfectly taut, snapping like a Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

MUSIC

JULY 15–21 PROFILE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

MIKE KERR

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and socalled convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/ submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

Pokey LaFarge, Cahalen Morrison & Country Hammer

[AMERICAN ROOTS] Walking Americana road show Pokey LaFarge’s new record, Something in the Water, is an inspired homage to his native Midwest. Of course, being LaFarge, the sound is from generations ago, when call-and-response vocals, dueling guitars and harmonica were rampant on the charts. Incorporating jazz, ragtime, swing, blues and country, LaFarge and company oﬀer an entrancing cross section of American folk. For those who like to time travel, this one if for you—especially if your jam is a stuﬀy St. Louis bar, circa 1930. MARK STOCK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $17. 21+.

THURSDAY, JULY 16 Ceremony, Tony Molina, Creative Adult

[PLOY DIVISION] Listening to Ceremony for the ﬁrst time, many may wonder, “Is this band named after the Joy Division song?” About 15 seconds into its newest album, L-Shaped Man, the answer quickly becomes clear, as the entire record just oozes a faux-Ian Curtis gloom from start to ﬁnish. Hell,

Memory Tapes, Computer Magic, School Dance

[RIDE THE CHILLWAVE] Do you remember the summer of 2009? It was a simpler, wistful time for chill alt-music bros. We just wanted to dance on the beach and play old VHS movies and cassette tapes and make music that ached to be New Order’s “Blue Monday.” Yes, chillwave (or “gloﬁ” or whatever you want to call it) was bullshit, even if many of its ﬂagship artists (especially Toro y Moi) are still cranking out pretty great records today. Memory Tapes, Dayve Hawk’s opportunist synth-pop project, has moved on from the sound, if not the feel, of that bygone era. After

TOP

even the album art looks damn near exactly like the cover of Closer, or at least New Order’s Factus 8. Whether or not Ceremony is just trying to cash in on the sudden inﬂux of mock Unknown Pleasures T-shirts at Urban Outﬁtters is up for substantial debate, but if it turns out to be the case, it’s at least one hell of a business plan. CASEY HARDMEYER. Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 432-8079. 6 pm. $12. All ages.

MODERN KICKS: Terry Six (left) and “King” Louie Bankston.

EXPLODING HEARTBREAK TERRY SIX IS FINALLY MOVING FORWARD— BUT HE HASN’T FORGOTTEN HIS PAST.

CONT. on page 71

R YA N R U S S E L L

WEDNESDAY, JULY 15

AGAINST ME!

THE FIVE MUST-SEE ACTS AT PROJECT PABST Against Me! (3:30 pm Saturday, July 18) Laura Jane Grace blazed a trail toward this current mainstream moment for transgendered Americans, and it wasn’t by playing nice. On last year’s Transgender Dysphoria Blues, she declared war on intolerance and demanded acceptance by any means necessary. Her band—long one of punk’s best—has never sounded fiercer. Run the Jewels (6:45 pm Saturday, July 18) Sure, if you wanted to see Run the Jewels, you’ve already had ample opportunities. But with Killer Mike emerging as one of hip-hop’s most crucial activist voices, the apocalyptic clamor he stirs up with rapperproducer El-P grows more potent every time the duo comes through. Thee Oh Sees (4:30 pm Saturday, July 18) There are garage-rock bands, and then there are Thee Oh Sees. You’d think after almost 20 years, a few hiatuses and innumerable releases, John Dwyer and his revolving cast of psychedelic misfits would have a lull, but nope: This year’s Mutilator Defeated At Last ranks among the band’s best work. Alvvays (3:30 pm Sunday, July 19) The Canadian indie-pop quartet stole the blogosphere’s collective heart in a way few bands do anymore with its self-titled 2014 debut album and the single “Archie, Marry Me.” On a bill dominated by rocked-out bluster, its swoony jangle should do the same here. Weezer (7:45 pm Sunday, July 19) Yes, every record promises a “return to form,” and every record ends up sucking more than the last. But if you grew up in the ’90s, the good stuff is in your marrow. In lieu of a bottle of Stevens, raise a tallboy of PBR and awaken those ancient feelings. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: Project Pabst is at Zidell Yards, 3121 SW Moody Ave., on Saturday-Sunday, July 18-19. See projectpabst.com for complete schedule and tickets, and Music listings for information on night shows.

BY CR IS LA N KEN AU

243-2122

Punk rock is a culture of youth. So what happens when your youth is interrupted by tragedy? Terry Six was the quintessential teenage punk. In the early 2000s, he formed the Exploding Hearts with three of his best friends and cut Guitar Romantic, a record of brash, whip-smart powerpop tunes that were attracting attention from all the right outlets. They made the cover of punk’s unofficial bible, Maximum Rocknroll. They met with Lookout Records to discuss joining the lineage of Green Day and Screeching Weasel. Then everything came to a stop. In 2003, while driving back to Portland after playing sold-out gigs in San Francisco, their van flipped over. Six was the only band member to survive. After the accident, Six struggled to find his place. After a brief stint in the Nice Boys, he relocated to Oakland, where he now lives with his wife, and took a job at a school for children with autism. “It was the furthest thing from my life in Portland,” says Six, 31. “That’s why I chose it. I wanted the complete opposite of what my life was. Different environment, different hours. Just the complete opposite.” Getting up the desire to do music again at all was a slow process. But after taking several years off, Six has picked his guitar up again. Terry and Louie, his new project with “King” Louie Bankston, the New Orleans musician who made several contributions to Guitar Romantic, has released two singles on Tuff Break, Six’s homegrown label. “I made this judgment call of, ‘Could you be OK with never putting out a record again?’ And the answer was, ‘Absolutely not,’” Six says. “If I was going to return to music I was going to do it on my own terms, and so the label just facilitated that need.” With so much time gone by since the accident, it’s hard to imagine how an artist, now as famous for his backstory as his musical endeavors, could focus on the future while still being respectful of

the past. Six’s new songs are as much of a return to form as fans of Exploding Hearts can hope for. But from the titles of the new songs alone, it’s clear Six is finally looking to move forward: “Can You Tell Me (How Life Goes On)” has a delicious pop-punk jangle, situated perfectly between the early rock ’n’ roll of the ’50s and the buzz of Big Star. “With any sort of project I end up doing, I have a built-in, ready-to-go, die-hard fan base, but they’re not always gonna understand what it is I’m doing,” Six says. “But what I’m doing now, it makes sense. It’s what [the fans] want. It’s what I know how to do.” Along those lines, Terry and Louie have several dates lined up—including a return to Portland for the second annual Project Pabst festival—where they’ll be performing Exploding Hearts songs. It’s a celebration of the band’s memory, and the good things that still remain. And with half of a new record already written, there’s new cause for celebration as well. “We have concrete plans,” Six says. “We have the opening number completely recorded, finished, mastered. We just have nine more to go. We’re thinking about doing half of the record here in Oakland and half in New Orleans with Louie’s guys, so it’d be a sort of an A-side, B-side thing—a collage of West Coast and swamp.” His estimate for a release date is “by this time or fall of next year.” What he knows for sure is, it’ll be on his own label, even though there’s interest from larger outlets. Because what’s more punk than artistic integrity? “We probably could do well if I gave it to somebody else—sell more records, reach a wider audience, go on more tours,” Six says. “But that’s not what I want. Even if it doesn’t sell as many records and if I don’t see a return, that’s not the concern. As long as it’s under my roof, that’s all I care about. I’d rather take a hit and oversee every detail. It’s more collectable that way, too. I like that idea more than if it’s in every store. It’s more cherished.” SEE IT: Terry and Louie play Project Pabst at Zidell Yards, 3121 SW Moody Ave., on Sunday, July 19. 2:30-3:30 pm, second stage. For a complete schedule and ticket information, see projectpabst.com. Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

thursday

Fog Father, Seance Crasher, Sinless

[PSYcH PoP] Sinless is led by cory Allen, former axeman for Jackson Boone’s band. He’s sitting on about a dozen self-recorded tracks, which will trickle out as EPs before a proper full-length next year (with recording help from Riley Geare of Unknown Mortal orchestra). Sinless’ sound is clean and dreamy, with nods to trippier, Lennon-inspired Beatles and tame Impala at its most melodic. the band builds a thick wall out of fluid guitar work and keeps it tethered with inviting bass lines. Fellow Portland pop experimentalists Fog Father headline. MARK StocK.

The Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St., 421-4483. 9 pm. $5. 21+.

Riot V, Spellcaster, Pushy, DJ Dennis Dread

[HEAVY MEtAL] Riot was America’s answer to the new wave of British heavy metal. the band formed in new York in 1975, and by ’79 it was signed to capitol Records and touring the U.K. with Sammy Hagar. Musically, Riot was right in line with early Def Leppard, combining riffs, speed and pop hooks to great effect. Unfortunately, we live in an unfair world. Founding guitarist Mark Reale and both lead singers, Guy Speranza and Rhett Forrester, have sadly passed into that great riot in the sky, leaving the current lineup with no original members. But fans seem to agree unanimously that the band (now known as Riot V) honors the legacy and kicks serious ass, in the studio and onstage. nAtHAn cARSon. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 2266630. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

cont. on page 73

INTRODUCING

cLAIRE AnnE

releasing two slept-on follow-ups to 2009’s thin Seek Magic, the group returned this spring with a single so forgotten that Pitchfork didn’t even write a news item about it. We probably won’t be telling our grandkids about that time we danced to “Bicycle” at 2 am after that one house show, but at least we’ll always have the, ahem, memory. MIcHAEL MAnnHEIMER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

MUSIC

BLOWOUT Who: Laken Wright (bass, vocals), travis King (guitar), Brennan Facchino (guitar), nick Everett (drums). Sounds like: A buzzed and sunny downhill bike ride on the last day of school. For fans of: P.S. Eliot, Swearin’, the Get Up Kids, Hop Along, Lemuria.

If you’re in a band that’s stuck in that bummer interim between formation and validation, you might want to stop reading right now, because Blowout is making it all look way too easy. Two months after playing its first show in February, the pop-punk newcomer released a hastily recorded EP titled We All Float Down Here. People really liked it, and since then, Blowout hasn’t had to go begging for more shows. It’s a seemingly minor accomplishment, but ask anyone who’s started a band—this is a big deal. Such a quick turnaround is rare, and singer-bassist Laken Wright fully appreciates the weirdness of it. “We never expected people to hear [the EP] and be into us,” she says. “It got the ball rolling super-quick, and ever since then it’s been really shocking where we’re at now.” Which isn’t to say the attention is unwarranted. We All Float Down Here is a thrilling 13 minutes of keen and twitchy pop punk that bridges the distance between erstwhile champs like the Get Up Kids and latter-day saints like Hop Along, with Wright’s bright voice dancing in and around the lovely, sun-kissed tumult summoned by guitarists Travis King and Brennan Facchino and drummer Nick Everett. Blowout’s gestation was certainly expedited by a convenient living situation—Everett, King and Wright share a house—but it also helps that Portland’s music scene is especially receptive to the band’s rough form of beauty. “I definitely think there’s something in Portland where people are drawn to the unpolished side of music,” says Wright, who, like her bandmates, is a California transplant. “People can cut through the musicianship and see the songwriting and energy.” Blowout will begin recording its first full-length album (tentatively titled Okay Okay) this month, with concurrent plans to transform its home base in North Portland into a much-needed all-ages show space. But the band won’t rely solely on the kindness of neighbors for too long. “We’re gonna get a van once we pay for this record,” Wright says. So Blowout could blow up. Or not. Who knows? Wright seems like she’d be happy either way. “We just really enjoy playing with each other,” she says. Maybe that’s the secret. CHRIS STAMM. SEE IT: Blowout plays the Know, 2026 nE Alberta St., with Bud Bronson & the Good timers and Goth tV, on Wednesday, July 15. 8 pm. call venue (473-8729) for ticket information. 21+. Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

friday PROFILE

DEVIn toLMAn

FRIDAY, JULY 17

MUSIC

Project Pabst: Chrome

[InDUStRIAL GRInD] Formed in San Francisco in the mid-’70s, chrome is responsible for some of the most lacerating music to come out of the American underground, fueled by abrasive guitars and pummeling industrial rhythms. Even after 40 years and the death of founding member Damon Edge, the band—led by original guitarist Helios creed—remains utterly unclassifiable. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave., 328-2865. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

Project Pabst: Shannon and the Clams, Chastity Belt, the Shivas

[REtRo & RUtHLESS] Shannon and the clams play ’50s-style, doo-wopinspired punk. chastity Belt plays neo-grunge. the Shivas, surf rock. Grouped together, though, it’s easy to see how much their separate aesthetics have in common. they’re all lo-fi, a little revivalist and possess darkly playful attitudes, characterized by songs about lamenting the loss of loud-snoring lovers with missing teeth (the clams), existential frustration with lame sex and dull parties (chastity Belt), and stalking (the Shivas). It’ll be a guitar-heavy, lightheartedly sardonic romp through the decades. SHAnnon GoRMLEY. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 2319663. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

Fu Manchu

[EconoLInE RAWK] Few bands in existence are as synonymous with the stoner-rock genre as Fu Manchu. With three decades of woolly riffage that begs to be blasted from the open windows of a tricked-out Ford club Wagon, this Socal quartet practically wrote the book on the road-ready hesher rock that’s been a vital branch of the post-Sabbath metal tree. Last year’s Gigantoid is Exhibit A in what makes the Fu such a reliable tour de force of boredout riffs and straight-ahead rocker rhythms—which is to say, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. PEtE cottELL. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd., 233-7100. 8 pm. $15. 21+.

Lang, Keegan Baurer, Tha Emcee, Cashis Game

[HIP-HoP] “I make it look easy, so easy, so easy / I write a mixtape while I’m watching the tV,” Lang raps on “King Shit,” a bonus track from his new Sour Nothings mixtape. It’s true, the Portlandvia-Seattle Mc, a recent addition to the FRSH tRB crew—home of PDX favorites Rasheed Jamal, Mic capes and Glenn Waco—drizzles his deceptively slow-motion bars over space-age jazz beats in no hurry, rapping about weed, chilling and girls. that lazy flow sets him apart from his more urgent fellowtRB members (he sometimes sounds vaguely British, truth be told), but when he leaves his monotone comfort zone on Sour Nothings, as he does on the half-sung “crystal castle,” or finds a beat he can bounce to (see “Smokathon”), he’s extremely compelling. You’ll want to keep your eyes, and ears, tuned to his next step. cASEY JARMAn. Kelly’s Olympian, 426 SW Washington St., 228-3669. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+

Project Pabst: The Sonics, Pierced Arrows, Fireballs of Freedom

[GARAGE] the Sonics’ reformation and subsequent tour is the stuff of death-row last requests. the tacoma band is the quintessential rock outfit; the guys made it look raunchy, cool and like anyone could do it—all you needed was to save enough allowance to buy a department-store guitar. If you aren’t familiar with the divine, distorted howl of Gerry Roslie screaming like his loafers are engulfed in flames, don’t even call yourself a

cont. on page 75

MARTELL WEBSTER THURSDAY, JULY 16 On the day I reach Martell Webster at home in Portland, the NBA draft is a few hours away. You’d think that would make a good icebreaker when speaking to a former Blazers lottery pick. “I don’t care about that, anyway,” says the 28-year-old veteran swingman, currently a member of the Washington Wizards. “Not as much as I used to.” That’s understandable. Webster has enough to preoccupy his mind without worrying about the rookies he might or might not play against next year. Like launching his record label, EYRST, and finishing his debut mixtape. Webster is hardly the first baller to nurture a nascent rap career, but he is one of the few for whom it is more than a vanity project or an offseason distraction. It might be his next step. After multiple back surgeries, Webster has considered retirement when his current contract expires. If music hasn’t eclipsed basketball for him, they’re at least neck and neck. But Webster, who grew up outside Seattle, says he’s always had one foot on the court and the other in more creative pursuits. Some of his fondest childhood memories involve sneaking into his uncle’s band’s jam sessions and watching his cousins kick rhymes in the park. “I was like, ‘Oh my gosh, this ridiculous. Is this what real life is?’” he says. “I thought I was supposed to be playing balltag and hide-and-seek and shit, but this is what it’s about.” In his teens, basketball took over. A five-star recruit coming out of high school, Webster skipped college and went straight to the NBA, getting drafted sixth overall by Portland in 2005. But as his career progressed, taking him to Minnesota and then Washington, D.C., rap took on increasing importance. And as injuries have forced him to face his basketball mortality, it became a point of solace. “Going through my ups and downs,” he says, “I found in that time, instead of thinking of things I couldn’t control, why don’t I just express myself on the notepad?” That writing informs A.R.T.T., Webster’s mixtape still in the making. But don’t expect a lot of talk about pick-and-rolls and no-trade clauses: The title is an acronym for “Anybody Relates To This.” In February, Webster, under the alias Sui Generis, released a video for “Disposition,” a track he calls “a tribute to my Seattle roots.” Shot in the coastal woods of Washington and featuring an airy beat from local producer Neill Von Tally—his partner in EYRST—it’s a much more artful effort than one might expect, with Webster showing off a confident, energetic flow. It bodes well for the full project, as well for his label, which just signed Willamette Week Best New Band finalist Myke Bogan. Webster is aware of the public’s suspicion of athletes double-dipping in other media, but he isn’t worried. Because, while the saying goes that basketball never stops, Webster knows better than most that it doesn’t go on forever. “When you think about it, basketball is a glitch in the big scheme of our life. It does not last that long,” he says. “I have 50, 60 years of living after I’m done playing. I don’t buy in too much into what people think about my music, especially the NBA aspect. That’s not my life. That’s what I do. It’s part of it. But it doesn’t embody my life.” MATTHEW SINGER. Can a former Blazer shake the ballerturned-rapper stigma?

SEE IT: Martell Webster plays the EYRSt Label Launch at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with Myke Bogan, Blossom, Ripley Snell and neill Von tally, on thursday, July 16. 9 pm. $9 advance, $12 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

SATURDAY

SATURDAY, JULY 18 Graham Nash

[HARMONY HERO] Graham Nash, whose glorious high tenor seemed forever destined to remain in the shadows of David Crosby’s mustache, has never been the household name his CSNY cohorts turned out to be. Nonetheless, he bears the unique distinction of being the only member of that group who didn’t turn out to be kind of a dick. He’s kept a relatively low proﬁle in the decades following the breakup of CSN(Y), but when your former bandmates become more well-known for drug busts, releasing failed MP3 players and wearing gigantic Hawaiian shirts, maybe that’s not such a bad thing. CASEY HARDMEYER. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 8 pm. $56. Under

MIC CHECK

21 permitted with legal guardian.

Project Pabst: BadBadNotGood, Ghostface Killah, Del the Funky Homosapien, Def3

[SOUNDTRACK RAP] Though the music of Toronto instrumental jazz-funk trio BadBadNotGood is engaging on its own, listening to 2014’s III makes it hard not to think, “What if MF Doom spit over this?” Sometimes dreams become reality: Soul Sour sees the band collaborating for a full album with Ghostface Killah and a slew of guests, including the masked MC himself. Soul Sour is undoubtedly a live-band hip-hop album, warts and all. While “Gunshowers” skronks along like Portishead remixing Supreme Clientele, other songs, like “Tone’s Rap,” are too slow to really take oﬀ. Ghostface isn’t in top form here, but he doesn’t need to be: The music does most of the talking. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 9 pm. $22 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.

CONT. on page 76

PREVIE

STRAND OF OAKS The joke about playing a country song backwards and the singer getting his wife, dog and truck back is all but worn out, but Timothy Showalter has had plenty of reasons throughout the years to try it anyway. Showalter pens achingly spare folk tunes under the moniker Strand of Oaks, a few of which are about his house burning down, his wife cheating on him and his hero, singer-songwriter Jason Molina, slowly drinking himself to death. The tandem of Showalter’s on-record demeanor and the sad-dude mythology the press has woven around him would lead anyone to wonder how he even gets out of bed in the morning, but the release of his barnstorming roots-rock record Heal feels more on par with the real Timothy Showalter than anything we’ve heard before. The guy’s a bornagain rocker with the simple vision of willing the kind of blazing Americana you’d expect from contemporaries like Dinosaur Jr. and My Morning Jacket (the latter of which he’s opening for on an upcoming theater tour) into existence, despite the turmoil that’s defined him as a songwriter. With a full band in tow, it’s no longer despair that drives Strand of Oaks: It’s vindication. And a lot of riffs. PETE COTTELL.

COURTESY OF BILLIONS

rock fan until you put their catalog to memory. And that includes their recent, post-reformation album, This Is the Sonics, which in and of itself is a miracle not even the Pixies could pull oﬀ. CRIS LANKENAU. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $10. 21+.

MUSIC

WW: A lot of interviews have painted a picture where all this catastrophe in your life has been presented in a very open way in your music. Do you feel like it’s still worth it to be so earnest about these things going forward? Timothy Showalter: People have definitely taken it and ran with it. I read one article where I’ve been married like three times. I’ve only been married once and I’m still married. The press is like a game of telephone sometimes. I look at Dylan and sometimes he said he was born in Mexico or was a gypsy’s child or whatever. I just talk and see what happens. It’s nice to have really terrible things turn into good things, which is songs. It’s a form or being productive rather than killing yourself. Moving forward, I’m deep into the writing process of the next record and I know that every record is going to be different. I can’t be one of those bands that develops a sound over four records. It changes because I have ADHD or whatever. I want to try to take a break from negative things in my life and try to get my shit together and be a bit more positive with the music, too. I think even when we play sad songs live they’re not about going to pity yourself. It’s more like, let’s celebrate that life is shit sometimes and we’re still here breathing oxygen and it’s all right. SEE IT: Strand of Oaks plays MusicfestNW at Tom McCall Waterfront Park on Sunday, Aug. 23. Go to musicfestnw.com for tickets. See wweek.com for an extended Q&A. Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

200 Hour Teacher Training with Annie Adamson and friends

Part 1

wweek.com

9/28–10/8 2015

Part 2

1/18–1/28 2016

Part 3 (+ retreat)

5/23–6/2 2016

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MUSIC

SATURDAY–TUESDAY/CLASSICAL, ETC.

Project Pabst: The Coathangers, Is/Is, Marriage Cancer

[GARAGE GRRRLS] Like fellow Atlantans Black Lips, the Coathangers are a prime example of how boneheaded simplicity can inform some of the most entertaining fusions of styles that add up to punk. Imagine SleaterKinney torching through a set of Buzzcocks covers and you’re somewhere close. PETE COTTELL. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9:30 pm. $12. 21+.

Project Pabst: Roky Erickson, the Pynnacles

[PSYCHEDELIC ROCK] Roky Erickson, of psych legends the 13th Floor Elevators, had long been considered something of an LSD casualty a la Syd Barrett. He suffered from mental illness and was a strange, reclusive figure. In truth, Erickson was a confused, hermitic guy with schizophrenia. The nutshell version of events is that his brother finally got him medicated and playing music again. He even got some Texan indie heavy hitters like Okkervil River and the Black Angels to play on his comeback records. This is an increasingly rare chance to catch one of rock’s most enigmatic performers. CRIS LANKENAU. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. Sold out. 21+.

SUNDAY, JULY 19 Project Pabst: The Mummies, Gaythiest, Sex Crime

[GARAGE PUNK] The raucous, hilarious California band the Mummies formed in the late ’80s with a simple formula: play a light-speed version of early, Little Richard-era rock ’n’ roll while wearing tattered mummy costumes. They’ve played a few one-oﬀ gigs in the past decade and haven’t released anything since 2003, when they broke their strict, vinyl-only policy with the CD compilation Death by Unga Bunga. Between this and the Sonics gig, anyone with a burgeoning interest in garage rock is in for one hell of a history lesson. CRIS LANKENAU. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., 2266630. 7 pm. Sold out. 21+.

MONDAY, JULY 20 Dick Diver, the Woolen Men

[COLLEGE CLASSICS] Much like Tender Is the Night, the Fitzgerald novel from which Dick Diver got its name, the Australian band’s third album, Melbourne, Florida, is the stuff of collegiate discovery. The superb collection of tunes showcases the group’s ability to pen jangly, melodic numbers fit for the college charts, ones aimed at working stiffs who can’t seem to catch a break. Frontman Rupert Edwards’ melancholic songs bubble with caustic wordage under a surface of strummed guitars and bass, writing about family strife, class warfare and the wretched feelings invoked by reading an ex-lover’s email. BRANDON WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 288-3895. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

TUESDAY, JULY 21 John Mellencamp

[COUGARTOWN] America, fuck yeah! Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm. $52.50-$133. All ages.

Jane’s Addiction, the Moth and the Flame

[DIONYSIAN ROCK] Maybe it’s Dave Navarro’s dalliances with reality television, or Perry Farrell’s tequila-shilling, or the band’s continual cycle of cash-in reunions

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

and break-ups. But for whatever reason, over the last two decades, the legacy of Jane’s Addiction has deteriorated to the point that it’s hard to find any trace of the group’s influence on the current music landscape. Nothing’s Shocking, the band’s classic 1988 debut, loosened the hinges that allowed Nirvana to kick down the door and usher in the alternative era, welding together post-Zeppelin guitar thunder, backbreaking funk and doomsday psychedelia. into a sound big enough to fill stadiums and weird enough to play in fetish clubs and drug dens. On second thought, maybe no one sounds like Jane’s Addiction today because no one else can. Tonight, the band plays Nothing’s Shocking in full, and while it’s hard to consider the group a totally “relevant” concern, but the band’s past still scorches most others’ present. MATTHEW SINGER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., 225-0047. 8:30 pm. Sold out. 21+.

Rush

[RUSH!] Rush’s 40th anniversary tour may be coming a year late, but the timing couldn’t be better. Snubbed by critics and holier-thanthou rock fans for decades, Rush has ﬁnally been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and recently graced the cover of Rolling Stone. These accolades are long overdue, and nothing has helped polish the band’s image more than the 2010 documentary Rush: Beyond the Lighted Stage. What’s most important now, though, is the fact that this is “probably” the last extensive tour the prog heroes will embark on, and the set list has true fans in ecstasy. It’s a three-hour reverse chronological voyage that starts with material from Clockwork Angels, and proceeds all the way to the band’s “Working Man” beginnings. NATHAN CARSON. Moda Center, 1401 N Wheeler Ave., 2358771. 7:30 pm. $46-$126. All ages.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Cascadia Composers

[FUTURE OF MUSIC] Generations of kids forced to slog away at centuries-old music during their piano lessons should appreciate the partnership between Cascadia Composers and local music teachers. The annual concert pairs young piano students with Oregon composers so the kids learn by playing music of their own time and place and not just, say, 19thcentury Vienna. This year’s roster includes top composers like Lisa Marsh, Jennifer Wright, Daniel Brugh and Paul Safar. Last year’s concert produced music that was deﬁnitely lively and sophisticated enough to be played—and enjoyed—by grownups, too. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., 222-2031. 4 pm Thursday, July 16. Free. All ages.

Harry Connick Jr.

[DAD JAZZ] Regardless of how you feel about American Idol, neo-Rat Pack crooner Harry Connick Jr. is one of the the most talented men in show business. The three-time Grammy Awardwinning New Orleans native— who, lest we forget, also played a ﬁghter pilot in Independence Day—is a brilliant pianist and tap dancer and heads one of the best jazz-pop bands in the world. A large outﬁt with brilliant soloists (this gig pays well), Connick and his group swing hard but with clean-cut poise, recalling the days of Sinatra. PARKER HALL. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 8 pm Friday, July 17. $57-$139. All ages.

Cathedral Park Jazz Festival

[PARK SWING] The best-located jazz festival in the state returns for the 35th time, now run by the Jazz Society of Oregon. It’s still an ideal place to see top local talent. The shady lawn under the

CLASSICAL, ETC. St. Johns Bridge hosts up-andcoming artists like Portland soul saxophonist Hailey Niswanger, the young musicians in the Portland Youth Jazz Orchestra and vocalist Paul Creighton’s tribute to Stevie Wonder. There should be no shortage of good vibrations in the city’s most scenic park. PARKER HALL. Cathedral Park, North Edison Street and Pittsburg Avenue. Friday-Sunday, July 17-19. See cpjazz.com for complete schedule. Free. All ages.

Chamber Music Northwest

[COMIC CLASSICAL] For once, uber-solemn classical music stops taking itself so seriously. The annual Chamber Music Northwest festival honors American composer Peter Schickele (better known in his persona as PDQ Bach) with an

MUSIC

80th-birthday bash on Friday at Portland Center Stage, his lecture about humor in music on Sunday afternoon. On Monday, the festival brings in the next generation of musical humorists, Igudesman & Joo, the hilarious violin and piano duo whose family-friendly “A Little Nightmare Music” punctures classical-music stuﬃness with slapstick routines that appeal to both classical-music insiders and anyone who appreciates sharp physical comedy. BRETT CAMPBELL. Multiple venues. Thursday-Monday, July 17-20. Multiple venues and start times. See cmnw.org for complete schedule. All ages.

M U S ICFE STNW wAterFront PArk August 21-23 musicFestnw.com/tickets

3-daY pass

140

FridaY 8/21

For more Music listings, visit

ALBUM REVIEWS

MIKE COYKENDALL HALF PAST, PRESENT PENDING (FLUFF AND GRAVY) [SINGER-SONGWRITER] Mike Coykendall is known primarily for his role as a producer and engineer who helps build robust soundscapes for some of Portland’s best bands, from M. Ward to Blitzen Trapper. His own solo albums are thoroughly fleshed-out affairs. So the prospect of a back-to-basics album recorded with Coykendall’s minimal live setup of guitar, drums and reverb seemed a scary prospect—like a tightrope walker turning down a net for the first time. He certainly doesn’t splat on the concrete. Coykendall is savvy enough to twist his simple “rig” setup into a baker’s dozen of different sounds, from the raunchy fuzz of “Spacebaker Blues” to the Byrds-y “You Don’t Have to Treat You that Way,” all wrapped up in shimmery reverb. In fact, some of the best songs on Half Past, Present Pending—a collection that mixes new and old tunes—are the simplest, both in production and delivery. “Travel Round the World” finds Coykendall at his most vulnerable, while “Hard Landing” underscores the depth of Coykendall’s ability both as a songwriter and studio wizard. The songs don’t have Dylan’s devious wordplay or Elliott Smith’s pain, but they are ample in craft and honesty, which goes an awful long way. CASEY JARMAN. SEE IT: Mike Coykendall plays nine album release shows, beginning at Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., with Fernando and the Jeremy Wilson Band, as part of Project Pabst, on Saturday, July 18. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+. See mikecoykendall.com for information on the rest.

THE DOMESTICS THE DOMESTICS (TENDER LOVING EMPIRE) [POP ROCK] There’s an intriguing dichotomy at work with the Domestics, one that enhances each musical story of heartbreak and longing told by principal members Michael Finn and Leo London. On the Domestics’ self-titled debut, the listener is treated to dueling perspectives, offering balance, a thickness of sound and, most important, a focus on the lyrics: “I wanna be your sparkler in the yard,” Finn sings in opener “American Drag.” “I wanna call you my national guard.” As a pop-rock outfit, the narrative spotlight is important. It’s clean and compelling rock ’n’ roll brought to higher, more memorable ground via the duo’s seesawing singer-songwriter roles. Like Dr. Dog, the Domestics can seemingly change from track to track, sometimes within a single song. From “Jenny Says,” a jangly number Lou Reed would have certainly endorsed, to the three-part wall of guitars on “It Came to Me,” The Domestics serves gritty, real-life shit on a clean platter. The anguish of “Tower Blocks” reminds of Girls, while the finale, “What a Life,” is a true rock ballad, a climactic, piano-and-guitar-led song that Elliott Smith might have liked to cover. Finn and London combine the pop sensibilities of many and the narrative detail of few. More impressive, the Domestics function as a two-headed animal, affording texture to each tale and its corresponding sound. MARK STOCK. SEE IT: The Domestics play Tender Loving Empire, 3541 SE Hawthorne Blvd., with Boone Howard, on Friday, July 17. 5:30 pm. Free. All ages.

Foster the PeoPle

Misterwives • Milo Greene • lost lander

satUrdaY 8/22 $

Beirut

Belle and SeBaStian • twin Shadow • BattleS • title Fight • CayuCas talk in tongueS • SaleS • alialujah Choir

sUndaY 8/23 $

modest mouse

the talleSt Man on earth • danny Brown • the helio SequenCe lady laMB • Strand oF oakS • Pure Bathing Culture • diverS • Beat ConneCtion

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR

[JULY 15-21] Peter’s Room

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: Mitch Lillie. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com. For more listings, check out wweek.com.

8 NW 6th Ave Mark Battles, Derek Luh

Rotture

315 SE 3rd Ave. Foxxy Newport, Your Boyfriend, Plyglamoury, Body Academics

Star Theater

LAST WEEK LIVE COURTNEY THEIM

13 NW 6th Ave Josh Abbott Band, Kylie Rae Harris

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Satanarchist, Shroud of the Heretic and More Hell

The liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St. Fog Father, Seance Crasher, Sinless

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Cascadia Composers

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St. Pink Lady & John Bennett Jazz Band

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Blvd. Moral Crux, Whiskey Dickers, Muddy River Nightmare Band, Clackamas Baby Killers

White eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. Harmed Brothers, Aaron Lee Tasjan, Pat Kearns

Wilf’s Restaurant & Bar 800 NW 6th Ave. Peter Petersen Trio

THE SOUND OF SETTLING: There was a brief moment in the mid-2000s when this band from a quaint college town in Washington threatened to be the Most Important Band in America. But while the tone and aesthetic of emo shifted, Death Cab for Cutie stayed put, charting the safest course possible toward crowd-pleasing mediocrity. Next stop: a grassy amphitheater on the outskirts of your hometown. The band’s set at Edgefield on July 8 opened with “No Room in Frame,” a quintessentially slow-burning Death Cab number that also opens recent release Kintsugi, the group’s first record since the departure of guitarist Chris Walla. The newer tracks were adequate in proving frontman Ben Gibbard’s skill as an arranger and songsmith on his own, but the warbling crescendos that made 2003’s Transatlanticism an instant classic are sorely missed when cuts like “You’ve Haunted Me All My Life” and “Everything’s a Ceiling” are finally aired out in a live setting. This is no knock on Dave Depper, the Portlander who replaced Walla, and his ability to fill the role of Gibbard’s melodic counterpart. The guitarist crushed it as much as anyone possibly could given the material. But I’d definitely be lying if I said I didn’t spend 75 percent of the show wishing I had a sweet beach chair with an insulated cup holder to zone out in. PETE COTTELL. See the full review at wweek.com/lastweeklive.

FRi. July 17 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Fanna Fi Allah

Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Ave Harry Connick Jr.

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash St. Jex Thoth, Atriarch, Ides of Gemini, and Barrowlands

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Project Pabst: Chrome

Cathedral Park

North Edison Street and Pittsburg Avenue Cathedral Park Jazz Festival

dante’s

Wed. July 15 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. John Mayall

Alberta Rose Theatre

3000 NE Alberta St. Chamber Music Northwest Club Concert: The French Connection

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Ray Davies Day: Benefit for Oregon Music Hall of Fame

dante’s

350 W Burnside St The Harmless Doves

doug Fir lounge

830 East Burnside Street Pokey LaFarge, Cahalen Morrison & Country Hammer

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Knuckleheads, Arthur Moore

edgefield

2126 SW Halsey St. Big Harp

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Small Skies, Wishyunu

Jade lounge

Fez Fatale

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Christopher Brown Quartet, Mel Brown Quartet

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Rose City Round: Jason Lytle (Grandaddy), Garth Klippert (Old Light), Topher Walberg (Dead Teeth)

laurel Thirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. The Good Time Travellers (9 pm); The Quick & Easy Boys (6 pm)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Northwest String Summit Kick-Of Party, Cow and the Canyon & Allie Kral, Jay & Mimi, World’s Finest

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Countless the Dead & Bleak

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Blowout, Bud Bronson & The Goodtimers

2342 SE Ankeny St.

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

White eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St. The Down Hill Strugglers

THuRS. July 16 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Junk Parlor, Gold Star Dance Company

Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St Young Elk, The Late Great, Chris Benson of Supercrow

Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd Ceremony, Tony Molina, Creative Adult, & Private Room

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. Jackson Boone, Charts, Fur Coats

dante’s

350 W Burnside St Riot, Pushy and DJ Dennis Dread

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Banditos

Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave.

Lotus Crush, My Body Sings Electric, Girl on Fire, Pediment

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. EYRST Label Launch Party

Jade lounge

2342 SE Ankeny St. Mel Brown B3 Organ Group, Jaimie’s Salon de Music

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Paste, Disco Teeth

laurel Thirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. The Colin Trio (9:30 pm); Lewi Longmire & Friends (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza Pub.

3552 N. Misssissippi Ave Macaulay Balkan, Trio Tsuica

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Memory Tapes, Computer Magic, School Dance

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Defeated Sanity, Carnivore Diprosopus, Skinned, Devour

350 W Burnside St The Spits, The Epoxies and Long Knife

doug Fir lounge

830 East Burnside Street Shannon and the Clams, Chastity Belt, the Shivas

duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Big Sandy and His FlyRite Boys

Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Ave. Fu Manchu

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Chuck Israels Jazz Orchestra

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Live

Kelly’s Olympian

David E. Lane & the Tipsy Ramblers

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Tacocat, the Ghost Ease, Shadowlands

Oregon Zoo Amphitheater

4001 SW Canyon Rd Needtobreathe, Switchfoot, Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors, and Colony House

3552 N. Misssissippi Ave

Kells Brewpub

210 NW 21st Ave. Sami Live

laurel Thirst Public House

1300 SE Stark St, #110 Project Pabst: Preservation Hall Jazz Band, Son Little, Son Little

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Coloring Electric Like, Orion and DARA

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. From Ashes Rise, The Siege Fire and Black Theory

The Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Reverb Brothers

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St. The Hugs, Dedric Clark and the Social Animals, Pacific Mean Time

The Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave Portland’s Not Dead

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St. Eddy Detroit Band, Audios Amigos, Roselit Bone

Velo Cult

1969 NE 42nd Ave. Bamberger, Engel, Hines, Eave

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. The Stubborn Lovers

Zidell yards

3030 SW Moody Ave. Project Pabst: The Spits, The Expoxies

426 SW Washington St. Duke Evers

2958 NE Glisan St. Jerry Joseph, Walter Salas-Humara

Mississippi Pizza Pub.

3552 N. Misssissippi Ave AmySue Berlin, Dana Louise

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Coathangers

Oregon Zoo

4001 SW Canyon Rd. Zoolala

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd. Thom Simon & Oceanside Static

Peter’s Room

8 NW 6th Ave Snow Tha Product, Audio Push

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Roky Erickson, The Pynnacles

Starday Tavern

6517 SE Foster Road Mr. Musu

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave. Rilla, Stiff Other Lip and Burst Suppression

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Spring, Yeah Great Fine, Jackson Boone

The Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Nick Blechman Duo

The Spare Room

SAT. July 18

4830 NE 42nd Ave Cool Breeze

Aladdin Theater

Turn! Turn! Turn!

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. Graham Nash

Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St. Jonatha Brooke

Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd The Ataris

Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St. SubRosa, Brothers of the Sonic Cloth, Lesbian, and Eight Bells

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W. Burnside Project Pabst: BadBadNotGood, Ghostface Killah, Del the Funky Homosapien, Def3

8 NE Killiingsworth St Teleporter 4, Hollow Sidewalks, The Zags

Twilight Cafe and Bar

1420 SE Powell Blvd. Spare Spells, Woodwinds, Ahundred Huevos

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. South Saturn Delta, Reverb Brothers

Zidell yards

3030 SW Moody Ave. Project Pabst Music Festival: BadBadNotGood, Ghostface Killah, Del the Funky Homosapien, Oblivains, Pure Country Gold

dante’s

350 W Burnside St Oblivians, Pure Country Gold

doug Fir lounge

1190 SW 1st Ave Harefest 5

Mississippi Pizza Pub.

221 NW 10th Ave. Ettas World & Hot Tea Cold

Revolution Hall

8 NW 6th Ave SonReal

laurel Thirst Public House

3552 N Mississippi Ave. POPgoji

Jimmy Mak’s

Kelly’s Olympian

830 East Burnside Street Fernando, Jeremy Wilson, Mike Coykendall

Mississippi Pizza

1503 SE Cesar E Chavez Blvd. Perfect Monster, Bitch School, Misfortunes of Mr. Teal

Peter’s Room

426 SW Washington St. Sour Nothings, Keegan Baurer, Tha Emcee, Cashis Game

2958 NE Glisan St. Kris Deelane & The Hurt

Hawthorne Theatre lounge

Harefest

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Ave. Young Rising Sons, Hunter Hunted, Dreamers

Sun. July 19 Al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Second Cousins

Alberta Rose Theatre

The Mummies, Sex Crime

doug Fir lounge

830 East Burnside Street Pickin’ On Sundays

laurel Thirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St. Freak Mountain Ramblers (9 pm); Pagan Jug Band (6 pm)

Mississippi Pizza Pub.

3552 N. Misssissippi Ave Nikki n’ The Pathos

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Seryn

Rontoms

600 E. Burnside St. Sunday Sessions

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. The Numb Bats

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St. Marshall Mclean Band, Anna Tivel and Jeffrey Martin

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St. The Grand Style Orchestra

White eagle Saloon 836 N Russell St. Rob Johnston

Zidell yards

3030 SW Moody Ave. Project Pabst: The Mummies

MOn. July 20 Al’s den

303 SW 12th Ave. Second Cousins

Blue diamond

2016 NE Sandy Blvd. Hot Tea Cold

doug Fir lounge

830 East Burnside Street Frnkiero and the Cellabration, Homeless Gospel Choir

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. The Dan Balmer Trio

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Dick Diver, the Woolen Men

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave KMFDM, Chant

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St. Vasudeva, The Hague, Outerspace Heaters

The Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

TueS. July 21 Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Ave John Mellencamp, Carlene Carter

Crystal Ballroom 1332 W. Burnside Jane’s Addiction, Performing

director Park

815 SW Park Ave Dina y Los Romberos

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Septet, Mac Potts

3000 NE Alberta St. Anne Feeney, Dana Lyons, Chris Chandler & Paul Benoit

Mississippi Studios

Analog Cafe

1 N. Center Ct. Rush

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd Mosby, Pseudoboss, Ghost Parade, Eyes on the Shore

dante’s

350 W Burnside St

3939 N Mississippi Ave. The Suffers, Pigwar

Moda Center

JULY 15–21

MUSIC CALENDAR CHRISTINE DONG

BAR REVIEW

Where to drink this week. 1. Loyal Legion

705 SE 6th St., 235-8272allegionpdx.com. Kurt Huﬀman’s 99-tap, Oregon-only beer bar is now open with perhaps the longest single bar surface in Portland arranged around the taps. There are few rarities on tap despite the large selection—just a whole hell of a lot of solid beer from around the state, with an experimental $6-for-everybeer, no-tips policy.

2. Culmination Brewing

2117 NE Oregon St., 353-6368, culminationbrewing.com. After a slow start, Culmination actually has its own brew in nearly half of its 21 tap handles, but the real show for summer is its patio seating in a funny little neighborhood that’s somehow half-trucking, half-condo. Get a saison or the zesty citrus sour.

3. Shift Drinks

1200 SW Morrison St., 922-3933, shiftdrinkspdx.com. Order the “drinking tobacco”—actually a richly ﬂavorful vermouth—or a heartbreakingly good Palermo Viejo #2 ($10) with gin, Cynar, grapefruit liqueur, mint and bitters, plus one of the richly adorned bruschettas ($8), thick as garlic bread.

5. Dusk Til Dawn: Casa Diablo II

8445 SE McLoughlin Blvd., 222-6610, dusktildawn.club. The third entry in Johnny Diablo’s meatless stripclub empire (nonetheless titled as the second) is a tiny box tightly arranged around a central stage so that pretty much everybody ends up on close terms with everybody.

5. Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd., 235-7972. Club 21’s owners have done less a full-scale remodel of the decades-old Handy Slut than the sort of rearrangement a mother might give her son’s bedroom after he ﬁnally moves out: scrub the stink out of the carpets, move some furniture around and open a damn window.

THE WINDOW SHUTS: The inner eastside sure is fancy these days. No longer do visitors want to stay in a humble Red Lion (actual marketing slogan: “Affordable Hotels”) and drink at a faux-upscale bar called Windows Skyroom and Lounge that served something called a “pork parfait.” Today’s sophisticated consumers now have Hotel Eastlund (“the finest luxury boutique hotel in downtown Portland’s thriving Eastside”), which is topped by a beery pub called Altabira (1021 NE Grand Ave., 963-3600, altabira.com). Well, the windows are still the best feature—you have an incredible view of the eastside from the modernist steel patio furniture at this spacious bar, which has floor-to-ceiling glass walls facing west, toward what we used to call downtown, before this eastside hotel expanded its footprint. The hotel itself is tasteful, midscale, midcentury modern. Take the elevator to the top to reach the new domain of restaurateur David Machado (Lauro Kitchen, Nel Centro), who’s assembled a long list of localish beers and a pretty decent bistro burger with white cheddar and caramelized onions on brioche ($7 during happy hour, and the same size as the regular $14 burger). The $6 happy-hour cocktail, sort of a Moscow Mule spritzer with lots of fresh ginger, is tasty. So is the Pints Seismic IPA, one of a few beers available for $4 during happy hour (4-6 pm daily). Not everything works. Take the pretzel, which was served with—and this was a surprise—salmon spread instead of old-fashioned pimento cheese. It turns out salmon dip does not go very well with a soft pretzel. Sometimes, fancier isn’t better. We should keep that in mind as the moribund, old Lloyd District morphs into “downtown Portland’s eastside.” MARTIN CIZMAR.

Holocene

The GoodFoot Lounge

Moloko Plus

The Lovecraft

1001 SE Morrison St. Rockbox: DJ Kez, Matt Nelkin, DJ Ronin Roc

WED. JULY 15 Ground Kontrol Classic Arcade

THURS. JULY 16 Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. DeeJay Ross Island 8 NW 6th Ave. Dada Life

511 NW Couch St. TRONix

The Liquor Store

Plews Brews

3341 SE Belmont St. Ghosts On Tape

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Electronomicon

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Event Horizon

The Whiskey Bar 31 NW 1st Ave 12th Planet

8409 N. Lombard St. Reggae Roots and Dub Night 421 SE Grand Ave. Shadowplay

FRI. JULY 17 Crystal Ballroom

1332 W. Burnside 80s Video Dance Attack, VJ Kittyrox

421 SE Grand Ave. Brit Pop Dance Night

Roseland Theater

3967 N Mississippi Ave. Brazilian Night with Nik Nice & Brother Charlie

3341 SE Belmont St. Two Planets, Yaarow, and The Arsonists

2845 SE Stark St. Tropitaal Desi Latino Soundclash

The Liquor Store

The Lovecraft

The Whiskey Bar 31 NW 1st Ave Vanic

SAT. JULY 18 Moloko Plus

3967 N Mississippi Ave. NorthernDraw

MON. JULY 20 Cadigan’s Corner Bar 5501 SE 72nd Ave. Fight Church TV, Jessie

The Lovecraft

421 SE Grand Ave. Departures, DJ Waisted and Friends

MORE FRIENDS... MORE FUN!

TUES. JULY 21 Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Late Tunage with KPSU DJ’s

The Lodge Bar & Grill 6605 SE Powell Blvd. DJ Easy Finger

www.underdogportland.com

Call (503) 282-1155 Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

Beyond the Print

MOBILE STAY CONNECTED

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

july 15–21

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ (espitz@wweek.com). Dance: ENID SPITZ (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: espitz@wweek.com.

THEATER OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Agatha on the Rise

Back in October at HART Theatre’s Page to Stage event of new-work readings, the audience liked local playwright Sally Stember’s death comedy best. In honor of their choice, HART is bringing back the tale of Agatha’s endeavors to be buried next to her exhusband, and his extreme attempts to dodge her eternal presence. Turns out murder, burial feuds and failed relationships are really funny. HART Theatre, 185 SE Washington St., Hillsboro, 693-7815. 7:30 pm Fridays, 2 pm Sundays through July 26; 7:30 pm Saturday, July 18. $15.

Cat on a Hot Tin Roof

A horribly brilliant longing throbs at the heart of Tennessee Williams’s play, but this rendition flatlines. Southern belle Maggie (Heather Ovalle) speeds through her lines like she’s reciting them rapid-fire for memory retention. While she sits at her dressing table, primping for Big Daddy’s birthday party and boring her husband Brick with a monologue/rant of her fears and desires, her emotions and words don’t line up. Brick (Tom Walton) is the deadpan drunkard Williams wrote, but we’re missing the deeper sadness behind his cool exterior. No shadow of lost love makes us feel the tragedy as the couple’s current relationship fails. The sole example of Williams’ fiery characters comes from the standin actor Tobias Andersen, this year’s Drammy Lifetime Achievement Award winner. When the original Big Daddy actor fell ill three days before opening night, Anderson took the role, performing on-book. The tragedy here is this: that script is magnificent, but this performance might not be worth the drive. ALLIE DONAHUE. Clackamas Repertory Theatre, 19600 Molalla Ave., Oregon City, 594-6047. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2:30 pm Sunday, through July 19. $30.

Cymbeline

Four hundred years in an alternate future where Rome never fell, the princess Imogen marries a pauper named Posthumus, throwing her kingdom into a downward spiral of old-fashioned slut-shaming and family feuds. Local dance company Anon it Moves swaps its dancing shoes for combat boots in this reimagination of Cymbeline, Shakespeare’s little-known love story. Drawing on its experience in dance, the company uses big movement, especially extended fight scenes choreographed by Portland fighting master Kristen Mun. Expect genderswapping too—this time it’s a lesbian marriage that causes so much strife. Special code: “oversunited” gets you $5 tickets on opening weekend. Miracle Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursday–Sunday, through Aug. 8. $15.

Looking for Olivia

When an unemployed screenwriter poses as the husband of his knockout neighbor Olivia to fool her parents, the act inevitably ignites real sparks. The rom-com from local filmmaker, performer and playwright Steve Coker must outshine trope, though—its film adaptation won best screenplay at 2006’s Swansea Bay International Film Festival in Wales. Director and Twilight Theater co-founder JJ Harris helms the Portland show and one-time Grimm actor Tristan David Luciotti is our lovesick and down-on-his-luck writer. Twilight Theater, 7515 N Brandon Ave., 847-9838. 8 pm Thursday-Saturday, 3 pm Sunday, July 10-26. $15.

Much Ado About Nothing

Darragh Kennan, artistic director of Seattle’s New Century Theatre Company, transplants Shakespeare’s famously confusing comedy onto a 1950’s vineyard set that moves inside, outside and all around Post5’s new Sellwood theater. Real-life couple Ty and Cassandra Boice play Benedick and Beatrice, the gullible jokesters tricked into confessing love for each other, and Post5 resident director Paul Angelo plays the big-wig prince Don Pedro. Post5 Theatre, 1666 SE Lambert St., 971-258-8584. 8 pm Friday-Sunday, July 18 through Aug. 16. $20.

soiree. Five directors come together at Imago for a melange of six strange and erudite productions. Imago’s coartistic director Jerry Mouawad promises to make Charles Baudelaire’s posthumous 1869 book Paris Spleen come alive. Mona Huneidi’s animation explores espionage with a touch of humor. Dancer Kaician Kitko and Imago performer Kyle Delamarter present a scene from their half-finished audio play Deep Grip. Local performance group Liminal showcases an original piece based on the poetry of Austrian novelist and activist Peter Handke. And Kitko ends the night with silent, masked theater. Imago promises more Soirees soon, but #1 sounds like plenty for now. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-3959. 7:30 pm FridaySaturday, 2 pm Sunday. Pay what you can, $10-$20 suggested.

Unnecessary Farce

ALSO PLAYING Thoroughly Modern Millie

Wannabe trendsetter Millie Dillmount— played by local dancer, gymnast and songstress triple-threat Claire Avakian—moves from Kansas to NYC in search of a wealthy hubby in this six-time Tony Award-winner that was crowned 2002’s Best Musical. Highenergy, 1920s-era tap numbers power the production and show off local choreographer Lyn Cramer’s penchant for jazz. Broadway Rose New Stage Theatre, 12850 SW Grant Ave., Tigard, 620-5262. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday, 2 pm Sundays through July 26. No show July 4, extra performance 7:30 pm Wednesday, July 8. $20-$44.

In one cheap motel room an embezzling mayor has unprofessional encounters with his constantly undressing female accountant. In the next room over, two undercover cops attempt to catch it all on tape. This contemporary American plot mixes with classical farce in New York playwright Paul Slade Smith’s popular play, which has been performed in both English and French in 165 productions around the world since 2006. It’s no surprise that shit hits the whirring motel ceiling fans. Whether former Catholic school boy Michael Snider, a University of Portland grad, can make the madness necessary farce is TBD. Lakewood Center for the Arts, 368 S State St., Lake Oswego, 635-3901.

CONT. on page 82

PREVIEW J O N AT H A N L E Y

PERFORMANCE

National Theater Live: Everyman

“Hindsight is 20/20” is taken to the extreme when Death comes knocking on Everyman’s door (yes, that’s the character’s name in this naked allegory). Broadcast in HD from London’s West End, Chiwetel Ejiofor (12 Years a Slave) represents Everyman facing Death in British poet laureate Carol Ann Duffy’s modern adaptation of the 15th-century morality play, directed by National Theater’s artistic director Rufus Norris. Time to think on your sins. World Trade Center Theater, 121 SW Salmon St. 2 pm Sunday, July 19. $20.

Proscenium Live

Portland Shakespeare Project and Proscenium (Portland’s newest free theater quarterly) paired up for this weekend of new works. Sunday night, the series kicks off with three one-act plays directed by Post5 Theatre’s Paul Angelo and Proscenium editorin-chief Steve Rathje. On Monday night, the worst plague in history hits Washington state and everyone is quarantined in local playwright Aleks Merilo’s The Widow of Tom’s Hill. A 19-year-old widow and a young sailor start a dangerous dialogue across the boundary line. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Sunday-Monday. Free.

Risk/Reward

Think of the annual Risk/Reward Festival as speed dating for contemporary performance. Over two weekends, eight regional artists show off new, 20-minute works that blur the boundaries between theater, music and dance. This weekend, the 8th annual fest gives us tips from Seattle artist Tim Smith-Stewart for surviving the dystopian future, an improv portrait of Springfield, Mo., from Midwest transplant Katie Piatt, a vogue show and a dancer on a quest from Seattle choreographer Jessica Jobaris. At 20 minutes each, this is low-risk as far as interpretive theater goes. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 5 pm Sunday. $20.

Shakespeare in the Park: Macbeth

Set among the tombstones on Lone Fir Cemetery, director Matt Pavik’s rendition of Shakespeare’s Scottish tragedy takes on an eerie verisimilitude. Pull yourself back to the pleasant reality of outdoor theater with a handmade picnic of local spreads, breads, sweets and pickles served by new picnic company Peacock Picnics from a bright yellow vintage bus. Twenty percent of the proceeds support Portland Actors Ensemble, which has been performing Shakespeare in the Park every summer for 44 years. Lone Fir Cemetery, Southeast 26th Avenue and Stark Street, 224-9200. 7 pm Thursday-Saturday through July 25. No performance on July 4; 6 pm July 11 at Marylhurst University. Free, donations encouraged.

Soiree #1

You get a bundle of many media forms in one—lo-fi animation, an audio play, a “movement piece” and a premiere performance inspired by poetry—at this

saddle uP: Matthew Grills and Katrina Galka.

THE ELIXIR OF LOVE (PORTLAND OPERA) BEL CANTO IN THE WILD WEST IS A REFRESHING TONIC. If you’re Portland Opera, how do you follow Igor Stravinsky’s prickly, unnerving morality tale, The Rake’s Progress? You veer to the other extreme and close the season with a beloved comedy, Gaetano Donizetti’s L’elisir d’amore (The Elixir of Love). It’s hard to imagine two operas more wildly different. Rake’s lead character dies penniless and demented in an asylum; Elixir ends happily ever after. Rake’s neo-classical music would be impossible to hum; Elixir’s pure vowels and legato bel canto is the perfect recipe for catchy melodies. If you saw Rake and were underwhelmed, Elixir may be the perfect tonic. The elixir of the opera’s title is a bogus love potion, sold by a snake-oil salesman to a country boy named Nemorino, hoping to win the heart of the girl he pines for, Adina. In reality, the potion is just cheap Bordeaux, but Nemorino’s emboldened to act more brashly. After a serpentine maze of plot twists, Adina finds herself smitten. False confidence and noisemaking, the story portends, can make dreams come true. This production is transplanted from late18th-century Basque country to the Wild West, a staging created two years ago for Opera Memphis by Ned Canty, who adapted it for the Portland Opera. An Old West update is a no-brainer for Elixir, Canty says, citing a classic Mel Brooks film as the new staging’s inspiration: “Blazing Saddles is the spiritual godfather of this production.” Lest anyone find it silly for cowpokes and ranch hands to strut around crooning Italian arias,

Canty points to Italy’s long-standing fascination with the American West, from Puccini’s rousing shoot-’em-up, La fanciulla del West (The Girl of the Golden West) to the spaghetti Westerns Sergio Leone immortalized on film. Notably, Elixir’s madcap plot will unfurl not on Portland Opera’s 3,000-seat Keller Auditorium, but at the more intimate, 880-seat Newmark Theatre. This is a good thing. The singers won’t have to ham it up as broadly to convey the libretto’s humor, which veers too slapstick with gratuitous mugging. The pivotal role of Nemorino will be played by tenor Matthew Grills, who you may remember as the standout from Portland Opera’s 2012-2013 season, when he made a big impression as part of the company’s resident artist program. He’s done well for himself since leaving Portland, having sung with big-deal companies like San Francisco Opera and the Bavarian State Opera in Munich. It will be a treat to see him back in town, and especially to hear him perform Elixir’s most famous aria, “Una furtiva lagrima” (“A Furtive Tear”). The quintessence of flowing and ardent expressiveness, the piece was a favorite of history’s most famous tenors, including Enrico Caruso, Beniamino Gigli and Luciano Pavarotti. The songs are gorgeous, but is this 1832 opera still relevant to contemporary theatergoers? Love is certainly still around, and so are snake-oil salesmen. “We have an enduring affection in America for con men and tricksters,” Canty says. “This isn’t an opera for people who wear top hats and monocles and eat Grey Poupon.” RICHARD SPEER. see it: The Elixir of Love is at the Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Friday, July 17; 2 pm Sunday, July 19; and 7:30 Thursdays and Saturdays, July 23-Aug. 1. $60-$95. Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

PERFORMANCE

NEWSLETTER Do you like Free stuFF?

7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 and 7 pm most Sundays, July 10 through Aug. 16; 7:30 pm Wednesday, July 22 and Aug. 5. $32.

up for the audience’s pleasure. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 10 pm Saturday, July 18. $8.

COMEDY & VARIETY

The Brody hosts a thrice-weekly openmic night. Comics get four-minute standup slots and can sign up online. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm every Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Free with one-item minimum purchase.

A Something Kind of Musical

The crowd selects a title for this show and from there anything goes as Brody directors Domeka Parker and Aden Kirschner attempt to build a show around a few words. A local musician plays the show’s live soundtrack, so it’s improv upon improv upon improv. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Saturday, July 18. $12.

Curious Comedy Showdown

Curious Comedy’s improvisers duke it out, in hopes of winning audience votes and advancing to the next round of competition. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm every Friday and Saturday. $12-$15.

Naked Comedy Open Mic

Pop*ulari*tea

Mix the tea with the funny and you have an hour of pleasantries. Camellia Lounge brings standup from Katie Rose Leon, David Mascorro and Brian Nickerson. The hourlong, pop-culture commentary and jokes are hosted by Elizabeth Teets and Sabine Rear. Camellia Lounge, 510 NW 11th Ave., 221-2130. 6:30 pm Saturday, July 18. Free.

DANCE Pretty Creatives

In January, Northwest Dance Project selected Japanese emigrant Yoshito Sakuraba and Julliard graduate Banning Bouldin from a group of applicants to participate in a six-day summer residency to develop new works. Dancers from LAUNCH, the company’s program for dancers seeking to be seen, perform an informal presentation of the worksin-progress. Lincoln Hall, Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 725-3307. 7:30 pm Saturday, July 18. $20-$25.

For more Performance listings, visit

REVIEW D AV I D K I N D E R

Beyond the Print

JULY 15–21

Friday Night Fights

Competitive improv, with two teams battling for stage time. Curious Comedy, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 9:30 pm every ﬁrst and third Friday. $5; free with the purchase of a ticket to the 7:30 pm show.

Helium Open Mic

Generally regarded as the best open-mic night in town, Helium’s sign-ups ﬁll quickly. Show up between 6 and 7 pm to snag some stage time. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm every Tuesday. Free with a twoitem minimum. 21+.

http://bit.ly/wwnewsletter

Hive Five

Two diﬀerent improv games set the stage for Brody’s Friday-night showcase, starring a rotating cast from the comedy theater’s expert ensemble. No matter the premise, no two shows are the same. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 8 pm Friday. $12.

Jim Gaffigan

Grammy Award nominee, New York Times best-seller and, surprisingly, a father of five, Gaffigan is a renowned comedian, executive producer and star of TV Land’s The Jim Gaffigan Show. We’re sure the audience will be catching the humor in “Contagious,” his latest tour. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 2484335. 7 and 9:30 pm Saturday, July 18. $46.75-$72.25. All ages.

R E S TAU R A N T S NEWPORT FLORENCE CANNON BEACH TAFT OTTER ROCK PORTLAND AIRPORT

Jo Koy

Tacoma, Wash., native Koy ditched the Las Vegas coﬀeehouse he worked for to become one of Variety magazine’s “10 Comics to Watch.” A frequent round-table guest on Chelsea Lately, Koy’s ﬁrst Comedy Central special, Don’t Make Him Angry, led to highly anticipated follow-up Lights Out. His high-energy, family-inspired humor has many mentions of hilarious moments he’s experienced with his son. We’re sure parents and grown-up children alike will get a kick out of this single dad’s quips. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, 7:30 and 10 pm, FridaySaturday, July 16-18. $25-$53. 21+.

Kickstand Comedy Mixtape

Formerly held at the Kickstand Comedy space, this improv jam brings its citywide performance to Brody for a free night of laughs. It’s one big, hilarious showdown featuring ensembles from other improv theaters and local groups. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 9:30 pm Tuesday, July 21. Free.

Mixed Match

moschowder.com 82

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

The Brody ensemble welcomes a variety of special guests and groups from within Portland’s improv community for Mixed Match. The showcase demonstrates Brody performers matching the improv techniques and specialties of their invitees, including long form, short form and storytelling acts. The format is all mixed

BARD BROMANCE: Allen Nause (left) and Michael Mendelson.

TWELFTH NIGHT (PORTLAND SHAKESPEARE PROJECT) So far this summer, Portland theater has given us Richard III in a park, The Merry Wives of Windsor in a park and Macbeth in a cemetery. Post5 Theatre mixed things up by staging Much Ado About Nothing in its new Sellwood space’s backyard—which looks like a park. Twelfth Night inside Artists Rep’s black box theater is no respite from the tyranny of the Bard, but it is air-conditioned. This Night could be easily mistaken for a PBS cartoon of Shakespeare’s gayest comedy, untouched—pristine velvet breeches, blue moonlight, chirping sparrows. Perhaps that’s the upstanding Brit in guest director Lisa Harrow, who hails from London with Royal Shakespeare Company credits and roles opposite Anthony Hopkins. Fortunately, the acting is far from cold. This story of two separated twins is usually overproduced and slapstick. Instead, Crystal Muñoz (Olivia) eschews gags for an endearing ingénue mannerism, and Dave Bodin as the clueless manservant looks enough like Sean Connery to make him lovably pathetic instead of plain stupid. Upstaging the headlining twins and usual favorite Sir Toby Belch is Allen Nause as the fool. He alternates accents randomly—a weird addition that works as the first act’s speeches drag to doze-worthy lengths. He flips from a fire-and-brimstone pastor to the lovable jester in just a breath. And when singing a tale of unrequited love to two drunkards, Nause’s significant pauses could break the audience’s heart, even if his own audience is too tipsy to notice. There’s something delightfully unnerving about Shakespeare’s dirty lines delivered through this production’s clean lips. It’s like the Berenstain Bears running a crack house. Nause boasting how well-hung he is comes across extra brash because he looks like your teetotaling great-uncle. When Duke Orsino (Michael Mendelson) admires his servant boy’s form—or when Antonio tells Sebastian to buy a toy and meet him at the hotel—is like seeing dildos strung up on power lines outside your neighborhood New Seasons. Except you’re inside, enjoying the sweet breeze of air conditioning. ENID SPITZ. Three hours of Shakespeare is no picnic, but Nause keeps it cool.

SEE IT: Twelfth Night is at Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesdays–Saturdays, 2 pm Sundays through Aug. 2. $35.

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VISUAL ARTS

JULY 15–21

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MEGAN HARNED. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: mharned@wweek.com.

Chromatic Intercession

Isaac Tin Wei Lin draws on sources such as Gorky, Gottlieb and graﬃti to make drawings and paintings that are strongly graphic and formally captivating. Lin’s bold and colorful mark-making with logographic and alphabetic elements is reminiscent of hieroglyphs, as well as musical scores, Chinese characters and calligraphy. His newest body of work will explore putting individual images into groups so that statements become conversations. Through Aug. 15. Adams and Ollman, 209 SW 9th Ave, 724-0684. Opening reception 6-9 pm Thursday, July 16.

Environmental Impact Statement

Environmental Impact Statement is a collaborative multimedia project that seeks to bring attention to land management issues on public lands. The name of the project is derived from the required documentation that the government collects to show potential impacts on the environment before development occurs. This process has been increasingly dismantled by industry and removed from public involvement. The project will reimagine and redeﬁne the form, scope and potential impact of an environmental impact statement through artist research and response. Through this process, EIS will create spaces for expression and conversation around ecological, social and political issues central to public land management on Mount Hood. Surplus Space, 3726 NE 7th Ave. Panel discussion and closing reception 7 pm Friday, July 17.

Habitat: A Video Mandala

Habitat is an impressive installation in a small space. Three walls of video projection of elaborate imagery focus on the artist, Kello Goeller, dancing through altered landscapes. The video opposite the door is the most mandala like, with little figures moving throughout its labyrinthine design. Perpendicular to that projection, another shows close ups of those figures in their niches. There’s actual moss to sit and lie down on. But it’s all overwhelming. Maybe the ceiling would’ve been a better option. At the opening, a local DJ was designing a score for the work, but it was too hot to sit and look and listen for too long, but it’s definitely worth a second or third trip. Bring a friend to brush help off the moss dust. Through July 31. Duplex, 219 NW Couch St., 206-5089.

Horizon With Crow

An exhibition of new work by Rick Bartow, a proliﬁc Native artist from Newport, coincides with his retrospective Things You Know but Cannot Explain, on view at the Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art at the University of Oregon. Bartow creates expressive and mystical drawings paintings and sculptures inﬂu-

enced by his Wiyot heritage and his service during the Vietnam War. With a linear, abstract style, Bartow creates anthropomorphic ﬁgures that feature in cultural stories or serve as personal catharsis. Through July 18. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.

Idea of a Door

Liz Harris is a musician and visual artist based in Astoria. She creates intricate black-ink drawings on paper which she adapts into prints and wall paintings. Expressing the precarious tension between cohesion and dissolution, these compositions are formed from pattern ﬁelds that break apart and mutate, only to reincorporate themselves back into the larger whole. Through July 31. Portland Museum of Modern Art, 5202 N. Albina Ave., 953-0515.

In//Appropriate

What do we talk about when we talk about cultural appropriation? In the barrage of news and analysis about ﬁgures like Rachel Dolezal and Iggy Azalea, it seems like a subject about which almost everyone has an opinion. Examining those opinions brings to light unexpected ways of understanding society and culture. This show is a visual and auditory exploration of appropriation in U.S. culture, featuring the voices and opinions of Portland residents. The show consists of visual work by Portland artist Roger Peet, with contributions from artists Sara Siestreem, Sharita Towne and Gabe Flores. Through July 29. Littman Gallery, Portland State University, Smith Center, Room 250, 1825 SW Broadway.

No Boundaries: Aboriginal Australian Contemporary Abstract Painting

Portland is one of the stops for a traveling exhibition of Aboriginal Australian painting, which will bring this work into conversation with the various abstraction traditions within our own borders. Neither a Western invention nor a stage of development in the telos of art to be fashioned into something higher, abstraction exists whole wherever it’s found as a language for exploring the nature of materials and process, and personal and cross-cultural expression. Through Aug. 16. Mason Ehrman Building Annex, 467 NW Davis St.

The Eve Of…

Christine Wong Yap’s new body of work is a new installation of sculptures and video examining uncertain psychological states. It marks a shift in direction from the artist’s recent work in happiness and positive psychology towards disruptive emotions and intuition. Yap utilizes mirrors, colored vinyl, Mylar, plastic bags and asphaltbased paint to create scenes of light and darkness. Inspired by the deci-

sive moment after setbacks and before actions, the project explores the disassembled self on the eve of re-organization. An example of the work in this series will also be on view in PDX Contemporary Art’s Window Project. Through July 18. Portland ‘Pataphysical Society, 625 NW Everett St., No. 104.

REVIEW

NO BOUNDARIES

The PDX Project

The Portland International Airport carpet: We’ve all walked on and we’ll all miss it. In collaboration with the PDX Project, one of four awardees of the precious Portland airport carpet, One Grand Gallery put out a call to artists for a PDX carpet-themed exhibit. The works on display have been created in response to the carpet itself, airport culture, the death of the carpet: If this carpet could talk, what would it say? Come view the ﬁner points of Portland nostalgia. Through July 31. One Grand Gallery, 1000 E Burnside St., 212-365-4945.

Urban Growth Boundary

Upfor presents recent works by three artists who adapt unorthodox mediums to challenge the traditions of landscape and artistic depiction of nature. Mixed media works by Gregory Euclide, Alex Lukas and Laura Vandenburgh build on and play with the tensions between pastoral and urban stereotypes, oﬀering an indirect but provocative critique in which human’s dominance of our environment is growing without boundary. Through July 18. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111.

Waiting for the Ice Cream to Melt

Impasto, a highly textural painting technique, peaks to near-facetious extremes in Matthew Clifford Green’s new series of oil paintings, but his imagery remains mostly figurative. In one instance, Green gives us a mere eyeball among dabs of paint. Bright colors, simple lines and cartoonish figures revel in the medium’s viscous materiality, becoming so visually tactile they’re almost grotesques. These paintings won’t melt in the heat, so there’s time to enjoy them. Through Aug. 23. Fourteen30 Contemporary, 1501 SW Market St., 236-1430.

Willem Oorebeek

The ﬁrst institutional solo exhibition in the United States by Dutch artist Willem Oorebeek is billed as an “idiosyncratic and deviant crossover between pop and conceptual art.” Oorebeek is a printmaker interested in the representation of the human ﬁgure, media personalities and publicity. His artistic approach features the distortion of print media through lithography in order to re-present the images to us so that we look at familiar pictures in new ways. Through July 19. Yale Union (YU), 800 SE 10th Avenue, 236-7996.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

Abstract Aboriginal art feels a world apart.

BODY MARKS BY PRINCE OF WALES

Despite the curator’s opening salvo that “these painters have gone far beyond the boundaries of their community, their ‘country,’ and the very idea of their work as merely ethno-graphic,” No Boundaries mostly reveals the art world’s continuing struggle to connect nonWestern art to Western audiences. The 46 paintings from nine Aboriginal artists that fill the spacious white walls of the Mason Ehrman Building Annex are hung in a variety of styles. Some are in the single line we’re all familiar with, some in salon groupings of works by multiple artists and some paintings are placed slightly raised and framed on the floor. All textual information is removed from the wall and transplanted to the brochures and gallery map. The effect of this is twofold: First, the works of art are emphasized as objects of pure, aesthetic experience, following in the modernist tradition. Second (a result of the first), the artist’s historical and cultural motivations are erased. The viewer is meant to approach these works as they would any other abstract expressionist painting, with the anticipation of awe and eyes unclouded by colonial lenses. Around 1971, acrylic “dot paintings” arose in central Australia as a style used to transmit knowledge to non-Aboriginal people. The ancient Aboriginal cosmology has many names in its native languages, but for the convenience of English-speaking audiences goes by “the Dreaming.” Dot paintings, as abstract expressionism, were a medium through which Aboriginal artists could communicate freely about the Dreaming without revealing sacred knowledge. They have been perhaps too successful. The show’s presenters claim that these works are not meant to be read or understood iconographically, but felt and experienced emotionally. The thrust of their argument is that the show is contemporary in how it spans cultural boundaries, inspiring a tension in the viewer between knowing and not-knowing. The paintings by the Prince of Wales (Midpul) get at this tension best, featuring rectangles and dots on flat plains of color in various arrangements. These patterns suggest communication trails to the living, breathing communities that produced this art as much as they experiment with the limits of their physical plane.MEGAN HARNED. SEE IT: No Boundaries: Aboriginal Australian Contemporary Abstract Painting is at Mason Ehrman Building Annex, 467 NW Davis St. 2421419, pica.org/event/no-boundaries. Through Aug. 16.

Beyond the Print

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BOOKS

JULY 15–21

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By PENELOPE BASS. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 15 Dawson Barrett

Dawson Barrett’s new book, Teenage Rebels, looks at the policies and political struggles that have shaped the lives of American high-school students over the past century. Hollywood Public Library, 4040 NE Tillamook St., 988-5391. 6 pm. Free.

Michael Farquhar

Author Michael Farquhar’s new book, Bad Days in History: A Gleefully Grim Chronicle of Misfortune, Mayhem, and Misery for Every Day of the Year chronicles historic bad days, including the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, Caligula’s bloody end, and the Apple investor who pulled out in 1977 and missed a $30 billion payoﬀ. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

THURSDAY, JULY 16 Steve Anderson

In his new thriller, The Other Oregon, Steve Anderson delves into the dark side of rural life. Idealistic Portland resident Greg Simmons is tapped by the FBI to go undercover in a militia movement with ties to his long-estranged friend Donny Wilkie, who also holds a damning secret of Simmons’ own past. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

SATURDAY, JULY 18 Portland Zine Symposium

The Portland Zine Symposium returns with its annual two-day conference featuring more than 100 tables, readings and hands-on workshops on this year’s theme, “Tools of the Trade.” Cindy Crabb, author of the stick ﬁgure zine Doris, will have a reading and Q&A at the Independent Publishing Resource Center on Friday night, and the after-party on Saturday will feature a lineup of zinesters from Chicago. Ambridge Event Center, 1333 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 2399921. 11 am-5 pm Saturday-Sunday, July 18-19. Free.

Xavier Garza

Drawing on his experiences growing up in the border town of Rio Grande City, Texas, author and artist Xavier Garza will share stories and talk about his children’s books Lucha Libre: The Man in the Silver Mask and Maximilian and the Mystery of the Guardian Angel. Garza will be joined by two real-life luchadors who will give a demonstration. North Portland Library, 512 N Killingsworth St., 988-5394. 11 am. Free.

MONDAY, JULY 20 Matt Love & Tim Sproul

Matt Love’s creative nonﬁction book, A Nice Piece of Astoria, blends history, essay, memoir, vignette, review and stream of consciousness into a potent image of the coastal town. Joining him will be Tim Sproul, whose new book, Newported, a Poetic Field Guide to the Paciﬁc Coast, explores the phenomenon of joy brought on by isolation. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, JULY 21 Dorothy Black Crow and Jack Lorts

In her new Lakota mystery, The Handless Maiden, about a murder on the Pine Ridge Reservation, Dorothy Black Crow draws on her own experiences as the wife of a Lakota

leader as well as an outsider in the Native American community. She will be joined by poet (and mayor of Fossil, Ore.) Jack Lorts for Milepost 5’s Visiting Artists Series. Milepost 5, 850 NE 81st Ave., 729-3223. 7 pm. Free.

Claire Phillips: Oregon’s Legendary Actress and Spy

Stage actress Claire Phillips became world famous not for one of her performances, but for her role as a World War II spy. Author and ﬁlmmaker Sig Unander will speak about the life of Phillips, sharing archi-

val photos and audio recordings along with stories from his upcoming book, Lonely Courage. Oregon Historical Society, 1200 SW Park Ave., 306-5270. 7-8:30 pm. Free.

Sonya Lea

After Sonya Lea’s husband had surgery to treat appendix cancer, he woke with no memory of their 23 years of marriage. In her painfully honest new memoir from Tin House, Wondering Who You Are, Lea explores the process of two people attempting to build a fresh life together and facing assumptions of identity. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

HOTSEAT

ERNEST CLINE, ARMADA Short of being abducted by a benevolent alien race to save the universe from imminent destruction, author Ernest Cline is living every geek’s ultimate fantasy. His best-selling debut novel, video-game dystopia Ready Player One, will soon be a film directed by Steven Spielberg. His Last Starfighterstyle sophomore title, Armada The Last Geekﬁghter. (Crown, 368 pages, $26), was optioned for film before it was even written. And he drives a customized DeLorean. We asked him about his stance on videogame conspiracies and alien attacks. PENELOPE BASS. WW: Armada is set in Beaverton. Was this to tie in with the local urban myth about the hypnotic Polybius video game? ERNEST CLINE: Oddly enough, that didn’t occur to me until I had already set the story there. The Goonies is set in Oregon, and Stand by Me. And I came through Oregon on my book tour and did a signing in Beaverton, and there were a lot of kids; it seemed like a great place for that kind of wish-fulfillment story. Meanwhile, I was doing research and thinking about video-game urban legends, and then made it a much larger part of the story with the Polybius legend. Are you a believer in conspiracy theories? I think the two biggest urban legends in the history of video games are Polybius and the E.T. cartridges buried in the desert. And I got to be part of a documentary that they made about digging those up and proving they were really there. I actually found old news articles about it, and there was one revisiting the Polybius conspiracy and seemed to get to the bottom of it. The Atari game Tempest, early versions of it, the cycle time on the vector-graphic monitors caused some kids to have epileptic seizures. And I guess kids at Malibu Grand Prix in Beaverton, one got taken away in an ambulance after trying to set a high score on Asteroids. How did you react when you learned that Steven Spielberg was going to direct Ready Player One? Oh my God, I still think it’s like “An Occurrence at Owl Creek Bridge” and I’m making it all up in my head. Or, like, I died in a car accident three years ago. So it’s the alien invasion; what’s your game plan? I’ll fight! Drones are already so cheap, I’ll just institute a localized Earth Defense Alliance around my house and at least defend my neighborhood. I need to get a helicopter; that’s one of my plans for the near future. GO: Ernest Cline signs copies of his books at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651, at 12:30 pm Wednesday, July 15. He reads at Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 800-878-7323, at 7 that evening. Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

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JULY 15–21 REVIEW

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

COURTESY OF UNIVERSAL PICTURES

MOVIES

Editor: ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: espitz@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK Ai WeiWei: The Fake Case

B Picking up where Alison Klayman’s Ai Weiwei: Never Sorry left off, Andreas Johnsen’s documentary Ai Weiwei: The Fake Case finds its titular subject beaten but unbowed. Having been released from jail, where he spent three months on trumped-up tax-evasion charges, Ai is prohibited from leaving Beijing and barred from speaking to the press about his case. Exhausted and frightened, Ai continues his subversive campaign, publishing a screed in Newsweek and making a series of dioramas depicting his imprisonment. “I have a difficult life,” Ai says. “I just have to face it.” Ai is ostensibly unperturbed, and Johnsen’s film doesn’t satisfy our need to see a besieged hero unleashing holy hell. But that’s not the film’s failure—it’s the Chinese government’s victory. NR. CHRIS STAMM. NW Film Center. 4:30 pm Sunday, July 19.

Ant-Man

Paul Rudd tries to save the world via shrinkage, helped along by big man Michael Douglas. Screened after deadline. See wweek.com for Andy Kryza’s review. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, CineMagic, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen Parkway, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, St. Johns Theater.

Ardor

C+ Land-grabbing marauders and native farmers along the Río Paraná clash in Pablo Fendrick’s Ardor, a fever dream of violence and shamanistic deliverance that splits the diﬀerence between Werner Herzog’s mythopoeic jungle sojourns and Sergio Leone’s grandiose Westerns. Gael García Bernal stays quiet and mostly shirtless (not a bad thing) as the mysterious and quasi-mythical Kaí, who is summoned from the forest’s depths to help a besieged farmer and his daughter defend against an especially brutal band of intruders. Fendrik’s attempt to stage cat-and-mouse violence as a hypnagogic trip results in a few brief moments of strange magic, but Ardor too often slips into full-on sleep mode, as the nightmare logic of an intractable standoﬀ unravels into plain old incoherence. NR. CHRIS STAMM. Clinton Street Theater.

Infinitely Polar Bear

B- Mark Ruffalo stars as a bipolar dad forced to care for his two daughters alone when his wife (Zoe Saldana) moves to New York to pursue her career. As you’d expect, sometimes things are terribly awful and other times they’re wonderful. Ruffalo is great throughout, though he does speak weirdly, which makes it seem like bipolar disorder turns you British. And it took me 20 minutes to stop worrying he would hulk out when he got angry. As is the way in these Sundance movies, there are moments of beauty, nothing much happens, and at one point somebody runs through the woods. You definitely won’t enjoy it if (like me) you agreed to go because you assumed it was a Disney documentary about how polar bears mate for life. R. ALEX FALCONE. Fox Tower.

Lila & Eve

D There’s no saving a high-voltage revenge drama that relies on selfies for its big reveal. Even Viola Davis (The Help) couldn’t fix it. Even with a gun and J-Lo as a mentor who becomes her sidekick. Even with the all-consuming rage of a mother whose son was senselessly murdered in a driveby shooting as her fuel. It might’ve achieved the mediocrity of a guiltypleasure chick flick rolling in the black Escalade of a ’hood drama, if director Charles Stone III had refined his focus on the support group that holds Lila

& Eve’s only ounce of human emotion. Instead, he gives us Step-Up 2, without any washboard abs, and Rent, without any heart. This amputated revenge flick is a cold case from the first shot. Why didn’t the mastermind behind Nick Cannon as a Harlem drummer boy (Drumline) realize that a remake of J-Lo’s mother-bear vendetta film Enough shouldn’t be touched? Not with a 10-foot selfie stick. PG-13. ENID SPITZ. Cinema 21.

A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting on Existence

A+ The third in surrealist Swedish director Roy Andersson’s trilogy of “films about being human,” A Pigeon follows pale-faced, humorless ghosts as they mutter their way through a motionless, shadowless world and make awkward attempts at normalcy. Many of them die in the process— whether while uncorking a bottle of wine or fighting Russians alongside Sweden’s King Charles XII—and the survivors are caught up in the monstrous gears of bureaucracy. Believe it or not, this is all terribly funny, even if the film’s classic joke setups (two salesmen literally walk into a bar) often end in horrific mindfucks. Andersson could be compared to directors as disparate as Terry Gilliam, Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Werner Herzog, but his slow visions—full of lost Victorians in suits, too tired to feign excitement—are entirely his own, and they will stick in your subconscious long after the credits roll. PG13. CASEY JARMAN. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. July 17-20.

PlantPure Nation

C PlantPure Nation echoes what health-nut Portlanders have known all along: “Eat your veggies.” After biochemist T. Colin Campbell’s mother-inlaw died of colon cancer, the Cornell grad left his chicken-fried-steak family in the mountains of Virginia to spread the gospel of lentil loaf. Campbell (co-author of The China Study, on plant-based diets and the correlation between diet and disease) and his son Nelson launched the PlantPure Jumpstart program. In an attempt to convert Kentucky’s state legislature to the veggie way, they pointed to plummeting cholesterol and glycemic numbers in PlantPure participants. I thought everyone had already heard nutritional pyramid lectures from their pediatrician? The ﬁlm is too ra-ra on vegetables, though. I left the theater craving greasy cheese fries after being subjected to quinoa clips for so long. Good thing Reel M’ Inn has chicken wings fried beyond all recognition, just up the street. NR. AMY WOLFE. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Wednesday, July 15, and Tuesday, July 21.

Songs She Wrote About People She Knew

B+ I laughed out loud more than once at Canadian playwright Kris Elgstrom’s latest compact comedy. Carol is caught in a crisis—her mommy issues piss all over her office job and her lousy friends. In the opening scene, she discovers art therapy as an outlet that encourages her to sing out her dilemmas, and her flat lullaby, “You’re an Asshole, Dave” ends up pulling the pin in her boss’s own grenade of unresolved issues. Together, they take an awkward and risky road trip to exorcize their respective demons, and the film gives us a ride that mixes the exquisite discomfort of The Office and an element of musical realism. The result is remarkably funny and rarely tiresome. None of these characters should be fun to spend 80 minutes with, but with consistently strong acting and tight direction, Elgstrom’s work begs to be remembered as a modest, cute and ultimately revealing indie sleeper film. NR. NATHAN CARSON. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. Director in attendance 7 pm Wednesday, July 15.

INSIDE AMY SCHUMER: Schumer and Bill Hader.

OUTSIDE AMY’S WHEELHOUSE SAVE YOURSELF THE TICKET PRICE OF APATOW’S LONG RIDE.

they’re quoting Amy Schumer’s standup. It’s as if a race of intergalactic Schumers invaded New York and decided to inhabit several human bodies: Amy Schumer stars in Invasion of the Sense-of-Humor Snatchers. I hate writing about comedians, because I love (Better option: Go watch her actual standup!) them too much. Amy Schumer is the absolute Even a screen full of funny people—Trainwreck tops. She’s right about way more things than she’s is packed with Amy’s comedian friends—is more wrong about, and she’s absolutely killing it on your cringe- than laugh-worthy. Dave Attell plays a Facebook friends’ walls with sketches from her wacky homeless man, which probably shouldn’t Comedy Central show Inside Amy Schumer. happen in 2015 (go watch Comedy Underground). My love of Schu makes it difficult to admit And Colin Quinn plays Amy’s racist dad. Even this, but I didn’t like Trainwreck. To appease my if it’s a character telling racist jokes, you’re still conscience, every time I am forced to criticize using racist jokes to get laughs. (Go watch Quinn the movie, I’ll advise you of something else to on his Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee episode in watch instead. which he doesn’t say anything racist.) The first thing you’ll notice when watchEven Schu’s acting is questionable. With her experience (theater degree, studing Trainwreck is that it feels incredied Meisner, worked off Broadway), ibly fl imsy. There’s no story to I have to assume it was a choice speak of. Amy Schumer stars as for her character to wear a slight Amy, a version of herself that’s a successful magazine writer smirk for the entire movie. instead of comedy writer. She Things are going well? Smirk. At inexplicably falls in love with a funeral? Smirk. Having sex? a boring guy (Bill Hader from Smirk smirk smirk. (Go watch Saturday Night Live). He loves “Mom Computer Therapy.”) her back unconditionally but for It’s the athletes who actually no apparent reason. And it goes win. John Cena is charmingly terrible as a short-term boyfriend well for a while, then it doesn’t for a couple days, then it does BY ALEX FALCONE @alex_falcone unwilling to come out of the again. (I’m sorry, Amy! Instead closet, and LeBron James has a of watching this movie, everybody should go watch big role as himself. LeBron seems like he’s in an her sketch “Last Fuckable Day,” right now!) elementary-school play at times, looking around It’s a charmed life, but for some reason she’s to see if his parents are enjoying his “acting,” but incredibly bitter the whole time. Most troubling of it’s super-fun to watch. The funniest scene in the all, it’s just jokes, and many are straight from her whole movie is one in which Hader and LeBron standup. It kills me to say that, as if jokes weren’t have a heart-to-heart while playing one-on-one. I really awesome things—my favorite things in the don’t want to spoil anything, but LeBron is slightly world. But Trainwreck feels like a two-hour-plus better at basketball. sitcom in which the plot advances only so Amy Save your time, save your money, and most can rattle off some more standup. When a funeral importantly, save your little heart from breaking. serves as an excuse for her to do a tight five min- You’ve got your homework assignments now, so go utes of material, even people who were laughing watch that stuff instead of having your opinion of the whole time were checking their watches. (Go Amy Schumer tarnished. watch “Herpes Scare,” in which Paul Giamatti B+ SEE IT: Trainwreck is rated R. It opens Friday plays God in a white sweater!) at Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Not only does Amy Schumer sound like she’s just Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd quoting her standup, all the characters sound like Center, Movies on TV, St. Johns Cinemas.

CONT. on page 88 Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

july 15–21

Vertigo in 70 mm

A There are few images in movie

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history more iconic than Kim Novak jumping into the bay beneath the bright red Golden Gate Bridge. Thanks to profound restoration efforts, that VistaVision image is not only preserved but can now be seen in the ultimate format on 70 mm film. In 1958, Hitchcock returned to color filmmaking and set about telling one of his most personal and enduring stories. Based on the French novel D’entre les morts, Vertigo transplants its mystery to cosmopolitan San Francisco, where Jimmy Stewart stars as a retired detective, drafted back into an investigation by the strange tale of a beautiful debutante wife possibly possessed by an ancestor. Initially advertised as Hitchock’s masterpiece, the film was not a hit on release. Over time, though, it has nearly supplanted Citizen Kane in stature thanks to its director, cast, titles by Saul Bass, and an eerie score by Bernard Hermann. PG. NATHAN CARSON. Hollywood Theatre. July 17-19.

familiar evil upon the world, why not cast Kathie Lee’s daughter? R. JAY HORTON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV.

Inside Out

A Pretty much everybody in the theater was sobbing at some point during Inside Out. It’s sad. Crushingly, relentlessly sad. And absolutely brilliant from writerdirector Pete Docter, (Up). It’s not about depression per se. It’s about young Riley, who has to move across the country for her dad’s job, and the tiny people in her head who represent her emotions. The main story seems aimed more at parents and, to a lesser extent, older kids. There’s a talking elephant made of cotton candy to help occupy the littles, but you will love it, because

it’s great. And since you’re paying for it, screw them. PG. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, St. Johns Theater.

Jurassic World

B No more baby teeth. The Jurassic Park franchise has grown up, along with its audience. Raptor wrangler Chris Pratt remains forever the gruff yet accessible hero. PG-13. TED JAMISON. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Mill Plain, City Center, Bridgeport, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, St. Johns Cinemas.

REVIEW GILES KEYTE

MOVIES

STILL SHOWING Amy

A Even if you followed Amy

Winehouse’s career, it’s hard to keep from crossing your fingers for a different ending while watching Amy. Filmmaker Asif Kapadia approaches this exposé of “the girl behind Amy Winehouse” with his usual, unconventional eye, using sound clips from the star, her friends and colleagues to narrate Amy’s home videos and live performances. Getting familiar with pre-famous Amy makes watching the tabloids tear her from public grace more unnerving than ever. The drugs get harder and the footage gets more graphic. But like the loyal accompanists that played with her to the end, you feel compelled to believe she’s going to turn everything around. R. LAUREN TERRY. Cinema 21, Hollywood, Bridgeport.

THE ORIGINAL DINERANT AND WILLAMETTE WEEK PRESENT

CONDIMENTS

FOR A CAUSE A COCKTAIL PARTY BENEFITTING THE CHILDREN’S CANCER ASSOCIATION

T H U R S DAY, J U LY 3 0 , 6 – 9 PM T H E O R I G I N A L 3 0 0 S O U T H W E S T 6T H AV E Original Executive Chef AJ Voytko partners with his favorite homegrown sauce-makers to whip up sixteen condimentinspired finger foods while condiment cocktails are inspired by consummate barman Brandon Wise. $35 per person (includes two specialty cocktails) A portion of the proceeds go to the Children’s Cancer Association.

Entourage

B- The bros is the audience loved that the flimsy plot consisted entirely of the movie bros attempting to sleep with women, sleeping with women or talking about their attempts to sleep with women. It’s hard to tell if it’s funny on purpose or funny like a dog with its snout stuck in an ice-cream carton, where it’s definitely amusing in parts but it’s also sad because he’s trying his hardest. R. ALEX FALCONE. Avalon, Mission, Joy Cinema, Valley.

D How many found footage-fueled horror vehicles still lay undiscovered? In the past 15 years, Jason Blum has built a production empire (Purge, Insidious, Paranormal Activity) by slavishly exploiting our dread fascination with grainy video shot in low light at odd angles. While this new release employs the trademark Blum technique, the actual storyline seems more suited to a Halloween episode of Glee. It follows a group of teenagers who mark the 20th anniversary of a student’s gruesome death on their high school’s stage by putting on a revival of the same play. When loosing a forgotten though eerily

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Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

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A A hypnotic, cautionary tale that could just as well be titled Things Fall Apart, Cartel Land is a brutal, uncomfortably intimate documentary of two heavily armed militias. As the leader of the Mexican group Autodefensas puts it, “We can take up arms in defense of our lives, our families, our properties.” Director Matthew Heineman lets the leaders of both groups ramble on, especially Autodefensas’, as the militia slowly starts resembling a cartel itself. But Heineman is deeply embedded enough in the groups to reveal their hypocrisies and ulterior motives in spectacular, haunting fashion. R. CASEY JARMAN. Fox Tower.

The Gallows

Tickets available at:

Cartel Land

7/9/15 12:21 PM

elementary: ian mcKellen.

MR. HOLMES There’s a reason we don’t often follow our heroes into the sunset: It’s not that we don’t care what happens to them. It’s just that retirement is pretty boring and aging is depressing. Mr. Holmes, based on a novel by Mitch Cullin, imagines a world where the great Sherlock Holmes (Ian McKellen) was a very real man. A celebrity thanks to Dr. Watson’s embellished literary accounts of his adventures, Holmes is worldly, famous, razor-sharp and enchantingly charismatic. Now he spends most of his days in a rustic country estate, splitting his time between struggling to remember his last case, allowing his health to deteriorate and tending to his beehives. That’s right, Holmes is now a beekeeper. Which means anyone looking for some enthralling beekeeping action will be enamored with director Bill Condon’s endless shots of hives. Anyone looking for a great Sherlock Holmes story…Look! Bees! And so, Holmes keeps his bees by day, and by night he puts pen to paper, trying to figure out why he’s plagued with guilt by his final case. His memory is fading. There was a woman. And music. And…bees! This being a British prestige film, Holmes is reinvigorated with the help of a precocious, grimy little boy named Roger, who’s the son of Holmes’ dowdy housekeeper (Laura Linney). Roger takes a liking to both Sherlock and beekeeping. Because everything here has bees. McKellen is, of course, fine in the role, effectively playing Holmes through three eras of his life. But he doesn’t add much nuance to one of literature’s most iconic characters. He simply has his own gait and a grandfatherly air. He’s Ian McKellen. With a top hat. Meanwhile, Condon’s film skips all over the place, from Baker Street to Japan to Holmes’ estate, where the bees and Roger and guilt keep Holmes company. Were those scenes not dull enough, Condon adds long shots of Roger being chided for befriending the ailing detective by his mother, who hates bees as much as she hates compassion for dying elders. The film will naturally find an audience that’s quick to laud McKellen and the film’s arty reimagining of an icon. But they will be lauding an emotionally manipulative flick that, without its famous name, would be the story of a boring old man doing boring, old-man things. With Holmes in the title, it’s even worse: a film that robs one of our greatest heroes of his sunset, thrusting him instead into a prolonged, dull twilight. AP KRYZA.

In this case, even McKellen isn’t worth the buzz.

C-

see it: Mr. Holmes is rated PG. It opens Friday at Clackamas.

JULY 15–21

A I left the theater feeling like I should take a shower. This is a batshit, dirt-punk world.What’s so amazing is that this nonsensical explodey fuckpile can get away with almost anything. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Hollywood, City Center, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Lloyd Center.

Magic Mike XXL

C If I base my critique on the room temperature when I left the theater, XXL gets the job done. Magic Mike writer Reid Carolin reunites the crew for one last show before they hang up their G-strings for good. Steven Soderbergh’s familiar cinematography gives the audience a chance to breathe between lap dances, adding quiet pans of the Florida coastline. But Gregory Jacobs’ festive direction fails to achieve the ambiguous tension between characters that made Soderbergh’s work in the ﬁrst ﬁlm so unexpectedly fascinating, PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV.

Clackamas, Lake Theater, Stadium 11, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.

Ted 2

C The foulmouthed Ted is back with more celebrities, low-hanging fruit and product placement. It’s not the movie the moviegoing public needs, but it is the ﬁlm we deserve. If you think “black cocks” coming up on every Google search or Marky Mark being covered in spooge is hilarious, Ted 2 is the movie for you. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division, Fox Tower, Movies on TV.

part reboot, selectively using other parts of the series, which it can do because of two magic words: alternate timelines. But at least Arnold is still fun; the other characters, not so much. New Sarah Connor (Emilia Clarke from Game of Thrones) is unbelievable as a badass ninja about to become pregnant with the savior. Genisys goes to unfortunate lengths to explain the why and how of time travel. Instead, why not explain why the fuck the robots have human teeth? PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Tigard.

Terminator Genisys

C Yes, Schwarzwhatever says, “I’ll be back.” The rest of Genisys makes no goddamn sense. It’s part sequel,

For more Movies listings, visit

REVIEW COURTESY OF MAGNOLIA PICTURES

Mad Max: Fury Road

MOVIES

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Minions

A Like the nose-tickling carbonation of a freshly cracked soda, Minions is light and makes you giggle. PG. AMY WOLFE. Bagdad, Eastport, Clakcamas, Mill Plain, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Wilsonville, St. Johns Cinemas..

The Overnight

A “The best sex comedy at Sundance,” according to Rolling Stone, is more than slightly uncomfortable to watch. Like the-elastic-in-your-socks-is-wornout-and-they’re-bunching-in-yourshoes uncomfortable. The ﬁlm follows a Seattle couple that’s invited to dinner by a hot neighbor couple, but something else is up. R. ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Cinema 21, Laurelhurst.

SELF/LESS

C+ SELF/LESS starts with a great concept and gets bungled, like Cookie Crisp—how could you make cookies and breakfast taste bad? Ben Kingsley is a rich asshole who’s dying of cancer, and he gets an opportunity that only insanely rich assholes get—a secretive medical group will put his consciousness into a younger/hotter body. There’s probably a metaphor in here about body-swapping, but like Ryan Reynolds, I’m just not willing to put in the eﬀort to make this great. PG13. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV.

Spy

A- Serious actors playing funny roles seriously, a la Airplane, is one of my favorite things, and Paul Feig’s new movie, Spy, delivers that in spades. Jason Statham is hilarious as a parody of every serious role he’s played; Allison Janney is a funny version of her humorless self on West Wing; and every sentence 50 Cent says sounds like an alien in 50 Cent’s body discovering his vocal chords for the ﬁrst time. But really, that’s a minor complaint. R. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport,

28 DAYS LATER: Mya Taylor (left) and Kitana Kiki Rodriguez.

TANGERINE At first glance, Tangerine resembles a debut film. Shot on an iPhone and featuring two first-timers in the leading roles, Sean Baker’s fifth feature is full of creative decisions that would appear to be borne purely of financial necessity. Some of them were—the writer-director is on record saying he would have preferred shooting on film. But what makes Baker in general, and Tangerine in particular, so worthwhile is the unique ability of everyone involved to work within, and ultimately transcend, these limitations. Taking place one sunny Christmas Eve, the film is led by two transgender prostitutes whom we first meet as they commune in the window seat of a Hollywood doughnut shop. Sin-Dee (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez) is fresh out of jail after a 28-day stint and looking for her pimp boyfriend. She’s excited to see him, until Alexandra (Mya Taylor) spills the beans that the low-level hustler was unfaithful while Sin-Dee was behind bars. The quest narrative that follows is often hilarious, with Alexandra reluctantly agreeing to help her excitable bestie track down the other woman, whose name no one can quite remember (though everyone seems to agree it starts with the letter D). Baker gives a more ground-level view of Los Angeles than in any other movie in recent years. Sin-Dee and Alexandra’s journey traces geographically accurate walking distances and bus routes as they trek from the doughnut shop to a laundromat to a seedy motel, constantly running into people who feel like true-to-life cartoon characters. Like everything else in Tangerine, the people who inhabit these marginalized spaces are defined by what might be called an over-the-top naturalism. Baker explores their world without exploiting it, immersing us in an entirely new environment that’s built from authentic parts. In its unrestrained verve and verite approach, Tangerine is constantly threatening to jump off the screen and get in your face. Laughs abound, but so do moments of silent understanding in what’s ultimately an exploration of friendships that form between people with no one else to care about. Sin-Dee is constantly escalating situations beyond their breaking point and Alexandra isn’t the most loyal friend, but their bond hinges on genuine love and affection. That may not sound like much, but when everything else unravels, it’s more than enough. MICHAEL NORDINE.

Hollywood ﬁlmed by iPhone has a lot of heart.

Thank You Portland!

A- It’s so rare, in the post-Disney Channel age, to find a young adult movie with a believable emotional center. In most films, teens are hormonal train wrecks or micro-adults, but the teenage protagonists of Me and Earl and the Dying Girl are dignified, complex, and legitimately funny. This film will make some teens feel less alone, which is about the best thing a movie like this can do. PG-13. CASEY JARMAN. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Movies on TV.

SEE IT: Tangerine is rated R. It opens Friday at Cinema 21. Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

AP FILM STUDIES C O L B Y A L E Y/ C C B Y- N A 2 . 0

MOVIES

HOLLYWOOD DREAMS

THE RISE AND FALL AND RISE OF PORTLAND’S TRUE MOVIE PALACE. BY A P KRYZA

Mr. Holmes (PG) 11:50AM 2:30PM 5:10PM 7:50PM 10:30PM San Andreas (PG-13) 10:55AM 1:45PM 4:35PM 7:25PM 10:15PM Minions (PG) 10:00AM 11:20AM 12:40PM 2:00PM 3:20PM 4:40PM 6:00PM 7:20PM 8:40PM 9:55PM Trainwreck (R) 10:15AM 1:25PM 4:25PM 7:25PM 10:25PM Minions (3D) (PG) 10:40AM 12:00PM 1:15PM 2:40PM 3:55PM 5:20PM 6:40PM 8:00PM 9:20PM 10:35PM Terminator Genisys (3D) (PG-13) 10:00AM 4:00PM 10:00PM Terminator Genisys (PG-13) 10:40AM 1:40PM 4:40PM 7:40PM 10:40PM Ted 2 (R) 10:50AM 1:40PM 4:35PM 7:30PM 10:25PM Self/less (PG-13) 10:20AM 1:20PM 4:15PM 7:10PM 10:05PM

Spy (R) 10:35AM 4:20PM 10:10PM Ant-Man (PG-13) 10:00AM 1:00PM 4:00PM 7:00PM 10:00PM Ant-Man (3D) (PG-13) 11:55AM 11:55AM ® 3:00PM 3:00PM ® 6:00PM 6:00PM ® 9:00PM 9:00PM ® Max (2015) (PG) 1:35PM 7:15PM Ant-Man (PG-13) 10:00AM ® 1:00PM ® 4:00PM ® 7:00PM ® 10:00PM ® Mad Max: Fury Road (R) 7:05PM 10:05PM Magic Mike XXL (R) 10:25AM 1:30PM 4:30PM 7:20PM 10:20PM Jurassic World (PG-13) 10:30AM 12:55PM 1:35PM 4:30PM 7:00PM 7:40PM 10:40PM Gallows (R) 10:50AM 1:10PM 3:30PM 5:50PM 8:10PM 10:30PM Inside Out (PG) 10:10AM 11:35AM 12:50PM 2:15PM 3:35PM 4:55PM 7:35PM 10:15PM

Minions (3D) (PG) 11:20AM 12:30PM 1:40PM 2:50PM

Ant-Man (PG-13) 10:50AM 1:35PM 4:20PM 7:05PM 8:55PM

4:00PM 5:10PM 6:20PM 7:30PM 8:40PM 9:55PM

9:50PM

Magic Mike XXL (R) 11:00AM 1:45PM 4:35PM 7:25PM

Ant-Man (3D) (PG-13) 11:45AM 12:40PM 2:30PM 3:25PM

10:15PM

5:15PM 6:10PM 8:00PM 10:45PM

Trainwreck (R) 10:50AM 1:45PM 4:40PM 7:35PM 10:30PM

Jurassic World (PG-13) 10:50AM 1:45PM 4:40PM 7:35PM

Minions (PG) 10:45AM 12:00PM 1:05PM 2:20PM 3:25PM

10:30PM

4:40PM 5:45PM 7:00PM 8:05PM 9:20PM 10:30PM

Baahubali (Telugu- Primo Medical) (NR) 11:20AM

Terminator Genisys (PG-13) 10:45AM 1:40PM 4:35PM

2:40PM 6:00PM 9:20PM

7:35PM 10:30PM

Inside Out (PG) 11:15AM 1:50PM 4:25PM 7:00PM 9:35PM

Spy (R) 12:30PM 3:20PM 6:10PM

Gallows (R) 11:00AM 1:15PM 3:30PM 5:45PM 8:00PM

Self/less (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM

10:15PM

10:20PM

Bajranji Bhaijaan (Eros International) (NR) 9:00PM

Self/less (PG-13) 10:50AM 1:40PM 4:45PM 7:45PM 10:35PM Minions (PG) 11:30AM 1:10PM 2:00PM 3:40PM 4:30PM 7:00PM 8:40PM 9:30PM Trainwreck (R) 12:40PM 3:50PM 7:10PM 10:10PM Spy (R) 10:55AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:25PM Terminator Genisys (PG-13) 10:40AM 1:35PM 7:35PM 10:35PM Terminator Genisys (3D) (PG-13) 4:35PM Ted 2 (R) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:35PM 7:25PM 10:15PM Magic Mike XXL (R) 10:45AM 1:30PM 4:20PM 7:30PM 10:30PM

Ant-Man (PG-13) 1:30PM 4:30PM 7:30PM 10:30PM Ant-Man (3D) (PG-13) 10:45AM 12:00PM 3:00PM 6:05PM 9:00PM 11:00PM Minions (3D) (PG) 10:40AM 12:20PM 2:50PM 5:20PM 6:10PM 7:50PM 10:20PM Gallows (R) 11:10AM 1:25PM 3:45PM 6:05PM 8:20PM 10:40PM Mad Max: Fury Road (R) 11:00AM 1:55PM 4:55PM 7:45PM 10:35PM Jurassic World (PG-13) 12:50PM 4:05PM 7:20PM 8:05PM 10:30PM Inside Out (PG) 11:05AM 12:15PM 1:45PM 2:55PM 4:25PM 5:30PM 7:15PM 10:00PM

Ant-Man (XD-3D) (PG-13) 10:45AM 1:45PM 4:45PM 7:45PM 10:40PM

FRIDAY

WWEEKDOTCOM 90

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

apkryza@wweek.com

Looking at the Hollywood Theatre today, it would be reasonable to think that little has changed since its glory days, which spanned from the vaudevillian shows of 1926 to the Cinerama screenings starting in 1961. Hell, folks who were around in the late ’50s might have flashbacks this weekend, when the Hitchcock masterpiece Vertigo screens in glorious 70 mm (7 pm Friday-Sunday, July 17-19). The sight of patrons lined up down the sidewalk, illuminated by the newly restored marquee, signals that the theater is once again a movie palace. We almost lost it. Imagine, if you will, the Hollywood District without the Hollywood Theatre. That’s the picture painted by the theater’s unofficial brain trust—programmer Dan Halsted, community and programs director Justen Harn, executive director Doug Whyte and marketing director Kristy Conrad. Sipping the custom Vertigo Effect beer that Fort George brewed to celebrate the theater’s 89th birthday, the folks behind the curtain said the recent revival of the Hollywood could have just as well been its demise. The birthday brew is a light ale that’s modeled after Prohibition-era pales like something they would’ve poured at the theater way back when—it’s light and sweet. Their story is not. The decline began in 1975, when the theater changed from a first-run destination to a secondrun afterthought. It was basically left to fester, its original façades painted over as the basement filled with debris and junk. When a fire claimed the building next door in 1997, it nearly took the theater down and the owners wanted out. But its fate wasn’t certain until the Oregon Film & Video Foundation (now called Film Action Oregon) took over, switched to arthouse programming and made it a nonprofit. Of course, you can’t just put Jim Broadbent’s name on a marquee and hope that the senior centers fill the auditoriums. The theater languished for 10 years as a sleepy arthouse yawner. The seats stayed empty. Then, though, in 2011, something changed.

Whyte was named executive director, and he knew shit needed to change. “There was no energy, no money, no pizza, no beer,” Whyte says. “I didn’t want to watch a movie here, and I work here.” Then a complete 180 happened. The artsy movies remained, but Halsted and Harn stepped up with some much-needed fartsy in the form of cult marathons, B-Movie Bingo, Hecklevision and live-scored classics. The old seats were replaced with comfy ones. Now the theater has become a paragon of modern cinema-going, embracing film as a social medium while using its nonprofit arm to nurture Portland’s future filmmakers. If that sounds gushy, well, it is. It’s insane to think that we were so close to losing this resource. Metropolises like New York and Chicago consider the concept of a theater pub novel. Here in Portland we have more than a dozen, with the Hollywood leading the pack and drawing eyes from across the nation to see what a theater can truly be. Just look at the crowds who show up religiously for Kung Fu Theater. The lines that wrap down Sandy for 70 mm. The loyal folks who come out for weird-ass underground films of Repressed Cinema. This relic of the golden age of cinema survived doom to become Portland’s living room. “The space is nothing without the community coming in and feeling like it’s theirs,” says Harn. “Everybody should have this.” Thankfully, we still do. ALSO SHOWING:

The 1925, graciously Lloyd Webber-less, Phantom of the Opera gets the Weird Wednesday treatment. Joy Cinema. 9 pm Wednesday, July 15. Bad news: Hand2Mouth’s excellent look at mainstream Gus Van Sant has reached the inevitable screening of his Psycho remake. Good news: It’s a double feature with the Vince Vaughn-less original. Clinton Street Theater. 2 pm Saturday, July 18. Repressed Cinema unrepresses Damon Packard’s Space Disco One,, a bizarre ﬁlm that functions as a sequel to Logan’s Run and 1984 and, miraculously, is even weirder than it sounds. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, July 21. See the full list of what’s Also Showing in repertory cinemas this week at wweek.com.

MOVIES

C O U R T E S Y O F WA R N E R B R O S .

JULY 17–23

The Adventures of Robin Hood is at Academy Theater, Friday-Thursday, July 17-23. 08:50 TRAINWRECK FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:15, 07:00, 09:45

CineMagic Theatre Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX 1510 NE Multnomah St. ANT-MAN: AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-Sun 12:40, 04:00, 07:00, 10:00 ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun 12:00, 03:20, 07:35 ANTMAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 10:35 TRAINWRECK Fri-Sat-Sun 12:20, 03:30, 06:50, 10:05 MET SUMMER ENCORE: MERRY WIDOW Wed 07:00

Regal Tigard 11

11626 SW Paciﬁc Highway ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:30, 10:00 ANT-MAN 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 03:45, 07:00 TRAINWRECK Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 03:45, 07:15, 10:30 PAPER TOWNS PIXELS PIXELS 3D

Regal Evergreen Parkway Stadium 13 & RPX

2625 NW 188th Ave. ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:00, 05:00, 08:00 ANT-MAN 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:00, 11:00 TRAINWRECK Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:15, 01:15, 04:15, 07:15, 10:15 PAPER TOWNS PIXELS PIXELS 3D

Regal Division Street Stadium 13

16603 SE Division St. ANT-MAN Fri 12:00, 03:00, 07:00, 10:00 ANT-MAN 3D Fri 11:30, 02:15, 05:00, 07:45, 10:30 PAPER TOWNS

Regal Movies On TV Stadium 16

Clinton Street Theater

2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 ARDOR Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon 07:30 PSYCHO Sat 02:00 PSYCHO Sat ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW 40TH ANNIVERSARY Sat 12:00 RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK Sun 02:00 PLANTPURE NATION Tue 07:00

The Joy Cinema and Pub

11959 SW Paciﬁc Highway, 971-245-6467 TOMORROWLAND Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45 PITCH PERFECT 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 09:10 HOME 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 05:00 ASSIGNMENT TERROR Wed 09:10

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 EX MACHINA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:00 FRENZY Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:15 WHILE WE’RE YOUNG Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:20 MANGLEHORN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:00 THE THIRD MAN Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 06:45 WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:45 FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:30 THE OVERNIGHT Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 09:30 TOMORROWLAND Sat-Sun 01:00

2929 SW 234th Ave. TRAINWRECK Fri-Sat-Sun 12:30, 04:10, 07:10, 10:10 ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun 11:30, 02:15, 05:00, 07:50 ANTMAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 11:00, 01:45, 04:30, 07:20, 10:10, 10:40 PAPER TOWNS PIXELS 3D

Mission Theater and Pub

Bagdad Theater

Moreland Theatre

3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 MINIONS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:45, 03:45, 07:00, 10:00

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 AMY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 04:00, 07:00, 09:35 TESTAMENT OF YOUTH Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 03:30 TANGERINE Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:30, 06:45, 07:00, 08:45, 09:15

1624 NW Glisan St. CLUELESS Fri-Sat-Sun 08:30 PITCH PERFECT 2 Fri-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 05:35 SHARKNADO 3: OH HELL NO! Wed 09:00 6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-236-5257 MINIONS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 05:30, 07:30

Mt. Hood Theatre

401 E Powell Blvd., 503-665-0604 PITCH PERFECT 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 07:00, 09:20 TOMORROWLAND Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:20 HOME Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 02:20

St. Johns Cinemas

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 MINIONS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:30, 06:45,

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 04:35, 07:00, 09:25

Kiggins Theatre

1011 Main St., 360-816-0352 GREASE SING-ALONG Fri-Sat-Sun 02:00, 06:45 LOVE & MERCY Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 06:00, 08:30 SHARKNADO 3: OH HELL NO! Wed 09:00

Regal City Center Stadium 12

801 C St. ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun 11:15, 08:30 ANT-MAN 3D Fri-SatSun 02:15, 05:25

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 VERTIGO Fri-Sat-Sun 03:00, 07:00 MAD MAX: FURY ROAD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:15, 09:40 AMY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:45, 09:20 SPACEDISCOONE Tue 07:30

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 12:45, 04:00, 07:15 ANT-MAN 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:00, 03:15, 06:30, 09:30, 10:15 PIXELS PIXELS 3D

St. Johns Theater

8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-283-8520 ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 10:00

Regal Cinemas Bridgeport Village Stadium 18 & IMAX

7329 SW Bridgeport Road ANT-MAN: AN IMAX 3D EXPERIENCE Fri-Sat-Sun 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 10:00 ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun 10:45, 01:35, 04:30, 07:30, 10:30 ANT-MAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun 11:15, 02:05, 05:00, 08:00, 11:00 TRAINWRECK Fri-SatSun 01:15, 04:15, 07:15, 10:15

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 THE OVERNIGHT Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 12:15, 07:15 TOMORROWLAND Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 02:05, 06:45 WHEN MARNIE WAS THERE FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 02:45 FAR FROM THE MADDING CROWD Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 04:45 EX MACHINA Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 07:00, 09:05 HOME Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 12:05, 04:35 WHAT WE DO IN THE

SHADOWS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 05:00, 09:20 THE ADVENTURES OF ROBIN HOOD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 02:20, 09:30

Valley Theater

9360 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway, 503-296-6843 TOMORROWLAND Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:40 ENTOURAGE Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 09:20 PITCH PERFECT 2 Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 07:10, 09:35 HOME Fri-Sat-Sun 02:00, 04:20 FURIOUS 7 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 06:20, 09:30 CINDERELLA SatSun 02:15

Century Clackamas Town Center and XD

12000 SE 82nd Ave. MAX Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 01:35, 07:15 JURASSIC WORLD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 10:30, 12:55, 01:35, 04:30, 07:00, 07:40, 10:40 MAD MAX: FURY ROAD Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue-Wed 07:05, 10:05 SPY Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:35, 04:20, 10:10 SAN ANDREAS Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:55, 10:15 INSIDE OUT Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:10, 11:35, 12:50, 02:15, 03:35, 04:55, 07:35, 10:15 TED 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:50, 01:40, 04:35, 07:30, 10:25 TERMINATOR GENISYS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 10:40, 01:40, 04:40, 07:40, 10:40 TERMINATOR GENISYS 3D Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:00, 04:00, 10:00 MAGIC MIKE XXL Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:25, 01:30, 04:30, 07:20, 10:20 MINIONS Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:00, 11:20, 12:40, 02:00, 03:20, 04:40, 06:00, 07:20, 08:40, 09:55 MINIONS 3D Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:40, 12:00, 01:15, 02:40, 03:55, 05:20, 06:40, 08:00, 09:20, 10:35 THE GALLOWS FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:50, 01:10, 03:30, 05:50, 08:10, 10:30 ANT-MAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 10:00, 01:00, 04:00, 07:00, 10:00 ANT-MAN 3D FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue-Wed 11:55, 03:00, 06:00, 09:00 TRAINWRECK Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 10:15, 01:25, 04:25, 07:25, 10:25 SELF/ LESS Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-TueWed 10:20, 01:20, 04:15 MR. HOLMES Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue-Wed 11:50, 02:30, 05:10, 07:50, 10:30

SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TO-DATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, JULY 17-23, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED

Willamette Week Presents:

SANDY RIVER CLEAN UP & FLOAT

Sunday July 19 - Dabney Park

River Clean Up 1–2p.m.—Dabney Park

Sandy River Float 2–4p.m. Dabney Park >> Lewis & Clark Park

Leinenkugel’s After Party 4–6p.m.—Lewis & Clark Park

21+ // FREE RSVP @ wweek.com/SandyRiverCleanUp Free transportation from Old School PDX to Dabney Park and back. Free Bunk Box Lunch for the first 70 to register!!! For more information visit: wweek.com/SandyRiverCleanUp Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

W W S TA F F

END ROLL

DOCTOR UP WANT TO MAKE THE MOST OF WEED LEGALIZATION? GET YOUR OMMP CARD. We don’t yet know what Oregon’s market for legal weed will look like, but we do know it will be very different than the medical system. For the past 15 years, Oregon’s Medical Marijuana Program has operated off a measly 30 pages or so of regulations found in HB 3460. The wild free market has been regulated by the patients more than anyone else. It’s been an interesting era. Legalization brings more regulation and, likely, higher prices. Getting your card now ensures affordable access to weed in the tumultuous months to come, including items that won’t be available to recreational customers. Here are a few other reasons to consider getting a med card even though you won’t need one to legally buy in just a few more months. CUSTOMER SERVICE When you enter a typical Washington rec shop, you’re handed a multipage menu of products and expected to know what you’re looking for. Once you place your order, the transaction is complete and you’re out the door. On the other hand, you’re greeted by name when you enter a medical dispensary in Oregon. Employees inquire what you thought about the last strain you tried, and want to hear about your triumphs and tribulations. Knowledgeable budtenders will patiently talk you through every product in the case. If you’re new to the modern world of weed, some dispensary owners will take the time to sit down and explain different products and effects. You are a patient, not 92

Willamette Week JULY 15, 2015 wweek.com

a customer, and many shops make a huge effort to connect with people on a more intimate level, even sending out handwritten Christmas cards with coupons for a free joint. Most importantly, the mere fact that they aren’t yet required to preweigh their buds leaves room for the possibility of a homie discount, which will go extinct with seed-to-sale tracking. UNLIMITED ACCESS TO PRODUCT The Oregon Health Authority doesn’t care if a dispensary provides concentrates with 92 percent THC, or a brownie packed with 150 mg of THC. But the Oregon Liquor Control Commission definitely does. The early sales period in October would allow the general public to purchase from dispensaries, but only flower. No oil, no edibles, no vape pens. Now is the time to explore Oregon’s tastiest, most potent and effective marijuana products, because once the OLCC starts regulating dispensaries, the menu will slim down for all of us. YES, YOU HAVE A QUALIFYING MEDICAL CONDITION I am a fit 24-year-old, but my flat feet, nightly tooth grinding or early signs of carpal tunnel syndrome are qualifying symptoms of severe pain. As long as you have physical pain of some kind, a medical card clinic is happy to help you collect the documents you’ll need to prove whatever condition. These doctors sign your paperwork for a fee, which can get expensive alongside the $200 for patient registration. At least know that if you wake up early enough on Black Friday this year, you’ll see discounts of that magnitude before 10 am. I’d criticize these weed doctors for such a costly five-minute meeting, but, like weed writers who encourage the exploitation of a medical program, they’re ultimately trying to help good people get the most out of the situation before things get more complicated. LAUREN TERRY

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WELLNESS

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COUNSELING

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TAURUS (April 20-May 20): When you read a book that has footnotes, you tend to regard the footnotes as being of secondary importance. Although they may add color to the text’s main messages, you can probably skip them without losing much of the meaning. But I don’t recommend this approach in the coming days. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, footnotes will carry crucial information that’s important for you to know. I mean this in a metaphorical sense as you live your life as well as in the literal act of reading books. Pay close attention to the afterthoughts, the digressions, and the asides. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): The English word “quiddity” has two contrary definitions. It can refer to a trivial quibble. Or it can mean the essential nature of a thing -- the quality that makes it unique. I suspect that in the coming weeks you will get numerous invitations to engage with quiddities of both types. Your first task will be to cultivate an acute ability to know which is which. Your second task: Be relentless in avoiding the trivial quibbles as you home in on the essential nature of things. CANCER (June 21-July 22): “A poet must not cross an interval with a step when he can cross it with a leap.” That’s an English translation of an aphorism written by French author Joseph Joubert. Another way to say it might be, “A smart person isn’t drab and plodding as she bridges a gap, but does it with high style and brisk delight.” A further alternative: “An imaginative soul isn’t predictable as she travels over and around obstacles, but calls on creative magic to fuel her ingenious liberations.” Please use these ideas during your adventures in the coming weeks, Cancerian. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): July is barely half over, but your recent scrapes with cosmic law have already earned you the title of “The Most Lyrically Tormented Struggler of the Month.” Another few days of this productive mayhem and you may be eligible for inclusion in the Guinness Book of World Records. I could see you being selected as “The Soul Wrangler with the Craziest Wisdom” or “The Mythic Hero with the Most Gorgeous Psychospiritual Wounds.” But it’s my duty to let you know that you could also just walk away from it all. Even if you’re tempted to stick around and see how much more of the entertaining chaos you can overcome, it might be better not to. In my opinion, you have done enough impossible work for now. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): “People who have their feet planted too firmly on the ground have difficulty getting their pants off,” said author Richard Kehl. That’s good advice for you in the coming weeks. To attract the help and resources you need, you can’t afford to be overly prim or proper. You should, in fact, be willing to put yourself in situations where it would be easy and natural to remove your pants, throw off your inhibitions, and dare to be surprising. If you’re addicted to business-asusual, you may miss opportunities to engage in therapeutic play and healing pleasure. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): “A failure is a person who has blundered but is not able to cash in on the experience,” wrote American author Elbert Hubbard. In light of this formulation, I’m pleased to announce that you are likely to achieve at least one resounding success in the coming weeks. At this juncture in your destiny, you know exactly how to convert a past mistake into a future triumph. A gaffe that once upon a time brought you anguish or woe will soon deliver its fully ripened teaching, enabling you

to claim a powerful joy or joyful power. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): The poet Mary Ruefle describes reading books as “a great extension of time, a way for one person to live a thousand and one lives in a single lifespan.” Are there other ways to do that? Watching films and plays and TV shows, of course. You can also listen to and empathize with people as they tell you their adventures. Or you can simply use your imagination to visualize what life is like for others. However you pursue this expansive pleasure, Scorpio, I highly recommend it. You are set up to absorb the equivalent of many years’ experience in a few short weeks.

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SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian rapper Nicki Minaj is not timid about going after what she wants. She told Cosmopolitan magazine that she’s “highmaintenance in bed.” Every time she’s involved in a sexual encounter, she demands to have an orgasm. In accordance with the current astrological omens, Sagittarius, I invite you to follow her lead -- not just during your erotic adventures, but everywhere else, too. Ask for what you want, preferably with enough adroitness to actually obtain what you want. Here’s another critical element to keep in mind: To get exactly what you want, you must know exactly what you want. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): A college basketball player named Mark Snow told reporters that “Strength is my biggest weakness.” Was he trying to be funny? No. Was he a bit dim-witted? Perhaps. But I’m not really interested in what he meant by his statement. Rather, I want to hijack it for my own purpose, which is to recommend it as a meditation for you in the coming weeks. Can you think of any ways that your strength might at least temporarily be a weakness? I can. I suspect that if you rely too much on the power you already possess and the skills you have previously mastered, you may miss important clues about what you need to learn next. The most valuable lessons of the coming weeks could come to you as you’re practicing the virtues of humility and innocence and receptivity. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In Margaret Mitchell’s novel Gone with the Wind, Rhett Butler delivers the following speech to Scarlett O’Hara: “I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I’d rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived.” Your oracle for the near future, Aquarius, is to adopt an approach that is the exact opposite of Rhett Butler’s. Patiently gather the broken fragments and glue them together again. I predict that the result will not only be as good as new; it will be better. That’s right: The mended version will be superior to the original. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Australian actress Rebel Wilson has appeared in several successful movies, including Bridesmaids, Bachelorette, and Pitch Perfect. But she didn’t start out to be a film star. Mathematics was her main interest. Then, while serving as a youth ambassador in South Africa at age 18, she contracted malaria. At the height of her sickness, she had hallucinatory visions that she would one day be “a really good actress who also won an Oscar.” The visions were so vivid that she decided to shift her career path. I foresee the possibility that you will soon experience a version of her epiphany. During a phase when you’re feeling less than spectacular, you may get a glimpse of an intriguing future possibility.

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Stop Making Sense” was originally the name of the film and music soundtrack produced by the Talking Heads in the 1980s, and now it is the central theme of your horoscope. I think your brain would benefit from a thorough washing. That’s why I invite you to scour it clean of all the dust and cobwebs and muck that have accumulated there since its last scrub a few months back. One of the best ways to launch this healing purge is, of course, to flood all the neural pathways with a firehose-surge of absurdity, jokes, and silliness. As the wise physician of the soul, Dr. Seuss, said, “I like nonsense. It wakes up the brain cells.”

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