THE VALLEY’S BEST NEW WINE SPOTS. P. 22
BLACK LIVES MONITORED. P. 7
EVERCLEAR’S SPARKLE AND FADE TURNS 20. P. 37
WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY
“I’LL GET FROSTBITE IN MY ARMPIT.”
The weather is warming. Hope you’re still here.
P. 8
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WWEEK.COM
VOL 42/03 11.18.2015
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
RICK VODICKA
FINDINGS
PAGE 27
WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 42, ISSUE 3.
Those anti-hookah billboards are not exactly truthful. 4 If you’ve use the hashtag “Fuck the Police,” the man may be watching you. #FuckThePolice. 7 Ladybug hatchings on Mount Shasta are erratic. 19
Activists said the KKK was parading in front of a Nike store. They were either lying or the man was not watching. 30
ON THE COVER:
Yearling, Sea Cow, Medicine Creek, and Torkes are all obscure oysters served in Portland. 35 Marie Osmond once saw the penis
of a man who was almost Everclear’s drummer. 37 The new Hawthorne Strip is not a toffee bar for soccer people. 47 There is Weird Al-themed burlesque now. 49 If you want weed that feels like a Xanax, there is a place. 60
OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:
Photo by Matt Wong. Model: Johanna Hagen
The KKK was trying to recruit Greshamites with kandy.
STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EDITORIAL News Editor Pro Tem Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Madeline Luce Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Web Editor Lizzy Acker Books James Helmsworth
Visual Arts Enid Spitz Editorial Interns Katana Dumont, Lisa Dunn, Coby Hutzler, Walker MacMurdo, Zach Middleton CONTRIBUTORS Dave Cantor, Nathan Carson, Rachel Graham Cody, Shannon Gormley, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Anthony Macuk, Mark Stock, Anna Walters PRODUCTION Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Julie Showers Special Sections Art Director Alyssa Walker Graphic Designers Rick Vodicka, Xel Moore Production Interns Elise Englert, Emily Joan Greene, Caleb Misclevitz, Kayla Sprint
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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PORTLAND HIGH-SCHOOL PLAN
I am writing regarding your article about the impact of Portland Public Schools’ highschool system in 2011 [“Growing Pains,” WW, Nov. 4, 2015]. I want to clarify that “redrawing school attendance zones to respond to shifting demographics” is not “a central focus” of my administration. I have been very clear that my three priorities are (1) accelerating improvement in graduation and completion rates, (2) ensuring that all students are reading to learn by the end of third grade, and (3) reducing out-ofschool discipline and the disparity in discipline between students of color and white students. However, balancing school enrollments is one of the important levers for supporting student achievement. Since 2011, our graduation rate has improved 17 percentage points, advanced offerings across all high schools has increased significantly, and the percentage of 10th-graders on track to graduate has improved from 71 percent to 85 percent. PPS is expected to grow by about 5,000 students by 2025. This requires us to have a plan to manage enrollment growth, and offers an opportunity to strengthen all neighborhood schools. Adding to the challenge, most of our school buildings do not have enough classrooms to support fully enrolled K-8 or PK-8 programs. This is why the PPS Board directed PPS to undergo a districtwide enrollment-balancing process. I encourage our community to continue to provide feedback to the districtwide Boundary Advisory Committee about the draft plans. Your feedback will inform the committee as it revises and refines a final recommendation. Carole Smith, superintendent Portland Public Schools
THE SELLING OF STUMPTOWN
I expect more honest reporting from WW. In Matthew Korfhage’s article on coffee [“The Year in Coffee,” WW, Nov. 11, 2015], he reported that Stumptown was recently purchased by Peet’s Coffee. Funny, but that’s exactly the Stumptown talking point. Korfhage, like Stumptown, acknowledges—almost as an aside—that Peet’s is a brand owned by the benign-sounding “JAB Holding Company.” So how does Peet’s buy Stumptown if Peet’s is nothing but a brand subsidiary? They don’t. A giant European conglomerate buys Stumptown to go with their line of shoes and perfume. The conglomerate, JAB Holding, wants us to feel like our “local” coffee is, in fact, controlled by a coffee company in San Francisco, not by some faceless overseas corporation. I would expect a news organization like WW to read beyond the Stumptown press release. Peet’s doesn’t buy Stumptown any more than Caribou Coffee buys Stumptown or, for that matter, any more than Jimmy Choo shoes buys Stumptown. Tom Huminski Northeast Portland
“So how does Peet’s buy Stumptown if Peet’s is nothing but a brand subsidiary?”
Q.
Recently I’ve seen billboards declaring that one hour of hookah smoking is the same as smoking five packs of cigarettes. I don’t smoke, but I did hit the hookah a few times in college. Should I start picking out my coffin? —Alice’s Caterpillar
Numbers are like Bush-era terror suspects— they’ll confess to anything if you torture them long enough. It’s not that the figures above are wrong, per se, it’s just that precisely what they delineate has been lost in all the excitement. This much-ballyhooed number refers to the volume of smoke inhaled, not what’s in it. Hookah smokers take bigger drags and (usually) more of them, so in an hour they may inhale 100 times the smoke by volume as you do when smoking a cigarette. That said, that smoke is less concentrated than cigarette smoke—diluting the smoke with moist air is, in fact, the whole point of a water pipe. 4
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
OUR COVER WASN’T DEER TO HER
Thanks for the juvenile cover of the deer, circa fifth grade [“Been a Little Bad?” WW, Nov. 4, 2015]. You really need to check YouTube because this was done 10 years ago or more, yawn. All those staff IQs, and that’s the best you could do? —Cathleen Casey LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: mzusman@wweek.com.
A pack of cigarettes has about 20 grams of tobacco; a hookah bowl has roughly the same. Say you share it with two buddies—in an hour, in terms of actual tobacco consumed, you’ve each smoked the equivalent of seven cigarettes. Which is still really bad! Don’t smoke hookahs, kids—they’ll give you the same cancer/ emphysema/ bad skin as regular cigarettes! Unfortunately, in their eagerness to get this message noticed, some outlets are leading with the most eye-popping stat, rather than the most informative. What I don’t get is why you’d want to hookah in the first place. Cigarettes I can understand. Smoking was a big part of that exciting period when America was inventing film noir, fast cars, rock ’n’ roll and sex. (Also, we won World War II—suck it, Hitler.) How could cigarettes not take on some of that cultural cachet? But water pipes? Come on. Rebel Without a Cause just wouldn’t be the same if James Dean had to trundle into every scene pushing a hookah in a little cart. If that makes me a fossil, so be it. QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
In the wake of last week’s terrorist attacks in Paris, 30 U.S. governors have declared they will no longer accept Syrian refugees into their states. Not Oregon Gov. Kate Brown, who reaffirmed Nov. 17 that the state will accept refugees from all nations. “Clearly, Oregon will continue to accept refugees,” Brown wrote on Twitter. “The words on the Statue of Liberty Portland refugees apply in Oregon just as they do from Myanmar. in every other state.” Oregon has yet to see any arrivals from the wave of at least 4 million Syrian refugees fleeing their war-torn country. As WW reported earlier this year, local service agencies say they probably won’t see any Syrian refugees until February 2016 at the earliest. Portland’s independently elected auditor is turning up the heat on Uber and political consultant-turned-lobbyist Mark Wiener. In a stern letter Nov. 16, City Auditor Mary Hull Caballero demanded Uber turn over its lobbying contract with Wiener. Hull Caballero, who’s in charge of enforcing Portland’s lobbyist regulations, wants the contract so she can rule on whether Uber and Wiener violated city rules. Last year, Wiener helped broker a deal between Uber and the city while a consultant to Mayor Charlie Hales. Then Wiener signed a contract with Uber, as WW reported in August. So what took the auditor so long? HULL CABALLERO Hull Caballero says it wasn’t appropriate to use the Portland City Attorney’s Office to guide her investigation and that she needed to hire outside counsel. “There were a lot of sensitivities because it involved other elected officials,” she says. A Portland landlord has sued the city in Multnomah County Circuit Court in response to a recently enacted ordinance that requires landlords to notify tenants 90 days in advance of rent increases of more than 5 percent. The lawsuit, filed for apartment owner Melcliff Associates by its attorney, John DiLorenzo, says the new ordinance conflicts with state law establishing 30 days as the notice period and also conflicts with a state prohibition on rent controls. Melciff is seeking a permanent injunction against the ordinance. City Housing Commissioner Dan Saltzman says city attorneys are confident in their legal position. “It’s important that we give renters more than 30 days’ notice,” Saltzman says.
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FACTION 2014/2015 CLOSEOUTS FROM:
“One death is too many.”
A few new names have popped up in political circles as potential challengers in Portland’s 2016 elections. Stuart Emmons, an architect, urban planner and education activist, is mulling a bid against City Commissioner Steve Novick. Emmons, who helped save Veterans Memorial Coliseum from the wrecking ball when former Mayor Sam Adams proposed a minor league baseball stadium at the site, is also an advocate for affordable housing. “I hope my experience with housing, poverty [and] density will help find solutions that will really be effective in helping to solve our housing crisis,” the 61-year-old Goose Hollow resident tells WW. Also mulling a comeback? Jesse Cornett, who challenged Saltzman in 2010 but garnered only 8 percent of the vote. Cornett says he may run for mayor. “I’m aware of how big a challenge this would be,” Cornett says. All the news that’s fit to tweet.
GOT A GOOD TIP? CALL 503.445.1542, OR EMAIL NEWSHOUND@WWEEK.COM
N ATA L I E B E H R I N G / W W S TA F F
NEWS
Digital Stakeout ATTORNEY GENERAL ELLEN ROSENBLUM TOOK HER TIME ADDRESSING ALLEGATIONS OF ILLEGAL SURVEILLANCE BY HER AGENCY. BY NIG E L JAQ UI SS
njaquiss@wweek.com
On the evening of Oct. 19, Oregon Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum’s top deputy presented her with troubling news. In an after-hours conversation, Rosenblum learned that an investigator in her agency, the Oregon Department of Justice, had been using a Web tool called “Digital Stakeout” to monitor people using hashtags like “Black Lives Matter” and “Fuck the Police” on Twitter. “I was immediately outraged by the revelation,” she tells WW, “and the next morning ordered this type of digital search be stopped.” In fact, such monitoring may be a violation of state law. It was more than a week, however, before the attorney general informed one of her own agency’s lawyers, Erious Johnson, that he had been profiled because of his use of the Black Lives Matter hashtag. Then, nothing happened until Nov. 10, when Nkenge Harmon Johnson, executive director of the Urban League of Portland and Erious Johnson’s wife, sent a letter to Rosenblum signed by representatives from seven other groups, including the American Civil Liberties Union of Oregon, the NAACP and the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees. The letter blasted Rosenblum for harboring a “digital surveillance program in our Department of Justice that appears to target civil, racial and human rights activities in Oregon.” Only after receiving the letter did Rosenblum place on leave the investigator who did the profiling. Last Friday—25 days after she was told about the profiling— Rosenblum hired an outside investigator. “It looks like she didn’t take it seriously until it became
public,” says Stuart Sugarman, a Portland criminal defense lawyer who represented many of those arrested in the Occupy Portland movement. Rosenblum defends the time it took her to inform Johnson, suspend the agent and launch an investigation. “It was absolutely essential that any information I shared with Erious be as accurate as possible,” she says. “I wanted to move quickly, deliberately and fairly.” The story has gone national. Media, including National Public Radio and the Huffington Post, are questioning the surveillance program and the attorney general’s response. Surveillance issues have taken on particular significance since last week’s terrorist attacks in Paris, which underscored the need for coordinated intelligence-gathering. In that context, the Oregon DOJ’s use of a “threat assessment” tool to search publicly available Twitter traffic might seem innocuous or even prudent. But in 1981, Oregon passed a law prohibiting lawenforcement agencies from monitoring political speech or activity. Civil rights lawyers say Oregon’s law is one of the nation’s strictest.
in Oregon. It handles everything from consumer protection to murder cases to providing routine legal advice to state agencies. One of the lesser-known roles it performs takes place in Salem, on the first floor of a generic-looking office building on Southeast McGilchrist Street. A team there staffs what is called the Oregon Titan Fusion Center. While the Fusion Center is housed in a state agency and its employees are state employees, the original funding came from the federal government. After the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001, the 9/11 Commission determined that local law-enforcement agencies needed to find a better way to share information. That led to the creation of 77 so-called fusion centers nationwide. The fusion centers collate information from local, state and federal law-enforcement agencies so they can better coordinate their operations, both in monitoring potential terrorists and pursuing more routine issues, such as drug trafficking. Oregon’s Fusion Center opened in 2007, operating inside the DOJ’s criminal justice division. Records show that in 2014, the Oregon Fusion Center received at least $3.8 million in federal funding. The Oregon DOJ also asked the state Legislature earlier this year for additional money. As part of its request, it listed some achievements: “From July 2011 to June 2014, the Fusion Center conducted 1,194 terrorism intakes [defined as a report of suspicious activity], created 1,497 intelligence profiles…and conducted 24 threat assessments,” the DOJ budget request says.
“It looks like she didn’t take it seriously until it became public.” —Stuart Sugarman Rosenblum’s handling of the digital surveillance issue raises questions about her management of a complex agency and comes as the attorney general, a Democrat, is seeking re-election in 2016. (Disclosure: Rosenblum is married to WW co-owner Richard Meeker.) “I don’t think there’s a good answer for why it took so long,” says Tung Yin, who teaches criminal law at Lewis & Clark Law School. “We’ve seen other investigative matters such as the Kitzhaber case proceed at the pace of molasses under her watch.” The Department of Justice is in effect the largest law firm
In addition to its counterterrorism work, the Fusion Center provides what it calls “de-confliction services to law-enforcement agencies across the state.” In lay terms, that work includes maintaining a large database of police investigations in different geographical areas. Some employees in Oregon’s Fusion Center are civilian data analysts; others, highly trained law-enforcement officers. Multiple sources have identified the Fusion Center agent placed on leave as James Williams. Williams, 41, worked as a detective for the Klamath Falls CONT. on page 11 Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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COBY HUTZLER
NEWS Who Regulates Cryotherapy? Nobody. BY COBY HU TZ L ER
CHAMBER OF SECRETS: WW Web editor Lizzy Acker undergoes a treatment at Active Cryotherapy in Southwest Portland while owner Richard Sprauer looks on.
Frozen
A CHILLING NEW MEDICAL THERAPY IS UNDER NATIONAL SCRUTINY. I HOPPED IN. BY L I ZZY AC K E R
lacker@wweek.com
In a mostly abandoned office park near the Oregon Zoo, I’m minutes from trying America’s trendiest, least-regulated and most notorious medical therapy. I’m nervous. I’m sweating. And the sweat’s just making me more nervous, because now I’m worried I’ll get frostbite in my armpit. I’m about to step into a tank that looks like a oneperson backyard spa, putting my body in a bath of minus-180-degree-Celsius liquid nitrogen vapor. This is whole-body cryotherapy, in which extreme cold is used to reduce a person’s skin temperature, forcing their blood to retreat to their core. Proponents claim that as the skin warms, nutrientladen blood rushes back to it—causing healthier skin, less cellulite, and faster recovery times for athletes. But the death of a woman in a suburban Las Vegas cryotherapy chamber last month has renewed skepticism about the treatment, which remains almost entirely unregulated (see sidebar, right). I write a column on wweek.com called “Lady Things” in which I explore the interesting and horrifying things women do to their bodies in the name of health and beauty. This seemed to qualify. But now that I have arrived at Active Cryotherapy on Southwest Westgate Drive, it feels like a step too far. There are a lot of warmer places I could have gone: a freezer. The South Pole. Any natural environment anywhere on earth. Even the dark side of the moon is warmer. The owner, Richard Sprauer, can tell I’m anxious. “You’re a little scared, aren’t you?” he asks me, after I fill out the intake form, sign a waiver and visit the restroom to send a final farewell text to my boyfriend. 8
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
I don’t think I’m likely to die, but I also don’t think it’s outside the realm of possibility. I’ve read about people getting frostbite because they were wearing something damp in the chamber. Loss of the use of limbs, disfigurement. I haven’t told my parents what I’m doing. They are already worried about my experiments with fake tanning and detox tea. I’ve been having dreams about the cryo chamber. Why did I agree to this again? Am I like a third-grader who can’t say no to a dare? Probably. I think about leaving. “Ha, no!” I tell Sprauer. “I’m fine!” Richard and Patricia Sprauer have operated Active Cryotherapy in Southwest Portland since September 2012, in office space shared with a chiropractor. A database maintained by the Oregon Department of Justice shows that no complaints have ever been lodged against Active Cryotherapy. Its business registry paperwork lists its main activity as “cryosauna treatments.” After years of competitive soccer and skiing, my knees have turned into my dad’s knees–constantly sore and creaky. They ache in cold weather. Maybe this $44 treatment will help. I follow Sprauer, a jovial man with white hair and a mustache, into the back. In the cryotherapy room stands the expensive “cryosauna,” which looks to me like one of those one-person in-home saunas some people buy and probably never use: a tank over 6 feet tall decorated in a faux wood-paneled print. Next to the door is a huge tank, almost my height, that says: “MEDICAL NITROGEN.” Sprauer told me over the phone to bring three pairs of “substantial” socks, two for my feet and one for my hands. He inspects the socks I’d put in my bag, in a plastic bag to avoid any dampening, and pronounces them good enough. Then he tells me to take my clothes off, put the socks and CONT. on page 11
243-2122
Cryotherapy treatments are unregulated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. In fact, regulation of any kind is virtually nonexistent across the nation. Cryosauna manufacturers say the practice originated in Japan in the late 1970s. Cryospas started getting popular in the U.S. around 2010. The procedure’s been featured on The Dr. Oz Show, with the chambers making their way into the locker rooms of professional and university sports teams like the Dallas Mavericks and Texas Christian University Horned Frogs. Lack of regulation for the procedure drew national alarm last month. Chelsea Patricia Ake-Salvacion, a 24-year-old cryotherapy technician in Henderson, Nev., died in a cryospa machine Oct. 19, after using it alone after hours at the business where she worked, RejuvenIce. The coroner’s office for Clark County, Nev., ruled that Ake-Salvacion died from a lack of oxygen—not from the unit’s frigid temperatures. As the chamber fills with liquid nitrogen vapor to cool it, ambient air in the chamber gets displaced, along with the oxygen in it. “When in use, oxygen levels inside the chamber can drop to less than 5 percent,” the coroner’s Nov. 10 statement says. “Breathing air with this low level of oxygen can quickly result in unconsciousness and then death.” (Regular air is 21 percent oxygen.) Ake-Salvacion’s is the first recorded death during cryotherapy. The investigation into her death led the state of Nevada to shut down all RejuvenIce locations within its borders, but only on a technicality: According to multiple Las Vegas media reports, the business lacked workers’ compensation insurance. Since her death, the call has grown for government regulators to take a closer look at whole-body cryotherapy. That includes Oregon, where two cryotherapy centers operate. For the state to regulate whole-body cryotherapy, the Legislature would have to issue rules for the Oregon Health Authority to enforce. State Sen. Laurie Monnes Anderson (D-Gresham), who chairs the Senate’s Health Care and Human Services Committee, tells WW that new regulation for cryotherapy is unlikely before 2017. “We definitely want to look into it and see if this is something that Oregon should be regulating, or not regulating, or banning,” Monnes Anderson says. “One death is too many.” Richard Sprauer owns Active Cryotherapy in Portland’s Sylvan neighborhood, where Lizzy Acker tried a treatment. He says cryotherapy is safe, and welcomes regulation. “I can understand them wanting to regulate it, of course,” Sprauer says. “I would like to see it carefully tended because it is something to be careful with.”
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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NEWS Digital Stakeout cont.
Frozen cont. a robe on, and let him know when I’m done. He instructs me to stand in the chamber and he’ll close the door and then the bottom will lift up until my chin is over the edge. I wonder how much the elevator played into the cost of this expensive piece of equipment. It seems a little showoffy. Sprauer hits a button, and I slowly ascend. “Tell me when your chin is at my finger,” he tells me, holding his finger up over his head. “Now!” I say. I take off my robe. Sprauer flips a switch. The cold from the liquid nitrogen comes on slowly. It’s fun for a second, the smoky vapor climbing up over me and spilling out the top. “Turn every time you hear the machine make a noise so it doesn’t all hit you in one place,” Sprauer says. It’s cold—but not the cold of jumping into a lake or even being outside in the mountains. It’s drier, and doesn’t take my breath away. But after a few seconds, my legs start to feel a prickly dull pain. “You can go for two and a half minutes or a full three,” Sprauer says. By this time, I am very cold. Not in acute discomfort, but still worried about frostbite. I’m full of adrenaline. “I think two and a half is fine,” I say. Sprauer puts my robe on the top of the chamber, turns the machine off and hits the elevator button. “When the elevator hits the bottom, push the door open,” he says and walks out of the room. Our photographer looks away while I throw my clothes back on. I bounce up and down a little. I can’t feel the usual pain in my knees. My legs are turning red and are cold to the touch. I have the feeling I distinctly remember from one day in high school, after a long winter run for the ski team in the evening rain, when I was deeply cold, colder than I’d ever been, even colder than the time I was taken to the ski patrol hut because I was hypothermic. It’s a feeling of sensation slowly coming back, muted tingling, pain mixed with relief. “My knees feel great!” I tell Sprauer. “Go easy on ’em,” he says. My knees continue not to hurt for a couple hours after the cryosauna. But by evening, when I attempt a spin class, they are back in their usual sore form. But at least I’m not dead. WW news intern Coby Hutzler contributed reporting to this story. Lizzy Acker does alarming things to her body for her weekly column, “Lady Things,” at wweek.com/lady-things.
HASHTAGGED: An investigator at the Oregon Department of Justice monitored tweets by Erious Johnson, a DOJ lawyer, because he used the “Black Lives Matter” hashtag. Above is a sampling of what Johnson tweeted in September.
Police Department for nine years, according to his LinkedIn page, before joining the DOJ in 2010. He declined to comment. At some point—it’s unclear when—Williams began using a tool to monitor those who followed or used the hashtag Black Lives Matter, a movement that began after the 2012 killing of unarmed AfricanAmerican teenager Trayvon Martin in Florida. It gained traction after subsequent high-profile deaths of black people at the hands of police. In July, a news website called the Intercept reported that the U.S. Department of Homeland Security—the agency that provides much of the Fusion Center’s funding—regularly collects data on Black Lives Matter activism on Facebook and Twitter, including the locations of planned protests. The Oregon DOJ surveillance appears to have been less extensive than federal efforts. Yet the revelation places Rosenblum in a difficult spot, considering she is also leading a statewide task force on racial profiling. Harmon Johnson and the other civil rights and labor leaders pointed to that contradiction in their Nov. 10 letter to Rosenblum. They demanded “an apology and disclosure to all Oregonians ensnared in this surveillance.” (Harmon Johnson and Erious Johnson declined to comment for this story.) How many Oregonians were monitored on Twitter by the DOJ remains a key unanswered question. Rosenblum tells WW she doesn’t know the scope of the surveillance. “This is one of the things the independent audit will address,” she says. “It is my hope that we put a stop to the practice quickly.” It’s also unclear if Williams acted alone, or at the direction of his supervisor. “I did not authorize this inquiry,” Rosenblum says. “Nor am I aware of any direct authorization.” The Attorney General’s Office has previously been caught improperly monitoring non-criminal activity (see sidebar below). To some observers, the biggest question is whether Rosenblum is taking an aggressive enough role in protecting Oregonians’ civil rights. ACLU of Oregon executive director David Rogers says Rosenblum is moving in the right direction, but he’s concerned the independent investigator she hired will report to a DOJ lawyer and isn’t required to make all findings public. “What we need is a thoroughly independent and transparent investigation,” Rogers says. Rosenblum says the investigation will answer all questions. “That’s important work,” she says, “but it requires time.”
Illegal Procedure The social-media surveillance conducted by an Oregon Department of Justice agent appears to be illegal in Oregon. “No law-enforcement agency,” says Oregon Revised Statute 181.575, “may collect or maintain information about the political, religious or social views, associations or activities of any individual, group, association, organization, corporation, business or partnership unless such information directly relates to an investigation of criminal activities, and there are reasonable grounds to suspect the subject of the information is or may be involved in criminal conduct.” Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum acknowledges her agent may have broken the law. She says DOJ policies call for any agent who works at the Oregon Titan Fusion Center to be trained in the
law and to sign a document attesting to that training. Concerns about the Oregon Depart-
ment of Justice violating the letter and spirit of ORS 181.575, the law prohibiting the gathering of political information, date back at least to 2009, three years before Rosenblum took office. That year, then-newly hired criminal justice chief Sean Riddell became uncomfortable with a database that contained intelligence information unrelated to criminal activity. “I shut it down immediately,” Riddell says. Riddell asked former Multnomah County Circuit Judge Dale Koch to review the database. Koch’s notes, which WW obtained from the state, show Koch advised the DOJ to stop tracking people if “there is not reasonable suspicion to believe that they are engaged in criminal activity.” NIGEL JAQUISS. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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M AT T W O N G
DEAR
FUTURE PLANET The weather is warming. Hope you’re still here.
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ADAM WICKHAM
DEAR FUTURE PLANET
L
ast Thursday, Jan Zuckerman took six middle-school children to Portland City Hall to plead for the future of a warming planet. Zuckerman, a former teacher, chaperoned the eighthgraders from Sunnyside Environmental School as they presented Mayor Charlie Hales and his colleagues with handmade certificates congratulating them for fighting climate change. They then sang a rendition of Bob Dylan’s “The Times They Are a-Changin’” with modified lyrics. “I look at these young kids,” said Zuckerman, “and it breaks my heart. Somebody needs to listen to them. Because they’re going to be cleaning up the mess that we make.” The City Council members listened. They voted unanimously to make Portland the first city in the nation to block the expansion of fossil-fuel pipelines, tanks and terminals within city limits. The resolution instructed city planners to rewrite building and zoning code so if a company wants to move more oil or coal through Portland, it will find city rules standing in its way. The new rules have exceptions—mostly so Portlanders can continue pumping gas and turning on burners. (If a Shell station wants to add an extra gas pump, for example, that’s still legal.) The Nov. 12 vote essentially directed the city’s bureaucracy to use its red tape in the same way Greenpeace protesters used ropes and pulleys in July to dangle from the St. Johns Bridge and block an icebreaking ship headed to an Arctic oil-drilling site. The vote may not do much to discourage fossil-fuel exporters from using other places in Oregon as shipping hubs, and it may do nothing to reduce Portlanders’ consumption of such fuels. But it’s more than a merely symbolic gesture. It permanently blocks the Canadian energy company Pembina from building a liquid propane terminal at the Port of Portland— completing a move by Hales, who yanked the terminal’s permits in May. (City Hall sources tell WW that the mayor’s office hurried the vote because Hales was worried Pembina had found a loophole that would allow it to start construction at the port.)
Scientists, authors and activists— including two Portlanders—have penned notes to their greatgrandchildren, explaining why the upcoming Paris climate conference was so crucial. The mood at City Hall was raucous. Activists packed every seat in the gallery, waving chopsticks festooned with crepe-paper streamers— red and yellow, similar to the banners Greenpeace protesters unfurled below the St. Johns Bridge. When all five commissioners voted “aye,” the crowd chanted, “Cities lead! Cities lead!” For them, this is the first of many small, civic steps in obstructing oil and coal companies from further heating Earth’s climate. “If Portland will push against these elitist companies, things are going to change,” said Cathy Sampson-Kruse, a member of the Confederated Tribes of the Umatilla. She traveled from Pendleton for the vote. “This is historic.” Next month, Hales will fly to Paris for the United Nations Climate Change Conference, joining more than 100 world leaders hoping to reach an accord to limit the emissions that cause global warming. It’s a gathering with potentially huge consequences for the future. In anticipation of the Paris conference, the Association of Alternative Newsmedia (of which WW is a member) asked people across the nation to sit down and write to people living six generations from now. In the following pages, you’ll read just a few of these letters. (You can read the rest at letterstothefuture.org.) Scientists, authors and activists—including two Portlanders—have penned notes to their great-great-grandchildren, explaining why the Paris climate conference was so crucial. The writers offer their hopes for what the world might look like if the conference succeeds—and their fears of what will happen if the talks fail. AARON MESH. CONT. on page 15 Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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DEAR FUTURE PLANET
Dear Rats of the Future, Congratulations on your bipedalism: It’s always nice to be able to stand tall when you need it, no? And great on losing that tail too ( just as we lost ours). No need for that awkward (and let’s face it: ugly) kind of balancing tool when you walk upright, plus it makes fitting into your blue jeans a whole lot easier. Do you wear blue jeans— or their equivalent? No need, really, I suppose, since you’ve no doubt retained your body hair. Well, good for you. Sorry about the plastics. And the radiation. And the pesticides. I really regret that you won’t be hearing any bird songs anytime soon, either, but at least you’ve got that wonderful musical cawing of the crows to keep your mornings bright. And, of course, I do expect that as you’ve grown in stature and brainpower, you’ve learned to deal with the feral cats, your onetime
T.C. Boyle C O U R T E S Y T. C . B OY L E
SORRY ABOUT THAT
nemesis, but at best occupying a kind of ratty niche in your era of ascendancy. As for the big cats—the really scary ones, tiger, lion, leopard, jaguar—they must be as remote to you as the mammoths were to us. It goes without saying that with the extinction of the bears (polar bears: they were a pretty silly development anyway, and of no use to anybody beyond maybe trophy hunters) and any other large carnivores, there’s nothing much left to threaten you as you feed and breed and find your place as the dominant mammals on earth. (I do expect that the hyenas would have been something of a nasty holdout, but as you developed weapons, I’m sure you would have dispatched them eventually.) Apologies too about the oceans, and I know this must have been particularly hard on you since you’ve always been a seafaring race, but since you’re primarily vegetarian, I don’t imagine that the extinction of fish would have much affected you. And if, out of some nostalgia for the sea that can’t be fully satisfied by whatever hardtack may have survived us, try jellyfish. They’ll be about the only thing out there now, but I’m told they can be quite palatable, if not exactly mouthwatering, when prepared with sage and onions. Do you have sage and onions? But forgive me: of course you do.
I really regret that you won’t be hearing any bird songs anytime soon, either, but at least you’ve got that wonderful musical cawing of the crows to keep your mornings bright.
You’re an agrarian tribe at heart, though in our day we certainly did introduce you to city life, didn’t we? Bright lights, big city, right? At least you don’t have to worry about abattoirs, piggeries, feed lots, bovine intestinal gases and the like—or, for that matter, the ozone layer, which would have been long gone by the time you started walking on two legs. Does that bother you? The UV rays, I mean? But no, you’re a nocturnal tribe anyway, right? Anyway, I just want to wish you all the best in your endeavors on this big, blind rock hurtling through space. My advice? Stay out of the laboratory. Live simply. And, whatever you do, please—I beg you— don’t start up a stock exchange. With best wishes, T.C. Boyle PS: In writing you this missive, I am, I suppose, being guardedly optimistic that you will have figured out how to decode this ape language I’m employing here— especially given the vast libraries we left you when the last of us breathed his last. A novelist and short-story writer, Boyle has published 14 novels and more than 100 short stories. CONT. on page 16
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DEAR FUTURE PLANET
BRIEF OPPORTUNITIES Dear Great-Great-Granddaughter, The world you live in grew out of the world I live in, and I want to tell you a little bit about the major difficulties of my world and how they have affected your world. On the day I am writing this letter, the speaker of the House of Representatives quit his job because his party—called “the Republicans”— refused absolutely to work with or compromise with the other party, now defunct, called “the Democrats.” The refusal of the Republicans to
DEREK SHAPTON
Jane Smiley
much carbon dioxide out of the ground and into the air as they could. The worse the weather and the climate became, the more they refused to budge. Americans, but also the citizens of other countries, kept using coal, diesel fuel and gasoline. Transportation was the hardest thing to give up, much harder than giving up the future, and so we did not give it up, and so there you are, stuck in the slender strip of East America that is overpopulated, but livable. I am sure you are a vegan, because there is no room for cattle, hogs or chickens, which Americans used to eat. West America was once a beautiful place— not the parched desert landscape it is now. Our mountains were green with oaks and pines, mountain lions and coyotes, and deer roamed
The refusal of the Republicans to work with the Democrats was what led to the government collapse in 2025.
work with the Democrats was what led to the government collapse in 2025, and the breakup of what to you is the Former United States. The states that refused to acknowledge climate change or, indeed, science, became the Republic of America, and the other states became West America and East America. I lived in West America. You probably live in East America, because West America became unlivable owing to climate change in 2050. That the world was getting hotter and dryer, that weather was getting more chaotic, and that humans were getting too numerous for the ecosystem to support was evident to most Americans by the time I was 45, the age your mother is now. At first, it did seem as though all Americans were willing to do something about it, but then the oil companies (with names like Exxon and Mobil and Shell) realized that their profits were at risk, and they dug in their heels. They underwrote all sorts of government corruption in order to deny climate change and transfer as
in the shadows, and there were beautiful flowers nestled in the grass. It was sometimes hot, but often cool. Where you see abandoned, flooded cities, we saw smooth beaches and easy waves. What is the greatest loss we have bequeathed you? I think it is the debris, the junk, the rotting bits of clothing, equipment, vehicles, buildings, etc., that you see everywhere and must avoid. Where we went for walks, you always have to keep an eye out. We have left you a mess. But I know that it is dangerous for you to go for walks—the human body wasn’t built to tolerate lows of 90 degrees Fahrenheit and highs of 140. When I was alive, I thought I was trying to save you, but I didn’t try hard enough, or at least, I didn’t try to save you as hard as my opponents tried to destroy you. I don’t know why they did that. I could never figure that out. Sadly, Great-Greatgrandma Jane Winner of the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 1992 for her novel A Thousand Acres, Smiley has written numerous novels and works of nonfiction.
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FRAN COLLIN
Michael Pollan
SHIFT THE FOOD SYSTEM Dear Future Family, I know you will not read this note until the turn of the century, but I want to explain what things were like back in 2015, before we figured out how to roll back climate change. As a civilization, we were still locked into a zero-sum idea of our relationship with the natural world, in which we assumed that for us to get whatever we needed, whether it was food or energy or entertainment, nature had to be diminished. But that was never necessarily the case. In our time, the U.S. Department of Agriculture still handed out subsidies to farmers for every bushel of corn or wheat or rice they could grow. This promoted a form of agriculture that was extremely productive and extremely destructive—of the climate, among other things. Approximately one-third of the carbon then in the atmosphere had formerly been sequestered in soils in the form of organic matter, but since we began plowing and deforesting, we’d been releasing huge quantities of this carbon into the atmosphere. At that time, the food system as a whole contributed somewhere between 20 to 30 percent of the greenhouse gases produced by civilization—more than any other sector except energy. Fertilizer was always one of the biggest culprits for two reasons: it’s made from fossil fuels, and when you spread it on fields and it gets wet, it turns into nitrous oxide, which is a much more potent greenhouse gas than carbon dioxide. Slowly, we convinced the policy makers to instead give subsidies to farmers for every increment of carbon they sequestered in the soil. Over time, we began to organize our agriculture so that it could heal the planet, feed us and tackle climate change. This began with shifting our food system from its reliance on oil, which is the central fact of industrial agriculture (not just machinery, but pesticides and fertilizers are all oil-based technologies), back to a reliance on solar energy: photosynthesis. Carbon farming was one of the most hopeful things going on at that time in climate-change research. We discovered that plants secrete sugars into the soil to feed the microbes they depend on, in the process putting carbon into
At that time, the food system as a whole contributed somewhere between 20 to 30 percent of the greenhouse gases produced by civilization—more than any other sector except energy.
the soil. This process of sequestering carbon at the same time improved the fertility and waterholding capacity of the soil. We began relying on the sun—on photosynthesis—rather than on fossil fuels to feed ourselves. We learned that there are non-zero-sum ways we could feed ourselves and heal the earth. That was just one of the big changes we made toward the sustainable food system you are lucky enough to take for granted. Pollan is a teacher, author and speaker on the environment, agriculture, the food industry, society and nutrition. His letter was adapted from an interview in Vice magazine.
CONT. on page 19
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C O U R T E S Y K E L LY C O U G H L I N
DEAR FUTURE PLANET
A VIEW FROM THE FIREGROUND
We opened the lookout two weeks earlier than in the previous year. There were fewer flowers and butterflies than ever.
Kelly Coughlin
C O U R T E S Y K E L LY C O U G H L I N
When I started my fire career in 2001, the West was at the tail end of an eight-year drought cycle. A trend was emerging: Fires were becoming larger, faster-moving and more unpredictable. Drought weakened the trees against bark beetles and other parasites, which made them still more vulnerable to fire. Two points of access to Dutchman Peak lookout in Southern Oregon are normally blocked by snow drifts until late June. Mounts McLoughlin and Shasta are ordinarily loaded with snow, and wildflowers and kestrels dart about the mountain. In 2009, a family of Steller’s jays hatched in a stunted mountain hemlock 20 feet from the lookout. Cicadas hissed in the rose-gold light of the fading sunsets, and there were more deer, raptors and butterflies than I could count. Come late August, the wind-swept mountain mahogany bushes surrounding the cupola developed feathery filaments that the winds would carry off before the cold and rain would settle in for the fall. In 2012, a TV station wanted to know the impressions my boss and I had concerning the coming fire season. The moisture readings were at low levels not normally seen until late August. We had never opened the lookout so early before. Once fire season began, the air filled with so much smoke from fires, I woke one night with my chest heavy and tight, wondering if I could asphyxiate in my sleep from lack of oxygen. In 2013, the changes I noticed caused a hollow fluttering in the pit of my stomach. We opened the lookout two weeks earlier than the previous year. There were fewer flowers and butterflies than ever. The ladybugs and dragonfly hatches seemed erratic, and moisture readings were incredibly low. The mountain mahogany developed few seed filaments, and I could actually hear the rustling paper sound of foliage drying out in the wind. In 2014, a month earlier than normal, the snow disappeared from Mount McLoughlin, and, to the shock of many, a glacier melted on Mount Shasta, creating flooding in the nearby valley. The deer, birds, flowers and butterflies were all but absent. In 14 years in fire, I’ve heard much about the debate over the roles that fire suppression, forest management practices and climate change play in the trend toward more severe fire seasons. I doubt we will solve our climate-change problems, unless we learn to listen to what the land has to tell us. Coughlin is a wildland firefighter from Portland. CONT. on page 20 Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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DEAR FUTURE PLANET
MY ENDLESS SKY
Dear Future Robinsons, Back around the turn of the century, flying to space was a rare human privilege, a dream come true, the stuff of movies (look it up), and an almost impossible ambition for children the world around. But I was one of those fortunates. And what I saw from the cold, thick, protective windows of the Space Shuttle is something that, despite my 40 years of dreaming, I never remotely imagined. As I learned to fly gliders, then small aircraft, then military jets, I always had the secure feeling that the atmosphere was the infinite “long, delirious, burning blue” of John Magee’s poem, even though of all people, I well knew about space and its nearness. It seemed impossible to believe that with just a little more power and bravery, I couldn’t continue to climb higher and higher on “laughter-silvered wings.” My life was a celebration of the infinite gift of sky, atmosphere and flight. But what I saw in the first minutes of entering space, following that violent, life-changing rocket ride, shocked me. If you look at Earth’s atmosphere from orbit, you can see it “on edge”—gazing toward the horizon, with the black of space above and the gentle curve of the yes-it’s-round planet below. And what you see is the most exquisite, luminous, delicate glow of a layered azure haze holding the Earth like an ethereal eggshell. “That’s it?!” I thought. The entire sky—my endless sky—was only a paper-thin, blue wrapping of the planet, and looking as tentative as frost. And this is the truth. Earth’s atmosphere is fragile and shockingly tiny—maybe 4 percent of the planet’s volume. Of all the life we know about, only one speADAM KARSTEN
COURTESY STEPHEN ROBINSON
Stephen K. Robinson
cies has the responsibility to protect that precious, blue planetwrap. I hope we did, and I hope you do.
Back around the turn of the century, flying to space was a rare human privilege.
Your ancestor, Stephen K. Robinson After 36 years as an astronaut—with a tenure that included four shuttle missions and three spacewalks—Robinson retired from NASA in 2012. He is now a professor of mechanical and aerospace engineering at the University of California, Davis.
ROCK, ICE, AIR AND WATER Pam Houston
Dear Future Inhabitants of the Earth, I was speaking with an environmental scientist friend not too long ago, and he said he felt extremely grim about the fate of the Earth in the 100-year frame, but quite optimistic about it in the 500-year frame. “There won’t be many people left,” he said, “but the ones who are here will have learned a lot.” I have been taking comfort in his words. If you are reading this letter, you are one of the learners, and I am grateful to you in advance. And I’m sorry.
Pet Rock
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This is the song we sing: “The people gonna rise like the water, we’re gonna calm this crisis down. I hear the voice of my great-granddaughter, saying shut down fossil fuels now.”
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While I was in college, scientists began to warn the world of the race against the clock of warming temperatures and rising seas, and predicted we had just 15 years to stop business as usual before it was “game over” for the planet. People like me began to take action in our homes, on the streets and in the halls of our elected officials. We worked tirelessly inside and outside the system to make the greatest change possible, with only our imaginations as the limit. Now I’m in my early 20s. Climate change is starting to have devastating effects, igniting a mass people’s movement that began turning the tide. In 2015, we stopped some of the most devastating proposals from fossil-fuel companies, like the Keystone XL oil pipeline, propane export terminals and Arctic drilling. Yes, we really did
JECONTE
With hope, Pam Houston
SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 21ST AT 3:30PM The bluesy soulful vocals and lightening harmonica chops of renowned livewire JeConte, are backed by a ferocious blues rock band featuring New Orleans legend Anders Osborne, veteran LA rocker Wally Ingram, Bayou Bassman Carl Dufrene, San Francisco slide virtuoso Chris Haugen & long time JeConte writing partner and lead guitar maestro Bay Area’s Matty Cohen.
Author of short stories, novels and essays, Houston wrote the acclaimed Cowboys Are My Weakness, winner of the 1993 Western States Book Award.
RISE LIKE THE WATER Dear Future Great-Grandchild, I came of age as the scientific debate about climate change was coming to an end. For decades, fossil-fuel companies lied to the public about human-caused climate change. By the time I was in high school, the climate crisis was starting to unfold, and amid worry and fear, people started to rise up to try and shift the power of our political, economic and energy systems. For some of us, our worry turned into hope that addressing climate change, the biggest problem humans have ever faced, is actually the best opportunity we have to build a more just and equal world.
open 11-10
everyday
COURTESY MIA REBACK
sorry. For my generation. For our ignorance, our shortsightedness, our capacity for denial, our unwillingness or inability to stand up to the oil and gas companies that have bought our wilderness, our airwaves, our governments. It must seem to you that we were dense beyond comprehension, but some of us knew, for decades, that our carbon-driven period would be looked back on as the most barbaric, the most irresponsible age in history. Part of me wishes there was a way to know what the Earth is like in your time, and part of me is afraid to know how far down we took this magnificent sphere, this miracle of rock and ice and air and water. Should I tell you about the polar bears, great white creatures that hunted seals among the icebergs; should I tell you about the orcas? To be in a kayak with a pod of orcas coming toward you, to see the big male’s fin rise in its impossible geometry, 6 feet high and black as night, to hear the blast of whale breath, to smell its fishy tang— I tell you, it was enough to make a person believe she had led a satisfying life. I know it is too much to wish for you: polar bears and orcas. But maybe you still have elk bugling at dawn on a September morning, and red tail hawks crying to their mates from the tops of ponderosa pines. Whatever wonders you have, you will owe to those about to gather in Paris to talk about ways we might reimagine ourselves as one strand in the fabric that is this biosphere, rather than its mindless devourer. E.O. Wilson says as long as there are microbes, the Earth can recover—another small measure of comfort. Even now, evidence of the Earth’s ability to heal herself is all around us—a daily astonishment. What a joy it would be to live in a time when the healing was allowed to outrun the destruction. More than anything else, that is what I wish for you.
Mia Reback
STONING GIANTS
SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 22ND AT 5PM
hang from bridges and block boats in kayaks. Visionary elected officials, powered by the grassroots marching in the streets, are leading the charge for no new fossil-fuel infrastructure and to begin an immediate and just transition to 100 percent renewable energy. This is the song we sing: “The people gonna rise like the water, we’re gonna calm this crisis down. I hear the voice of my great-granddaughter, saying shut down fossil fuels now.” I am of the first generation born into this crisis, and yours will not be the last. But together, old and young, as we fight for survival, we can rise above our fears and make a better world. L’dor v’dor (from generation to generation).
It all started in late 2012, Larry had made a trip to California on vacation and found himself playing his original cabin campfire songs in a living room surrounded by his family. Larry’s Grandmother commented “Why don’t you play that kind of music? I like that much better than that screaming stuff you play”. Stoning Giants was formed the following Summer, four guys with a heavy rock background formed a band with flavors of rock, blues and funk.
JENNY CONLEE
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 24TH AT 7PM The set of instrumental pieces entitled French Kayaking Music was written for and inspired by the film Voyagers Without Trace; a documentary about a French trio who kayaked the Green and Colorado rivers in 1938. Conlee, currently a member of bands The Decemberists and Black Prairie, was at this time delving deep into French accordion music. The “Voyagers…” soundtrack project was the perfect opportunity for Jenny to put to paper some original pieces inspired by the genre.
Mia Reback is a community organizer with 350 PDX, a volunteer activist group that organized the kayak blockade of the MSV Fennica in July and urged Portland City Hall to ban the expansion of fossil-fuel transport and storage. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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JULIE HUTCHINSON
CULTURE
The New Valley OREGON WINE COUNTRY HAS HAD A MASSIVE INFLUX OF EXCITING NEW PROJECTS IN THE PAST YEAR. HERE ARE OUR FAVORITE NEW SPOTS.
Domaine Roy & Fils
8351 NE Worden Hill Road, Dundee, 687-2600, domaineroy.com. 11 am-5 pm daily. [PRINCE OF DUNDEE] Many of the valley’s respected old-guard wineries are in the process of passing to a second generation. The three men behind Newberg’s Beaux Frères— Robert Roy, Michael Etzel and Etzel’s brother-in-law, Robert Parker Jr., who happens to be the world’s most influential wine critic—are not yet ready to hand over the reigns. And thus, sons Jared Etzel and Marc-Andre Roy have struck out on their own, converting this former hazelnut farm into a pinot-focused vineyard and winery with newfangled concrete fermenters and a gorgeous tasting room. The two vintages on offer at Domaine Roy & Fils came from purchased fruit and were excellent—everyone in our party left with a bottle of 2014 Petite Incline. But it’s the exceptional tasting-room experience that really stood out. Showing up without a reservation and not announcing ourselves as media, we got an in-depth, one-hour tour from a knowledgeable, personable and down-to-earth guide. In a wine region where it’s typical to get a brisk pour and a little boilerplate commentary beyond the tasting notes, it’s a rare treat to spend some time in the cellar before sitting at a large, round dinner table with a 270-degree view of the foggy hills. If you were to visit only one winery in the Willamette Valley, this should be it. MARTIN CIZMAR. 22
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
The Diner
2580 SE Stratus Ave., McMinnville, 971-261-2191, thedinermcminnville.com. 8 am-8pm daily. [GREAT CLUB] In the parking lot of a Comfort Inn on the eastern outskirts of McMinnville sits a partly corrugated box called the Diner. Pretty much every food item on the menu is also on the menu at Denny’s: eggs Benedict, patty melt, biscuits and gravy. But it is home to wonders. Last fall, Kyle Chriestenson, former sous chef at swanky Thistle, started making his own sourdough and rye and curing heavenly corned beef. And, dear Lord, he makes one of the best sandwiches I’ve ever had in Oregon, a fried-chicken club in which each layer is seasoned and the chicken’s breading provides a satisfying crunch that a middle slice of bread never could, with a house aioli that you’ll only hear them call “mayo.” As a pairing, we recommend the gin and juice, which mixes Ransom dry gin with grape Fanta. It reads like a punch line, and tastes like the kind of joyously alcoholic childhood that only exists in the heart of the country. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
Argyle Winery
691 Highway 99W, Dundee, 538-8520, argylewinery.com. 11 am-5 pm daily. [BUBBLES POPPIN’] Forget New Portland, welcome to the New Valley. Argyle Winery’s brand-new, barnsized tasting room—a beautiful glass-and-wood-beam Frankenstein assembled from reclaimed materials and surrounded by a tastefully sterile garden—is as sparkling as the wines that built Argyle’s reputation. At a reasonable $15 for a three-glass flight (the bubbly “pop flight” is recommended, particularly for the 2011 brut rosé), you will be walked through each glass, with enough room left for a second flight or a whole glass of your favorite. If you’re in luck, they may even slip you a sample of the delightfully unorthodox 2011 black brut, a sparkling pinot noir as crisp as cranberries, with a cinnamon finish that tastes purposebuilt for Thanksgiving. WALKER MACMURDO.
Taqueria Guerrero
508 E 1st St., Newberg, 971-832-8198. 9 am-9 pm daily. [MEXCELLENTE] Considering that Oregon’s wine industry runs on the skilled labor of Mexican-born agriculturalists even more than California money, it makes sense that there’s something of a history of Oregon wine country chefs making tacos. A few years ago, Eric Bechard, the infamous pig-fight aggressor who is probably the most famous chef to ever set up shop in the valley, ran his own late-night shop, Tacos de los Muertos. Now we have Luis Jimenez and Cristina Gonzalez, former sous and pastry chefs, respectively, at Dundee Bistro, taking over Taqueria Guerrero. It’s everything you love about a great taqueria, but with flawless technique and a few light chef-y touches like locally roasted coffee. We highly recommend the massive mojado burrito ($8.95) and all the chili oil you can stand. All the bright, hot salsas are exquisite on street tacos with handmade tortillas that shame almost anything in Portland. MARTIN CIZMAR. LIZZY ACKER
Next week is the biggest week of the year in Oregon wine. By tradition, Thanksgiving weekend is when almost every Willamette Valley winery opens its doors and puts out a cheese plate—see our picks on page 24. But if you’re forgoing the doorbusters to venture down to Dundee, Newberg or McMinnville, you may be surprised to find how many new spots have popped up in the past year. Willamette Valley wine country has had a massive influx of money and ambition. It seems like everybody from Argyle to Panther Creek has a shiny new tasting room. One winery is now making a pinot without any electricity and delivering it to Portland by canoe. In Newberg, a wine shop that opened in the summer of 2014 is now our top pick in the valley. We found two new, stellar, supercasual eateries that alleviated some of the disappointment of the block-long dining complex in a former McMinnville radio station. We even found a standout cannabis dispensary and a crazy-good new apricot cream ale.
WOOD STOCK: Barrels at Domaine Roy.
LIZZY ACKER
Statera Cellars
213 N Yamhill St. (at Omero Cellars), Carlton, 971-303-9773, stateracellars.com. Contact winery for visits. [CHARDONNAY ONLY] “People act like we know what we’re doing,” says Meredith Bell, winemaker at Statera Cellars, which she formed with Luke Mathews in 2014. “We don’t. We’ve only been growing grapes for a few generations. In France, it took centuries to know which grapes grow best in each place.” Is pinot noir really the best grape for the Willamette Valley? Statera aims to test that chestnut by opening what it says will be the first all-chardonnay winery in Oregon—in part because chardonnay is what Bell and Mathews truly love. They’re also growing it in a way Bell believes is the truest expression of both grape and soil: small lot, single vineyard, native yeast, no additives, neutral oak barrels that have deposited their oakiness into previous batches. Bell, a 10-year winemaker and UC Davis viticulture graduate, is knowledgeable and passionate enough that some prestigious plots are offering Statera their fruit, including Corral Creek in the Chehalem Mountains, Anderson Valley and Johan Vineyards. Statera’s first corking of the 2014 vintage will be in January, with sales starting this spring. From what we’ve tasted in barrels, it’ll be well worth grabbing. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
Chalice Farms
1178 Highway 99W, Dundee, 487-6523, chalicefarms.com. 9 am-6 pm daily. [WEED WITH WINE] In one perfect block in Dundee you’ll find Chalice Farms, a taco truck, Deception Brewery and a spiritual life coach. If you had a Westfalia, you would never have to leave the parking lot. You could spend your days getting high and eating tacos, your nights drinking apricot cream ale, and when it all falls apart, your spiritual life coach could help you put it back together. Start at Chalice Farms, one of the state’s finest cannabis growers. The place has a cozy, woodsy feel, with products arranged under glass and accentuated by polished wood. Chalice has a wide selection of strains, including its Mango Kush, which crushed all comers in the state’s largest cannabis competition this year, the Dope Cup. Pick up a pre-roll and smoke it while you wait for your tacos. LIZZY ACKER.
Winderlea Vineyard and Winery
8905 NE Worden Hill Road, Dundee, 554-5900, winderlea.com. 11 am-4 pm daily. [NEW HISTORY] At the top of a hill on the edge of Dundee sits Winderlea Vineyard and Winery. The views
Valley Wine Merchants
112 S College St., Newberg, 538-5388, valleywinemerchants.com. 11 am-6 pm Thursday-Tuesday. [TOP OF THE SHOPS] Valley Wine Merchants, which opened in the summer of 2014, is something very hard to find—a wine shop in the provinces that’s in no way provincial. It’s deeply knowledgeable locally, but with a global perspective that comes from owner Andrew Turner’s time as a chef at Alain Ducasse’s Le Louis XV restaurant in Monte Carlo, and at now-closed Fleur de Lys in San Francisco. The shelves are stocked mostly with nearby grapes that include much smaller brands—with more than 200 local pinot noir labels, along with more than 100 half-bottles. But Turner’s tasting list stems from his itinerant chefhood and deep connections in the Willamette Valley after 10 years of running Ponzi Vineyards’ bar, from a 1998 St. Innocent the vintner says is the best he ever made, to rare French marks like Georges Roumier Burgundy or Didier Dagueneau Blanc Fumé de Pouilly. Tasting prices range up to $24 for a 2-ounce taste of a vintage bottle you might never afford, but go as low as $6 for more economical favorites. Stop in on your way back to Portland and ask what’s good. It almost certainly will be. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
KAOS
645 NE 3rd St., McMinnville, 857-0457 (the Barberry), kaosmac.com. [TGI WINE COUNTRY] Downtown McMinnville’s new KAOS building lives up to its name: It’s all over the place. The downstairs portion of the two-story, wine-themed complex is a steak, salmon and rotisserie-chicken house called the Barberry, which has opulent chandeliers and ’90s earth tones. It looks loosely like a theme restaurant, if the theme were “Orange County money.” That said, $20 will get you a guided tour through six wines from small, local makers—plus a “bonus” off-track wine that currently is a much-sought-after Minimus. Upstairs, the vexingly spelled 1882 Grille has the look of a suburban wine bar, but with country music and football on TV. It has a 16-tap beer menu that includes root-beer-flavored beer from Illinois, and an Absolut-heavy cocktail list that could charitably be called upmarket TGI Fridays. It also serves egregiously undercooked arugula-salami pizza ($16) made by chefs in whites. The fish and chips, though? Damn good. And the service is almost perplexingly excellent— the bartender gently decrumbed us after clearing our pub fries. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
labor and artistic vision would yield the most sumptuous pinot. Isn’t it pretty to think so? ENID SPITZ.
WEE SIPS: Flights at Argyle.
Deception Brewing
are spectacular and the tasting room, which was finished in 2008, making it much older than the other things on this list, takes advantage of every angle. The walls are windows, and a patio stretches along one entire side of the small, modern room. Ask the friendly Scotsman serving your pinot who owned the land before it became Winderlea in 2006, and he’ll say, “A man named Goldschmidt. Maybe you’ve heard of him? He was a bad boy.” Disgraced former Oregon Gov. Neil Goldschmidt owned the land that this winery now occupies, and farmed the grapes here until 2006, two years after this newspaper revealed that he had sexually abused a young teenage girl while he was mayor of Portland in the 1970s. Now, Winderlea serves functional pinot noir to tourists, Goldschmidt lives in exile in France and the woman he abused is dead. She died at age 49 in 2011, after years of suffering from PTSD and drug and alcohol abuse. The pinot’s fine, but the history is what you should remember. LIZZY ACKER.
Illahe Vineyards Project 1899 Pinot Noir
illahevineyards.com. [OLDIE STATION] Oregon winemakers employ some weird concepts, like burying a cow horn filled with a lactating cow’s manure at the equinox to dig up later and use for fertilizer. But Brad Ford’s Illahe Vineyards in Dallas might win for the most unique idea. It’s also the most basic: Make a pinot noir without any modern equipment or electricity. Transported by horse, de-stemmed by hand, pumped into barrels by bike power, fermented without inoculation, tagged with wood-printed labels and delivered to Portland by canoe—Illahe’s Project 1899 pinot proves that a simple concept doesn’t make for a simple process. “The first time it enters your car, it will be in a whole different time,” reads the winery’s description. Maybe more time is what it needs—our bottle (No. 830 of 1,494) of 2012 Project 1899 poured a mild, dare I say gulpable, pinot noir with little more on the nose than lukewarm, grape-infused water. But at $65, this is not the wine to wash down leftovers. After 15 minutes of breathing, it grew a tinge of tannins on the finish. After 30 minutes, it had a whisper of diesel-tinged fermentation, which is ironic. In a simpler world, hard manual
1174 Highway 99W, Dundee, 971-832-8054, deceptionbrewingco.com. 4-9 pm Monday-Thursday, 4-11 pm Friday, noon-11 pm Saturday, noon-9 pm Sunday. [APRICOTS AND CREAM] Dundee’s smallest brewery is situated alongside a Nectar dispensary and a taco truck in what is probably the chillest parking lot in the Willamette Valley. Served by a grizzled ex-Portlander—who we learned left town because of the city’s ample opportunities to blow one’s paycheck on drink—we sampled all 10 of Deception’s brews, the gleaming kettles from which they came on view in the back. The velvet-smooth apricot cream ale, winner of best beer at McMinnville’s Oregon Brews & BBQs festival, is the decidedly best beer in the building, enough so that it is worth carting a growler or two out to the valley to bring home reserves. If you’re hungry or driving, make sure to take advantage of Deception’s bring-your-food policy, or order delivery from La Sierra Mexican Grill across the street, as onsite food is limited to Kirkland Signature beer nuts. WALKER MACMURDO.
Ransom Tasting Room
525 NE 3rd St., McMinnville, ransomspirits.com. 11 am-7 pm Tuesday-Sunday. [LIQUORED UP] If you’ve never stood on the border between Willamina (Timbertown USA) and Sheridan (home to the penitentiary where Suge Knight took a fiveyear, federally-mandated break from the record business), you probably don’t know about Ransom Spirits’ hidden distillery and winery. Ransom’s distilled goods have been a staple in the Willamette Valley bar scene, but for the most part, an obscurity in Portland. Ransom aims to increase visibility with a new tasting room in downtown McMinnville next to Nick’s Italian Cafe. Ransom isn’t building out a new space, but instead claiming a wall of the Peirano & Daughters deli, the former retail shop of the now-defunct Fino in Fondo salumi line. You can still get Olympia Provisions charcuterie or artisanal cheeses and enjoy them with a glass pour of Ransom’s equally great wines, which start at $5, or a cocktail flight, which on our visit featured a Martinez with Ransom’s nutty Old Tom gin and orange bitters. ZACH MIDDLETON. CONT. on page 24 Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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An alphabetical list of your best bets for Thanksgiving weekend wine events in the Willamette Valley. After a day of watching football with your weird uncle, listening to your brother’s screaming children, and preparing a frustratingly elaborate meal, you’ll probably be ready for a glass of wine. Or better yet, a day of wine. That’s the basic idea behind Thanksgiving weekend in Oregon’s wine country. The problem is, without a plan of attack, you can spend more time stuck in Black Friday traffic or withering away in tasting room lines. Don’t worry, I’ve done the hard work for you. Here is my list of the best places to go for great wine, chill people and bottle-poppin’ parties. ZACH MIDDLETON. Alexana Estate Vineyard & Winery 12001 NE Worden Hill Road, Newberg, 537-3100, alexanawinery. com. 10 am-4 pm Friday-Sunday. $20. Located atop the stunning Warden Hill, Alexana sets the bar high for winery views. On a clear day, you can look out to the coast range. The winery will be pouring a “limited production” wine flight for Thanksgiving weekend. Argyle Winery 691 Highway 99W, Dundee, 5388520, 888-427-4953, argylewinery. com. 11 am-5 pm Friday-Sunday. $25. Argyle is the best-known producer of bubbles in Oregon. (Fans of Michael Jordan’s baseball career will be happy to learn it also makes still wines.) Argyle recently opened a huge and spiffy new tasting room (page 22), which is a marked improvement over the previous one, which looked like it may or may not have once been someone’s living room. Belle Pente Vineyard & Winery 12470 NE Rowland Road, Carlton, 852-9500, bellepente.com. 10 am-4 pm Friday-Saturday. $10. Belle Pente wines have a label that looks like it was painted by an elderly relative and a marketing approach that could be generously described as “minimalistic.” But ask any local sommelier or winemaker and they will probably tell you the same thing: These guys produce some of the best wines in the valley, full stop. Cana’s Feast Winery 750 W Lincoln St., Carlton, 852-0002, canasfeastwinery.com. 11 am-4 pm Friday-Saturday. $15. It’s always refreshing to see people experiment in the Willamette Valley in a way that doesn’t seem like a marketing gimmick. Cana’s Feast’s chinato-style fortified wine Chinato d’Erbetti has proved one of its most successful experiments, gaining nods from The Wall Street Journal, The New York Times and, uh, Willamette Week, which has called it “quite possibly our favorite mixed-drink component in the state.” Carlton Winemakers Studio 801 N Scott St., Carlton, 852-6100, winemakersstudio.com. 11 am-4 pm Friday-Sunday. $15. If you want to taste through a wide swath of the region, you don’t necessarily have to drive to each wine producer. Carlton Winemakers Studio brings together some of the best small producers like Andrew Rich, Mad Violets and Hamacher under one roof.
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David Hill Vineyards & Winery 46350 NW David Hill Road, Forest Grove. 992-8545, davidhillwinery.com. 11 am-5 pm Friday-Sunday. $10-$15. Located in Forest Grove (somewhat north of what many consider to be the Willamette Valley wine region), David Hill may seem out of the way for a day of tasting. But there is a staggering amount of history at this winery that may be more interesting to explore than ever, considering it’s the 50th anniversary of the first plantings of pinot noir in Oregon.
Harper Voit Wines 22070 NE Ridge Road, Gaston, 5834221, harpervoit.com. 11 am-4 pm Friday-Saturday. $20. Harper Voit is like a winemaking SEAL team: small scale, precise execution and impressive results. The makers of several fantastic pinot noirs and a mesmerizing pinot blanc, the Harper Voit crew will be pouring at their Gaston winemaking facilities with some of their other small-label clients. Lemelson Vineyards 12020 NE Stag Hollow Road, Carlton, 852-6619, lemelsonvineyards.com. 11 am-4 pm Friday-Saturday. $20. At 12,000 cases of wine production, Lemelson is a good size for a Thanksgiving weekend party. Not so big that you’ll find yourself in a wine-themed amusement park, and not so small that you’re swilling wine out of an old peanut butter jar in some mad scientist’s garage. Patricia Green Cellars 15225 NE North Valley Road, Newberg, 554-0821, patriciagreencellars.com. 10 am-3 pm Friday-Saturday. $25. Patricia Green Cellars employs a winemaking philosophy that may sound boring, but is fascinating in practice: It studies the fruit-producing capabilities of the region by vinifying grapes from methodically subdivided plots of land (appellation, vineyard, block, row). It boasts 21 wines from a single vintage. Scott Paul Wines 128 S Pine St., Carlton, 852-7300, scottpaul.com. Noon-5 pm FridaySunday. $10. In what could be one of the truly unique events of the weekend, Scott Paul Wines is planning a “Gamay Nouveau Celebration,” (as in Oregon’s version of beaujolais nouveau). You’ll know the wine is new because it’ll be poured directly from the tank. Shea Wine Cellars 12321 NE Highway 240, Newberg, 241-6527, sheawinecellars.com. 11 am-4 pm Friday-Saturday. $15. You know how all chart-topping pop music is basically written or produced by like two dudes? That’s how the Shea Vineyard (which provides the fruit for the titular Shea Wine Cellars) is for providing fruit to the highest-quality wine producers in Oregon. As of 2011, Beaux Frères, Bergstrom, Ken Wright Cellars, St. Innocent and others were using Shea Vineyard fruit. Trisaetum Winery 18401 Ribbon Ridge Road, Newberg, 538-9898, trisaetum.com. 11 am-4 pm Friday-Saturday. $15. Go to Trisaetum for riesling. Dry, sweet, and everything in between. It’s all great. Walter Scott Wines 6130 Bethel Heights Road NW, Salem, 971-209-7786, walterscottwine.com. 11 am-4 pm Saturday-Sunday. $15. One of the most popular new topics of discussion in the Willamette Valley is this mysterious phenomenon known as the “Van Duzer Corridor effect.” It’s got something to do with cold breezes and magic. What you need to know is that Walter Scott Wines takes fruit from Eola Hills vineyards that are in a prime location to take advantage of this effect. I’m sure they’d be happy to explain what that means for their wines over Thanksgiving weekend. Whistling Ridge Vineyards 14551 NE North Valley Road, Newberg, 538-6641, whistlingridgevineyards.com. 11 am-5 pm Friday-Sunday. $5. Full disclosure: I’m friends with the Ransoms who own and operate Whistling Ridge Vineyards. Which is exactly why I feel comfortable recommending them. They’ll probably be pouring the wines, and the tasting is only $5, so what do you have to lose?
W H I T N E Y S A L G A D O / W W S TA F F
EXCELLENT TASTE
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RICK VODICKA
BOOKS
Geeked Up GARY GYGAX AND THE RISE OF DUNGEONS & DRAGONS BY WALKER MACMURDO
wmacmurdo@wweek.com
There was a time when Game of Thrones was just a really long book, most Marvel superheroes were unheard of outside of dingy comic-book stores, and fantasy football was something that made your bachelor uncle really upset. Now, nerd culture is so ubiquitous that three-part, multimillion-dollar fantasy epics are mainstays at the movie theater. In Empire of Imagination, Michael Witwer chronicles the tumultuous life of Gary Gygax, whose tabletop role-playing game Dungeons & Dragons inspired nationwide moral panic and paved the way for the transformation of nerdery from an obscure backwater to a major tributary of the mainstream. On Thursday, Witwer will be at Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing to talk about Gary’s humble roots in small-town Wisconsin, his rise to national celebrity and the paradigm-shifting impact of D&D on gaming culture. WW: After talking to so many people about Gary and his story, what kind of person do you think Gygax was? Michael Witwer: He was a creative genius, and was much admired among his colleagues. He was also hot-tempered, and was not liked by a lot of people who worked with him closely and collaborated with him. He was extremely adaptable and bright, even though he hadn’t finished high school, let alone college. This was a guy with a tremendous ability to read, process information and crank out creative material. He could write thousands of words a day. A lot of what went on with Gary was dictated by his circumstances, and he would often throw fuel on the fire of his own problems to make them worse.
is a rags-to-riches-to-rags story, and on top of that you have this incredible corporate story of [Gygax’s company and former D&D publisher] TSR, which was very similar to Facebook and Apple—lots of corporate intrigue, backbiting and hostile takeovers. On top of that, you have this social story, not only what happened with the game, but what happened in the gaming community. You heard all of this stuff about psychological dangers and allegations of the game being connected to devil worship—this stuff is crazy. The comedian Patton Oswalt said in a 2010 piece for Wired that “pop culture is nerd culture.” Do you think there was a shift over the last few years? To put it simply, we live in an era where it is chic to be geek. All geekiness has ever meant to me is unapologetic passion and enthusiasm for something. I think the reason why it started with D&D culture is that people don’t play the game passively. You are sitting around a table with a bunch of people, and if everyone is not really committed to it and engaged, there is no game. The idea of geekiness came out of the notion that for some reason, these guys were really into this goofy thing. When I grew up in the ’80s, in a weird sort of way, it was cool not to be into stuff. It was cool to not care about stuff, to be like “whatever.”
Empire of Imagination is a narrative nonfiction biography, where parts of Gary Gygax’s story are reconstructed through a combination of real-life anecdotes and dramatizing of key events in Gygax’s life. How did you come to write the biography that way? When I first started working on it, I was writing different chapters in different styles, and one of the styles was a creative
nonfiction approach, the style that the book ended up being. The thing that kept striking me was that this is a story about a storyteller. The more I got into Gary’s head, the more it didn’t feel right to be talking about this guy in very matter-of-fact prose. I started to learn that his personal story was every bit as interesting as all of the corporate stuff, and all of the controversy surrounding the game. Gary’s personal life
I remember being horribly embarrassed about playing Magic: the Gathering in high school. It was my secret shame. Just a few months ago, I heard people talking about it at a party. Exactly. To a certain extent, D&D players were the original geeks. When D&D came out, there were very few fantasy games out there. The fact that we’ve got multibilliondollar movies like Lord of the Rings or the Marvel stuff, that’s just stuff that would not have been at all possible 20 years ago. The early adopters were the same people who were really into computers, the people who are the masters of the information age. When you look at it that way, the game has tremendously far-reaching implications. GO: Michael Witwer is at Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., on Thursday, Nov. 19. 7 pm. Free.
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“They’re putting in some kind of toffee bar at the old spot, for soccer people.” page 47
STARTERS
BITE-SIZED PORTLAND CULTURE NEWS.
WTF KKK: Last Thursday, a rumor spread across social media in Portland that the Ku Klux Klan was marching down Northeast Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard. “Hey #Portland, be careful out there, the KKK is out in front of the Nike store in full regalia on MLK! #racism #hate” tweeted @ lovemotionstory. “The KKK is rolling deep in the Portland metro area right now but we can’t promote hip-hop in our clubs. What do the police do in this town?” tweeted @EasyEgg. While it’s difficult to figure out where the report originated, the earliest post we could find came from a Facebook page called “PFLAG Black Portland Chapter.” These reports came at an interesting time. Earlier in the week, WW reported that the KKK was using jelly beans to help recruit potential members in Gresham. As for reports of the KKK marching in Portland, there is no evidence—either from photos or police—it ever took place. Portland police spokesman Sgt. Pete Simpson tells WW he first heard about the alleged march from media asking questions about it. He says he called dispatch and all precincts, but “no police could verify it happened.” Some believe the Police Bureau is not telling the truth: “When someone cites the Portland Police Bureau as a reliable source to prove the KKK were not on MLK, you must be new here,” wrote @natalievega on Twitter. MOAR RAMEN: Are you a Portland chain restaurant? If the answer is yes, we will see you very soon on Northwest 23rd Avenue. Micah Camden and Katie Poppe have applied for a liquor license to open a third Boxer Ramen location in the old Two Tarts Bakery space at 23rd and Kearney Street, within eyeshot of the pair’s Blue Star Donuts, as well as Little Big Burger, which they recently sold to the folks who own Hooter’s.
TO D D WA L B E R G
SECOND BASE: Discogs, the Portland-based online music database, has announced plans to roll out several new features in the next year to celebrate its 15th anniversary. The IMDB of records was launched in 2000 by Intel employee Kevin Lewandowski with a Wikipedia-style format and the goal of cataloging every known piece of recorded music. It has since grown to include nearly 3 million users, plus an active marketplace for buying and selling records. Now, Discogs is beta-testing its first app, along with spinoff sites geared toward record stores and turntables. In addition, the site is releasing what it calls “snack-able” statistics related to its operation, including the total number of cataloged releases (6 million), the most popular genres (rock, which has gradually overtaken electronic music) and most expensive items sold on its marketplace (a copy of straight-edge hardcore band Judge’s 1989 Chung King Can Suck It went for $5,811.48).
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MAYOR DITSON: Bim Ditson’s run for Portland mayor is looking a lot more real. The And And And drummer will formally launch his campaign Nov. 21 at Bunk Bar. Ditson, who promises to “give a voice to the cultural identity of our city,” will collect signatures to get his name on the ballot and recruit volunteers. The event will also double as a food drive. Wooden Indian Burial Ground and Sam Coomes of Quasi will perform.
HEADOUT
WILLAMETTE WEEK
WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE
THURSDAY NOV. 19 ZOIGLHAUS GRAND OPENING [BEER] There will be discounts on great German-influenced beers from Pints brewer Alan Taylor at a huge new brewhouse, plus balloons, live music and hourly giveaways. Zoiglhaus, 5716 SE 92nd Ave., 971-339-2374. 5 pm. HUGH MASEKELA & LARRY WILLIS [INT’L JAZZ] The South African trumpeter and funky pianist met during the 1960s, but it was only in 2005 that the pair billed themselves as a proper duo, issuing a monstrous boxed set of standards. That Masekela and Willis still can inject adventure into some well-worn material is a testament to their taste and friendship. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., Suite 110, 228-3895. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. 21+.
FRIDAY NOV. 20
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THE 3RD FLOOR XXXIII: THE FINAL CHAPTER [COMEDY] The grandfathers of Portland sketch comedy are retiring. Twenty years after three PSU drama kids formed the 3rd Floor with dreams of channeling the Kids in the Hall, their farewell show promises Easter eggs for longtime fans and new material. Milagro Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 8 pm. $19.
SATURDAY NOV. 21 YOUTH LAGOON [PSYCH POP] Trevor Powers’ warbly bedroom symphonies are a distant, more spaced-out cousin to fellow Boise natives Built to Spill. On his third LP, Savage Hills Ballroom, Powers shines under the polish of producer Ali Chant, setting a gorgeous foundation for his musings on the ugly realities of toxic relationships, self-medication and death. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 231-9663. 9 pm. $23. 21+.
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AL-STRAVAGANZA [WEIRD BURLESQUE] If you weren’t imagining Weird Al Yankovic in a gold string bikini, flaunting ample cleavage and eye-fucking you from a massive martini glass, now you are. Thanks to the touring Weird Al-inspired burlesque troupe Tight and Nerdy, Funhouse will be filled with belly dancers and burlesque performers doing “Polka Face.” Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 9 pm. $20.
KIM HERBST
SUNDAY NOV. 22 SCI-FI AUTHORFEST 9 [NEERRDDSS!] Powell’s brings a star-packed group of sci-fi writers, including Brent Weeks, Hugo Award-winner Kristine Kathryn Rusch and Annie Bellet, who was nominated for a Hugo but decided to withdraw because of some Sad Puppies and a whole lot of whinging. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651. 4 pm. Free.
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LET KNOWLEDGE SERVE EVERYONE PORTLAND STATE UNIVERSITY MOST INNOVATIVE Harvard, Stanford, MIT, Cornell, Portland State. We are proud to join the list of top universities named as the nation’s “Most Innovative” by U.S. News & World Report. We offer a four-year degree guarantee, our unique Urban Honors College and a curriculum that fosters community engagement and creative solutions. No wonder we keep such elite company.
CAROLYN DAVIDSON ’7 1
DARRELL G R ANT
Designed the Nike swoosh
Nationally acclaimed jazz artist
Davidson was an art student at Portland State when a young instructor named Phil Knight asked her to come up with a logo for a sneaker company. Her design became one of the best-known icons in the world.
Grant, a PSU professor of jazz studies, motivates fearless young musicians like Meghan Wilson and Kanda Mbenza-Ngoma to find their voice and share it with the world.
FEARLESS ARCHITECTURE grad student
Ashley Schahfer designs spaces that invite and accommodate everyone, regardless of ability.
TOGETHER WE ARE FEARLESS Learn more at go.pdx.edu/serve and we’ll send you a free PSU decal.
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
Thali Supper Club
Leena Ezekiel’s Thali Indian pop-up celebrates the region’s festival of lights with food from all over the subcontinent, including a cumin garbanzo and coconut dish, cardamom-spiced goat and mustardgreen paneer. BYOB. Din Din, 920 SE Glisan St., 754-6456. 6 pm. $65.
1. Taqueria Guerrero
508 E 1st St., Newberg, 971-832-8198. It’s everything you love about a great taqueria, but with flawless technique and a few small chef-y touches like locally roasted coffee. Get the massive mojado burrito and a bunch of chili oil, or the lengua or shrimp street tacos.
2. Tails & Trotters
525 NE 24th Ave., 477-8682, tails-trotters.myshopify.com. The much-anticipated prosciutto isn’t out until Thanksgiving, but in the meantime, we heartily suggest you stop by for a lunchtime sandwich or soup made with the best smoked ham in Portland.
3. The Diner
2580 SE Stratus Ave., McMinnville, 971-261-2191, thedinermcminnville.com. Is it ever worth a drive to McMinnville for a club sandwich? Not until this one: The fried-chicken club at the Diner, with every ingredient from mayo to bread scratchmade, is a revelation.
4. Imperial
410 SW Broadway, 228-7222, imperialpdx.com. Imperial, our 2015 Restaurant of the Year, has one of the best friedchicken dishes you’ll ever eat, with honey from beehives on the roof.
5. 503 Burger Co.
4233 N Mississippi Ave. (Mississippi pod), 503burger.com. This burger cart takes as much care with its basic ketchup-mustard burger as with the bacon-Gorgonzola-arugula monstrosities.
4537 SE Division St., 971-373-8264, woodsmantavern.com.
Duane Sorenson’s wood-grained cocktail bar always has an iced stack of oysters atop it— especially on all-night oyster-hour Mondays. Sorenson was holding court over customers and bar staff on our Monday visit, and each oyster was extraordinarily generous—with Netarts as meaty as we’ve seen, the usually dainty Shigokus substantive for their kind but still sweet as artisan candies, and Hove Coves a voluminous cloud of sweet softness. The mignonette was dry enough to be metallic. Selection: Netarts, Shigoku, Hove Cove, Blue Pool, Torkes. T
Pastry chef Brandon Weeks will serve brunch every weekend in the kitchen of Hogan’s Goat Pizza, starting Nov. 21, with a $20 modular prix fixe, with choices like gourmet Scotch eggs, banana-cranberry crepes, and pineapple elderflower mimosas. Hogan’s Goat Pizza, 5222 NE Sacramento St., 320-7805. 9 am. $20.
MEATIEST SHELLS: The Woodsman Tavern
November is the month oysters bloom. You don’t have to follow the old only-eat-inmonths-with-an-R rule anymore—farms have taken care of that—but bivalves are still best in the cold months, when the wild harvests mature. They’re also best, we submit, on the West Coast. Ours are bigger, sweeter and flat-out prettier than the crop in even pre-oil-spill New Orleans. We took a snapshot of Portland at peak oyster, visiting only places where you can walk in and order at least three different types of oyster from a bar, drink a shot and walk out with the devil on your mind. Fancy sit-down restaurants with one or two varietals need not apply. Tablecloths need not apply. Shooters are accepted wherever offered. Cocktail sauce is given the side-eye. ALL-AROUND WINNER: B&T Oyster Bar 3113 SE Division St., 236-0205, btoysterbar.com.
IN
HunnyMilk $20 Brunch
mkorfhage@wweek.com
B&T Oyster Bar (formerly Block + Tackle, formerly Wafu) acts as a busy front for chef Trent Pierce’s backroom prix-fixe fish church, Roe, our 2013 Restaurant of the Year. But B&T also shows Pierce’s roots as a second-generation fishhouse owner, with either some serious sourcing connections or a great eye for oysters on display. Each oyster, without fail, was a pillowy work of art, shucked both shell- and grit-free and accompanied by a full-flavored, surprisingly peppery mignonette and a mild Thai chili sauce. Both were pleasant accents, and both were unnecessary—the equivalent of a great chimichurri on an already excellent steak. Selection: The biggest list in town. On our visit, there were Pacific, Netarts, Torkes, Sea Cow, Hama Hama, Shigoku, Medicine Creek and Kumamoto, each fully described on the menu with tasting notes like “copper” or “watermelon.” Bonus oysterage: The $3 shooters are acidic, citric treats made with tomato juice and fish sauce, and they are delightful. Prices: Oysters are $3 to $3.75 each, but $2 at happy hour (5-7 pm daily, after 9 pm TuesdayThursday, after 10 pm weekends). BEST DELIVERY METHOD: Trifecta 726 SE 6th Ave., 841-6675, trifectapdx.com.
Despite its red walls, open kitchen and fashionforward cocktail menu replete with sherries and amaros, Trifecta might as well be a Chesapeake Bay spot, doing equal time among various renditions of oyster, wedge salad and big-ass steak. The half-shell oysters come only in half-dozens, however, and the oysters were a bit thin and uneven on our visit, as if a crop of the farm runts. The classic mignonette is the best of its kind in Portland, rich and flavorful and balanced among pepper and shallot—neither cidery nor overdry. But the real way to eat oysters here is the fouroyster, half-shell addition to honeyed ham rolls, like the fishermen of Maine. Selection: Gold Creek, Torkes, Reach Island. Bonus oysterage: A slider on brioche with
2225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 284-3366, oxpdx.com.
Whey Bar is best known as Argentine steakhouse Ox’s waiting room, but this brick-boxed chamber echoing LCD Soundsystem at high volume contains beautiful attention to oysters. The sweet and lovely grit-free selections on a three-deep menu include the ubiquitous, expected Netarts and Shigoku. Along with a Thai chili ponzu and horseradish cocktail sauce, the oysters were offered up with a little dish of dill mignonette. It turns out this is a perfect solution to the sweetness and brine of oysters—an accent that brings out their best qualities while softening their angularity. Selection: Netarts, Shigoku, Tom’s Cove. Bonus oysterage: None. Prices: Oysters are $3 to $3.75. BEST FREE-FOR-ALL: EaT: An Oyster Bar 3808 N Williams Ave., No. 122, 281-1222, eatoysterbar.com.
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Double Dragon 4th Anniversary
Double Dragon—home to excellent banh mi and even better kimchi hot dogs—will turn 4 this Saturday. They’re celebrating with $4 sammies, $4 daiquiris with 4-year rum and $4 Old Forester Birthday Bourbon. Sensing a theme? It’s subtle. Double Dragon, 1235 SE Division St., 230-8340. 8 pm.
BY M ATTH E W KO RFH AGE
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SATURDAY, NOV. 21
BEST INNOVATION IN MIGNONETTE: Whey Bar
cabbage or a full baked-oyster plate with pork sausage and lemongrass. Prices: Oysters are $16 by the half-dozen or $19 for four with ham, honey and buns.
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Zoiglhaus Grand Opening
A brewery grows in Lents. Discounts on great German-influenced beers from Pints brewer Alan Taylor at a huge new brewhouse, plus balloons, live music and hourly giveaways. Zoiglhaus, 5716 SE 92nd Ave., 971-339-2374 5 pm.
SEVEN TOP SPOTS TO GET A HALF-DOZEN ON THE HALF-SHELL.
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THURSDAY, NOV. 19
Peak Oyster
check, check, check and check. Prices: Oysters are $3 to $3.75, $18 a half-dozen, and $35 a dozen, with a $24 selected-oyster dozen at happy hour (4-6 pm, and all day Monday and Tuesday).
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By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.
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Highly recommended.
TASTE-OFF
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= WW Pick.
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FOOD & DRINK
SHELL STATION: Six varieties of oysters at B&T Oyster Bar.
Bonus oysterage: If you want to overload on umami, you can get bone marrow with smoked oyster ravigote on top. Holy shit. Prices: Oysters are $3.25 each, $36 a dozen, with price cuts to $2 on two selections from 5 to 7 pm and all night Monday. MOST CLASSIC: Dan & Louis Oyster Bar 208 SW Ankeny St., 227-5906, danandlouis.com.
Old Town’s Dan & Louis is Portland’s most hallowed oyster tradition—and perhaps the only one that matters, still owned by the fifth generation of 1907 founder Louis Wachsmuth’s family. The English-bar-style space is cavernous, and the oyster selection is deep, but can go all over the map—literally—with East Coast oysters like briny Virginica making their way onto the menu alongside sweet Sea Cows that are their own tiny piece of heaven, and Netarts of variable generosity. The shells arrive, sadly, with only cocktail sauce, lemon and horseradish. Selection: Blue Pool, Torkes, Virginica, Netarts, Willapa Bay, Sea Cow. Bonus oysterage: Oyster po’boy? Oyster stew? Baked oyster, grilled oyster, fried oyster? Check,
New Orleans-style EaT was not necessarily the best spot for execution—a couple of the oysters showed crunching evidence of hasty knife work—but in terms of overall dedication to the oyster in all its forms, in an environment that feels like you stepped into an upscale docktown bar, EaT is perfect. A Petite oyster was a meaty burst of flavor, and a Sweet was delicate and cloudlike. Prices on a dozen are as low as anywhere, a selection of five $3.50 shooters are all alcoholic and have chili-infused heat that lingers, baked oysters may arrive with a touch of absinthe flavor, and the oyster po’boy sports comeback sauce that tickles the palate with pickling. Selection: Pearl Point, Yearling, Petite, Sweet, Netarts. Bonus oysterage: It’s all in the bonus. Prices: Oysters are $3 to $3.50, $16 a half dozen, and $29 a dozen, with $2 select oysters from 5 to 7 pm and all day Tuesday. BEST DEAL: Little Bird Bistro 219 SW 6th Ave., 688-5952, littlebirdbistro.com.
This downtown French bistro has become an amazing bar hangout since chef Gabe Rucker decided to split time with his Le Pigeon restaurant and weirded up Little Bird’s menu with corn-dog charcuterie and fried-chicken coq au vin. The oysters are lovingly prepared and already sweet by themselves, but a fig mignonette that’s as chewy as the oysters makes them into a confection. Horseradish, likewise, is softened with creme. All is candied and soft here. Selection: This was the only exception to our three-oyster rule. Little Bird had Sea Cow and Medicine Creek only. Bonus oysterage: None. Prices: $1.50 oysters every day! (2:30-5 pm and 10 pm-close.) They’re $3 otherwise. While compiling this list, we also visited Jake’s Famous Crawfish, RingSide Fish House, Southpark and Bar Avignon. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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MUSIC FEATURE
It’s a Real Small Town THE STORY BEHIND EVERCLEAR’S SPARKLE AND FADE—AND WHY SO MANY PEOPLE HATE THE MAN BEHIND IT. BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R
mcizmar@wweek.com
In 2011, Everclear frontman Art Alexakis finally gave the people of Portland what they wanted: He moved back to California. Before Fred Armisen, Alexakis served as the talisman for local cool-keepers and vexated artists to focus their insecurity and frustration. For 20 years, Alexakis has been seen as a boor who came to pillage this paradise, scavenging the metaphorical copper wire from the old bungalows and poaching the old-growth pines. In a Willamette Week cover story in May 1995, published as Everclear played Letterman and had a single near the top of the Billboard charts, former music editor Richard Martin dubbed Alexakis “the most unpopular musician in Portland.” It was a durable title: Fifteen years later, The Portland Mercury called him “The Most Hated Musician in Portland.” Why was Alexakis unable to make peace with Portland, a proudly blue-collar town that might have embraced a kid who grew up in a housing project, saw his older brother killed by heroin and poured his pain into a heartwrenching album rife with death, addiction and abuse? To understand, you have to go back to the run-up to the recording of the band’s landmark album, 1995’s Sparkle and Fade. It is the best album ever recorded by a Portland band—vivid stories told through a singular sound that imbues the thump of post-grunge pop punk with a serrated metallic edge and little bits of soft, greasy twang. And yet, the record never really got a fair shake here. Its success was overshadowed by indie ethics, xenophobia and a feud born of two charismatic frontmen wooing the same beguiling, young record-store clerk. This week, Alexakis breezes through the city that birthed his career and daughter to play his masterpiece in full. While Alexakis and former Everclear bassist Craig Montoya declined to be interviewed for this piece, we were able to conduct lengthy interviews with two former Everclear drummers, one almost drummer, and record’s co-producer. Here is the story of Sparkle and Fade, told as they remember it and through previously published stories. Read a longer version at wweek.com. As Art Alexakis tells it, he kicked a drug habit and moved from L.A. to San Francisco in his late 20s. At age 30, he was nearing his expiration date as a rock star. He was also expecting a child with his younger girlfriend, Jenny Dodson, a Portland native. Shortly after moving here, Alexakis placed a classified ad in local music newspaper The Rocket. The only two people to respond were bassist Craig Montoya and drummer Scott Cuthbert. The fledgling band held its first rehearsal when Alexakis’ daughter, Annabella, was 4 days old. Scott Cuthbert: Our first gig was with Napalm Beach at Satyricon on a Wednesday night. I thought that was big. Just watching Art’s wizardry, getting cool local artists to do our posters, and us running around town putting up posters like a real band. It’s a testament to what Art was driven to do. He did not give up. He was going to go.
good kids, mad city: (From left) greg Eklund, michael Wade douglass, art alexakis, Rob cunningham and craig montoya immediately after the recording of 1995’s Sparkle and Fade in madison, Wis.
That attitude was at odds with Portland’s ambitionallergic indie-rock establishment, most of whom were a little younger than Alexakis and without the responsibilities of supporting a family. Cuthbert: Coming in, this guy from San Francisco, who knew how to work the media and he knew how to play songs, and he was personality-plus onstage—people kinda hated that. That wasn’t what was cool at the time. There were also tensions of a personal nature. Dodson, Alexakis’ girlfriend and his baby daughter’s mother, had made quite an impression on the local scenesters before she moved to San Francisco. Her biggest fan was a guy named Pete Krebs, frontman of Sub Pop signee Hazel, then king of Portland’s indie-rock scene. Cuthbert: Art hated Hazel because that was his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend, and he wouldn’t give up on her. Pete is an artist, and he feels it. He was in love with Jenny, and he wouldn’t give it up. The tension between Krebs and Alexakis was laid bare in a August 1996 Spin magazine piece. According to the story, hostilities in the scene exploded after Alexakis hit Dodson on the arm, earning a night in jail and 24 weeks of angermanagement counseling. Cuthbert: It pissed Art off that I had a Hazel bumper sticker on my Fiat. I’m kind of an asshole. I knew it pissed him off, and I didn’t really care. Like, “What’s your problem, man? I like Hazel!” The bumper sticker wasn’t the only issue between Cuthbert and Alexakis. The drummer liked to improvise, which frustrated his bandmates. Alexakis had put word out he was looking for a new drummer, luring candidates to a show at a club in Eugene. Greg Eklund had recently quit his band, Jolly Mon, and was at the gig to check out the opener, Kpants. Greg Eklund: I happened to know the sound guy that was on tour with them, and he took me aside and was like, “Hey, listen, Everclear is about to get signed, I think, but one of the conditions is they have to drop their drummer.” And I was like, ‘“Hey, I’m here to try to get into this other band, Kpants.”
Little did I know that while I was at that show to try to get the Kpants gig, Everclear was there with Scott Cuthbert playing drums, and unbeknownst to me until later, there was another drummer there that Everclear had secretly asked to come down and watch the show. That drummer was Rob Cunningham, who wanted to quit his Seattle band, the Lemons, and join a new project. He was the leading candidate for the Everclear gig...until he fell down two flights of stairs the day of his audition. Rob Cunningham: I went down to where my gear was, at our rehearsal place down in Kent, Wash. It was on the second story— worst rehearsal space ever in that regard. You had to load your shit up two flights of stairs to get to the loft space, which was the practice space. It’d been sprinkling a bit, which it does occasionally in Washington. I took a load of stuff down, loaded my car up, and went back for another load. I just got overambitious. I was in a hurry to get out of there, and I took a spill from almost the top of the staircase with some drum cases. When I got to the bottom, my left wrist was pretty tweaked. I just left the stuff laying where it was and drove to the emergency room. Eklund: There was a punk-rock record store at like 17th and Hawthorne, and [Alexakis and Montoya] knew the [owner], so they just said, “Come down and audition in the backroom.” I played one song, “Nervous & Weird,” and they both stopped and looked at each other, and were like, “Do we need to talk about this anymore? You’re in the band if you want.” And I was like, “OK, rad.” Within a week Eklund, Montoya and Alexakis would fly down to Los Angeles to sign with Capitol Records. Cunningham was with them, too. Eklund: The dude that was supposed to audition for Everclear and fell down the stairs and broke his wrist? Art made him the tour manager because he felt bad for him. cont. on page 38 Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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MUSIC Cunningham: It was never expressly said, but the implication was, that if something happens with Greg—things don’t work out, personalities don’t mesh—you’d be there in the wings, a safety net if you will. It made it incredibly awkward, and I can only imagine what it must have been like for Greg.
Otherclear WHERE ARE ALL THE EX-MEMBERS OF EVERCLEAR NOW?
joN cRuz
After signing with Capitol Records, Everclear did a few more small tours and oversaw the re-release of their first record, World of Noise, which had been recorded for $400 on Portland indie label Tim/Kerr. Then, it was time to record Sparkle and Fade. Alexakis had the material ready to go.
SparklIng: Everclear gets its platinum records.
Eklund: I remember feeling really lucky that I was involved with someone like this because all the bands I’d been in, we’d never had a songwriter per se. It was more about jamming out something cool.
Scott cuthbert
(drums, 1992-94) bEFOrE EVErclEar: Drum and Bugle corps. nOW: Directs marching band at Astoria High School.
Alexakis ultimately controlled the Sparkle and Fade sessions, but since he had almost no studio experience, he tapped Michael Wade Douglass to co-produce. Though Douglass tried to convince Alexakis to record at A&M Records in Hollywood, he booked time at Butch Vig’s Smart Studios in Madison, Wis., where Nirvana recorded Nevermind.
craig Montoya
(bass, 1992-2003) bEFOrE EVErclEar: Went to high school in Spokane, was briefly in band named Soul Hammer. nOW: Works as a manager at cD Baby, occasionally plays in a Slayer tribute band.
greg Eklund
Michael Wade Douglass: [Alexakis] had a vision, and his vision was damned-near complete. And, in retrospect, he was right. He knew what he was doing. He could be rigid and not necessarily open to suggestion, but he did know what he was doing.
Sparkle and Fade wasn’t just Everclear’s creative high point, it was also the most fun the classic lineup had in the band. Thanks went partly to Rob Cunningham, the drummer-turned-road manager, who helped offset the tension while he made travel arrangements for band’s next tour.
But that rigidity could be frustrating. Everclear was under the tutelage of legendary A&R man Perry Watts-Russell. Alexakis expressed respect for Watts-Russell’s business acumen, but was chafed by some of his suggestions.
Douglass: It was a fun record to make. Rob contributed a lot in terms of vibe—he was just fun. Like, we got word one day that Marie Osmond was coming to do some overdubs in the studio upstairs. We were young at the time, and Marie Osmond was like Julie Newmar to us, she was adolescent sexual-fantasy material. We made a point of hanging out in the lounge upstairs as long as we could to try to catch a glimpse of her. Rob had this habit that we all teased him about of not closing the bathroom door when he went in to take a piss. So he was actually in the bathroom taking a piss when Marie Osmond walks in. She had just gotten off her tour bus and had to use the bathroom, and the door was open, so she just walked right in there.... The next thing you know, Rob comes walking out with his fist in the air like, “Marie Osmond saw my penis!”
Eklund: The A&R guy at Capitol said, “Yeah, we think ‘Santa Monica’ is the single, but it needs a second chorus, it’s not long enough.” “You Make Me Feel Like a Whore” was written in response to that because Art was like, “No, I like [‘Santa Monica’] the way it was,” and the A&R guy was like, “You should double the chorus.” Art wrote that basically as a “fuck you.” If you listen the lyrics, it’s basically just him talking to the A&R guy. “You Make Me Feel Like a Whore” is a rarity among Everclear songs because it’s clear what’s real and what’s not. Alexakis’ stories of relapses, overdoses, domestic strife and death mingle truth and fiction in a way that’s hard for anyone to parse, even the people playing on the records. Eklund: An example of that is “Queen of the Air.” I remember when I heard it, I was like, “Wow, man, I’m really sorry about your aunt, that’s a terrible story.” And he was like, “Oh, no, I made that up, none of that is true.” It’d taken so long for me to work up the nerve to approach him and just be like, “I’m really sorry.” I remember being completely crushed that none of it was true, because I’d read it as a literal suicide off a bridge by someone that was his mom and no one ever told him. That was completely made up. 38
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
cuThbErT
Eklund: On that tour, we played a place in Kansas City [Kan.] called Memorial Hall. I remember looking down into the field next to Memorial Hall, and there were dudes with orange vests and parking wands waving people into spots. I was like, “Holy shit. We’ve made it. There’s dudes whose only jobs down there is a parking spot.” For some reason, that struck me. Everclear’s classic lineup stayed together for a full decade. In 2003, Montoya and Eklund left—no one wants to discuss the specifics. Alexakis has since been dismissive of the two men who were at his side for every meaningful moment in his career. Art Alexakis, via The Oregonian: I saw ’em a couple years ago when we were inducted into the Oregon Music Hall of Fame, and that was nice. That was the third version of the band. It’s always been my band from the beginning, as a vehicle for my songwriting, for my singing.
Cuthbert: [Alexakis] has never been cool in Portland. Not from the get-go, man. It was some resentment. People were jealous of his talent. And I hate him, too—but he’s got something that people love, so what are you gonna say? He’s never been on the inside, he’s always had to bust his way through a bunch of “cool” people.
Eklund: I found out about [the induction] online—someone was like, “Buy tickets to the Everclear induction to the Oregon Music Hall of Fame!” I was like, “No one’s contacted me, what the fuck?” And it turns out no one was going to contact me because it was only Art who was accepting the award. And I was like, “Fuck that, there’s no way I’m going to let him accept the award without me or Craig there.” So I made a big stink and they ended up inviting us. Afterward, it was a really surreal moment—I ended up walking off the stage, and Everclear were headlining. So I watched Everclear from the side of the stage. Everything at that point left. It was a total release.
It took seven months for Sparkle and Fade to crack the Billboard 200, but by January 1996 it was atop the Heatseekers chart.
SEE IT: Everclear plays Sparkle and Fade at Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., with Hydra Melody, on Wednesday, Nov. 18. 7:30 pm. Sold out. 21+.
Everclear returned to Portland after recording and touring and found that lots of other local indie bands had gotten signed, too. That didn’t necessarily make Everclear any more popular with scenesters.
(drums, 1994-2003) bEFOrE EVErclEar: Played in bands around Virginia. nOW: Lives in Nebraska, plays drums in Storm Large’s touring band.
Sam hudson
(bass, 2003-09) bEFOrE EVErclEar: Session work. nOW: continues session work; has toured with ’80s pop star Tiffany and American Idol finalist Siobhan Magnus, among others.
Eric bretl
(drums, 2003-04) bEFOrE EVErclEar: Drummed for retro-glam act Flipp under the name “Kilo Bale.” nOW: In witness protection, seemingly.
brett Snyder
(drums, 2004-08) bEFOrE EVErclEar: Acted as a drum tech for Everclear. nOW: Lives in Portland.
Tommy Stewart
(drums, 2008-09) bEFOrE EVErclEar: Played drums in Godsmack. nOW: Works as a personal trainer in Los Angeles.
Sasha Smith
(keyboards, 2009-11) bEFOrE EVErclEar: Apprenticed in a recording studio with Tom Waits. nOW: Doing session work, mostly recently scored the crispin Glover film Aimy in the Cage.
Johnny hawthorn
(guitar, 2009) bEFOrE EVErclEar: cycled around the “bar, club and backyard party circuit” in L.A. nOW: Playing Southern california bars with his blues-rock band.
Jordan plosky
(drums, 2009-10) bEFOrE EVErclEar: Session work. nOW: Started comicBlitz, the “Netflix of comics.”
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MUSIC
DATES HERE
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
WEDNESDAY, NOV. 18 Lucero
[TATTOOED TWANG] Memphis is known as the birthplace of many things, rock ’n’ roll and Southern soul included. Modern alt-country centerpiece Lucero has always respected that heritage, and the group routinely issues a new album of raspy tunes every year. All a Man Should Do, its latest, favors midtempo balladry more than the band’s typical countrified rave-ups, but it also balances the sounds of the South better than most. Stacks of horns back frontman Ben Nichols’ sweet confessions in a style reminiscent of Sticky Fingers-era Stones, while organ and a peppering of small details continue to color songs regarding his biggest dilemmas: women and work. BRANDON WIDDER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St. 8 pm. $20 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.
label debut, All We Need, combining acoustic guitars and blissfully psychedelic arrangements with a hippie-dippie message of positivity delivered via a flow unabashedly ripped from Andre 3000. It’s a novel bit of genre potpourri, sure, but it’s also maddening in its unevenness. The seeds of a special artist are there, though. They might take a few years to sprout. MATTHEW SINGER. Hawthorne Theater, 1507 SE Cesar Chavez Blvd. 7 pm. $15 advance, $18 day of show. All ages.
Lucius, Nik Freitas
[TOO LATE] Sixties girl-group harmonies. Matching hairdos. Sometimes even matching multicolored wigs. Coordinated outfits that range from patterned peplums to sequined shifts. An array of percussion instruments that don’t know what’s
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Raury, India Shaw, Magic Fades
[HIPPIE HOP] Straddling the line between hip-hop and alt-folk, 19-year-old Raury Tullis draws a wobbly through-line from Donovan to Chance the Rapper on his major-
TOP
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FABI REYNA
FIVE BADASS FEMALE GUITARISTS YOU’VE NEVER HEARD OF BY FABI REYNA Annie Kerr
Many experts cite her as Hawaii’s first professional Wahine steel guitarist.
2 Kathy Marshall There are zero recordings and just a few pictures showcasing the then 13-year-old double-picking phenomenon. The most famous legend involves a duel between Dick Dale and Kathy Marshall that caused Dale to put down his guitar and walk off. 3 Las Adelitas Thanks to Dr. Leonor Perez, who has dedicated the past 17 years of her career to exposing the impact of women on mariachi music, we know that in 1948, Las Adelitas formed in Mexico City and became the first all-woman mariachi group. 4 Dolly Douroux Adams Adams was an incredibly respected musician in the New Orleans jazz scene who began playing music at the age of 7. She’s recognized by many as an important figure during the development of jazz. 5 Letritia Kandle In 1937, Kandle and her father created the very first non-lap steel guitar ever made. The Grand Letar featured the first-ever twospeaker amp, three six-string necks and two four-string necks that were capable of producing full organ sounds as well as vibraharp sounds. It even changed colors with the tones she was playing. Fabi Reyna is the founder of She Shreds, a Portland-based, women-focused guitar magazine.
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
SEE IT: She Shreds’ Third Birthday Party and 9th Issue Release is at the Liquor Store, 3341 SE Belmont St., with Chanti Darling, Thunderpussy and the Ghost Ease, on Wednesday, Nov. 18. 8 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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MUSIC
DATES HERE
coming to them. As awesome as the band’s full-length debut, Wildewoman, is, it’s not even half as awesome as its live shows. But Lucius is a band worth obsessing over, and a little overdue for a new album. If you didn’t snag tickets, you’ll just have to go see them next time they come to town. And the time after that. And every other time. SHANNON GORMLEY. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 8 pm. Sold out. 21+.
An Acoustic Evening with Yo La Tengo featuring Dave Schramm
[GOOD COVER VERSION] This isn’t just your ordinary Yo La Tengo show, if that’s even a thing (it’s not really a thing). The seminal Hoboken indierock band always comes alive onstage, transforming and reinterpreting songs, switching instruments and stretching out its noisy feedback jams to moments of pure bliss. Still, tonight’s show is extra-special: Touring behind the recently released (mostly) covers album Stuff Like That There, a sequel of sorts to 1990’s Fakebook, YLT is also reuniting with original lead guitarist Dave Schramm to perform an allacoustic set. So while you won’t get to see Ira Kaplan contort his guitar to sound like a pack of angry screaming whales, you will hear the group go in on an eclectic round of songs ranging from ‘40s country balladry to the Cure’s “Friday I’m in Love” to foreign versions of its own catalog. MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St. 8 pm. Sold out. All ages.
THURSDAY, NOV. 19 The Misfits, She-Demons, Toxic Zombies, Wild Bill
[GHOULISH NEW JERSEY] I dreamt once I was a devilock, long and greasy. I hung, like the little pendulum in a grandfather clock, down from the receded hairline to the middle of the pockmarked nose on the head of a man named Jerry Only. Jerry Only, my eternal companion, who is both my king and steed at once, has never once abandoned me, nor have I dreamt of leaving him. See the unceasing march of time in my thinning form. Jerry Only, who is my master and yet my slave, has scorned the Specter of Death. I, however, wait patiently for his embrace— maybe they’ll play “Skulls”? BRACE BELDEN. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St. 8 pm. $22.50 advance, $25 day of show. All ages.
The Charlatans
[ANGLOPHILIA CONTINUED] Haven’t gotten your fill of ‘90s British bands yet? The Charlatans are a tier or two down in terms of legacy from Ride and Primal Scream, who both passed through town recently, but that really just means they’re not forced to lean on their back catalogue quite as much. Modern Nature, the band’s first album since the death of drummer Jon Brookes in 2013, matures the Madchester-adjacent sound of its early work, with lightly dreamy textures and an underpinning of smooth soul. MATTHEW SINGER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St. 8 pm. $24.50 advance, $29.50 day of show. All ages.
FRIDAY, NOV. 20 Low, Andy Shauf
[SLUMBER MILL] Typically classified by the oversimplified genre description “slowcore,” indie trio Low has been crawling along for more than two decades with its idiosyncratic brand of folk. Its last LP featured production from Jeff Tweedy, and now Ones and Sixes gets help from former Wilco drummer Glenn Kotche. It was recorded at Bon Iver’s rural Wisconsin studio, and the sound evokes images of the snowy plains of Eau Claire in the winter. It’s got a dreary, freezing-cold feel—sometimes scary, and almost entirely beautiful. CRIS LANKENAU. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $20. 21+.
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
ALBUM REVIEWS
Edna Vazquez SOLA SOY (ROOTBOUND MUSIC) [SPANISH BALLADRY] Edna Vazquez has a voice that can squeeze tears from a stone. First discovered via a televised Spanish-language talent competition, the Mexican-born singersongwriter—who came to the U.S. after coming out to her parents as a teenager, eventually making her way to Oregon—has recorded in a variety of styles, and whether it’s tender Mexican folk songs, mariachi or rock ’n’ roll, her mournful alto is the centerpiece of whatever she does. The best thing the music can do is simply give her enough room, and Sola Soy, her new solo album, is built of an appropriately soft touch. Arranged primarily in collaboration with Pink Martini alum Martin Zarzar, the spare instrumentation mostly gives light shading to her declarations of resolve in the face of heartbreak. Shimmers of guitar and keyboards, along with occasional colorings of strings and whirring synthesizer, refract off lightly pulsing rhythms, allowing Vazquez to fill in the spaces. But while she is certainly capable of broad gestures—she cut her teeth performing in restaurants and at quinceañeras—Vazquez is often as restrained as the music, coming off as more jazz balladeer than folk singer. Some of it edges toward adult-contempo territory, but as always, Vazquez’s presence keeps you transfixed—whether you understand the words or not. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: Edna Vazquez plays the Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave., with Three for Silver, on Wednesday, Nov. 18. 8 pm. Sold out. All ages.
Various Artists FRIENDS & FRIENDS
OF FRIENDS VOL. 8 (TENDER LOVING EMPIRE)
[LITERALLY EVERYTHING] With more than three hours of music spread over two discs and 40 songs, Tender Loving Empire’s newest Friends & Friends of Friends album encomp a s s e s, w e l l , p r e t t y much everything. The annual compilation series celebrates its eighth year of highlighting bands from the Tender Loving Empire label, the greater Portland area and beyond. Vol. 8 feels like a giant mixtape made by a slightly ADD friend. It is a behemoth, first of all, and a nearly impenetrable one at that. It does not flow smoothly, and its chill is nonexistent. For example, disc two opens with the wub-wubbing “Discover” by Boise’s own Magic Sword, then directly segues into the Domestics’ sweet acoustic ballad “Wait Forever,” which would fit on the soundtrack to any rom-com, ever. But TLE doesn’t skimp on the hits: Beloved local bands like the prog-rocking Mascaras and established label artists like experimental bluesman Willis Earl Beal also make the cut. The result is, Friends & Friends of Friends Vol. 8 has something for everyone. But really, the easier way to sample the record is probably at the release party, as eight bands—Transistor Send, Bed, Sunbathe (Maggie Morris of Genders), New Move, the Fourth Wall, Catherine Feeny and Chris Johnedis, Snowblind Traveler and Loch Lomond—perform in honor of the compilation. HILARY SAUNDERS. SEE IT: The Friends & Friends of Friends Vol. 8 release party is at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., on Thursday, Nov. 19. 8 pm. $7-$8. 21+.
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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DATES HERE PETER LARSON
MUSIC Skream
[SOUTH LONDON FOMO] Before Skrillex left the masses yearning for “the drop,” Skream established himself as a notable figure within the U.K.’s proto-dubstep scene. In 2006, his debut, Skream!, was a showcase for a variety of off-house hybrids, each track pitching a distinct bouncy rhythm and brassy production that might be at home in airport lounges or the tailored club. His affinity for wobbly bass notwithstanding, most tracks featured a subtle variant, promptly aping dub reggae’s simplicity and incidental effect mixing, while remaining jazzy in choice moments. Unfortunately, the modern version of Skream echoes a homogenized high-end house mix. WYATT SCHAFFNER. The Evergreen, 618 SE Alder St. 10 pm. $15-$65. 21+.
SATURDAY, NOV. 21 Youth Lagoon, Taylor McFerrin
[STRANGE FLOWERS] Trevor Powers’ warbly bedroom symphonies can be thought of as the distant, more experimental and spaced-out cousin to fellow Boise natives Built to Spill. On his third LP, Savage Hills Ballroom, he shines under the polish of producer Ali Chant, and age has broadened his lyrical spotlight to include biography and societal malevolence. The broader, more textured pop template sets a gorgeous foundation for the ugly realities of toxic relationships, self-medication and death. CRIS LANKENAU. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $20 advance, $23 day of show. 21+.
MONDAY, NOV. 23 Minus the Bear, Murder by Death
[MATH POP] Jake Snider, founder and frontman for Minus the Bear, doesn’t really stand out as a vocalist. His dry delivery lacks luster and complexity when compared to his bandmates’ instrumental aptitude and tight noodling. That didn’t matter when Menos El Oso—which the group is revisiting in full here— first hit shelves in 2005. The Seattle band’s second LP is brimming with excellent power-pop choruses and math-rock moments, making use of some of the most spastic percussion and melodies around. The quick shift toward a more mature sound (and shorter song titles) still holds up today. BRANDON WIDDER. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show.
CLASSICAL, WORLD & JAZZ Dali Quartet
[LATINO CLASSICAL] The members of the Dali Quartet embody the success of Venezuela’s El Sistema, which brought Western classical music education to often-impoverished kids whose families could never have afforded it otherwise. After their studies there and at U.S. and European conservatories, the young foursome devoted themselves to bringing the criminally underplayed music of 20th-century Latin American classical composers to Old World-dominated classical programs in desperate need of revitalization by music from the Americas. Their program here includes a poignantly melodious quartet by Brazil’s most renowned composer, Heitor VillaLobos, plus music by Venezuelan composers Efraín Amaya and Juan Bautista Plaza, Cuban-American jazzer Paquito D’Rivera, Argentine new tango master Astor Piazzolla and others. BRETT CAMPBELL. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave. 2245058. 7:30 pm Thursday, Nov. 19. $20-$40. All ages.
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Lucius plays Mississippi Studios on Wednesday, Nov. 18.
Hugh Masekela & Larry Willis, Tezeta Band
[INTERNATIONAL JAZZ] While Larry Willis might be best known by crate diggers for a funky 1973 Groove Merchant outing, his work has spanned the jazz genre. Hugh Masekela has been a bit more visible over time. The South African trumpeter and Willis met during the 1960s, and contributed to each other’s recordings over the ensuing decades. It was only on a 2005 recording that the pair billed themselves as a proper duo, following it up with a monstrous boxed set of standards. That Masekela and Willis still can inject adventure into some wellworn material, though, is a testament to their taste and friendship. DAVE CANTOR. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St., No. 110. 8 pm Thursday, Nov. 19. $25 advance, $30 day of show. 21+.
The Rose Ensemble
[SAINTLY SOUNDS] Thirteenthcentury friar St. Francis of Assisi was so admired for his devotion to the poor that he drew legions of admirers throughout the centuries, including the current pope, who took his name as well as his philosophy. Musicians, too, sang and composed his praises, including Liszt, Messiaen, Poulenc and contemporary composers. Minnesota’s acclaimed Rose Ensemble, which specializes in Renaissance and Baroque music played on period instruments (vielle, rebec, bagpipes, shawm, recorder, tabor, etc.) in historically informed style, won’t perform the flower-power music Donovan wrote and sang for Zeffirelli’s 1972 film Brother Sun, Sister Moon, but they will sing and play vocal and instrumental music from composers much closer in time to Francis himself, such as 14th-century Johannes Ciconia and 16th-century Tommaso Graziani, interspersed with readings from accounts of his much admired life. BRETT CAMPBELL. St. Mary’s Cathedral, 1716 NW Davis St. 2:30 pm Sunday, Nov. 22. $10-$44.
Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 27
[CLASSICAL] No one knows if Mozart ever performed his final piano concerto live. In fact, there’s not even agreement on whether he wrote it in 1788 or 1791, the year of his death. But being such a late piece in his career, it is both expansive and experimental for its time—three movements that unusually employ multiple cadenzas. Guest conductor Stanislaw Skrowaczewski is, at 91, the oldest working major conductor in the world. Tonight, he will lead the symphony with a dark and dramatic mid-20thcentury orchestral concerto by Lutoslawski. This bombastic, percussion-heavy work will more than offset the traditional and baroque Brahms bit at night’s end. NATHAN CARSON. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 7:30 pm Sunday, Nov. 22. $29-$105. All ages.
For more Music listings, visit
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Revolution Hall 1300 SE Stark Street
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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MUSIC CALENDAR WED. NOV. 18 Crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St Lucero
Dante’s
350 West Burnside KEG
Doug Fir Lounge
Tender Loving Empire presents Friends of Friends Vol. 8 Release Party
St. David of Wales Church
Kelly’s Olympian
Star Theater
426 SW Washington St Milo, Safari Al, Kenny Segal, Jellyfish Brigade & V8
Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave Pleasure Curses
830 E Burnside St Gardens and Villa, De Lux
McMenamins Al’s Den
East Glisan Lounge
Mississippi Studios
David Friesen‘s Quartet
Edgefield
2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Tanner Cundy
Goodfoot Pub & Lounge 2845 SE Stark St DANNY BARNES
303 SW 12th Ave Edmund Wayne
3939 N Mississippi Ave Nathaniel Talbot, Moorea Masa
Revolution Hall
1300 SE Stark St #110 Hugh Masekela & Larry Willis, Tezeta Band
Rialto Corner Bar
1507 SE 39th Raury
529 SW 4th The Famous Haydell Sisters
Holocene
Roseland Theater
Hawthorne Theatre
1001 SE Morrison St Cat Hoch, Rio Grands, Dirty Whips
Justa Pasta
1336 NW 19th Ave Anson Wright Duo
Mississippi Studios
3939 N Mississippi Ave Lucius, Nik Freitas
Revolution Hall
1300 SE Stark St #110 An Evening With YO LA TENGO
Roseland Theater 8 NW 6th Ave Pepper
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave Prof, Nacho Picasso, Sonreal, DJ Fundo
The Old Church
1422 SW 11th Ave Edna Vazquez
The Liquor Store
3341 SE Belmont She Shreds’ Third Birthday Party and Ninth Issue Release with Chanti Darling, Thunderpussy and the Ghost Ease
Wonder Ballroom
128 NE Russell St Everclear’s 20th Anniversary Tour: Sparkle and Fade
THURS. NOV. 19 Alberta Rose Theatre
3000 NE Alberta St Joe Hill 100 Years Tribute: A Benefit Concert for KBOO Radio and Sisters of the Road Cafe
Ash Street Saloon
225 SW Ash Jim Strange with the Proud and the Damned
Bunk Bar
1028 SE Water Ave STRANGE WILDS
Crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St The Charlatans
Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St Yuna, Francesca Blanchard
Edgefield
2126 S. W. Halsey ST. The Junebugs
Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th The Acacia Strain, Counterparts, Glass Cloud, Fit For An Autopsy, Kublai Khan
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St
8 NW 6th Ave Audien & Jauz
The Old Church
1422 SW 11th Ave Dali Quartet
The Secret Society
116 NE Russell St The Portland Lindy Society Presents Thursday Swing! Featuring Pink Lady & the John Bennett Jazz Band, Boy & Bean
The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Strictly Platonic
Turn Turn Turn
8 NE Killingsworth St Songwriters in the Round Wonder
Ballroom
128 NE Russell St The Pimps of Joytime
FRI. NOV. 20 Aladdin Theater
3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Ozomatli
Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Recker
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St Low, Andy Shauf
First United Methodist Church 1838 SW Jefferson Portland Columbia Symphony
Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Volumes & Northlane
Jimmy Mak’s
221 NW 10th Ave The Eddie Martinez Band
McMenamins Mission Theater
1624 NW Glisan St An Evening with Garcia Birthday Band
Mississippi Studios
The Evergreen 618 SE Alder St Skream
The Firkin Tavern
1937 SE 11th Ave Holy Tentacles + Bashface (EP release) + Cadet
The Old Church
1422 SW 11th Ave Tom Grant - The Light Inside My Dream - A Multi-Media Event
The Secret Society
116 NE Russell St Jaycob Van Auken, The Frequence, Freddy & Francine; The Sportin’ Lifers
The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Twin River
Wonder Ballroom
128 NE Russell St Karl Denson’s Tiny Universe, Nicki Bluhm & the Gramblers
SAT. NOV. 21 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St Portland Soundcheck V
Analog Cafe & Theater
720 SE Hawthorne Blvd Hands Like Houses
Central Lutheran Church
1820 NE 21st Look to This Day For It is Life - Satori Men’s Chorus
Clinton Street Theater 2522 SE Clinton St The Clinton Street Stomp: The Earnest Lovers, Squirrel Butter, Joe New with Brian Oberlin, The Hi-O Revelers, Zach Bryson, High Water Jazz Band
Clyde’s Prime Rib Restaurant & Bar
Doug Fir Lounge
830 E Burnside St Youth Lagoon, Taylor McFerrin
Edgefield
2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Any Port in the Storm; The Resolectrics
Goodfoot Pub & Lounge
2845 SE Stark St YARN (w/ Railroad Earth’s Tim Carbone and Yonder Mountain String Band’s Allie Krall)
Hawthorne Theatre
Jimmy Mak’s
Revolution Hall
1300 SE Stark St #110 Hot Buttered Rum / Poor Man’s Whiskey plus a collaborative bluegrass performance of Paul Simon’s “Graceland”
EXPLODING HEARTS: “We’re Beach Slang, and we’re here to punch you right in the heart” is how singer James Snyder introduced his band to the modest crowd assembled upstairs at Analog Cafe’s small theater Nov. 11. Not a single pair of eyeballs rolled as the band played selections from its humble catalog and continued to deliver similarly overly sensitive statements. When the band wasn’t making gushy declarations of gratitude to the crowd, Beach Slang thoroughly delivered on the recent hype around its energy and raw promise. There were acrobatic, midair splits and on-a-dime stops and starts, and nearly every kid in the crowd screamed every word to songs from The Things We Do to Find People Who Feel Like Us, songs that were released to the public only a few weeks ago. The Replacements comparisons are apt, but no member of the band seemed to have a buzz from anything other than the crowd’s adoration. When a fan yelled, “We fuckin’ love you,” Snyder responded by miming an explosion bursting out of his chest. This was not a show for the cynical. Just before Beach Slang closed a nearly flawless performance, the only disgruntled individual in the crowded room mumbled, “This is some corny shit,” to no one in particular. Fortunately, no one onstage heard or chose to recognize the apostate. Perhaps Beach Slang is well aware that its brand of unaffected vulnerability can attract this kind of dissent, and that’s why none of the band members gave it any attention. They’re only looking for people who feel like them. And, for the most part, we were right there. CRIS LANKENAU.
5474 NE Sandy Blvd Andy Stokes
Panic Room
1620 SW Park Ave Oregon Guitar Quartet
LAST WEEK LIVE
13 NW 6th Ave J-Fell and Portland Radio Project Present: Mogo Portland Music Festival
1507 SE 39th The Fall of Troy, Kylesa, Powwers
Portland State University Lincoln Recital Hall
221 NW 10th Ave Andrew Paul Woodworth
Kenton Club
2025 N Kilpatrick St Midday Veil, Swahili, Antecessor
Landmark Saloon
4847 SE Division St Roy Kay Trio
Lynchwood Church of God
3818 SE 174th Avenue King of Kings Tributes
Midland Library
805 SE 122nd Avenue Discover the Rhythms of Ghana
Revolution Hall
1300 SE Stark St #110 Shook Twins
The Firkin Tavern
1937 SE 11th Ave Tribe Mars + The Adam Finger 4tet + Born Cosmic
The Secret Society
116 NE Russell St Schoolhouse Supplies Fundraiser featuring: All the Apparatus, The Lovely Lost, Bubble Cats
The White Eagle
836 N Russell St Reverb Brothers; The Stein Project
Tony Starlight Showroom
1125 SE Madison St The Stars of the Copacabana
Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St The Grouch & Eligh
the Blue Room bar 8145 SE 82nd Ave.
Terrapin Flyer with Melvin Seals and Mark Karan. Alice Drinks the Kool-Aid opens
SUN. NOV. 22 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St An Evening with Groovebirds
Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall
1037 SW Broadway Mozart’s Piano Concerto No. 27
Bossanova Ballroom
722 E Burnside Sisyphean Conscience, Chronological Injustice, Southgate, The Diggers, Of Fact And Fiction, Every Hand Betrayed, & Vow Of Volition
Clyde’s Prime Rib Restaurant & Bar
5474 NE Sandy Blvd Ron Steen Jazz Jam
Doug Fir Lounge 830 E Burnside St Boy & Bear
Edgefield
2126 S. W. Halsey ST. John Bunzow
Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
[NOV. 18-24]
2800 SE Harrison St. The Kathy Kallick Band
3939 N Mississippi Ave BØRNS 3100 NE Sandy Blvd Amarok / Badr Vogu / Tsepesch / Diaspora
For more listings, check out wweek.com.
THOMAS TEAL
= WW Pick. Highly recommended.
Editor: Matthew Singer. TO HAVE YOUR EVENT LISTED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/submit events. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.
Copeland, Eisley, We Are The City
Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St SANKOFA! POPGOJI, WAMBA, REJOICE DANCE
Mississippi Pizza & Atlantis Lounge
3552 N Mississippi Ave Opera On Tap Portland presents Name That Tune
Rontoms
600 E Burnside St RONTOMS SUNDAY SESSIONS: Hosannas + Calm Candy
St. Mary’s Cathedral 1716 NW Davis St. The Rose Ensemble
Star Theater
13 NW 6th Ave GUTTERMOUTH & Blacklist Royals, Dirty Kid Discount
The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Redwood Son
Trinity Episcopal Cathedral - Kempton Hall 147 NW 19th Ave Bach to Bernstein
Wolf Den Music Space 5220 NE Sandy Blvd Songwriting Afternoon Jam
MON. NOV. 23 Crystal Ballroom
1332 W Burnside St Gogol Bordello, Jessica Hernandez & The Deltas
Dante’s
350 West Burnside Karaoke From Hell
Edgefield
2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Groovy Wallpaper with The Adequates
Goodfoot Pub & Lounge 2845 SE Stark St Sonic Forum
Saint David of Wales Church
TUES. NOV. 24 Doug Fir Restaurant, Bar & Lounge 830 E. Burnside St Taylor John Williams
Edgefield
2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Sloan Martin
Goodfoot Pub & Lounge
2845 SE Stark St YAK ATTACK (FREE!)
Jade Lounge
2348 SE Ankeny Fourth Tuesdays with Edward Cohen & Friends
LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Jackstraw
Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave Bones - DJ Aurora
2800 SE Harrison Street Everyone Welcome Community Choir
Mississippi Studios
The Blue Room Bar
Raven and Rose
8145 Se 82nd Ave Earl and The Healers
Wonder Ballroom
128 NE Russell St Minus the Bear, Murder by Death
3939 N Mississippi Ave Gill Landry 1331 SW Broadway Na Rósaí - Traditional Irish Music
The Know
2026 NE Alberta St Dead Men Talking, Ellis Pink & Mamai
MUSIC
#WWEEK
Where to drink this week. 1. Locale
adam wickham
BAR REVIEW
4330 N Mississippi Ave., 946-1614, localepdx.com. Sure, the owner’s true obsession may be the Pilsner Urquell—poured so the beer doesn’t touch oxygen—but what’s truly impressive here aside from the excellent coffee is maybe the best selection of vermouth in town, drunk straight and true.
NEVER MISS A BEAT.
2. Zoiglhaus
5716 SE 92nd Ave., 971-339-2374, zoiglhaus.com. hello, Lents! Brewer alan Taylor brought his excellent German-inflected Pints beers over to a big ol’ family-friendly brewpub styled for the motherland, and the Lents Lager is a light, clean take on the Bavarian helles.
3. La Moule
2500 SE Clinton St., 971-339-2822, lamoulepdx.com. The balanced gin-aperol Sunday morning ($9) is like a Negroni made with cherries, and there’s a fine $8 Old Fashioned made with heaven hill 6-year bourbon. St. Jack’s crossriver companion bar is a fine place to drink and eat mussels beneath a portrait of black-eyed Serge Gainsbourg, while Television plays in a bar without a television.
4. Victoria Bar
4835 N Albina Ave., victoriapdx.com. Victoria Bar’s owners have merged the aesthetic of their freeway-offramp nightclubs (Jackknife, dig a Pony) and vegan whiskey patio bars (Bye and Bye, Sweet hereafter) into a plausible template for citywide, upper-middlebrow dominion.
5. NW Cannabis Club
1195 SE Powell Blvd., 206-4594, facebook.com/ TheRealNWCC. cannabis clubs are the new bars. This is Portland’s most central smoking spot yet, located in a strip clubturned-night club next to a 24-hour coffeehouse.
NOT A TOFFEE BAR FOR SOCCER PEOPLE: Joining the illustrious ranks of Apizza Scholls and Belmont Station, Hawthorne Strip (3532 SE Powell Blvd., 232-9516, hawthornestrip.com) on Powell Boulevard, next to the Scottish Country Shop and Rose City Strip, carries its historic name to a new location where it becomes delightful nonsense. It’s now a red-lit box of a space three times as large as the famously “intimate” original, with a new-looking pool table and spacious stage. According to a dreadlocked weed-shop employee who was having a hard time keeping his eyes open, the Strip is “way classier” than Glimmers—the strip club that preceded it, which hosted a shooting in its parking lot in 2012. And it’s almost guaranteed to be classier than Tommy’s before that, whose former owner was fatally shot at sequel Tommy’s Too on Foster Road in 2014 while under federal investigation. But on the Hawthorne Strip’s brand-new rear smoking porch, one of the dancers—whose musical taste favors Eartha Kitt and Sarah Vaughan—declared the patrons more respectful than at other clubs, although there were very few on this particular Thursday night. Perhaps the conflict between the name/address had confused them, we wondered aloud. “I might change it someday,” says the owner behind the bar, laughing. He shouldn’t. Portland bar history is thin enough as it is. “They’re putting in some kind of toffee bar at the old spot,” the owner says, “for soccer people.” From the tone of his voice and the football on the TV behind the bar, it is very clear he is not soccer people. And the Hawthorne Strip is a perfectly friendly little strip bar, with eight taps of beer and no toffee whatsoever, unless it’s somebody’s name. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.
Moloko
3967 N Mississippi Ave Montel Spinozza
Dig A Pony
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736 SE Grand Ave DIRTY RED
The Evergreen 618 SE Alder St Skream
WED. NOV. 18 Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon
Dig A Pony
736 SE Grand Ave Morning Remorse
THUrs. NOV. 19 Dig A Pony
736 SE Grand Ave Battles & Lamar
Moloko
3967 N Mississippi Ave Brazilian Night with Nik Nice & Brother Charlie
Euphoria Nightclub
315 SE 3rd Ave DIRECT FRIDAYS: THUGLI
The Liquor store 3341 SE Belmont
Natural Magic
Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay
Charlie Horse saloon
627 SE Morrison St. World Famous Lee Hazlewood Night w/ DJ Ricky Pang, DJ Whippoorwill
FrI. NOV. 20 Holocene
1001 SE Morrison St Act Right
Euphoria Nightclub
315 SE 3rd Ave DIRECT FRIDAYS: MARK SIXMA & EMMA HEWITT
Dig A Pony
736 SE Grand Ave Jimbo
Goodfoot Pub & Lounge 2845 SE Stark St SOUL STEW with DJ AQUAMAN AND FRIENDS
sAT. NOV. 21
sUN. NOV. 22 The Liquor store
3341 SE Belmont Ghost Town Soul Club and Sunday Showdown
Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave Softcore Mutations
Euphoria Nightclub 315 SE 3rd Ave Anna Lunoe
Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave Sabbath w/ Miz Margo and Horrid
Moloko
3967 N. Mississippi The Central Experience with Gulls & Mr. Peepers
Euphoria Nightclub
315 SE 3rd Ave DESTINATION SATURDAYS: ANNA LUNOE - HYPER HOUSE TOUR
MON. NOV. 23 Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave DJ Cory
TUEs. NOV. 24 Dig A Pony
736 SE Grand Ave AM GOLD
Lovecraft Bar
421 SE Grand Ave Bones - DJ Aurora & DJ Acid Rick
@WillametteWeek Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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RECORD STORE DAY BLACK FRIDAY FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 27TH SPECIAL EARLY STORE OPENING AT 8 AM FREE COFFEE AND MUFFINS FROM 7-8 AM FREE GIFT BAGS TO THE FIRST 200 SHOPPERS FREE COUPON BOOK FILLED WITH JANUARY DISCOUNTS ALL RELEASES ARE LIMITED EDITION, AND MANY ARE NUMBERED. FOR A COMPLETE LIST, PLEASE VISIT WWW.MUSICMILLENNIUM.COM
100 FREE GIFT CARDS ($3-$25) FOR THE FIRST 100 SHOPPERS WIN A NEW BELGIUM BICYCLE Special in store performance from
IAN KARMEL at 5PM
Complimentary beverages from New Belgium during performance Ian Karmel is a homegrown Portland comedian whose style zig-zags between the eclectic and the universal. Currently a writer for CBS’ The Late Late Show with James Corden (previously E’s Chelsea Lately), with appearances on Portlandia and Conan. Ian’s debut album, ‘9.2 on Pitchfork’, has just been released on Kill Rock Stars.
Introducing...
e eek Stor W e t t e m The Willa
Holiday sHopping early? low on casH? we got you. Find gift certificates to your favorite Portland restaurants at wweek.com/dubdubdeals
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
PERFORMANCE RICK VODICKA
= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ (espitz@wweek.com). Comedy: MIKE ACKER (macker@wweek.com). Dance: ENID SPITZ (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: espitz@wweek.com.
OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Bite Me a Little
Reprising the jazzy, vampire camp story that was a Fertile Ground darling in 2012, Post5 hosts Arlie Conner’s musical satire about a film noir detective and a place called Dr. Hurt’s Palace of Fun. According to Conner, she just started with “some gypsy jazz-style songs.” What we end up with is a burlesque, Rocky Horror-inspired story where the nerdy Joe hosts his high school reunion at Dr. Hurt’s Palace at the bequest of Hurt’s transvestite minion and ends up in love with a cabaret diva named Raven Hurt. There will be blood. There will also be music direction by Portland mainstay and longtime cabaret accompanist Matt Insley, and a cast featuring Post5 company members like Jim Vadala. Shows on Friday, Dec. 4 and 11, are at 10 pm. Post5 Theatre, 1666 SE Lambert St., 971-258-8584. 7:30 pm Thursday-Sunday. Through Dec 12. $20.
Climate Change Theatre Action
Boom Arts, Artists Rep, Theatre Without Borders and local environmental awareness non-profit 350PDX team up to stage a free night of readings themed around climate change. Coinciding with the 2015 Paris Climate Conference and over 100 other international activist events, the show is more community forum and fundraiser than it is fun theater night. Don’t come for escapism—come for new and truncated works from playwrights like Action/ Adventure’s Noah Dunham and PDX Playwrights’ Miriam Feder. Come for the future of the Earth. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7 pm Tuesday, Nov. 24. Free.
The Devil and Billy Markham
Shel Silverstein’s six-part, epic poem about the unshakable Billy Markham and how he took a bet for his life debuted in Playboy in 1979. Starting on Nashville’s Music Row (where else?) Billy takes a Beckett-esque romp through Hell and back, encountering God and the Devil along the way. Artists Rep’s reprisal of the wry one-act will follow performances of Broomstick and share the same, spooky set. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 9:30 pm ThursdaySaturday, Nov. 19-21. $20.
Women Of Troy
This adaptation of the classic Greek play by Euripides is the inaugural production (thanks to Indiegogo) from local company Play on Words. The morning after Greeks wiped out Troy, the city’s women and children emerge to a brand new world. Writer-director Jeffrey Puukka’s contemporary adaptation looks through a modern lens at soldiers, survivors and their sanity after the fighting stops. PSU’s Lincoln Hall, 1620 SW Park Ave. 7 pm ThursdaySaturday, 2 pm Sunday, Nov. 19-21. $20.
ALSO PLAYING Ain’t Misbehavin’
Raunchy, swinging piano battles and hedonistic Cotton Club acts inspired by the life of jazz piano legend Fats Waller make this Tony Award-winning musical a nostalgic trip from the Harlem Renaissance through to World War II. Portland Center Stage got permission to amp up the play from what it was on Broadway and in the West End, augmenting the cast with Third Rail, Artists Repertory and Portland Playhouse veterans, plus a few London, New Orleans and New York talents like Andre Ward— who did Rock of Ages on Broadway—
and David Jennings—who starred in the Broadway version with American Idol’s Ruben Studdard. That’s a lot of namedropping, even for PCS. But it’s worth a mention that this may be the largest black cast we’ll see on any stage this year. Though early critics decried the show’s lack of dialogue, in a play that once starred the Pointer Sisters crooning songs like “’Tain’t Nobody’s Bizness” and “How Ya Baby” that’s probably an insubstantial fault. Gerding Theater at the Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., 4453700. 7:30 Tuesday-Friday, noon Thursday, 2 pm and 7:30 pm SaturdaySunday. Through Nov. 29. $30-$75. 12+.
Broomstick
Witches have a bad rap—eating children, cursing livestock and seducing morally upstanding men. But Vana O’Brien’s character at Artists Rep isn’t necessarily a witch—she’s just…misunderstood. Performed with transformative genius by the Artists Rep founding member, this old woman welcomes us into her cottage deep in the Southern woods. We’re an acquaintance who’s been gone long and now she’s happy to regale us with a lifetime of stories. Playwright John Biguenet deftly employs iambic pentameter and rhyming couplets to give the old woman’s tales a singsong quality. O’Brien gleefully embodies the complex character, who is in turn repulsive, sympathetic and awe-inspiring. As with listening to any elderly person tell a never-ending story, interest ebbs. But O’Brien fully realizes a woman living with a lifetime of pain. When she recounts the loss of her young love at sea—and how her grief was so tremendous that it became a tempest and sunk more ships—all subsequent actions seem justified. Its a lesson in humanity: people may or may not have been baked into casseroles, but wait until you hear her side of the story. PENELOPE BASS. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Sunday, 2 pm Sunday, Nov. 18-22. $48.
Blood on the Books, or The Powell’s Play
It was only a matter of time before some bibliophile screenwriter decided to mourn the drawn out death of printed books with a play. Pairing this elegy for print with one of YA’s favorite villains—the vampire—Portlander Nick Zagone finally fills that theatrical void. When Kindles, iPads and e-books take over, the Powell’s employees devolve into vampiric librarians, trolling the aisles and leaving blood on the books in this Northwest Theatre Project undertaking, directed by Christopher Petit. Shaking the Tree, 823 SE Grant St., 235-0635. 7:30pm Thursday-Sunday, Nov. 19-22. $20-$25.
Dogfight
A trio of ballsy Marines go out for a raucous last hurrah before deploying to Southeast Asia in 1963. But this is a good old-fashioned love story, not the format-buster about a female drone pilot that CoHo itself staged with Grounded last season. Staged!—an Artists Repertory resident company— is putting on this off-Broadway play based on Peter Duchan’s book and the Warner Brothers film, where Corporal Eddie Birdlace discovers the naive waitress Rose on the eve of deployment. The rest is hIstory, as they say. No performance Thanksgiving Day. CoHo Productions, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 220-2646. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, Monday, Nov. 23, and 2 pm Sunday. Through Nov. 29. $15-$29.
CONT. on page 50
Sexy Polka TIGHT AND NERDY: THE FIRST AND ONLY ALL WEIRD AL-INSPIRED BURLESQUE TROUPE HITS PORTLAND On Saturday, Weird Al Yankovic-inspired burlesque, Al-Stravaganza!, comes to the Funhouse Lounge. What will it include? More importantly, what should it include? Here are the five sexy Weird Al numbers I want to see:
“Key Party in the CIA”
Based on: “Party in the CIA,” based on “Party in the USA” by Miley Cyrus. Hot CIA agents swap wives while they destabilize countries. Includes fun waterboarding play.
“Amish Bonnet-Fetish Paradise”
Based on: “Amish Paradise,” based on “Gangsta’s Paradise” by Coolio, based on “Pastime Paradise” by Stevie Wonder. What’s under Al’s beard? Find out in this candlelit buttonless striptease. Tonight we’re gonna party like it’s 1669.
“Beat It”
Based on: “Eat It,” based on “Beat It” by Michael Jackson. Works either way.
“Fat (In a Sexy Butt Way)”
Based on: “Fat,” based on “Bad” by Michael Jackson. It’s a badass dance fight in a subway station, but instead of fat suits, the ladies wear butt lifters. And lots of leather.
“Smells Like Nirvana’s Naked”
Based on: “Smells like Nirvana,” based on “Smells Like Teen Spirit” by Nirvana. This is pretty much like the original but Al is naked, and the cheerleaders are naked. Basically everyone is just naked.
“Handsy”
Based on: “Handy,” based on “Fancy” by Iggy Izalea. It’s Al in a blond wig as a handyman, and he can’t stop putting the moves on the people whose toilets he’s fixing. Don’t worry, they’re into it. By the end, he’s in nothing but a tool belt. Keep your eyes on the screwdriver! LIZZY ACKER. SEE IT: Al-Stravaganza! A Burlesque Tribute to Weird Al is at Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734, funhouselounge.com. 9 pm Saturday, Nov. 21. $15-$20. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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PERFORMANCE
Junie B. Jones: The Musical
Ticket to Read gives kids from lowincome schools free trips to the theater and a book to take home. Everyone gets the joy of first grade reincarnated as a musical. As if the plight of Barbara Park’s precocious heroine wasn’t already enough— she needs glasses and the lunch lady is her only friend—Oregon Children’s Theatre and Music Theatre International add song and dance. Newark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway. 2 and 5 pm Saturday, 11 am and 2 pm Sunday, Nov. 21-22. $18-$32.
Offending the Audience
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Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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18 AND over
What’s coming—sexist vitriol? Dead baby jokes? Two hours of blackfacing? In Liminal Performance Group’s adaptation of this seminal anti-play— written in 1966 by Austrian dramatist Peter Handke, when he was 23 years old with a Beatles coif and round sunglasses—the actors do remarkably little offending. On opening night, the audience members did a whole lot more to offend one another, including texting, singing, snapping selfies, talking back to performers and loudly departing for the restroom. I’m not sure Liminal’s version is entirely successful—Handke was once an enfant terrible of the literary world, but his smashing of the fourth wall and junking of plot and character doesn’t feel so revolutionary in 2015. Even those who enjoy theater about theater will roll their eyes and check their watches at times. But it’s still a welcome alternative to innocuous crowd-pleasers. Video cameras transmit live black-and-white footage onto one wall. Another wall shows a live text-message feed—we’re given a phone number, and the result is a stream of Beyoncé GIFs and boner jokes. It’s clear: We are the performers. There is no show without us. REBECCA JACOBSON. Action/ Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St., liminalgroup.org, 567-8309. 7:30 pm Friday-Sunday and 2:30 pm Sunday. Through Nov. 22. $10-$25.
Orlando
Only two-thirds of the seats were full on opening night of Orlando, the season closer at Profile Theatre. But it’s almost better this way. Sarah Ruhl’s adaptation of the 1928 novel by Virginia Woolf is an intimate play, and Profile does it justice with a tiny cast staged in the round. The story spans centuries, tracing an Elizabethan court page as he undergoes a gender switch. Just five performers play all the characters. The minimal stage is a small circle that stands about a foot off the ground. And the props are mundane: an oak tree, a crate and exaggerated engagement rings. There’s nowhere to hide—especially in the pivotal moment of truth when Beth Thompson as Orlando goes The Full Monty (without the jokes, of course). Thompson is shameless and
PREVIEW
No Uncertain Dance
MICHAEL SLOBODIAN
Wyndham Brandon is bored (and more than a little unhinged) when he convinces his friend to help him commit a murder. They strangle their fellow undergraduate and stash his body in a chest. But all that happens before the curtain even rises. Then they host a dinner party and serve a meal to the father of the boy they killed off the box containing his son’s body. If that sounds twisted, it is, and delightfully so. What follows is a parade of characters so exaggerated that drama becomes farce. Brandon (Trevor Jackson) is giddy, longing to brag about his genius. But Michael Tuefel as the cynical poet Rupert Cadell steals the spotlight. Channeling a cross between John Waters and Stewie Griffin, Tuefel’s every action is enrapturing—from a sidelong suspicious stare to a spittle-flecked, red-faced rant. Guest director Rusty Tennant challenges us to regard death, or murder specifically, as a matter of perspective. Are we rooting for the murderers to be punished or to get away with it? The biggest surprise might be your own reaction to the ending. PENELOPE BASS. Bag and Baggage, 253 E Main St., Hillsboro, 345-9590. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday. Through Nov. 21. $25-$30.
Ballet BC brings three dances about discovering yourself.
Lost souls dominated Portland’s dance scene this fall: “the exquisite turbulence of...memory” in Okwui Okpokwasili’s Bronx Gothic, “people just hunting for the next best thing” in Felix Landerer’s New Now Wow work or “the lead weight of your lack of soul” in Moses Pendleton’s Alchemia. Not to mention companies like Conduit and Polaris searching for studios to call home. Ballet BC’s answer is a one-night show about finding yourself. The triple-header starts with a piece about transition by resident choreographer Cayetano Soto, who says the acrobatic duets in 28,000 Waves represent the hurdles we all encounter. Like an oil rig at sea, hit by 28,000 waves a day. Stijn Celis’ Awe meditates on transitioning from darkness to light, with the all-male Chor Leoni singing Leonard Cohen a cappella, and Kidd Pivot founder Crystal Pite’s new work, Solo Echo, asks: When you come to the end of life and look in the mirror, are you OK with who you’ve become? Portland is ready for the 30-year-old Ballet’s brand of existential exploration, says artistic director Emily Molnar. “We’re all compatible here on the West Coast, and Portland is so open-minded and curious. That can only bode well.” For Portlanders who have watched b-boys questioning their masculinity in Opposing Forces and dancers suddenly jobless when Moxie Contemporary Ballet disappeared—maybe a Canadian night of self-discovery will shine a light. “You can see in the cafes, shops and people walking around— Portland has its own distinct personality,” Molnar says. “And of course, Voodoo Doughnuts.” ENID SPITZ. SEE IT: Ballet BC is at Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm Wednesday, Nov. 18. $26-$74.
REVIEW COURTESY OF STEVE COKER
The Drunken City
“UNDER PRESSURE”: Flash Ah-Ahhh!
More Than Slightly Mad
Stagework Ink revives Flash Gordon with a kiss, because they like him. A lot. This musical extravaganza based on the campy 1980 film looks familiar because writer-director Steve Coker staged it in 2014, too. This time, he insists that two new songs and four new cast members make it a whole new show. It mostly gets an A for effort when it comes to doing justice to Freddie Mercury, but this season’s makeover smartly recasts Dr. Zarkov and Klytus as women. Kristi Bogart retains Zarkov’s Germanic madscientist accent and ably nails “Under Pressure.” And Landi Hite’s Klytus is wicked, with bodice-ripping cleavage. This bawdy affair takes the sauciness of the film and cranks up the hormones, with new cast member Kara Hayes as Princess Aura in a skin-tight purple body suit, Flash chained up in stuffed black briefs, and Prince Barin both floor wrestling with Flash and swapping spit with Aura. The School of Rock kids as the house band never drop a note while Flash and Vultan ride their rocket cycles, aided by some hilarious puppetry. And even though Craig Fitzpatrick’s Ming faltered during “Slightly Mad,” more Queen in a show-tune, rock-’n’-roll fantasy can’t be a bad thing. NATHAN CARSON.
Stagework Ink gives an old bird a second chance.
SEE IT: Flash Ah-Ahhhh! is at the Hostess, 538 SE Ash St. 7:30 pm Thursday-Friday, 2 pm and 7:30 pm Saturday, Nov. 19-21. $18-$21.
stunning even while portraying a confused character. If Orlando has an Achilles’ heel, it’s overworking. The show pushes a few key elements until they detract from the narrative. For all the minor hiccups, Orlando shines in its intent. Wolfe wrote her novel nearly a century ago, but its muddling of the gender spectrum seems even more timely today. HILARY SAUNDERS. Artists Repertory Theatre’s Alder Stage, 1516 SW Alder St., 242-0080. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 7:30 pm Wednesday, Nov. 18, and 3 pm Sunday. Through Nov. 22. $15-$32.
Sex With Strangers
It’s hard to imagine two characters more different than Olivia and Ethan. She’s a neurotic intellectual who’s always cleaning; he talks with his mouth full and pees with the bathroom door open. But it doesn’t take long for these polar personalities to wind up doing the nasty
in Sex With Strangers, playwright Laura Eason’s ode to romance in the age of Wi-Fi. Gender stereotypes abound. Olivia is uptight, commitment-seeking and worried about aging; Ethan is a crass studmuffin who just wants to get laid. In the end, monogamy prevails. RICHARD SPEER. Portland Center Stage, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday, noon Thursday, 2 pm Saturday-Sunday. Through Nov. 22. $25-$50.
COMEDY & VARIETY The 3rd Floor XXXIII: The Final Chapter
Thirty-three shows and 20 years after it started as a group of recent college grads who thought that they were pretty funny, one of Portland’s oldest comedy troupes is retiring. Boasting over 50 company members and
REVIEW
Ex-PDX
COURTESY OF IAN KARMEL
M I N DY T U C K E R
Ron Funches’ and Ian Karmel’s new standup albums, reviewed.
Two comics who left Portland for Los Ang eles released standup albums last week. Do Ron Funches’ The Funches of Us and Ian Karmel’s 9.2 on Pitchfork prove that sunnier is funnier?
The Funches of Us
The first of his generation of Rose City comics to leave for L.A., Ron Funches might not rep Portland as hard as other locals, but his comedy is firmly of the Keep Portland Weird Portland. On his debut album, Ron Funches: The Funches of Us, the comic is at his best when he’s at his weirdest—and that’s most of the time. By his own admission, nobody expects a person who looks like Funches to have such a naturally high-pitched giggle. He’s full of these contradictions, like being uncomfortable using the “n” word for people but saying it’s not so bad when used to admonish pets. That proclamation spins into a tangent about which members of the Wu-Tang Clan like to wear scarves. This is Funches in his comfort zone—not too serious, slightly odd, with unexpected turns and unique punch lines. The only downside to the album is that Funches fans have heard this material before. A debut album, like a debut spot on Conan, requires tight material, and Funches is just getting his sea legs in the big time. MIKE ACKER.
9.2 on Pitchfork
Laughing, like a bris, should be done behind closed and locked doors in the company of a Jew. Maybe I’m nuts or something, but I don’t like being in a room with a gaggle of turds doing that comedian thing where they kind of lean on the mic stand with one arm bent all crooked while failing to be relatable, self-effacing and funny. Nine times out of 10, I would rather watch a child being whipped than to sit in the basement of a video store, trapped in that unfunny oubliette watching some pimpled dork try to make me laugh. But I would watch Ian Karmel. He is a big, fat Jew. I get that; I am that. On this album, Karmel talks about Taco Bell and the Holocaust, and these are things I understand, the twin poles of my big-nosed existence. For the hour of 9.2 on Pitchfork, Karmel assumes the mantle of the cypher. And in the realm of bright-eyed, flannelwearing comics who hang around in creepy packs chuckling at nothing, Karmel is funny. Listen. BRACE BELDEN.
alumni, the group promises even more for their farewell sketch comedy show at Milagro, notably beef ghosts (hamburgers?) and Tony Marcellino from Portland improv troupe the Liberators. Milagro Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 2367253. 8 pm Friday-Saturday. Through Dec. 19. $16-$19.
Constellation
Four of the brightest stars in Portland’s improv comedy scene are coming together, and the result is going to be awe-inspiring, tremendously engaging and outstandingly fun. Matt Lask, Adam Trabka, Domeka Parker and Kathryn Durkin are Constellation, a noholds-barred and totally innovative improvisational starship. Come see this debut performance as these improv experts challenge the conventions of traditional improv with dramatic scene work, fast-paced and absurd comedy, improvised poetry and audience engagement. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Friday, Nov. 20. $12.
Popularitea: The Showcase
Portland has a lot of comedy showcases, but only one comedy showcase/ tea party. Including discussions on current pop culture news, Popularitea seeks to blend lowbrow and highbrow comedy in a way that is smart, funny and even classy. Come laugh along with hosts Elizabeth Teets and Sabine Rear to the comedic stylings of Danny Felts, Adam Pasi, George Coffey and Sarah Murell. The Tea Zone and Camellia Lounge, 510 NW 11th Ave., 221-2130. 6:15 pm Saturday, Nov. 21. Free (one-item minimum).
Test Tube Experimental Comedy
A showcase designed to highlight those local comics devoted to Keeping Portland Weird, Test Tube is full of strange bits, off-beat characters and unique premises. Hosted by Philip Schallberger, one of the city’s most odd funny people, this month’s installment of Test Tube features Jordan Casner, Bri Pruett, Gabe Dinger and Josh Fischer. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Wednesday, Nov. 18. $10-$18. 21+.
Tim Meadows
Best known for creating Leon Phelps, the Ladies’ Man, during his 10-year run on Saturday Night Live, Tim Meadows established himself as one of the funniest people alive. An accomplished standup comic who has headlined comedy clubs across the country, Meadows comes to Portland for a three-night, five-show engagement that is bound to be a crowd-pleaser. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 8 pm Thursday, Nov. 19, 7:30 pm & 10 pm Friday-Saturday, Nov. 20-21. $18-$31. 21+.
DANCE Death of Glitter: Dance Night and GenderFuck Cabaret
Crush’s monthly performance and dance night fundraiser does drag for a different non-profit cause each month. Portland queens including Mars, Darcy Blows, Anastasia Euthanasia, Judy Precious, Acro-Yogis, and emcee Delta Flyer start the show, then DJ Aurora spins dark, goth, and glam music till close. Crush, 1400 SE Morrison St., 2358150. 9 pm Thursday, Nov. 19. $5-$10.
Riverdance
Tripping back to the ‘90s, Riverdance’s 20th Anniversary World Tour reminds us of a time when Michael Flatley was the high-stepping lord of dance and an overdubbed tapping scandal hadn’t yet marred the most heart-thumping thing to emigrate from Ireland since young Colin Farrell. Bill Whelan’s compositions are still going strong for this rock-tap spectacle. Feeling your age yet? You might after two hours sitting in balcony seats. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 248-4335. 7:30 pm Friday, 2 and 7:30 pm Saturday, and 1 and 6:30 pm Sunday, Nov. 20-22. $25-$75.
Willamette Week’s 3RD ANNUAL
5
Funniest Showcase AT ALBERTA ABBEY
We polled Portland comedy insiders on the best fresh faces in standup comedy. The top five perform live at this showcase hosted by Sean Jordan.
MONDAY, NOVEMBER 30 • 7 P.M. • $5 Alberta Abbey (126 NE Alberta Street) bit.ly/wwfunniestfive
For more Performance listings, visit Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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ENID SPITz
VISUAL ARTS
THE TYRANNY OF HOPE = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By ENID SPITz. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information— including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: espitz@wweek.com.
An Opera for One
Tracing the multi-faceted career of Kartz Ucci, this retrospective exhibition delivers a fitting tribute to the late artist and her work. A professor at the University of Oregon, Ucci taught while creating her own digital, text, sound and installation art. The works at the Art Gym are a diverse mix of color and light, sound and text, that form poignant statements about the convergence of everyday life and the digital realm. The titular video work, “An Opera for One,” is on display in a quiet viewing room. It’s best experienced on a slow day when you can lose yourself in the gentle pulse of color without being interrupted. GRAHAM W. BELL. Through Dec. 5. The Art Gym, Marylhurst University, 17600 Pacific Highway, 699-6243.
Back to the Sea
Portland-based artist Gwen Davidson’s paints collage-style acrylic works on canvases covered with layered strips of paper. Returning to Froelick Gallery for the second time, her new series tries to capture the Oregon Coast and the Columbia River Gorge. She uses natural colors like taupe, deep blue and slate grey to create moody-colored horizon lines that look like abstract waterscapes. After Davidson lays paint to the strips of paper, the canvases naturally warp, wrinkle and shrink, meaning that her art takes on a trajectory of its own. The lack of control Davidson has over her materials must be nerve-racking, but it leads to a unique, textured finish that perfectly suggests the rocky shoreline of the Pacific Northwest. KYLA FOSTER. Through Nov. 28. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142.
B.I.B. 999
Toronto-based graphic artist Allister Lee sketched 999 black markers—a glassbarrel Magic Marker, a plastic Crayola jumbo grip and a classic Sharpie—and titled it B.I.B. (Black is Beautiful). It may not be obvious at first why you’d want to see 999 black markers at a gallery, but when you see it for yourself—it’s worth it. Not only does Lee present 1:1 scale illustrations of every black marker he owns, but the actual markers are displayed in a hand-made, super fresh, black vitrine centered in the gallery. Taking into consideration that the markers vary in size, and to ensure that they each are displayed to perfection, the artist commissioned custom lasercut acrylic holders. The holders slightly lift each marker, transforming them into art-objects. Lee is serious about his merch—each vitrine is padlocked, which makes you even more interested in the objects inside. KYLA FOSTER. Through Nov. 30. One Grand Gallery, 1000 SE Burnside St., 212-365-4945.
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Close to Home
Oregon-based artist Jeffrey Conley imparts his zeal for the natural world with a collection of black-and-white photographs. Some, like the aptly titled “Trees in Blizzard,” are quintessential landscape vistas. Others—such as a close-up shot of a crystallized dandelion—are exercises in abstraction. Dynamic pieces like “Crashing Waves” lend a touch of the sublime to an otherwise tranquil subject. Returning for his second show at Charles A. Hartman, Conley presents over 20 platinum palladium prints that try to capture the solace found in nature, whether in the icy forests of the Pacific Coast or his own backyard. The small, uniform scale of his photos invites you to come in close and meditate on the details. HILARY TSAI. Through Nov. 28. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886.
Sleep?
Upon entering the show, one feels more like an intruder in a ghost town than the object of a cowboy ghost’s watchful gaze. Soft sculpture materials like denim, woven cloth, bronze wire and antiqued paper wistfully recall the lost era of the old American West, as do rough-hewn ceramic vessels decorated with loosely painted cowboy iconography. Strewn about on a genuine calf hide rug are fragments of rock, limestone, dried flowers and sticks. The seemingly haphazard arrangement of material is a strong point of this show, as it evokes both homeyness and a sense of abandonment connected with the Western frontier. Accentuating the exhibit’s sculptural components, a rustic and rope-framed painting of a pastoral farmstead and a series of aluminum engravings are as puzzling and alluring as the show’s enigmatic title. HILARY TSAI. Through Nov. 22. Falsefront Studio, 4518 NE 32nd Ave., 781-4609.
Everything is Water
Using vintage and contemporary imagery inspired by fairytales and fables, artist Melody Owen’s pieces are collages of prints that look stolen from Gray’s Anatomy (the book), vintage aeronautical reports and diagrams of sea creatures. She says the point of her minimalist, abstract cutaways and collages, is that every action is like a ripple in a pond. These are her visual interpretations of the wildly different results each action creates. “We are all connected,” her treeclock-egg-eyeball mash up seems to say. KYLA FOSTER. Through Jan. 2. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.
In The City
Screenprints on glass tiles of everyday objects like dumpsters, mopeds and storefront mannequins by Portland artist Stacey Lynn Smith, Nathan Sandberg’s
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
glass and concrete tiles that are dot printed to mimic the unnoticed textures of asphalt and Scottish artist Karlyn Sutherland’s kiln-formed glass rectangles combine at Bullseye Project’s In the City collective show. Using urban landscapes as inspiration, the show ranges from Sandberg’s “Paver 6”—a small square of concrete lined with cracks—to Smith’s screenprints reminiscent of fliers and ads that collage street corners, including things like a canary yellow food truck. Juxtaposed with the detail in Sandberg and Smith’s work, Sutherland’s clean, 17-inch tall glass rectangles on the wall are a minimalist tribute to the skylines of her home country. KYLA FOSTER. Through Dec. 23. Bullseye Gallery, 300 NW 13th Ave., 227-0222.
Interior Views
Bright, South American-style colors dominate the series of paintings, glass works and textiles themed around “hiding in plain sight” by Portland’s Mary Josephson. Her portraits are medium-sized oil paintings on wood, glass mosaics in ornate frames or vibrant embroidery on felt. The textures and intricate patterns in her works are just as front-and-center as the women with thick, black eyebrows that she chose as subjects. Josephson’s interest in dreamscapes, secrets and imaginary worlds comes through in the reflective gazes of her subjects, and her intent is to make viewers just as self-reflective. ASHLEY STULL MEYERS. Through Nov. 28. Laura Russo Gallery, 805 NW 21st Ave., 226-2754.
Internalized Forms
UNTITLED USA oil barrels. KYLA FOSTER. Through Jan. 2. Newspace Center for Photography, 1632 SE 10th Ave., 963-1935.
The Liminalists
The simple-looking works, full of bright geometric shapes or sinuous graphite blobs, belie artists Amy Bernstein and Patrick Kelly’s strict attention to process and composition. Kelly’s graphite forms look like metallic rain clouds, undulating with a shiny sheen, and Bernstein abstract strokes and shapes pop vibrantly off their white backgrounds. Both artists’ works stay firmly anchored in two dimensions on their surfaces, but the hues and forms are striking enough they threaten to break through into physical space and hit you in the face. GRAHAM BELL. Through Dec. 4. Nationale, 3360 SE Division St., 477-9786.
Magdalena Suarez Frimkess and Luis Romero
This two person show displays imperfect ceramic mugs painted in bright, pop-art hues next to paint-and-paper wall hangings. Despite their disparate mediums and practices, artists Magdalena Suarez Frimkess and Luis Romero’s have more in common than you’d expect. Suarez Frimkess is a self-taught ceramicist and Romero works in elaborate collages, but both sets of works explore form, function, culturally-specific aesthetics and history. This exhibit looks decidedly crafty, begging artistic questions about gesture, dimension and the hand-made. ASHLEY STULL MEYERS. Through Dec. 19. Adams and Ollman, 209 SW 9th Ave., 704-0694.
The Sockeye ad agency studio may seem like an odd venue for a solo show, but its first collaboration with Worksound International makes us hope there’s more to come. Jason Vance Dickason’s acrylic paintings are abstract with a cool, muted palette that hints at the sobriety of an internal office space. But imaginative shapes and swoops keep the work from appearing too clinical. Most visitors are drawn to the large-scale piece at the front entrance, but the real star is an untitled triptych that’s strategically placed on a blank wall and features dark, abstracted window blinds with just a touch of luminous sky peeking through. It’s ingenious how these architectural paintings hint at the space around them. HILARY TSAI. Through Feb. 28. Sockeye, 240 N Broadway, Suite 301, 226-3843.
No Specific Region
The Last Road North
Seeing Nature
For five years, Alaska-based photographer Ben Huff traveled along America’s northernmost thoroughfare, the Haul Road. Built as a supply route for the Trans-Alaska Pipeline, the road extends 414 miles and is traversed primarily by truckers transporting supplies to and from the oil fields. Huff is sharing his visual journey, inspired by the captivating Alaskan landscape and the individuals and machines who navigate it. His photographs capture the paradoxes of the Haul Road—beautiful, snowy mountains in the wilderness, juxtaposed with miles of snaking pipeline and abandoned, rusty
“How do I keep something I’ve made from looking like I’ve made it?” Artist D.E. May attempts to answer this question by working with ready-made objects and unlikely materials. No Specific Region will utilize cardboard, canvas, wood, graphite and other sculptural fragments in works that are meant as templates. Ranging from tiny cardboard pieces that look like mini architectural renderings to postcard- or calendar-sized boards of layered wood and graphite, May’s works are minimalist and mostly beige. But like the vague title of this show, they suggest that they’re on the way to something bigger. ASHLEY STULL MEYERS. Through Nov. 28. PDX Contemporary Art, 925 NW Flanders St., 222-0063.
With over 40 landscapes from the last 500 years, this exhibition from the Paul G. Allen Family Collection includes works by masters like Claude Monet, Gustav Klimt, Georgia O’Keeffe and Gerhard Richter. You can glimpse the progression of the genre all in one gallery through a diverse range of international artists, with some works that have never been shown publicly before. And it’s anyone’s guess when they will be again—this is rare peek that promises to be a blockbuster. GRAHAM BELL. Through Jan. 10. Portland Art Museum, 1219 SW Park Ave., 226-2811.
The Silk Road
Continuing his exploration of recycled textiles and geometric patterns, artist Mark R. Smith creates colorful laser cut prints on felt, which look like a computer motherboard. In this exhibit, Smith examines the historic silk trade route through central Asia and the illicit online black market of the same name. He juxtaposes images of objects found on the black market—like drug paraphernalia and weapons—with items found on the original Silk Road—figurines and animals. As an added layer, Smith’s goal is to make every work visually seductive as a commentary on the Internet’s irresistible pull. KYLA FOSTER. Through Jan. 2. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521.
Tinderbox: Gary Wiseman
After five months as an artist-in-residence in Mt. Hood National Forest, sponsored by environmental group Bark, Gary Wiseman has produced a diverse body of work that is united by his interest in the systems that shape our understanding of Portland’s wild backyard. References to fire repeat themselves through the show, including maps of fire perimeters drawn with handmade ink, sourced from the charcoal of the fires themselves. MEGAN HARNED. Through Nov 21. PataPDX, 625 NW Everett St. #104.
The Tyranny of Hope
These 54 aluminum prints of Detroit scenes—like four-way stops, old yearbook pages and kids on a playground— are all black and white, and grungy. The high-contrast squares with vignetted edges could easily seem bleak. But as a longtime Detroit resident, French photographer Romain Blanquart insists that this is his portrait of hope in the postrecession city. In one photo, “I Do Not Exist” is printed on the back of a sidewalk-dweller’s coat; but in another, kids frolic in sprinklers on their street. There’s no color here, but you can imagine the blue sky. Through Nov. 29. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.
Western Canada and Untitled USA
Stark photographs of forgotten people and places make up Canadian photographer Thomas Gardiner’s two-part exhibit for Blue Sky. The phrase “armpit of the world,” comes to mind when looking at his shots of dilapidated trucks sprouting rust, a scrawny and shirtless man sitting on bluffs above what looks like Spokane in the winter or an abandoned diesel pump at a truck stop. But there are bright flashes of human spirit too—a redhead flashing her tits out the window of a speeding blue Mustang. Western Canada is what he found when he returned home after school in New York City, and Untitled USA is the collection he started in grad school, snapping shots of the Northeastern states that reminded him of his home in Saskatchewan. Through Nov. 29. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 225-0210.
For more Visual Arts listings, visit
BOOKS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JAMES HELMSWORTH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.
American Copper, tells the story of a young girl living in turn-of-the-century Montana with a tyrannical father. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
THURSDAY, NOV. 19
TUESDAY, NOV. 24
Gary Gygax and the Birth of D&D
Dungeons & Dragons might just seem like another ’80s obsession that some dadbod at the bar, insists, “You just gotta check out, bro.” But the game’s orchestration of combat is really at the core of most modern gaming— and hey, it takes true innovation to be accused of Satanism in public fora. In Empire of Imagination, Michael Witwer explores the life of the game’s creator, Gary Gygax. Though he had a hedonistic period in L.A., turns out he was a Jehovah’s Witness. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.
will include Brent Weeks (Lightbringer series), Hugo winner Kristine Kathryn Rusch, and Annie Bellet, who withdrew from Hugo consideration during the Sad Puppy mess. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651. 4 pm. Free.
MONDAY, NOV. 23 Shann Ray
Acclaimed poet Shann Ray is an international leader in the academic scholarship of forgiveness—like, the CDC asks his opinion on it. His debut novel,
Colin Cowherd
Former KGW sportscaster Colin Cowherd went to ESPN, stole jokes from Michigan fan blogs, blamed Washington safety Sean Taylor for his own brutal murder and not so subtly suggested Dominican people are idiots. Now he’s not on ESPN. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
For more Books listings, visit
REVIEW
FRIDAY, NOV. 20 Alex Honnold
If you’re into rock climbing, you probably already know Alex Honnold’s name. The van-dwelling Berkeley dropout has earned a reputation for climbing fast, alone and without equipment. His book Alone on the Wall takes readers through his career. He’ll be interviewed by Anna Rymill of Portland Rock Gym. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
NOW ACCEPTING BEER SUBMISSIONS CALLING ALL OREGON BREWERS . application closes january 8, 2016. OBA STYLE GUIDELINES & SUBMISSION FORM :
Matt Mikalatos
Matt Mikalatos has something of a corner on the genre of comedy theology. His books star him as a central character, and find him making discoveries: The Jesus he knows turns out to be fake, say, or his neighbor turns out to be a werewolf. In his newest book, Sky Lantern, he discovers a paper lantern with a note from a kid written on it, and learns about parenting, kindness and love. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.
Patti Smith
In 2010, punk poet-singer-luminary Patti Smith blew everyone’s gourds with Just Kids, her memoir of being, uh, just a kid in New York with soonto-be-legendary photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. Her new memoir, M Train, details some of the same period in New York in the ’60s and ’70s, but with more excursions. The event is sold out, and the joke I could make about that is way too easy. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 274-6555. 7:30 pm Friday, Nov. 20. $27.
SATURDAY, NOV. 21 Image Comics
Image Comics was founded in 1992 with the revolutionary idea that maybe it was good to let writers and artists own the characters they created. In that time, it’s spawned titles such as Spawn, The Walking Dead and Witchblade. It brings together four stars: Kelly Sue DeConnick, writer of Bitch Planet; Kurt Busiek writer of Astro City; and Joe Keatinge, editor of the PopGun anthology and writer of Shutter and the forthcoming Ringside. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 4 pm. Free.
SUNDAY, NOV. 22 Margaret Malone
In People Like You, Margaret Malone plumbs the fear and humor in everyday life. The Portland writer’s work has appeared in Oregon Humanities and The Timberline Review. She’ll be speaking with Lidia Yuknavitch, whose portrait of a war photographer, The Small Backs of Children, came out earlier this year. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.
Sci-Fi Authorfest 9
This huge gathering of sci-fi authors
WWEEK.COM/OREGONBEERAWARDS
Rick Moody, Hotels of North America
Rick Moody is probably the most divisive member of the last generation’s Important White Male Novelists, a group that includes Jonathan Franzen and the Daves, Foster Wallace and Eggers. On one hand, Moody is the author of a Pushcart award-winning novel, Garden State, and the critically acclaimed The Ice Storm. On the other, he was the subject of an infamous literary curb-stomping by Dale Peck, who in a 2002 called Moody “the worst writer of his generation.” After reading Moody’s new novel, Hotels of North America (Little, Brown and Company, 198 pages, $25), I find myself somewhere in the middle: Moody is a fine writer with a mind perfectly suited for the production of memorable one-liners, such as when the pompous and overly literary narrator of the book, Reginald Edward Morse, asks, “Which man among us is not, most of the time, possessed of the desire to curl himself into a fetal ball?” If you’re already a Moody fan, you’ll find plenty to like in this book. If you’re not, you may find that Hotels overextends itself on a flimsy criticism of Internet culture that is unrealistic. Hotels is written as a series of motel reviews that sneak in a nonchronological biography of Reginald, the author of the reviews. Despite Reginald’s oddly formal diction, we are asked to believe he is one of the most well-read and -paid reviewers on the fictional RateMyLodging.com, a sort of Yelp for hotels. It’s worth noting that these reviews are of hotels like the Days Inn in Jackson, Tenn., in which Reginald goes on lengthy confessional digressions. (He writes about having sex with a woman on her period, and his methods for conning hotels for free services.) No website would pay for these reviews because they are not very useful to travelers. If Reginald could publish them, he’d have his job and testicles handed to him in a sack by a Twitter mob. And yet Moody writes Reginald not as being exceptional in, but rather emblematic of Internet culture, showing it to be pompous, arrogant, and having suspect credibility and zero self-awareness. Moody writes about the Internet with as much insight as Franzen or Tom Wolfe writes about college-aged women. Maybe this book would have worked 20 years ago, when the Internet wasn’t quite so intertwined with everyday life. But today, it feels like Moody isn’t so much critiquing culture from a prophetic remove as remaining willfully ignorant of its progression. ZACH MIDDLETON.
Judging occurs in Portland January 16-17. Awards ceremony on February 23.
GO: Rick Moody is at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., on Wednesday Nov. 18. 7:30 pm. Free. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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L I O N S G AT E / M U R R AY C L O S E / E L I S E E N G L E R T
MOVIES = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: ENID SPITZ.. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, WW 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.. Email: espitz@wweek. com. Fax: 243-1115.
OPENING THIS WEEK I Am Thor
C+ John Miki Thor is a bodybuilder-turnedperformer-turned-rock star. At 60, John still manages to go all in for his alter ego Thor, performing sold-out shows around the world, and he comes across more like Thor than any Hollywood rendition. He’s also pretty much the nicest rock star around. So fans are baffled as to why Thor didn’t get the fame he supposedly deserves. Documentarian Ryan Wise focuses his lens on Thor himself, who reveals the hurdles of working without a manager and how members of his band continually quit and had to be replaced. But Wise gives us a largerthan-life rock-and-roll figure without bothering to properly tell us why we should care about him. The movie is a bit of a drag if you aren’t already a fan of Thor, but for his cult following, it may be just the affirmation they need. NR. ENID SPITZ. Hollywood.
Brooklyn
A- Based on the title alone, you’d assume that Brooklyn is about a group of artists opening a boutique that sells only dog hoodies. It’s not— Brooklyn is a lovely period romance about a young Irish woman trying to make her way in 1950s New York— but since it’s set in the ’50s, everybody’s dressed exactly like they are now and listens to music the same way. Based on the novel by Irish author Colm Tóibín and adapted by Nick Hornby (High Fidelty, About a Boy), Brooklyn is just the sweetest thing. Saoirse Ronan (Atonement) makes an adorable couple with Emory Cohen (Smash), and I could watch them court for hours, especially their awkward dinners with Cohen’s Italian family. Portlanders will especially love the more subtle message: Untold wonders await you if you leave your shitty small town and move to New York’s coolest borough. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cinema 21.
By the Sea
Brangelina reunites onscreen as a conflicted, but still irresistable pair. But this time they’re a little older. And in France. Screened after deadline. See wweek.com for Lauren Terry’s review. R. Clackamas, Fox Tower.
Rosenwald
B- Director Aviva Kempner dives right into the humanitarian work of Julius Rosenwald, who became known for creating Rosenwald schools. You can’t help wishing this documentary was in Drunk History format for its East Coast accents and lively, detailed storytellers. It’s jam-packed with all the philanthropy that the Jewish entrepreneur did for the African-American race he felt so much in common with. An inspiring film, it offers an ounce of hope for our selfish society rather than aiming for a reaction. Rosenwald chose to give rather than bathe in his wealth, and that’s a little-known piece of history we should toast our Manischewitz to. NR. AMY WOLFE. Cinema 21.
CONT. on page 56
FEATURE
The Hunger Games: A Primer Did you miss the first 2.5 Hunger Games because you weren’t into movies about kids murdering each other? Here are literally all the facts you need to know to seem like an aloof expert without losing six hours of your life.
murdered by shooting a bow and pretending to be in love with a baker’s son who uses the camouflage talents he acquired while frosting cakes to frost his face. Then, they pretend to be in love, and the people running this death battle look down from their steam-powered hovercraft and say, “Fine, you can survive. This is good TV.” It’s a pretty enjoyable ride, as far as movies about kids murdering each other go. Woody Harrelson plays a funny drunk guy, and there are werewolves.
Film No. 1—The Hunger Games
Film No. 2—Catching Fire
HOP ON THE HOVERCRAFT BEFORE THE SERIES ENDS. BY ALE X FALCO NE
@alex_falcone
In the future, the world is just 13 states of poor people and “The Capitol,” where everyone dresses like Lady Gaga’s dancers. Each district produces one thing—District 4 catches fish, District 7 makes lumber, and District 9 presumably makes aliens. Our hero is the alwayson-the-verge-of-tears Katniss Everdeen (played tearfully by Jennifer Lawrence). She lives in the coal-mining district. Yes, they’re still mining coal even though the government has motherfucking hovercraft. Some genius decided the way to keep the districts in line is to make children fight to the death on TV. If you’re thinking, “Wouldn’t that cause a rebellion?” Yes! Tearfully, Katniss wins the battle royale in which 22 children are
Remember that rebellion that everybody but the government saw coming? Watching Katniss win the battle got the peasants riled up, and they’re ready to go full-on civil war. Remember: It wasn’t their kids being murdered, racial segregation, constant poverty or being forced to mine coal for no fucking reason (THE GOVERNMENT HAS A HOVERCRAFT AND WEREWOLVES). It was watching Katniss kiss a boy who thinks his face is a cake. Since this government hasn’t met a problem it couldn’t solve by making kids murder each other on TV, they send Katniss back into the arena. Philip Seymour Hoffman is in this one, and he’s amazing.
Film No. 3— Mockingjay, Part 1
Since the series was slated to wind up in the mid-2010s, the last movie got split into two—for arti$tic rea$on$. It’s straight-up war time, but while the exciting stuff is happening offscreen, the leaders decide this is a war of propaganda and make Katniss just pretend to fight on TV. Meanwhile, the baddies kidnap Cakeface and force him to make commercials for the other team. While we’re watching this dumb battle of campaign ads, there’s a goddamn war going on with tanks and guns, and we see none of it. Finally, this war is really getting going and... The movie stops in the middle of a scene so they can get another $12 from you.
Film No. 4—Mockingjay, The Rest of It
It opens this weekend. Talk about anticipating this stuff so you look informed: 1 The war. Finally, we see the battles that have ostensibly been going on in the last two movies. We keep pretending that bow-and-arrow skills can beat lasers and hovercrafts. 2 The army of lizard people. Remember that government that’s losing to a crying girl who makes TV commercials? Turns out they created an army of lizard people, and they’re still losing. 3 Philip Seymour Hoffman. The actor died a couple of weeks before this half-movie was finished. The studio insists it didn’t need Furious 7-style trickery to put him in other scenes, but the hole he left in this movie (and the world) will probably be noticeable. RIP. SEE IT: The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2 is rated PG-13. It opens Friday at most Portland-area theaters.
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MOVIES Secret in Their Eyes
REVIEW
STREEt P.29
earnest FBI investigator determined to convict the man who murdered the daughter of his colleague Jess (Julia Roberts). After initially failing to arrest the killer, Ray has spent the past 13 years poring through hundreds of mug shots in hopes of building a case, and he may have just found the killer. Flashbacks from the tense days following the murder reveal the suspect was an FBI informant from a supposed terrorist cell. Unfortunately, any thoughtful commentary on the paranoid state of post-9/11 America is lost in the film’s confusing timeline. Scenes from the past and present blend into one big chase, but this one is at times even less believable than Taken. But Ejiofor’s conviction is intense enough to make us follow along, even when the loose ends tie up just a little too neatly to be realistic. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.
Theeb
A- In the desert of the Ottoman Empire circa 1916, the young Theeb lives in a man’s world—shooting guns, gambling and watching for enemy attacks. When a British guest comes to his village searching for a local guide and decides on Theeb’s brother, the tiny, sad-eyed waif follows their perilous journey. The plot may be unsurprising—the travelers’ lives are endangered, and Theeb fearlessly acts with wisdom beyond his years and saves the day—but this Bedouin Western is anything but boring beige, for all its sand-dune scenery. The desert is a stunning backdrop for the cast of unknowns, including Jacir Eid Al-Hwietat as Theeb. And with one look from his bottomless eyes, we believe that greatness can come in all shapes and sizes. NR. ENID SPITZ. Living Room Theaters.
Trumbo
C+ Bryan Cranston (Breaking Bad) is cooking up something other than meth in Trumbo. Cranston delivers a stellar performance as Dalton Trumbo, a rebellious screenwriter who despite being the highest-paid in the business in 1947, can’t stay out of trouble. He and nine other artists are blacklisted and jailed for refusing to testify before the House Un-American Activities Committee while conniving gossip columnist Hedda Hopper (Helen Mirren) fuels the media fire. With the glowing Diane Lane looking better than ever as Trumbo’s wife, Cleo, and John Goodman adding comedy to the role of a questionable film producer, the pronounced cast tries their best through the sometimes vague, sometimes triumphant events that played out in big-screen history. The majority of the movie is spent wanting to like the film, the acting far surpassing the storyline that fails to deliver a memorable message. This may just be all the right ingredients, but a bad batch. R. AMY WOLFE. Fox Tower.
Uksuum Cauyai
B- Uksuum Cauyai, or The Drums
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of Winter, is an educational documentary booming with traditional dance and music performances from the Yup’ik Eskimo people of Emmonak. Tribal drumbeats from the native Alaskan group shake you throughout while performers swiftly wave feather props, meant to whoosh around the spiritual world. Refreshingly educational and an easy follow-along, this documentary filmed in the ’70s is just as bumping but very different from the modern-day bump ’n’ grind—take it as a learning experience or background music for your next Zumba workout. NR. AMY WOLFE. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.
COURTESY OF UNIVERSAL PICTURES
C Ray (Chiwetel Ejiofor) is an
DOUBLE DRAMA: Angelina Jolie-Pitt in By the Sea.
Jolie-Pitt’s Odd Couple Angelina Jolie-Pitt is dominating Portland’s theaters this week after a nearly five-year hiatus from the screen. In true Brangelina form, she’s adopting from other countries. In one case, it’s the cause of young Ethiopian girls who are kidnapped into marriage in Difret, a true-story drama she produced. On the other hand, she borrows from French arthouse cinema for By the Sea, her third directorial feature, in which she co-stars with Brad Pitt as a doomed couple beautifully nose-diving through mental breakdowns and French hotel rooms. Both films feature tearful wives. One is a 14-year-old schoolgirl who’s abducted on her walk home, brutally raped and slated for execution when she accidentally shoots her would-be husband in self-defense. The other gobbles prescription drugs because she’s married to a Pitt who looks like Milton Waddams from Office Space. Early critics used By the Sea as a launch pad for debates about vanity projects and the dearth of midrange cinema in today’s centrifuge of Kickstarters and Hunger Games. Their one point of agreement: Jolie-Pitt’s first appearance since her New York Times tell-alls is decidedly “meh” (the film screened too late for WW to review). But that’s not for lack of high-tension cliff walks and domestic violence. While you’d expect the suspense and graphic abuse to lie with Difret, director Zeresenay Berhane Mehari’s feature debut is a quiet meditation on fealty in Ethiopian villages. It comes with a potent shot of activism—Mehari, a USC graduate who was raised in Ethiopia until age 19, based the story of Hirut (Tizita Hagere) on a 1996 court case, and he intends the film as a call to action. But as the lawyer Meaza Ashenafi (Meron Getnet) takes on Hirut’s case and takes in the battered girl, Mehari’s film turns more contemplative than outraged. It’s mostly intimate shots of families sharing meals and sweeping grassland views. While Jolie-Pitt’s Jekyll-and-Hyde showing might not deliver outstanding cinema in either case, both excel as debate fodder. Halfway through Difret, when Ashenafi explains a kitchen stove to Hirut and Hirut explains her village’s justice system to Ashenafi, one wonders how an “in my village” dialogue between the two films’ would-be wives would go. ENID SPITZ.
Difret and By the Sea show two different wives.
SEE IT: By the Sea is rated R. It opens Friday at Clackamas and Fox Tower. Difret is unrated. It opens Friday at the Kiggins Theatre.
STILL SHOWING Ant-Man
B+ If it were a comic book, it wouldn’t be the kind you put in a Mylar bag. It’d be one that you read with greasy fingers and childlike relish. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Vancouver, Valley.
Black Mass
A- Much like the city’s other exports, Boston’s gangster flicks vary in quality from genre-shattering genius (The Departed, most ’90s bands, the people who invented America) to mindnumbing pantomimes of misogyny (The Boondock Saints, Boston sports fans, Mark Wahlberg). Scott Cooper’s Black Mass is the latest cinematic try. It tells the story of Boston’s most notorious criminal, James “Whitey” Bulger (Johnny Depp) and the deal he made with the FBI’s John Connolly (Joel
Edgerton) that ensured he could do whatever he wanted for decades. R. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Vancouver, Valley.
Bridge of Spies
B- Steven Spielberg was born to convey viewers through weird and wonderful alternate realities. Even though history is nearly as illusory as a dinosaur theme park, the director’s gift just doesn’t shine as brightly when he contends with humanity’s past. Bridge of Spies, starring Tom Hanks as an insurance lawyer recruited by the U.S. government to negotiate a spy-forspy trade with the Soviet Union, benefits from a caustic screenplay by the Coen brothers. While Spielberg is pretty good even when he’s on auto-pilot, there is little here that doesn’t feel perfunctory. PG-13. CHRIS STAMM. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Living Room Theaters, Oak Grove,
A Brilliant Young Mind
C+ The formula for genius moviemaking is “underdog - loving parent + conflicted mentor = successful public performance.” Exhibit A: Step Up. The math in A Brilliant Young Mind may be more cerebral, but the movie isn’t. Autistic genius Nathan (Asa Butterfield) struggles with expressing emotions. After losing his father, Nathan pairs up with his pot-smoking tutor, Mr. Humphreys (Rafe Spall), who’s experiencing setbacks of his own—especially sexual—from living with multiple sclerosis. Humphreys coaches Nathan to qualify for an International Mathematical Olympiad in Taiwan, where Nathan dreams of joining a team of painfully annoying, young intellectuals. This fiction version of director Morgan Matthews’ 2007 documentary is a coming-of-age film that goes nowhere for all its globetrotting. What the film does offer is an intimate look at living with autism. The quality acting comes from Sally Hawkins as Julie, perfectly frustrated as she struggles to get Nathan’s lunch perfect—every item must be a prime number. Witnessing Nathan’s “special powers,” as his dad called them, may give the film its spectacle, but its soul is in the relationships Nathan struggles to build. When Mind drops the whiz act and focuses on Nathan’s fear of holding his mother’s hand—that’s when the figures check. AMY WOLFE. Living Room Theaters.
Burnt
Everyone is always in the kitchen, and you’d think one crowded with Bradley Cooper, Sienna Miller, Emma Thompson and Uma Thurman (Uma!) would be on fire. Cooper is bad-boy chef Adam Jones, who’s looking for another ego trip, aka Michelin star. R. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest Theatre, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Movies on TV, Tigard, Wilsonville.
Crimson Peak
B+ There are all manner of ghosts in this gorgeous, tragic tale, but to call it a horror film is to completely mislabel Guillermo del Toro’s meticulously crafted, old-fashioned tale of twisted souls and timeless longing. Scary isn’t really the point. The things that go bump in the night are not nearly so terrifying as the people who walk the earth, and the film is so immersive and gorgeous that the plot is secondary. The film is a little too slow-moving for those expecting something more jolty and probably a little too obvious for those looking for a deep mystery. While it’s not del Toro’s most compelling work, it’s very surely his most beautiful. R. AP KRYZA. Eastport, Division, Evergreen, Pioneer Place.
Dying to Know
C Director Gay Dillingham’s debut feature traces the lifelong friendship forged between the coolest professors ever thrown out of Harvard’s psychology department: Timothy Leary and Richard Alpert (better known as Ram Dass). They urge their countrymen to experiment with psychedelics and take up yoga, and effectively ruin dorm room discourse. Breezing through generational touchstones about Nixon and the early days of LSD, the film’s anecdotes are charming. NR. JAY HORTON. Cinema 21.
Everest
C O U R T E S Y O F WA R N E R B R O S .
B+ In 1996, a stranded group of climb-
ers, including New Zealand mountaineer Rob Hall (Jason Clarke) and writer Jon Krakauer (Michael Kelly), met a massive storm at the top of the world. Today’s CGI and 3-D technology puts the viewer on the mountain in a visceral way. PG13. LAUREN TERRY. Eastport, Fox Tower.
Goodnight Mommy
B+ There’s a twist at the cold heart
of German directors Severin Fiala and Veronika Franz’s Goodnight Mommy that most viewers will probably see coming, but that doesn’t kill any of the tension in this deeply troubling horror show. Set in an isolated lake house, the fi lm centers on twin brothers Lukas and Elias, whose mother (Susanne Wuest) comes home from facial reconstruction surgery with a head wrapped in bandages and a newfound malevolence toward her sons. R. AP KRYZA. Academy, Laurelhurst.
Goosebumps
A- It’s easy to be skeptical about a 2015 Goosebumps film in 3-D. Jack Black plays R.L. Stine, who joins forces with a couple of cute kids to fight every monster he’s ever written about and save the town. PG. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.
Grandma
C+ Like a feminist companion piece to last year’s Bill Murray feature St. Vincent, Paul Weitz’s Grandma tells the tale of Elle (Lily Tomlin), who takes her neglected granddaughter (Julia Garner) under her wing when the teenager comes asking for money for an abortion. An out-of-work poet and widow who just broke up with her young girlfriend (Judy Greer), Elle sees the situation as a chance to bond with her entitled granddaughter. So she takes the girl on a journey through L.A., visiting people from her past to raise funds for the procedure. Tomlin is great as the wise but stubborn Elle, doling out f-bombs and sagelike lessons in equal measure, but despite flashes of genuine emotion, Grandma eventually buckles under its heavy-handedness. It would have made a great play. Instead, it’s an all right movie with a fantastic central performance. R. AP KRYZA. Academy, Laurelhurst, Fox Tower.
Hotel Transylvania 2
Adam Sandler’s hotel is flourishing. PG. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mt. Hood, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, Evergreen, Hilltop, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville.
Inside Out
A Pretty much everybody in the theater was sobbing at some point during Inside Out. It’s sad. Crushingly, relentlessly sad. And absolutely brilliant from writer-director Pete Docter, (Up). It’s about young Riley, who has to move across the country for her dad’s job, and the tiny people in her head who represent her emotions. PG. ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Avalon, Empirical, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Vancouver, Valley.
The Intern
B+ Nancy Meyers’ latest film successfully tells a funny, intergenerational story without relying on health scare or a youthful makeover for Ben (Robert De Niro). As an active widower and retiree in need of something to keep himself busy,
Ben applies to a senior internship program at “About the Fit,” a Topshoplike online clothing site founded by the dedicated Jules Ostin (Anne Hathaway). Besides taking place in a squeaky-clean, caucasian version of Brooklyn, this movie doesn’t shy away from the less-glamorous details of being a female CEO in a society that is still playing catch-up, at one point showing condescending glances from Jules’ fellow mothers at her daughter’s school. De Niro does a terrific job embodying the amused patience his generation must adopt to survive in a millennial’s world. He wears a suit every day out of habit, but his unquestioning admiration of Jules’ tenacity is a refreshingly modern concept, serving as a reminder that the timeless art of being a gentleman begins with respect. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Lake Theater, Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen.
The Last Witch Hunter
would be cheering for the underdog, Freddie Steinmark (Finn Wittrock), who, despite his small frame, makes the University of Texas football team. They may be the Longhorns, but it’s a short run for Steinmark and head coach Darrell Royal (Aaron Eckhart), their meaningful coach-player bond cut short by terminal bone cancer. The calculated eyebrow raises, corny make-out scenes between Freddie and girlfriend Linda (Sarah Bolger), and the light family comedy interspersed with darker material—this is anyone’s predictable all-American movie. PG. AMY WOLFE. Eastport, Clackamas, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Tigard.
Our Brand Is Crisis
B- This film is based loosely on a 2005 documentary, which was based on a 2002 Bolivian presidential election. In a
way it’s triple-distilled truth, but mostly it feels like an over-interpreted copy of a copy of a copy. The acting and some decently funny moments (like a llama getting hit by a car, which I felt guilty for laughing at) mask the feeling of being force-fed idealism well. But as with all force-feeding, I still ended up feeling sick to my stomach when it was over. R. ALEX FALCONE. Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Wilsonville.
Pan
Director Joe Wright (Atonement, Hanna) remakes the iconic children’s story as a modern-day action flick with Hugh Jackman and Rooney Mara. Screened after deadline. PG. Academy, Avalon, Clackamas, Mt. Hood, Bridgeport, Division, Movies on TV, Valley.
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REVIEW
D- The Last Witch Hunter attempts a
S A R A H S H AT Z
Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy.
lot of twists and turns, and it all ends up rating lower than Vin Diesel’s voice. Diesel grunts and groans as Kaulder, an immortal witch hunter fighting to save civilization. The rare sparks of talent here are Michael Caine as an elderly priest and Elijah Wood, who stays wide-eyed, airy and Frodo Baggins-like for the entire movie. The greatest disappointment of all is that the ending promises an unfortunate sequel. That comes off like a threat. PG-13. AMY WOLFE. Eastport, Clackamas, Cinema 99, Division, Movies on TV.
The Martian
B- Take the buzz surrounding The Martian with a boulder of salt. It’s just a pretty good sci-fi yarn based on Andy Weir’s book that stumbles on its own ambition. When a massive storm hits the Martian exploration project and Watney’s team leaves him for dead, the skilled botanist realizes that the only way to escape starvation and space madness is to “science the shit” out of his situation. As always, Scott’s direction is spot-on. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, Wilsonville.
Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
C Still runnin’. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Clackamas, Movies on TV
Meet the Patels
B- Ravi Patel has American dreams of finding his soulmate. PG. LAUREN TERRY. Laurelhurst.
Miss You Already
C You’re not allowed to openly dislike a movie about cancer. So instead, I will provide a more nuanced perspective by playing the game of yay/boo. Drew Barrymore and Toni Collette are superduper best friends: Yay! Toni has cancer: Boo. Toni and Drew go on plenty of best-friend adventures while dealing with Toni’s cancer, and they meet funny, interesting people: Yay! Everybody in the movie sounds exactly the same— women, men, adults, children, doctors, bartenders and wig makers all talk like they’re the same people: Boo. It’s nice to get a movie about female friendship because those are rare, and Toni plays an interesting, multidimensional person: Yay! But this platonic comedy has one-dimensional, expendable male characters: Boo. Sometimes it’s funny: Yay! Sometimes it’s gross—needles going into arms, vomit going into salad bowls, and a baby going out of Drew Barrymore: Boo. It’s sad: Yay? I give it a C grade: Boo. That’s still passing: Yay! PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport.
My All-American
My All-American is a squeaky-clean sob story, perfect for a football fanatic. With Remember the Titans spirit and Friday Night Lights game scenes, anyone
B-
THE INTERN
THE MORNING AFTER: Seth Rogen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Anthony Mackie.
A Shit-Faced Christmas Carol How the Grinch got fucked in a restroom.
Christmas comes but once a year. Families gather, forget their petty squabbles (or pretend to) and exchange gifts. No two families celebrate the same way. Some go to midnight Mass, some open presents on Christmas Eve, some wait until the correct day. The three childhood friends in The Night Before have a Christmas tradition of their own: They get fucked up, fuck shit up and sing “Christmas in Hollis” at a karaoke bar. The film opens with a prologue delivered in Christmas fable prose by Tracy Morgan—the first of many celebrity cameos and small roles. Ethan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt, sporting lengthy 3rd Rock From the Sun locks in the flashbacks) lost his parents at Christmastime in 2001. To cheer him up, his friends Isaac and Chris (Seth Rogen and Anthony Mackie) took him to bar. And so a tradition was born. Fast-forward to 2015: Isaac is about to become a father, Chris is an NFL star, and the crew is celebrating their last depraved Christmas together. This time, they’ve got tickets to the wildest Christmas bash in New York City, the Nutcracka Ball. That setup sounds corny as hell, but director Jonathan Levine and the talented cast squeeze laughs and genuine pathos out of it. The Night Before functions as a shit-faced, drugged-up update of A Christmas Carol, with the friends’ old dealer from high school—the eccentric Mr. Green (a scene-stealing Michael Shannon)—playing the ghost of Christmases present, future and past. Ethan, Isaac and Chris are all lying to themselves in some way. True to the source, they do find some kind of enlightenment—however much can be found while mixing cocaine and shrooms, fucking a Grinch in a bar restroom, and being beaten up by two Santas on a snowy street corner. The Night Before is not only profane, it’s unfocused. It feels like one of the longest 101-minute films ever made as it tries to wrap up every storyline. But it also manages to tap into the spirit of the season, essentially a hokey Christmas movie masquerading as a dudebro comedy. None of these childhood friends is happy or has his shit together, but they do have each other. And isn’t that what Christmas is all about? JOHN LOCANTHI. B+ SEE IT: The Night Before is rated R. It opens Friday at most Portlandarea theaters. Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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MOVIES B+ Eight years ago, Jason Blum’s cheapo horror empire began with a $15,000 festival filler. The sixth and final installment of his “found footage”-fueled franchise, Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension, arrives bearing the same tricks as its predecessors. Alas, the effects may suffer from first-run showings at Living Room Theaters and the Avalon Theatre since Regal Cinemas—like many chains—was frightened off by the producer’s unholy alliance with an all-too-apropos threat: video on demand. R. JAY HORTON. Avalon, Oak Grove.
The Peanuts Movie
A bald child named Charlie battles questionable fashion choices, impossible odds and burgeoning hormones. G. Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Lake Theater, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Sandy, St. Johns Theater.
Phoenix
A Since its debut at the Toronto International Film Festival last summer, the nominations keep coming for this concise, moving neo-noir set in postwar Germany. Nelly (Nina Hoss) has just returned from a concentration camp, her face disfigured beyond recognition. After recovering from reconstructive surgery, she learns of her massive inheritance, but is only concerned about finding her husband, Johnny (Ronald Zehrfeld). “I no longer exist,” she says after seeing her unfamiliar reflection, but her search for Johnny spirals into a far more twisted tale of what remains of her sense of self. Director Christian Petzold crafts this stylish period piece without relying on dramatic lighting or odd angles, instead thickening the mystery with jarring cuts that keep the audience guessing. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Laurelhurst.
Sicario
A Emily Blunt (The Devil Wears
Prada) is a talented FBI agent specially recruited into a task force fighting a brutal war against Mexican drug cartels. She spends the whole movie confused and on edge while taking orders from the mysterious Benicio Del Toro (Snatch), who manages to act without ever fully opening his eyes or mouth. As the real mission of the task force slowly takes shape, so do beautiful sweeping helicopter shots of the border zone and heartbreaking vignettes of all the people affected by drug war. R. ALEX FALCONE. Eastport, Hollywood, Division, Fox Tower, Movies on TV.
Spectre
C+ How do you like your James Bond? Brooding and brutal, or breezily throwing out quips? Should he drink craft cocktails or Heineken? Spectre—the 26th Bond film—has it all, and more. The one thing it doesn’t have is the ability to leave a lasting impression. We walk out of the theater neither shaken nor stirred. Following the impressive Skyfall, director Sam Mendes returns to the director’s chair. Buildings crumble, helicopters do barrel rolls, and Daniel Craig nonchalantly causes millions in property damage. But from the minute Sam Smith’s grating theme music starts, the movie slides downhill. Most disappointing is Christoph Waltz—so perfect in Inglourious Basterds and Django Unchained—who just sneers, cackles and hunches. Sure, there’s fun to be had— Bond drives a tricked-out ride through Rome’s narrow streets and engages in an Alpine plane chase before the anticlimactic conclusion (extremely uncommon for the series) lands with a dull thud. Considering everybody who’s involved in Spectre, the very last reaction anybody expected was “meh.” PG-13. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Mill Plain, Cornelius, Edgefield, Milwaukie, Moreland, Oak Grove, Cinema 99, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Hilltop, Lloyd Center, Movies
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on TV, Pioneer Place, Sherwood, Tigard, Wilsonville, Roseway, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas.
AP FILM STUDIES CO U R T E SY O F PA R A M O U N T P I C T U R E S
Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension
Spotlight
A- Spotlight inverts the usual comparison: It’s a movie that feels like prestige television. Specifically, it feels like The Wire. (Director Tom McCarthy played the fabricating reporter Scott Templeton in season 5 of the HBO series.) An Oscar favorite recounting how a Boston Globe investigative team uncovered an epidemic of pederast priests abetted by the Archdiocese, Spotlight borrows the rhythms of a propulsive TV procedural. It resists the temptation for self-congratulation. Instead, there’s a pall of communal guilt (much of it Catholic), an acknowledgement that a Pulitzer Prize won’t erase decades of conniving at rape. Spotlight is endurable because the actors, a White Guys in Khakis hall of fame including Liev Schreiber, Michael Keaton and Mark Ruffalo, decline to grandstand. They convey through small gestures—a twitch, a sigh, a pause in scribbling notes—how each revelation presents both a horror and another puzzle to solve. The highest compliment I can pay Spotlight: I would watch this on TV. R. AARON MESH. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Fox Tower.
Steve Jobs
B This is the more high-profile and undoubtedly better of the two movies, with Danny Boyle at the helm and Michael Fassbender (12 Years a Slave) in the lead role instead of Ashton Kutcher (Dude, Where’s My Car?). Never seeming quite human, Fassbender’s Jobs oscillates between enthusiasm for his own ideas and outrage that the world can’t keep up with him, in exactly the way that people close to the genius described him. R. ALEX FALCONE. Fox Tower.
Trainwreck
C Amy Schumer is the absolute tops, but Trainwreck isn’t worth the ticket price. R . ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst.
The Visit
B- M. Night Shyamalamadingdong has
lost the luster of his early career, so it’s no surprise he’s making little $5 million found-footage horror movies. But this entry into cheap-shaky horror movies doesn’t add much to the genre. The Visit is told from the points of view of an unbelievably precocious 15-year-old who’s making a documentary about her first trip to meet her estranged grandparents, and her 12-year-old brother, whose rapping is so bad it makes me want bad things to happen to him much faster than they do. The movie is packed full of jump scares and grossouts (vomit, poop, old people naked) and a cast of people you’ve probably never heard of. The film’s got some tense scenes, but the humor, even though it’s unintentional, makes it hard to stay in the moment. “Little kid, will you climb into the oven please?” We’ll give it to M. Night, he does make us feel trapped in an uncomfortable spot. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Vancouver.
What Our Fathers Did: A Nazi Legacy
B- How do you cope with knowing your father was an architect of evil? In this anguish-inducing documentary, two men struggle with that question in very different ways. The grandson of a World War II survivor tours his family’s Ukrainian hometown with two children of the men responsible for its decimation. One Nazi’s son, Niklas Frank, is profoundly repentant for his father’s actions, but another Nazi’s son, Horst von Wächter, is in complete denial. When the three men visit an auditorium where the elder Frank condemned thousands to death under the elder von Wächter’s jurisdiction, the men beg ad nauseum for Horst to incriminate the memory of his father. It forces you again and again to examine your own capacity for mercy, at the risk of some serious schadenfreude. NR. ERIC MILLMAN. Living Room Theaters.
For more Movies listings, visit
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
“NOBODY MEANS WHAT THEY SAY ON THANKSGIVING”: Home for the Holidays.
Thanksgiving Crapshoot HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS HITS TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT. BY A P KRYZA
apkryza@wweek.com
For a holiday that consists of sitting on your ass while staring at the TV, then sitting on your ass at a table, before returning your ass (now larger) to the couch—there’s a startling dearth of Thanksgiving movies. You’d think that by this time Garry Marshall would’ve lined up an all-star ensemble for Thanksgiving, featuring myriad subplots like Ashton Kutcher having a meet-cute with Emma Stone as they argue over a store’s last turkey or some shit. Or Eli Roth would’ve made good on his fake Thanksgivingthemed trailer from Grindhouse. But nope. Your options for actual Thanksgiving-themed entertainment are limited to the depressive laments of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, a sub-Dreamworks animated film called Free Birds and a slasher series called ThanksKilling that makes Roth look like Nicholas Roeg. That makes the Jodie Foster-directed Home for the Holidays (screening Monday at the Clinton) officially the second-best Thanksgiving movie of all time, trailing John Hughes’ Planes, Trains and Automobiles by at least a dining-room table. Second-best is no small feat, even in a slim field. But perhaps for being true to life, Home for the Holidays is often overlooked. Like National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, it’s a film with a rogues’ gallery of shitty relatives, though here they’re bombarding a frumpy, depressive Holly Hunter as she reluctantly returns to Baltimore for the holiday. There is a hateful sister, an eccentric gay brother (Robert Downey Jr., pretty damned perfect), wacky aunts, stressed parents and all manner of dysfunction. Perhaps the reason that Home isn’t embraced as Thanksgiving Day fodder is that it really sets the table (sorry!) for hyper-analyzing your own experience. This is, after all, a movie about a family of opposites who eventually explode their emotional baggage all over the table. Is that really the movie you want to watch as you prepare for your drunk uncle to rant about Obamacare while you try to eat pie?
The curse of Home for the Holidays is that it’s too authentic for its own good, a film that holds the mirror up a little too close. View it alone. It’s wonderful as mandatory Thanksgiving-eve prep-viewing. Not so much while you’re sitting on the couch flanked by the archetypes depicted onscreen. Maybe that’s why Americans watch so much football on Thanksgiving. The volume drowns out your company instead of holding a pre-dinner microscope to Uncle Joe’s flaws. SEE IT: Home for the Holidays screens at the Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Monday, Nov. 23. ALSO SHOWING:
Long before Rick Grimes and company turned zombies into soapopera fuel, Bela Legosi was using voodoo magic to turn the woman of his dreams into a brainless slave in 1932’s White Zombie. Joy Cinema. 9:15 pm Wednesday, Nov. 18. Church of Film unearths 1989’s Hard to Be a God, the tale of a historian sent to another planet stuck in the Middle Ages to document its civilization. Oh, and Werner Herzog shows up, because that’s mandated in all West German psychedelic freakouts from the ’80s. Clinton Street Theater. 8 pm Wednesday, Nov. 18. Opera Theater Oregon presents a restoration of the French romance The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, preceded by live French cabaret music. Clinton Street Theater. 7 pm Friday, Nov. 20. Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure may not be the perfect Tim Burton film, with its creepy protagonist, stop-motion monsters, evil clowns, tilted angles and Danny Elfman score, but…oh wait, nope. This is the perfect Tim Burton film. Kennedy School. Nov. 20-26. The Association of Moving Image Archivists National Conference is in town (get ready, strip clubs, because these dudes party), and to celebrate, the NW Film Center is hosting a series of screenings that will be really, really exciting to folks who agonize over aspect ratios. NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium. Nov. 19-21. George Lucas’ debut film, 1970’s THX 1138, is presented in 35 mm format, which contains zero digitally added Ewoks. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Monday, Nov. 23. The Grindhouse Film Festival is back with I Drink Your Blood, a 1970 splatterfest featuring acid-fueled Satanic hippies with rabies. And yes, it’s amazing. Hollywood Theatre. 7:30 pm Tuesday, Nov. 24.
Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX
1510 NE Multnomah St. SPECTRE: THE IMAX EXPERIENCE Wed-Thu 11:30, 3:00 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY -- PART 1 / THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY -- PART 2 Wed 4:30 LOVE THE COOPERS Wed-Thu 12:40, 3:30, 7:30, 10:20 MY ALL AMERICAN Wed-Thu 12:50, 3:50, 7:10, 10:10 THE 33 Wed-Thu 12:00, 3:20, 6:40, 9:45 SPECTRE Wed-Thu 12:10, 1:00, 3:40, 4:30, 7:00, 8:00, 10:30 THE PEANUTS MOVIE Wed -Thu 11:45, 4:45, 7:20 THE PEANUTS MOVIE 3D Wed-Thu 2:15, 9:50 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed -Thu 11:45, 3:10 GOOSEBUMPS Wed-Thu 12:30 GOOSEBUMPS 3D Wed -Thu 3:25 THE MARTIAN Wed-Thu 12:20 THE MARTIAN 3D Wed -Thu 3:55 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 -- THE IMAX EXPERIENCE Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:20, 3:40, 7:00, 10:20 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun 11:50, 3:10, 6:30, 9:50 THE NIGHT BEFORE Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun 11:35, 2:25, 5:10, 7:50, 10:30 SECRET IN THEIR EYES Thu-Fri-SatSun 1:00, 3:55, 6:50, 9:45
Regal Division Street Stadium 13
16603 SE Division St. THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY -- PART 1 / THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY -- PART 2 Wed 4:30 LOVE THE COOPERS Wed-Thu 11:40, 2:20, 5:05, 7:40, 10:20 MY ALL AMERICAN Wed-Thu 11:30, 2:15, 5:00, 7:45, 10:30 THE 33 Wed-Thu 12:30, 3:30, 7:00, 10:00 SPECTRE Wed -Thu 11:45, 12:15, 3:15, 3:45, 6:45, 7:15, 10:00 THE PEANUTS MOVIE Wed-Thu 11:30, 2:00, 4:30, 7:05, 9:35 THE PEANUTS MOVIE 3D Wed-Thu 12:00, 2:30, 4:55, 7:30, 10:05 THE LAST WITCH HUNTER Wed Thu 12:25, 3:10, 6:50, 10:30 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed -Thu 12:05, 3:20 CRIMSON PEAK Wed -Thu 3:00 GOOSEBUMPS Wed-Thu 11:55, 4:50, 9:55 GOOSEBUMPS 3D Wed -Thu 2:25, 7:25 PAN Wed-Thu 11:35, 2:10, 4:45 THE MARTIAN Wed-Thu 12:10, 9:45 THE MARTIAN 3D Wed-Thu 3:35, 6:35 THE INTERN Wed -Thu 12:20 SICARIO Wed 7:20, 10:10 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 ThuFri 11:45, 12:30, 3:00, 3:45, 6:45, 7:15, 10:00, 10:30 THE NIGHT BEFORE Thu-Fri 11:30, 2:10, 4:45, 7:30, 10:15 CREED Tue 7:00, 10:10 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Tue 7:30, 10:15 THE GOOD DINOSAUR 3D Tue 7:00, 9:45 VICTOR FRANKENSTEIN Tue 7:00, 10:00
EL OBJETO ANTES LLAMADO DISCO Thu 7:00 HOLLA Fri 7:00 I AM THOR Fri 9:30 HOW GREEN WAS MY VALLEY Sat-Sun 2:00 MCQUEEN Sat 7:00 LES BLANK: HOW TO SMELL A ROSE AND EAT A SHOE Sun 7:00 THX-1138 Mon 7:30 I DRINK YOUR BLOOD Tue 7:30
Bagdad Theater
3702 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-249-7474 THE PEANUTS MOVIE Wed Thu 11:00, 1:40 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 11:45, 3:15, 7:00, 10:45
Cinema 21
616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 MERU Wed -Thu 4:00 DYING TO KNOW: RAM DASS & TIMOTHY LEARY Wed -Thu 6:00 TAXI Wed-Thu 4:30, 8:45 ANIMATION SHOW OF SHOWS Wed-Thu 4:30, 6:45 BROOKLYN Thu-Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 1:45, 2:30, 4:15, 5:15, 7:00, 8:00, 9:25 ROSENWALD Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:45, 4:00, 6:45, 9:00
Clinton Street Theater
2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 HARD TO BE A GOD Wed 7:00 THE AMAZING NINA SIMONE Thu 7:00 THE CREEPING GARDEN Fri-SatSun 7:00 THE UMBRELLAS OF CHERBOURG Fri 7:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS Mon 7:00 NEW RULES FOR END OF LIFE CARE Tue 7:00
The Joy Cinema and Pub
11959 SW Pacific Highway, 971-245-6467 INSIDE OUT 3D Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 5:00 ANTMAN 3D Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 9:00 PAN 3D Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 7:00
Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub
2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 BLACK MASS Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 9:35 MR. HOLMES Wed-ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 6:45 GOODFELLAS Wed-Thu 9:00 TRAINWRECK Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 4:00, 7:00 PHOENIX Wed-Thu 6:30 STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 8:45 JURASSIC WORLD Wed -Thu 7:10 GOODNIGHT MOMMY Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 9:15 MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL Fri-SatSun-
Mon-Tue 9:00 GRANDMA FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 7:15 MEET THE PATELS Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 6:30 INSIDE OUT Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 4:15 SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE Sat-Sun 2:00
Mission Theater and Pub
1624 NW Glisan St. THE TERMINATOR Thu 5:50, 8:30 ST. ELMO’S FIRE Sat 5:30 ST. ELMO’S FIRE 30TH ANNIVERSARY Sat-Sun 8:30
Moreland Theatre
6712 SE Milwaukie Ave., 503-236-5257 SPECTRE Wed-Thu 5:00, 8:00 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 5:30, 8:15
Mt. Hood Theatre
401 E Powell Blvd., 503-665-0604 HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA 2 Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 7:00 WAR ROOM Wed -Thu 8:45 SHAUN THE SHEEP MOVIE Wed -Thu 4:30 PAN Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 8:45 MCFARLAND, USA Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 4:00
Regal City Center Stadium 12
801 C St. THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY -- PART 1 / THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY -- PART 2 Wed 4:30 LOVE THE COOPERS Wed-Thu 12:05, 2:15, 5:55, 8:10 MY ALL AMERICAN Wed -Thu 11:35, 2:35, 6:05, 8:50 THE 33 Wed-Thu 11:25, 2:25, 5:25, 8:25 SPECTRE Wed-Thu 11:00, 12:00, 1:50, 2:40, 4:50, 5:45, 8:35, 9:00 THE PEANUTS MOVIE Wed-Thu 11:55, 2:30, 4:55, 5:30 THE PEANUTS MOVIE 3D Wed-Thu 1:30, 3:55, 6:25, 8:45 BURNT Wed -Thu 5:40 OUR BRAND IS CRISIS Wed-Thu 12:15, 3:00 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed-Thu 11:00, 2:10, 5:20 GOOSEBUMPS Wed Thu 11:15 GOOSEBUMPS 3D Wed -Thu 3:15 THE MARTIAN Wed-Thu 11:05, 2:20 THE INTERN Wed-Thu 11:50, 2:55 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 ThuFri-Sat-Sun 12:00, 3:10, 6:20, 9:30 THE NIGHT BEFORE Thu 7:00, 9:30 SECRET IN THEIR EYES Thu 8:00, 8:45
5th Avenue Cinema
510 SW Hall St., 503-725-3551 I HEART HUCKABEES FriSat-Sun 3:00
Hollywood Theatre
C O U R T E S Y O F WA R N E R B R O S .
4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 ROOM Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 6:45, 9:15 SICARIO Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 7:15, 9:40 MAVIS! Wed 7:30
Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10
846 SW Park Ave. LOVE THE COOPERS Wed Thu 12:40, 3:30, 7:00, 9:30 SPOTLIGHT Wed-Thu 12:00, 1:00, 3:00, 4:00, 6:20, 7:10, 9:20, 9:50 BURNT Wed -Thu 12:45, 3:40, 10:00 ROOM Wed-Thu 1:10, 4:20, 7:00, 9:45 SUFFRAGETTE Wed -Thu 12:30, 4:15, 6:40, 10:00 STEVE JOBS Wed-Thu 12:50, 4:30, 7:15, 9:40 EVEREST Wed -Thu 12:20, 3:20, 6:20 SICARIO Wed-Thu 12:15, 3:45, 9:10 GRANDMA Wed-Thu 12:00, 6:00 BY THE SEA Thu 8:00 THE NIGHT BEFORE Thu 7:00 SECRET IN THEIR EYES Thu 8:00
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BEER WINE PIZZA 4 SCREENS LAURELHURSTTHEATER.COM
2735 E BurnsidE st • (503-232-5511) • LaurELhurstthEatEr.com
Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6
340 SW Morrison St. THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY -- PART 1 / THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY -- PART 2 Wed 4:30 THE 33 Wed-Thu 12:30, 4:00, 7:15, 10:15 SPECTRE Wed-Thu 12:00, 1:00, 3:30, 4:30, 7:00, 8:00, 10:00 THE PEANUTS MOVIE Wed -Thu 1:15, 7:30 THE PEANUTS MOVIE 3D Wed-Thu 4:15, 10:10 CRIMSON PEAK Wed Thu 12:45, 3:40, 10:30 THE MARTIAN Wed-Thu 12:10 THE MARTIAN 3D Wed-Thu 3:20, 6:40 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 ThuFri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 12:30, 3:30, 4:00, 7:00, 7:30, 10:15, 10:45 CREED Tue 7:15, 10:30 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Tue 7:00 THE GOOD DINOSAUR 3D Tue 9:45
St. Johns Theater
8203 N Ivanhoe St., 503-249-7474-6 THE PEANUTS MOVIE Wed Thu 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:30
Living Room Theaters 341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 A BRILLIANT YOUNG MIND Wed-Thu 12:00, 2:30, 4:10, 6:30, 9:20 BRIDGE OF SPIES Wed-Thu 12:30, 2:15, 4:00, 5:00, 6:50, 7:45, 9:15, 9:40 HEIST Wed-Thu 11:50, 10:30 MISS YOU ALREADY Wed-Thu 11:45, 2:10, 4:50 THE INTERN Wed-Thu 11:45, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 WHAT OUR FATHERS DID: A NAZI LEGACY Wed-Thu 12:05, 1:50, 7:15, 9:10
SUBJECT TO CHANGE. CALL THEATERS OR VISIT WWEEK.COM/MOVIETIMES FOR THE MOST UP-TO-DATE INFORMATION FRIDAY-THURSDAY, NOV. 20-26, UNLESS OTHERWISE INDICATED
“I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT WHAT AM I?”: Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure screens at Kennedy School on Nov. 20-26.
Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The (XD) (PG-13) 12:40PM 4:00PM 7:20PM 10:40PM My All American (PG) 3:55PM 10:20PM Night Before, The (R) 10:40AM 12:00PM 1:20PM 2:40PM 4:00PM 5:20PM 6:40PM 8:00PM 9:20PM 10:40PM Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials (PG-13) 10:20AM 1:25PM 4:30PM 7:30PM 10:35PM Suffragette (PG-13) 11:10AM 1:55PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:15PM Martian, The (PG-13) 12:05PM 3:35PM 7:05PM 10:25PM Spectre (PG-13) 10:15AM 11:55AM 1:45PM 3:30PM 5:15PM 7:00PM 8:45PM 10:25PM Spotlight (R) 10:10AM 1:15PM 4:20PM 7:25PM 10:35PM Secret In Their Eyes, The (2015) (PG-13) 11:05AM 2:00PM 4:50PM 7:40PM 10:30PM Peanuts Movie, The (3D) (G) 10:15AM 12:45PM 3:15PM Peanuts Movie, The (G) 11:40AM 2:10PM 4:40PM 7:15PM 9:55PM
By The Sea (R) 10:35AM 1:35PM 4:35PM 7:35PM 10:35PM Goosebumps (PG) 11:10AM 1:50PM 4:30PM 7:10PM Bridge of Spies (PG-13) 12:30PM 7:00PM Martian, The (3D) (PG-13) 5:45PM 9:05PM 33, The (PG-13) 1:05PM 4:10PM 7:15PM 10:20PM Last Witch Hunter, The (PG-13) 10:00PM Love The Coopers (PG-13) 11:30AM 2:15PM 5:00PM 7:45PM 10:30PM Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The (PG-13) 10:10AM ® 11:50AM ® 1:30PM ® 3:10PM ® 4:50PM ® 6:30PM ® 8:10PM ® 9:50PM ® Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The (PG-13) 10:10AM 11:00AM 11:50AM 1:30PM 2:20PM 3:10PM 4:50PM 5:40PM 6:30PM 8:10PM 9:00PM9:50PM
Peanuts Movie, The (G) 11:35AM 2:15PM 4:55PM 7:30PM 10:10PM Night Before, The (R) 11:45AM 2:25PM 5:05PM 7:45PM 10:25PM Spotlight (R) 10:00AM 1:00PM 4:00PM 7:15PM 10:25PM Spectre (PG-13) 10:40AM 12:20PM 2:00PM 3:40PM 5:20PM 7:00PM 8:40PM 10:20PM Secret In Their Eyes, The (2015) (PG-13) 11:25AM 2:15PM 5:00PM 7:45PM 10:30PM Prem Ratan Dhan Payo (20th Century Fox) (NR) 11:00AM 2:30PM 6:00PM 9:30PM Love The Coopers (PG-13) 11:15AM 2:00PM 4:45PM 7:30PM 10:30PM
Bridge of Spies (PG-13) 10:00AM 1:15PM 4:00PM 7:15PM
My All American (PG) 1:55PM 7:20PM Martian, The (PG-13) 12:15PM 3:35PM 6:55PM 10:10PM Spectre (PG-13) 11:00AM 12:00PM 2:25PM 3:30PM 6:00PM 7:00PM 9:30PM 10:30PM Night Before, The (R) 11:30AM 2:15PM 5:00PM 7:40PM 10:25PM Secret In Their Eyes, The (2015) (PG-13) 11:00AM 1:50PM 4:40PM 7:30PM 10:20PM Peanuts Movie, The (G) 11:15AM 1:40PM 4:20PM 6:55PM 9:40PM Peanuts Movie, The (3D) (G) 10:00AM 12:25PM 3:00PM Love The Coopers (PG-13) 11:25AM 2:10PM 5:05PM 7:50PM 10:30PM Crimson Peak (R) 1:15PM 4:10PM 7:10PM 10:15PM
33, The (PG-13) 12:45PM 4:00PM 7:05PM 10:05PM
10:30PM 33, The (PG-13) 10:00AM 1:00PM 4:00PM 7:00PM 10:00PM Martian, The (PG-13) 11:55AM 3:40PM 7:05PM 10:30PM Kumari 21F (NR) 9:00PM Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The (PG-13) 10:00AM 10:50AM 11:40AM 12:30PM 1:10PM 2:00PM 2:50PM 3:40PM 4:20PM 5:10PM 6:00PM 6:50PM 7:30PM 8:20PM 9:10PM 10:00PM 10:40PM Goosebumps (PG) 11:35AM 2:15PM 4:50PM
Martian, The (3D) (PG-13) 5:30PM 9:00PM Goosebumps (PG) 11:05AM 4:45PM 10:10PM Last Witch Hunter, The (PG-13) 11:35AM 2:20PM 5:00PM 7:45PM 10:25PM Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2, The (PG-13) 10:00AM 11:10AM 12:20PM 1:20PM 2:30PM 3:40PM 4:40PM 5:50PM 7:00PM 8:00PM 9:10PM 10:20PM Hotel Transylvania 2 (PG) 11:20AM 1:45PM 4:15PM 6:50PM 9:15PM
FRIDAY Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
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END ROLL
6814 NE Glisan St., Portland, OR 97213 Call to preorder and pick up at the window with cash and a valid ID
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Brian Marki Framing 2 for 1 Readymade Frames $25
Luxury 8 x 10 frames from Italy Choose from our extensive stock Perfect for gifts 2236 NE Broadway St—In the historic Irvington District brianmarkifineart.com • 503-249-5659
The Xanax of Weed Depending on who you talk to, there’s a strain of cannabis roughly analogous to any street drug or pharmaceutical. Those effects are caused by a cocktail of 85 compounds called cannabinoids, the best understood of which is THC, a psychoactive substance that makes you high. But the opening of the recreational market means more people have access to other strains that growers have toyed with, including a handful of strains low in THC and high in the cannabinoid CBD, which gives you that body-relaxing, mind-clearing feeling and is often used to treat seizures. In other words, they’re basically the Xanax of weed. We got six strains of high-CBD, low-THC cannabis, all of which cost between $10 and $12 a gram. Percentages have been rounded and can change from dispensary to dispensary. Also, high-CBD strains aren’t always available, so check the menu before you go.
HARLEQUIN
6% THC, 11% CBD Purchased from Collective Awakenings, 2823 NE Sandy Blvd., 206-7090, collectiveawakenings.com. Feels like: Valium and a glass of Champagne This strain was a little high in THC to try during work hours, so I brought it home. For me, Harlequin will definitely end up being a relaxthe-day-is-over strain; the head high is stronger than anything else we tried, and the body high makes me want to melt into my couch for an hour or two and play Candy Crush while Law & Order: SVU hums in the background. But in a good way, you know?
CHARLOTTE’S WEB
2% THC, 24% CBD Purchased from Jayne, 2145 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 719-5665, jaynepdx.com. Feels like: Valium According to Leafly, Charlotte’s Web was originally cultivated in Colorado for a young epileptic patient named Charlotte. This was my favorite of all the strains we tried. It was a little higher in THC than the most mellow strains, so I could feel it in my knees and behind my eyes, but it never made me feel outright high. The flavor was also better than the other strains: One co-worker said it was “pleasantly refreshing like some flavor of gum they don’t make but should.” It made us all loose and happy, but no one died of giggle fits or couldn’t continue working. Still, after smoking this I sent out an email to more than 4,000 people with the subject line “tk.” So definitely smoke (or better, vape) this one, but wait awhile before you operate heavy machinery. 60
Willamette Week NOVEMBER 18, 2015 wweek.com
HARLE-TSU
1% THC, 16% CBD Purchased from Oregon’s Finest, 1327 NW Kearney St., 971-254-4765, ofmeds.com. Feels like: Xanax Harle-Tsu tastes better than the strains with less than 1 percent THC and is less harsh to inhale. All the high-CBD strains felt to me like a gentle ennui eraser, but Harle-Tsu hit the Xanax sweet spot, without being a potentially addictive pharmaceutical that turns you into a robot: All worry was gone, and my body relaxed. While I wouldn’t really recommend smoking weed at work if it isn’t for a very important controlled experiment, this one would probably be OK.
SHARK SHOCK
6% THC, 10% CBD Purchased from Urban Farmacy, 420 NE 60th Ave., 957-7832, urbanfarmacyprc.com. Feels like: A glass of Champagne Shark Shock was also too high in THC for work, so I brought this one over to a friend’s house in the evening. Its effects were immediate: Someone did one funny voice, and we couldn’t stop laughing, and then we went directly to Taco Bell and ordered combo meals. It was a nice mellow, social high. Not face-down-onthe-floor high but definitely the most we-just-smoked-weed feeling I got off of any of the strains I tried.
CANNA TSU
1% THC, 17% CBD Purchased from Attis Trading Company, 4920 NE Cully Blvd., 477-8981, attistrading.com. Feels like: A strong cup of herbal tea and a heating pad for your neck Canna Tsu is for the person who really would rather be in a hot bathtub. It has a nice body feeling, and you can smoke it and be assured your head will stay screwed on straight. It is a little harsh to smoke and doesn’t taste great, but it’s better on both of those fronts than Oracle.
ORACLE
1% THC, 15% CBD Purchased from TK. Feels like: A strong cup of herbal tea This is the first high-CBD strain we encountered and the one we use to test vaporizers in the office. The effects are very minimal, a very subtle relaxation. It’s harsh and doesn’t taste great, but it’s mainly for people suffering from seizures, so on that front, it probably does its job. LIZZY ACKER.
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BULLETIN BOARD WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE
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1422 SW 11th Avenue, Portland, 97201 Tickets at www.kalakendra.org Adults: $20 ($25 at door) Children (3-12 yrs): $10 ($12.50 at door), Students (with ID): $15 Admission is FREE for 2015-16 Friends of Kalakendra and Members Kalakendra Limited E-mail: info@kalakendra.org Phone: 503-308-1050
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Across 1 Comedian dubbed “The Entertainer” 7 Label in a folder 15 Singer Grande 16 Better than usual 17 Meter reader of sorts 18 Makeover, perhaps 19 Houdini, notably 21 Hall & Oates, e.g. 22 Dodeca-, quartered 23 “In ___ of flowers ...” 27 “Ugly Betty”
actor Michael 29 They go through a slicer 34 Bike turners 37 Lucy Lawless TV role 38 Apprehend, as a criminal 39 Jupiter and Mars, among others 42 Great respect 45 “___ Your Enthusiasm” 46 Required 50 Show sadness 53 Work with a meter
54 “Twin Peaks” actor MacLachlan 55 Easter candy shape 58 Body scan, for short 59 Pie feature, or feature of this puzzle’s other four longest answers 65 Estate 68 More conceited 69 Tableware 70 Make public 71 Artists’ boards 72 Riata loops
Down 1 Confined 2 “A Little Respect” band 3 Round and flat in shape 4 “Rendezvous With ___” (Arthur C. Clarke book) 5 Hardly fitting 6 Certain chairmaker 7 “M*A*S*H” actor Jamie 8 “Like that’ll ever happen” 9 California city in a Creedence song 10 Two important ones are a week apart in December 11 Big name in chocolate 12 Bee-related prefix 13 Off-the-rack purchase, for short? 14 Suffix for north or south 20 Give help to 24 McKellen of the “Hobbit” films 25 Frat house H 26 Connector for a smart device 28 It may be pulled in charades 30 Adjective for Lamar Odom in recent headlines 31 Travel division 32 Privy to 33 Created 35 “Livin’ La Vida ___” (1999 hit)
36 Adult material 40 “We ___ Queen Victoria” 41 Aug. follower 42 Beseech 43 Word often seen near 42-Down 44 “Slippery” fish 47 Pizza Hut competitor 48 Mountain dog breed 49 Asylum seekers 51 Practice lexicography 52 Boxing arbiter 56 Like first names 57 ___SmithKline 60 Lie down for a while 61 “SVU” part 62 Running in neutral 63 Cold War news agency 64 Cosmetic surgery, briefly 65 Drill sergeant’s “one” 66 ___ moment’s notice 67 “Dumbo” frame
last week’s answers
©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ754.
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Week of November 19
ARIES (March 21-April 19): Urbandictionary.com defines the English word “balter” as follows: “to dance without particular skill or grace, but with extreme joy.” It’s related to the Danish term baltre, which means “to romp, tumble, roll, cavort.” I nominate this activity to be one of your ruling metaphors in the coming weeks. You have a mandate to explore the frontiers of amusement and bliss, but you have no mandate to be polite and polished as you do it. To generate optimal levels of righteous fun, your experiments may have to be more than a bit rowdy. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): You’ve arrived at a crossroads. From here, you could travel in one of four directions, including back towards where you came from. You shouldn’t stay here indefinitely, but on the other hand you’ll be wise to pause and linger for a while. Steep yourself in the mystery of the transition that looms. Pay special attention to the feelings that rise up as you visualize the experiences that may await you along each path. Are there any holy memories you can call on for guidance? Are you receptive to the tricky inspiration of the fertility spirits that are gathered here? Here’s your motto: Trust, but verify. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): English model and TV personality Katie Price has been on the planet for just 37 years, but has already written four autobiographies. You Only Live Once, for instance, covers the action-packed time between 2008 and 2010, when she got divorced and then remarried in a romantic Las Vegas ceremony. I propose that we choose this talkative, self-revealing Gemini to be your spirit animal and role model. In the coming weeks, you should go almost to extremes as you express the truth about who you have been, who you are, and who you will become. CANCER (June 21-July 22): A flyer on a telephone pole caught my eye. It showed a photo of a nine-yearold male cat named Bubby, whose face was contorted in pain. A message from Bubby’s owner revealed that her beloved pet desperately needed expensive dental work. She had launched a campaign at gofundme.com to raise the cash. Of course I broke into tears, as I often do when confronted so viscerally with the suffering of sentient creatures. I longed to donate to Bubby’s well-being. But I thought, “Shouldn’t I funnel my limited funds to a bigger cause, like the World Wildlife Fund?” Back home an hour later, I sent $25 to Bubby. After analyzing the astrological omens for my own sign, Cancer the Crab, I realized that now is a time to adhere to the principle “Think globally, act locally” in every way imaginable. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): How well do you treat yourself? What do you do to ensure that you receive a steady flow of the nurturing you need? According to my reading of the astrological omens, you are now primed to expand and intensify your approach to selfcare. If you’re alert to the possibilities, you will learn an array of new life-enhancing strategies. Here are two ideas to get you started: 1. Imagine at least three acts of practical love you can bestow on yourself. 2. Give yourself three gifts that will promote your healing and stimulate your pleasure. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): To activate your full potential in the coming weeks, you don’t need to scuba-dive into an underwater canyon or spelunk into the pitch blackness of a remote cave or head out on an archaeological dig to uncover the lost artifacts of an ancient civilization. But I recommend that you consider trying the metaphorical equivalent of those activities. Explore the recesses of your own psyche, as well as those of the people you love. Ponder the riddles of the past and rummage around for lost treasure and hidden truths. Penetrate to the core, the gist, the roots. The abyss is much friendlier than usual! You have a talent for delving deep into any mystery that will be important for your future. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Normally I charge $270-anhour for the kind of advice I’m about to offer, but I’m giving it to you at no cost. For now, at least, I think you should refrain from relying on experts. Be skeptical of professional opinions and highly paid authorities. The useful information you need will come your way via chance encounters, playful explorations, and gossipy spies. Folk wisdom and street smarts will provide bet-
ter guidance than elite consultants. Trust curious amateurs; avoid somber careerists. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Some athletes think it’s unwise to have sex before a big game. They believe it diminishes the raw physical power they need to excel. For them, abstinence is crucial for victory. But scientific studies contradict this theory. There’s evidence that boinking increases testosterone levels for both men and women. Martial artist Ronda Rousey subscribes to this view. She says she has “as much sex as possible” before a match. Her approach must be working. She has won all but one of her professional fights, and *Sports Illustrated* calls her “the world’s most dominant athlete.” As you approach your equivalent of the “big game,” Scorpio, I suggest you consider Rousey’s strategy. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): If you were embarking on a 100-mile hike, would you wear new boots that you purchased the day before your trip? Of course not. They wouldn’t be broken in. They’d be so stiff and unyielding that your feet would soon be in agony. Instead, you would anchor your trek with supple footwear that had already adjusted to the idiosyncrasies of your gait and anatomy. Apply a similar principle as you prepare to launch a different long-term exploit. Make yourself as comfortable as possible CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Here’s how Mark Twain’s novel The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn begins: “Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.” The preface I’d write for your upcoming adventures would be less extreme, but might have a similar tone. That’s because I expect you to do a lot of meandering. At times your life may seem like a shaggy dog story with no punch line in sight. Your best strategy will be to cultivate an amused patience; to stay relaxed and unflappable as you navigate your way through the enigmas, and not demand easy answers or simple lessons. If you take that approach, intricate answers and many-faceted lessons will eventually arrive. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): The Confederation of African Football prohibits the use of magic by professional soccer teams. Witch doctors are forbidden to be on the field during a match, and they are not supposed to spray elixirs on the goals or bury consecrated talismans beneath the turf. But most teams work around the ban. Magic is viewed as an essential ingredient in developing a winning tradition. Given the current astrological omens, I invite you to experiment with your own personal equivalent of this approach. Don’t scrimp on logical analysis, of course. Don’t stint on your preparation and discipline. But also be mischievously wise enough to call on the help of some crafty mojo. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Slavery is illegal everywhere in the world. And yet there are more slaves now than at any other time in history: at least 29 million. A disproportionate percentage of them are women and children. After studying your astrological omens, I feel you are in a phase when you can bestow blessings on yourself by responding to this predicament. How? First, express gratitude for all the freedoms you have. Second, vow to take full advantage of those freedoms. Third, brainstorm about how to liberate any part of you that acts or thinks or feels like a slave. Fourth, lend your energy to an organization that helps free slaves. Start here: http://bit.ly/liberateslaves.
Homework Take a guess about what your closest ally most needs to learn in order to be happier. FreeWillAstrology.com
check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes
freewillastrology.com
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at
1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700
The
e eek Stor W e t t e Willam
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