42 20 willamette week, march 16, 2016 by Willamette Week Newspaper

WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“HE WAS A ROCK STAR OF THE HIGHEST CALIBER.”

IT’S TIME TO RESCUE 911. P. 9

THE CASE AGAINST BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. P. 23

P. 31

It’s a Boy! BY N IG EL JAQ UISS

WWEEK.COM

VOL 42/20 3. 16. 2016

JORDAN SCHNITZER WANTED A SON. THANKS TO SCIENCE AND MONEY, HE GOT ONE—AND A COURT BATTLE. PAGE 12

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

RICK VODICKA

FINDINGS

PAGE 23

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 42, ISSUE 20.

Mayoral candidate Jules Bailey doesn’t know if he wants cops who kill people to have 48 hours before they have to answer questions. 7 Embattled Bullseye Glass sent radioactive waste to a local recycling plant. 11 Very, very rich men take first dates to the Portland Brewing tasting room. 12 Pabst has earned a second blue ribbon, this one from us, and for its alcoholic root beer. 24

ON THE COVER:

A legendary Portland punk drummer met his girlfriend at Virginia Cafe. 31 The people who love Bruce Springsteen won’t let it go. 37 Very, very rich men sometimes welch on their oﬀer to purchase a pub for loyal customers. 41 Oh, cool, that Los Angeles comedian who did The People’s Republic of Portland is coming to Powell’s. 46

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

The cover model is actually a girl! Isla by Julie Showers.

You can be successfully sued for posting public records to Facebook.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EDITORIAL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Madeline Luce Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Web Editor Lizzy Acker Books James Helmsworth

Visual Arts Enid Spitz Editorial Interns Peter D’Auria, Karina Buggy, Sophia June, Jenna Mulligan CONTRIBUTORS Mike Acker, Dave Cantor, Nathan Carson, Alex Falcone, Shannon Gormley, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Mark Stock PRODUCTION Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Julie Showers Special Sections Art Director Alyssa Walker Graphic Designers Rick Vodicka, Xel Moore Production Interns Gerardo Getzair de Osio, Gabriella McKenzie, Skylar Nguyen

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference.

Willamette Week is published weekly by

Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law.

Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115

City of Roses Newspaper Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Iris Meyers Display Account Executives Michael Donhowe, Kevin Friedman, Bruce Greif, Rich Hunter, Kyle Owens, Matt Plambeck, Sharri Regan Classifieds Account Executive Matt Plambeck Advertising Coordinator Alie Kilts COMMUNITY OUTREACH Marketing & Events Manager Steph Barnhart Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson

DISTRIBUTION Circulation Director Mark Kirchmeier WWEEK.COM Web Production Brian Panganiban OPERATIONS Accounting Manager Chris Petryszak Credit Manager Shawn Wolf AR/Credit Assistant Kristina Woodard Accounting Assistant Tristan Burman Associate Publisher Jane Smith

MUSICFESTNW Operations Director Matt Manza General Manager Jane Smith

Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Mark Kirchmeier at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available.

Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates. Association of Alternative Newsmedia. This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

GIRL SCOUTS TAKE OFFENSE

Thousands of police departments in the I am writing to express my disappointment with an U.S. publish the same type of information on article entitled “Make New Friends, But Keep the their official websites. It’s a public service to Old: In the Land of the Stoner, Girl Scout Cookie everyone, including potential victims. Phil Season Is High Holy Days,” [WW, Hutchinson deserves praise, not punishment. March 9, 2016]. While the topic would —David Rice not have been our choice, I respect your right to publish it. Here we have a man who made Where I feel the article crossed the decision to call another male’s the line is with its portrayal of Girl behavior out in public, and the Scouts in the associated artwork. person who is ultimately harmed This depiction is an inaccurate and irresponsible portrayal. It is disreis the man standing up for womspectful of the time and effort girls en’s freedom from sexual harassment. and volunteers put into the Girl For ever and a day, women have Scout Cookie Program and their “The image of had to prove they were assaulted, entire Girl Scout experience. The image of a high Girl Scout leader is a high Girl abused, harassed or raped. Now in direct contradiction to the com- Scout leader is men cannot speak about the poor behavior of other males too? This mitment to safety that our organi- in direct is rape culture. zation and our more than 10,000 contradiction —Jillian Marie Szilagyi volunteers have made. to the The cookie program is an iconic leadership and entrepreneurial commitment to BEST NEW BAND POLL program instilling five key skills: safety that our This is a good list [“Best New goal-setting, decision-making, organization Band,” WW, March 16, 2016]. money management, people skills has made.” Hopefully it will silence those and business ethics. Girl Scouts who wrongly cried sexism about work incredibly hard during cookie last year’s list. season—setting goals and stretching themselves. —“Mytulpa” This program is how they fund their activities. Girl Scouts also give back to their communities CORRECTION with the proceeds. Due to an editor’s error, last week’s story on the I am hopeful that future depictions will carry sale of apartment buildings (“Give Till It Hurts,” more respect for the young women and volun- WW, March 9, 2015) incorrectly stated the new teers at the heart of our organization, and for the cost of utility fees at Douglas Square apartment complex. Rent and utilities on a two-bedroom century-old tradition of Girl Scouting. apartment are going up 10 percent to $875 a Karen Hill, chief executive officer month, not $845. WW regrets the error. Girls Scouts of Oregon and Southwest Washington

FACEBOOK COURT RULING

This is an outrageous act of asinine stupidity [“The Dislike Button,” WW, March 9, 2016]. Warning people of dangerous sociopaths is suddenly punishable because the sociopath might feel “emotional distress”?

Given all the ongoing weirdness of the 2016 election, is there any chance that late-voting Oregon might actually have some say in who the presidential nominees are this year? —Matt P.

Oregon doesn’t get much presidential-candidate love. Generalelection candidates figure we’d go for anything with a pulse and a “D” next to its name (and the pulse is negotiable). Primary candidates ignore us because nominees are usually locked in before we vote in May. Could this year be different? Well, the Democrats have two candidates, neither of whom is dangerously psychotic, so their race will probably be like all the others: effectively over before our May 17 primary. On the GOP side, though…well, it’s funny how throwing an Antichrist-like billionaire into the mix can screw up people’s plans. (It must be particularly galling for Ted Cruz, who actually is the 4

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for veriﬁcation. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

Antichrist, but is getting zero props for it.) At this point, Republican elites are just hoping to deny Donald Trump an outright majority of delegates. Then their convention would be free to nominate someone more popular, like Jeffrey Dahmer or Steve Bartman. If current trends hold, the Trump train will steam into Oregon with about 93 percent of that delegate lock. The Orange One needs us! If he picks up the pace a bit between now and then, we (or more precisely, our redneck uncles) could even be the ones who put him over the top. If you want to get in on/try to prevent this, you’ll need to register by April 26 as a member of the party you want to crash. Do it online at SOS MyVote Oregon. Finally, if you’re looking for someone to blame for all this, check the mirror: Oregon was the first state to institute a binding presidential primary election, in 1910. This was during the Progressive Era, when people were paying enough attention that letting them vote on stuff seemed like a good idea. C’était le bon temps.

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

St. Patrick’s Day Party

Open at 2pm No cover

Irish music food and drink specials. Jell-O shots, specials on Irish whisky, Black and Tans, Traditional Irish food: corn beef and cabbage, green eggs and Irish stew. 2900 SE BELMONT St. Portland Oregon 503-719-7128

MURMURS State Rejects Signatures for Mannix Measure

Bad news for Kevin Mannix, the former Republican candidate for Oregon attorney general and governor and prolific ballot-measure author. Last week, elections officials notified Mannix that his group, Common Sense for Oregon, had been improperly gathering signatures for a proposed ballot measure for nearly a year. Mannix hopes to gather nearly 118,000 signatures to amend the Oregon Constitution with a measure that would allow the tax-free transfer of assets between generations— abolishing what’s sometimes called the “death tax.” But elections director Jim Williams told Mannix that Common Sense for Oregon had failed to get necessary approval for the signature sheets it was circulating. That violation proved costly—Mannix says he’ll lose “many hundreds” of signatures. He says the elections decision was fair but adds that legislators have written “ludicrous laws,” making initiative work a minefield.

Portland Kids Will Boost Numbers in Burnt River

Tucked into a budget bill passed earlier this month by the Oregon Legislature was a $260,000 allocation for an unusual program that will send Portland high school students to the desert. A semester in the country will soon be available in the Burnt River School District,

located in the Eastern Oregon town of Unity. The rural district is trying to expand its oﬀerings for its small group of students— there are only 33 in the district— by drawing students from Portland and elsewhere. State education funding follows students, but the district will need the extra $260,000 to house the city kids. The program will focus on “natural resource studies, agricultural experience, water quality monitoring, animal husbandry, sustainable range6

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

land science, forest restoration, and organic food production,” according to a budget summary.

Trump Hands Under Federal Scrutiny

The Federal Election Commission has demanded a change of name for the Portland-based political action committee formerly known as “Trump

TRUMP Has Tiny Hands PAC.” Portland political organizer Henry Kraemer registered the PAC with the FEC on March 7. But the feds took issue with the title because it uses Donald Trump’s name without his approval. Kraemer, an organizer with voter-registration group the Bus Federation, tells WW he will comply but is undaunted. “Did Donald Trump pray for this day with his little baby hands?” Kraemer says. “Absolutely. Will it stop us? No! We are now Americans Against Insecure Billionaires With Tiny Hands.”

Peter Courtney Recall Effort Intensifies

The effort to recall the state’s longest-serving and most powerful legislator has moved beyond griping into a genuine threat—with the formation this week of a political action committee and a first contribution of $5,000. Senate President Peter Courtney (D-Salem), 72, who first won a legislative seat in 1980, faces criticism over the short legislative session that finished earlier this month. Critics blame Courtney for allowing the short session to morph from a low-key, housekeeping exercise to one that featured ambitious, complex legislation—which, with large Democratic majorities, means major setbacks for Republicans. On March 14, Andrew Miller, CEO of Stimson Lumber and a leading GOP donor, wrote a $5,000 personal check to the recall effort.

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

Known Unknowns

Do you support striking the 48-hour rule from Portland’s contract with its police union? A provision in the Portland Police Association’s contract gives officers who use deadly force 48 hours before they have to answer investigators’ questions. The 48-hour rule has been a focus of Portland activists for years, as WW wrote in a January cover story about the 2016 election. Portland is unique in offering police this protection; other police departments have eliminated it already. Meanwhile, activists say the 48-hour period gives police officers the opportunity to collude with others to protect themselves from punishment. (Police officers say the use of deadly force can traumatize officers and they need time to recover before answering questions.) Last week, WW asked the three leading candidates for Portland mayor whether they would ditch the 48-hour rule. BETH SLOVIC.

Ted Wheeler, Oregon treasurer: Yes. “I would work hard to eliminate the 48-hour time period.” Jules Bailey, Multnomah County commissioner: Not yet. “Portland police officers are held to an incredibly high standard, especially during deadly-force investigations. We have robust involvement by outside agencies, such as the Multnomah County District Attorney’s Office, and robust community dialogue about these events. The Police Bureau also uses communication restriction orders, which prohibit officers from communicating with one another during the investigation. I will strive to bring Portland residents the highest degree of accuracy and accountability when it comes to these investigations. Both the community and the officers deserve full and fair investigations.” Sarah Iannarone, Portland State University program administrator: Yes. “As police commissioner, my focus must be on strengthening trust between Portland’s police and communities. My stance on this issue is unequivocal. I will do everything in my power to negotiate the removal of the 48-hour rule from the police union’s contract.”

The news traveling across wire services and Twitter feeds March 13 was bizarre and alarming: Bomb-sniffing dogs had found two AGM-114 Hellfire missiles with explosive warheads on a passenger jet in Serbia. The missiles, made by Lockheed Martin, were shipped from Beirut, Lebanon, and packed inside a coffin. Destination? Portland, Ore. Little of that report now appears to be true. The missiles were by all accounts Hellfire models, found on an Air Serbia jet in Belgrade. They were sent from Lebanon in cargo, and found by dogs. But all other facts have been muddied in translation and conflicting reports. Here’s what we know we don’t know. JENNA MULLIGAN.

1. The missiles weren’t being shipped to Portland, Ore. They were headed for Portland, Maine, via London. “The reports that the items were headed to Oregon are incorrect,” says Beth Ann Steele, spokeswoman for the FBI’s Portland, Ore., office. This is hardly the first time somebody mixed up the two Portlands— but it’s unclear who made the mistake: Serbian airport security, Serbian cable television, or American media translating the Belgrade reports.

The missiles weren’t made by Lockheed Martin. Instead, they were manufactured by the private company Orbital ATK, which has no offices in the Pacific Northwest. Orbital’s main production occurs in Rocket Center, W.Va. Orbital ATK and the U.S. Department of Defense have been working together for a year on a project to supply the Lebanese air force with unarmed versions of AGM-114 Hellfire missiles for training exercises.

The missiles were not armed. The Lebanese and U.S. governments say the Hellfires were “dummies”—missiles without explosive warheads. “I can absolutely assure you these are not explosive,” says David McKeeby, public affairs specialist at the U.S. Department of State. “The fact of the matter is that they’re not really missiles, only training devices. There is no warhead, no fuse, no rocket. It’s like throwing a chair as a weapon.”

ON THE CLOCK

THE BLACK LIVES MATTER INVESTIGATION On March 16, it will be 127 days since the Urban League of Portland went public with allegations that an Oregon Department of Justice agent used law enforcement software to track the agency’s own civil rights chief, Erious Johnson, and his use of the hashtag #BlackLivesMatter on social media. Attorney General Ellen Rosenblum announced Nov. 10 that the DOJ had hired an outside lawyer to investigate. Justice officials told WW in mid-January the report would be complete by Feb. 1. Here’s how the length of the investigation compares to other time spans. NIGEL JAQUISS.

SHOOTING SCHEDULE FOR THE REVENANT

days

TIME CHERYL STRAYED SPENT HIKING THE PACIFIC CREST TRAIL IN WILD

days

AN NFL REGULAR SEASON

THE LIFESPAN OF A DRAGONFLY

115

120

days

THE LENGTH OF AN INVESTIGATION INTO DOJ SURVEILLANCE OF BLACK LIVES MATTER

127 days

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

W W S TA F F

ONE QUESTION

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

NEWS W W S TA F F

“STAFFING LEVELS ARE STARTING TO GET DESPERATE. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE CALL AND COME HELP.”

Call Waiting PORTLAND’S 911 SYSTEM IS OVERLOADED AND UNDERSTAFFED. THE RESULT? DANGEROUSLY LONG HOLD TIMES. BY BE T H S LOV I C

bslovic@wweek.com

Dennis Elleson heard a crash, then his wife’s screams. It was around 3:30 am Dec. 9 when a fir tree smashed through the roof of his home in the Lents neighborhood, pinning his wife, Bobbi, to a bed. Elleson, 61, scrambled to get his wife some air. But his efforts were futile. “I watched her leg fall,” he says, “and then she took her last breath.” Elleson called 911. Then he waited. In Portland’s emergency dispatch center, a five-minute drive away, operators were slammed. Heavy winds brought a flurry of emergency calls to the center. Downed power lines. Traffic accidents. Sounding alarms. A reader board showed more incoming calls than people to answer them. In all, Elleson waited more than two minutes and probably close to four for an operator to answer his call—a wait that amounts to eons for emergency responders. The city has not released data on the call’s length, but three emergency operators tell WW that Elleson was on hold for more than two minutes. A quicker response time would not have saved Bobbi Elleson: It eventually took firefighters three hours to extract her body from under the tree. But her husband’s experience on hold is one of several warning signs that Portland’s 911 system faces its own emergency: Its dispatch desk is receiving more calls each year, but has far fewer people answering the phones than it did five years ago. If call volumes hold, Portland is on track this year to see a nearly 60 percent increase in the number of calls on hold for longer than two minutes. The inability of Portland’s 911 system to keep up with demand has been largely ignored this election year, overshadowed by more visible issues like homelessness, police

accountability and transportation. Yet even the Portland official who oversees the system concedes its backlog is putting lives at risk. “We’re heading,” says City Commissioner Steve Novick, “into dangerous territory.” There’s never been a worse time in Portland to depend on 911. Portland’s Bureau of Emergency Communications answers police, fire and medical calls for multiple agencies in Multnomah County, and calls have jumped in the past five years, increasing 18 percent since 2011 thanks to cellphone and population growth. A car crash that used to generate two or three calls now sparks 25. Over the same period, the number of call takers and dispatchers has declined by 23 percent. That shortfall comes even as funding has increased. It points to a failure by emergency managers to respond to increased demand by training new operators. The city is not training enough new employees to keep up with turnover in a job that burns out workers. To meet demand, Portland uses a system of forced overtime for operators who already work 10-hour days, regularly extending their workdays to 12 hours. The shortnotice overtime orders—SNOT for short—are stretching employees to the breaking point, interviews with six current and former employees show. Yet the orders arrive almost daily. “Staffing levels are starting to get desperate,” one such email from March 5 reads. “Please Please Please call and come help.” Workers who refuse overtime are threatened with discipline or termination, under the terms of their union contract. “That’s always the dagger they dangle in front of us,” says Lisa Vincenty, a 22-year veteran. Others say the workplace atmosphere has turned toxic. “I’m well-trained,” says one operator who asked not to

be identified for fear of retaliation. “I love the job. I want to stay. We’re just suffering so much.” On the surface, many of the bureau’s statistics look good. About 96 percent of emergency calls are answered in 20 seconds or less. Ninety-nine percent of calls are answered within 60 seconds. But as call volumes have increased, so have the number of calls holding for more than two minutes. In 2008, Portland reported 31 calls that waited for answers for over two minutes. In 2015, the city had 423 of those calls—a 13-fold increase that Novick, who took over the bureau in 2013, says he can’t ignore. He calls the increase “disturbing.” The system, he says, is stretched to the breaking point. “And we can’t afford to have it break,” he says. So how did it get this way? Funding is not an obvious factor. The budget for Portland’s emergency communications bureau grew from $14.6 million in 2005-06 to $23.7 million in 2011-12, increasing an average of $1.5 million per year. This year, the bureau’s budget is $24.7 million, an increase of $250,000 per year in the past four years. Meanwhile, Multnomah County’s population has grown by more than 12 percent over the same period, jumping to 777,490 as of July. Lisa Turley, the bureau’s director since 2006, says she has not been able to add staff in most budget cycles. “If I can hold my budget harmless,” she says, “I figure that’s a win.” But employees say managers, including Novick, have made the problem worse by failing to plan ahead for employee turnover in a job with a steep learning curve. It takes up to two years to train and certify a dispatcher, CONT. on page 10 Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

NEWS

Movie Times P.51

who must pass a battery of tests but doesn’t need a college degree to earn a starting salary of $21 an hour. Dispatchers need to type fast, demonstrate sound judgment and keep their emotions in check even as adrenaline pumps through their veins. “It’s not a job everyone can do,” says another employee who requested anonymity. “You could actually kill someone.” Retirements and burnout have depleted the ranks. Nineteen employees left the bureau in 2013 alone, city records show. And the bureau has yet to catch up. Meanwhile, not everyone making it through the city’s lengthy training program is sticking around. Seven of 12 new hires in 2014 resigned the same year. Today, city records show the bureau has 81 certified operators, although it should have 107. Portland spent nearly $600,000 on overtime last year. That would be enough to hire six or seven operators. A 2002 audit recommended the bureau set goals for hiring, training and retaining sufficient staff, but a 2013 update of that report showed the bureau hadn’t done so. “The short staffing up there is not getting any better,” says Steve Phebus, an operator who retired in December. “In fact, it’s getting worse. They’ve seen it coming for 10 years, and they’ve done nothing.”

Total Calls to 911 vs. Certiﬁed Operators Total Calls Including Non-Emergency

Certified Operators

874,765 105

825,250

772,546 744,655

2011-2012

2012-2013

81 W W S TA F F

742,844

2013-2014

2014-2015

2015-2016 (Estimated)

SOURCE: PORTLAND BUDGET OFFICE

Other factors contribute to the problem. Operators also answer calls to Portland’s non-emergency number, 503-823-3333, but wait times there are even longer—sometimes 10 to 12 minutes. Frustrated callers will sometimes hang up, call 911, then complain the non-emergency number is broken. (Dispatchers say many of those 911 calls deal with the homeless population— records show about 2,000 such calls per month—and Mayor Charlie Hales’ efforts to loosen camping rules have exacerbated the trend. Police typically won’t respond to calls complaining about people sleeping on the street, so dispatchers have to endure callers’ angry tirades.) Novick blames funding and says he’s going to fight for more money for the bureau in this year’s budget, despite Mayor Hales’ call for 5 percent cuts in all bureaus so he can shift money to housing. Hales declined through a spokeswoman to be interviewed. Sara Hottman, his spokeswoman, says the mayor still wants bureaus to propose cuts “as an exercise in budget management,” adding that he won’t necessarily implement those cuts. It will be up to Portland’s next mayor to address the shortcomings—and the three leading candidates all say Portland needs a fix. “Anything that gets to frontline public safety needs to be a top priority,” says Oregon Treasurer Ted Wheeler. Sarah Iannarone, a program administrator at Portland State University, says the city should incorporate a 311 system to address non-emergency questions more efficiently. Jules Bailey, a Multnomah County commissioner, says 911 is a core government service. “People need to be safe,” he says, “and we need people to get a 911 operator when they call 911.” For Dennis Elleson, whose wife died in the December storm, change will come too late. In his moment of trauma, Elleson says he doesn’t remember being on hold. But help could have come sooner. Once he reached an operator, he heard sirens from a nearby fire station in Lents within seconds, he says. 10

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

adam wickham

Traffic jammed? Try an E-bike. The fit, clean and FUN way to get from here to there.

FACTORY TOWN: Bullseye Glass Co. in Southeast Portland’s Brooklyn neighborhood faces scrutiny and a lawsuit for its heavy-metals emissions. The company was also sued in 2014 for how it disposed of radioactive waste.

Glowing Reviews

COURT RECORDS SHOWS BULLSEYE GLASS VIOLATED STATE RULES WHEN DISPOSING OF RADIOACTIVE WASTE. By PE T E R D ’AUR I A

243-2122

Bullseye Glass Co. was ordered to pay $6,734 for improperly disposing of radioactive waste two years ago, court records show. Bullseye sent a waste shipment that included refractory, a radioactive substance used in glass manufacturing, to a Northwest Portland industrial recycling plant—a violation of state rules. The waste posed little threat to human health. But a recording of a hearing in that case casts new light on the Southeast Portland glass factory and its approach to compliance with environmental rules. In the six weeks since The Portland Mercury first reported moss samples showed high levels of heavy metals in the air around Bullseye, the factory in the Brooklyn neighborhood has been the object of scrutiny, as have the state regulators who failed to monitor the company’s emissions. In the face of a federal class action lawsuit filed on behalf of neighbors of the factory, Bullseye has maintained it always followed the pollution laws set by the Oregon Department of Environmental Quality and other agencies. “We will continue to honor our previous commitments to go above and beyond what is required by Oregon law,” the company said in a March 9 statement. But the 2014 case shows Bullseye either didn’t know the laws pertaining to the disposal of radioactive material—or didn’t care. On Oct. 1, 2013, Bullseye sent a load of waste containing refractory to Greenway Recycling at 4135 NW St. Helens Road. Terrell Garrett, co-owner of Greenway Recycling, sent the material he’d received from Bullseye to a Northeast Portland scrap-metal facility called Metro Metals. But a few days later, Metro Metals sent the shipment back to Greenway because the load triggered its radiation detectors. “This is scary crap,” Garrett tells WW. “We had to dump it on the ground to figure out what the hell was going on.”

The material poses a minimal health threat, says Daryl Leon, a radiation health physicist at the Oregon Health Authority. “There’s no issue [with] somebody going up next to this pile of brick, putting their hand on it,” Leon says. “If you take these bricks and crush them up into a powder and inhale it, then you’re going to have a problem.” But Leon confirms that disposal of the material is regulated. Oregon Administrative Rule 333-117-0130 states: “Transfers of waste containing [Naturally Occurring Radioactive Materials] for disposal shall be made only to a person specifically licensed to receive such waste.” Greenway Recycling was not licensed to dispose of the substance. Not knowing that the material was radioactive, Greenway had mixed the refractory with other shipments. Now it was stuck with 90 tons of material that local landfills won’t accept. Garrett then filed a lawsuit against Bullseye in Multnomah County Circuit Court. “This material sat on our site for over two months, in violation of our Metro license and DEQ permit,” Garrett testified in court. Bullseye’s controller, Eric Durrin, testified in the case that he was unaware of the regulations around the radioactive waste. “We’ve been using it for many years,” Durrin said. “We were not aware of any special needs or concerns regarding the material.” In court, Judge Steven R. Evans expressed surprise after Durrin said the term radioactive was “inflammatory” and that keeping the material on Greenway’s site presented no risk. “Whether or not you would feel comfortable having your family live on this material, I find it rather curious that certain dump sites in this area refuse to have it,” Evans responded. “So obviously somebody has a disagreement with you.” Evans ruled in Greenway’s favor, ordering Bullseye to pay Garrett $6,734 for the costs incurred in handling the radioactive material. It wasn’t until Feb. 25, four months after the material had first arrived at Greenway, that the last of it was hauled to a landfill in Idaho, at Bullseye’s expense. Bullseye spokesman Chris Edmonds says the factory now sends radioactive material to a recycling company in Ohio. He says the decision to recycle refractory in the first place—even in violation of state rules—shows the company’s commitment to the environment. “If anything, it’s a positive reflection,” Edmonds says. “It isn’t like they dropped the material in a lake somewhere.”

Felt Electric SportE Originally $3,999 / NOW $2,999

All in-stock Felt SportE e-bikes - 48cm, 52cm, 55cm, 58cm

YOUR COMPLETE SOURCE FOR ELECTRIC BIKES

CynergyEbikes.com

SE Powell & 39th / 503.719.7678

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

PROUD PAPA:

Dad

JORDAN SCHNITZER WANTED A SON. THANKS TO SCIENCE AND MONEY, HE GOT ONE—AND A COURT BATTLE.

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

HARSCH

Jordan Schnitzer is giddy about the December birth of his son. “He’s wonderful,” Schnitzer says.

LEFT OUT:

COURTESY CORY SAUSE

Cory Sause wants to be legally recognized as the mother of Schnitzer’s son.

MOM Mom

BY N IGEL JAQU ISS

njaquiss@wweek.com

ortland businessman Jordan Schnitzer owns a billion-dollar real estate portfolio. He has homes in San Francisco, Palm Springs and Gearhart, and four residences in Portland. He has a private jet and the nation’s largest collection of fine art prints. He’s one of the city’s top philanthropists, collects honorary degrees, sits courtside at Trail Blazers games and even has a museum named after him. The only thing Schnitzer, 64, didn’t have? A son. Three days before Christmas, he fixed that. On Dec. 22, 2015, Schnitzer’s son was born at Samaritan Albany General Hospital, a modest, 69-bed Linn County facility. That location—far from Oregon Health & Science University, to which Schnitzer’s family has given millions, or any of the other large Portland hospitals—was close to the home of the woman who gave birth to Schnitzer’s son. She was a surrogate mother, paid by Schnitzer to carry and deliver his child. Gestational surrogate pregnancies—in which a woman carries another woman’s fertilized eggs and gives birth for pay—are increasingly common in Oregon and elsewhere. (See sidebar, page 16.) Frequently in gestational surrogacy, the donor of the eggs remains anonymous. But Schnitzer knew the woman whose eggs produced his son. He’d dated her for nearly two years. That woman is Cory Noel Sause, 37, an executive at her family’s Coos Bay barge and tugboat company. CONT. on page 14

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

“SCHNITZER HEREBY RELINQUISHES ANY CLAIM TO OR JURISDICTION OVER ANY FEMALE EMBRYOS FROM SAUSE AND ANY RESULTING FEMALE OFFSPRING.”

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

back to a previous era of male progenitor rules,” says Marcy Darnovsky, director of the Center for Genetics and Society in Berkeley, Calif. “What can you say? It’s just bizarre.”

amuel Schnitzer, an immigrant from Russia, founded the Alaska Junk Co. in 1906 and brought his five sons into what is now one of the nation’s largest scrap metal businesses, publicly traded Schnitzer Steel, based in Portland. In 1950, one of those sons, Harold Schnitzer, split from the scrap business and started Harsch Investment Properties. By the time of his death in 2011, Harold had amassed 21 million square feet of commercial real estate in five states—the equivalent of 21 Big Pink towers. He also owned 1,000 apartment units. Harold’s widow, Arlene, is a longtime patron of the arts. Her name adorns the city’s best-known concert hall. She and her husband gave more than $80 million to charity during his lifetime. Harold and Arlene had one child: a son named Jordan. Jordan Schnitzer inherited his mother’s passion for art. The Jordan Schnitzer Museum of Art at the University of Oregon bears his name, and he owns a collection of 9,500 prints, which have been exhibited at 75 museums across the nation. Schnitzer’s board memberships and civic contributions are too numerous to list. In 2009, he honored his maternal grandparents by donating nearly $2 million toward the construction of Director Park, just west of Fox Tower in downtown Portland. His alma maters, the University of Oregon and Lewis & Clark Law School, have heaped awards on him. He spearheaded the renovation of the Astoria Column, helped find a new home for the Pacific Northwest College of Art, and is a major benefactor of the Portland Art Museum and Oregon College of Art and Craft. In 2014, when Schnitzer gave $5 million toward a new art museum at Washington State University, the school named him commencement speaker and awarded him an honorary doctorate in humanities. But Schnitzer says that the accumulation of wealth, art and accolades pales in comparison to the joy he felt when his daughters were born—and that he wanted to feel one more time, with a son. “I loved the emotion you feel when you have a little baby and they put their little fingers around yours,” he says. “I loved being a dad.”

W W S TA F F

Sause and Schnitzer’s baby emerged from the genetic material of two Oregon business dynasties. In Portland, the Schnitzer family’s two branches— one in the steel business, the other in real estate—have been outsized players in economic and philanthropic circles for a more than a century. In Coos Bay, the Sause Bros. operation is nearly as old. The family runs a fourth-generation tugboat and barge business that stretches from Alaska to Mexico. When Schnitzer and Sause decided to try a surrogate pregnancy, Schnitzer left nothing to chance, employing a controversial approach to select the sex of the child. He also took legal precautions. His attorney drew up a contract specifying Schnitzer would not accept just any baby—he’d only take a boy. “Schnitzer hereby relinquishes any claim to or jurisdiction over any female embryo from Sause and any resulting female offspring that might result from the use of Sause’s eggs,” reads the contract, dated June 2, 2014. On Dec. 22, Schnitzer’s dream came true: his son arrived. On March 3, that dream turned into a nightmare when Sause challenged him in Multnomah County Circuit Court, saying he was violating their contract by denying her parentage of their son. Filings in that case provide much of the information presented in this story. Sause declined to comment. Schnitzer, however, sat down for a two-hour interview during which he often grew emotional. He proudly displayed cellphone photos of his young son and of himself as a baby. The two are nearly identical. “This is a wonderful story and one people can learn a lot from,” Schnitzer says. Schnitzer and Sause’s experience shows that for people with financial resources, science can reduce the uncertainty and physical challenges of pregnancy. Despite the sophistication of the boy’s genetic parents and the legal precautions they took, however, the issue of the baby’s parentage is now in dispute. That disagreement, pitting powerful family against powerful family, may have the trappings of private planes, massive ocean-going vessels and multimilliondollar estates, but at its essence, is still about primal human impulses. For Sause, it’s the desire to be a mother to a child whose genes are half hers. For Schnitzer, who already has two daughters, the imperative is to have a son he can raise without interference and who can carry on his family name. Selecting the sex of a baby for nonmedical reasons, although possible, is controversial. People who study the ethics of surrogacy are uncomfortable with Schnitzer’s approach. “It seems like a really unfortunate situation brought about by new technology and a man harking

As a young man, Jordan Schnitzer struggled to prove himself as independent from his family. A toy company he bought in 1981, Northern Specialty Sales, flopped, causing the loss of about $30 million. In 1989, he bought Casablanca Industries, an electric fan company, for $60 million. The company declared bankruptcy two years later.

or all their differences, Schnitzer and Sause did share a bond: the desire to create their families’ next generations. Sause recalls in her March 3 court filing that her thoughts were focused on the future: “I had recently turned 35 years old, and although having a child was not part of my immediate plan, I believed it was in my best interest to freeze genetic material in case I or one of my siblings had difficulty conceiving a child in the future. I paid OHSU for the retrieval and storage of my eggs.” For Schnitzer’s part, he had two daughters from his marriage. One daughter is in high school and one in college. He was eager to add a son. “I have two wonderful girls, and I thought it might be nice to do some balancing,” he says. “And, frankly, being a divorced dad was complicated. The idea was that I’d have this son without complications.” Schnitzer had already begun exploring less traditional ways of obtaining a son, working with doctors at OHSU to mix his sperm with eggs from an anonymous donor. He had his sperm combined with anonymous donor eggs twice. The first time, Schnitzer says, the surrogate did not become pregnant and the second time the surrogate miscarried. He says he and Sause talked about his desire to have a son. He says she was eager to help. “Cory said, over and over, ‘I took a life and I want to help create a life,’” Schnitzer recalls. Sause decided she’d allow her eggs to be mixed with Schnitzer’s sperm. “I agreed given our budding relation-

FAMILY VALUES: Jordan Schnitzer says he discussed his desire to have a son with his mother, Arlene, a couple of years ago. “She said, ‘You’re older. Are you prepared for this? Is this what you want to do with the rest of your life?’ I said ‘Yes,’’’ he recalls. COURTESY JORDAN SCHNITZER

Eventually, he came back into the family fold, working alongside his father at Harsch’s headquarters on Southwest 11th Street. He’s continued to build Harsch’s holdings across the West. Schnitzer’s only marriage ended in divorce in 2005. Since then, he’s squired a succession of women around town. When he and Cory Sause started dating in January 2014, they were in some ways an odd couple. He was a Democrat and a leading benefactor of Jewish causes. He belonged to the ultra-exclusive Bohemian Grove club in California and often flew in his 16-seat Bombardier Challenger 300 jet to his home at the Vintage Club in Indian Wells, Calif., where his neighbors include Bill Gates and Charles Koch. Sause, 27 years Schnitzer’s junior, had never been married. A graduate of a Catholic high school and college, she was a Republican living in a small town far from Schnitzer’s West Hills world. A keen distance runner, she kept a low profile, hiding behind oversized sunglasses in the few pictures available on social media or online. Sause made headlines in 2006 when she was sentenced to 40 months in prison for negligent homicide (“Two Crimes, Two Punishments,” WW, Nov. 28, 2006). In 2004, while she was a student at Lewis & Clark Law School, a very drunk Sause was speeding along South Shore Boulevard in Lake Oswego when she collided with another car, killing the driver, a 21-year-old Lake Oswego man, and leaving his younger brother critically injured. The man who died in the crash, Patrick Kibler, was an honors student at George Fox University, recently engaged and working part-time as a model for Abercrombie & Fitch. His parents continued to pay his cellphone bill for years so friends could hear his voice. When Sause and Schnitzer met, she’d been out of prison for five years and coming out of a relationship with Chuck Engle, a Coos Bay man who’s won more marathons than any other runner. Schnitzer had recently broken up with Sally Hopper, a mysterious ex-Playboy model whom a former boyfriend had accused of being an art thief (“Puttin’ on the Schnitz,” WW, July 30, 2013). Schnitzer recalls their first date being at the Portland Brewing tasting room in Industrial Northwest Portland. “She was lots of fun,” Schnitzer says.

Dad and Grandma

ship, and my own decision to have my eggs retrieved, to create embryos with [Schnitzer],” Sause wrote. A test developed in the early 1990s allows prospective parents to screen embryos for genetic disorders. Using the test, called pre-implantation genetic diagnosis, to determine the sex of the child is controversial. It’s illegal in some countries to choose the sex of the child when not medically necessary. In the U.S., where it’s legal, parents who want to choose the sex of their baby have found their way to fertility clinics to get PGD testing. Sause’s legal filing says she and Schnitzer used PGD and screened the embryos to choose males for a surrogate pregnancy. “[Schnitzer] told me that he only wanted a male heir and wanted to attempt pregnancies with as many male embryos as possible,” Sause wrote. “I agreed that [he] could take possession of the male embryos and implant as many as he wanted in the surrogates of his choosing. “I did not want the female embryos to be destroyed,” she wrote, “so I agreed to take possession of the female embryos and [Schnitzer] would relinquish all rights to any female offspring produced from those embryos since he did not want any more female children.” For many parents pursuing surrogacy, the prospect of having a healthy child is enough. But Sause says Schnitzer told her he was only interested in a boy and wanted to eliminate any potential confusion by documenting that goal. In June 2014, Schnitzer’s attorney, Jeff Nudelman, emailed Sause a contract outlining the terms of the proposed pregnancy. The contract language emphasized Schnitzer wanted nothing to do with a baby girl. Here’s how the contract expressed it: “Schnitzer hereby relinquishes any claim to or jurisdiction over any female embryos from Sause and any

resulting female offspring.” Sause renounced rights to any male embryo but not any male offspring in that contract. That meant, her attorneys now claim, she was acknowledging Schnitzer would have custody of their son but she could still be the boy’s genetic mother and enjoy visitation rights. The contract specified that no money would change hands between Schnitzer and Sause. Both prospective parents also agreed to confidentiality. “Neither party will be involved in the preparation of any article, story, video, film, or book regarding the other party or family members,” the contract said. In 2015, OHSU fertility consultants helped Schnitzer and Sause find a Springfield couple, Cassondra and Charles Gibeaut, who were willing to serve as surrogates. On April 29, 2015, doctors at OHSU Fertility Consultants in Portland performed an embryo transfer to Cassondra Gibeaut. In her court filings, Sause quoted from text messages she says Schnitzer sent her as the pregnancy progressed. “Very soon, we will know whether you are going to be a mom,” Schnitzer texted Sause in early May. “This is our baby.” “Cassie says everything is fine with your baby,” Schnitzer texted Sause on May 21, 2015. “We are having a baby,” Schnitzer wrote on Aug. 5, 2015. “Do you realize that?” But as the due date approached, Schitzer and Sause’s relationship cooled. “During the summer of 2015, I was pulling away from the romantic relationship with [Schnitzer],” Sause wrote. “He had encouraged me to marry him and/or move in with him so we could raise the child together. However, I did not want to marry Mr. Schnitzer or share a life with him.” CONT. on page 16

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

n Dec. 22, the boy Schnitzer wanted was born. The birth took place in Linn County, near the surrogate parents’ home. “[Schnitzer] notified me of the birth and I visited my son in the hospital in Albany,” Sause wrote. She says she was thrilled to meet the boy she thought of as her son. But her happiness would be short-lived. That same day, Dec. 22, Schnitzer filed a petition in Multnomah County Circuit Court saying he was the baby’s sole parent. People who employ surrogates routinely go to court to file declarations of parentage even before the birth to establish their custody and that the surrogate parents have no claim to the child. In Schnitzer’s case, however, he went further by omitting in court filings that Sause played any role in the baby’s creation. “The embryos were created with Jordan Director Schnitzer’s sperm and donor eggs, which were the exclusive property of [Schnitzer],” he said in the court filing. “It is in the best interests of [the baby] that the child’s birth records and birth certificate accurately reflect the child’s genetic and intended parentage to the fullest extent possible.” Sause says when she learned that her name wasn’t on the birth certificate, she was “shocked,” and further dismayed that Schnitzer went to court and obtained a judgment certifying that he was the sole genetic parent. In her court filings, Sause challenges the court’s Dec. 29 finding that Schnitzer is the boy’s sole genetic parent. “It was always my intention to be the biological mother of any child that resulted from our embryos,” Sause said in a March 3 declaration. “I am the biological mother.” When she learned she was not allowed visitation rights, Sause first tried to communicate with Schnitzer and then his attorney. Those talks went nowhere. The goal of Sause’s court filings March 3 is to force Schnitzer to appear in court April 4. In court, she hopes to establish her right to visit the boy, and to be designated on his birth certificate as his mother. Bob Barton, one of Sause’s attorneys, argues that in the contract prepared by Schnitzer’s attorney, Schnitzer renounced any involvement with any female “offspring,” but that Sause made no such concession about a son. Barton says Sause acknowledged Schnitzer’s sole custody of a male baby—but did not renounce either her parentage or visitation rights. Schnitzer, whose attorneys are preparing to file a response to Sause, says her claims are without merit. Schnitzer says Sause never expressed interest in being a mother, genetic or otherwise, before the baby was born. “Cory said, ‘I’m not a breeder. I’m not sure I want kids,’” he recalls. “She signed away her rights to everything.” In his quest to create a son in his image, Jordan Schnitzer has used cutting-edge science and his financial resources to guarantee the result he sought. But in his desire to be a father again, Schnitzer may have reached the limits of what money can do. The son he wanted so badly was born into a legal dispute. And even if Schnitzer wins that dispute, his son will be a boy who has everything—except a mother. Darnovsky, of the Center for Genetics and Society, says adults need to remember that children are not commodities to be chosen for their gender or other genetic attributes. “What if this boy grows up to have no interest in real estate or his father’s other pursuits?” she says. “What then?” WW staff writer Rachel Monahan contributed reporting to this story.

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

How Babies Are Made Now TECHNOLOGY AND THE LAW HAVE TURNED OREGON INTO AN INTERNATIONAL DESTINATION FOR A RADICAL KIND OF FERTILITY TREATMENT. BY R ACHEL MON A HA N RMONAHAN@WWEEK.COM

What is surrogacy?

For centuries, couples unable to have children have turned to surrogacy—when a woman carries a baby for another couple by being inseminated with the father’s sperm. The practice, now called traditional surrogacy, can be traced back to the Old Testament. Technical advances in the past 30 years made possible a procedure called gestational surrogacy—when a woman becomes pregnant with a baby who does not share her DNA. Through in vitro fertilization, an egg (often from an egg donor) is fertilized in a lab, and the resulting embryo is implanted in the surrogate mother. The first successful gestational surrogacy birth in the world was in 1986. This is the procedure used by Jordan Schnitzer and Cory Sause. Gestational surrogacy is used when a woman cannot get pregnant or carry a pregnancy for medical or psychological reasons. Gay men have also turned to gestational surrogacy as a way of having children. More controversial is the small number of women turning to surrogacy to avoid the inconveniences of pregnancy—what Elle magazine in 2014 labeled “social surrogacy” and others have called “vanity surrogacy.” In some instances, money changes hands with gestational surrogacy—a controversial practice, which is allowed in parts of the United States but banned in one form or another in most of the developed world. Last year, Thailand, India and Nepal banned paid surrogacy, at least by foreign couples.

How many surrogate pregnancies of this kind take place nationally?

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention puts the number of gestational surrogate pregnancies in the U.S. at 1,614 in 2013, an increase of 45 percent in just five years.

How are the surrogacy laws different in Oregon than in other states?

There are no federal regulations on surrogacy, and states are left to themselves. Oregon is among seven states in the nation considered the most amenable to surrogacy, according to Creative Family Connections, a national surrogacy agency and law firm based in Maryland. That’s because lawmakers have placed no limits or regulation on the practice of paid gestational surrogacy in Oregon. “Oregon is considered very friendly,” says Robin Pope, a Beaverton gestational-surrogacy and adoption lawyer, “in part because we have no formal law saying you can’t do [gestational surrogacy].” For example, women in Oregon can accept money for surrogacy. That’s not allowed in several U.S. states—including New York, Michigan and Oregon’s northern neighbor Washington—according to Creative Family Connections.

How much does gestational surrogate pregnancy cost?

Around the country, surrogacy agencies—it’s hard to say how many, because they are largely unregulated—have jumped into the business of matching women willing to serve as surrogates with couples who are hoping to have a baby. At Northwest Surrogacy Center, one of the state’s

largest agencies, the cost of having a baby through surrogacy is between $125,000 and $170,000, estimates John Chally, a director and founder of the agency. (He’s also a lawyer with Bouneff & Chally, which is representing Jordan Schnitzer.) The amount includes legal fees, money for the surrogate mother and the agency brokering the deal and the services of a fertility clinic.

How much do surrogates get paid?

Surrogates are paid roughly $4.50 for every hour of pregnancy. Diane Hinson, owner and founder of Creative Family Connections, says the average payment pencils out to $30,000 to $35,000.

Is it really possible to select the sex of a baby?

Yes. A test, called preimplantation genetic diagnosis, makes it possible to biopsy one cell of the newly formed embryo and test it for genetic defects as well as sex before it is transferred to the womb. The parents can choose the sex they want, then implant only embryos of that sex into a womb. According to the Society for Assisted Reproductive Technology, the test was used more than 10,000 times in 2013, the latest number for which data is available. It’s still a highly controversial test used in only 6 percent of in vitro fertilization cycles in 2013. Cost is also a factor: It runs upward of $3,000. Court filings in the Sause and Schnitzer case say that Sause signed off on PGD for the embryo. “A lot of people today are doing testing,” Chally says. “It also discloses whether it’s male or female. It would be naive for me to think that people aren’t making a choice.”

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

but I’m willing to continue the proud Irish tradition of bringing them to the pub.

but I’m still morally ambiguous and I’d rather do lame family aboutthan neglecting stuff drink. them to drink.

Great! You should go downtown to Kells or Paddy’s. (A)

All right—well, then go to McMenamins, where kids come first. (B)

Bono Where do the streets have no name? New York You sound fun! You’ll probably want to head to the St. Patrick’s Day No-Alcohol Céilí Mor in Tualatin! (J)

(C)

Learn the beefy magic at EastBurn. (E)

(D)

Drink Irish-inspired craft beer at Feckin’s Irish Craft Ale Festival. (H)

Portland may not dye the Willamette green, but you can get green beer at Yard House (I)

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Throw it back to the New York islands at a reading of McCann’s Shorts: True Tales of an Irish Immigrant by Dermot McCann at Gigantic Brewing. (F)

Dublin

Show Irish pride at the All-Ireland Cultural Society of Oregon’s 75th annual St. Patrick’s Day celebration at the Ambridge Event Center. (G)

i l l u s t r at i o n b y t r i c i a h i p p s

ST. PATRICK’S DAY

A. Kells and Paddy’s St.

Patrick’s Day Celebrations

These are your classic downtown drinking festivals. Kids can come, especially to Family Day at Kells on March 19, and if they do they’ll learn a lot about why Uncle Mitch isn’t sleeping in the same bed as Aunt Cathy anymore. There will be Irish bands, corned beef and cabbage, bagpipers, plenty of Guinness and all the Irish stereotypes a lad or lassie could want. Paddy’s Bar & Grill, 65 SW Yamhill St., 224-5626, paddys.com. Pub opens at 10 am, kids welcome until 9:30 pm. $10 cover after 2 pm. Kells Irish Restaurant & Pub, 112 SW 2nd Ave, 227-4057, kellsportland.com. Hours and cover charges vary from March 17-19. Check website for details. All ages.

B. McMenamins St. Patrick’s Day

McMenamins, always a hot spot for decorous drinking parents, is having wee, bairn-friendly celebrations at Edgefield and Kennedy School, with Irish music, face painting and whiskey for when the screaming children painted like mythical monsters get overwhelming. Edgefield, 2126 SW Halsey St., Troutdale, 669-8610, mcmenamins.com. Noon-10 pm. Free entry. Kennedy School, 5736 NE 33rd Ave., 249-3983. Noon-9 pm. Free entry.

C. Jake’s St. Patrick’s Day

D. LepreCon 2016

For those who want to snog a wee sprite, LepreCon 2016 starts at Kells. Dress up like a leprechaun and join the elfin horde. Kells Irish Pub, 112 SW 2nd Ave., 227-4057, stumptownevents.org. 2 pm Saturday, March 19. $5. 21+.

E. EastBurn’s St. Patrick’s Day

F. McCann’s Shorts: True Tales of an

but I’m still morally ambiguous about neglecting them to drink.

Southwest 12th Avenue between Stark and Burnside streets will be blocked off for a party at Jake’s with Irish coffee, clam chowder, Guinness, corned beef and crawfish. What’s crawfish got to do with the Christification of Ireland? Someone there should be able to tell you. Jake’s Famous Crawfish, 401 SW 12th Ave., 226-1419, mccormickandschmicks.com. Noon-9:30 pm. $10. All ages.

Remember to ask what role corn plays in corned beef at EastBurn’s St. Patrick’s Day Celebration, featuring corned beef and colcannon made by someone named Mike. EastBurn 1800 E Burnside St., 236-2876, theeastburn.com. 11 am-midnight Thursday, 11 am-2 am Friday-Saturday, March 17-19. $5 cover after 7 pm on Thursday. 21+.

Irish Immigrant

Oh you popish rogue. Celebrate the joy of being a pre-Trump immigrant with pale skin by listening in on McCann’s Shorts: True Tales of an Irish Immigrant by Dermot McCann at Gigantic Brewing. Gigantic Brewing, 5224 SE 26th Ave., 2083416. 6:30 and 8:30 pm Thursday, March 17. Free. 21+. Bono

Where do the streets have no name? New York

Dublin

G. All-Ireland Cultural Society of

Oregon’s 75th Annual St. Patrick’s Day Celebration

Burn your Irish yoga shirt and stop reducing an entire culture and country to a silly, drunken caricature at the AllIreland Cultural Society of Oregon’s 75th annual St. Patrick’s Day celebration at the Ambridge Event Center. In addition to Irish stew, music and beer, two Irish dance groups will perform. Ambridge Event Center, 1333 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 286-4812, oregonirishclub.org. 4-9 pm. $10. All ages.

H. Feckin’s Irish Craft Ale Festival

This beer festival will also have oysters, arm wrestling and Irish dancing. Just slow down on the beer or avoid the oysters, at least before dancing. Feckin Brewery, 415 S McLoughlin Blvd., 516-7241, feckinbrew.com. Noon-close Thursday-Saturday, March 17-19. $20 buys an event glass and eight beer tasters. 21+.

I. Green Beer at Yard House

Never mind. Keep that Irish yoga shirt. It looks good with the green beer, which you can drink at Yard House through March 20. Yard House, 888 SW 5th Ave., No. 2004, 2220147, yardhouse.com. 11 am-11 pm Wednesday-Thursday and Sunday, 11 am-midnight Friday-Saturday, through March 20.

J. St. Patrick’s Day No-Alcohol Céilí Mór

You don’t have to be a lush to celebrate the removal of the “snakes” (actually druids, RIP) from Ireland. The St. Patrick’s Day No-Alcohol Céilí Mór will feature music and dancing and zero puking in the bushes. Winona Grange, 8340 SW Seneca St., No. 271, Tualatin, sandairishentertainment. com. 6:30 pm. $15.

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

APRIL 25-26 | THE ARMORY TICKETS ON SALE NOW: TECHFESTNW.COM

THIS WEEK’S FEATURED SPEAKERS For the full list of speakers go to techfestnw.com/speakers

LUCAS FOSTER

TAWNY SCHLIESKI

CO-FOUNDER HEADCASE VR

INTEL

Lucas Foster has produced or supervised more than 50 feature films, including Bad Boys, Crimson Tide, Dangerous Minds, The Mask of Zorro, Enemy of the State, Man On Fire, Mr. & Mrs. Smith and Law Abiding Citizen. He is a storyteller, filmmaker and businessman with many years of experience in development, production, marketing and distribution of films and television programs.

FUN

Tawny is a new media expert, the Director of Research in Intel’s Desktop Organization, and the chairman of Oregon Story Board. Her work centers on new storytelling capabilities enabled by emergent technologies, including rethinking creativity and collaboration, new forms of creation and play, immersive engagement, and multi-media story platforms. Tawny has a master’s degree in political science from Duke University and recently published Dark Magic: Entertainment in the Age of Big Data.

PITCHFESTNW FOR STARTUPS / DEMO ALLEY FEATURING THE LATEST IN VIRTUAL AUGMENTED REALITY / PARTIES / NETWORKING

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

STREET

TIMBERS FANS WHEN THEY ROOT, THEY ROOT FOR THE TIMBERS. P HOTOS BY EMILY JOA N GR EEN E AND PAU L MA N SON www.wweek.com/street

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

“I see how a lot of other people live. They’re happy, and it’s a foreign concept to me.” page 27

STARTERS

BITE-SIZED PORTLAND CULTURE NEWS.

R.I.P.: Portland music was rattled by two untimely deaths last week. On March 8, Dead Moon drummer Andrew Loomis passed away at age 54 after suffering a series of small strokes in late February. Loomis had been diagnosed with lymphoma last spring but died “cancer free,” according to a Facebook post from his girlfriend, Neva Knott (see page 31). A day later, Nicholas Harris, founder of Portland guitar-pedal manufacturer Catalinbread Effects, was killed when his car was struck by a falling tree while he was driving on U.S. 26 near Seaside. His products were used by Jeff Tweedy, Billy Corgan, J Mascis and others. He was 37 years old.

W W S TA F F

FREMONT ROCK: Portland is getting a new art-decoinspired music venue and recording studio, called Fremont Theater, on the namesake Northeast Portland street at 30th Avenue. “It’s a dream I’ve had for a long time, a music space where you could record and perform,” says owner Dave Shur, the frontman for rock band Future Historians. The Fremont Theater will have a capacity of 150, a 30-foot ceiling and a mezzanine balcony. It’ll play host to indie rock, folk, jazz, hip-hop and…kindie music. Shur’s partner in the project is recording engineer and local kindie musician Johnny Keener, so the theater plans to host kids’ concerts in the daytime and adult shows at night, and hopes to open this summer. FREEDOM FISH: Tilikum, the murderous orca at the center of the documentary Blackfish, and who may or may not be the namesake for Portland’s lightrail and pedestrian bridge, is slowly dying in Orlando, Fla., probably in solitary confinement. Depending on how you look at it, Tilikum is either famous for being the only whale to take a human life in the war against the ocean occupiers and fish slavers, or infamous for murdering up to three innocent humans. Now, the hero-terrorist, who has lived the majority of his 35 years in a small, watery cage under the watchful eyes of human kidnappers, is dying of a bacterial lung infection, according to The Washington Post. SeaWorld, which has “owned” the whale for about 20 years, appears to feel bad about it. “Our teams are treating him with care and medication for what we believe is a bacterial infection in his lungs,” SeaWorld says. “However, the suspected bacteria is very resistant to treatment and a cure for his illness has not been found.” INTERMISSION: Post5 Theatre canceled its sold-out weekend performances of King Lear about an hour before the March 11 show, citing actor illness. The nearly 80-year-old lead, Tobias Anderson, needed a break after playing Lear every weekend night since Feb. 26. “He is certain that he will be back on his feet and ready to perform next week,” wrote director Rusty Tennant on the PDXBackstage Yahoo page March 12. “He assures us that this is a condition he has had in the past, and he simply needs rest. For those who have seen his Lear, it is a tempest of emotion and physicality. It takes him being able to bring his all, and unfortunately he just isn’t able to do that at this time.” 22

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

HEADOUT

THURSDAY MARCH 17

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

Louder Than Words

[DANCE] Back from its debut at New York’s famous Joyce Theater, Northwest Dance Project saved the newest world premiere from resident choreographer Ihsan Rustem for Portland. With a soundtrack recalling Edith Piaf, bright lighting and whimsical colors, it’s a brave new style for the bleak European choreographer. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, portland5.com. 7:30 pm. $34-$58.

Young Fathers

[TWILIGHT POP] In Young Fathers, one hears everything from TV on the Radio, R&B and hip-hop, grime and bebop, ragga and drum-and-bass, all simmering through the sound of expensive but slightly staticky speakers. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., 239-7639. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 8:30 pm. 21+.

SATURDAY MARCH 19

HORRIBLE BOSS

THE CASE AGAINST BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.

Let me start by saying that I do not hate Bruce Springsteen. I am, however, mostly indifferent toward and mildly annoyed by Bruce Springsteen. He has written a few good songs over his five-decade career, but his music is tedious, his persona inauthentic and his fans grating. Mostly, I’m someone who thinks we—as a nation, as a people—should have something better to talk about than a retirement-age rocker who was last relevant during the Reagan administration. Bruce Springsteen is coming to town next week to play 1980’s The River in full, so people will be talking about him. Here are some points you can share with them about why the thing they like is bad and why they should feel bad. 1

Chris Christie loves him.

If you inspired Chris Christie, you did something wrong. Bruce has lots of money and power. If Bruce is so woke, and so strongly opposed to the corrupt Christie regime, why isn’t he doing more to help the resistance?

He culturally appropriated blue-collar America.

Bruce has been rich for a long, long time. When this guy sings about the closed steel mills of “Youngstown”—the steel mills where my grandfather worked—it’s essentially audio ruin porn, about people he’s never met and places he only saw out the window of a shiny black limousine. 3

BY MA RTIN CIZMA R

A shitty seat to his show costs $115.

That’s double what Garth Brooks charged at Moda Center last year. Garth had to play five shows to get everyone in who bought a ticket at that price. Who’s the real bluecollar hero?

mcizmar@wweek.com

His shows are way too long.

I’ve seen Bruce live. He’s fine. But no one needs a four-hour show, or to hear The River in its 80-minute entirety. It’s selfindulgent. If Courteney Cox can’t dance to it, he shouldn’t play it. 6

All the worst music critics love him.

I’m not going to name names, but the deification of Springsteen is tightly bound to the most noxious strain of rockist music criticism, the one that still holds Mick Jagger as a credible sex symbol while also bemoaning the fact that the kids are so into Kanye’s sneakers.

He big-timed his band.

On the Jersey Shore bar-band circuit, the font of Bruce’s mythology, everyone in a band gets paid the same. But in 1989, Bruce tossed out his band like a Frito bag on the turnpike. Eventually, the Boss rehired the Employees. Their financial arrangement is different now. 4

RICK VODICKA

The Body

He emboldened New Jersey.

[HEAVY BUMMER] With No One Deserves Happiness, Portland’s most enigmatic band of nihilists sets out to make “the grossest pop album of all time,” creating a murky deluge of 808s, blasting guitar, whining electronics and howling vocals. Tonight is the release party, but one imagines it won’t exactly be a “celebration.” High Water Mark, 6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 286-6513. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+.

Cider Rite of Spring

On the heels of Portland CiderCon comes a springtime regional cider tasting with at least 27 cideries pouring their wares at the Tiffany Center, from Portland cideries to Apple Outlaw, Hedgerow and Wandering Aengus. Tiffany Center, 1410 SW Morrison St., nwcider.com. Noon-5 pm. $25-$30 buys an event glass and eight tasters. 21+.

SUNDAY, MARCH 20 Rock ’n’ Roll Flea Market

[DIGS AND DISCS] The logcabin basement of Doug Fir, usually one of Portland’s bestsounding concert venues, gets hung with vintage concert tees and leather jackets, and stacked with 8-tracks and vintage vinyl. The bar is open and the stereo’s on, too. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., dougfirlounge.com. 5 pm. Free entry. 21+.

MONDAY, MARCH 21 Ursula K. Le Guin Poetry Group

An incomplete list of bad Jersey things that probably would not exist without Bruce Springsteen: Snooki, Garden State, Bon Jovi, the Situation, Chris Christie. SEE IT: Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band play Moda Center, 1 N Center Court St., on Tuesday, March 22. 7:30 pm. $65-$150. All ages.

[BOOKS] Even the most celebrated artists have buddies to bounce stuff off of. That includes our state’s most celebrated artist, writerpoet Ursula K. Le Guin, who released a collection of poetry last year called Late in the Day. She and her poetry group will take turns reading their work. Annie Bloom’s Books, 7834 SW Capitol Highway, 246-0053. 7 pm. Free.

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK = WW Pick.

DRANK EXTRA

Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

THURSDAY, MARCH 17

SATURDAY, MARCH 19 Cider Rite of Spring

Northwest cider makers will hold a springtime regional tasting with at least 27 cideries pouring their wares at the Tiﬀany Center, from Portland cideries to Apple Outlaw, Hedgerow and Wandering Aengus, plus new spots like New West and Locust. Tiﬀany Center, 1410 SW Morrison St., nwcider.com. Noon-5 pm. $25-$30 buys a glass and eight tasters. 21+.

TUESDAY, MARCH 22 Clear Creek Pairing Dinner

The state’s most be-ribboned and beloved distillery, the Steve McCarthy-founded Clear Creek, will show off some of its fine and subtle eaux de vie at a five-course dinner at chef Aaron Barnett’s St. Jack, one of the city’s finest restaurants. Call or email info@stjackpdx.com for reservations. St. Jack, 1610 NW 23rd Ave., 360-1281, stjackpdx.com. 6:30 pm. $90 includes food and drink.

1. Paiche

4237 SW Corbett Ave., 403-6186, paichepdx.com.

Chef Jose Luis de Cossio serves some of the most extraordinary food in Portland—including the brightest, most balanced and lovely ceviche we’ve had in this country. $$.

2. Wei Wei

7835 SE 13th Ave., 946-1732.

Taiwan spot Wei Wei’s beef noodle soup ($13) is the beeﬁest beef noodle soup. $$.

3. Tam

8235 SE 13th Ave., 740-1325, tampdx.com.

Roll in for an eight-bowl porkbelly-dumpling won ton soup: no fuss, no noodle, all dumpling. $.

4. Abyssinian Kitchen

2625 SE 21st Ave., 894-8349, abyssiniankitchen.com.

Abyssinian Kitchen, in the old Sok Sab Bai spot, may be Portland’s most upscale Ethiopian spot. But you won’t likely ﬁnd its warm, herbal siga and gomen short-rib dish anywhere else. $$-$$$.

5. Chicken and Guns

1207 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 234-7236, chickenandguns.com.

As we were reminded at the recent all-Portland IPA tasting at N.W.I.P.A., Chicken and Guns’ Latin-inspired chicken is kicking everyone’s ass halfway to next Tuesday. $. 24

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

W W S TA F F

Feckin Irish Craft Ale Fest

Hats doﬀed to Feckin for inaugurating a St. Paddy’s tradition we understand: many Irish-style beers, brewed locally. Very locally, in fact— pretty much the whole complement of Oregon City and Clackamas breweries will be brewing Irish for the event, which will also feature bagpipes and that cheerfully Gaelic brand of dancing that looks like really hard work. Feckin Brewery, 415 S McLoughlin Blvd., Oregon City, 516-7241, feckinbrew.com. Noonclose, March 17-19. $20 buys a glass and eight beer tasters. 21+.

Rooting Hard We tried the boozy root beers that have taken the market by storm. BY SOPHIA J U N E

sjune@wweek.com

Boozy root beer is the fastest-growing segment of the “craft” suds world. In 2012, a small brewery in suburban Chicago invented a super-boozy 10.7 percent ABV root beer called Not Your Father’s Root Beer. The brewery later halved the alcohol, bottled it and soon outsold the entire portfolio of Goose Island. In 2015, Pabst Brewing Co. bought production rights to the lower-weight version of Not Your Father’s Root Beer and took it national, moving $75 million of the stuff, more than even New Belgium’s Fat Tire, according to market researchers. Analysts predict that hard-soda sales will double this year, and brands have responded accordingly. Anheuser-Busch responded with the similarly old-timey Best Damn Root Beer, and the Boston Beer Co., maker of Sam Adams, has a hard root beer under its Coney Island imprint. A Portland brewpub, Great Notion, even has one—well, sorta. Which is the best? It’s time to slap a second Blue Ribbon on Pabst.

FIRST PLACE: Not Your Father’s Root Beer

The label of this beer shows a man in an 1800s top hat and suit, pushing a barrel with his cane. He’s on the way to his home brewery, where he’ll make barrels of hard root beer, as if this syrupy stuff existed before the Gold Rush. Actually, the market king dates only to 2012 and the appropriately named Small Town Brewery in tiny Wauconda, Ill. Pabst owns the rights now. You can see why it sells so well—it’s scary drinkable. The first sip actually tastes like creamy root beer. There is one sweet moment before the malt hits and your mouth is suddenly full of an acetone note, prompting you to take another sip.

SECOND PLACE: Best Damn Root Beer

The advertising copy for Anheuser-Busch’s Best Damn Root Beer suggests you “throw back a throwback.” By “throwback,” the makers mean a brand they just invented, and we’d instead suggest you throw it back in the case. This sour, watery root beer is the equivalent to dusty cans of Dad’s.

THIRD PLACE: Great Notion Root Beard

We’ve been big fans of the brand-new Great Notion on Northeast Alberta Street, but the crowler we got of this odd concoction was a dud. It smelled on the verge of skunking and poured flat, an unnatural creation that is neither beer nor root beer but a watery combination of the worst traits of both. Finally, we have something bad to say about Great Notion, which had two IPAs place in the top five of our citywide IPA tasting—though the version we had fresh off the tap was a little better.

FOURTH PLACE: Coney Island Hard Root Beer

The makers want you to imagine yourself walking down the Coney Island boardwalk, holding a foaming cup of hard root beer with a Ferris wheel in the background. “A new twist on an old favorite” the label copy reads. “The gypsy should have predicted this…. The most dignified beverage of days past, reimagined from your future self.” Actually, there’s nothing nostalgic, small-town, dignified or gypsy about Coney Island Brewing. This beer loses the losers’ bracket with its burning acetone flavor, which is more like drinking the vanilla flavor added to cheap coffee.

THOMAS TEAL

REVIEW

I TENDER TOUCH: The pecan-smoked pastrami sandwich.

Sha

www.sha

Shandong www.shandongportland.com

Simple ApproAch

Bold FlAvor vegan Friendly

open 11-10

everyday

In the Lunch Lines

perhaps better than it ever was in its airiness, balance and resolute Frenchiness. The texture of the butternut French toast was managed beautifully as well, with a subtle basil topper. A Reubenesque pastrami sandwich was a marvel BY M AT T H E W KO R F H AGE mkorfhage@wweek.com of meatiness, tempered by tender touches: pecansmoked beef, and a gentle leek fondue that didn’t Besaw’s is busy as hell. At the Slabtown eatery, there are lines even over-announce itself. A “cider-braised” oatmeal— for Monday lunch. On a recent Sunday morning, i.e., oatmeal made with cider instead of water—with there were at least 30 people on the sidewalk in touches of honey, apple, walnut and lemon curd was the rain, hoods up or huddled under overhangs. shockingly flavorful, as was a recent pumpkin soup Owner Cana Flug was at the front desk taking with herb, creme and duck that was improvised after the menu’s usual pear and celery soup ran out. phone numbers for the hourlong wait. And though the ingredients It’s an unusual problem for a restaurant less than two on the new “breakfast burger” Order this: Classic Benedict ($12), almost read as if the proteins months old. But depending pecan-smoked pastrami ($14), cider oatmeal ($8). were offset during printing— on how you tally it, Besaw’s is I’ll pass: The relleno burrito needs pork burger, beef bacon, duck also coming up on year 113. one fewer sauce ($13). egg—the result was harmonious Besaw’s was housed in a and magnanimously fatty, a rickety space on Northwest 23rd Avenue for over a century—a few blocks from richness both leavened and sweetened by the pork’s its current spot on 21st Avenue—before its historic natural topping of applesauce. But the menu can be as busy as the restauname became the ball in a very public game of keep away between Flug and former landlord C.E. John. rant. Clark sometimes seems to have too many One point of contention? The trademark neon ideas at once. The meatloaf sandwich, soon to be discontinued, sign that Besaw’s staff took with them—which now hangs inside the new 2,800-square-foot spot, was 50 ways to salt a sandwich: meatloaf smothered a palatial ode to art deco that looks like Dorothy in Muenster and sausage gravy with a distracting Parker’s brunchery in hardwood and forest green, poblano, on a biscuit base. A similar ADHD plagued with half-moon booths, custom wallpaper and a the chile relleno burrito, which has a creamy pumphuge horseshoe bar. kin sauce within and an entirely separate earthy The much-ballyhooed reopening has meant mole spread on the plate, plus a pungently seedy the restaurant’s start has been, as Flug told green chili. It’s as if multiple ingredients of the buranother reporter last week, a “shitshow.” After rito were all trying out for the same role, and were a rushed opening schedule, the good-natured all allowed to play it. service staff have struggled to keep up, even But, for the most part, Besaw’s manages to feel on weekday lunches—clumping up, missing or fresh, without abandoning its roots—updating and mismatching a few orders and bottlenecking upscaling very old notions of comfort. As it irons on drink orders. The receipts all bear a cheerily out how to manage the crowds, its best dishes apologetic message: “We couldn’t be happier to already place it among the few Portland brunch be back and getting better every day.” spots that justify the wait. That is, so long as Flug’s At lunch and brunch, the half-traditional, planned second restaurant—cafe-by-day Asianhalf-nouveau menu from ex-Wildwood sous fusion spot Solo Club, due next door in a month— chef Dustin Clark is coming into focus. Where doesn’t throw in a bunch of new wrinkles. simplicity reigns, the lightness of Clark’s touch EAT: Besaw’s, 1545 NW 21st Ave., 228-2619, can be nothing short of extraordinary. besaws.com. Brunch 7 am-3 pm Monday-Friday, 8 The eggs Benedict was a delicate construction— am-3 pm Saturday-Sunday. Dinner 5-10 pm daily.

CAN THE BESAW’S SEQUEL HANDLE ITS OWN WILD POPULARITY?

500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173 kungpowpdx.com

brunch + cannabis + cartoons info at: hunnymilk.com/wakeandbake

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC PROFILE

co u r T E Sy o f T H E B o dy

The Pursuit of Undeserved Happiness JUST BECAUSE THE BODY MAKES HORRIFYING, PUNISHINGLY BLEAK MUSIC DOESN’T MEAN THEY’RE NOT FUN GUYS. The Body’s Lee Buford (left) and Chip King. BY WA L K E R M AC M UR D O

243-2122

The Body, Portland’s most enigmatic heavy band, are difficult to pin down. But if there’s anything that defines the duo, it is probably drummer Lee Buford and guitarist-vocalist Chip King ’s unrelentingly negative view of human life. “I see how a lot of other people live. They’re happy, and it’s a foreign concept to me,” says Buford, the tall, heavily tattooed man responsible for the band’s thundering percussion and hissing electronics, from a booth at My Father’s Place in Southeast Portland. “When I see other people having kids, I can’t understand why they would think that this world is good enough to bring them into it. I’m glad that people feel like that. I just don’t understand it.” “I feel like it’s gotten to the point where instead of trying to be happy all of the time, I’m content just trying not to feel awful,” adds King. He speaks softly and has the authoritatively rounded physique of a good mall Santa. In an alternative universe, he would be many kids’ favorite kindergarten teacher; in this one, his howls reflect piercing anguish in its purest, most abstracted form. “It seems better than trying harder to have those few minutes of, ‘Yeah! Great!’” The Body is releasing two albums this year, both showcasing different aspects of the band’s weaponized weirdness. The first, for the venerable and adventurous Thrill Jockey label, is the cheerily titled No One Deserves Happiness. Taking the self-loathing industrial pop of Nine Inch Nails during the Broken era to its logical conclusion, it contrasts buoyant, 808-accented electronic beats with guitar murk, whining electronics and howling vocals. (Thrill Jockey’s press release claims the band set out to make “the grossest pop album of all time,” and cites Beyoncé as an influence.) The other is One Day You Will Ache Like I Ache, a collaborative release with Maryland extreme punk act Full of Hell. In contrast to No One, it is an explosion of pure fury, a sustained avalanche of pummeling blast-beats, violent and atonal riffing and King and Full of Hell’s Dylan Walker trading shrieks before the whole thing breaks down into a crumbling wreckage of feedback. King and Buford came up through the DIY punk scene in Fayetteville, Ark., where they have been creating some of the most unusually accessible heavy music

together since the late ’90s. “In the ’80s and ’90s, being a punk in Arkansas was awesome, because it was such a tight-knit community,” Buford says. Says King: “A big DIY scene grew up around Fayetteville, which was good, as the young kids didn’t have a lot to do, because Fayetteville is a college town. All of a sudden, there was this huge thing to rally around, with a lot of different shows and a lot of different kinds of bands playing together. When Lee and I first started to play, I thought this would be a good thing to do. We ended up jelling together really well playing as a two piece.” King moved to Providence, R.I., in 2003, with Buford joining him shortly after. In the early 2000s, Providence’s economic misfortune made it a haven for punks, with ample empty warehouses perfect for use as art and music spaces. Throughout the middle the decade, the Body recorded a string of EPs, along with a self-titled full-length in 2004. All the Waters of the Earth Turn to Blood, the band’s second album, features choral vocals and industrialized dubstep rhythms, but came doused in enough feedback and rage to trick music journalists the world over into thinking it was a metal album.

“I see how a lot of other people live. They’re happy, and it’s a foreign concept to me.” —Lee Buford Buford and King moved to Portland in 2012, partially because living through several brutally cold New England winters in an unheated warehouse detracted from Providence’s roguish charm. “The West Coast is kind of like the South, in that people are friendly, and there isn’t really anything to do in Arkansas,” Buford says. “So we just ended up here.” Despite their aggressive music and frequent collaborations with musicians working more directly in the metal vein, Buford and King have spoken extensively about being displeased with having the “metal” tag ascribed to them. “I think that being in Portland has soured me on metal,” Buford says. “I liked punk and metal and hip-hop growing up because I didn’t really fit in listening to other stuff. Metal here is cool. It defeats

the purpose. I feel a lot of metal is posturing. ‘We’re doing this scary thing and we’re spooky dudes,’ and it’s just like, ‘C’mon. You’re not like that in real life.’” The Body’s output since relocating to Portland has been one of incremental refinement toward a corrupted pop sound almost completely unique in contemporary heavy music. When viewed in the context of their listening habits, the Body’s evolution makes sense. In recent interviews, Buford and King have shared a serious desire to collaborate with Taylor Swift, Lykke Li, the Weeknd and Robyn. (They even attended effervescent Canadian pop singer Carly Rae Jepsen’s show at Wonder Ballroom earlier this month.) Those would be strong additions to their already formidable résumé of collaborations, which includes projects with New Jersey black metallers Krieg, British electronic musician the Haxan Cloak and Baton Rouge sludge act Thou. “I am not a good musician,” Buford says. “So it’s fun to say, ‘Here’s my idea. You can do this and I can’t’—especially with Full of Hell, as Dave [Bland] is an animal drummer.” “We would say, ‘This part sounds cool,’ and we’d just do whatever we want on there and layer it up,” King adds. “We would say we need some explosion sounds from one guy and blast beats from another. It was a pretty good process.” That collaborative spirit would seem to oppose its members’ bleak outlook on existence. But Buford and King aren’t so cynical as to disavow the occasional kindness of strangers. For instance, as our conversation at My Father’s Place was winding to a close, a man, who later identified himself as “Jimmy,” bursts into the bar to inform them that their white Ford van was in the process of being towed. It’s saved by a $61 fine paid in cash to the tow-truck driver, plus two packs of Camel Wides as a thank-you gift to Jimmy. It’d seem to be another confirmation of the meaningless suffering of everyday existence. But despite the punishing negativity of their music, Buford and King have learned to take life’s obstacles in stride. “Me and Chip aren’t just like, ‘Life sucks!’” Buford says. “We’re fun guys to be around. We just feel this way internally. We’re not just complaining about the world all of the time. We just accept it and try to live our lives the best we can.” SEE IT: The Body plays High Water Mark, 6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., with Taurus and Muscle & Marrow, on Saturday, March 19. 9 pm. $8 advance, $10 day of show. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC C O U R T E S Y O F N E VA K N O T T

IN MEMORIAM

Andrew Loomis, 1961-2016 REMEMBERING THE PORTLAND PUNK ICON. On March 8, Andrew Loomis, drummer for Pacific Northwest punk legends Dead Moon, died at age 54, roughly a year after being diagnosed with lymphoma. As news spread through Portland, stories emerged on social media, painting a portrait of a uniquely charming rogue. We asked a few of Loomis’ friends, contemporaries and admirers to share their memories. Read more at wweek.com. “There’s a lot of people you love in your life, and then there’s other people you can’t imagine what your life would have been like without meeting them. He was one of the most cheerful, lovable, most all-accepting people I’ve ever met in my life. He really lit up our lives, and was really the catalyst, as far as I’m concerned, as to why Dead Moon went over the way it did. He had an incredible way with people, and unfortunately, he was better to everyone else than to himself. It’s going to be a way duller world without him in it.” —Dead Moon’s Toody Cole “I saw Dead Moon in ’97 or ’98 at the old La Luna. I wish I could say that Dead Moon changed my life that night, but I just wasn’t ready. Andrew Loomis, though, completely blew me away. He was a sweat-drenched showman. Every time he hit his drums, these geysers of water would shoot up into the air, and whenever there was a pause in the music, he looked like he was communing with the gods. Andrew Loomis was obviously a rock star of the highest caliber.” —Casey Jarman, former WW music editor “I have a lot of stories about drinking or partying, but I especially like the ones that show how witty he was. He could charm the pants off anyone—literally! We went to a bar once, and within 15 minutes of being there he got a girl to trade pants with him because he liked hers better. They switched right in the middle of the bar!” —Don’t’s Jenny Connors “Andrew Loomis was one of the most charming humans I ever met, but also a scoundrel. He could be something of a jerk, cracking jokes at your expense and picking on you, but always with a light,

tongue-in-cheek sensibility. He forever loved to call me Ben Dover. When I heard of his passing, I posted on Facebook that no one ever picked on me quite like Andrew—and that no one else was allowed to.” —Ben Munat, former Satyricon booker “His drink was the Loomis: vodka, orange juice and a lime. Andrew and I were always very excited to see each other, probably because we were drunk all the time, but he was a good friend. He was still trying to get me to sneak some booze in his ‘virgin Loomis’ the last time he came in a few months ago.” —Ryan Stowe, co-owner of the Know “When my son was about 3, he was really into drumming. So for Christmas I went to Guitar Center and got a ‘real’ drum kit. It’s Christmas Eve. So after the kid finally falls asleep at like 1 am, I start trying to put together this drum kit. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been more confused in my life. I am scanning my brain as to who I know that’s a drummer, that I can call at 2 am Christmas morning. There’s only one logical answer: Andrew Loomis! He sat on the phone with me till about 5:45, putting together this drum kit. I can’t tell you all how much I’m going to miss Andrew. He would do absolutely anything for his people.” —Jason Keebler, Dante’s bartender “Andrew changed my life. I met him at the Virginia Cafe 30 years ago. The moment I saw him walk into the bar I knew he was someone different, someone full of life, smart and witty. He had a smile for each person, a joke, a tease, a handshake. It has been a hard few months, watching as his health diminished. Through it all, his strong spirit shined through, and most days he did smile.” —Neva Knott, Loomis’ girlfriend “Andrew Loomis epitomized the best of Portland. He never took himself too seriously, he never shortchanged an audience, and he always gave everything he had to each and every performance. I’m touring in Europe right now, and everywhere I go, when they find out that I’m from Portland, they ask about Dead Moon and specifically Andrew Loomis. Andrew is gone, but he will never be forgotten!” —Fernando Viciconte MORE: A wake for Andrew Loomis is scheduled for March 25 at Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St.

HEADOUT P.23 Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC

DATES HERE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

PROFILE C O U R T E S Y O F E C S TAT I C P E A C E

Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines. Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@ wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16 Like a River: A Celebration of the Life and Music of Jimmy Boyer

[FOLK WAKE] In January, the Portland roots scene lost a true original in Jimmy Boyer. A member of the Freak Mountain Ramblers, among other groups, Boyer was a beloved ﬁxture of the LaurelThirst folk scene. Tonight, musicians, friends and family gather to pay tribute to the man former bandmate Bingo Richey remembers as “a fucking genius” who “always rooted for the underdogs.” Kennedy School, 5736 NE 33rd Ave. 6:30 pm. Free. All ages.

THURSDAY, MARCH 17 Young Fathers, Rasheed Jamal

[TWILIGHT POP] In Young Fathers, one hears the ghost of TV on the Radio haunting the Mercury-winning U.K. trio’s taste. One hears R&B and hip-hop, grime and bebop, ragga and drum-and-bass and the bottle, can and butt detritus of a thousand harsh but hip nights, simmering through expensive but slightly staticky speakers. One hears pop music as indulgence, and when Alloysious, Kayus and G return to Holocene a year removed from last April’s White Men Are Black Men Too, we’ll hear a little bit of everything from a band that doesn’t seem to hold anything back. DOM SINACOLA. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St. 8:30 pm. $15. 21+.

FRIDAY, MARCH 18 Acid Mothers Temple, Orphan Goggles, Adventurous Sleeping

[HEAVY PSYCH] After the departure of their rhythm section toward the end of 2015, Japanese psych mainstays Acid Mothers Temple proclaimed a new era for themselves. Led by guitarist Kawabata Makoto, the group and its new members haven’t set anything to tape. But with the fecundity of recordings undertaken by the collective in its 21 years of performing, a few musical stances have become reasonably well-established: You’re either getting a full-on rock freakout or a noise fantasy. Last year’s Benzaiten was almost evenly split between the two. Whichever way the Acid Mothers veer in their latest live incarnation, it’s almost certain to be a spectacle. DAVE CANTOR. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. $14. 21+.

SATURDAY, MARCH 19 The Prids, Helvetia, Hollow Sidewalks

[PUNK] The Prids formed over 20 years ago, in Missouri. Since then, founders David Frederickson and Mistina La Fave have moved to Portland, married, divorced and suffered numerous health problems, but they have kept playing through it all. Falling somewhere between Pavement and Interpol, the noise-pop four-piece is currently promoting a Kickstarter campaign to release its ﬁrst album in six years. They should pair well with Helvetia, a spacy-psych four-piece from Portland that released

CONT. on page 35 32

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Hush Arbors

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16 When it comes to his music, Keith Wood is a fickle man. The earliest work he produced under the name Hush Arbors was populated with a lot of oddly pitched noises. But it’s possible the thrum of all those strange sounds have nothing to do with what the project will, could or even should sound like. “My ultimate fantasy for a band would sound like the Flying Burrito Brothers in 1969,” says Wood, who moved to Portland last summer, in that warbly voice that’s greeted listeners on each successive Hush Arbors release. “I mean, it wouldn’t sound anything like that. But in my mind, doing something along those lines would be something I’d like.” Beginning more than 10 years ago, Wood’s project has issued a slew of proper studio efforts and one-off tapes. Each encompasses only brief entanglements with whatever the songwriter is engaged with at the time of recording. Hush Arbors’ first few dispatches hedge toward the most ambient strains of folk music, eventually bursting forth with squiggly electric guitar jams. Gualala Blues, Wood’s most recent release, draws it back to Takoma-inflected guitar pieces, works he says serve as sketches for the full-fledged band he’s trying to put together. Halfway through the disc, “Point Arena Blues” crops up, whispering a melody befitting a childhood in Virginia’s Blue Ridge Mountains. It’s a place he doesn’t visit too frequently. But the time Wood spent there is stamped all over Gualala. “When Jason and I were kids, we definitely rebelled against what was around us,” Wood says, referring to a shared childhood with jazz bassist Jason Ajemian, who recently went on tour with Helado Negro. “I remember turning 17 or 18 and getting back into bluegrass and old-time music and coming around to country music. It took a while, pounding out the Ramones and Black Flag, to get that out.” Perhaps those extremes—bucolic Americana and punk tirades—explain the terrain Wood has covered, including a stint in Thurston Moore’s Chelsea Light Moving. For a time, though, the unruly contrast got wrapped up and tagged as some sort of proper musical movement: “freak folk.” “I’d just bought The Wire issue that had the David Keenan ‘New Weird America’ article in it, and Sunburned [Hand of the Man] was on the cover,” Wood says. “I’d just played a gig with Ben Chasny, opened up for him in Asheville. I’d thrown the magazine in the backseat and we went up to the mountains to go hiking the day after the gig. I pulled it out and he was like, ‘What is this?’ That’s so funny that it takes someone who’s so far away from it to actually give it a name. I don’t think any of us ever thought of it as a cohesive thing.” It never quite coalesced. And with Wood moving from city to city, the ensemble that’s backed him has changed as frequently as the backdrop in which it performs. The newest iteration of Hush Arbors hasn’t quite fused yet. Wood says his upcoming set will comprise variants of all those solo acoustic blueprints. And while the guitarist, Sun Foot’s Ron Burns, and Aaron Mullan negotiate a full-band scenario, Wood is looking to stay busy. “I’ve got an English degree I’ve been working on for 20 years that I might try to finish,” he says. DAVE CANTOR. Keith Wood makes America weird again.

SEE IT: Hush Arbors play Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., with Dreamboat and WL, on Wednesday, March 16. 8:30 pm. $7. 21+.

Congratulations to all Best New Bands,

– Thank you to our Best New Band Sponsors –

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

PHOTO BY THOMAS TEAL

and thank you to Boone Howard, Mic Capes, Cat Hoch and Chanti Darling for playing Willamette Week’s Best New Band Showcase

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC its eighth album, Dromomania, last year, a 24-track psychedelic dream that combines playful lyrics with fuzzy electric guitar riffs, like a soundtrack to an acid trip that’s actually fun. Hollow Sidewalks is a punk band with unhinged vocals that verge on controlled screaming, like if the Slits were heavy smokers. SOPHIA JUNE. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave. 9:30 pm. $10. 21+.

Red Baraat, DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid

[WORLD PARTY] Good party music, like most of the world’s best comfort food, is a form of stew—high-energy melodies, swinging rhythms and the ability to force people onto their feet combined with local flavors and slow-cooked in the heads of coolminded musicians. In the case of New York’s Red Baraat (pronounced “bar-oth”), the ingredients include Washington, D.C., go-go funk, New Orleans second line, Atlanta hip-hop and the Punjabi music of Northern India, served up as a spicyhot, heavy-stepping dance fusion. PARKER HALL. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St. 9 pm. $18. 21+.

The Prettiots, Tents

[GIRL TALK] The Prettiots are like a golden-era country trio, with enunciated vocals and narrative lyrics detailing everyday life. Just replace guitar with ukelele, stories about trucks for tales of making out with boys, and teleport them to Brooklyn. Last month, the band released its debut album, Funs Cool, 12 tracks of playful songs that sound like samples taken straight from sleepovers and summer camp sing-alongs. But this is indie pop for grown-up Girl Scouts: Lead singer Kay Kasparhauser has perfected a squeaky-clean timbre with a slight vibrato at the end, backed by stacks of perfect harmonies that get showcased in every song. SOPHIA JUNE. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Bim For Mayor Campaign Rally with Cool Nutz and the Domestics

[PUNK POLITICS] The little punkrock mayoral campaign that could rolls on. In case anyone was thinking And And And drummer mohawked Portland music lifer Bim Ditson was kidding about running for office, he recently rolled out a comprehensive platform centered around supporting local artists, and now, he’s working to galvanize the support of the arts community—which, frankly, shouldn’t be too hard. American pop classicists the Domestics and hip-hop vet Cool Nutz help the cause tonight. Hawthorne Theater, 1507 Cesar Chavez Blvd. 7:30 pm. Free. All ages.

Magma, Helen Money

[SPACE OPERA] In 1969, when classical drummer Christian Vander assembled a group of likeminded polymaths for the birth of zeuhl— their Carl Orff/John Coltranedappled stew of operatic metal and jazz fusion, led by vocals trilling the invented language Kobaïan—sci-fiminded Euro prog-rock was an honest-to-goodness genre. And still, nobody had heard anything like Magma. Over the decades, before their sudden reappearance last year, the legend of Magma had largely been kept alive through hushed whispers shared in record store basements. But now, the group’s off on a globally-ranging Endless Tour with genuine merchandise and even new material: the bristling complexities, triumphant choruses and bravura percussion of 2015’s typically ineffable Slag Tanz suite. JAY HORTON. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St. 8 pm. $25 advance, $30 day of show. 21+

SUNDAY, MARCH 20 Slayer, Testament, Carcass

[STILL SLAYIN’] Long-running metal acts are among the best live metal shows you can see. The musicians have been playing together for so long they’ve mastered the oftentimes

DATES HERE grueling technical aspects of their performances, know their crowd well enough to play all of the classics and have structured the show meticulously to blow the maximum amount of minds. Slayer is going to run through its most beloved tracks, mostly culled from its rawest, thrashiest early days, and hit all the marks. The crowd will go absolutely nuts, particularly for “Angel of Death” and “Raining Blood,” for which you had better have a plan, lest you want to be pulled into the most brutal rip tide of a circle pit you will ever experience. WALKER MACMURDO. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave. 7:30 pm. Free. Sold out.

MONDAY, MARCH 21 Kawehi

[POP] Hawaiian-born Kawehi from Kansas might play as a one-woman band—favoring loop pedals, beat boxing and quirky melodies—but her most recent EP, this year’s Interaktiv, is all about being collaborative. Funded through Kickstarter, the artist, who got her start covering the likes of Nirvana and Nine Inch Nails in viral videos, took theme and title suggestions from her backers while making the album. The result is seven tracks that switch between bright, radio-ready top-40 pop and FKA Twigs-style danger and weirdness. Dark mechanical ticks and faint, saccharine coos combine to sound like a music box stuck on play after the lid is closed. KATIE TODD. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. 21+.

Rob Crow’s Gloomy Place, Yeah Great Fine

[PROG POP] The list of bands Rob Crow has been involved with over the years is too long to include in this wee blurb. In short, the San Diego singer and multi-instrumentalist has been busy, most notably with progressive indie-rockers Pinback. His first release since quite publicly withdrawing from music shows no rust. Crow’s newest act, Gloomy Place, just released You’re Doomed. Be Nice, an expectedly guitar-heavy album built on percussive hooks and Crow’s mathy inclinations. It’s popular rock set in a low register, injected with a couple shots of adrenaline. MARK STOCK. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE Cesár E. Chavéz Blvd. 8 pm. $15. 21+.

Ty Dolla $ign

[CALIFORNIA R&B] Ty Dolla $ign has figured out what the rap game needs. Or maybe the rap game finally figured out Ty Dolla $ign. The 30-year-old Los Angeles-based singer, rap writer and producer has been catching listeners this year, with a solid debut in Free TC and eclipsing guest verses across the radio. Most notably, the rapper was tapped for The Life of Pablo’s finale, “Fade,” flexing his smooth, weighty cadence. Ty Dolla $ign is one of those artists who doesn’t have to say anything impressive to make you remember his delivery. It’s that voice that grabs you. MATT SCHONFELD. Wonder Ballroom, 128 NE Russell St., 284-8686. 7 pm. $25 advance, $28 day of show. All ages.

TUESDAY, MARCH 22 Smashing Pumpkins, Liz Phair

[CHERUB ROCK] For an artist so expressly concerned with maintaining relevance during the long walk down from multi-platinum ubiquity, enlisting former ‘90s compatriots as openers might seem like a dodgy maneuver. But Smashing Pumpkins’ recent jaunt with Marilyn Manson added a touch of comparative gravitas to, ahem, William Corgan’s second life as erstwhile rock star-in-winter. Bringing along Liz Phair on this acoustic-electro In Plainsong tour, there are worse ideas than adding a singer-songwriter whose influence always outshone a fitful

CONT. on page 37 Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC popularity. Though the Pumpkins’ 2014 album, Monuments to an Elegy, didn’t exactly set the world on fire, the streamlined succession of hook-laden pop-rock nuggets muted the bombast for a humbly rousing testament to the bloodyminded perseverance of craft. JAY HORTON. Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall, 1037 SW Broadway, 248-4335. 7:30 pm. $36.50-$66.50. All Ages.

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

[BIG BOSS MAN] Look, we all don’t have to agree on the greatness of Springsteen (see page 23) or 1980’s The River, which he and the E Street Band are playing in full tonight. But allow us on the other side of the aisle to offer a rejoinder: Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuce. MATTHEW SINGER. Moda Center, 1 N Center Ct. St. 7:30 pm. $65-$150. All ages.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD Jazz Society of Oregon Hall of Fame Induction Concert

[JAZZ GIANTS] Oregon’s nonprofit jazz society celebrates vocalist and educator Marilyn Keller, KMHD DJ Lynn Darroch, and the life of recently deceased jazz writer Wayne Thompson this evening, in music and words. A powerful singer with a deeply shaking vibrato, Keller will deliver favorites from her 35-year career, which spans continents, genres and generations of positively affected young people. A top talent whose influence can be felt all over the state, the singer will pull out all the stops tonight—even though nailing high notes and spreading the love is business as usual. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave. 7 pm Wednesday, March 16. $10. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

Darrell Grant, “The Territory”

[PIANO KING] If Portland were ever to re-create Harlem’s famed jazz portrait, Darrell Grant would almost certainly sit in the center. The head of Portland State University’s jazz department and a world-renowned jazz pianist, Grant in his compositions minds the gap between Herbie-esque post-bop and modern classical music. Tonight the prolific writer performs The Territory, a nine-movement composition commissioned by Chamber Music America. It’s a multifaceted piece, a small-group symphony that showcases the pianist’s exploration of art, community and the elements. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave. 7 pm Thursday, March 17. $12. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

The Ensemble

[PÄRT ATTACK] Arvo Pärt, who turns 80 this year, is one of the rare contemporary composers who draws legions of nonclassical fans to his solemn music’s sense of spirituality and timelessness. The Estonian composer has been called a “mystical minimalist,” but while Pärt’s so-called “tintinnabuli” (bell-like) style does feature clear, austere textures and consonant harmonies, it’s more contemplative than pulsating American minimalism, closer in spirit to the medieval sacred music that inspires much of it. For this candlelit concert, the Ensemble, composed of some of Portland’s finest classical singers, adds a string quartet, which permits maybe the widest variety of selections I’ve ever seen at a Pärt concert: three voices and three strings in “Stabat Mater,” four a cappella voices in “Most Holy Mother of God,” a string quartet alone in the popular “Fratres”; solo voices and strings in other works and, finally, four singers and a string quartet in the culminating “Missa Syllabica.” BRETT CAMPBELL. Lincoln Recital Hall at Portland State University, 1620 SW Park Ave., 224-9842. 4 pm Sunday, March 20. $25.

For more Music listings, visit

DATES HERE ALBUM REVIEWS

Radiation City SYNESTHETICA (POLYVINYL) [FUTURE POP] In terms of its origin story, Radiation City’s third album is a rare “abortedbreakup record.” So goes the narrative: Founding couple Cameron Spies and Lizzy Ellison were on the outs until the process of writing new material saved their relationship. That’s the press-release version, anyway. Synesthetica is touted as an “overhaul” of the Rad City sound, but it’s less a reinvention than a tilt of direction, away from the Space Age cabana pop that won them WW’s Best New Band poll in 2012 and edging closer to Goldfrappian sci-fi glam—and, in its delicious song titles (“Milky White,” “Sugar Broom,” “Fancy Cherries”), Cibo Matto. It was supposedly written in a fit of desperate spontaneity, but these are some of the most immaculately crafted songs in the career of a band that’s prided itself on songcraft. “Butter” exudes stylish, cinematic drama, while “Juicy” and “Milky White” have hooks primed for radio. Unknown Mortal Orchestra drummer Riley Geare, jumping behind the kit in the studio, gives the group a funky underpinning it never really had before, and the swirling, high-gloss production replaces the retro-futurist kitsch of its previous album, 2013’s Animals in the Median. Of course, that sense of kitsch was always a key element of the band’s unique appeal. That’s the tradeoff of Synesthetica: It is Radiation City’s best work yet, while also being the least distinctive. Making the record may have saved the band, but where it goes next is the truly interesting part. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: Radiation City plays Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., with Moon By You and Smokey Brights, on Saturday, March 19. 6 pm and 9:30 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. Early show all ages, late show 21+.

Candace NEW FUTURE (FOUND OBJECT) [TURNED-DOWN S H O E G A Z E ] Fo r a band that ostensibly flies the shoegaze flag, Candace sidesteps the ear-shattering mantra of the g enre’s other acts that play at pointlessly high volumes. On New Future, the group employs a similar palette of sonic manipulation— roomy static accented by swirling, reverb-heavy melodies—but the true merit is the overt pop sensibility of each track. Like an extremely fatigued Velocity Girl, or maybe Chan Marshall fronting Slowdive, Candace exists in that ideal middle ground where the presentation contains all the chic style of a cooler foregone era, while the substance is a sincere, emotive expression channeled into smartly dressed pop. “Midnight Blue” is upbeat enough to soundtrack a party bus speeding along Pacific Coast Highway, while “Disappearing” employs such a tender coda it’s easy to overlook the rusty armor of fuzz that surrounds Sarah Rose’s voice as she croons, “I think I’m disappearing, baby.” In addition to eschewing volume as a standard, Candace also excels at painting rich textures of sound for the trio’s whispered, high-end arpeggios to rest on. There’s a well-executed balance of earworm and ambient, so the tracks that are less immediately addictive reward repeat listens. CRIS LANKENAU.

INTERNAL STATE Performance SATURDAY, MARCH 19TH AT 5PM

Internal State is a Portland based punk band (featuring former members of 80’s PDX punk trio The Confidentials) that takes a step away from the city’s indie rock reputation, instead using post punk, new wave, and garage to create a sound that takes you into a whole new kind of right direction.

DAUGHTER

Meet & Greet SUNDAY, MARCH 20TH AT 1PM Daughter is the London-based trio of Elena Tonra (vocals, guitar), Igor Haefeli (guitar) and Remi Aguilella (drums). Starting life in 2010 as an outlet for the musings of college mates Elena and Igor, they soon gained attention (with two well received EPs) and their third member, Remi. Their debut full length, If You Leave, led them to international tours, televised performances, record deals (4AD & Glassnote) and two packed sets at Glastonbury Festival. Not To Disappear, the trio’s second full length album, is available now.

RAY GOREN

Performance MONDAY, MARCH 21ST AT 7PM Ray Goren is an explosive blues and rock guitarist who has been playing all around the Country for the better part of a decade. Despite his young age (Ray turns 16 this month), he has already shared the stage with BB King, Leon Russell, Robby Krieger, Buddy Guy, Jonny Lang, Alice Cooper and Eric Gales to name just a few.

SEE IT: Candace plays Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave., with Draemhouse, Cat Hoch and Talkative, on Thursday, March 17. 9 pm. $5. 21+. Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Nominate your favorites during our annual readersâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; poll 3/2â&#x20AC;&#x201C;3/30. Nomination Categories: Food & Drink Health & Body Arts & Culture Local Business/Service Personality/Media Night Life Outdoor Cannabis wweek.com/bop2016

Email advertising@wweek.com for promotional opportunities

Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR WED. MARch 16 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Michael Blake

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Arthur Moore; Blues Jam

Edgefield

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Sloan Martin of Beach Fire

hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th The Wonder Years

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St Dreamboat, WL, Hush Arbors

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Happy Whisky Funtime Artist Showcase with host Joel Medina

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave JSO Hall of Fame Induction Concert

Shamrock Shimmy: Tribe Mars and Popgoji at the Goodfoot

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Geoff Tate’s Operation: Mindcrime, Mike Prigodich Trio (lounge)

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St Young Fathers

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St Lee Allstar, Bleach Blonde Dudes, Mermaid in China

Kennedy School Theater

5736 N.E. 33rd Ave. Castletown, Kathryn Claire, Murray Irish Dancers

Kennedy School Theater

Mississippi Studios

McMenamins Al’s Den 303 SW 12th Ave Bevelers

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Just Lions

Sweet Basil Thai cuisine

3135 NE Broadway St Sweet Basil Music/Poetry Open Mic

2958 NE Glisan St Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters 3939 N Mississippi Ave Hillstomp

Muddy Rudder Public house 8105 SE 7th Ave, Sleepy Eyed Johns

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave Breaking Benjamin with Starset

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave CANDACE with Draemhouse, Cat Hoch, and Talkative

The White Eagle

Tardis Room

Turn Turn Turn

The headwaters

836 N Russell St Heavy Gone Acoustic 8 NE Killingsworth St CMG Outset Series w/ Bren’t Lewiis Ensemble & Tenses

1218 N Killingsworth St Loop Madness 55 N.E. Farragut Colores del Alma

The historic Old church

Alberta Street Pub

1422 SW 11th Ave Chloë Agnew ‘St.Patrick’s Day Celebration’ Live in Portland, OR

Analog cafe & Theater

2026 NE Alberta St NEIGHBORHOOD BRATS

ThUR. MARch 17 1036 NE Alberta St Cascade Crescendo

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd Cruel Hand

Artichoke Music

3130 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Songwriter Roundup

Ash Street Saloon 225 SW Ash Rum Rebellion

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Uli Jon Roth - the Ultimate Guitar Experience W/ Jennifer Batten

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St Casey Neill & The Norway Rats

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Tough LPyle

Edgefield

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. St. Patrick’s Day Across the Land with Brothers Dunne, Dancehall Days, Left Coast Country, The Moonshine, Scratchdog Stringband, The Stomptowners

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge 2845 SE Stark St

3130 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Friday Night Coffeehouse

Blue Room at cartlandia

Jo Rotisserie & Bar

5736 N.E. 33rd Ave. Like A River: A celebration of the life and music of Jimmy Boyer

Artichoke Music

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave Darrell Grant, “The Territory”

The Know

The Ranger Station

4260 SE 41st Ave Open Mic with host Dave Kelsay

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing! Featuring Hot Club Time Machine, Pink Lady & John Bennett Jazz Band

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St The Mutineers

Turn Turn Turn

8 NE Killingsworth St Open Mic

Twiight cafe and Bar

1420 SE Powell Brown Erbe/WhyKnow?/ Chris Marshall of Rare Diagram/Streakin’ Healys

FRI. MARch 18 Alberta Rose Theatre 3000 NE Alberta St Trace Bundy

Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St The Moonshine and Their Rainy Day Friends

Analog cafe & Theater 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd

LAST WEEK LIVE

6920 SE 52nd Avenue The Living Souls

Ash Street Saloon

2348 SE Ankeny The Rubatos present Global Shoegaze

[MARCH 16-22]

Area 52

Jade Lounge

LaurelThirst Public house

715 NW 23rd Ave Wednesday Jazz

4th Annual Brazilian Carnaval Ball; Rabbl Showcase ft. FartBarf (Los Angeles), Kulululu, the Toads

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

E M I LY j o A n g R E E n E

= WW Pick. highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. to HAVE YoUR EVEnt LIStED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 nW Quimby St., Portland, oR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

225 SW Ash Eight53

8145 SE 82nd Ave. JT Wise Band

clinton Street Theater 2522 SE Clinton St Youth Music Show

DISJEcTA

8371 N Interstate The Music That Makes Us

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Tinsley Ellis

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St This Will Destroy You

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Bridgecreek

holocene

1001 SE Morrison St Dimitri

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny The Julians

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave The Ty Curtis Band

Jo Rotisserie & Bar

715 NW 23rd Ave Friday Night Blues & Jazz

Magnolia’s corner

4075 NE Sandy Blvd Free Live Music at The Magnolia Wine Bar

Marylhurst University

17600 SW Pacific Highway Classical Guitar Concert at Marylhurst

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Acid Mothers Temple

Muddy Rudder Public house 8105 SE 7th Ave, Cafe Cowboys

Revolution hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Pigs On The Wing: Dark Side Of The Rainbow

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave Billionaire Buck / Oh No

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave ANUHEA + Through The Roots: The Love Child Tour - with special guests Th...

Sun Gate center 2215 NE Alberta Tambura Sound Meditation

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Rentz Leinbach//Big How//TBA

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Agata (Oakland, CA)

The Ranger Station

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd Spun Honey & Wooden Sleepers

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St Ma Fondue, The Pat Stilwell Band; The Sportin’ Lifers

The Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave Jugapalooza: Dance Edition

PRETTY VACANT: It’s a little unsettling to look Justin Bieber in the eyes. If you’re familiar with the idea of “the uncanny valley,” it’s sort of like that. He appears lifelike enough, but there’s something that’s just…off, like a hologram turned flesh. It was possible to catch glimpses of this phenomena at Moda Center on March 13, even from the cheap seats, whenever his face popped up on the jumbotron, etched with a strange remove from the bigtime arena pop show happening around him. As a spectacle, it was nonstop and nonsensical. Bieber entered dangling in a glass cube on loan from David Blaine, and spent 90 minutes being hoisted onto various platforms and sucked down pneumatic tubes. Motifs were designated seemingly at random: the Renaissance for “Where Are U Now”; electro-Tron for “Boyfriend”; skate punk for “What Do You Mean?” He backflipped on a giant trampoline, ripped a drum solo and ended soaked in water, all of it accompanied by an unending chorus of joyous screeching from the crowd. It was the set’s quieter moments, though, that underscored his sense of detachment. Banter about how excited he was to go fishing on his day off sounds personal and folksy on paper, but it came off weird and unnatural, like a bleach-blond Terminator struggling to mimic human interaction. For the screaming masses, simply being in the same room with Bieber was enough. But for those who caught his gaze, it was hard to feel like pop’s original social-media superstar hasn’t been catfishing us this whole time. MATTHEW SINGER. The Whiskey Bar

31 NW 1ST AVE Vamarcha’s Birthday Bash

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St The Last Draw

Tigard Public Library

13500 SW Hall Blvd. The Beautiful Sounds of Brazilian Music

Twilight cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell Coyote Bred/My Life in Black and White/ Brigadier

Vie de Boheme 1530 SE 7th Ave Soul Vaccination

SAT. MARch 19 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St The Green Room

SISYPHEAN CONSCIENCE / Aenimus / When They Invade / Flesh Of The Sun / Aethere / Psyclops Live in Portland

Bunk Bar

1028 SE Water Ave. The Prids, Helvetia, Hollow Sidewalks

clinton Street Theater 2522 SE Clinton St THE CLINTON STREET STOMP!

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Red Baraat with DJ Anjali & the Incredible Kid

Doug Fir Lounge

high Water Mark 6800 NE Martin Luther King Jr Blvd

Star Theater

The Body

13 NW 6th Ave MURDER BY DEATH with Tim Barry

Jimmy Mak’s

Sun Gate center

221 NW 10th Ave Paul Creighton Project

Jo Bar & Rotisserie

715 NW 23rd Ave Saturday Night Spins (funk, soul, R&B, deep house)

Kelly’s Olympian

2215 NE Alberta Equinox: An Evening With Sara Tone & The Ancient Wild

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave White Bear Polar Tundra + Era Coder + Spiller

Duffs Garage

Love hive Yoga

The Laurelthirst Pub

2530 NE 82nd Ave Gary Bennett

Edgefield

Equinox Restaurant and Bar

1847 E Burnside St, Equinox Kirtan with Johanna & the Bhakti Tribe

Melody Ballroom

615 SE Alder St BLUES HARMONICA SUMMIT

Mississippi Studios

830 North Shaver John Chap

3939 N Mississippi Ave Radiation City

First Baptist church

Muddy Rudder Public house

Ash Street Saloon

909 SW 11th Avenue Kalakendra presents Carnatic Flute by Shashank

Bossanova Ballroom

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge

722 E Burnside St

7600 N Hereford Ave Free Neighborhood Concert - Portsmouth

1507 SE 39th The Salt Riot

830 E. Burnside St The Prettiots

Arlene Schnitzer concert hall

225 SW Ash The Chicharones

hawthorne Theatre

The Know

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Kris Deelane’s Sun Celebration: Spring Equinox

1037 SW Broadway Oregon Symphony presents Brahms, Haydn & Strauss

St. Andrew and All Souls

426 SW Washington St Faded Pages, Louder Oceans, Sell The Farm

Arlene Schnitzer concert hall

1037 SW Broadway Brahms, Haydn & Strauss

OBJECT HEAVY with DJ LOGIC

2845 SE Stark St

8105 SE 7th Ave, Ron Robbins

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave Northwest Hard Rock Invitational

2026 NE Alberta St LEE COREY OSWALD 2958 NE Glisan St Yonder Blue Album Release Party

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Left Coast Country, Josiah Payne CD Release, Beach Fire

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Black Sheep Black

Tony Starlight Showroom

1125 SE Madison Tony Starlight’s Rat Pack Tribute

Twilight cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell

“No Pants Records Showcase” W/ Toxic Kid/ Secnd Best/Mr. Plow/ Captain Wails and the Harpoons/Alex Kirk Amen

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St Magma

SUN. MARch 20 Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St Rock n’ Roll Flea Market at Doug Fir Lounge

Edgefield

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Will West & The Friendly Strangers

hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Kirko Bangz at; Tomorrows Bad Seeds (lounge)

Jo Rotisserie & Bar 715 NW 23 Jo Rotisserie & Bar Latin Jazz Brunch

Lincoln Recital hall, Room 75

1620 SW Park Ave The Ensemble presents The Music of Arvo Part

McMenamins Al’s Den

303 SW 12th Ave The Punishment Brothers (Cruel & Unusual)

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave

Cont. on page 40 Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Irish Jam

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd King Woman (ca) // Drowse // A Volcano

Rontoms

600 E Burnside St RONTOMS SUNDAY SESSIONS: Fog Father [Tour Kickoff & Video Release] // Battlehooch [SF]

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave Slayer w/ Testament, Carcass

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St HEIRESS (WA ex-Himsa)

The Rose Room Bar and Grill 8102 NE Killingsworth Street “A Life For Lynn” A Benefit for Lynn Kahl

The White Eagle

836 N Russell St The Portland Sound

Vie de Boheme

1530 SE 7th Ave Chuck Israels Jazz Cafe

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St Daughter

MON. MARCH 21 Dante’s

350 West Burnside Karaoke From Hell

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St Kawehi at Doug Fir Lounge

Edgefield

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Goovy Wallpaper with Kory Quinn

Hawthorne Theatre 1507 SE 39th Rob Crow’s Gloomy Place

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Caleb Paul, Michael Conley

Muddy Rudder Public House 8105 SE 7th Ave. Lloyd Jones

St David of Wales Church

2800 SE Harrison The Everyone Welcome Community Choir

Twilight Cafe and Bar 1420 SE Powell DFMK

Wonder Ballroom

128 NE Russell St Ty Dolla $ign

TUES. MARCH 22 Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Smashing Pumpkins, Liz Phair

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St Hunny

Jade Lounge

2348 SE Ankeny Fourth Tuesdays with Edward Cohen & Friends

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave Heatwave Jazz & Show Band

LauralThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St, Kent M. Smith & Jay Cobb Anderson Solo Show

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Jackstraw

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave Michael Hurley

Moda Center

Ash Street Saloon

1 N Center Court St Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band: The River Tour

Dickey Doo’s Pub

Raven and Rose

Doug Fir Lounge

St. Johns Christian Church

225 SW Ash Sidewalk Slam

6618 SE Powell Blvd Jam Night at Dickey Doo’s Pub, Hosted by Winn Alexander 830 E Burnside St Phil Cook

Duffs Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Big Bossa Jazz Jam

Edgefield

2126 S. W. Halsey ST. Honey Don’t

Ford Food and Drink 2505 SE 11th Ave #101 Pagan Jug Band

Goodfoot Pub & Lounge

2845 SE Stark St JIMMY RUSSELL’S PARTY CITY 2034 (Free)

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE 39th Counterparts at Hawthorne Theatre 3/22

1331 SW Broadway Na Rósaí - Traditional Irish Music

8044 N Richmaond Ave. St. Johns-Cathedral Park Tuesday Noon Chamber Music

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Couches (SF)

The Ranger Station

4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd Bluegrass Tuesdays, w/ Pete Kartsounes and Friends

The White Eagle 836 N Russell St Spank!

Vie de Boheme 1530 7th Ave Salsa Dancing

COURTESY OF WINDISH AGENCY

XRAY.FM’s 2nd Birthday Party

ore t S k e e e t te W m a l l i W Th e

$15 off! ($50 value for $35)

TreaT yourself wiTh a DubDubDeal! We’ve got plenty of affordable offers to start the year off right. Find certificate discounts to your favorite Portland restaurants like Bare Bones Cafe.

wweek.com/dubdubdeals 40

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Young Fathers play Holocene on Thursday, March 17.

Where to drink this week.

1. Pop Tavern

PAU L M A N S O N

BAR REVIEW

825 N Killingsworth St. The former Ducketts—a Killingsworth dive that dove deeper than Cousteau—has been reborn as a ﬁne, punky patio hang with old show posters for Wire and the Gun Club on its exposed-brick wall, and a thick-ass burger that costs a mere $6.50 with fries.

2. Flying Fish

2340 NE Sandy Blvd., 971-806-6747 providoreﬁnefoods.com.

Grab an imported beer from the fridge at Providore Fine Foods or pour one from Flying Fish’s bar, pop the top at grocery-store prices and down oysters straight from the oyster farm for 2 bucks apiece.

3. Fat Head’s

131 NW 13th Ave., 820-7721, fatheadsportland.com. The two best-loved IPAs in town in a blind tasting, Semper FiPA and IBUsive, were brewed here. But don’t miss the beautifully hoppy, low-IBU Built for Speed pale.

4. Loyal Legion

710 SE 6th Ave., 235-8272, loyallegion.com. Above Loyal Legion is a huge event hall called the Evergreen, where beer people like to throw parties. Well, as of now that huge hall will also open up for every Timbers away game, ﬁtting a whole cheering section worth of the Army. Home games are shown downstairs only.

5. Great Notion Brewing

2204 NE Alberta St., No. 101, 548-4491, greatnotionpdx.com. Great Notion is now tapping its beers at full capacity, including two of Portland’s top ﬁve IPAs: fruity, hoppy to the point of opaque and not bitter at all. But we also liked the maple imperial stout.

CERTAIN CONCESSIONS: The Timbers Army has had a rough time with bars. Since their team joined Major League Soccer in 2011, fans have lost three of their favorite haunts near the stadium—the Matador, Blitz and the Bitter End (twice). Back in August 2013, Timbers owner Merritt Paulson made a big promise. If the team won the MLS Cup, he tweeted, he’d buy the fans a pub. Well, the Timbers won the league title last season. And Paulson followed up—well, sorta. Double Post (1844 SW Morrison St.) isn’t what most people call a “bar.” Actually, it’s just a regular Providence Park concession stand with wood paneling and better beer. It’s open exactly as long as other concession stands on the concourse and doesn’t offer anywhere to sit. A press release promised “iconography from the Timbers Army and the Knockout Round match against Sporting KC during the Timbers’ 2015 championship run,” but the Army regular who accompanied me couldn’t spot any such iconography. On opening day, fans were divided about this. “Merritt Paulson, you cock tease!” one yelled. Others happily pointed out that the beer list really was good and included Pfriem’s Belgian Strong Dark, a 10 percent monster poured in full stadium pints for $9.50, which is pretty much the regular bar price. Any pro sports fan should expect to be disappointed by the billionaires in charge, but few fans get such great beer to console themselves. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Euphoria Nightclub 315 SE 3rd Ave TYDI

Holocene

WED. MARCH 16 Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon (industrial, EBM, electro)

Plew’s Brew’s

8409 N Lombard St Wiggle Room (electronica, disco, house, hip-hop, downtempo)

There Be Monsters

1308 SE Morrison st DJ SARS (funk, soul, garage, New Wave)

THUR. MARCH 17 Charlie Horse Saloon

627 SE Morrison St. Lee Hazlewood Vinyl Night with DJ Ricky Pang, DJ Whippoorwill

Euphoria Nightclub 315 SE 3rd Ave Doctor P

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave

Shadowplay (EBM, goth, industrial, darkwave)

Moloko

3967 N Mississippi Ave Brazilian Night with Nik Nice & Brother Charlie

FRI. MARCH 18 Euphoria Nightclub 315 SE 3rd Ave UZ

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St Act Right with Dimitri, Maxx Bass, Nathan Detroit

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Electronomicon with DJ Straylight

SAT. MARCH 19

1001 SE Morrison St 50: A Possible History of Dance Music with DJs Cooky Parker, Gregarious, Freaky Outty

Jo Bar & Rotisserie

715 NW 23rd Ave Saturday Night Spins (funk, soul, R&B, deep house)

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Sabbath with Miz Margo and DJ Horrid (dark & spooky)

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi The Central Experience with Gulls & Mr. Peepers

SUN. MARCH 20 Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave COSPLAY/J-POP/VOCALOID/ ANIME DANCE PARTY SUPER FUN!!

MON. MARCH 21 Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave DJ Ipod

TUES. MARCH 22 Fifth Avenue Lounge

125 NW 5th Avenue Grooverider, DJSS and Drumsound & Bassline Smith (drum’n’bass)

Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave BONES with DJ Aurora & DJ Acid Rick (dark dance)

There Be Monsters

1308 SE Morrison st Beats and Boards (lounge, downtempo, deep house, future bass, down techno)

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Come As You Are (‘90s dance)

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

PERFORMANCE = WW Pick. Highly recommended. COURTESY OF NORTHWEST DANCE PROJECT

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead. Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ (espitz@wweek.com). Comedy: MIKE ACKER (macker@wweek.com). Dance: ENID SPITZ (dance@wweek.com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: espitz@wweek.com.

OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Chicago

It’s been a while, Zeta-Jones. The Tony, Olivier and Grammy-winning sing-along about pretty jazz dolls killing and high kicking tours to Portland. Extra shows 7:30 pm Thursday, March 17 and 7:30 pm Sunday, March 27. No show 2 pm Sunday, March 13. Brunish Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 800-273-1530. 7:30 pm Friday-Saturday, 2 pm SaturdaySunday, through March 27. $25-$28.

Davita’s Harp

What do you get when you mix a Jewish woman and an Episcopalian man who’ve both become atheist communists? Chaim Potok’s bildungsroman about a young woman in 1930s New York City who, understandably so, is confused about her religious identity. Presented in an interesting collaboration between Portland’s Hispanic Milagro Theatre group and the Jewish Theatre Collaborative. Extra show 7:30 pm Wednesday, March 30. Milagro Theatre, 525 SE Stark St., 236-7253. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, March 19-April 9. $30.

The Lady Aoi

Four years ago, when Imago Theatre put on the dark and post-Brechtian kabuki The Black Lizard, our review called it “a precise clockwork of profane surprise.” Their Lady Aoi promises at least the same. In this erotic Japanese ghost story about a woman hospitalized for “sex complexes,” the Lady Aoi is tormented nightly by the living ghost of her husband’s ex-lover. Imago’s stylized take on the ancient Noh drama includes sound experiments like looping and miked actors, and it marks the end of director Jerry Mouawad’s 18-month hiatus from Portland stages. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 231-9581. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, March 18-27. $15-$25.

No Man’s Land

Put Mean Girls into the not-so-hallowed halls of an all-girls Catholic school, and you get this semi-improvised play that won a full run at Action/Adventure Theatre by being the audience favorite during the 2015 Pilot Season. Over four “episodes” (this week is episode two), new girl Andy Sawyer has run-ins with nuns and ﬁelds anti-abortion teachings. SOPHIA JUNE. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm Thursday-Sunday, through April 3. $15.

NEW REVIEWS Heathers: The Musical

Triangle Productions’ candy-colored musical version of the 1988 cult classic is slightly lighter, but with the same body count. Picture fewer F bombs, and when mean girls get knocked oﬀ, they hang around as specters to enjoy the show. Hilarious song and dance numbers make excellent use of the movie’s best lines— you’ll be singing along to “My Dead Gay Son” in no time. On-brand bonuses include a pre-show signature cocktail called the Heathers-Up, snack-size bags of Heather C’s favorite snack—corn nuts—and scrunchies on sale to beneﬁt a local crisis hotline. Bright-Faced Malia Tippets shines as the outsider Veronica, particularly in the duet “Seventeen” with the darkly-funny and brooding J.D. (Ethan Crysal). Extra show at 7 pm Sunday,

April 3. MERYL WILLIAMS. Triangle Theater, 1725 NE Sandy Blvd., 2395919. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, March 17-April 2; 2 pm Sunday, March 20 & 27. $15-$35.

We Are Proud to Present a Presentation About the Herero of Namibia, Formerly Known as Southwest Africa, From the German Sudwestafrika, Between the Years 1884–1915 The new show at Artists Rep is a theatrical mic drop. The audience sat in silence for three minutes (I timed it) when the show ended on opening night, except for the sound of a few people trying to swallow their sobs. It’s a hilarious, belly-laughing show about German soldiers committing genocide in Namibia. The troops stationed there at the turn of the 20th century colonized Herero land, forced its residents to build a railroad, then took their cattle and exiled them into the desert, wiping out 80 percent of Namibia’s Herero population. But playwright Jackie Sibblies Drury, in an unexpected stroke of genius, packages this dense history as a presentation by a group of lovable but deeply ﬂawed actors who are workshopping a play about the genocide. On a mostly empty stage, Chantal Degroat leads a cast that includes “White Man,” “Black Man” and “Another Black Man” in a series of skits that jump from present-day improv workshops to past atrocities. Your belly will hurt from laughing at Rebecca Ridenour’s ukulele rendition of “Edelweiss,” until the play makes a 180 and gut-punches you with the harsh, horrible reality of racial prejudices. Then all you can do to stare at the blank stage, with the house lights shining on you, and practice your deep breathing. ENID SPITZ. Artists Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Sunday and 2 pm Sunday, March 16-April 3. $48.

ALSO PLAYING Bad Kitty

Kitty just wants a good nip and a nap, but life’s clumps stink things up in this Oregon Children’s Theatre adaptation of the best-selling book series. Extra shows 11 am Saturday, March 12 and 26. Winningstad Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 228-9571. 2 and 5 pm Saturday; 11 am and 2 pm Sunday, through March 27. $14-$28.

Blasted

PTSD, brutal sex and racism rocket to center stage in plays by Sarah Kane, the English playwright notorious for staging graphic violence and creating “one of the most violent and racially offensive programmes ever,” as one British critic called her 1995 TV movie, Skin. Her first play, Blasted, getting it’s Portland premiere with Defunkt, looks to be the most violent play on any stage this season. In it, the repulsively offensive journalist Ian rapes an unsuspecting ingénue named Cate in his swanky Leeds hotel room, which is then stormed by an unstable soldier armed with a rifle. Scenes of anal rape, brutality and cannibalism earned Blasted harsh criticism and then strong praise from Harold Pinter. Not recommended for audiences under 18. There will be a post-show discussion about PTSD and domestic violence on Saturday, March 12. Back Door Theatre, 4321 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 481-2960. 7:30 pm Thursday-Sunday, through March 19. $10-$25.

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

PREVIEW

Rogue Rouge CHOREOGRAPHER IHSAN RUSTEM DOESN’T MAKE “FUN” DANCES. HIS NEXT PREMIERE, “LE FIL ROUGE” (THE RED THREAD), IS DIFFERENT. “Everyone’s healthy!” That’s the first thing Northwest Dance Project’s resident choreographer, Ihsan Rustem, said through his thick London accent, sounding giddy. Rustem, who has been with NWDP since 2010, is known for dark, minimalist works that test his dancers. Ching Ching Wong, a company member who’s been dancing since age 3 and has a Princess Grace Award, said “he pushes you physically in this way that is challenging, fast-paced and precise.” His three works for the company so far have been on-brand: dimly lit stage, mostly duets, deadly-serious mood and a haunting soundscape. Gloom has served Rustem well. Last year’s Yidam won the company a debut at the Joyce Theater in New York. Thursday’s premiere, “Le Fil Rouge,” isn’t so much a shift as it is a blind cliff-jump. He’s thankful no dancers are injured—and that they agreed to put bike lights in their mouths. ENID SPITZ. WW: You’re known for your dark and intense style. Is this work really different? Ishan Rustem: When Sarah [Slipper] first suggested bringing in comedy, I gasped. I laugh from morning to evening, but I’ve never attempted to put that onstage. People started to expect these big, meaty things from me. I was in Germany, and I overheard a director coming to my premiere saying, “He does all these beautiful pas de deux.” I thought that’s great, but I don’t want to be stuck in that box. Even though this piece is whimsical, it’s still my signature. Sarah describes it as a thickness, a weight. I almost never jump. I hated jumping as a dancer, so I avoid it at all costs. But when I danced across Europe for 15 years, I was always pushed to be versatile. Everything—tights onstage, naked onstage— everything. I want to choreograph like that. Why did you pick an all-female, modern soundtrack? There has to be something that ties it all together. There is a huge range—Radiohead’s “Creep” sung by a woman, “Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps” by Doris Day, and then

Édith Piaf. When Piaf blasts from the speakers, it’s hard not to feel anything. These female voices take us through six episodes on a journey…and it ends with a big party. I am going for the 6-to99-year-old age range. You don’t need to “get” anything—you can just enjoy. How did the NWDP dancers react to that idea? It was a Kodak moment—I wish I had taken a photo. They were all like, “What?” But I know the dancers well, and they know me. If you ask them to spin around 20 times and then jump on their heads, they’ll say, “Yeah, I’ll try that!” There’s this crazy section—I don’t want to give away too much—but let’s just say there are bike lights inside the dancer’s mouths and they’re lip-synching to that wild Édith Piaf. They were all for it, like, “Yeah! We’ve never done that before.” In these rehearsals, I haven’t laughed so much in the studio—ever. Your contract with NWDP goes until 2018, so you’re going between Portland and Zurich for a while. Is that a jarring switch? All I do is travel, nonstop. But Portland is my home away from home. People hear a weird accent here and they’re like, “Oh, that’s cool. Welcome!” I always stay at the Mark Spencer, and I finally went across the street to Blue Star. I hadn’t ever seen bacon on a doughnut before. Maybe they borrowed that from Voodoo? That’s, like, a thing going on. I love the food carts, too. We don’t have that, or if we do, it’s not the place you want to eat. The Joyce invited the company to do your premiere from last year’s Louder Than Words, and now it’s going to Houston’s prestigious Dance Salad Festival— how involved are you with NWDP on tour? That all happened so last-minute. A presenter saw the show at the Joyce and wanted to book it. [NWDP] called me a couple weeks ago and I said, “Sure, I’ll tag along.” My old company from Munich is going to be there, and since our show is opening, we’ll get that out of the way and then hopefully go out a bit... It was in Munich with that company that I found beer. I never drank beer before Germany. When I first got to Munich, I went to Oktoberfest with the company and ordered a vodka cranberry. Everyone pissed themselves laughing at me. Then they shoved a pitcher in front of me, and I was converted. SEE IT: Louder Than Words is at Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway, 828-8285. 7:30 pm ThursdaySaturday, March 17-19. $34-$58.

Forever

the Père Lachaise cemetery in Paris is famous as the final resting spot for some of history’s most famous artists, and it’s the jumping-off point for Pulitzer finalist Dael orlandersmith’s one-woman show. Walking through the graves conjures up her memories of growing up with an alcoholic mother. the raw and emotional tell-all won praise from The New Yorker when it opened off-Broadway last spring. Domestic trials, confessional monologues, pathos for the well-educated—PcS has a formula. that said, it normally adds up. Ellyn Bye Studio at the Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-7300. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday; noon Thursday; 2 pm Saturday-Sunday, through March 20. $40. 16+.

King Lear

the new Post5 inaugural show isn’t the “edgy” theater director Rusty tennant said he wants to bring to Sellwood. But we’re all better off for its classicism. Ithica tell drips disdain from her curled upper lip as Goneril; Stan Brown is her indulgently flamboyant minion; Jessica tidd fills out the lusty Regan in a black slip or red fur coat; and todd Van Voris...you should know the name. the axis is 80-year-old tobias Andersen, a 50-year veteran of northwest theaters who plays the titular King as a tempest of rage, a pathetically mad king and a heartbreaking embodiment of human sorrow. Despite the occasional garbled speech and a weird cell phone cameo, when Lear stands center stage carrying his daughter’s corpse in frail arms, the burly guy in my row was crying too. Post 5 Theatre, 1666 SE Lambert St., 971-258-8584. 7:30 pm FridaySaturday, March 18-19. $20.

Moby Dick, Rehearsed

Star Work

Space travel can’t always be unrealistically attractive astronauts and sleek jetpacks. Follow a crew of bureaucratic spaceship workers as they gather space data, file soil samples and play board games aboard the Griffin 23J in Action/Adventure’s newest play. If the company’s mission is theater for tV people, we’re thinking Parks & Rec meets Star Trek. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 10 pm ThursdaySunday, March 17-April 3. $10-$12.

Stupid F***ing Bird

Loosely adapted from chekhov’s The Seagull, this play is three acts of neurotic moaning about the struggles of artists and the role of theater in a lengthy “woe is me” rant that feels like artistic masturbation. Stupid F***ing Bird breaks the fourth wall, with characters confessing their desires to the audience as if in a Stanislavsky acting class. While intriguing at first, the techniques get old quickly, like a teenager who has to tell everyone he just started smoking pot. the play knows its audience—beret-wearing theater devotees who think adding “fuck” makes something edgy—and the script plays to that crowd with endless theater in-jokes. It’s not the cast’s fault; each actor is stunning, especially Kimberly Gilbert as the emo cook Mash. Portland center Stage’s pop art set, graffitied with neon green and pink portraits of chekhov, and the setchange scene, in which Russian music blasts, are almost worth the three hours. SoPHIA JUnE. Gerding Theater at the Armory, 128 NW 11th Ave., 445-3700. 7:30 pm Tuesday-Sunday; 2 pm Saturday-Sunday; 12 pm Thursday, through March 27. $25-$70.

COMEDY & VARIETY Curious Comedy Open Mic

Sign up start at 7:15, and every comic gets a tight three minutes onstage in this weekly show hosted by Andie Main. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 8 pm Sundays. Free.

Dave Chappelle

In what’s become something of a biannual tradition, Dave chappelle announced last Wednesday that

cont. on page 44

cASEy cAMPBELL PHotoGRAPHy

the first female-helmed adaptation of orson Welles’ Dick is a surprisingly stunning, immersive production from Hillsboro’s one theater troupe. the Venetian theatre morphs into a swashbuckling nantucket wharf, where actors playing whalers sing shanties through the aisles or mime epic harpooning scenes with little more than ropes and wooden blocks as props. the play is framed as a company’s rehearsal of Moby Dick, and Kymberli colbourne starts the show as a bullheaded director, marching through the theater and barking orders while the house lights are still up. When the lights dim, Bag & Baggage will make you forget there is such a thing as Hillsboro. this is the first production with permission from Welles’ estate to cast women as the leads, and colbourne as Ahab is a wonderful tempest onstage. As the cast files through the audience carrying candles and flags, actors yell lines

from the stage to the balcony, and colbourne belts tear-jerking monologues from the top of a swaying ladder—you’ll never think of Dick as a snoozefest again. EnID SPItZ The Venetian Theatre, 253 E. Main St., Hillsboro, 3459590. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, through March 20. $25-$30.

MOBY DICK, REHEARSED Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

PERFORMANCE REVIEW K A T H L E E N K E L Ly / W W S T A F F

he’s doing a surprise string of Portland shows. Tickets sold out in minutes the next day, but when this happened in 2014, he did announce more shows as the others sold out. Or, ensure your spot for a mere 800-percent markup on StubHub. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave., 234-9694. 7 pm TuesdayThursday and 10 pm Wednesday, March 15-17. $55. Sold out. Under 21 admitted with parent or guardian.

Earthquake Hurricane

Some of WW’s favorite funny Portlanders showcase famous and not-so-famous, local and not-solocal comedians. Hosted by Curtis Cook, Alex Falcone, Anthony Lopez and Bri Pruett. Velo Cult Bike Shop, 1969 NE 42nd Ave., 922-2012. 9 pm every Wednesday. Free, $5 suggested donation. 21+.

Joe Machi

A comedian on the rise, Joe Machi finished in the top four in Last Comic Standing’s 2008 installment. Since then, he’s performed standup on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon and been selected as a New Face at the prestigious Just For Laughs comedy festival in Montreal. In town for four shows in three nights, there has never been a better time to see a funny guy on his way to the big time. MIKE ACKER. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-6438669. 7:30 and 10 pm FridaySaturday, and 7:30 pm Sunday, March 18-20. $21-$32. 21+.

Open Court

This weekly, long-form improv show combines performers from many Portland theaters and troupes. Newbies are welcome and teams are picked at random, then coached by an improv veteran before taking the stage. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 7:30 pm Thursdays. $5. .

GOOD FRIDAY VESPERS

Piggy Back

Local comedians do a standup set, then Funhouse’s resident improv troupe makes one set into a longform show. The audience chooses the genre, adding one more variable to the mix. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 841-6734. 7 pm Thursday, through March 31. $12.

The Ranger Station Open Mic

Sign ups start at 8 pm for a weekly open mic night hosted by Victor Johnson, set in the whiskey-heavy bar WW once compared to “a Roosevelt-era public works cabin.” The Ranger Station, 4260 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 894-8455. 8:30 pm Wednesday. Free. 21+.

Sister Spit Queer + Feminist Road Show

March 25 at 7:00PM

at historic downtown Portland St. James Lutheran Church Performance will include the traditional Good Friday Passion reading from the Gospel of St. John presented with readers and selections from Bach’s St. John Passion for choir, soloists, and orchestra. The St. James Bach Choir is joined by a professional orchestra of strings, oboes, flute, and portative organ, and by soloists, Catherine Van der Salm (soprano), Laura Thoreson (alto) and Kevin Walsh (baritone) with choruses, arias, and chorales from Bach’s great St. John Passion. Freewill offering. 1315 SW Park Avenue, Portland. For more information, contact nancyn@stjamespdx.org | 503 227 2439. 44

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Born in the ‘90s as a bitch slap to “misogyny-soaked” poetry open mics, San Francisco’s girls-only roadshow is touring with six femalesympathetic artists. Critical and hilarious tales told by authors like MTV News writer Cassie J. Sneider, #LoseHateNotWeight creator Virgie Tovar, queer xicana poet Denise Benavides and two Portland guests—trans-lesbian writer Brook Shelley and artist Cooper Lee Bombardier. Independent Publishing Resource Center, 1001 SE Division St., 827-0249. 7 pm Friday, March 18. $15-$20, sliding scale.

Sunday School

Workshop students, veteran crews and groups that pre-register online perform long form improv every Sunday. Curious Comedy Theater, 5225 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 477-9477. 6 pm Sundays. $5.

Supernova

Brody’s students showcase their improv, sketch and standup skills— a different class each week. Brody Theater, 16 NW Broadway, 224-2227. 7:30 pm Thursdays. $5.

For more Performance listings, visit

PORtLAND HORROR stORY: Nesting stars Nathan Crosby, Rose Procter and Alwynn Accuardi.

The New Netflix

Joel Patrick Durham didn’t win. When his episodic horror show Nesting debuted at Pilot Season, an annual “theater for TV people” competition hosted by Action/Adventure Theatre, it didn’t win a full run at the theater, but it did get a cult following. Now, a year later, Durham is producing the show on his own and billing it as theater you can binge-watch. On Saturdays, you can even consecutively watch all four “episodes” of the semi-improvised part-sitcom, part-psychological horror play. I didn’t take that four-hour route, but I wish I had. Episode one begins with a terrified Thea (Rose Procter), sitting alone with a bottle of pills, hearing voices. The set is made entirely of cardboard, creating a washed-out backdrop not unlike a TV series does. Scared of being alone, Thea asks her childhood friend Gabe (Nathan Crosby) and his girlfriend Penny (Alwynn Accuardi) to move in. Over the course of four episodes, the characters are all haunted by voices, which manifest in the form of a terrifying villain (Murri Lazaroff-Babin) who turns absurd when he breaks into a funk dance routine. The plot often feels more like a corny sitcom you quasi-watch while folding laundry than invite friends over for The Bachelor-style viewing parties. Nesting’s terrors are mainly a byproduct of its genre. When the light, naturalistic improv gets a sudden punch of terror— blackouts, creaks, a knife—the horror-film flat notes feel surprising in a theater and left me grabbing my roommate or covering my eyes with sweaty palms. If I could have clicked to watch episode three right away, I would have. Since I did my viewing in two two-episode chunks, I spent the next two days feeling a little dopey for wondering about the fates of characters whose lives seemed on pause the second I left the theater. So live-action cliffhangers work, too. That’s thanks mostly to the cast, especially Accuardi, who steals the show as the high-strung Midwesterner who bounces around the house with a perfect ponytail and matching floral prints. Accuardi’s Penny foils Procter’s Thea, who drags slowly around the house in oversized sweaters, while Procter’s breathy voice and vaguely tortured attitude get swallowed by Accuardi and Crosby’s chemistry. Re-entering their world two days later was strangely comforting. As episode three begins with a cheeky 1950s-style theme song and accompanying dance to match, you can forgive the kitsch because it’s just good to be back. Episodes three and four can shakily stand on their own, but after the break, the play starts to feel like when you watch Netflix and clean your room at the same time. The improv waxes long and includes a bizarre, unnecessary daydream sequence in which Crosby’s Gabe confides in a life-size version of his stuffed-animal tiger. Nesting might not be the next American Horror Story, but it is well-deserving of its cult and left me wishing for a full season. SOPHIA JUNE. Now you can binge-watch theater with the episodic horror show Nesting.

see it: Nesting is at Shoebox Theater, 2110 SE 10th Ave., 481-9742. 8 pm Friday-Sunday and 3:30 pm Saturdays, through March 26. $15.

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By MEGAN HARNED. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: mharned@wweek.com.

Al-Mutanabbi Street Starts Here!

On March 5, 2007, a car bomb destroyed Al-Mutanabbi Street in Baghdad, Iraq’s beloved and ancient street for booksellers. To pay homage to the books, ideas and culture that were lost, poets, book artists, photographers and printmakers contributed work to the international exhibition Al-Mutanabbi Street Starts Here!, which has made its way to Portland. Not only does the exhibition show solidarity with our fellow Iraqi citizens, it gives us an opportunity to see visual art that glorifies books and the literary form. Additional exhibitions are being held at the Museum of Contemporary Craft and Portland State University. JENNIFER RABIN. Multnomah County Central Library, 801 SW 10th Ave., 988-5123. Through May 15.

Amateur Occult Club

One of artist David Bray’s female figures bleeds from her ribs into a chalice—as potent as religious imagery gets. Next to the chalice Bart Simpson’s head, a spade and multiple cups and saucers are scrawled in pen, as though some hoodlum defaced the piece after it was completed. (Except that hoodlum is Bray himself.) Part naive, part classical Greek, part Sailor Jerry, Amateur Occult Club is a testament to Bray’s ability to incorporate divergent influences. In so doing, he creates his own sophisticated aesthetic of fuck-you punk in an exhibition that is not to be missed. JENNIFER RABIN. Stephanie Chefas Projects, 305 SE 3rd Ave., No. 202, 310-990-0702. Through April 2.

Azimuth

Photographer William Binzen’s panoramas of the American West are so massive that the viewer is sucked into the landscape, feet no longer touching the gallery floor. Shot with a large format camera, Binzen’s photos show the impacts people have had on the land. Smoke plumes from power plants choke the sky and pollute a nearby lake, ribbons of highways slice through pristine desert, chainlink fence corrals rubble outside of a gothic-style cathedral and mills deface foothills without a thought. In Azimuth, it is clear that destruction comes on the heels of man’s desire to grow, to build, to expand, to industrialize. And we are left to consider the consequences. JENNIFER RABIN. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 2250210. Through April 3.

Conversations With The Dead

Photographer Danny Lyon’s series, Conversations With the Dead, is a feat of immersion journalism, in which Lyon documented life in six different prisons throughout Texas during the late 1960s. In one photo, a prisoner sits alone next to the master controls that open the cell doors, so close to the freedom that eludes him. In another, black prisoners, segregated from their white counterparts, fill a large field, hunched over in the backbreaking work of picking cotton. It is an uncomfortable experience to take in Lyon’s stunning black-andwhite photographs because we are unaccustomed to seeing tragedy and cruelty through such a beautiful lens. Charles A. Hartman Fine Art, 134 NW 8th Ave., 287-3886. Through March 26.

Desperate Measures

Max Cleary plays with the medium of photography. He prints images on concrete bricks, giving them depth and weight, then shoots them in settings that evoke something more. To create the triptych To See You Again, the artist turned a photograph of a rock into a sculpture of a rock, which he rephotographed, making the two-dimensional into the threedimensional and back again. Some of his photographs are meant to be touched, like a xerographic print of

pebbled cement sculpted to take on the texture of the original surface. JENNIFER RABIN. Soltesz Fine Art, 1825 NW 23rd Ave., 971-276-9097. Through March 19.

Drawing to Planet Earth

The organic forms in Christine Bourdette’s abstract graphite and watercolor series call to mind natural phenomena formed over millenniums. Bourdette is a Portland resident and Drawing to Planet Earth is informed by the landscape of the American West. Dappled rock formations fill the background, muted and as old as time. Bright splashes of color overlaid by Bourdette’s brush remind the viewer that nothing is stagnant, everything changes. Alongside her drawings, Bourdette is showing a series of small paper sculptures that use an ephemeral material to evoke the enduring textures of the geological world. JENNIFER RABIN. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 2240521. Through April 2.

Lepidoptera

After gaining access to Oregon State University’s archive of nearly three million insect specimens, artist Sarah Horowitz decided to devote an entire series of etchings to moths. Horowitz created the impossibly detailed blackand-white images by scratching delicate lines into a copper plate while looking through a magnifying visor. The etchings are sedate and still, like biological illustrations in an antique book, but the moths are so realistic it seems possible they might fly off the page. JENNIFER RABIN. Froelick Gallery, 714 NW Davis St., 222-1142. Through April 2.

The People’s Liberation Army Goes Shopping

The subjects of adman-turned-artist Jim Riswold’s photographs are female soldier dolls from China’s People’s Liberation Army. Each doll, beautifully shot against a communist-red backdrop, wears luxury accessories with her starched white-gloved uniform: a foofy dog peeking out of a Kate Spade shoulder bag, a fur coat and chandelier earrings to compliment an AK-47. The juxtaposition of these elements makes for images so arresting they distract the viewer from their lack of substance. Riswold’s artist’s statement is devoted to information about China’s biggest shopping day and how it outmatches Black Friday. If Riswold had followed this thread, the series could have been an interesting commentary about commercialism, capitalism and communism. But by only using images of women (the artist said female dolls were all he could find), Riswold is making a powerful statement that he didn’t intend. Presenting an image of a female soldier holding a rifle in one hand and a beauty pageant bouquet in the other—especially a female soldier from a country that has a history of aborting girls—adds to the culture of undervaluing women instead of commenting on it. It also fails to communicate anything substantive about China’s commercialism. JENNIFER RABIN. Oranj Studio, 0726 SW Gaines St., 719-5338. Through March 31.

The Restorative Series

Many of painter Valerie Winterholler’s muted abstracts feature a hazy horizon stretching across a sharp, vertical chasm. This seems poetic for a body of work that Winterholler created after a difficult time caused her to quit painting. The series was “my way of bringing myself back to where I was,” she says. Winterholler paints on different-sized birch panels topped with a skim coat of absorbent clay, making for an exceptionally smooth surface, which she then burnishes to the point where they begin to reflect light. The result is meditative, ambient and hopeful. JENNIFER

COURTESy OF LESLIE EBERT

VISUAL ARTS RABIN. Basic Space Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 111, 477-6452. Through March 25.

Rowland Ricketts

Some of Rowland Ricketts’ wallmounted squares of indigo fabric evoke abstract color fields, while others look like they were kissed by a cloud of calligrapher’s ink. They all show the incredible nuance of color that the artist is able to achieve through dyeing and weaving. Most notable is the fact that “daylight” is listed as one of the materials used to create each piece. This is a nod to the impermanence of the work, the fact that the colors and the fabric will begin to change and fade over the course of the exhibition in a room with floor-to-ceiling windows. This degradation is as important to Ricketts’ work as the growing, harvesting and fermenting of the indigo plants. It is not the final result, but the process of making that is the most lasting. JENNIFER RABIN. Museum of Contemporary Craft, 724 NW Davis St., 223-2654. $6. Through April 23.

Screw Art

What the street artist Invader did for mosaic tiles, Sam Klein is doing for Phillips-head screws. Klein uses multicolored screws of various sizes to construct simple but beautifully rendered images of ’80s nostalgia and geekery. Think of it like pointillism for the Comic-Con crowd. The textured pieces—depicting stormtroopers, skulls and robots—drip with humor and craftsmanship. If you’ve ever wanted a portrait of Boba Fett made out of hardware to hang next to your standup Pac-Man machine, this is the show for you. JENNIFER RABIN. Ford Gallery, 2505 SE 11th Ave., 449-3305. Through March 19.

Stone, Cloth, Flushed Cloud

Charlene Liu’s colorful, patterned works combine watercolor, printmaking, collage and pen and ink. In one series, Liu digitally processes images of ornate textiles salvaged from her mother’s restaurant, a nod to memory and lineage that draws you into every fold. Larger panels use hand-marbled paper to create kaleidoscopic images that feel both geometric and organic. Timed to coincide with an annual printmakers conference in Portland, Liu’s work shows us another way to explore the printmaking tradition. JENNIFER RABIN. Elizabeth Leach Gallery, 417 NW 9th Ave., 224-0521. Through April 2.

Threshold

In a two-person show, mixed media artists Mario Gallucci and Danielle Gottesman explore the idea of thresholds based on their own practices. Gottesman works in steel and wood to create minimal architectural forms that evoke openings and closings, like that of a bird’s wings or the pages of a book. Gallucci’s hyperrealistic sculpture of a dying houseplant and his photograph of a boarded-up building reference crossings over from life to death, utility to obsolescence. Gallucci and Gottesman show us that thresholds can be internal or external, physical or intangible. JENNIFER RABIN. Hap Gallery, 916 NW Flanders St., 444-7101. Through April 2.

Variable States: Prints Now

Upfor Gallery is doing what it does best by celebrating the intersection of a classic art form and the technologies that have reshaped it into what is newly possible. This month, eight artists show us the entire spectrum of printmaking, from serigraph to 3-D printing. Alyson Provax’s looped video, using letterpress animation cells, will keep you glued in front of it. And Janet Ballweg gives us a series of moody intaglio prints, which look like 2-D theater sets of abandoned living spaces. Created from computer-generated models, the final prints exist in the ineffable space between the digital and the tangible. JENNIFER RABIN. Upfor Gallery, 929 NW Flanders St., 227-5111. Through April 9.

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

YEARNING by LESLIE EbErT

REVIEW

What Are You Looking At? When you walk into Leslie Ebert’s photography show Traces of Creation: Phenomena, you will be confused. You will have no idea what you’re looking at. You will put your face right up to the photos to try to figure it out. When that doesn’t work, you will back away in hopes that some distance will clear things up. That will fail too. Ebert photographs light using a macro lens, so your brain gets little context for the hazy, colorful glimmerings. No amount of staring at them will help you make sense of them, which is why you shouldn’t try. The images look out of focus, like faded memories. One photo might recall a moment when you came up for air during a swim, just before breaking the surface, when you saw the sky and sun through a watery film. Another might conjure a glint of sunlight in a puddle, a rainbow whizzing by the car window, or the blur in your vision after rubbing your eyes. In contrast to the thought-provoking photojournalism that’s popular at most galleries, like Blue Sky in the Pearl, Ebert’s photos don’t make you ponder anything. They make you feel. The abstract photography elicits nostalgia, wonder and a sense that there is something beyond what we can see. “I think the work is trying to say something to us,” Ebert says, “but a scientist would understand it one way and a poet in another and an artist in another.” Ebert didn’t show this series for a long time because she couldn’t figure out a way to present the photos that would remain faithful to what she originally saw through her lens. Paper and canvas flattened the images too much. It wasn’t until she discovered sublimation dye printing, a process developed for sign-making, that the images existed outside her camera. The process involves inkjet technology, which prints the image onto a sheet of transfer paper. It’s heated until the ink turns into a gas and is baked onto an aluminum sheet, changing the metal on a molecular level. The pigment is deposited in translucent layers, creating a luminous surface of incredible depth. With Traces, Ebert offers us a glimpse of the natural world that takes us out of our heads. She gives us light—something that surrounds us all the time—and shows it to us in a different way, making it feel elusive and indescribable. JENNIFER RABIN. Leslie Ebert wouldn’t print her photos until she could bake them onto metal.

SEE IT: Traces of Creation: Phenomena is at Sage Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., No. 106, 541-206-2560. Through March 31. Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

22nd Annual

LUN

TEE

BOOKS NE

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

EDE

By JAMES HELMSWORTH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, MARCH 16

FRIDAY, MARCH 18

Charles Duhigg

The Big Book of Kombucha

A Pulitzer Prize winner for a series on Apple’s global influence, Charles Duhigg’s 2012 book, The Power of Habit, explored formed and reformed habits and how they apply to the business world. With the verve and joie de vivre for which The New York Times business section is so known, his new book, Smarter Faster Better, explores how you can change your thinking to be more productive, allowing your boss to eke out every last ounce of surplus from your labor. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Jeffery Deaver

Jeffery Deaver is the author of a dozen novels featuring Lincoln Rhyme, a quadriplegic forensic detective. In the latest installment, The Steel Kiss, he and his partner, Amelia Sachs, must track down a killer that uses household items as weapons. It’s also the name of my new hair-metal project. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., 228-4651. 7 pm. Free.

F O L A R I N S H A S A N YA

THURSDAY, MARCH 17

You booch, bro? Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, MARCH 20 Brian Evenson in Conversation with Leni Zumas

A professor at CalArts, Brian Evenson’s work spans across genres: He’s done translation, literary theory, a novel that landed him in hot water with the LDS Church, two novelizations of the Dead Space video games and even a book with Rob Zombie. His latest collection, A Collapse of Horses, is classifiable as horror, but less in the “blood and guts are everywhere” way and more in that Borges or whomever is fantasy style—singular spooky things make an appearance in an otherwise normal world: a Reno you can never reach, a teddy bear with the heartbeat of a dead child. He’ll be speaking with Oregon Book Award finalist Leni Zumas. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Gordon Edgar

With 15 years of experience as a San Francisco cheesemonger, and a book about it to his name, Gordon Edgar can tell you about all kinds of delicious and obtuse (and deliciously obtuse) cheeses. What of the stuff of burritos and ham sandwiches, the simple working man’s cheddar? Edgar’s new book, Cheddar, explores how the cheese has been transformed from a lovingly wheel-made beauty to a plastic nightmare. Reading Frenzy, 3628 N Mississippi Ave., 971-271-8044. 5 pm. Free.

MONDAY, MARCH 21 Ursula K. Le Guin Poetry Group Reading

Friday & Saturday March 25th & 26th Noon to 10pm Oregon Convention Center • Portland Oregon 2 Day Admission $10

(Free Admission 1st 500 Friday)

CHOCOLATES, CIDERS, CHEESES, DISTILLERS, FOOD TRUCKS, MUSIC AND MUCH MORE

A. Igoni Barrett

When Nigerian Furo Wariboko wakes up one morning, he finds himself changed into a monstrous vermin: a white dude! His life— kind of stuck in neutral—revs up as he reaps the appertaining privileges of his new, melanin-deficient condition. For whatever reason, however, his butt stays black. That’s the plot of the debut novel, Blackass, from A. Igoni Barrett, whose two short-story collections have garnered international praise. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Juan Thompson

For more Information please visit our website at

www.springbeerfest.com

Spring Beer & Wine Fest, Inc is a registered not-for-profit organization supporting scholarships and charities 46

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Stopping in bat country is illadvised, but what about growing up there? Juan Thompson would know: he’s the child of the legendarily cantankerous, drug-addled writer Hunter S. Thompson. As one might guess, it was a pretty rough way to grow up, involving copious amounts of substance abuse and very little affection. But Thompson the Younger (now a medical technology guy in Denver with a son of his own) paints a more complex picture of their relationship in Stories I Tell Myself, from his birth in the ‘70s to Thompson the Elder’s suicide in 2005. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

Even the most celebrated artists have groups of buddies to bounce stuff off. That includes our fair state’s most celebrated artist, writer-poet Ursula K. Le Guin, who released a collection of poetry last year called Late in the Day. She and her poetry group—Noel Hanlon, Caroline Le Guin, Molly Gloss, Barbara Drake and Bette Husted—will take turns reading their work. Annie Bloom’s Books, 7834 SW Capitol Highway, 246-0053. 7 pm. Free.

TUESDAY, MARCH 22 Lauren Weedman

If you have one of those fancy cable packages, you probably recognize Lauren Weedman (changed at Ellis Island from the French Feaurtuentie-Blaisette) from Looking and Hung. If your cable is of a more middle-class persuasion, you probably recognize her from The Daily Show. If you’re some kind of weirdo who likes theater, you’ll recognize her as the writer of Portland Center Stage’s The People’s Republic of Portland, another bit of “culture” by an L.A. person about how Weird™ our fair city is. Miss Fortune is a book about how tough life is when you’re fabulously successful. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 228-4651. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

COURTESY OF SONY PICTURES CLASSICS

MOVIES = WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: espitz@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK Creative Control

B+ This art drama tucked into the shiny ad world of New York City features Reggie Watts and Google Glasstype eyewear that gives ad men a little too much fun. Shot in black-and-white, with a classical music soundtrack and voyeuristic tracking shots, the film explores the consequences of technology’s unstoppable march forward. David (writer Benjamin Dickinson) cheats on his yogi girlfriend with a hologram of his friend’s girlfriend, using the glasses that he’s working on a campaign for. But whether the film is more against technology than it is inner peace-seeking yogis isn’t clear. Instead, it further complicates both extremes. While technology is often a physical and emotional barrier between characters, the film also cites overblown spirituality as a legitimate excuse for cheating. It verges on long and self-indulgent, with too many slow-motion shots that glamorize the lives of young “creatives.” But the self-reflexive humor—like when David gets punched by a photographer and continues posing while bleeding on the ground—keeps the film grounded. R. SOPHIA JUNE. Cinema 21, Kiggins.

The Divergent Series: Allegiant, Part 1

The irrelevant hanger-on in the pseudo-sci-ﬁ, angsty teenagers market gets another multi-million-dollar installment. Screened after deadline. See wweek.com for Mike Gallucci’s review. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas.

Trapped

B+ If you haven’t heard about abor-

tion-trap laws, you must not have a uterus. Some conservative states’ legislatures are trying to roll back Roe v. Wade by passing laws that are impossible for clinics to comply with. They frame these laws as “helping women,” but they make it harder for women to get legal abortions. As one anonymous interviewee in Trapped says: “People are going to find a way.” This movie comes through the perspective of health care providers who are struggling tirelessly to provide women with safe abortions. So, if you consider abortion murder, (a) you’re wrong and (b) should probably sit this one out unless you want to see your brethren act like dicks. If you’re of a different mind, decide whether or not to watch based on how angry you want to feel. Does the sight of Rick Perry taking away women’s rights incapacitate you with sadness, or does it fill you with righteous rage? If the former, don’t watch. If the latter, watch and be inspired to do something. NR. LIZZY ACKER. Cinema 21.

STILL SHOWING 10 Cloverfield Lane

C+ The motto of J.J. Abrams’ latest

thriller is, basically, don’t text and drive. Also, don’t break up with your ﬁance, or else you’ll get in a terrible car accident, be abducted by a Lolita-inspired murderer and watch your whole family die in the alien apocalypse—in one night. 10 Cloverﬁeld Lane falls victim to the usual thriller clichés: It doesn’t come close to passing the Bechdel test and contains numerous gratuitous shots of Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) in her underwear, a cheap

CONT. on page 48

SMALL-TOWN HERO: Melissa Rauch.

REVIEW

Hope Handsprings Eternal THE BRONZE IS RAUNCHY COMEDY GOLD. BY ALEX FALCO NE

@alex_falcone

tures adults talking like adults. But people calling it raunchy is symptomatic of the challenges of classifying comedy. Funny things are difficult to write about because the gut-level response (you laughed or you didn’t) is harder to explain after the fact than other aesthetic judgments. You may not know why you laughed at something. If the people around you are laughing, you’ll laugh more (which is why laugh tracks are annoying but effective). It’s a challenge. On the other hand, I’m pretty articulate, so allow me to try to explain why The Bronze is great while so many other comedies (especially those labeled “raunchy”) aren’t.

There were rumblings suggesting The Bronze might be lucky to make it to the podium at all. Distribution was troubled, the release dates shifty and publicity limited. Rumblings. But one minute into the film, former Olympian Hope Ann Greggory—played by writer Melissa Rauch, from The Big Bang Theory—masturbates to a video of herself winning the medal for the U.S. women’s gymnastics team despite a Kerri Strug-esque injury. And I was sold. That scene introduces you to the backstory of Hope, a former national hero, The characters and story are solid. without feeling sappy or forced. The comedy in The Bronze is an outNow, it’s years after her medgrowth of interesting characters al-winning performance, and stories, rather than every“If the and Hope’s injuries kept thing being an excuse to get people around her from further competo a joke. Hope is complex you are laughing, tition. She’s older, but and interesting, played to she’s never moved on. perfection by Rauch (more you’ll laugh more She’s still a hero to her on that in a second). She’s (which is why laugh small town, but maybe not Will Ferrell yelling with she’s been milking her a mustache or Ben Stiller tracks are annoying celebrity a little too long. yelling with a wig. but eﬀective).” Despite her best efforts to Placing the lead in a world remain a drain on the city, she that matters allows for hysterical gets roped into training another moments you can’t get any other way. young gymnast and has to sideline her con- Take, for example, the sex scene between cerns that this new blood will eclipse her Hope and rival gymnast Lance Tucker own fame. A very nonstandard sports movie (played by Sebastian Stan ,from Black Swan). It’s the best sex scene I’ve seen in a comedy ensues. The Bronze is a raunchy comedy, though since the puppets in Team America: World saying that makes me sound like I’m 100. Police. But the idea of two gymnasts having It’s a comedy with swearing because it fea- highly gymnastic sex isn’t as funny if you

don’t know that they’re also former loversturned-lifelong rivals. Or that one of them is ruining a relationship with a non-gymnast by doing this. It means something, and that makes it way funnier.

There’s swearing.

I love good swearing, and I don’t think it gets enough credit. Hope’s innovative filthiness— “you’d better not have gotten any of your clit jizz on my car,” or, “absence makes the dick grow harder”—is fun for its own sake, and it’s also a key storytelling ingredient. She’s swears at her dad, which tells you a lot about her relationships. She swears on TV. And she teaches her young student to swear, an important step in the protegee’s corruption.

The protagonist is unlikable.

Hope is hard to root for, and that’s fun in a sports movie. She’s an asshole. She’s mean to children and the elderly. She’s terrible to her father and his pet goldfish. She’s manipulative. Even when she does the right things, it’s for totally the wrong reasons. And despite her complete lack of redeeming qualities, I did end up wanting her to succeed. That is a great artistic accomplishment.

Melissa Rauch is golden.

Rauch plays Hope like she lives inside her. It’s consistent and subtle. Given that the charter is so unlikable, the key to making you root for her are these tiny smiles, small moments when you see through her gnarly exterior. Rauch does that to perfection. Plus, the swearing sounds really funny with her Midwest accent. SEE IT: The Bronze is rated R. It opens Friday at most Portland-area theaters. Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

C O U R T E S Y O F L I O N S G AT E

MOVIES

GODS OF EGYPT

sta rts Fri day ma rc h1 8th

BEER WINE PIZZA 4 SCREENS LAURELHURSTTHEATER.COM

2735 E BurnsidE st • (503-232-5511) • LaurELhurstthEatEr.com

thriller soundtrack and, of course, aliens. Despite the clichés, Abrams shows for the first hour and 20 minutes that he’s almost capable of a smart psychological thriller. The last 10 minutes, however, confirm he’s not. The majority of the film creates a claustrophobic, paranoid world inside a bunker designed to survive the apocalypse, and Howard (John Goodman) is the seemingly friendly ringleader. The bunker is surprisingly homey, equipped with games, DVDs and enough food to last for years. For a second, you wonder: Is this really so bad? That’s a question Abrams makes sure to answer. PG-13. SOPHIA JUNE. Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Edgefield, Lake Theater, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas.

45 Years

A- Andrew Haigh’s rich, slow-

moving marital mystery, 45 Years, centers on gorgeous cinematography and masterful acting by Tom Courtenay and Charlotte Rampling as a buttoned-up, childless woman on the verge of celebrating her 45th wedding anniversary to a man she suddenly doesn’t know. R. LIZZY ACKER. Living Room Theaters.

The 5th Wave

D It’s the cookie-cutter story of a peppy teenage girl who is, obviously, Earth’s best hope. Sixteenyear-old Cassie (Chloë Grace Moretz from Kick-Ass) is a normal adolescent until a group of faceless aliens start killing everybody for no reason. Cassie has to ﬁght back, but only after she deals with her inevitable love triangle. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Avalon, Clackamas, Mt. Hood, Vancouver.

Anomalisa

M O C T O D K E E WW 48

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

B- It’s a little creepy watching a stop-motion puppet perform cunnilingus. Charlie Kaufman (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind) ﬁlls his movie with jarring moments when our childhood associations of stop-motion animation collide with this very grown-up story. It was nominated for an Oscar for Best Animated Feature, but it’s also an early contender for feel-bad movie of 2016. R. RICHARD SPEER. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Cinema 21.

The Big Short

A We’re in a bubble of movies about the financial crisis, but The Big Short is the first good one. It’s based on the book by Michael Lewis, who’s known for making complicated financial topics into compelling stories, and adapted by Adam McKay, who is known for Talladega Nights and the “More Cowbell” sketch. Surprisingly, this combo works. R. ALEX FALCONE. Living Room Theaters, Bridgeport.

Brooklyn

A- Based on the novel by Irish

author Colm Tóibín and adapted by Nick Hornby (High Fidelity, About a

Boy), Brooklyn is just the sweetest thing. Saoirse Ronan (Atonement) makes an adorable couple with Emory Cohen (Smash), and I could watch them court for hours, especially their awkward dinners with Cohen’s Italian family. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cinema 21.

Carol

A Todd Haynes’ newest feature is

an experience you remember mostly by token images—Cate Blanchett’s lacquered nails, Rooney Mara developing ﬁlm in her shabby apartment kitchen, Blanchett’s lipstick stains on Mara’s nipples. A romance between a young salesgirl and older housewife set against the picture-book 1950s, Carol is an almost painfully beautiful adaptation of Patricia Highsmith’s novel, The Price of Salt. R. ENID SPITZ. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Deadpool

B Within the ﬁrst 10 minutes of Deadpool, the titular “merc with the mouth” graphically slaughters a baker’s dozen of goons to a soundtrack of “Shoop,” breaks the fourth wall by talking to the audience, punches multiple scrotums, drops more f-bombs than Tony Montana and takes a bullet directly up the butthole while giggling about it. Deadpool doesn’t reinvent the wheel. But it does teabag it. And sometimes that’s enough. R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, CineMagic, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Sandy.

Eddie the Eagle

C Based on Michael “Eddie the Eagle” Edwards’ rise to (sort of) Olympic fame, this is an underdog story with a twist: He never gets any cooler, and he doesn’t win the gold. As Britain’s first competitor in Olympic ski jumping, he qualified just by successfully landing a jump, which on its own can be a deadly feat without proper training. Though he finished last, his enthusiasm and goofy appearance won over audiences worldwide. Taron Egerton brings his own twitchy charm to the role of Eddie, scrunching up his face to get a better look through his thick glasses. A synthy musical score sets the tone during the 1988 Olympics in Calgary, but ’80s nostalgia and a lovable, bespectacled hero can’t save the cheesiness of coach Bronson Peary (Hugh Jackman) taking on a ski jump in jeans and a lit cigarette. Predictable training montages aside, this is a prime opportunity for Winter Olympics buffs to nerd out on high-definition wipeouts. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Pioneer Place, Sandy.

Eisenstein in Guanajuato

C+ This is a love-it-or-hate-it proposition, both for the story about Russian ﬁlmmaker Sergei Eisenstein’s sexually experimental Mexican vacation and for the

film’s spastic montages. In the ’20s, Eisenstein was a complicated figure in Hollywood: a Soviet Jew with a face like Uncle Fester’s who reinvented the use of montage. Here, director Peter Greenaway pays homage to that art. He splits the screen so that old photographs of the real Eisenstein flank the actors onscreen. Elmer Bäck stars as Eisenstein, a big personality in awe of this new world, nervously rambling about comparative religion even while olive oil is being poured down his back for lubrication. There’s no time to blink thanks to Greenaway’s wild style, lunging from scene to scene with the swish of a skirt and the sudden swell of a full string section. Hold on tight, things get weird. NR. LAUREN TERRY. Cinema 21.

Embrace of the Serpent

A- Colonialism rears its ugly head in this Oscar-nominated film, which follows a shaman, a German explorer and a native who’s assimilating into colonized culture as they journey through South American jungles in the early 1900s, searching for a plant with mysterious healing powers. The film deftly critiques colonialism and nativism without scolding or celebrating either. But while it succeeds in addressing the mucky morality of both, the message feels heavy-handed. The native people are painted as violently religious, while the German character is too attached to material possessions. Filming in blackand-white is an unexpected choice for the long shots of Amazon wilderness, but the film mainly zooms in on less obvious details: a long canoe on the water, where the tree line meets the horizon, or the different textures of various characters’ clothing. The film’s purpose isn’t showcasing the jungle, but exposing the people in it. NR. SOPHIA JUNE. Living Room Theaters.

The Finest Hours

C Although the death-defying rescue mission depicted in this ﬁlm was a proud moment in the history of the U.S. Coast Guard, The Finest Hours is for the wives. PG-13. Kennedy School, Mt. Hood, Vancouver, Valley.

Gods of Egypt

D It’s ancient Egypt like you’ve never seen it before: bigger, shinier and chock-full of deities punching each other. The gods are distinguishable from the normals because they’re a bit taller, they transform into shiny animal robots and— despite being in Africa 5,000 years ago—they’re white as crystal meth. They’re led by Nikolaj Coster-Waldau (Game of Thrones) as Horus, god of light, and Gerard Butler (Olympus Has Fallen) as Set, god of beard stubble. The motto of the almost entirely CGI ﬁlm seems to be, “Why not?” and everything has a weird yellow glow as if the crew illuminated the whole movie with piles of burning money. Shown but never explained: giant ﬂying beetles; a 3,000-foot waterfall; removing and

Hail, Caesar!

B+ From the opening scene, in

which Capitol Pictures “fixer” Eddie Mannix (a gruff Josh Brolin) skips out of confession, it’s a quick 27-hour shitstorm through high drama as movie star Baird Whitlock (George Clooney) gets abducted. The Coens’ funniest film since The Big Lebowski combines a zany caper, a communist plot, ’50s studio politics and a touching story about one man’s calling in life into a cohesive, lighthearted and quip-heavy comedy. It’s a neat package like only the Coen brothers can tie up. PG-13. JOHN LOCANTHI. Living Room Theaters, Moreland, Bridgeport, Vancouver.

The Hateful Eight

A- Quentin Tarantino’s new mystery

Western, The Hateful Eight is a spectacular bit of storytelling set against 70 millimeters of Wyoming grandeur, yet neat enough to ﬁt together like the gears in a Swiss watch. R. Clackamas, Laurelhurst.

How to Be Single

D Dating is hard, not sure if you’ve heard. It’s especially hard for four single women in New York who are, like, diﬀerent kinds of single (Rebel Wilson, Leslie Mann, Dakota Johnson, Alison Brie). This movie is not aimed at me, a married man. It’s aimed at rich women in New York with perfect apartments and great jobs they never have to attend to. R. ALEX FALCONE. Eastport, Bridgeport, Fox Tower.

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay, Part 2

B Katniss Everdeen leads a group of

rebels against the Capitol, which has been booby-trapped with hot oil, lasers, and an army of lizard people. PG-13. Academy, Avalon, Vancouver, Valley.

Joy

B+ Director David O. Russell takes his formula for American Hustle, wraps it in Christmastime and casts America’s ass-kicking sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence as the woman who invented the self-wringing Miracle Mop. PG-13. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Kung Fu Panda 3

A- It’s been ﬁve years since Kung Fu Panda 2, and Jack Black hasn’t been in anything even close to that good since. PG. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Milwaukie, Bridgeport.

London Has Fallen

D About halfway through London Has Fallen, Gerard Butler’s grumbling, stabby Secret Service agent slowly digs his gigantic knife into the organs of Random Brown Villain No. 453 and implores him to “go back to Fuckheadistan.” The look of horror on the face of his BFFin-chief, Aaron Eckhart as the U.S. president, is meant as part of a joke (he’s such a pussy!). Featuring Melissa Leo, Morgan Freeman and Jackie Earl Haley, for fuck’s sake, this sequel to Olympus Has Fallen is a huge-budget debacle that looks like a direct-to-video toss-away. The action sequences are at best shootouts and at worst look like cutscenes from an old Playstation game—with added gay panic and racism. It’ll undoubtedly inspire some jingoistic ﬁsts to pump. In fact, it might have inadvertently given the Trump campaign a new slogan for foreign policy: “Go back to Fuckheadistan.” R. AP KRYZA. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Sandy.

The Martian

B- When a massive storm hits

the Martian exploration project and Watney’s team leaves him for dead, the skilled botanist realizes that the only way to avoid starvation and space madness is to “science the shit” out of his situation. PG-13. Empirical.

Race

The Jesse Owens story long-jumps from biopic favorite to big-screen drama, with Degrassi veteran Stephan James as the AfricanAmerican Olympian and Stephern Hopkins (24) in the director’s chair. Screened after deadline. PG-13. Cedar Hills, Laurelhurst, Bridgeport.

The Revenant

A- In terms of pure spectacle

and cinematic beauty, Alejandro

González Iñárritu’s The Revenant approaches masterpiece status. Fur trapper Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) ﬁnds his trapping party on the receiving end of a bear attack that leaves him barely clinging to life. R. AP KRYZA. Eastport, Clackamas, Hollywood, Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower, Tigard.

Risen

Risen goes big with the Jesus story, telling a swords-and-sandals epic about pagans trying to solve the resurrection mystery. It focuses on the non-canon Roman detective Clavius, played by Joseph Fiennes (Shakespeare in Love), and his sidekick, played by Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy), who’s got that clean-cut blond boy appearance you’d expect from a soldier in the Middle East.

CONT. on page 50

REVIEW C O U R T E S Y O F R O A D S I D E AT T R A C T I O N S

putting back somebody’s glowing blue brain; a ﬂaming pyramid; ridable, giant ﬁre-breathing snakes, and why they’re all so white. This is Egypt! PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Oak Grove, Division, Tigard, Sandy.

doris’ day: Sally Field.

Wet Hot American Spinster

Enter the mind of Doris, where 20-something men with waxed chests rip off their shirts and slam her passionately against the wall. Until someone wakes her from the daydream. Doris Miller (the indomitable Sally Field) has worked at the same clothing store for decades, long enough to see it evolve into yet another unconventional office with yoga balls for chairs. Easily twice the age of her co-workers, she’s maintained a low-profile as the kooky older woman who keeps to herself. Then, strapping John Fremont (Max Greenfield) enters the office, and Doris’s lusty imagination. We see her daydreams play out like the covers of her romance novels, with every handsome man she meets worshiping her until she snaps back into reality. Doris is a whip-smart comedy that pokes fun at the ultracurated youthful lifestyle, while avoiding the recent trope of seniors finding a place amid the nostalgic fascination of millennials. You can almost feel John trying not to laugh as he offers custom-blended artisanal cocktails to Doris during Friendsgiving at his place. Contrary to the typical rom-com formula, Doris doesn’t strategize to infiltrate his circle and get to know him. Instead, she gets advice from her best friend’s 13-year-old granddaughter and goes from zero to drunkenly Facebooking in no time. The concise, raunchy humor is thanks to writer-director Michael Showalter, who co-wrote the cult comedy Wet Hot American Summer with David Wain. Though the subplot of Doris’ hoarding jumps between hilarious and depressing too jarringly at times, Field nails the anxiety of an overwhelmed senior when a single pencil is moved from its usual place. Doris’ younger co-workers assume that she, like them, wears retro clothing to achieve an ironic sense of style. Instead, she dresses like that because she hasn’t replaced her wardrobe—or gotten rid of anything, really—in 40 years. Doris isn’t a manic pixie cougar, she’s a charming bat whose hoarding is paying off. And Doris intends to cash in while the timing’s right. LAUREN TERRY. Sally Field plays a cougar in bat’s clothes in Hello, My Name Is Doris.

B SEE IT: Hello, My Name Is Doris is rated R. It opens Friday at most Portland-area theaters. Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

MOVIES

Sisters

C+ Amy Poehler and Tina Fey as the titular sisters throw one last rager in their family’s house before their parents sell it. For the most part, it’s a straightup party comedy and disappointingly standard. R. Laurelhurst, Vancouver.

Son of Saul

A- Son of Saul may be the most vis-

ceral, intimate take on the Holocaust ever made, and it’s the first Hungarian movie to win a Golden Globe. In it, Saul (Géza Röhrig) is a Hungarian Jew and member of the Sonderkommando, a special unit of Jewish prisoners assigned to cleaning up the remains of their own people. R. ZACH MIDDLETON. City Center.

Spotlight

A- Spotlight inverts the usual comparison: It’s a movie that feels like prestige television. Specifically, it feels like The Wire. Recounting how a Boston Globe investigative team uncovered an epidemic of pederast priests abetted by the archdiocese, the 2016 Oscar winner for Best Picture borrows the rhythms of a propulsive TV procedural and resists the temptation for self-congratulation. R. AARON MESH. Bridgeport, City Center, Fox Tower, Tigard.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

A- If there’s one thing we know about Star Wars fans, it’s that they’re as resistant to change as any religious zealot. And so, the best thing that can be said about The Force Awakens is that it’s almost old-fashioned. PG-13. Eastport, Clackamas, Forest Theatre, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Tigard, Living Room Theaters.

Triple 9

C+ This star-studded heist film com-

bines ex-Special Forces (Chiwetel Ejiofor, Norman Reedus), current cops (Anthony Mackie, Clifton Collins Jr.), and one floundering former policeman (Aaron Paul) for a crackerjack bank take-down that quickly goes awry. When Kate Winslet, playing a mafia empress, challenges them to pull a triple 9 (officer down, in cop lingo), young pup Casey Affleck appears a heaven-sent fall guy. The script maximizes momentum with minimal exposition and no extraneous beats, but it feels like the husk of a blockbuster has-been. Direcor John Hillcoat channels the bleakness of The Road, but every scene also has tints of cerulean or hot pink, like a Miami Vice-themed porno. It’s an unpleasant experience, really. Winslet’s “Kosher Nostra” grande dame and Woody Harrelson as a major crimes True-ish detective deserve nods for acting skill, but there are no believable characters or coherent world view. Cut away all the Hollywood bullshit from a star-studded heist, and you’re left with the thudding wrongness of ordering salads from Burger King. There’s every reason to rail against the escapist slaughter—but when in Rome, maybe just enjoy the gladiators? R. JAY HORTON. Clackamas, Division, Pioneer Place.

The Wave

B- This Norwegian disaster film plays

out a lot like its Hollywood brethren: nearly an hour of buildup, followed by destruction. Unlike the recent San Andreas, though, it manages to make you actually give a shit about the characters. That’s because it relies not on a sprawling, Towering Inferno-style ensemble, but on a family whose patriarch (Kristoffer Joner) happens to be a geologist tracking potential rockslides on a picturesque fjord overlooking a tourist town. Once the inevitable tsunami hits, Joner’s clan is divided, as is the action, between those trapped in a flooded hotel and those on the ground. The film ratchets up the tension nicely, but it wants to pack the

emotional wallop of The Impossible and have its destruction porn too. The results are often exciting, but the film never transcends the expected, cresting early and never committing to a tone. R. AP KRYZA. Cinema 21.

AP FILM STUDIES C O U R T E S Y O F D E H AV E N P R O D U C T I O N

Jesus himself is played by Cliff Curtis, though he isn’t around much, which is kinda the point. But it was such a surprising choice (obviously, Jesus shouldn’t have a New Zealand accent, cute as it is). Not screened for critics. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Eastport, Clackamas, Bridgeport, Division.

Where to Invade Next

B America hasn’t won a war in a while, Moore posits, so why not use the military nearly 60 percent of our taxes support to invade a country we can get something useful from? In Italy, the film’s first stop, he documents the average Italian’s time off. In Portugal, he talks to cops who no longer bust drug offenders. In France, nutritious and delectable school lunches. But arguments about “Americanness” fall flat out of the mouths of lefties like Moore, and he glosses over some of the existential issues that those other countries face. R. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Fox Tower.

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

C+ Tina Fey stars in this light comedy about the war in Afghanistan, based on the book The Taliban Shuffle by Chicago Tribune writer Kim Barker, who was sent to cover Afghanistan with no prior experience in a war zone. Fey’s portrayal of Barker is the same as other characters you’re used to seeing from her, bumbling yet surprisingly competent, awkward in life, awkward in love. She’s funny for sure, but something just feels off with the 30 Rock-style humor interlaced with the horrific violence of Kabul circa 2004. Mix in some friend drama with Margot Robbie (The Wolf of Wall Street) and a really uncomfortable sexual encounter in which Bilbo Baggins puts his fingers in her mouth, and WTF ends up an awkward teenager of a movie, not sure who it is or why it feels the way it does. It’s occasionally brilliant but never seems comfortable. R. ALEX FALCONE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Forest Theatre, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Fox Tower, Lloyd Center, Tigard, Sandy, St. Johns Cinemas.

Zoolander 2

D Ben Stiller’s sequel falters, as so many sequels do, when it tries to be little more than a repackaging of the original, with more celebrity cameos. Occasionally, there are inspired moments—the mid-’90s aqua vitae commercial—but it ends up as 100 minutes of a movie trying to be dumber than a brain fart. PG-13. JOHN LOCANTHI. Academy, Kennedy School, Mt. Hood, Vancouver.

Zootopia

B Leave it to Disney to sneak powerful, adult messages into a PG-rated movie. A modern-day Morocco, the Zootopia of the title is a metropolitan melting pot, where predator and prey live in perfect, fictional harmony. Every dynamic, doe-eyed character in this animated adventure brings laughs for the kids, and hope for adults that their children won’t adopt Donald Trump ideals. A smalltown bunny with big dreams, Judy Hopps (Ginnifer Goodwin), escapes her carrot-farming future by becoming the first rabbit to join Zootopia’s police force. Little does she know, when predators mysteriously return to their ferocious, prey-hungry ways, her hometown’s small-mindedness multiplies throughout Zootopia faster than bunnies during breeding season. Judy befriends a clever but con-artist fox, Nick Wilde (Jason Bateman), and the unlikely pair fight for equality and understanding while saving the city from savages. There’s a lesson under every hoof, inside every snout, and behind every bubbly buttocks. This movie puts supremacists to shame with its mere, motivational, furry-coated message. PG. AMY WOLFE. Cedar Hills, Eastport, Clackamas, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Evergreen, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Roseway Theatre, Sandy, St. Johns Theater.

For more Movies listings, visit

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

The (Fast) Breaks WHY THE HELL IS HOOSIERS THE BEST BASKETBALL MOVIE EVER? BY A P kRYz A

apkryza@wweek.com

Quick: What’s the absolute best basketball movie ever made? Not a documentary. It took you a second, didn’t it? The answer is Hoosiers. If you’re more nuanced, it might be He Got Game. If you want to sound smart and can Google quickly, maybe you said Cornbread, Earl and Me. But for the majority of sports-movie fans, it’s Hoosiers. The tale of a coach (Gene Hackman) in the heartland of the ’50s coaching a bunch of kids to victory in the brave new world of basketball is the prototype of the modern sports movie. It’s got underdogs. It’s got characters with real issues. It’s grounded in a past era. And it’s whiter than an Oscar party. T h e t r o u b l e w i t h 1 9 8 6 ’s Hoosiers isn’t that it’s not a good movie. It really is. It’s a great sports film. The problem is what makes it arguably the best basketball film ever made (again, due respect to He Got Game), which is that nobody seems to know how the hell to make a good basketball movie. And hardly anyone’s tried. Which is amazing. Of the narratives that feature basketball as a central theme, the overwhelming majority are utterly garbage. How the hell a sport beloved by millions can’t seem to make it to the screen without Bugs Bunny fielding rebounds, a dude in drag, a prepubescent rapper or a goddamn golden retriever dunking is dumbfounding. Even the better, more straightforward movies are simply clones of the Remember the Titans formula—which is itself heavily reliant on the Hoosiers blueprint—and I’ve yet to meet a single person who claims Coach Carter or Glory Road as a movie they love. When the most memorable part of White Men Can’t Jump is Rosie Perez on Jeopardy! and the

“god wanTS you on ThE floor”: gene hackman.

college hoops drama Blue Chips is most fondly remembered as “that movie where Shaq wasn’t a genie,” there’s a problem. Basketball’s a highly kinetic sport, mind you. It’s tailor-made for fast cross-cuts, Zack Snyderesque shots of hardwood warriors flying through the air and white-knuckle countdowns. The players are larger than life, too. In a subgenre so prone to biopics, who wouldn’t want to see a film about the rise of Dr. J or Kareem Abdul-Jabbar? Kareem was a legend, and he trained with Bruce Lee. Or maybe something about Michigan State’s Flintstones—a group of ragtag street kids who went on to team up on a national championship. Or how about anything that, you know, uses the sport as a way to discuss the meaning of sports to disenfranchised youth across generations. Hollywood loves that shit. That’s the thing. We live in a modern cinematic world where fondness for baseball’s heyday is deemed the stuff of movie gold. One where we’ve got more great hockey movies than we have good basketball ones. One where the list of the greatest sports movies of all rime are 75 percent baseball, 20 percent movies in which sports takes a backseat to other drama (Raging Bull and, once again, He Got Game), and one or two are about the actual sport of basketball and the people who play it. That’s got to change. Until it does, a 30-year-old film about white kids in Indiana in the 1950s is the best thing we’ve got. That and Daffy Duck. He’s black, at least. SEE IT: Hoosiers opens Saturday, March 19, at Mission Theater. alSo showinG:

There are bad Godzilla knockoffs. Then there’s South Korea’s gleefully dismal Yongary. Joy Cinema. 9:15 pm Wednesday, March 16. Church of Film’s Folk Supernatural series unearths Czech New Wave master Juraj Herz’s grim take on Beauty and the Beast. North Star Ballroom. 8 pm Wednesday, March 16. Mahtin Scorsese’s The Departed celebrates 10 years of sometimes on, sometimes off Bahston accents. Mission Theater. 5:30 pm Wednesday, March 16. Not all kids caught on to the wonders of Wes Anderson’s stop-motion caper Fantastic Mr. Fox, but those who did probably mastered the art of swearing without actually swearing. Academy Theater. March 18-24.

7:55, 10:20 WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT Wed-Thu 5:00, 7:30 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT Fri-Sat-Sun-MonTue 4:20, 7:00, 9:40

We’re considering discontinuing the Movie Times feature. If you read this page and would miss seeing showtimes, please let us know by writing an email to espitz@ wweek.com. Regal Lloyd Center 10 & IMAX

1510 NE Multnomah St., THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT -- THE IMAX EXPERIENCE Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 1:10, 4:10, 7:10, 10:10 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE: THE IMAX EXPERIENCE Wed-Thu 12:20, 3:25 DARE TO BE: NATALIE GRANT & CHARLOTTE GAMBILL Wed 11:00 LONDON HAS FALLEN Wed-Thu 11:45, 2:30, 5:05 MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN Wed-Thu 12:05, 3:15, 6:25, 9:35 WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT Wed-Thu 12:50, 3:55 ZOOTOPIA Wed-Thu 12:30, 3:35 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE Wed-Thu 1:00, 3:55, 6:50, 9:40 ZOOTOPIA 3D Wed-Thu 1:10, 4:20, 7:10, 10:00 THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY Wed-Thu 12:00, 2:20, 4:45, 7:25, 9:50 THE PERFECT MATCH Wed-Thu 11:50, 2:25, 4:55, 7:35, 10:10 DEADPOOL Wed-Thu 12:40, 3:45, 6:50, 9:45 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:30 BERLIN PHIL: THE BEETHOVEN PROJECT Sat 12:55

Regal Vancouver Plaza 10

7800 NE Fourth Plain Blvd. ZOOLANDER NO. 2 Wed-Thu 1:45, 4:30, 6:50, 9:10 HAIL, CAESAR! Wed-Thu 1:35, 4:15, 7:10, 9:40 THE FINEST HOURS Wed-Thu 1:05, 3:45, 6:40, 9:15 THE 5TH WAVE Wed-Thu 2:05, 4:40, 7:15, 9:45 13 HOURS: THE SECRET SOLDIERS OF BENGHAZI Wed-Thu 12:45, 6:25, 9:25 RIDE ALONG 2 Wed-Thu 2:10, 4:50, 7:25, 9:45 THE FOREST Wed-Thu 1:50, 7:00 ALVIN AND THE CHIPMUNKS: THE ROAD CHIP Wed-Thu 1:25, 3:50, 4:20, 6:15, 8:45 SISTERS Wed-Thu 4:00, 9:05 THE GOOD DINOSAUR WedThu 12:55, 3:35, 4:05, 6:10, 8:55 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 WedThu 1:15, 6:35, 9:30

Regal Division Street Stadium 13

Cinema 21

616 NW 21st Ave., 503-223-4515 BROOKLYN Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 3:45, 6:15 ANOMALISA Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 8:45 THE WAVE Wed-Thu 6:45, 9:00 CHIMES AT MIDNIGHT WedThu 4:00 EISENSTEIN IN GUANAJUATO Wed-Thu 4:45, 9:00 TRAPPED Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 4:30, 7:00, 9:00 CREATIVE CONTROL Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 4:00, 6:45, 9:00

Clinton Street Theater 2522 SE Clinton St., 503-238-8899 NO FILMS SHOWING TODAY Wed-Fri-Mon JIMMY’S HALL Thu 7:00 THE AMAZING BUBBLE MAN Sat 11:00, 2:00 THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW Sat 12:00 TO DREAM OF FALLING UPWARDS Sun 7:30 THE SEA INSIDE Tue 7:00

Laurelhurst Theatre & Pub

2735 E Burnside St., 503-232-5511 DEMOLITION MAN Wed-Thu 9:30 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Wed-Thu 8:45 JOY Wed-Thu 9:15 SISTERS Wed-Thu 7:00 CAROL Wed-Thu 6:15 THE DANISH GIRL Wed-Thu 6:30 ROOM Wed-Thu 9:00

Mission Theater and Pub

1624 NW Glisan St. THE DEPARTED Wed 5:30 BRAVEHEART Wed-Fri 3:30 HOOSIERS Fri-Sun-Tue 5:30 PRACTICAL MAGIC Mon-Tue 3:00

St. Johns Cinemas

8704 N Lombard St., 503-286-1768 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE WedThu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 5:15,

2021 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-231-7919 DEADPOOL Wed-Thu-Fri-SatSun-Mon-Tue 5:30, 7:45, 10:00

Regal City Center Stadium 12

801 C St. 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE WedThu 12:50, 3:55, 6:35, 9:10 THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY WedThu 11:40, 1:50, 4:05, 6:20, 8:35 MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN Wed-Thu 11:20, 2:40, 5:30, 8:05 LONDON HAS FALLEN Wed-Thu 1:00, 3:30, 6:05, 9:00 WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT Wed-Thu 12:05, 2:55, 5:40, 8:25 ZOOTOPIA Wed-Thu 11:30, 8:00 ZOOTOPIA 3D Wed-Thu 2:15, 5:00 EDDIE THE EAGLE Wed-Thu 1:10, 3:45, 6:25, 9:05 DEADPOOL Wed-Thu 12:40, 3:20, 6:15, 8:55 SON OF SAUL Wed-Thu 12:20, 3:05, 5:45, 8:20 THE REVENANT Wed-Thu 11:10, 1:55 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 11:00, 2:10, 5:20 SPOTLIGHT WedThu 11:35, 2:30, 5:50, 8:50 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT Thu-Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 11:15, 2:05, 5:00, 8:10

Kennedy School Theater

5736 NE 33rd Ave., 503-249-7474 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Wed-Thu 5:30 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Wed-Thu 8:00 THE FINEST HOURS Wed 2:30

Hollywood Theatre

4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215 THE WITCH Wed-Thu 7:15, 9:20 THE REVENANT WedThu 6:30, 9:35 PSYCHO-PASS: THE MOVIE Wed 7:00, 9:30 FRAME BY FRAME Thu 7:30

Regal Fox Tower Stadium 10

846 SW Park Ave. KNIGHT OF CUPS Wed-Thu 1:00, 4:00, 7:00, 9:50 THE BOY AND THE BEAST WedThu 12:10, 3:10, 6:10, 8:50 WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT Wed-Thu 12:20, 4:10, 6:45, 9:40 ONLY YESTERDAY Wed-Thu 12:30, 3:30, 6:30, 9:10 MEI RéN Yú Wed-Thu 3:45 MEI RéN Yú 3D WedThu 9:00 THE WITCH WedThu 12:00, 2:30, 4:45, 7:20, 10:00 HOW TO BE SINGLE Wed-Thu 1:10, 6:50 WHERE TO INVADE NEXT Wed-Thu 12:50, 6:20 THE LADY IN THE VAN Wed-Thu 12:45, 3:20, 6:00, 8:40 THE REVENANT Wed-Thu 12:00, 2:50, 6:30, 9:20 SPOTLIGHT Wed-Thu 12:40, 3:40, 6:40, 9:30 ROOM Wed-Thu 3:50, 9:20

NW Film Center

1219 SW Park Ave., 503-221-1156 OUT 1: NOLI ME TANGERE

Regal Pioneer Place Stadium 6

340 SW Morrison St. 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE Wed-Thu 1:30, 4:15, 7:15, 9:50 THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY Wed-Thu 2:00, 4:50, 7:30, 10:00 LONDON HAS FALLEN Wed-Thu 1:40, 4:30, 7:10, 9:45 ZOOTOPIA Wed-Thu 1:00, 9:30 ZOOTOPIA 3D WedThu 3:50, 7:20 EDDIE THE EAGLE Wed-Thu 1:15 TRIPLE 9 Wed-Thu 4:00 DEADPOOL Wed-Thu 1:50, 4:40, 6:40, 9:55 THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT Thu-Fri-Sat-SunMon-Tue 12:30, 3:30, 7:15, 10:15

Academy Theater

7818 SE Stark St., 503-252-0500 THE HATEFUL EIGHT WedThu 11:00, 9:30 JOY Wed-Thu 4:10, 9:50 THE DANISH GIRL Wed-Thu 11:10, 7:20 THE GOOD DINOSAUR Wed-Thu 2:15 CAROL Wed-Thu 11:00, 4:35 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 WedThu 6:45 ROOM Wed-Thu 1:40, 7:00 BRIDGE OF SPIES WedThu 4:25 THERE WILL BE BLOOD Wed-Thu 1:25, 9:40

Valley Theater

9360 SW Beaverton-Hillsdale Highway, 503-296-6843 DIRTY GRANDPA Wed-Thu 8:50 THE FINEST HOURS Wed-Thu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 9:05 THE HUNGER GAMES: MOCKINGJAY, PART 2 WedThu-Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 8:30 DADDY’S HOME Wed-Thu-FriSat 6:20 THE HATEFUL EIGHT Fri-Sat-Sun-Mon-Tue 8:20

Murmurs P.6

the potlander free

Oc t ob e r 2 0 15

the

Potlander EVERY THING YOU NEED TO KNOW

ABOUT LEGAL CANNABIS IN STUMPTOWN

Living Room Theaters 341 SW 10th Ave., 971-222-2010 45 YEARS Wed-Thu 12:05, 2:30, 4:40, 7:40 EMBRACE OF THE SERPENT Wed-Thu 11:50, 2:25, 5:00, 6:50, 9:20 HAIL, CAESAR! Wed-Thu 11:45, 2:05, 4:35, 6:40, 7:30, 9:00, 9:45 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS 3D Wed-Thu 12:00, 9:25 THE BIG SHORT Wed-Thu 11:50, 2:00, 4:20, 7:00, 9:40 THE LAST MAN ON THE MOON Wed-Thu 12:30, 2:40, 4:50, 7:15, 9:45

SubjecT To change. call TheaTerS or ViSiT WWeek.coM/MoVieTiMeS For The MoST up-To-daTe inForMaTion Friday-ThurSday, March 18-24, unleSS oTherWiSe indicaTed

c o u r T e S y o F k e u k d o n g e n T e r Ta i n M e n T

16603 SE Division St. THE DIVERGENT SERIES: ALLEGIANT Wed-Thu-FriSat-Sun-Mon-Tue 12:00, 3:15, 7:00, 10:00 MIRACLES FROM HEAVEN Wed-Thu

CineMagic Theatre 11:35, 2:10, 4:45, 7:20, 10:00 10 CLOVERFIELD LANE Wed-Thu 11:40, 2:15, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10 THE BROTHERS GRIMSBY Wed-Thu 11:55, 2:30, 5:20, 7:40, 10:25 THE YOUNG MESSIAH Wed-Thu 12:15, 3:15, 6:40, 9:55 LONDON HAS FALLEN Wed-Thu 11:35, 2:05, 4:55, 7:35, 10:15 WHISKEY TANGO FOXTROT Wed-Thu 12:30, 3:10, 6:50, 9:35 ZOOTOPIA Wed-Thu 11:30, 2:10, 4:35, 7:15, 9:30 ZOOTOPIA 3D Wed-Thu 12:00, 2:40, 5:05, 7:45, 10:00 EDDIE THE EAGLE Wed-Thu 11:50 GODS OF EGYPT WedThu 3:20 GODS OF EGYPT 3D Wed-Thu 12:10 TRIPLE 9 Wed-Thu 9:50 RISEN Wed-Thu 12:25, 3:00, 7:00 DEADPOOL Wed-Thu 11:45, 2:20, 4:50, 7:20, 9:55 STAR WARS: THE FORCE AWAKENS Wed-Thu 12:20, 3:30, 6:30, 9:40 THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOOR Thu 2:25

(EPISODES 5 & 6) Wed 6:30 OUT 1: NOLI ME TANGERE (EPISODES 7 & 8) Thu 6:30 MEN IN WAR Fri 7:00 THE LONG VOYAGE HOME Sat 4:30 WINGS OF DESIRE Sat 7:00 MY BEST GIRL Sun 4:30 SPRING NIGHT, SUMMER NIGHT Sun 7:00 THE LEFTHANDED WOMAN Mon 7:00 BACHELOR’S AFFAIRS Tue 7:00

100-PLUS DISPENSARY REVIEWS • STRAIN PICKS • BEER PAIRINGS • SHOPPING ETIQUETTE • MUCH MORE

SAVE THE DATE! Publishes: APril 20, 2016 Space Reservation & Materials Deadline: Thursday, March 31 at 10am Call: 503.243.2122 Email: advertising@wweek.com reserVe YOur sPACe TODAY!

GoDzILLANAToR: Yongary plays at Joy Cinema at 9 pm Wednesday, March 16. Willamette Week MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

END ROLL

SOUR APPLE & LSD ORGANIC $20 EIGHTHS $40 QUARTERS

1979 NW VAUGHN ST. SUITE B PORTLAND, OR 97209

BLUEBERRY & SHISHKABERRY

Triple Tryout

TAX INCLUDED IN PRICE

A HORIZONTAL TASTING OF BUDS GROWN OUTDOORS, INDOORS AND IN A GREENHOUSE.

ORGANIC $18 EIGHTH $36 QUARTER

HOURS: Open 7 days a week: 11am– 7pm Closed 1:30 – 2pm daily.

BY TYLER HU R ST

Just North of the Pearl District.

@tdhurst

WWW.VESSELPDX.COM

wweek.com/bop2016

There are a lot of ways to grow cannabis. Some go the body-builder route, pumping their plants full of supplements in cramped rooms with powerful lights to grow gleaming crystalline buds that shimmer with THC. Others go for the more naturalistic yoga-style route. The Cultivation Classic, which WW is hosting April 30 with Farma and Cascadia Labs, is a cannabis competition open to farmers that don’t use any crazy chemicals. Entrants will compete in three categories: indoor, outdoor and greenhouse. All entrants will be free of pesticides, herbicides, fungicides, and mineral salt fertilizers. That got us thinking: In terms of the final product, which of these methods is the best? We decided to do a horizontal tasting of buds from Sofresh Farms. So we grabbed one-eighth ounces of its indoor- and outdoor-grown Violet Delight. We could not find greenhouse-grown Violet Delight, so instead we got greenhousegrown Sweet Tooth. Armed with a silicone bong, pipe and a hot box vaporizer, we took all the time we needed to see how each strain stacked up. Just like any kind of produce, the growing method has a massive effect on taste and aroma. We were shocked to learn which we preferred.

Indoor-grown Violet Delight An indoor-grown nug kicked our tasting off. That nug was about the size of a large marble, and glistened with trichomes when hit with a flashlight. Light green sugar leaf and wiry orange pistils made touching the flower a dicey affair, and we felt a little bad grinding it up to toke. Its linalool-derived lavender scent reminded our reviewer so much of a bubble bath he attempted to hot box it, forgetting about the wet laundry hanging to dry. Oops. The smoke, about as thick as a windshield steamed up from the inside, dissipated quickly without any throat agitation. A vape hit tasted like lavender ice cream without the richness of frozen dairy. The high is heady at first, beginning behind the nose and spreading up to the eyes, then to the cheeks, and relaxing in the chest, shoulders and body. Let’s liken this to produce available from your trusted, long-term supermarket—minus the GMOs.

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2016 wweek.com

Outdoor-grown Violet Delight We next tried the same strain, by the same farmer, but grown outdoors. The nugs were denser— in the way cauliflower is to broccoli. It too had sparking trichomes but lacked the light green coloring and extending pistils. Considering this plant was subject to uncontrolled outdoor conditions, it’s not surprising it looks so different. The aroma was milder—as if it were somehow diluted, but not worsened. The burn wasn’t as clean, though all the ash was white. The smoke was far more voluminous and opaque than its indoor-grown sibling, more of a gulp than a smooth draw. The high, which built more slowly, starts flatter behind the cheeks and nose, then rides a wave up to the forehead and down to the chest. This is like the produce you get from your grandma’s backyard garden.

Greenhouse-grown Sweet Tooth This product was grown in a greenhouse and tasted of nuts and cheese. It was bright green with orange pistils, frosty with crystals and with well-defined calyxes and sugar leaves. You could have taken it straight to a photo shoot. The smoke was sharp but not grating, and was gone before we noticed to look. The bud itself didn’t feel overly dry, but crumbled easily—this almost doesn’t need a grinder. Its high goes straight to the forehead and then back to the temples before it propels your chest forward. Ash is almost nonexistent, though what little there was burned completely white just like its indoor-sample cousin. If this were on a store shelf, it would be in the organic, sustainable and super-expensive section where only the best kind of people shop before also picking up a $60 bottle of whiskey. So who wins? Well, the indoor tasted the best and the greenhouse smelled and looked the best, but we’d choose the outdoor-grown every time. While we’re excited to see if another strain can convince us differently—if you’re a grower, enter the Cultivation Classic by March 23—it’s good to know that growing cannabis is just as much an art as a science, with a whole lot of nature thrown in. GO: The Cultivation Classic is Saturday, April 30, at the North Warehouse, 723 N Tillamook St. Noon-6 pm. Tickets go on sale March 30 at wweek.com. 21+.

MARCH 16, 2016

CLASSIFIEDS TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

WELLNESS COUNSELING

MATT PLAMBECK

call

Charles

503-740-5120

lmt#6250

CHATLINES, ADULT, JONESIN’

LESSONS CLASSICAL PIANO/ KEYBOARD

IF THE OBSERVER changes the observed, what happens when we observe ourselves? Gurdjieff Group Jerry 503-651-3857

ALL AGES. STANDARDS, CLASSICAL, MUSICALS. EUROPEAN TRAINED. PORTLAND 503-227-6557

MCMENAMINS historic Grand Lodge is NOW HIRING for all positions!

Current openings include, Line Cooks, Dishwashers, Servers, Foodrunners/ Bussers, Catering Servers, Bartenders, Hosts, Theater Servers, Spa LMT’s and more! What we need from you: An open and flexible schedule, including days, evenings, weekends and holidays; Previous experience is preferred, but we are willing to train! ; A love of working in a busy, customer service-oriented environment; Seasonal and Long term positions are available. Interested in a career in the hospitality industry? We offer opportunities for advancement as well as an excellent benefit package to eligible employees, including vision, medical, chiropractic, dental and so much more! Apply online 24/7 at mcmenamins. com OR join us for our Spring JOB FAIR on Wednesday, March 16th from 11am to 4pm. Stop by the Grand Lodge, and fill out an application. Managers will be on hand to talk to interested applicants. EOE.

JOBS

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE.

CLASSES

CLASSES AT BEE THINKING Meadmaking, Beeswax 101, Beekeeping, Honey Recipes, and more!!! Now Enrolling (877) 325-2221 www.beethinking.com Visit our retail space at 1551 SE Poplar.

LEGAL NOTICES

PHYSICAL FITNESS

BILL PEC FITNESS Personalized Training

MCMENAMINS historic Grand Lodge is NOW HIRING for SPA positions!

Current openings include, spa coordinator, LMT’s, cosmetologists and nail technicians. What we need from you: An open and flexible schedule, including days, evenings, weekends and holidays! Licensed applicant only; A love of working in a busy, customer service-oriented environment; Seasonal and Long term positions are available. Interested in a career in the hospitality/spa industry? We offer opportunities for advancement as well as an excellent benefit package to eligible employees, including vision, medical, chiropractic, dental and so much more! Apply online 24/7 at mcmenamins.com OR join us for our Spring JOB FAIR on Wednesday, March 16th from 2pm to 4pm. Stop by the Grand Lodge, and fill out an application. Managers will be on hand to talk to interested applicants. EOE.

503-252-6035

FOLLOW @ WWE E K ON TWITTER

WE’VE GOT THE JOB FOR YOU!

MR. B’S CLASSIC MEXICAN FOOD CART Seeks Space in Food Pod 503.239.7142

EVENTS

Carnatic Flute Concert by

SHASHANK SUBRAMANYAM

with SANDHYA SRINATH on Violin and SHRIRAM BRAHMANANDAM on Mridangam

Saturday, March 19, 2016 at 7:00 pm

First Baptist Church

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES AUTO PROCESSING PLANT North Portland. Men & Women, must drive stick shift 360-718-7443

WANTED

BULLETIN BOARD

HOSPITALITY/RESTAURANT

TOTALLY RELAXING MASSAGE Featuring Swedish, deep tissue and sports techniques by a male therapist. Conveniently located, affordable, and preferring male clientele at this time. #5968 By appointment Tim 503.482.3041

REAL ESTATE

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY, INSIDE BACK COVER

SPIRITUALITY

MASSAGE (LICENSED)

REL A X!

WELLNESS, EMPLOYMENT, BULLETIN BOARD, SERVICES, REAL ESTATE, MUSICIANS MARKET, CHATLINES

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

SHAMANIC MEDICINE

INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE

53 54 55

SUMMONS KINGSLEY SAUNDERS VERSOZA.Petitioner. vs MAYLYN KANE, andORLANDO MARIO WARE, RespondentsTo: Maylvn Kane and Orlando Mario Ware:You arc hereby required to appear and defend the Petition for Paternity, Custody, and Parenting Time filed against you in the above-entitled cause within thirty (30) days from date of service of this summons upon you, and in case of your failure to do so. for want thereof, Petitioner will apply to the court for relief demanded in the Petitioner for Paternity, including an order awarding Petitioner custody and paternity recognizing him as the legal rather of La’ Ria May Ware, and an order of non-paternity against Mr. Orlando Mario Ware. NOTICE TO THE RESPONDENTS: READ THESE PAPERS CAREFULLY! You “appear” in this case the other side will win automatically. To “appear” you must file with the court a legal paper called a “motion” or “answer.” The “motion” or “answer” must be given to the court clerk or administrator within 30 days from the date of the first publication date of this Summons along with the required tiling Rx. It must be in proper form and have proof of service on thePetitioner’s attorney or. if the Petitioner does not have an attorney, proof of service upon the Petitioner. If you have any questions. you should see an attorney immediately. if you need help in finding an attorney, you may call the Oregon State Bar’s Lawyer Referral Service at (503) 684-3763 or toll-free in Oregon at (800) 452-7636. In addition. you have been ordered by the court to appear at Multnomah County Courthouse on -May 19, 2016 to why DNA testing in this case should not be ordered, you are also required to appear at 9:00 AM at Multnomah CountyCourthouse for case assignment on the show cause on May 18, 2016. A default order against you recognizing Kingsley Versoza as La’ Ria’s biological Father shall be sought if you fail to appear.S/Liza Langford; OSB 882509 0324 SW Abernathy Street Portland. Oregon 97239 (503) 274ó9070Published March 9, 16, 23 and 30, 2016

909 SW 11th Avenue, Portland, OR 97205 Tickets at www.kalakendra.org Adults: $20 ($25 at door) Children (3-12 yrs): $10 ($12.50 at door), Students (with ID): $15 Admission is FREE for 2015-16 Friends of Kalakendra

Team Mueller Congrats Team Mueller on $6,000,000 Sale of 150 acres in Yamhill County

Price Matters call Team Mueller

info@kalakendra.org | Phone: 503-308-1050

SERVICES BUILDING/REMODELING

FJ Mueller 503.750.8030

503.241.7325

Christian Mueller 503.419.8704

636 NW 21 Ave Portland • 4200 Mercantile Dr Lake Oswego

MUSICIANS MARKET

CHATLINES

FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE TRADEUPMUSIC.COM Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

MUSIC LESSONS HAULING/MOVING LJ’S HAULING ANYTHING Removal of Metal/Cars free 503-839-7222

TREE SERVICES STEVE GREENBERG TREE SERVICE Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077

WWEEK.COM

LEARN PIANO ALL STYLES, LEVELS With 2 time Grammy winner Peter Boe. 503-274-8727.

BANDIT HATS

40% OFF

Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MATT PLAMBECK

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

CHATLINES

JONESIN’

by Matt Jones

“South by What?”–a lack of direction. offering 63 Heir, in legal terminology 64 Zappa with the given name Ian 65 Expected to come in 66 Miles ___ gallon 67 Sun. discourse 68 Paid promos 69 Cat consumer of ‘80s TV 70 Docs

Strike a LiveMatch!

Across 1 IRS Form 1040 figure 4 Imperial follower? 7 Baltic, e.g. 10 Bunny bounce 13 Vietnamese soup 14 It’s chalked before a shot 15 Efficient movements 17 Share, sometimes 19 Influential filmmakers 20 Cut cards with your stomach muscles?

22 Barrett once in Pink Floyd 23 Barcelona bulls 24 “Electric” fish 26 Dead even 29 ___-of-themoment 30 Agcy. concerned with fraud 32 When, in Spanish 34 Right-angled pipes used for gay parade floats? 37 Broadway star Hagen 38 Feedbag bit 39 Nose, bottom of

your foot, that spot you can’t reach on your back, e.g.? 46 Out like a light 47 DeLuise in Burt Reynolds outtakes 48 Prefix for space 51 Scratch up like a cougar 52 ___-Therese, Quebec 54 Donates 55 Apr. season 57 Sleeveless garment it’s OK to spill food on? 60 Home-cooked

Down 1 Mother Goose dieters 2 1984 Cyndi Lauper song 3 “That’s a lie!” 4 Slurpee competitors 5 Sought damages from 6 Give (out) 7 “Thus ___ Zarathustra” 8 Perfumery word 9 Crafts’ counterparts 10 Famed escapologist 11 “___ American Cousin” 12 Letters near 7, on some phones 16 Synth instrument with a shoulder strap 18 Fingerprint pattern 21 “___ n’est pas une pipe”: Magritte 25 “Fiddler on the Roof” toast 27 Former “Tonight Show” announcer Hall

28 Jane in a court case 30 Aperture settings 31 “___ the night before Christmas ...” 33 Not more than 35 Rapper ___ Fiasco 36 Band who felt the rains down in Africa 39 Eminem’s “The Way ___” 40 Letters seen in airports 41 Cereal bunch 42 “S.O.S.!” 43 Germ for an invention 44 Inexperienced 45 Dinner hour 49 Do a crop rotation chore 50 Some blenders 53 Poker players look for them 54 Sorrow 56 Playwright Yasmina 58 “Look what I’ve done!” 59 Hebrew month before Tishrei 60 Most TVs, these days 61 Have a payment due 62 Helping hand last week’s answers

©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ771.

FREE CHATROOMS 24/7

FREE 1on1 8-9PM daily

ALWAYS FREE to chat with VIP members

(Unlimited VIP membership $15/week. No worries about minutes.)

Portland 503-222-CHAT Vancouver 360-314-CHAT

Salem 503-428-5748 • Eugene 541-636-9099 • Bend 541-213-2444 Seattle 206-753-CHAT •Albany (541)248-1481 • Medford (541)326-4000

or WEB PHONE on LiveMatch.com

REAL PEOPLE REAL DESIRE REAL FUN.

MAN to MAN

Free Live chatrooms & forums! 503-222-6USA

Classified

Try FREE: 503-416-7098 More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000

Ahora español Livelinks.com 18+ 54

Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

matt plambeck

Week of March 17

BACK COVER continued... TO PLACE AN AD ON BACK COVER CONTINUED call 503-445-2757

ARIES (March 21-April 19) Artist Steven Spasuk works exclusively with an unusual medium: soot from candles and torches. He spreads the stuff across a blank canvas, then uses various instruments to sculpt the accidental blobs into definitive forms. I’ve seen the results, and they’re both well-done and intriguing. What would be the metaphorical equivalent, in your world, of using soot to make beautiful and interesting things? I think you’re primed to turn waste into building blocks, rot into splendor, and lead into gold. (See Spazuk’s work at spazuk.com.) TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Carl Sagan said that science thrives on “two seemingly contradictory attitudes: an openness to new ideas, no matter how bizarre or counterintuitive, and the most ruthless skeptical scrutiny of all ideas, old and new.” Whether or not you are a scientist, Taurus, I recommend that you practice this approach in the coming weeks. It’s the tool that’s most likely to keep you centered and free of both rigidity and illusion. As Sagan concluded, this is “how deep truths are winnowed from deep nonsense.” GEMINI (May 21-June 20) “Excess on occasion is exhilarating,” said British author W. Somerset Maugham. “It prevents moderation from acquiring the deadening effect of a habit.” Now would be an excellent time to take that advice to heart, Gemini. According to my analysis of the astrological omens, you not only have a license to engage in rowdy fun and extravagant pleasures; it’s your sacred duty. So get out there and treat yourself to an orgy of naughty adventures -- or at least a celebration of meaningful thrills. You can return to the rigors of discipline and order once you have harvested the healthy benefits that will come from escaping them. CANCER (June 21-July 22) At one point in Friedrich Nietzsche’s book Thus Spoke Zarathustra, the hero is having a conversation with himself. “You have wanted to pet every monster,” he says. “A whiff of warm breath, a little soft tuft on the paw -- and at once you were ready to love and to lure it.” If I were you, Cancerian, I would regard that type of behavior as forbidden in the coming weeks. In fact, I will ask you not to pet any monsters at all -- not even the cute ones; not even the beasties and rascals and imps that have slight resemblances to monsters. It’s time for maximum discernment and caution. (P.S.: One of the monsters may ultimately become a non-monstrous ally if you are wary toward it now.) LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) On a social media site, I posted the following quote from self-help teacher Byron Katie: “Our job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in our life is to push our buttons.” One commenter took issue with this. “’Pushing buttons’ is a metaphor that’s long past its expiration date,” she wrote. “Can’t you come up with something fresher?” So I did. Here are a few potential substitutes for “push our buttons”: “tweak our manias” . . . “prank our obsessions” . . . “glitter-bomb our biases” . . . “squeeze our phobias” . . . “badger our compulsions” . . . “seduce our repressions” . . . “prick our dogmas.” Whichever expression you prefer, Leo, find a graceful way to embrace your fate: Your current job is unconditional love. The job of everyone else in your life is to tweak your manias and prick your dogmas. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) In the coming weeks, you will have maximum power to revise and reinvigorate your approach to cultivating intimate relationships. To aid your quest, I offer this paraphrased advice from Andrew Boyd: Almost every one of us seeks a special partner who is just right. But there is no right person, just different flavors of wrong. Why? Because you yourself are “wrong” in some ways -you have demons and flaws and problems. In fact, these “wrongs” are essential components of who you are. When you ripen into this understanding, you’re ready to find and be with your special counterpart. He or she has the precise set of problems you need -- is the person who is wrong for you in just the right ways. (See Boyd’s original quote: tinyurl.com/boydquote.)

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) In her book The Winter Vault, Anne Michaels says, “We become ourselves when things are given to us or when things are taken away.” If she’s right, does it mean we should be grateful for those times when things are taken away? Should we regard moments of loss as therapeutic prods that compel us to understand ourselves better and to create ourselves with a fiercer determination? Meditate on these possibilities, Libra. In the meantime, I’m pleased to announce that the things-getting-takenaway period of your cycle is winding down. Soon you’ll begin a new phase, when you can become a deeper, stronger version of yourself because of the things that are given to you. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) “I’ll make love when the lust subsides,” sings Denitia, one-half of the electro-pop band Denitia and Sene. That would be a good motto for you to play around with in the coming days, Scorpio -- in both literal and metaphorical ways. I’ll enjoy seeing how your emotional intelligence ripens as the white-hot passion of recent weeks evolves into a more manageable warmth. As fun as the intensity has been, it has blinded you to some of the possibilities for collaborative growth that have been emerging. You may now be ready to explore and appreciate sweeter, subtler pleasures. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) “The poems I have loved the most are those I have understood the least,” said T. S. Eliot. I’m going to steal and expand upon his idea for the purpose of giving you an accurate horoscope. In the coming days, Sagittarius, I suspect that the experiences you love most will be those that you understand the least. Indeed, the experiences you NEED the most will be those that surprise and mystify and intrigue you. Luckily, life will be ingenious in bypassing your analytical intelligence so as to provide you with rich emotional stimuli for your soul.

The Ultimate Sports Bar

Buy More For Less 7am/2:30am Everyday

All Sports Packages • All Lottery Games • Free Ping Pong Table Internet Jukebox • Live DJ Fri/Sat • Over 20 HD TVs • Big Buck Hunter HD Check Out Our Facebook Page for Give Aways

1735 W Burnside • 503-224-1341

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Capricorn painter Henri Matisse made the following testimony about his creative process: “At each stage I reach a balance, a conclusion. At the next sitting, if I find that there is a weakness in the whole, I make my way back into the picture by means of the weakness -I re-enter through the breach -- and I reconceive the whole. Thus everything becomes fluid again.” I recommend this approach to you in the coming days, Capricorn. You’ve been making decent progress on your key project. To keep up the good work, you should now find where the cracks are, and let them teach you how to proceed from here. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) “We all lead three lives,” said Austrian novelist Thomas Bernhard, “an actual one, an imaginary one, and the one we are not aware of.” I suspect you’ll get big glimpses of your third life in the coming weeks, Aquarius: the one you’re normally not aware of. It might freak you out a bit, maybe unleash a few blasts of laughter and surges of tears. But if you approach these revelations with reverent curiosity, I bet they will be cleansing and catalytic. They are also likely to make you less entranced by your imaginary life and better grounded in your actual life. PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) “The greatest illusion is not religion,” says aphorist Michael Lipsey. “It’s waking up in the morning imagining how much you’re going to get done today.” But even if that’s often true, Pisces, I suspect that you have the power to refute it in the coming weeks. Your ability to accomplish small wonders will be at a peak. Your knack for mastering details and acting with practical acumen may be unprecedented. For the immediate future, then, I predict that you’ll largely be able to get done what you imagine you can get done.

Homework Identify your fondest childhood memory, and recreate in the present time the feeling you had back then. Testify at Freewillastrology.com.

SERVICES OFFERED • Pap smears and annual exams • Sexually Transmitted Infection testing • Contraception including IUD insertions • Irregular bleeding • Menopause Management • Herbal Consultations both western and traditional Mayan herbs • Nutritional counseling Referrals and coordination of care as needed

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

freewillastrology.com

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 Willamette Week Classifieds MARCH 16, 2016 wweek.com

BACK COVER

TO ADVERTISE ON WILLAMETTE WEEK’S BACK COVER CALL 503-445-2757

BANKRUPTCY

Be Debt Free in 2016! I can help. Scott M. Hutchinson, Atty. Call now at 503-808-9032 Free Confidential Consultation. Affordable Payment Plans. Visit: Hutchinson-Law.com

A FEMALE FRIENDLY SEX TOY BOUTIQUE Atomic Auto atomicauto.biz 2510 NE Sandy Blvd. (503) 969-3134

$$$ CASH FOR DIABETIC TEST STRIPS $$$

for every body BRINGIN' SEXY BACK: NAVIGATING SEX AFTER CANCER / SUN, MAR 20 - 7:30 - $10 THE JOYS OF TOYS! / THURS, 5 - 7:30 - $15 TO BDSM / WED, MAR 23 -7:30 - $20 FULL-WAITLIST PLEASURE, POWER, ANDFEB PAIN: AN INTRO EVEN MORE PLEASURE, POWER, & EXPANDING YOUR BDSMAPRIL EXPERIENCES / THURS, 19 - 7:30 - $20 INTRO TO ROPE BONDAGE W/PAIN: STELLA HARRIS / SUN, 10 - 7:30 - $20 FEB FULL-WAITLIST BACK THAT ASS UP!: ANAL SEX 101 / WED, FEB 25 SALON - 7:30 - $20/ WED, APRIL 13 -7:30 - $20 EXPLORING BURLESQUE: STRIPTEASE LET’S PLAY WITH ROPE TONIGHT!: A FRIENDLY INTRO TO BONDAGE / SUN, MAR 1 7:30 $20 COMING IN APRIL: TRISTAN TAORMINO / OPEN RELATIONSHIPS / G-SPOT & EJACULATION WORKSHOPS CAN BE 3213 ASL SE INTERPRETED NOW AT TWO LOCATIONS! DIVISION ST ANDUPON AT 909REQUEST N BEECH ST PORTLAND SHEBOPTHESHOP.COM

NOW AT TWO LOCATIONS! 3213 SE DIVISION ST AND AT 909 N BEECH ST PORTLAND SHEBOPTHESHOP.COM

Paying up to $30/box. Help those who can’t afford insurance. Free pickup in SW WA and Portland Metro. Call 360-693-0185 ext 500

Guitar Lessons

PORTLAND’S

Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. www.portlandguitar-lessons.com 503-546-3137

BURIED IN DEBT? I CAN HELP YOU!

I am an experienced, compassionate attorney who can help you find the right solution for you. Stop garnishments, stop foreclosure, deal with tax liabilities and rid yourself of debt. Let me help you find your path to financial freedom. Call Christopher Kane at 503-380-7822. chris@ckanelaw.com or ckanelaw.com

Comedy Classes

Improv, Standup, Sketch writing. Now enrolling The Brody Theater, 503-224-2227 www.brodytheater.com

Muay Thai

Self defense & outstanding conditioning. www.nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

Qigong Classes

Cultivate health and energy www.nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

WHERE SINGLES MEET Browse & Reply FREE! 503-299-9911 Use FREE Code 2557, 18+

ROSE CITY GUN & KNIFE SHOW

Mar. 19th & 20th Portland Expo Center Sat. 9-5, Sun 9-3. Admission $10. 503-363-9564 wesknodelgunshows.com Combo Tickets w/PDX Roadster Show for sale - discounted price!

Top 1% Portland Agent

Stephen FitzMaurice, Realtor Home Selling Specialist 12+ Years Experience 4.5% Max Commission Stellar service and marketing. Broker in OR at Premiere Property Group. 3636 NE Broadway St. 503-975-6853. RealEstateAgentPDX.com

Non-Profit Law Firm

SAINT PATRICK’S WEEK

Garnished? Eviction? Foreclosure? We can help. Call 503-208-4079 Bankruptcy - Tenant - Sliding-Scale www.communitylawproject.org

PRESENTED BY

OMMP CARDHOLDERS GET 25% DISCOUNT!

Marijuana Store & More *971-255-1456* 1310 SE 7TH AVE

Quick fix synthetic urine now available. Your hookah headquarters. Vapes. E-cigs, glass pipes, discount tobacco, detox products, salvia and kratom Still Smokin’ Glass and Tobacco 12302 SE Powell 503-762-4219

$Cash for Junk Vehicles$

SO, YOU GOT A DUII. NOW WHAT?

4911 NE Sandy Blvd. Portland, OR 97213 503-384-WEED (9333)

Ask for Steven. 503-936-5923

AA HYDROPONICS

9966 SW Arctic Drive, Beaverton 9220 SE Stark Street, Portland American Agriculture • americanag.com PDX 503-256-2400 BVT 503-641-3500

CASH for INSTRUMENTS Tradeupmusic.com SE - 503-236-8800 NE - 503-335-8800

Get help from an experienced DUII trial lawyer Free Consult./ Vigorous Defense/ Affordable Fees David D. Ghazi, Attorney at Law 620 SW Main St, Ste. 702 (503)-224-DUII (3844) david@ddglegal.com

P R O U D LY BENEFITING

kellsirish.com Smoke Pot and Want Mental Clarity?

Science-tested plant-based drink will do that and more.Free samples for serious inquiries.Susan 503-577-4708

NORTH WEST HYDROPONIC R&R

We Buy, Sell & Trade New and Used Hydroponic Equipment. 503-747-3624

N E W S R E S TAU R A N T S B A R S M U S I C A R T S C A N N A B I S W W E E K .C O M

MEDICAL MARIJUANA Card Services Clinic

New Downtown Location! 1501 SW Broadway www.mellowmood.com

4119 SE Hawthorne, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473)

503 235 1035

503-384-WEED (9333) www.mmcsclinic.com 4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland Mon-Sat 9-6

Pizza Delivery

Until 4AM!