42 31 willamette week, june 1, 2016 by Willamette Week Newspaper

BREAKING! WESTSIDERS LESS SUPPORTIVE OF BIG TAX HIKES. P. 7 YOUR BEST BETS FOR THE BRIDGETOWN COMEDY FESTIVAL. P. 41 TWO DAYS OF EATING ONLY CANNABIS-INFUSED FOOD. P. 18 WILLAMETTE WEEK PORTLAND’S NEWSWEEKLY

“OR LOBSTER CLAWS, OR WHATEVER.” P. 4 BY JA K E WASS O N

AN EXTERMINATOR’S EXPERIENCES AT THE INTERSECTION OF WILDERNESS AND CIVILIZATION. WWEEK.COM

VOL 42/31 6.1.2016

PAGE 12

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

HENRY CROMETT

FINDINGS

PAGE 24

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 42, ISSUE 31.

Some people find it odd that the police chief is still getting paid, even though he shot his buddy while drinking and lied about it. 4 The David Douglas School District has declining enrollment, but still says it has too many students and thus opposes high-density development. 9 The lead in the water at Creston and Rose City Park schools was the tip of the iceberg. 10 There are crystal mines in the northern Cascades. 12

ON THE COVER:

You can subsist on nothing but cannabis-infused edibles. 18 If you want grease-soaked ciabatta and flan that tastes like diabetic cheesecake in a food court that has a key-coded restroom, there is a place. 25 Lindy West’s new memoir throws some shade at Dan Savage. 45 The poor, dumb bastard who spent years making an Indiana Jones fan film instead doing Smokey and the Bandit is convinced he made the right decision. 49

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

Kill ’Em All by James MacKenzie.

Edward Sharpe and his band are sorry about that graﬃti on the St. Johns Bridge.

STAFF Editor & Publisher Mark Zusman EDITORIAL News Editor Aaron Mesh Arts & Culture Editor Martin Cizmar Staff Writers Nigel Jaquiss, Rachel Monahan, Beth Slovic Copy Chief Rob Fernas Copy Editors Matt Buckingham, Maya McOmie, James Yu Stage & Screen Editor Enid Spitz Projects Editor Matthew Korfhage Music Editor Matthew Singer Books James Helmsworth

Visual Arts Jennifer Rabin Editorial Interns Grace Culhane, Russell Hausfeld, Jenna Mulligan, Ben Stone CONTRIBUTORS Mike Acker, Dave Cantor, Nathan Carson, Peter D’Auria, Alex Falcone, Shannon Gormley, Jordan Green, Jay Horton, AP Kryza, John Locanthi, Mark Stock PRODUCTION Production Manager Dylan Serkin Art Director Julie Showers Special Sections Art Director Alyssa Walker Graphic Designers Rick Vodicka, Xel Moore Production Interns Henry Cromett, Clifford King

Our mission: Provide Portlanders with an independent and irreverent understanding of how their worlds work so they can make a difference.

Willamette Week is published weekly by

Though Willamette Week is free, please take just one copy. Anyone removing papers in bulk from our distribution points will be prosecuted, as they say, to the full extent of the law.

Main line phone: (503) 243-2122 fax: (503) 243-1115

City of Roses Media Company 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210.

Classifieds phone: (503) 223-1500 fax: (503) 223-0388

ADVERTISING Director of Advertising Iris Meyers Display Account Executives Michael Donhowe, Kevin Friedman, Bruce Greif, Rich Hunter, Sarah Mason, Kyle Owens, Matt Plambeck, Sharri Regan Classifieds Account Executive Matt Plambeck Advertising Coordinator Alie Kilts COMMUNITY OUTREACH Marketing & Events Manager Steph Barnhart Give!Guide Director Nick Johnson

DISTRIBUTION Circulation Director Mark Kirchmeier WWEEK.COM Web Production Brian Panganiban OPERATIONS Accounting Manager Chris Petryszak Credit Manager Shawn Wolf AR/Credit Assistant Kristina Woodard Accounting Assistant Kelsey Young Associate Publisher Jane Smith

MUSICFESTNW Operations Director Matt Manza General Manager Jane Smith Willamette Week welcomes freelance submissions. Send material to either News Editor or Arts Editor. Manuscripts will be returned if you include a self-addressed, stamped envelope. To be considered for calendar listings, notice of events must be received in writing by noon Wednesday, two weeks before publication. Send to Calendar Editor. Photographs should be clearly labeled and will be returned if accompanied by a self-addressed, stamped envelope. Questions concerning circulation or subscription inquiries should be directed to Mark Kirchmeier at Willamette Week. Postmaster: Send all address changes to Willamette Week, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Subscription rates: One year $100, six months $50. Back issues $5 for walk-ins, $8 for mailed requests when available.

Willamette Week is mailed at third-class rates. Association of Alternative Newsmedia. This newspaper is published on recycled newsprint using soy-based ink.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

NO-CAUSE TENANT EVICTIONS

POLICE CHIEF’S SHOOTING CASE

You have to read through a lot of this article to The fact that we’re still debating what, if any, get to the truth about Shanaquewa Finney’s evic- action Larry O’Dea should face (though Mayor tion [“Kicked Out of Town,” WW, May 25, 2016]. Charlie Hales did finally put him on paid leave) The house has mold problems that she herself for drinking, shooting his friend, and then lying reported and wanted fixed. both to Hales (at first) and investigators about Well, guess what? You don’t come in and what happened just boggles the mind [“Hunting spray Mr. Clean to remediate mold. Areas with for Cover,” WW, May 25, 2016]. mold will have to be stripped down to the studs The amount of power the city has abdicated and treated. You cannot live in the house during to the Portland Police Bureau is mind-blowing. remediation. —“sparrow/sharrow” Now it would be nice if the landlord and tenant worked out the issue Taking potshots at ground squirrels so she could move back in afterward. and prairie dogs, or any species, is not I would also like to see some repay“hunting,” it’s wildlife serial killing. ment of rent for ignoring the mold That should be as big a story as the Kicked Out of Town issue in the first place. But that’s in a human victim (who lived). perfect world. —Mick Fidel —“Velma” The police chief shot his hunting buddy. P. 9

Everything you need to know about Juggalos.

WILLAMETTE WEEK

“WOULD YOU RATHER STAY HOME READING PROUST?”

P. 24

Better understand species dysphoria. P. 19

P. 38

WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE EVICTED, AND NOT KNOW WHY.

WWEEK.COM

VOL 42/30 5.25.2016

RECREATIONAL POT IN

This is an almost impossible probOREGON lem, because you cannot write a “It really boils The over-regulation of marilaw that protects good tenants from down to juana is giving a huge advantage no-cause evictions but also allows mutual respect to big, out-of-state investors at the landlords to deal with problem ten- and accepting expense of small, local businesses ants who impact the property and family farms [“Green Foreresponsibility” and everyone living around them. cast,” WW, May 25, 2016]. “ Fo r c a u s e ” e v i c t i o n s a r e Oregon could be missing an extremely expensive and time-consuming, and opportunity to make sure that the emerging and then you run the risk of the problem tenant booming cannabis industry spreads the wealth trashing the place while the case is resolved. fairly. Over-regulation strongly favors indoor If the damages are beyond what the security production over sun-grown outdoor production, deposit covers, good luck collecting once they and this will be a disaster for the environment. —“rancher” are out. More housing is needed, and ideally housing IN THE LAND OF FURRIES to provide for low-income folks. Some people have too much time on their hands —“FlavioSuave” [“Species Dysphoria Blues,” WW, May 25, 2016]. The whole dynamic of renting is complicated. It Or lobster claws, or whatever. really boils down to mutual respect and accepting —Mary Listonn responsibility by both the landlord and tenant. Those two things seem to be sorely lacking in LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author’s street address and phone number for veriﬁcation. today’s climate of acceptable greed. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. —“II-jm” Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: mzusman@wweek.com.

I’ve noticed a lot of colorful high-tech tents popping up in homeless encampments lately. If the homeless are so poor, how can they aﬀord those pricey new tents? —Shelter Envy Homeowner

Please don’t take this the wrong way, Envy, but you sound like kind of a dick. From time to time, a reader will float the proposition that the homeless are holding out on us, secretly living lives of ease and luxury while the rest of us poor slobs trudge to work. It’s a seductive idea: If you can convince yourself that the homeless are hip-deep in resources, you don’t have to feel bad, or do anything to help. 4

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Unfortunately, since poor people are by definition not rich, convincing yourself that they are is hard. Thus any scrap of potential supporting evidence is precious, and when certain people see a homeless guy with a hot dog, or some gum, they inevitably cry, “See? He’s not worthy of our compassion—he has a…thing!” To be clear: Being homeless doesn’t mean you have to shamble through the streets clad in rags, entirely devoid of possessions or will. (Maybe you’re thinking of zombies.) In fact, given our housing crisis, the stereotype that only the helplessly addicted or wildly insane become homeless is less true than ever. These days, even quite capable people may find themselves homeless. If such a person manages to get a little bit of money, he’s probably got his act together enough not to blow it on drugs or give it to a family of ducks. Some form of temporary shelter is going to be a pretty high priority. (He may also be lucky enough to score one from outreach groups who pass along donated tents when they get them.) So, not only are those tents not a moral “Get Out of Jail Free” card, they’re a painful reminder that even “regular” people who know how to take care of themselves can’t find homes in Portland. Go Timbers!

QUESTIONS? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

426 SE GRAND AVE. PORTLAND, OR. 97214 NEXTADVENTURE.NET 503.233.0706

MURMURS

Items Under $20

BUY OF tHe WeeK

$7999

sAVe 52%

COMPARE AT $165.00

sAVe 36%

sAVe 33%

COMPARE AT $14.99

$450

$1799

LIST PRICE $7.00

Women’s Sherpa Reema Shirt

sAVe 40%

LIST PRICE $9.00

WOMEN’S SHERPA VAJRA JACKET

SYNTHETIC, LIGHTWEIGHT PUFFY JACKET. PERFECT FOR LAYERING ALL YEAR ROUND!

$89

sAVe 35%

COMPARE AT $150.00

Smith?

$129

$6499

COMPARE AT $199.00

COMPARE AT $119.00

sAVe 45%

Men’s Marmot Zeus Vest

Great layering piece for biking, hiking, or a nice stroll in the park!

Lycan Brush

Only nly the finest boar’s hair.

$6999

$4499

$1999

sAVe 22%

sAVe 49%

sAVe 50%

COMPARE AT $89.99

COMPARE AT $89.00

Youth Red Ledge Thunderlight Jackets Waterproof rain jacket for youth! Great for an outdoor adventure!

Who doesn’t love a pair of cord pants?!

jacket perfect for biking and hiking!

$69

$79

sAVe 50%

$44

LIST PRICE $89.99

Super cute full zip jacket. Perfect for around town, yoga, gym, you name it!

Tough, waterproof, breathable softshell.

$1499

sAVe 63%

$1299

sAVe 61%

COMPARE AT $40.00

Boy’s Twill Boardshort

COMPARE AT $33.00

Chase Nocturnal Runner Hat

Assorted styles of boys boardshorts!

Multiple colors for this awesome runners cap!

$69

$5999

sAVe 42%

Nish

Women’s Prana Reeve Jacket

Women’s Mammut Keiko LT Jacket

COMPARE AT $40.00

Men’s Kravitz Cordz

Men’s Sierra Designs Hurricane Jacket Waterproof breathable rain

LIST PRICE $119.99

COMPARE AT $99.99

sAVe 40% Timbuk2 Core Frame Bag

Timbuk2 Sonoma Seat Pack

Time to go bike packing!

Fits a sleeping bag and more! Who needs racks?!

$2499

LIST PRICE $49.99

LIST PRICE $39.99

sAVe 50%

Timbuk2 Small Classic Messenger—Smoke Timbuk2 Alchemist Messenger Zoom through town in style!

sAVe 50%

Mortar and pestle not included...

$799

LIST PRICE $15.95

Wilderness Technology 25L PVC Dry Daypack

Waterproof and ready for a rainy ride.

$1199

sAVe 45%

$1999

LIST PRICE $21.95

LIST PRICE $50.00

sAVe 38%

sAVe 60%

On Guard Pitbull Mini U-Lock

Save your bike from getting jacked and your wallet from getting empty!

$4499

sAVe 25%

LIST PRICE $60.00

Kryptonite S2 Mini-7 U-Lock Keep it locked down.

sAVe 25%

Park Tools IB-1C Mini Hex Set

$2999

LIST PRICE $40.00

Gotta keep the bolts tight!

sAVe 41%

$7999

LIST PRICE $135.00

Planet Bike Spok Light Set Small and Rad!

PDW Aether Demon Tail Light

$7499

sAVe 42%

USB Rechargeable! Be seen!

$33900

LIST PRICE $130.00

sAVe 31% Black Diamond Couloir Harness

Alpine season is here! Gear up and be safe!

$74995

LIST PRICE $899.95

Adidas Women’s Terrex Fast X

CAMP Ball Nuts

Non-Gore Tex, breathable, perfect for summertime adventures.

All sizes available.

sAVe 70%

$599

$4900

COMPARE AT $19.99

LIST PRICE $109.95

sAVe $150 Our most popular recreational kayak.

sAVe $350

$1,04900

LIST PRICE $1,399.00

Boardworks Sirena 12’6” 2015 model.

Very supportive in tough terrain, breathable and durable.

COMPARE AT $8.99

Wilderness Technology Self Inflating Seat Pad

Great for game night on bleachers or in your kayak.

sAVe $300

$86900

LIST PRICE $1,169.00

Necky Manitou 2

Blemish models in Red.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

sAVe 92%

COMPARE AT $119.99

Voz Evolution Helmet

A great intro helmet at a great price. Also great for rafting. Small size only.

Stohlquist Misty PFD

Dragon River 1.5L Dry bag

Small only.

sAVe 50%

Drydoc Wallet

TNUOCSID RETFA SECIRP*

Multiple colors available, lifetime warranty.

$250

LIST PRICE $5.00

Keep your ID, cash and other items dry.

50% OFF FLASH SALE FOR 99 SUMMER ADVENTURES

$11

GET A JUMP ON PLANNING YOUR SUMMER PADDLING WITH OUR ROSS ISLAND AND QUICK START STAND UP PADDLE BOARDING CLASSES. USE COUPON CODE “SUMMERFUN” DURING CHECKOUT TO RECEIVE THE DEAL. LIMITED QUANTITIES AT THIS Bomber Gear Solar 50 Rash Guard Choose from short or long sleeve. PRICE AND SALE ENDS JUNE 8TH! TOURS AND CLASSES AVAILABLE *PRICES AFTER DISCOUNT THURSDAY–SUNDAY COMPARE AT $49.99

sAVe 76%

$25 FOR A 2HR SUP CLASS; $22.50 FOR A 2.5 HOUR KAYAK TOUR* 6

Includes kayak and Slingshot paddle. Red/White/Blue color only

$399

sAVe 56%

COMPARE AT $489.95

Perception Conduit 9.5 Kayak Package

Salomon Mens XA Pro

sAVe 55%

Pungo 120

sale through a broker. The buyer flipped the house for a $330,000 profit to Everett Custom Homes, which plans to demolish it and develop the 12,500-squarefoot lot. But fans of the house, designed by noted Portland architect Charles Ertz, are trying to block the demolition and find a way to purchase it from Everett.

Trango Squid

Wicking short sleeve tee

Straight Gate Non Locking

sAVe 33%

LIST PRICE $30.00

sAVe 49%

Wilderness Technology Chalk Bag Mad Rock Oval Tech Easy open and close chalk bag.

$1899

sAVe 37%

COMPARE AT $35.00

Finalist for PCC President Brings Controversy

Portland Community College’s board of directors has announced a finalist for president whose current campus is battling a “racial crisis.” Melinda Nish, one of three finalists to replace fired Jeremy Brown, sparked controversy at Southwestern College in Chula Vista, Calif., in February when she repeated a subordinate’s concern that a new equity committee had too many African-American members. Nish tells WW she brought up the topic because she wanted to address it, not because she agreed with the sentiment. Southwestern’s student newspaper, The Sun, has chronicled the two-year college’s racial tension, which reportedly had been simmering for decades before Nish’s arrival as president in 2012. Michael Sonnleitner, a PCC board member, says the Portland college is aware of the controversy. The board expects to make a decision in late June. “This college has had some deep-seated issues for a long time,” Nish says of Southwestern,” and we’re finally bringing them out in the open.”

Neighbors Work to Save Give Us This Day Home

Neighbors and architecture buﬀs have mounted a rescue eﬀort for the 5,500-square-foot house at 5128 NE Rodney Ave. that formerly operated as a group home by troubled foster care provider Give Us This Day (“Home Sweet Hustle, WW, Sept. 16, 2015). As WW previously reported, a state-hired liquidator— Troubled Asset Solutions— unaccountably sold the house for $570,000 in April without ever listing it for

Staton Finished, O’Dea on Leave

Two law enforcement stories first reported by WW have taken new turns. On May 27, Multnomah County Sheriff Dan Staton abruptly ended his 27-year career with his agency, announcing his resignation effective Aug. 16, 28 months before the end of his second term. Staton’s announcement came after two public employee unions called for his resignation and after he was forced to give back a fully loaded car he’d bought for personal use in violation of county policy. “I can no longer subject any of you to the challenges that I am facing,” Staton wrote in an email to employees. Staton’s counterpart at the CITY OF PORTLAND

have a bike? like camping? try bike camping anD get your gear here!

PCC.EDU

Deals gooD through 6/6

O’Dea

Portland Police Bureau, Chief Larry O’Dea, was belatedly placed on paid administrative leave more than a month after an April 21 incident in which he accidentally shot a friend in the back while hunting. After Harney County Sheriﬀ Dave Ward released a report showing that O’Dea had been drinking before the shooting and had told a deputy a diﬀerent story than he subsequently told Portland Mayor Charlie Hales, O’Dea’s position atop the state’s largest law enforcement agency looked increasingly tenuous.

NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

QUOTED

—Sen. Jeff Merkley (D-Ore.), talking about why he wants the U.S. Senate to pass the Houseapproved Frank R. Lautenberg Chemical Safety for the 21st Century Act, a bill to overhaul the federal government’s poor regulation of synthetic chemicals, such as flame retardants in couches. BETH SLOVIC.

ELISE ENGLERT

“CURRENT LAW HAS BEEN COMPLETELY, 100 PERCENT DYSFUNCTIONAL FOR DECADES, LEADING TO THE EXPOSURE OF OUR CHILDREN, OUR BABIES, OURSELVES, AND EVERYONE IN AMERICA TO A HUGE LIST OF TOXIC CHEMICALS.”

Westside Story

VOTERS WEST OF THE WILLAMETTE ARE WARIER OF SCHOOL BONDS THAN EASTSIDERS. BY BETH SLOVIC

bslovic@wweek.com

Last year, Portland Public Schools analyzed four recent elections in which the district had asked voters for money. PPS then created a map that showed the voting results by precinct. The map revealed a noticeable divide. Support for school money measures (including 2012’s $482 million construction bond) was softer on Portland’s more-affluent westside. The district has contemplated asking voters for as much as $638 million in bonds in November 2016 to rebuild schools. A poll commissioned by PPS, however, showed voters wouldn’t support a mea-

sure that authorized more than $556.5 million, about the same amount they rejected in 2011. Meanwhile, PPS also began redrawing school boundaries— an endeavor that angered some families whose kids must shift to new schools. The district launched the process citywide in 2015. Then, in January 2016, Superintendent Carole Smith abruptly changed course, saying she would implement the controversial changes first on the westside, where, perhaps coincidentally, support for a bond measure is weakest. District spokeswoman Christine Miles says Smith’s decision had nothing to do with politics—only policy.

THE BIG NUMBER

8.9%

The pay increase that Multnomah County Sheriff Dan Staton, who announced his resignation last week, will get if the county board approves pay increases proposed April 14 by the county’s salary commission. The commission, made up of five human-resources experts who don’t work for the county, recommended raising Staton’s salary from $154,381 to $168,093 a year as of July 1. Staton’s resignation is not effective until Aug. 16, 28 months before he was due to finish his term, so he’ll get the pay raise for a month and a half, but not much of a boost his retirement benefit.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

amy churchwell

NEWS

THE PER ORDER OF ND CITY OF PORTLA

Against the Grain DESPITE A HOUSING SHORTAGE, CITY OFFICIALS CONSIDER REDUCING RESIDENTIAL DEVELOPMENT OPTIONS ON THE EASTSIDE. By r ac h e l m o n a h a n

rmonahan@wweek.com

Jim Wallace is confused. All he hears about is Portland’s biggest issue: the city’s housing shortage. Yet city officials are now considering a plan that would strip Wallace of his current ability to develop multifamily housing on his East Portland property. “You can’t tell me you want more housing and rezone the property,” says Wallace, a property investor. “What’s the sense of this?” For decades, Portland has pursued a strategy of combining public transit with dense, urban development in the center of the city and along major streets. But now, just as the housing crunch is reaching crisis proportions, city officials are considering a zoning change that would mandate less density in one of the most affordable parts of the city. Wallace had hoped someday to develop the singlefamily house he owns at 10703 E Burnside St. into apartments—or sell it to a developer. But now the city is considering “downzoning ”—or reducing the allowable density of—a 240-acre patch of outer Southeast and Northeast Portland, mostly in the Powellhurst-Gilbert and Centennial neighborhoods. Thirty acres of the proposed downzoning, including Wallace’s house, are clustered around the major thoroughfares of Southeast Powell Boulevard, Southeast Division Street and Northeast Glisan Street. The reason Wallace’s house is being downzoned: The David Douglas School District, in which the property is located, has too many students. “David Douglas schools are overcrowded,” says Eden Dabbs, spokeswoman for Portland Bureau of Planning and Sustainability. “While we’re helping them catch up,

we’re going to concentrate growth in neighborhoods that already have amenities.” City planners have been working away on how to squeeze more people into Portland, but they also want to reduce the development allowed on a small fraction— some 2 percent—of the city’s nearly 93,000 acres in favor of building in the core of the city. The city is looking to increase density in the inner city—including in Richmond—and also along corridors such as Southeast Hawthorne Boulevard and Division and Belmont streets. So, in effect, the city will increase density—what some people call “upzoning”—in some areas while downzoning in others. Wallace finds that difficult to swallow, because his property is right next to a large apartment complex and just three blocks from the MAX stop at Southeast 103rd Avenue and Burnside. So-called transit-oriented development that allows people easy access to public transportation has been central to Portland’s planning for decades. Wallace acknowledges he’s sore in part because the proposed downzoning would reduce the value of his property. But there’s an open question about whether it’s necessary to sacrifice housing to limit overcrowding in nearby schools. It’s true David Douglas schools are crowded. From 1996 to 2014, enrollment spiked from 7,260 to 10,823, an increase of 49 percent. Portland Public Schools enrollment shrunk about 15 percent over the same period as families shifted east to take advantage of cheaper real estate. But the number of students in David Douglas fell slightly this year—by just over 1 percent—as it did in five of the six east Multnomah County school districts.

“Is that a start of a trend or a blip? We’re at a moment when we’re not sure,” says David Douglas spokesman Dan McCue. “Nevertheless, our elementary schools are at capacity, and our projections suggest it’s just a blip.” David Douglas needs both for more affordable housing and less crowded classrooms. “We’re at a catch-22 right at the moment,” says David Douglas School Board member Frieda Christopher, who, along with district Superintendent Don Grotting, lobbied city officials to reduce development of new housing in her area. Schools are currently so crowded the district reports 70 students in middle school gym classes, four to six lunch periods in elementary schools, and projections that two elementary schools will hit 800 students—200 more than the buildings can handle—by 2035. While still cheaper than other parts of the city, rents are climbing in East Portland—in outer Southeast, according to Multifamily Northwest, the rent charged per square foot rose nearly 7 percent in just the six months between September and March. The city’s leading demographer says population around David Douglas will grow no matter what. “If David Douglas has a lull in enrollment growth, they still won’t have a lot of breathing room,” says Charles Rynerson, of the Population Research Center at Portland State University, who still projects that an uptick in building will fuel growth now that the recession is over. Gentrification of the central city has pushed Portlanders east to David Douglas, and it might seem logical just to build new schools to accommodate the growth. Easier said than done. In David Douglas, where 76 percent of students are poor enough to qualify for free or reduced lunch, bonds are more expensive for homeowners to finance because there are fewer commercial properties in the district and lower home values. “There’s a limit to what voters can pay,” says Courtney Wilton, a former director of administrative services at David Douglas. “There’s no magic pot of money for school districts looking to build schools.” In August, the Portland Planning Commission will vote on the plan to downzone the 30 acres that include Wallace’s property before it goes to the City Council for final approval. Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

NEWS

PORTLAND PUBLIC SCHOOLS DID NOT DISCLOSE EXTENSIVE LEAD TESTING FROM 2010 TO 2012. BY R ACHEL MON A HA N rmonahan@wweek.com

Movies P.46 10

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Portland Public Schools officials failed to disclose test results that showed unsafe amounts of lead in the water at dozens of district school buildings from 2010 to 2012. Last week, Portlanders learned that the district found elevated levels of lead at two schools in March, but failed to disclose this information for nearly two months. In the past few days, WW has learned and confirmed that PPS did extensive tests districtwide from 2010 to 2012 at 90 buildings, finding elevated levels of lead in the water at 47 of them, including Jefferson and Cleveland high schools and Ainsworth Elementary School. In some cases, the levels were higher than those found at Creston and Rose City Park, the elementary schools that were named last week. This highly charged finding comes from a printout WW received from a district database of all water testing from 2001 through February 2015. The printout shows that 47 structures— schools, office buildings and others—tested for levels of lead that are above the federal standard of 15 parts per billion. As extraordinary as these findings are, WW could not find anyone at PPS who knew the testing took place, or the results, prior to learning of them from WW on Friday, May 27. Nor is it clear what, if anything, was done in response to the test results. Superintendent Carole Smith, who has led the school district since 2007; PPS chief operating officer Tony Magliano; and five members of the School Board all told WW that the 2010-2012 tests were news to them. Andy Fridley, the district’s environmental director, declined to answer questions. On Friday, May 27, WW emailed the test results to district officials at 3:47 pm. Officials did not respond until Tuesday morning. But that evening, four hours after they received the test results, the district abruptly announced it was shutting off drinking water at all PPS schools for the rest of the school year and providing bottled water instead. At the time, local media assumed it was just a precautionary measure stemming from the findings at Creston and Rose City Park, not because of test results showing problems in other schools. The district denies there was a connection. “No, it was a precautionary move,” says district spokeswoman Christine Miles. Smith, reached by phone early Tuesday, said

JODIE BEECHEM

Failing the Test

she knew nothing about any lead test results from 2010 to 2012, even though she was superintendent at the time. “Was I aware of it? No,” Smith says. Now, Smith wants “a third-party investigation” that she says she hopes will identify “lapses in judgment, protocol and communication.” Gwen Sullivan, president of the Portland Association of Teachers, says teachers were never told of the results from 2010 to 2012. “It’s shocking, and it’s scary not only as a parent but because of all the teachers in the buildings all the time,” she tells WW. School Board member Mike Rosen, who, as former manager for the Portland Bureau of Environmental Services, is familiar with water testing, reviewed the documents provided to WW. “It appears based on a preliminary review of a portion of data from as recently as five years ago, there may have been reason for the district to suspect that further investigation of lead in drinking water was needed,” Rosen says. “The need for an objective, thorough, and speedy investigation is, as the superintendent has said, urgent and a high priority.” School Board Chairman Tom Koehler, who also said the results were news to him, is also calling for a “thorough examination by an outside entity” of how PPS handles lead testing. “We don’t know the answers to those questions, and we want to know them as soon as we can,” he says. “That’s unacceptable, and we need to get to the bottom of this.” The Oregonian first reported last week that tests in March at Creston and Rose City Park schools found levels of lead above the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency’s “action level” of 15 parts per billion. PPS belatedly turned off the water and began preparations to replace fixtures and retest them. On Friday, May 27, Smith acknowledged she had failed to communicate this information for two months. Now, Smith must face the charge that the district learned of problems at many, many more schools at least four years ago—even though officials are claiming in essence that while the testing was done, no one knew it. District COO Magliano says he is now reviewing the data WW provided him. “I don’t have a specific answer at this time,” Magliano says. The newly uncovered results show elevated lead levels at a number of buildings, including Kelly Elementary. On Jan. 16, 2012, a bubbler in the music room in a portable showed a level of 174 parts per billion. At George Middle School, Room 303 showed a reading of 100 ppb on March 31, 2012. Not of all the buildings with high levels of lead serve children. At one administrative building, called in documents “the Rice site,” the lead level hit 1,700 parts per billion. In Flint, Mich., by comparison, 10 percent of the households had water at or above 27 ppb.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

JAMES MACKENZIE

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

BY JAK E WASSON

503-243-2122

One day last spring, as dawn approached, I was belly down on the cold floor of a cavernous grocery store near the river in Southeast Portland, eyeing the baseboards of a freezer aisle. We had already used every snap trap and glue board we brought with us, slathered them with peanut butter and chunks of chocolate bars, then slid them at the rat living below. “You see him now?” my fellow rat catcher called from the other side. I locked eyes with the beast. “He’s a big fucker,” I said. “I’m going to push him onto one of the glue boards with this broom,” my colleague said. I heard a laugh followed by the clanking sound of broom on pipe. The rat ignored our best shot and waddled back into the darkness. We’d unleashed our pest-control magic, but that rat wasn’t going anywhere. It had water from the freezer, food from busted bags of pet chow, and a sub-floor hidey-hole beneath shoppers’ feet. Off the clock, I’m 37 years old, happily married, with unsold copies of my novel collecting dust on my bookshelf. On the clock, I’m someone else. I call myself simply “rat catcher”—even though I’m often summoned to rid people’s homes of every other pest you can imagine. For bug killers like me, this time of year is the big cash harvest. Sugar ants and house ants hit in early March. Carpenter ants began their epic forages through our yards in mid-April. And right now, wasps are steadily ramping up for deck-party season under our eves. The list these days is long. Even housebound bugs know it’s springtime in Portland. Last month, I went to work for my fourth Portland pest control company. My friends and family think I’m nuts. They tell me there are healthier and more profitable ways to make a buck than spelunking for bedbugs in people’s beds and sofas with headlamp on and flashlight in hand. I agree. What I do for a living is crazy, but I refill my pesticide tanks and hit the streets of Portland in search of the wilderness anyway.

AN EXTERMINATOR’S EXPERIENCES AT THE INTERSECTION OF WILDERNESS AND CIVILIZATION.

CONT. on page 14

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

TO GIVE THEM A QUICK DEATH, I’D PIN THEM TO MY WOOD-SPLITTING LOG WITH ONE HAND AND LOP OFF THEIR HEADS WITH A HATCHET. If people ask why I do it, I tell them I’m hooked on the magic line that divides wilderness from civil society. I can’t explore that line in a national park. The tourists never get close enough to the bears, elk or marmots for any kind of magic to happen. I play a part in protecting the social fabric of civilization. We call it “home,” and those we trust to hold that line are the rat catchers. People are terrified of the creatures I kill, especially bedbugs. Without their fear, I have no job—and that job’s a lot easier if I pull back your refrigerator and find a wall of roaches waiting for me. Fear buys me hamburgers and pays my rent. It feels good to save a customer’s baby from ants or nuke their backyard full of spiders until it glows green, because I’m drawing the magic line around their homes, even if I don’t always feel like I’m on the right side of it. The wilderness feeds on conflict—and so do I.

JAMES MACKENZIE

I didn’t set out to be a rat catcher. I grew up in Portland, went to Oregon State, served in the Marines and traveled the world. But I always came back to the Pacific Northwest. My real introduction to vermin came when I worked for a crystal miner deep in the Northern Cascades five years ago. Living in a corrugated metal cabin, I read and wrote at night by candlelight. My plumbing was a gravityfed waterline comprising plastic jugs, garden hose and duct tape. Sounds idyllic, right, like a Sierra Club calendar? Those calendar photos never show what’s hiding in the cracks. What was hiding was mostly mice. Every night I’d wake to the sound of mice running over my nylon sleeping bag. That was maddening, but it was the incessant sound of gnawing that finally broke me. I just couldn’t sleep. At first, I made my own traps with used plastic containers and peanut butter by sticking the bait just far enough

out of the mice’s reach that they’d lose their footing and fall. My bio-friendly traps caught mice, but catching them didn’t solve the problem. They were still there in my pet cages demanding my attention. Night after night, I’d hear my captives struggling to escape when I went to bed. To give them a quick death, I’d pin them to my woodsplitting log with one hand and lop off their heads with a hatchet. Even after six years in the Marine Corps Reserve, I didn’t really want to kill anything. But I realized that holding mice captive was crueler than ending their lives. The mice didn’t want to be my pets, or be ripped from their homes and families again and again. They wanted my bag of pickle-flavored Kettle chips, and they were willing to die trying take control of it. The next step in my evolution into vermin killer took place May 2014, when my wife Emily’s new organic farming business “activated” me. I was now ready to combat anything that stood between Emily and her farm dream. Especially voles, those small, subterranean rodents that destroy plants from below. At about the same time, I went to work for a large exterminating company I’ll call Global Giant. The company flew me to St. Paul, Minn., for training. I sat in a classroom full of dudes wearing long-sleeved pinstriped shirts and blue gas-station pants. We even had a company cheer: “[Unnamed company] is where it’s at!” we sounded off in unison. “We kill roaches, mice and rats! When we come to set the date, we’ll be back to eliminate!” We were instructed not to use words like “spray” or “chemical,” and instead say “treatment” or “product.” We called it a “service vehicle” instead of a “truck.” By the end of summer, I was a licensed pest control operator in Oregon and Washington, and I was getting paid $17 an hour. I was in Seattle when I killed my first rat. After a long

night of racing from stop to stop through that city’s rainslicked streets, I was dreaming of a bag of chips and sleep. My last stop was at a 24-hour grocery chain: I replaced glue boards in fly lights, checked the interior traps, and joked with the grocers. I was outside restocking bait stations with anticoagulants when I popped open a station a few feet from the store’s automatic doors and saw a rat staring back with the calm of a zombie. I couldn’t back down. “You got this,” I thought as I put on my green dishwasher gloves and grabbed an old bait bucket and lid, and swaggered back to the rat like a rum-fueled pirate. First, I set my bucket near the station, then I popped it open, ready for the death struggle my training in St. Paul had led me to expect. Nothing. I scooped up the rat, and in the darkness of the parking lot, I swung my hammer into the bucket. The rat survived the first few blows, so I beat harder. Eventually the rat died. It was a rookie move. Now I know that those zombie eyes meant that the rat had already eaten a fatal dose of bait. Anticoagulants deliver a long, painful death—the rat bleeds internally. My hammer was a tool of mercy like the hatchet I’d used to dispatch mice in the Cascades. The silence that followed filled me with relief. Thank God that filthy vermin was dead! Finally, I could go back to my hotel, munch some Kettle chips, and sleep now that my bloodthirst had been quenched. I killed a lot of rats in my 10 months with the company, but the night route was more about roaches. Once a month, when your favorite restaurant or bar closes for the night, a bug destroyer like me will walk in with a respirator, jumpsuit, a tank full of roach killer, and a flusher. A magic wand shoots a fog of ultra low volume pyrethroid pesticide into wall voids, cracks, stoves and dishwashers where roaches live. The flushing chemical didn’t kill roaches. It herded them into the open, where I could spray the roach poison and end their lives. The fattest roaches I ever hunted in Portland sprang from the old brick Stumptown catacombs under downtown restaurants near the Willamette. And while I have killed thousands, perhaps millions of roaches, I became increasingly aware that total pest control is like launching nuclear warheads. To kill all of them, we’d have to kill us. On April 5, 2015, I left the fatter paychecks at Global Giant for a mom-and-pop pest control operation—bug killing with more heart, I hoped. The new operation was set in a battered house in Parkrose with a view of I-205. A cellphone tower soared from the side yard, and pesticide wagons crowded the backyard. It was great. The operators I worked with were battle-hardened and tough, especially the company vice president, who wasn’t afraid to tell you that her balls were bigger than most. And I’d agree. In this business, it takes steel to look your customers in the eye and tell the truth. “That’s right,” she encouraged us to tell tenants and managers. “We think it’s best if you sleep in your bed after the treatment. The bedbugs won’t come out of their hidey-holes and cross our chemicals without proper bait.” Other companies shy away from the creepy fact that bedbugs can hole up for up to nine months without feeding if they don’t have a host around to draw them out. In other words, there is no quick kill for bedbugs. Even after CONT. on page 16

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

JAMES MACKENZIE

CHRISTINE DONG

TOOLS OF THE TRADE: Jake Wasson uses rodenticide, metal bait stations and sometimes his pet, Tip, the Evergreen Jungle Cat, to eliminate pests. “Tip’s the best,” Wasson says.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

JAMES MACKENZIE

Multnomah County, which is responsible for public health, has a different view of pests than exterminators. The county regards them as vectors, or organisms that transmit disease. The county’s six-person vector control team mainly monitors county mosquito populations and helps residents address rodent problems. “Is it hazardous?” says Chris Wirth, manager of Multnomah County Vector Control & Code Enforcement. “Well, they’re working out in the field, they’re in swamps, there’s beavers. I don’t know—it’s all relative.” Wirth says there are no environmental or weather conditions to indicate this season will yield more or fewer vectors than normal. Local residents will encounter cockroaches, which mainly pose a threat when they shed their asthma-triggering exoskeletons, and ticks, which can spread Lyme disease and a malady called “relapsing fever” to their victims. Rats and mice can carry hantavirus, which can cause a deadly disease that one can contract by inhaling dust contaminated with the feces or urine of an infected rodent. To reduce your risk of infection from hantavirus, Wirth cautions against entering or cleaning longvacant buildings such as garages, hunting shacks and storage sheds without a dust mask. He also recommends trying to get rid of rodents by limiting their shelter, food and water sources before resorting to traps or poison. Wirth says county officials will intensify their monitoring of mosquito populations this year because of the Zika virus, an infectious agent causing birth defects in Brazil and other countries. Zika-carrying species such Asian tiger mosquitoes and yellow fever mosquitoes have been detected in California, so vector control employees will be watching closely to see whether the pests can travel here and survive in Oregon’s cooler climate. “It’s important to monitor for northerly progression,” Wirth says. “With world trade, there’s always the risk of introducing a new species into an area.” BEN STONE.

Early this spring, after 10 months or so of applying pesticides for slum lords, I jumped ship for another company I’ll call the Green Piper. The influence of my wife’s pesticide-free farm business was present when I read the first lines on Green Piper’s website: “Guaranteed and green. Protect your home, business and the environment with [Green Piper] ecofriendly pest control.” It seemed like a better option at the time. The office made me feel like I’d landed in Silicon Valley. There was an employee lounge with a massive sectional facing a large-screen TV and pingpong table. The new boss was young, fit and eager to get me rolling. I was excited about learning something new from a team of hippie pest control operators who talked about bugs all day, believed in the natural magic of permaculture, and only used the same kind of biofriendly pesticides that organic farmers like my wife did. Wrong. When I read the product labels in Green Piper’s warehouse arsenal, I discovered that the only unfamiliar “bio-friendly product” used the same active ingredient that Global Giant sprayed in Portland’s large fly-infested restaurants. All the others were the classic chemicals all operators use to treat everything from fancy hotels to roach motels.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Green Piper’s so-called bio-friendly product is a sort of super Raid, a synthetic repellent that stays active in the environment a lot longer than the organically approved “contact kill” products. My service truck had images of happy babies and cute puppies on it. But I was spraying liquid Raid at homes full of real happy babies and cute puppies. That put me in a tough spot. “Should I put my dogs inside?” customers would ask. But the equation was simple. No spray, no pay. “Don’t worry,” I’d say. “Our products are safe as table salt.” I didn’t mention that table salt in high doses is poisonous. At Green Piper, we turned average homeowners into pestcontrol-seeking fiends. The Piper wanted its customers to call every time a few ants or spiders crawled from the cracks of their tubs; each call-back visit was an opportunity to supply them with their fix of pest control for the day. The idea was to create a dependency—not control pests—and we did whatever it took to make that happen. Earlier this spring, I was standing beside my green happy-baby truck on a cul-de-sac at the top of Mount Scott. It was quiet enough that an ant could fart on the other side of the street and I’d hear it. Clouds rolled over the cityscape below and gathered en masse around Mount Hood. The smell and feel of the rain made me think of the crystal miner’s cabin in the Northern Cascades, where my addiction to sacrificing vermin in the name of holding the magic line for our homes began. I wanted to quit. Instead, I pulled my green power sprayer around the homes of Happy Valley and sprayed them in the rain. Nobody cares what I’m doing anyway, so long as they think it’s green. After a month of working for Green Piper, I was ready to dig a hidey-hole under the freezer section of my local grocery store and spend the rest of my days living off condensation and pet chow. Then the phone rang. It was another pest control company. The man’s pitch about ant behavior told me he wasn’t like the others I’d worked for. This guy knew his stuff, and he was offering me more money and freedom to explore the magic line like a pro. How could I say no? I’m still hooked on the magic line.

JAMES MACKENZIE

Public Pest Control

the treatment, you’re still the bait. Big Balls wasn’t afraid to tell people the real cost of controlling their pests. If they had to clean up their shit, trim their trees, or stop feeding pet chow to the goddamned rats, she’d tell them. Our customers were mostly low-income property management companies. I tackled more infestations in a few months at the momand-pop company than the whole time I worked for the Global Giant. Those confrontations with wild creatures turned me into a bounty hunter. I’d knock on the door of an apartment in Lents ready to free the home from the bad guys. I came to relish the challenge of battling multidimensional infestations. For example, two-dimensional infestations were mostly kitchens. The 3-D infestations were kitchens plus everywhere, and 4-D infestations were everywhere plus the building around it. I relished the challenge, but 99 percent of the time, if my colleague and I were battling anything greater than 2-D infestations, we found ourselves playing “chase the cockroach” from unit to unit for lack of a methodical plan, or the will to make that plan happen. One day, I was prepping for a bedbug job in a large apartment complex in Northeast Portland near Glendoveer Golf Course. It was a sweaty summer day, and the family sharing its unit with bedbugs did not speak English. I struggled to explain that they needed to leave so I could douse their home in a toxic spray. “You have to leave now,” I said, gesturing to them. “I need time to kill your bugs.” I shaped my hand into a gun and mimicked shooting the other as it writhed like a bedbug. Most days I felt like I was living in an infestation, too. I’ll never forget a surly but kind drunk who rented a unit off Northeast 82nd Avenue. After a few blasts of my chemical wand, his unit had hundreds or maybe thousands of dead bedbugs clumped around his baseboards. One customer, an elderly woman, greeted me at the door with her breasts hanging out of her smock and diapers poking through the hole in her baggy pants. She told me that she had her fleas under control. I went in to check and found an inch layer of pet shit, newspapers, trash, and other decomposing organics I was not able to identify spread over her carpets and kitchen floor. Over that layer, she’d taken a bag of diatomaceous earth and sprinkled it on everything like it was fairy dust. Another customer fed birdseed to his small population of cagefree pet birds, which coexisted with a large population of free-range cockroaches. I hit the roaches with my first round of bug killer and watched the kitchen explode. Everything—stove, fridge, counters, tub, door jams—everywhere crawled with life. I could hear them move. When I left, I stripped off my shirt and shoes in an attempt to rid myself of roaches. It was one of the few times I felt that “Get them off me!” fear most people feel when they encounter a bug in the comfort of their homes.

Mimi Cernyar Fox The Ever Rolling Sea

“Winter Sea in C Minor“ acrylic on canvas, 42” x 56”

Exhibition runs June 3–30, 2016 Opening reception is Friday June 3rd, 5–8pm Gallery hours are Mon–Sat 10–5 Brian Marki Fine Art, 2236 NE Broadway St • www.BrianMarkiFineArt.com

Free Admissions – 12 Studios and 31 Artists – Oregon City & Beavercreek – openstudiosofbeavercreek.com

WillameTTe Week and ClinTon sTreeT TheaTer kiCk off PorTland Pride 2016 with a night of comedy and Portland’s best local web series The BenefiTs of GusBandry (chosen by WW’s Best of Portland Reader’s Poll). Mini-Binge Season 1 with filmmaker Alicia J. Rose and the stars of the Portland comedy series that just topped Entertainment Weekly’s Must List—hosted by Belinda Carol & Lez Stand Up.

CANNABIS

RICK VODICKA

Tyler Gets Infused

YOU CAN BUY RECREATIONAL CANNABIS EDIBLES ON JUNE 2. SO I DECIDED TO TRY SUBSISTING ON NOTHING BUT FOR TWO DAYS.

BY TY L E R H UR ST

@tdhurst

Eating cannabis ain’t like toking it. Given how many people have had bad experiences with brownies of unknown potency, which sometimes even cause unnecessary emergency room visits, legal edible makers face an uphill battle in winning recreational customers. Much of the negativity stems from consumers ignoring the serving-size instructions clearly printed on the packaging. It’s obvious the public can’t be trusted to regulate itself, forcing nanny-state-like serving-size and package-potency restrictions—in Oregon, recreational products will be limited to 15 milligrams of THC. Fortunately, this has forced craft producers to up their game in creating delectable options worthy of snacking on. While 10 milligrams is enough for newbies, medical edibles are a different world, of course. Patients and longtime stoners may require hundreds of milligrams of cannabinoids per dose—meaning taste is often less of an issue than potency. Some, like me, can pound these lightweight candies like they’re, uh, candy. Luckily, both options are available to me. There are so many options, in fact, one could possibly survive on nothing but cannabis-infused food. In fact, I did. While recovering from a steroid shot to my back, I spent 48 hours eating meals and snacks infused with cannabis. In that time, I ate 430 milligrams of THC and 40 mg CBD. I felt pretty good—except for all that sugar in the desserts.

Lunch No. 1

I had my first cannabis-infused lunch at 2 pm midweek, starting with a milk chocolate Grön Bite (quarter-ounce chocolate with 15 mg THC, Rose City Oreganics, $5) made with a brandnew recipe. It tasted like creamy, salted chocolate. I washed it down with ginger beer by Magic Number (12 ounces with 10 mg THC, drinkmagicnumber.com, $6), which was less sweet than its alcoholic cousin. This was followed by a gluten-, peanut-, dairy- and meat-free bar from Soft Glow (5 ounces with 7 mg THC, Bridge City Collective, $8), washed down with a serving of Cannavis Syrup (2 teaspoons with 15 mg THC, pricing and packaging information not yet available), gently stirred into a glass of soda water. I also did six dabs, but those aren’t part of the story, so let’s move on. Then I ran for 3 miles.

Dinner No. 1

For dinner at home, I made pasta infused with cannabutter (one-fifth tablespoon with 30 mg THC, laurieandmaryjane.com, price varies) and had more Cannavis soda water (15 mg THC), plus a double dessert—a Peak Extracts chocolate truffle (8 grams with 8.8 mg THC/4.8 mg CBD, peakextracts.com, $5), and Honey Lavender by Drip Ice Cream (4 ounces with 15 mg THC, dripicecream.com, $9). My back pain had been soothed at this point, though any sort of rolling over or sitting up would send it back into spasms. My wife was worried about both my near inability to walk and my high THC intake, so she decided to stay home the next day. I fell asleep on the couch at 10 pm. Seven hours later, I woke up, rolled over, sat up, and started my day.

Breakfast No. 1

I split a packet of infused CannaCane sugar (2 grams with 10 mg THC, canna-daddys.com, $4) between two cups of coffee, slathered my breakfast scramble in more cannabutter (30 mg THC), and grabbed a natural fruit strip (3.5 grams with 5 mg THC, facebook.com/SugarandLeafUSA, $5) for dessert. Next up was a cannabutter-infused, handmade caramel by Danodan Grassworks (4.5 grams with 7.5 mg THC, danodan.com, pricing not yet available) followed by two chocolate Blaze Coins (1 gram with 20 mg THC, blazepremium.com, $5). Then I ran for 3 miles. 18

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Post-run, I munched on a Smokiez gummy (10.5 grams with 15 mg THC, smokiez.com, $6), drank Cannavis soda water (15 mg THC) and had some leftover pasta, this time with infused coconut oil (30 mg THC). A Wyld Canna white chocolate (5 grams with 15 mg THC, wyldcanna.com, $3) and my last fruit strip (5 mg THC) were next. At this point, my stomach started to hurt—from the sugar. Determined to push on, I grabbed my bottle of generic Imodium, and took double the recommended dosage.

Lunch No. 2

Emboldened, I grabbed another chewy Smokiez treat (15 mg THC) for my trek to Farma. I walked in, grabbed Toasty’s Chipotle & Cheddar medicated cheese crisps (one cracker with 3 mg THC, portlandpremium.com, $5) for my wife to try and an all-CBD Leif Medicinals chocolate truffle (30 grams with 0.75 mg THC/35 mg CBD, leifmedicinals. com, $15), and then bombed a joke about my glasses. My wife, waiting outside in the car, didn’t even chuckle at my tale—so I didn’t share my truffle with her. There was an ever-present buzz as in my head at this point. Not painful, but certainly noticeable. Figuring it was the sugar, I ate the last caramel (7.5 mg THC). I’m salivating right now thinking about it.

Dinner No. 2

Dinner was two-day-old soy ginger meatballs coated in infused coconut oil (30 mg THC), then dark chocolate by Grön (15 mg THC) followed by candied fruit chocolate by Blaze (20 mg THC). Dessert was a Jolly Greens lozenge (0.2 mg CBD with 10 mg THC, jollygreens.net, $2), accompanied by me dipping a frozen Greek yogurt bar into a crushed and salted infused chocolate Blaze Coin package (20 mg THC). I fell asleep on the couch at 10:30 pm.

Breakfast No. 2

The next morning, I woke up at 5:14 am and started a breakfast of cannabutter-infused hash browns, egg, ham and spinach (45 mg THC) at 5:35 am. I ate, ran some errands, and ran 5 miles. When I got home, I celebrated with Mystery Haze and School of Pot-grown oil. I came through this fine, but I think I’ll lay off sugar for a while.

TYLER’S PICKS Edibles

fetcheyewear.com | 877.274.0410

CannaCane

Two grams of this sugar has 10 milligrams of THC in it, meaning you’re starting your day with a half-gram joint. The $4 packet tastes like nothing but sweetness, and we’re looking forward to seeing CBD options.

Leif Medicinals all-CBD truﬄe

There’s nothing psychoactive in this, just good ol’ anxiety-reducing, pain-busting CBD, so feel free to chow down on the entire package. Its 35 mg CBD also works to reduce THC’s effects, making this $16 option a good choice to have on hand for newbies who feel a little too high.

Drip Ice Cream

These little tubs of artisan ice cream filled with 15 mg THC are what Ben and Jerry would make if they weren’t sellouts. This local, all-woman-run company even thought to include dosage recommendations on the outside of the cup, making this $10 treat an ideal date option.

Concentrates CO2 Company Vape Cartridge

No, these aren’t the cloud-producing monsters everyone hates. Filled with 100 percent cannabis oil and requiring a rechargeable battery ($15), this is what you’ll see all the cool kids discreetly sipping when they think no one is looking. Available in throwaway cartridges by the half-gram ($30) and full gram ($50). Try the CBD options first.

Transdermal Patches (Mary’s Medicinals, Oregrown.com)

Applying directly to the forehead is not necessary here. Made for chronic pain sufferers looking for accurate dosing and time-release (sorta) options, these infused stickers

are designed to keep cannabinoids flowing through you all day. Forget about licking these $20-ish happy patches, though.

Coconut Oil Capsules (House option or Dr. Guerrilla)

Available at most dispensaries in varying THC and CBD blends, infused coconut oil can be eaten or slathered where it hurts. Made from the exact stuff used to infuse many baked goods, these $3-to-$5 options are perfect for running, hiking or cycling recovery without drowsiness or unnecessary sugar. They don’t travel well, but deserve a space alongside vitamins or the medicine cabinet. Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

STREET

Southeast Belmont OUR FAVORITE LOOKS THIS WEEK. PHOTOS BY CHR ISTIN E DON G www.wweek.com/street

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

!A PLACE FOR FRIENDS AND FUN! www.shandongportland.com

Shandong

“I’m like the fly Malcolm X.” page 27

STARTERS

Shandong

BITE-SIZED PORTLAND CULTURE NEWS.

No Cover Charge

www.shandongportland.com

1.7917 in Karaoke

nightly till 2:30am

www.chopstickskaraoke.com

(503) 234-6171 3390 NE Sandy Blvd 535 NE Columbia Blvd

SAUSAGE PARTY: The first unofficial week of summer turns out to be a huge week for new food. And, no, not just recreational edibles (see page 18). Two exciting and sausagey new spots open Wednesday, June 1. Slabtown gets Please Louise, a pizzeria co-owned by Breakside Brewery owner Scott Lawrence and longtime friend Brian Carrick. The kitchen will be helmed by chef Brian Lamback, formerly of nearby Wildwood restaurant. In addition to pies cooked in a 900-degree Hobart oven, Please Louise will have an extensive house charcuterie program that includes trout rillettes, tri-tip tartare and duck liver brulee. >> On Southeast Division Street, in the former Eugenio’s space whose demise was marked with a funeral procession for Old Portland, a bike-centric bar called Gestalt has its soft opening June 1. Gestalt, which has two locations in San Francisco, will serve sausages “from vegan to veal,” sauerkraut and German liquors and beers along with local craft brews. >> There’s a post with a full roundup of the summer’s most anticipated bar and restaurant openings on wweek.com. BACK ON TRACK: Concerts will make a surprise return to Portland Meadows this summer. In the 1990s, the 70-year-old horse-racing track hosted concerts on its infield lawn, bringing in the likes of Nirvana, Metallica, the Grateful Dead and a couple Lollapaloozas. There were even a few Warped Tours there in the mid-aughts. The racetrack recently launched a rebranding campaign to attract a younger demographic, and bringing live music back would appear to be an extension of that. Although, if that’s the case, it probably could’ve picked a better kickoff show than hard-rock relics Bad Company and 38 Special, who play Aug. 31. If watching leathery, 66-yearold Paul Rodgers belt out “Feel Like Makin’ Love” doesn’t excite you, there are plenty of other outdoor music options this summer, including the Waterfront Blues Festival on July Fourth weekend, PDX Pop Now on July 22-24, Pickathon on Aug. 5-7, and MusicfestNW presents Project Pabst on Aug. 27-28. REPERTORY REPRESENTATION: Some of Portland’s top thespians are getting a big raise. Artists Repertory Theatre, Portland’s oldest, just became the first theater in seven years to be admitted to the League of Resident Theatres. In addition to requiring a minimum number of rehearsals for each show and a minimum number of shows per season, the national association requires theaters to meet minimumwage standards, which Artist Rep was below. Directors, cast members and staff are getting raises that will add up to $20,000 more per year, according to managing director Sarah Horton. “Theaters are always on the edge” Horton says. “The spending shouldn’t be a problem. If we had to pull out of the league because of that, it would mean we were going totally under.”

LIFE IS GOOD!

SALE ON ALL OUTDOOR FURNITURE

ready to finish

Open 7 days 503.284.0655 | 800 NE Broadway naturalfurniturepdx.com

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

BEST IN THE US: Newberg’s 99W Drive-In theater was named “Best Drive-In Movie Theater” in a USA Today poll. A panel of experts selected 20 nominees that faced oﬀ in a public vote. After weeks of ﬁerce competition, the Willamette Valley institution beat out Michigan’s Capri Drive-In and Harvest Moon Twin Drive-In in Gibson City, Ill.

HEADOUT

T H E R E S A O R E I L LY ; T O M O F F I N L A N D

WHAT TO DO THIS WEEK IN ARTS & CULTURE

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1 Portland Horror Film Festival

[NEW THRILLS] Catch world premieres and indie horror you can’t see outside festival circuits, like the post-apocalyptic Texas thriller Daylight’s End and shorts from Egypt, Taiwan and Iran. Happy hour with the ﬁlmmakers is 4 pm at Sam’s Billiards (1845 NE 41st Ave.) Hollywood Theatre, 4122 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-281-4215. 6:30 pm. $20 per day, $35 two-day pass.

THURSDAY, JUNE 2 Food Fight

[PONY UP] You want to be in Pony Club, believe me. Like the renegade art commune you’ll never be young and ballsy enough to run away to, this gallery puts on group shows and throws the best First Thursday parties in town. This month’s food theme has candy-colored paintings of shrooms, and the crowd could be just as trippy. Pony Club Gallery, 625 NW Everett St., facebook.com/ponyclubpdx. 6 pm. Free.

Recreational Edibles

[MUNCHIES] The walls are coming down. As of June 2, recreational users can buy “lowdose” edibles with up to 15 mg of THC. Bloom dispensary is celebrating with all-day deals, plus concentrates and edibles. Bloom, 2637 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 503-444-7538. 11 am-9 pm. 21+.

MANLY UP

SATURDAY, JUNE 4 Montavilla Food Co-op Pancake Breakfast

WELL, ACTUALLY, CALM DOWN AND LET ME WOMAN-SPLAIN SOME ART.

BY LI ZZY ACKER

lacker@wweek.com

Did you know that just under 50 percent of the U.S. population is born with male genitalia? And that a lot of those people grow up to identify as male, gender-wise? And that there are even some people born with female genitalia who grow up to identify as male!? In this lady-centric world, it’s easy to forget these simple facts. Luckily for these male people, there are places just for them—safe spaces, if you will—where they can express their masculinity without feeling like they will be judged as inferior by the female majority. One such place is the Mantastic NW Art Show, “a select group of Portlandbased male artists who celebrate the male form and body acceptance through visual art.” But what if you are male-identifying person who wants to be part of this group, but isn’t sure how to make manly art? Look, I’m not a man or a visual artist. But that doesn’t mean I can’t tell you how to express your masculinity via visual art. Sit down and let me tell you how it’s done.

GATHER YOUR SUPPLIES.

These include but are not limited to: acrylic paints, canvas, a nail gun, brushes, Budweiser (note: This summer, Budweiser will change its name to “America,” making it an even better manly art supply) and semen.

PICK A TYPE OF NAKED MAN YOU WANT TO HAVE AS THE SUBJECT OF YOUR OPUS.

He can be: a jacked man with a beard and a lot of body hair or a ripped dude with sexy stubble and a lot of body hair. He can be circumcised or uncircumcised.

Trust us on this one. This pancake fundraiser to found a food co-op in Montavilla will feature seven-grain pancakes, bacon, sausage, rhubarb compote, honey lemongrass creme fraiche and vegan/gluten-free options galore, for a mere $10 donation. Montavilla United Methodist Church, 232 SE 80th Ave., 503-254-5529. 8 am- noon. $10 suggested donation.

MONDAY, JUNE 6

PICK A MANLY SETTING.

Options include: the Wild West, outer space, a fire station, a fire station in outer space, or a logging camp.

ADD PROPS.

Here’s where your manly creativity really gets to kick in! Some ideas for things to paint in the background include: more penises (maybe paint an extra on your man or add another man with one or more penises), wolves, strippers (male, female, both, neither), cheetahs, sharks, aliens, guns, America cans, testicles, trucks, truck nuts, lions.

SELL YOUR ART.

Sure, you started this project as a joke, but guess what? Now you’re rich! Even though the numbers of men and women in visual art are pretty much the same, according to the National Museum of Women in the Arts, “only 28 percent of museum solo exhibitions spotlighted women” in a survey of eight major museums. See, little tiger? Sometimes being a man really does pay off!

GO: Mantastic NW Art Show is at Local Lounge, 3536 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd., 503-282-1833, mantasticnw.tumblr.com, on Friday, June 3. 6 pm. Free.

Kevin Morby

[OUT OF THE WOODS] Kevin Morby’s newest, Singing Saw, is a touching, detailed, thoughtful and downright transﬁxing folk eﬀort that should impress fans of Harry Nilsson, Destroyer and Gram Parsons. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave., 503-288-3895. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

TUESDAY, JUNE 7 Modern Baseball

[NEO-EMO] The Philly quartet’s just-launched third album, Holy Ghost, highlights melancholic ennui across newly expansive songcraft, lyrical urgency and anthemic bombast, with the pain indelibly inscribed on each track, reﬂecting a newly damnable adulthood. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd., 503-233-7100. 7:30 pm. $19 advance, $22 day of show. All ages.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK FACE-OFF

Highly recommended. By MATTHEW KORFHAGE. Editor: MARTIN CIZMAR. Email: dish@wweek.com. See page 3 for submission instructions.

1. O-Bros Osteria

SATURDAY, JUNE 4

Southwest 10th Avenue and Alder Street. Our new favorite spicy Italian—the Platonic version of sandwichhood. $.

Carry Nation Blind Pig Social

2. Hat Yai

Celebrate the death day (June 9) of hatchet-wielding anti-alcohol activist Carry Nation than with free liquor from 10 local distillers, including Clear Creek, Thomas & Sons tea liquor makers, most of Distillery Row, and the underrated Oregon Spirit. Circa 33, 3348 SE Belmont St., 503-477-7682. 6-9 pm. Free.

Montavilla Food Co-op Pancake Breakfast

This fundraiser to found a food co-op in Montavilla oﬀers seven-grain pancakes, bacon, sausage, egg bakes, rhubarb fruit compote, honey lemongrass creme fraiche and vegan/ gluten-free options galore, for a mere $10 donation. Montavilla United Methodist Church, 232 SE 80th Ave., 503-254-5529. 8 am-noon. $10.

Kölschfest

Want to taste actual Kölsch from Cologne? For fun, Prost will tap ﬁve of them—Früh, Zunft, Reissdorf, Sünner and Freigeist—served in the traditional tiny glasses that ensure you drink them like beer hors d’oeuvres, fast and very cold. It often tastes little like the hoppier American Kölsch—light and fruity, with rounded malt smoothness. Prost, 4237 N Mississippi Ave., 503-954-2674. All day. Free.

HENRY CROMETT

= WW Pick.

1605 NE Killingsworth St., 503-764-9701. Counter-service Thai fried chicken, sure—but look to the small plates for the fun. $.

3. Wiz Bang Bar

126 SW 2nd Ave., 503-384-2150, saltandstraw. com/wizbangbar. Mmmm, peanut butter and jelly sundae. $$.

4. Basilisk

820 NE 27th Ave., 503-234-7151, basiliskpdx.com. A towering fried-chicken sandwich with a crisp crust and drippy, juicy ﬂesh— too tall to stand on its own without a knife stabbed in it. $.

5. The Wild Hunt

3303 SE 20th Ave., 971-282-2181, thewildhuntpdx.com. Viking Soul Food cart spinoﬀ the Wild Hunt is in front of German-style wine bar Teutonic, serving lamb meatloaf with a side of lingonberries. $-$$.

LAURELHURST MARKET’S FIVE-NAPKIN CHICKEN

Yard Birds

ROOST AND LAURELHURST MARKET ARE NOW SERVING LUNCHTIME CHICKEN ON THE SIDE.

BY MATTHEW KOR FHAGE

DRANK

mkorfhage@wweek.com

Remember way back when every fine-dining spot had to have its own bistro take on the burger? We remember it like it was five months ago—because it pretty much was. But now is the dawning of the age of the chickwich. French fine-dining chefs are serving fried-chicken sammies in parking-lot pop-ups. Bunk has a killer version it’s serving for Portland Beer Week. And Roost and Laurelhurst Market—two eateries we named among the top 100 restaurants in town in our annual guide—are serving posh takes on the chicken sandwich out of their side kitchen door and side parking lot, respectively. And, thank God, both use thigh meat instead of chalky chicken breast. The five-napkin chicken at East Burnside farmto-butcher steak house Laurelhurst Market is getting the most attention so far—in part because of brute visibility. There’s a tent and table in the side lot, plus a 14-foot smoker that looks like the front of an old railroad steam engine, with clouds of poultry-flavored particles billowing into the air. The lunch menu is simple, served every day but

Underwood Sparkling Wine (UNION WINE CO.) Believe it or not, some people prefer flat wine. Personally, I like bubbles. So it’s nice to see the first canned sparkler from Oregon’s Union Wine Co. Part of a line that includes a cherry-heavy pinot noir and a sugary rosé, this new gold can contains big, hearty bubbles in a soft, sweet nectar that’s 11 percent ABV. The maker suggests it tastes like white peach, apple and lemon, but I only got one note, which I’d describe as hard cider made from Granny Smith apples. Each $7 can is the equivalent of a halfbottle of wine. It’s hyper-quaffable and perfect for Instagrammable beach fires and river trips. MARTIN CIZMAR.

Tuesday, when Laurelhurst serves fried chicken out of the butcher shop instead. You get smoked chicken, or you get a sausage of the day, with sides. But there’s nothing simple about the chicken. Head chef Ben Bettinger marinates a boneless thigh in a medium-spicy fresno pepper sauce he conceived after a farmer mistakenly gave him a fiery yellow pepper from Kosovo called a sarit gat—he’ll go back to the Serbian pepper when he gets more. He then smokes and grills it to order, basting it in a mayovinegar Alabama-style white gold sauce to balance the pepper. That saucy dark meat is delicious enough— moist to its core, penetratingly smoky, richly meaty and acid-spicy—that the $9 sandwich’s potato bun and excellent slaw end up a distraction. Spring for the $11 platter instead, which serves the saucy chicken straight along with a crisp, lightly vinegared and dill-flecked cuke salad, plus that same note-perfect slaw on the side. It’s the spirit of summer in some mythical land of Swedish-Serbian hillbillies. I expect to make a weekend tradition out of it. The side lunch at rustic-domestic Belmont eatery Roost is even more bare-bones than Laurelhurst’s. The ’wich isn’t even on the restaurant’s website or Facebook page. Though Roost started serving friedchicken sandwiches last September, we found out about it only by seeing an ad in our own newspaper. You beg like Lady and the Tramp at a kitchen-delivery side door with no sign, no menu and no markings except a little wood-cut bird. The $9 sandwich must be paid for with cash only—a stipulation waived by chef Megan Henzel when we looked sad and surprised—and eaten with store-bought chips on a couple outdoor picnic tables. You can add a drink for $2. But whatever niceties are lacking in the delivery, the sandwich is all home-style charm. Opposite in spirit to Laurelhurst’s summery smoked chicken, Roost’s is made with a pair of plump, deep-fried pieces of gluten-free thigh, topped with a steak-thick pickled turnip and drowning in a dense, creamy tahini sauce. The bun’s a burger bun, basted with aioli. It’s weirdly simple, very rich and decadent as hell—like something served on a French plantation. It’s all great except for those bagged chips; among packaged sides, a pickle is always preferred. For the duration of the summer, I expect to make regular appearances at Laurelhurst. When winter becomes serious as a heart attack, I’ll probably perch at Roost instead. EAT: Five-napkin chicken is served at Laurelhurst Market, 3155 E Burnside St., 503-206-3097, laurelhurstmarket.com. 11:30 am-3:30 pm WednesdayMonday. The sidewich is at Roost, 1403 SE Belmont St., 971-544-7136, roostpdx.com. 11:30 am-2 pm Tuesday-Sunday.

Simple ApproAch

Bold FlAvor vegan Friendly

open 11-10

everyday

Traditional taste, contemporary nourishment. The only all gluten-free, Middle Eastern lunch buffet in town. Delicious vegan and meat dishes. Signature cocktails with Middle Eastern herbal infusions. Join us! 320 SW Alder St. darsalamportland.com M-F 11:30 a.m.- 9 p.m. Sat. 12:30 p.m. - 9 p.m.

500 NW 21st Ave, (503) 208-2173 kungpowpdx.com 24

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

accepting reservations for Father’s Day brunch

HENRY CROMETT

REVIEW

F i v e to T r y

Sundaes

at Wiz Bang Bar

The best thing at Pine Street Market—and, indeed, the main reason I’d suggest you go—is Wiz Bang, the new soft-serve spot from the owners of Salt & Straw. Only suckers get the cones. The sundaes ($8.50), each made with a house-baked pastry as a base, and ingredients like fresh local strawberries and dried rhubarb, are beautifully constructed.

Philly cheese dog, or any other dog, at OP Wurst

A Dull Thud WHAT PINE STREET MARKET IS LIKE. BY M A RT I N C I Z M A R

mcizmar@wweek.com

Judging by the crowds, Pine Street Market is already a smash hit. The month-old, high-end downtown food court has been jammed since it opened, and should only get busier as summer tourists arrive. But what will it look like in October, when the novelty wears off? Hopefully, a very different place. After making a halfdozen visits to the market and sampling food from the ramen shop, pizza shop, Israeli street-food shop, cocktail bar and the rest—everywhere except the abandoned and possibly haunted Barista coffee kiosk staffed by ghostly apparitions who wander about aimlessly, fidgeting with mugs—I’m excited not to come back for a while. It might have been a good idea, but Pine Street Market is plagued by logistical issues and overly ambitious menus. Here’s what it was like for me. Hopefully, your mileage varies. It’s like something that should be in Pioneer Place... Did you know that Sara Lee now makes something called Artesano Bread? Well, it does—part of the Great Fauxartisanalification of American commerce. Pine Street Market is the Artesano Bread version of a mall food court (it’s even playing the Eagles’ “Take It Easy”), except that people are crammed onto little metal stools and standing in lines that bulge into every walkway and entrance. The line at Salt & Straw’s softserve spot, Wiz Bang Bar, has to part every time workers carry out kitchen trash. There’s no place on the block to park your bike, let alone an automobile. The whole operation would fit much better inside an actual shopping mall. It’s like using the restroom at an ill-kept gas station... Pine Street is bright, busy and not open especially late, but in an apparent effort to thwart the downtown homeless population from brushing its teeth, the market has installed key-coded locks on its restroom doors. Personally, I feel that any establishment should either sell $2.50 bacon-wrapped dates and $4 cans of San Pellegrino or have locks on its restrooms. Oh well, hop back in line to ask for the code—and hope you’re not behind WW projects editor Matthew Korfhage, who incorrectly guessed the code too many times and locked out everyone.

Olympia Provisions serves what might be the world’s best wieners, and even the zany poutine dog and Elvisinspired peanut butter, bacon and banana thing worked. If I owned Oaks Park, I’d oﬀer free space to spinoﬀs of OP Wurst and Wiz Bang.

RIDING THE PINE: Lunch hour at the Market.

It’s like a backyard cookout where the whole grill is being used to make some weird flatbread thing but you just want a burger or dog… The menus at several Pine Street spots are overstuffed. John Gorham’s Pollo Bravo focuses on roast chicken, but its massive menu has 25 other food items, everything from canned mussels ($21) to salt cod fritters ($10) to garlic soup with a sous vide egg ($7), organized in a way that makes it hard to discern how much food you’ll be getting. It’s especially unfortunate given that the chicken itself isn’t dialed: On two of three visits, the skin was oversalted to the point that it tasted like grocery-store ham. Most of the sauces failed (the hot sauce is basically red-tinted liquid smoke), and a lump of flavorless, grease-saturated ciabatta prompted dining companions to spit it out. Meanwhile, there are excellent fancy hot dogs at the Olympia Provisions kiosk (see sidebar), and a fabulous burger at Common Law (see page 39). It’s like being a server on your first shift... Every eating spot’s tablet offers you the chance to tip, and I always do. You should tip too, but do remember you’ll be the one running across the room to fetch water, forks and napkins, then more napkins, and then a knife. And when someone neglects to give you the beer you ordered and tipped for? Well, you’ll go back to the counter and wait in a long line to ask for it. Oh, and it’ll be back to the line when you’re done with your pizza—Trifecta Annex’s whole pies are dramatically better than its single slices, as Ken Forkish’s artisan crust fares poorly when reheated. “Did you buy a pizza?” asked the gentleman working the counter, eyeing us suspiciously. Why else would anyone want a pizza box? Are homeless people who are being thwarted by restroom security pooping in them? It’s like being a raccoon… I’m happy to bus my own table at a taqueria or burger joint, but I’d rather not paw through a half-gnawed chicken carcass ($23 with sauces) and cheese flan ($7, size of a cat-food container, consistency of Greek yogurt, flavor of diabetic cheesecake), trying to discern whether dairy and bones are meant for the compost bin. It’s like a picnic planned by the Reed Philosophy Club… Why do all the logistical problems persist? According to one insider I spoke with, it’s tough to change anything at Pine Street given the structure, which requires a consensus of the various busy and powerful restaurateurs who operate under the same roof.

Miso ramen at Marukin

We’ve already called the eastside location of this

Tokyo institution the best ramen spot in town. Get the miso.

Whole pies, but not

slices, at Trifecta Annex Ken Forkish won a James Beard Award for his baking book, and his Laurelhurst pizzeria is perpetually jammed. We had several very good pies.

The burger at Common Law

It’s ultra rich and pretty much perfect. See page 39.

It’s like watching a smart, shrimpy nerd trying to play linebacker… John Gorham’s two Pine Street establishments, Pollo Bravo and Shalom Y’all, earn my harshest criticism. The restaurateur behind two past WW Restaurant of the Year winners, and a third top-five finisher, seems to have taken on too much by opening several fast-casual spots at once. For starters, the service is a mess—Gorham does small plates and relies on servers to manage the flow of food to tables. The system is broken here: Dishes come at random. Early on, runners interrupted your conversation each time they came by to ask if you had everything, but lately they’ve been abandoning the marker entirely. The food and cocktails are similarly plagued. Pollo Bravo would do well to strip down its menu to chicken and potatoes, and dial them in. The small $5 Bravas platter works very well, but the oversauced “Papas Grande Fiesta” is a mess of competing flavors. The spot could also use new sauces and a tighter drink menu, maybe without vermouth, sangria, sherry and a $48 sparkler. We tried four $11 cocktails and found each of them severely flawed. Shalom Y’all—there’s nothing even vaguely Southern, so the name is bewildering—fails in ways both big and small. Skip the hummus and shakshuka, priced as they are at Gorham’s Mediterranean Exploration Company in the Pearl, but lacking the same refinement. Instead, proceed cautiously to the pita sandwiches. The fresh-baked bread rounds are perfect, and the grilled chicken shawarma ($12) was well-seasoned and perfectly cooked. But mine was also poorly constructed, with a huge pile of onions on the bottom and all the chicken on top—unacceptable at this price point. Meanwhile, the lamb pita ($12) is sopped in heavy sauce, with a few thin pickles unable to balance it. One of my companions described it as “eating a block of cream cheese.” It’s like arguing about whether Pete Carroll or Russell Wilson is to blame for that interception… To me, it’s clear that Gorham took on too much. Is that his fault, or the fault of Mike Thelin, the Feast Portland organizer who was charged with “curating” the collection of restaurants at Pine Street? Ask me again in October. EAT: Pine Street Market, 126 SW 2nd St., 503-939-9449, pinestreetpdx.com. Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC FEATURE

Editor: MATTHEW SINGER. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, go to wweek.com/submitevents and follow submission directions. All shows should be submitted two weeks or more in advance of event. Press kits, CDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: msinger@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1 The Smokers Club Tour: Cam’ron, the Underachievers, G Herbo, Smoke DZA, Nyck Caution

[SPLIFF-HOP] Hold your lighters in the air, young stoners: Killa Cam is back to remind you how great hip-hop was in 2004. It’s not like the fashion-forward Harlem rapper ever really went away, but these days it seems like he gets more pub for selling custom air fresheners and shower curtains emblazoned with his face than for recent songs like “U Wasn’t There.” Tonight, he’s headlining the latest incarnation of the Smokers Club, which started seven years ago as a SXSW showcase featuring Wiz Khalifa and a baby Kendrick Lamar, and has now evolved into an all-encompassing cannabis lifestyle brand promoting legalization. Cam’ron is an interesting ﬁt on a young and talented bill. The old heads who show up to scream “Dip-Set Forever” probably shouldn’t take a smoke break during the Underachievers set, unless they want to miss a jam titled “Young Kobe.” MICHAEL MANNHEIMER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St. 8 pm. $26.50-$135. All ages.

Trashcan Sinatras, Rob Wynia, Skip vonKuske

[GUITAR POP] Last troubling U.S. charts with 1990 debut Cake, the Trashcan Sinatras have long rewarded the devotion of faithful acolytes—playing the smallish house of a local superfan despite skipping Portland on their 2010 tour proper—while continually rejecting the Kickstarter model over fears of compromising their gentle, literate, hypermelodic vision to please anticipatory audiences. Strange, then, that recently released and newly crowdfunded sixth album Wild Pendulum should end up their most ambitious. With Bright Eyes producer Mike Mogis at the helm, the Scottish troupe sacriﬁces much of its trademark guitar jangle for experimentalist ﬂourishes, orchestral arrangements and pure pop bravado. Though the songwriting’s still recognizably Trashcans, this isn’t living-room music. JAY HORTON. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St. 9 pm. $18-$50. 21+.

Grammies, Johanna Warren, Like a Villain

[FAREWELL TO FUNK] A year after the release of its aptly named album Great Sounding, Grammies is calling it quits. Drummer Dan Sutherland and saxophonist Noah Bernstein (who also plays in TuneYards) made their mark on the Portland scene with infectious, looping, syncopated beats and ultrasmooth sax. The duo’s two albums earned them much attention, including a spot on WW’s Best New Band poll in 2014. Its breakup is, of course, unfortunate news, but you can either be sad about it, or come swim through the band’s funky euphoria for one last night. I strongly suggest the latter. SHANNON GORMLEY. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St. 8:30 pm. $8. 21+.

La Luz, Sick Sad World

[SURF PUNK] If the Shirelles were reanimated in a zombie movie soundtracked by Dick Dale, Seattle surf rockers La Luz would be ﬁrst in line for tickets. Ty Segall produced last year’s Weirdo Shrine, a dark and rewarding eﬀort that combines girl-group vocals with reverb-heavy, Ventures-style instrumentation. The album takes inspi-

ration from the graphic novel Black Hole, whose dark subject matter you can hear in its cartoonish, graveyard sock-hop stomps. CRIS LANKENAU. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9:30 pm. $12. 21+.

THURSDAY, JUNE 2 Holocene Turns 13: Rome Fortune, Shy Girls (DJ set), Daniela Karina

[TRESCEANERA] With a smallvenue formula as alluring as Holocene’s, it still dazzles to reﬂect on the meaning of its existence in Southeast Portland. In today’s rapidly accelerated development spree tearing through all things holy, Holocene has managed to maintain the block on contemporary booking and proper sound. Human meme, veteran MC and producer Rome Fortune headlines tonight’s 13th anniversary party, fresh from his self-titled release and some ATL-certiﬁed mixtapes with the likes of ILoveMakonnen. After following their dreams by emigrating to the palm-tree paradise of L.A., Portland expats Shy Girls return to deliver a DJ set as well. And be sure to catch homegirl all-star Daniela Karina throw down a mix of uplifting contemporary electronic beats. WYATT SCHAFFNER. Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St. 8:30 pm. Free. 21+.

The Kills, L.A. Witch

[CRAZY SCUZZY COOL] Transatlantic duo the Kills were third-stringers in the so-called “rock revival” of the early aughts, behind the Strokes, the White Stripes and, at the time, maybe even the Vines. As the years have gone on, however, singer Alison Mosshart and guitarist Jamie Hince have proven more durable—and in some ways more consistent—than many of their more exalted peers. Some of that has to do with the band’s ability to wring buckets of jet-black cool from its ultra-minimalist palette of programmed drums, serrated guitar and Mosshart’s vampiric vocals. It’s a shockingly adaptable formula, too: Over four albums—its ﬁfth, Ash & Ice, arrives this week—the Kills have traveled through PJ Harvey-esque scuzzblues and slinky dance-rock, even dabbling in reggae rhythms, all while maintaining the dark, dangerous sexiness that made them so appealing in the ﬁrst place. MATTHEW SINGER. Roseland Theater, 8 NW 6th Ave. 8 pm. $25. All ages.

Missy Higgins, Billy Raffoul

[FOLK POP] Ascending the ranks of Australian stardom through piano-driven pop ably described by the title of 2004 debut The Sound of White, Missy Higgins’ public persona bared hints of an inner life rather more interesting than what her Sarah McLachlanian balladry allowed. Once pregnant, Higgins would’ve been forgiven for settling into a domestic diva niche, but the singer-songwriter’s fourth release drew inspiration from far different pastures. Accompanied by self-penned essays about her emotional connections to each tune, 2014’s Oz assembled a collection of lesser-known antipodean classics from a breadth of unlikely artists (the Drones, Divinyls, Cold Chisel, Kylie Minogue), and though rendering divergent genres as unfailingly pleasant Lilith fare doesn’t always succeed, the attempts feel thrillingly personal, nonetheless. JAY HORTON. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 8 pm. $22.50. 21+.

CONT. on page 29

I Love Kanye, And You Should Too

A THERAPY SESSION FOR YEEZUS HATERS, ON THE OCCASION OF HIS 39TH BIRTHDAY. BY MATTHEW SIN GER

msinger@wweek.com

Let’s have a toast for the douchebags. Let’s have a toast for the assholes. Let’s have a toast for the internet commenters, some of the worst people I know. It’s Kanye West’s birthday, y’all. And as with everything involving the Chicago-raised rapper and producer, that’s bound to make some folks very upset. No one gets the world’s collective goat more than Yeezy. He’s brought a lot of it on himself, insofar as he clearly enjoys doing things to deliberately piss off certain people. When we reported rumors that he might play Portland this summer, the reaction on Facebook—from people who look like they’ve never heard a Kanye West song in their lives—suggested that he should be barred from entering the state of Oregon. He might be the only person in the world to routinely get petitioned against just for being annoying. Look, being a Kanye fan is exasperating at times. His purposeful trolling sometimes crosses the line. The whole “living album” experiment he’s somehow still conducting with The Life of Pablo has proven terribly misguided. He almost certainly needs a therapist to work out his issues with women. He’s enabling Desiigner’s career as a living Future bootleg. These are all legitimate criticisms. But these are not the reasons the average person dislikes him. Outside the realm of music writers and cultural critics, Kanye hate is mostly the product of blind (and, let’s admit it, racist) groupthink. And it makes me upset to know there are people missing out on not just a transformative artist, but perhaps the most entertaining public figure of our time. So, in celebration of Kanye’s 39th birthday, let us go point by point and work through your rage together.

defend the line about her on “Famous.” That’s actually disrespectful, and worse, factually inaccurate. But you hear how he chopped that Sister Nancy sample on the coda? Genius production forgives a lot.

He’s arrogant!

He’s annoying on Twitter!

Oh, you don’t say? A rapper has a high opinion of himself? That’s a new one. We expect rappers to brag about their personal greatness, so why does Kanye catch so much flak when he does it? Is it because he dares to position his boasts outside the rap game and demand respect from the music world at large? That’s my theory. But here’s the thing with that: Y’all know he’s messing with you, right? When he proclaims every album he makes “the greatest of all-time,” he no doubt partially believes it, but it’s mostly because he knows it’ll make a lot of boring, old rock fans grit their teeth and clutch their copy of Quadrophenia to their chest. If he gets you mad, it’s almost always because he wanted you to. Congratulations—you just played yourself.

He was mean to Taylor Swift!

Kanye’s heel turn happened when he snatched the mic away from America’s golden girl and ruined her big moment at the 2009 MTV Video Music Awards. Read that again, though: It happened at the fucking Video Music Awards. From the way everyone reacted, you’d think he ran onstage and smacked the Nobel Peace Prize out of her hand. What’s that bogus award show for if not rich people showing out and manufacturing drama? Don’t worry, Taylor’s fine. And I’m not going to

LEVI HASTINGS

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Prices listed are sometimes for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply. Event lineups are subject to change after WW’s press deadlines.

He also insinuated Beck didn’t deserve a Grammy!

This might seem egregious until you watch that HBO documentary on Scientology. Anyone who believes that shit should be forced to give all their awards to Beyoncé.

He married Kim Kardashian!

Of course he did! How do those Geico ads go? “If you’re Kanye West, you form a mad-making Voltron with the other super-famous person who makes everyone irrationally angry. It’s what you do.” We can break down the deep-seated misogyny at the core of Kardashian hate some other time. Kanye’s tweetstorms are why the platform was invented. Look at all the little moments of brilliance they’ve produced: “17th of all,” “#wizhascoolpants,” “#FingersInTheBootyAssBitch,” that time he asked Deadmaus to perform at his daughter’s birthday because she loves Minnie Mouse. His only slip-up so far has been proclaiming Bill Cosby’s innocence in a fit of spasmodic trolling, a declaration he reneges (or at least muddies) on the song “Facts.” Otherwise, whenever that little crown icon pops up in my timeline, I’m clearing my schedule for the next hour.

He’s not a good rapper!

It’s true, he still raps like the freshman at the college house party who’s grossly overestimated his own cleverness. But that’s what’s kept him relatable as his fame has ballooned. Besides, it’s hard not to admire the confidence it takes to sell a line like “I’m like the fly Malcolm X/ Buy any jeans necessary,” or drop stone-faced references to Adam Sandler movies into songs about Jesus and record-industry racism. So, yes, let’s have a toast: Happy birthday, Kanye, you magnificent asshole. Don’t ever change. The rest of you got some work to do. SEE IT: Ye Day with DJ Ronin Roc is at Holocene, 1001 SE Morrison St., on Friday, June 3. 9 pm. $10. 21+. Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC Ice Princess, Static and the Cubes, Lord Master

[STORYTIME METAL] Proving that metal is probably the most theatrical of all popular music genres, Ice Princess’ fictional backstory involves a thousand-year curse and a princess bent on vengeance. The narrative shapes everything, from lyrics to live shows, press photos to Facebook posts. Ice Princess is a living fantasy novel as much as a band, but you don’t need to grasp the concept to make sense of the music: The band’s recently released demo has thrasher riffs and and epic female vocals to satisfy all

your metal cravings. SHANNON GORMLEY. The Know, 2026 NE Alberta St. 8 pm. Contact venue for ticket information. 21+.

FRIDAY, JUNE 3 Sam Beam and Jesca Hoop, Marlon Williams

[ACOUSTI-FOLK] Collaborations aren’t new to Iron & Wine’s Sam Beam. Last year, he recorded an album of covers with Band of Horses’ Ben Bridwell, and in

CONT. on page 31

T R Av I S M . K E L L E R

PREVIEW

At the Drive-In [POST-POST-HARDCORE] At the Drive-In could’ve been a contender. Whether it ever would have made good on the “next Nirvana” hosannas once thrown in its direction is up for debate, but if you were around at the turn of the millennium, it certainly felt like the band, from the isolated border town of El Paso, Texas, was primed to do something important. It had a raw, wild but still accessible sound. It had a cool look, at least where the two dudes with Afros were concerned. Its live shows—as free-associative in movement as frontman Cedric Bixler-Zavala was in his lyrics—were the stuff of instant legend. At the height of what historians refer to as the Fred Durst Epoch, the group released its third album, Relationship of Command, wrangling its propulsive mix of post-hardcore spasticity and melodic earnestness into something that could work on alt-rock radio. Arriving six months after the Woodstock ’99 bropocalypse, it seemed like the extinction-level event that would do to nu metal what Nevermind did to its poodle-haired predecessor a decade earlier. Instead, the band flamed out right as it was reaching its tipping point. Six years of nonstop touring caught up to it, and by 2001, the members had splintered into two factions. Bixler-Zavala and guitarist Omar Rodriguez-Lopez—the guys with the big hair—formed the improbably successful prog-punk outfit the Mars Volta, with the other three continuing in a more streamlined direction as Sparta. Meanwhile, a legion of newly initiated fans were left rewatching hyperkinetic performance clips on YouTube, wondering what the hell happened. Sadly, Fred Durst got away relatively unscathed. And now, out of nowhere, At the Drive-In is back—in name, anyway. At this point in the era of the Great Rock-’n’-Roll Reunion, it’s foolish to dismiss any reformation out of hand. But if we’re being honest, it’s a good decade past the point when an ATD-I reunion would’ve really mattered. What made the band, for a brief instant, the most exciting in America was not its songs necessarily but the way it played them, with the flailing urgency of kids who escaped their dead-end hometown and desperately wanted never to go back. That’s an impossible thing to recapture so many years down the line, and early returns have borne that out. A run of festival gigs in 2012 were lackluster to the point of embarrassment, with Rodriguez-Lopez, in particular, looking like he was being forced to play at gunpoint. Making matters more skeptical, founding guitarist Jim Ward left just before the start of this current tour. Reviews suggest the band is more engaged than it was four years ago, and it’ll probably look and sound close enough to how it did before to satisfy those who never got to see At the Drive-In the first time around. But will it feel the same? How could it? That station is non-operational. MATTHEW SINGER. SEE IT: At the Drive-In plays Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St., on Monday, June 6. 8 pm. Sold out. All ages. Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

PRESENTS Thank you for voting in the 2016 Best of Portland Readers’ Poll! Winners will be announced in our annual BOP issue July 13 SAVE THE DATE! Best of Portland block party is back and better than ever! July 13th 5p–9pm Tickets go on sale June 15

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC

Discharge, Eyehategod, Toxic Holocaust, Blood Freak

[cLASSIc PUnK] Discharge’s 1982 album Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing sent its spores into nearly every murky realm ruled by punk and metal. the British band’s crust, thrash and hardcore descendents have produced better and more intense records in the past 30-plus years—that’s just the way parenthood works—but few have matched the band’s skilled rendering of terminal despair. Although Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing summons a few dim glimmers of resistance, it is mostly a statement of defeat, with the band’s oft-imitated drumbeat mimicking the sound of a sick world spinning its wheels. So, um, here’s hoping it still plays the hits? cHRIS StAMM. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St. 9 pm. $23. 21+.

Stephanie Schneiderman

[AMERIcAnA BALLADS] At first blush, it seems odd that local singersongwriter Stephanie Schneiderman is playing in front of Jimmy Mak’s red velvet curtains. But where else would she play? A searingly gentle soul whose acoustic quartet specializes in emotional, low-tempo balladry—a specialty that pairs well with a glass of white wine and a tablecloth—Schneiderman is too experienced for Wilfs and too smooth for Solae’s. Plus, given this venue and the day of the week, she’ll probably break out some of her more soul-laden numbers. call it an unexpected Friday night win for Jimmy’s. PARKER HALL. Jimmy Mak’s, 221 NW 10th Ave. 8 pm. $12. Under 21 permitted until 9:30 pm.

Corinne Bailey Rae, Moorea Masa

[R&B QUEEn] It’s been over a decade since British vocalist corinne Bailey Rae burst onto the world’s R&B stage with minor classic Like a Star. A Grammy Award-winning collaborator with Herbie Hancock, Paul Mccartney and numerous other music-world legends of substance, Rae is famed for her smooth and sultry attack, hitting pitches dead-on with a casual—but still intentional— ease. on her latest collection of songs, The Heart Speaks in Whispers, her voice molds gold sheets of sound out of shimmering piano harmonies, forming a dense collection fit for night drives, smoking sessions and, of course, the bedroom. PARKER HALL. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. Sold out. 21+.

SATURDAY, JUNE 4 The Briefs, Sex Crime, Lovesores, Andy Place and the Coolheads

[PoGo PoGo] If the recorded history of Seattle’s the Briefs ended with their 10-year-old full-length, there’d still be more than ample pop-infused punk to suffice. Hitting their stride about the same time as like-minded locals Exploding Hearts, the Briefs insinuated a bit more humor into their work with songs like “Silver Bullet” and their shout-along chorus of “Kill Bob Seger right now!” the ensemble rode out the wave of wiry punk that washed over the northwest during the early 21st century before taking a break from recording. the troupe has set studio time for July, so new material could be getting road tested at the local stop. DAVE cAntoR. Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St. 9 pm. $13. 21+.

Arbor Labor Union, Freak Heat Waves, Sundrones

[coSMIc AMERIcAnA] While the South remains a breeding ground for roots music, Seattle has long been associated with bolstering a different kind of sound, one anchored in sludgy guitars and pedal-supported rawness. to that point, it’s not surprising that recent Sub Pop signee Arbor Labor Union carries the hallmarks of both. the Georgia band’s debut, I Hear You, funnels neil Young riffage through mountains of unfocused distortion, creating dizzying textures that serve as the gateway for the band’s transcendental virtues. Frontman Bo orr’s vocals might sound sleepy, but his interplay with guitarist Brian Atoms helps keep the droning to the bare minimum. BRAnDon WIDDER. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5 Islands, Honus Honus

[EnDLESS SEt LISt] this double bill of Mister Heavenly frontmen comes on the heels of Islands releasing a pair of albums simultaneously and just before a yet-to-be-released Honus Honus solo effort. Islands’ Should I Remain Here, At Sea? is said to be a “spiritual successor” to their brilliant debut—a high-water mark of shiny, melodic pop, which Islands never quite matched on subsequent albums. Its partner release, Taste, finds Islands in electronic mode, using vintage synths and drum machines in place of traditional rock instrumentation. cRIS LAnKEnAU. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. $12 advance, $14 day of show. 21+.

MONDAY, JUNE 6 Mutual Benefit, Florist

[tWInKLInG FoLK] Jordan Lee’s Mutual Benefit is a fluid cast of

dream-folk musicians out to make you sob, and the group’s newest record, Skip a Sinking Stone, does just that. the first half frolics in baroque pop and twinkling chamber folk before shifting toward a darker, more poetic Side 2. It’s an interesting journey from a frontman whose work projected particular glee after the band’s debut record before settling into more depressive qualities after being overwhelmed by life in the Big Apple. In its tenderness and heartbreaking subtleties, Mutual Benefit is reminiscent of Horse Feathers. MARK StocK. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $12 advance, $13 day of show. 21+.

INTRODUCING c o U R t E SY o F FAc E B o o K

2013, Beam and calexico teamed up for an EP. But this experiment with californian singer-songwriter Jesca Hoop is the bearded troubadour’s first album of original tunes intentionally co-authored in collaborative style. Love Letter for Fire, released earlier this year, includes 13 true duets, so expect heartbreaking harmonies and maybe a few solo tunes from both artists. HILARY SAUnDERS. Aladdin Theater, 3017 SE Milwaukie Ave. 7 pm. Sold out. Under 21 permitted with parent or legal guardian.

dates here

Kevin Morby, Jaye Bartell

[FUtURE HALL oF FAMER] Kevin Morby’s latest record has been his most celebrated, but the fact is, the Woods guitarist has been crafting inspired, narrative-rich folk since the beginning—which was just three years ago. But when you turn out three remarkable records in as many years, it feels like the stuff of an entire career. the L.A. artist’s newest is called Singing Saw, and it is indeed a touching, detailed, thoughtful and— after a full listen on headphones— downright transfixing effort. Diehard fans of Harry nilsson, Destroyer and Gram Parsons, meet Mr. Morby, heir to the throne. MARK StocK. Mississippi Studios, 3939 N Mississippi Ave. 9 pm. $12. 21+.

The Sadies, Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet, Kris Orlowski and Michael Damron

[cAnADIAnA] torontonians travis and Dallas Good couldn’t opt for “the Good Brothers” when choosing a band name, as it was already taken by their dad and uncles, a canadian legacy act. Perhaps growing up immersed in the family business positioned the young’uns to play well with others, as—in addition to more than a half-dozen full-lengths under their own name—they’ve crafted collaborative albums with neko case (backing her live set The Tigers Have Spoken), John Doe, R&B legend Andre Williams, the tragically Hip’s Gord Downie and the Mekons frontman who got possessive enough to label them “Jon Langford and His Sadies” for the occasion. on their own, their sturdy songwriting, brotherly harmonies and unassailable instrumental chops more than carry the day. Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet are best known for the theme to sketch-comedy classic The Kids in the Hall. JEFF RoSEnBERG. Star Theater, 13 NW 6th Ave. 9 pm. $15. 21+.

TUESDAY, JUNE 7 Silversun Pickups, Joywave

[FM StAPLES] Few bands can beat Silversun Pickups when it comes to dependable, radio-friendly rock. the group’s music is both brooding and cinematic, two characteristics that

cont. on page 33

Small Million WHO: Malachi Graham (vocals), Ryan Linder (synths, guitar, production). FOR FANS OF: Sylvan Esso, Lady Lamb, Patsy Cline backed by synths. SOUNDS LIKE: Staring at a pine forest from your bedroom window at night with the sounds of someone else’s party coming through your floor. When Ryan Linder and Malachi Graham of synth-pop duo Small Million first met, at a Holocene disco party in early 2013, they weren’t exactly on the same page. He was an electronic producer, and she was a roots-indebted singer-songwriter. Collaboration seemed unlikely. “I respect what you do, but that’s never a genre I thought about being involved in,” Graham remembers thinking. Linder, however, had been looking for a female collaborator since relocating from L.A. He looked up Graham’s music and later went to see her perform. “I loved Malachi’s voice,” he says, “because it was different from the type of music that I was making.” Linder approached Graham after her show, and the two decided to see what they could make out of their opposing styles. Meshing together their very different backgrounds took some trial and error. But a turning point came with the melancholy “Six Feet,” which was featured on the 2014 PDX Pop Now compilation. In the sparse synths and deeply emotive vocals, the duo found a universal language in their shared love of melody and emotion. “It didn’t matter what type of music I was making, as long as it provided something for Malachi to make a beautiful melody,” Linder says. Graham says the shift in genre moved her toward writing more vulnerable, personal lyrics. “I think there’s something so raw and emotional about the instrumental tracks that Ryan’s creating,” she says. “I felt like I had to really tap into something.” The result is Small Million’s euphoric debut EP, Before the Fall. You can still hear the Americana-steeped virtuosity in Graham’s voice on “Nightblooming” and “Sleep Long,” but even at its twangiest, it seems right at home among the twinkling synths and rhythmic loops. As it turns out, Graham and Linder helped each other realize what they were both searching for as songwriters, and it transcends genre conventions. “I’m picking up the pieces that make me feel the most,” Linder says. SHANNON GORMLEY SEE IT: Small Million play Secret Society, 116 nE Russell St., with Mothertapes and Leo Islo, on Saturday, June 4. 9 pm. $8. 21+.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

TICKETS ON SALE AT

PORTLAND.PROJECTPABST.COM

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

SUNDAY AUGUST 28 SATURDAY AUGUST 27

21+

DURAN DURAN ICE CUBE

/ NATHANIEL / RATELIFF

STRFKR / & THE NIGHT SWEATS A$AP FERG / ANDREW W.K. / LIZZO THE COATHANGERS / KYLE CRAFT

TAME IMPALA / WEEN / DRIVE LIKE JEHU

UNKNOWN MORTAL ORCHESTRA PARQUET COURTS / SHEER MAG HOP ALONG

/ DIARRHEA PLANET / TENEMENT

WATERFRONT PARK PORTLAND, OR

MUSIC

dates here

could define a host of bands born in the Silver Lake area of L.A. Unlike others, Silversun Pickups hasn’t drastically changed in the past decade. Frontman Brian Aubert’s androgynous vocals are still as gutwrenching as ever, and his violent guitar work is just as restrained. though the band’s fourth album, Better Nature, finds it pairing distortion with minor electronics, it still leaves Aubert and company sounding like they always have— that is, like a tepid mashup of Smashing Pumpkins and crystal castles. BRAnDon WIDDER. Crystal Ballroom, 1332 W Burnside St. 8 pm. $32.50 advance, $35 day of show. All ages.

Pup, Rozwell Kid, Charly Bliss, Lee Corey Oswald

[PUnK RocK] the cover of Pup’s newest record, The Dream Is Over, shows a dude sitting on a couch reading the paper, while the other half of the couch goes up in flames. It’s a pretty apt depiction for this toronto punk band’s live shows, in which everyday reality is set ablaze by fiery, raucous eardrum destruction. the band doesn’t sacrifice punk yelling or power chords for its melodic moments, though, which makes Pup both energetic and engaging. HILARY SAUnDERS. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm. $10 advance, $12 day of show. 21+.

Modern Baseball, Joyce Manor, Thin Lips

[EMo] Although Modern Baseball’s sizable fan base surely knew their antiheroes split creative duties between singer-guitarists Jacob Ewald and Brendan Lukens, the emo revivalists’ first two releases felt less like the work of dueling frontmen than differently flavored variants of the same basic breed— all unhappy, late-adolescent poppunk vocalists are alike, as they say. But the Philly quartet’s justlaunched Holy Ghost highlights a widening separation. on the front half, Ewald articulates (perhaps overarticulates) a melancholic ennui across newly expansive songcraft. Lukens, following treatment for lower-case suicidal tendencies and the rarefied torment of marijuana addiction, opts for lyrical urgency and anthemic bombast. neither should be confused with an especially mature talent, but taken together, the pains so indelibly inscribed on each track do seem damnably adult. JAY HoRton. Hawthorne Theatre, 1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. 7:30 pm. $19 advance, $22 day of show. All ages.

Mirah, Jherek Bischoff

[InDIE AVAnt-PoP] K Records mainstay Mirah began as a tender, lo-fi singer-songwriter whose debut sounded like a precocious teenager with an ear for melody scoring her diary. Every album since has built upon her ingenious expansion of a unique and sometimes fragile sound, with frequent collaborator Phil Elverum and, more recently, Jherek Bischoff. It’s been a couple years since we last saw a full-length, and she’s since switched coastal residences. But the cavernous old church is the perfect setting for a small voice made huge by acoustics. cRIS LAnKEnAU. The Old Church, 1422 SW 11th Ave. 8 pm. $13 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

Robbie Fulks

[MoDERn BASEBALL] In a world of radar guns, Robbie Fulks is a knuckleball. over his 30-year career, the alt-country troubadour has veered between styles and tones in a way that’s hard to chart, predict or reward. His flirtations with widespread notoriety include an acoustic cover of Abba’s “Dancing Queen” blown up by nPR, a famous-in-chicago annual tribute to the year’s notable passings, and a takedown of nashville industry

ALBUM REVIEWS

Sam Humans SOULBOSS (Self-Released) [CHAMELEONIC COUTURE] To listen to Sam Humans’ first full-length album no longer under the Modernstate moniker is to cruise rather pleasantly through a lifetime of influential touchstones: the travel-brochure gloss of Rusted Root (“Wee See Colors”), the melodrama o f Wo l f P a r a d e ’s Spencer Krug leavened by Beck’s wry deadpan (“Steam”), the gnarled math jams of Tortoise (“Put Right Yr Mind”), the gothy post-punk of Interpol (album standout “Golden Eagle”), the weirdo folk pastiche of Devendra Banhart (“Let the Trees”), and the molten Americana of Will Oldham (“Love Is a Spring”). Sonic signposts immediately emerge like mile markers, not so much shades of other bands as definitive directions toward whatever sound Sam Humans wants Soulboss to claim. All of it stews together into something undoubtedly impressive—fascinating, even. But as Sam Humans makes his way through one genre after another, the excitement of the musician’s technical prowess and his ability to inhabit the skin of seemingly any psych- or dance-flecked favorite begins to lose shape. One sees why he’s a guitarist and percussionist in the cumbia orchestra Orquestra Pacifico Tropical—the guy can probably play anything—just as one starts to wish a unique voice would break free from the fray to give the whole album some real focus. DOM SINACOLA. SEE IT: Sam Humans plays the Know, 2026 nE Alberta St., 503-473-8729, with LKnPF and Eagle Sun King, on tuesday, June 7. 8 pm. call venue for ticket information. 21+.

Sex Crime SEX CRIME (Danger) [SYNTH PUNK] In terms of imagery, multilingual synthpunk foursome Sex Crime presents itself as a sort of politically incorrect carny horror show. On record, though, the theatrics are dialed down in favor of relentlessly precise, hook-heavy punk that never downshifts from top speed. Refreshingly brash, the band’s first album finds frontwoman and Parisian expat Cecilia Meneau in full freak-out mode for all of the album’s dozen tracks. Think Plastic Bertrand’s dance-floorfiller “Ca Plane Pour Moi” led by Poison Ivy and Lux Interior of the Cramps. “Ta Photo Sur Mon Frigo,” sung entirely in French, is an exemplar of the multicultural stomp Sex Crime does best, its one-note guitar lead and stop-start backbeat balancing the intentionally simplified delivery system of condensed, ultra-potent energy. The chug of church organ and guitar buzz on tracks like “All Systems No” and “People” lay a solid, spazzed-out foundation for Meneau and company to continue pushing the band’s adrenaline rush. By the end of it’s condensed runtime, the only controversy should be how exhausted you feel. CRIS LANKENAU. SEE IT: Sex crime plays Dante’s, 350 W Burnside St., with the Briefs, Lovesores, and Andy Place and the coolheads, on Saturday, June 4. 9 pm. $13. 21+.

cont. on page 35 Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC KENNETH CAPPELLO

DATES HERE

The Kills play Roseland Theater on Thursday, June 2. culture called “Fuck This Town.” Get up close, and you’ll notice the unmistakable shimmer of powered genius sprinkled on everything from a straight-faced tribute to Leonard Cohen presented through the eyes of Lynyrd Skynyrd to a pop-tuned homage to Fountains of Wayne presented as a hotline call and his fragile, brooding new single, “Alabama at Night.” In other words, he tosses the kind of junkballs that win the ardor of a certain stripe of country-aware, humor-appreciative music geek—if that sounds like you, take a swing. MARTIN CIZMAR. White Eagle Saloon, 836 N Russell St. 8 pm. $18 advance, $20 day of show. 21+.

CLASSICAL, JAZZ & WORLD The Improvisation Summit of Portland

[IMPROV SUMMIT] Where else but Disjecta to host this all-ages gathering of Portland’s finest cast of freewheeling acoustic and electronic musicians? Presented by the Creative Music Guild, this three-day festival promises the unexpected, which is what you’re going to get when you put 18 artists ranging from composers, noise musicians, local operatic figures and performance artists together in the same expansive building. The nonprofit CMG has been responsible for promoting and showcasing touring and local musicians with what could be considered either free jazz or electronic music depending on who’s talking. Your contribution to the Guild for tonight’s show also ensures a ticket to panel discussions and workshops hosted by the luminaries for this gathering. WYATT SCHAFFNER. Disjecta, 8371 N Interstate Ave. 7 pm Thursday-Friday, 11:30 am Saturday, June 2-4. $12 per day, $30 three-day pass. All ages.

Tiempo Libre

[CARIBBEAN FUSION] An amalgamation of seven classically trained salsa maestros, Tiempo Libre’s Afro-Caribbean rhythms are almost annoyingly infectious. Persistent charmers who grin through their pearly whites while forcing audiences into a dancefueled cardio frenzy—an event that should be especially interest-

ing at the many-tiered Newmark— Tiempo Libre has earned three Grammy nominations for its clean takes on Latin jazz. Sophisticated musicians whose art manifests as a virtuosic dance extravaganza, there’s almost no way you’ll stay in your seat for the whole show, regardless of the venue’s perilous layout. PARKER HALL. Newmark Theatre, 1111 SW Broadway. 7:30 pm Friday, June 3. $26 advance, $36 day of show. All ages.

Northwest Piano Trio

[CLASSICAL WOMEN] The allfemale Northwest Piano Trio aims to redress the sexist neglect of female composers with a program of music written by some of the finest female classical composers of the 19th, 20th and 21st centuries. Better known as one of Europe’s best pianists, the object of Brahms’ affections and wife of Robert Schumann, Clara Wieck was also a promising composer, sometimes taking unconventional turns in the context of 19th-century European romanticism. Though she later dismissed her 1846 piano trio as “no more than women’s work,” it should appeal to fans of Mendelssohn. Germaine Tailleferre, one of Paris’ famous 1920s composers group Les Six (with Poulenc, Milhaud and others), began her breezy trio during World War I and expanded it six decades later. Sometimes variously reminiscent of Romantic and neoclassical music by older French composers like Ravel, Fauré and Chausson, it retains its originality and Parisian joie de vivre. Pulitzer Prize winner Jennifer Higdon may be the most popular American composer of her generation, a successor to Aaron Copland whose music appeals to classical aficionados and newbies alike. Her joyous piano trio reflects the moods of its movement titles—the pastel “Pale Yellow” lyrical and yearning, the blazing “Fiery Red” blistering and exhilarating. BRETT CAMPBELL. First Presbyterian Church, 1200 SW Alder St. 2 pm Sunday, June 5. $10 advance, $15 day of show. All ages.

For more Music listings, visit Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Portland Nonprofits! It’s time! Apply for the 2016 Give!Guide and Nominate someone for the Skidmore Prize AVAILABLE UNTIL JUNE 30 AT GIVEGUIDE.ORG “Give!Guide is a toolkit that allows nonprofits to have a really successful, professional year-end giving campaign. WW does all of the heavy lifting, such as creating the website, gift processing and city-wide promotion, and PPN! just works really hard to educate people about how important our work is and encourage people to donate. G!G allows us to raise more money than we ever could on our own.” —Julie Miller, former Development Director, PDX Pop Now! 36

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

MUSIC CALENDAR WED. JUNE 1 Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Portland Youth Jazz Orchestra, The Shanghai Woolies

Corkscrew

1665 SE Bybee Blvd Mike Winkle and Craig Snazelle

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Smoker’s Club Tour

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Trashcan Sinatras

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Millencolin

High Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Waver Clamor Bellow, Medina/Walsh, Fader, Second Sleep

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. GRAMMIES, Johanna Warren, Like a Villain

Jimmy Mak’s

Mel Brown B3 Organ Group; Ashley Henry and Friends

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St, Zach Bryson

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Lewi Longmire & the Left Coast Roasters; Ezra Bell, Eric Kallio

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Mo Phillips: for kids

Roseland Theater

8 NW 6th Ave The Kills, L.A. Witch

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Missy Higgins, Billy Raffoul

The Firkin Tavern

1937 SE 11th Ave Adam Finger 4tet, Yacolt Burn, Motorcoat

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Asher Fulero Band

Landmark Saloon

The Secret Society

2958 NE Glisan St Lynn Conover & Gravel; The Waysiders

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Tallulah’s Daddy

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. La Luz, Sick Sad World

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Shafty

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Uranium Club, Dr. Identity, Ex-Debs

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Mary Anne Seth-Wish and Michael Barnes,

THURS. JUNE 2 Ash Street Saloon

225 SW Ash St White Wail, Sexxxpanther, Manson’s Girls, Saola

Corkscrew

1665 SE Bybee Blvd Mike Horsfall and Kevin Deitz

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Dookie Jam

Disjecta

8371 N Interstate The Improvisation Summit of Portland

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Tumbledown

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Holocene Turns 13: Rome Fortune, Shy Girls (DJ set), Daniela Karina

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave.

LAST WEEK LIVE

426 SW Washington St. XRAY + We Out Here Magazine presents: The Thesis

The Know

LaurelThirst Public House

[JUNE 1-7]

Kelly’s Olympian

221 NW 10th Ave. The Christopher Brown Quartet; Mel Brown Quartet 4847 SE Division St, Jake Ray and the Cowdogs; Miller and Sasser’s Twelve Dollar Band

For more listings, check out wweek.com.

HEnRY cRoMEtt

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: Matthew Singer. to HAVE YoUR EVEnt LIStED, send show information at least two weeks in advance on the web at wweek.com/ submitevents. Press kits, cDs and especially vinyl can be sent to Music Desk, WW, 2220 nW Quimby St., Portland, oR 97210. Please include show or release date information with all physical mailings. Email: music@wweek.com.

2026 NE Alberta St Ice Princess, Static and the Cubes, Lord Master 116 NE Russell St Thursday Swing featuring Baby & The Pearl Blowers, Everything’s Jake

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Brett Dennen

FRI. JUNE 3 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Sam Beam and Jesca Hoop, Marlon Williams

Alberta Rose

3000 NE Alberta St Tuck & Patti, Adlai Alexander

Alberta Street Pub

1036 NE Alberta St Jenny Don’t and The Spurs, Miss Lonely Hearts, Joshua McCaslin

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Discharge, Eyehategod, Toxic Holocaust, Blood Freak

Disjecta

8371 N Interstate The Improvisation Summit of Portland

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Coldwater

High Water Mark Lounge

6800 NE MLK Ave Mujahedeen, Husky Boys, Snow Roller, PASS

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Stephanie Schneiderman

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St, Buddy Evans and the Eastside 3

LaurelThirst Public House 2958 NE Glisan St Baby Gramps

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Booligh Jam; Goldfoot, The Ground

SAVAGE LOVE: The last time Savages played Portland, it posted notices in the lobby of Wonder Ballroom requesting that fans refrain from using their cellphones during the show. “We believe that the use of phones to film and take pictures during a gig prevents all of us from totally immersing ourselves,” the sign read. At the time, the band was on its first major tour, playing for audiences of curious spectators whose attentiveness it hadn’t yet earned. Back at the Wonder on May 28, in support of second album Adore Life, it didn’t have to ask for attention: It commanded it. “Are you here?” shouted singer Jehnny Beth, clad in black jeans and a sports bra, locking hands and eyes with the front row and pointing to the balcony. From its inception, Savages was a singularly intense live act, but almost frightfully so, to the point of being alienating. With Adore Life, the band warmed its chilly brand of post-punk ever so slightly, celebrating the dark power of love with a greater emphasis on songwriting, Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Corinne Bailey Rae, Moorea Masa

Newmark Theatre 1111 SW Broadway Tiempo Libre

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Sign of the Beast, Metalesque

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Wildlight

The Firkin Tavern 1937 SE 11th Ave Jameson and the Conditionals, The Silhouette Era, The Longways

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St First Friday Superjam with DJ Magneto and Friends

The Know 2026 NE Alberta St The Hugs, Hey Lover, The Critical Shakes

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave An Evening with Julianne Johnson and the PCC Choir

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St

The Barn Door Slammers

The Secret Society 116 NE Russell St Johnny Boyd, The Jumptown Aces

Turn! Turn! Turn!

8 NE Killingsworth St Dead Men Talking, The American West & Ellis Pink

SAT. JUNE 4 Alberta Street Pub 1036 NE Alberta St Alberta Street Pub Turns 3

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St The Polish Ambassador

Dante’s

350 West Burnside The Briefs, Sex Crime, Lovesores, Andy Place and the Coolheads

Disjecta

8371 N Interstate The Improvisation Summit of Portland

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Three Bad Jacks

High Water Mark Lounge 6800 NE MLK Ave

Amos val, A Film in Color, Coastlands, Paper Gates

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Ken DeRouchie Band / Robbie Laws Band

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. The Frequence, La Cerca, The Very Foundation

Kenton Club

2025 N Kilpatrick St Joshua James and The Runaway Trains, The Moon Spinners, The Von Howlers

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St, Barndoor Slammers

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Amanda Richards & the Good Long Whiles; Von Stomper, Jackalope Saints, Blind J. Wakins; Billy Kennedy (all ages!)

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Beautiful Trainwrecks

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Talullah’s Daddy & his Band; POPgoji

and that openness translated to a performance the crowd was much more eager to engage with. Sonically, though, it was no less severe. Guitarist Gemma Thompson didn’t so much play her instrument as conjure noise from it, casting shadows against the ghostly dub of “Slowing Down the World” and sculpting waves of feedback on “I Need Something New.” Bassist Ayse Hassan and drummer Fay Milton propelled the band’s headlong attack, with Hassan, in particular, seemingly locked in a trance, swaying to unheard rhythms between songs. As the set reached its most raging points, Beth made sure the crowd never took a step back, flinging herself into their hands and encouraging everyone to pack closer to the stage. And on “Hit Me,” she marched straight into them. Lifted into a kneeling position, she delivered a furious incantation, before crawling back toward the stage. A few people held their phones aloft to capture the moment. You couldn’t blame them. MATTHEW SINGER. Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Arbor Labor Union, Freak Heat Waves, Sundrones

Revolution Hall

1300 SE Stark St #110 Portland Lesbian Choir 30th Anniversary Concert and Celebration

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. Delhi 2 Dublin, LoveBomb Go-Go, Jai Ho! Dance Troupe

SUN. JUNE 5 Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall

1037 SW Broadway Metropolitan Youth Symphony Spring Concert

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Cloud City Circus

Duff’s Garage

2530 NE 82nd Ave Three Bad Jacks

The Analog Cafe

First Presbyterian Church

The Goodfoot

High Water Mark Lounge

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Lake Oswego School of Rock

1200 SW Alder St. Northwest Piano Trio

2845 SE Stark St Farnell Newton & The Othership Connection, Eldridge Gravy & The Court Supreme

6800 NE MLK Ave Plane Without a Pilot, Naked Luck, Piefight, Daisy Deaths

The Know

4847 SE Division St, Ian Miller and Friends!

2026 NE Alberta St The Born Losers, Bashface, Earth World

The Old Church 1422 SW 11th Ave Phillip Mandel

The Secret Society

116 NE Russell St Small Million, Mothertapes, Leo Islo

Landmark Saloon

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Freak Mountain Ramblers; Doc Slocum’s Old-Time Jam

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Farrago

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Islands, Honus Honus

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Rotten Sound, Witch Vomit, Nescient

Rontoms

600 E Burnside St The Stargazer Lilies, Cat Hoch, Thomas Mudrick

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Trines

The Embers Avenue

100 NW Broadway Rocky Rhodes Karaoke

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Conchords Chorale presents Springtime on Broadway

Wonder Ballroom 128 NE Russell St. Local H

Crystal Ballroom 1332 W Burnside St At The Drive-In

Dante’s

350 West Burnside Karaoke From Hell

Doug Fir Lounge

830 E Burnside St. Mutual Benefit, Florist

cont. on page 38 37

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Andrew ImAnAkA

MUSIC

La Luz plays Mississippi Studios on Wednesday, June 1. Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Dan Balmer Trio; Mt. View High School Jazz Band

TUES. JUNE 7 Aladdin Theater

3017 SE Milwaukie Ave Blackalicious

Landmark Saloon

Crystal Ballroom

LaurelThirst Public House

Doug Fir Lounge

4847 SE Division St, Mike Coykendal

2958 NE Glisan St Portland Country Underground; Kung Pao Chickens

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Mr. Ben

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Kevin Morby, Jaye Bartell

Star Theater

13 NW 6th Ave. The Sadies, Shadowy Men on a Shadowy Planet, Kris Orlowski and Michael Damron

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Sonic Forum

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Paranoid, Absolut, Violent Party // Spetsnaz

1332 W Burnside St Silversun Pickups, Joywave 830 E Burnside St. PUP, Rozwell Kid, Charly Bliss, Lee Corey Oswald

Hawthorne Theatre

1507 SE César E. Chávez Blvd. Modern Baseball, Joyce Manor, Thin Lips; Long Hallways (lounge)

Jimmy Mak’s

221 NW 10th Ave. Mel Brown Septet; Union High School Jazz Band

Landmark Saloon

4847 SE Division St, Honky Tonk Union

LaurelThirst Public House

2958 NE Glisan St Jackstraw; Kory Quinn Songrwriter Circle

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave Coastal Cascade & guests; Baby Ketten Karaoke

Mississippi Studios

3939 N Mississippi Ave. Astronautalis, Ceschi and Factor Chandelier

The Analog Cafe

720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. Ultra Magnetic; The Other Place

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Yak Attak

The Know

2026 NE Alberta St Sam Humans, LKNPF, Eagle Sun King

The Old Church

1422 SW 11th Ave Mirah, Jherek Bischoff; Little Ears Concerts for Children: Peter and the Wolf

White Eagle Saloon

836 N Russell St Robbie Fulks

Decadent 80s (new wave, synthpop, dance)

Killingsworth Dynasty 832 N Killingsworth St Lez Do It

Moloko

WED. JUNE 1 Euphoria Nightclub

315 SE 3rd Ave Pacific Patterns at FAK Wednesdays

Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. TRONix (electronica)

Panic Room

3100 NE Sandy Blvd Wicked Wednesdays with DJ Wicked.

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd. DJ Hot Lips

Star Bar

639 Southeast Morrison St. DJ BOOM!

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Event Horizon (darkwave, EBM, industrial)

THURS. JUNE 2 Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave Northern Draw

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Flight Risk

Mississippi Pizza

3552 N Mississippi Ave DJ Olde Toby (dance)

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Jackal’s House

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Star Bar

639 Southeast Morrison St. DJ OverCol

The Embers Avenue 100 NW Broadway Thursday Electronic

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, Fomo Disco

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Shadowplay (goth, industrial)

FRI. JUNE 3 Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave Seoul Brother #1 & King Tim 33 1/3

Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave The Cave with Massacooramaan

East Burn

1800 E Burnside St. DJ Queasy

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ AM Gold

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. YE DAY: Celebrating the Birth of Kanye West

Jack London Bar 529 SW 4th Ave.

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Frankeee B

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd. French Beat a Go-Go with DJ Cecilia (french pop, 60s, garage, punk)

Star Bar

639 Southeast Morrison St. Uncontrollable Urge with DJ Paultimore

The Embers Avenue 100 NW Broadway Friday Night 80’s & Top 40

The Goodfoot

2845 SE Stark St Soul Stew with DJ Aquaman (funk, soul, disco)

The Lovecraft Bar 421 SE Grand Ave Death Trip (garage, psyche, death rock)

The steep and thorny way to heaven SE 2nd & Hawthorne Brickbat Mansion

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Surface Noise Vinyl Invitational Happy Hour

SAT. JUNE 4 Beulahland

118 NE 28th Ave Damaged with Just Dave & Heathers

Where to drink this week. 1. Skyline Tavern

8031 NW Skyline Blvd., 503-286-4788, skytav.com. Skyline tavern, our 2016 Bar of the year, is a singular mountain vacation within Portland city limits—an old roadhouse dive with a back patio looking out on trees and more trees, a barbecue out back and, lately, a credit-card reader and a great beer list.

henry cromett

BAR REVIEW

2. Old Gilbert Road Tavern

5501 SE 72nd Ave., oldgilbertroad.com. the spirit of mount Scott resides in this roughand-tumble dive with “classy as fuck” champagne cocktails, “chicken stripper” sandwiches and a damn good tap list, not to mention a stage housing bizarro nights co-hosted by a lady in a monkey suit and presided over by Bernie Sanders posters.

3. Shift Drinks

1200 SW Morrison St., 503-922-3933, shiftdrinkspdx.com. Shift Drinks is a very smart bar, with very strong drinks, very good service and very idiosyncratic wines. It is, perhaps, the only westside drinkery we can trust to keep its cool, even on a Saturday.

4. Quarterworld

4811 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-236-2454. Quarterworld is slowly coming together—after a start that seemed a little unfinished. the newest addition? A giant goddamn tesla coil like the one in every supervillain’s lair. except this one, named tessie, plays the Super Mario theme in time to flashing lights.

5. Toffee Club

1006 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 971-254-9518, toffeeclubpdx.com. english—and occasional timbers—soccer bar toffee club can seem half-filled-in in places, but where else can you eat bangers and mash and down a Fuller’s while watching a backroom projection of an everton game with a soccer ball bigger than any human head?

Crystal Ballroom

1332 W Burnside St Come As You Are - 90s Dance Flashback

East Burn

1800 E Burnside St. Magnus Cagney

Gold Dust Meridian

3267 SE Hawthorne Blvd. DJ Joel Jett

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Yes, Please! (disco, house)

Moloko

3967 N. Mississippi Ave. Roane

Sandy Hut

1430 NE Sandy Blvd. DJ Sean (from Pork Magazine)

Spare Room

4830 NE 42nd Ave pdx or 97218

THE RULE OF LAW: Pine Street Market, the new upscale downtown food hall, is a surprisingly bad place to get a drink. A 12-ounce bottle of Stiegl Radler is $5, while some truly bizarre cocktails command double-digit prices. But Common Law (126 SW 2nd Ave.) is one mighty exception. At a little wood-topped bar tucked away behind the Pine Street entrance, the bar has six stools and a drink menu—created by Hat Yai’s Alan Akwai—with cocktails that stand up to any in town. The Turmeric Pick-Me-Up ($10) is a frothy alcoholic curry, mixing turmeric-infused gin with coconut milk and St. Germain for a drink that feels impossibly light—a good-natured joke told in liquid form. The Negative Cycle ($10) combines dry amontillado with German honey-liqueur Bärenjäger and herbal Bonal to make an ethereally boozy take on toffee-rich Werther’s Original. It’s ingenious. If you don’t want to pay more than $5 for a drink, there’s Rosenstadt and Pfriem on tap and a rotating liquor punch. And while the Euro-Asian fusion food from Paley’s alum Patrick McKee wasn’t designed as bar fare, that briochebunned burger ($10) is nonetheless the richest pub burger in town, with salty fried onions adding fat and texture to the rich, sweet spice of the green curry aioli. Top the medium-rare beef with pork ($2) and an egg ($1) and you’ll be dizzy with umami. The only shame is if you don’t catch one of those barstools, you’re stuck carting your drinks to the cramped picnic tables, drinking a lovely cocktail next to some ungrateful 8-year-old having sword fights with rotisserie chicken bones. MATTHEW KORFHAGE.

Sugar Town with DJ Action Slacks (queer soul shindig)

Star Bar

639 Southeast Morrison St. Trip City with DJ Drew Groove (mod, soul, garage, punk)

The Embers Avenue

100 NW Broadway Saturday Top 40 Remixed

The Liquor Store

3341 SE Belmont St, WAVES (future house, breaks)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Expressway to Yr Skull with MISPRID (shoegaze, goth)

Valentines

232 SW Ankeny St Prince Birthday Video Celebration

SUN. JUNE 5 The Embers Avenue

100 NW Broadway Latino Night (latin, cubono, salsa)

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Sad Day: Clown Frown

White Owl Social Club

1305 SE 8th Ave East Bridge Club (house, disco)

MON. JUNE 6 Ground Kontrol

511 NW Couch St. Reagan-o-mix (new wave, hiphop, soundtrack)

Kelly’s Olympian

426 SW Washington St. Eye Candy VJs

Star Bar

639 Southeast Morrison St. Metal Monday w/ DJ Cranium

The Lovecraft Bar

421 SE Grand Ave Murder Mass (industrial, spooky)

TUES. JUNE 7 Black Book

20 NW 3rd Ave Turnt Up Tuesdays

Holocene

1001 SE Morrison St. Prince: Tribute Night with Holla n Oates & DJ Ronin Roc

The Embers Avenue 100 NW Broadway Recycle (dark dance)

Tube

18 NW 3rd Ave. Tubesdays

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

EACH BOTH SUNDAY, JUNE 5TH AT 5PM

Portland residents Victor Johnson and Skyler Hamler have been playing music together for five years, entranced with the power of songs and songwriting. Each Both represents their purest incarnation, having shed other musical contributors along the way from Montana to Oregon, and continues their mission statement of writing pure pop music.

SONGWRITER’S CIRCLE

WITH INIAN MOON, JESSI J & ROBIN WASHBURN MONDAY, JUNE 6TH AT 7PM

Inian Moon has been singing since before she could walk. Jessi J brings a little bit of New England flair to her singer-songwriter style. Robin Washburn is a Portland musician and filmmaker performing under the moniker Seance School.

CASE/LANG/VEIRS TUESDAY, JUNE 14TH AT 6PM

case/lang/veirs, a true collaboration between three phenomenal, self-driven artists: avantrock icon Neko Case, legendary musical nomad k.d. lang, and indie folk star Laura Veirs. The women wrote all 14 songs and shared lead vocals equally, sometimes even within the same track. Full of stunning harmonies and spellbinding rhythms, case/lang/veirs travels through

aches and eras, torch songs and tributes to the undersung. Join Neko Case, k.d.lang and Laura Veirs at Music Millennium in Portland for a Vinyl Tuesday Record Release/ Signing party, including a live Q&A session. Pre-buy “case/lang/veirs “ at Music Millennium today to guarantee admittance!

’S M U I N N E L L I M C I S MU

5 day e l a s l y vin SAVE 20% ON ALL NEW* & USED VINYL IN THE STORE! BUY A TURNTABLE, SAVE EVEN MORE! SPEND $100+ ON A TURNTABLE, RECEIVE A $20 GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR USED VINYL SPEND $200+ ON A TURNTABLE, RECEIVE A $30 GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR USED VINYL SPEND $300+ ON A TURNTABLE, RECEIVE A $40 GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR USED VINYL

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1ST THROUGH SUNDAY, JUNE 5TH *APPLIES TO REGULAR WHITE STICKER PRICE, NOT TO BE USED IN COMBINATION WITH OTHER SALES OR OFFERS

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

2016 OUTDOOR GUIDE

Find complete distribution directory at wweek.com For more information call 503.242.2122

your guide to oregon's north coast

seven incredible hikes tO lush valleys and rOcky cliffs Our favOrite spOts fOr crab and chOwder awesOme stays, frOm artsy airstreams tO hipster beach resOrts

PERFORMANCE

“It’s It’s going to burst, and everyone’s mind will be blown.”

= WW Pick. Highly recommended.

Editor: ENID SPITZ. Theater: ENID SPITZ (espitz@wweek.com). Dance: ENID SPITZ (dance@wweek. com). TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit information at least two weeks in advance to: espitz@wweek.com.

THEATER OPENINGS & PREVIEWS Sweeney Todd

Portland Opera has been killing it lately, pun intended. This ﬂamboyant and bloody drama features set and costume designs from the original Broadway staging and former New York City Opera music director George Manahan in the pit. With revenge, pies and a killer Verdi baritone, the 1979 Tony Award winner for Best Musical somehow never gets old. Keller Auditorium, 222 SW Clay St., 503248-4335. 7:30 pm Friday, Thursday and Saturday, June 3, 9 and 11; 2 pm Sunday, June 5. $28-$250.

NEW REVIEWS Beirut

An old mattress and a semi-nude partner are all London Bauman (Torch) and Tiana Tuttle (Blue) need to provide the captivating and visceral performance of Beirut at The Steep and Thorny Way to Heaven. Set in a New York where a sexually transmitted plague (which is an obvious metaphor for HIV) is being combatted with strict quarantine zones and a ban on sex, Torch, an infected man, and Blue, his uninfected girlfriend, struggle to make their relationship work. They alternate between moments of extreme aggression—such as when Torch throws Blue around the room in frustration, or when Blue tells Torch to “die alone”— and deep displays of love. Show at 7 pm on Friday, June 3. An extremely moving production, this show blurrs the line between stage and audience becomes in the tiny Eastside Industrial theater. The Steep And Thorny Way To Heaven, SE 2nd &amp; Hawthorne, 8 pm Friday-Sunday, May 27-June 4. $10-18.

Note to Self

The laws of time go out of the window at CoHo Theater, where this series of vignettes puts characters’ old and young selves in dialog. The ensemble piece explores six different lives, following characters like Dirk the dive bar fixture, Myra the social activist and a bunny named Gretel. The one connecting thread is age. Twelve actors ranging in age from 23 to 80 paired up in CoHo’s workshop series to create the characters, which combine elements of each actor’s own life story. That might explain the show’s sporadic narrative arc. About 80 percent of the play has a straightforward storyline, but the other 20 percent veers wildly. A chirpy musical number decries the “problem with pronouns,” then actors play trees in a chanting call-andresponse scene, and finally, a frontierera fable tells the tale of a rabbit thief names Clever Gretel. While the show hits poignant high points, sequences like these distract from the best moments. Only when director Adrienne Flagg uses more conventional storytelling devices do the characters shine. GRACE CULHANE. CoHo Theater, 2257 NW Raleigh St., 503-220-2646. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday, 2 pm Sunday, May 20-June 5. $21 advance, $25 at the door.

CONT. on page 42

The Baron of Bridgetown BARON VAUGHN ON NINE YEARS OF THE BRIDGETOWN COMEDY FESTIVAL AND WHY HE KEEPS COMING BACK.

Baron Vaughn might be too big for the Bridgetown Comedy Festival next year. At least that’s what organizers say about the host and creator of Bridgetown’s New Negroes show. If he skips Bridgetown 2017—assuming Bridgetown as we know it does continue, after the festival’s gutsy move from misty May to suncrazed June—it’ll be a first. Vaughn is one of the few people who has performed at every Bridgetown since the first in 2008. Vaughn is having a great year: He stars as Lily Tomlin’s son in Grace and Frankie, had a half-hour special on Comedy Central and was profiled in Vulture. Before returning to Portland, Vaughn talked to WW about his co-host Curtis Cook, Northwest comics moving to Los Angeles and how Portland’s biggest comedy festival has changed in nine years. ENID SPITZ.

WW: Why do you keep coming back to Bridgetown?

Baron Vaughn: I’m trying to institute routines into my life. Bridgetown has become a comedy pilgrimage. I live in L.A., and I have to go to Portland to see my friends from L.A. Plus, it reminds me of my own mortality. Seeing the youth out of Portland, Seattle, Atlanta, Austin, San Francisco—all these great comedy towns, and how people are expressing themselves and changing comedy.

You’re not too busy with other projects?

It’s easy to get distracted by all this career crap. I was talking with Rhea Butcher—who’ll be at Bridgetown, too—and Rhea called me when her spouse, Cameron Esposito, was off filming somewhere else and really wanted to come home but couldn’t find time. Reah said, “I could never be an actor.” But that’s comedy, too. Nobody who wants to be an actor is like, “I can’t wait to not know when I’ll get to go home.” That’s just fake stuff made by people trying to profit off of us.

How has Bridgetown changed since it started?

Bridgetown has created a comedy community—it’s like Bonnaroo was before it sold to Live Nation…I remember Ian Karmel and Ron Funches hanging around at the festival and it was like, “Who are you?” Bridgetown was not the beginning of comedy in Portland, but now Portland competes on a national arena. It’s recognized by L.A. and New York as competition.

BARON VAUGHN

LIEZL ESTIPONA

Most prices listed are for advance ticket sales. At-the-door increases and so-called convenience charges may apply, so it’s best to call ahead.

Why did you decide to start the New Negroes show?

A couple years ago when I saw the lineup, I saw a lot of people of color. Everybody’s very out for themselves. I can’t blame them. Everyone’s trying to pay rent. But that rat race can destroy a sense of community. I wanted to create a place for black comedians to be with each other and spark collaboration and inspiration. It’s important to melt and commune and pass around the Hacky Sack, or play a game of chess.

Are Portland audiences different than L.A. audiences?

L.A. audiences are changing. They’re on one extreme of jaded or stupid, either the dumbest dum-dums you’ve ever seen, or they’ve seen it all and are too cool to laugh. But the people in Portland are shrewd, pretty intelligent, and have a buttload of opinions. There’s an opinion bubble. Like the housing bubble. It’s going to burst, and everyone’s mind will be blown. I’m waiting for the explosion, when it bursts and we all realize that we don’t really know anything.

That is getting really philosophical. It’s a waste of time if it isn’t.

How would you describe your style?

Part philosopher, sociologist, anthropologist. I’m trying to observe my world and report on that justly...On what it means to be an American, which I think means trying to exist in the eye of the storm. I wouldn’t call myself political. But I am black and I have opinions, and to some people that’s the same thing. SEE IT: New Negroes is on the Kill Rock Stars Stage at Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9 pm Friday. $20. Refuge PDX, 116 SE Yamhill St. 8 pm Saturday. $15.

WW’s Picks for Bridgetown

ridgetown is Portland’s biggest annual comedy festival, a four-day smorgasbord of comedy events that take over inner-eastside venues (and, this year, Chinatown’s Siren Theater). Some of the best lines drop at dive-bar after-parties, but these ﬁve scheduled shows are a good bet to start.

Earthquake Hurricane

This local quadruple threat (Curtis Cook, Alex Falcone, Anthony Lopez and Bri Pruett ) hosts one of the city’s best weekly standup nights at Velo Cult bike shop. On Bossanova’s bigger stage, they’re joined by That Guy From That Thing comedian Greg Behrendt, who also co-wrote the selfhelp book He’s Just Not That Into

You, and Bay Area up-and-comer David Gborie, who is booked on some of the fest’s best shows and just made Comedy Central’s Top Comics to Watch list. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St. 8 pm Wednesday, June 1. $15.

It’s Gonna Be Okay

Portland’s own Barbara Holm emcees this packed showcase featuring L.A. heavy hitters Rhea Butcher and Dan Telfer, and Chelsea Lately’s Guy Branum. Austin’s Ella Gale, New York’s Aparna Nancherla, Emma Willmann and Laurie Kilmartin will join Holm, who was named “one of the best things about comedy” by the Comedy Bureau. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St. 8 pm Thursday, June 2. $15.

Rachel Bloom

Bloom does stuﬀ, a lot of stuﬀ. The co-creator and star of Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is headlining Bridgetown in a separately ticked show that’s part concert, part standup. Since going viral with the YouTube music video “Fuck Me, Ray Bradbury,” Bloom has nailed spots on Robot Chicken, Bojack Horseman and shows with less suspicious names, like Very Mallory. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St. 9:30 pm Saturday, June 4. $30.

Unsafe Space

Hosted by comedians Toby Muresianu and Lou Perez, (writers for Real Time With Bill Maher and We the Internet, respectively), this live podcast recording is themed on political correctness and features Baron Vaughn (Grace and Frankie), Bri Pruett (local standup

lady and sex columnist) and a communications professor at Highline College named Teela Foxworth. Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St. 5 pm Sunday, June 5. $15.

Turnt Up with Eliza Skinner

Comedians face oﬀ in series of oneon-one rap battles that are totally freestyle and totally improvised. The audience picks the winner by applause at the end of each round, until only one is left and gets to claim the title of Turnt champion. Competitors include Matt Braunger, Guy Branum, David Gborie, Hutch Harris and Natalie Palamides, and the whip-smart Eliza Skinner hosts. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 7 pm Sunday, June 5. $15.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

PERFORMANCE P AT R I C K W E I S H A M P E L / B L A N K E Y E .T V.

born, California-raised Jobrani has been making jokes about what it’s like to be Middle Eastern in America since the days of George W. Bush. Aladdin Theater. 3017 SE Milwaukee Ave., 503234-9694. 8 pm Saturday, June 4. $39.50.

The Comedy Get Down

Probably the biggest night of big name comedy Portland will see in 2016, featuring two of the Original Kings of Comedy, Cedric the Entertainer and D.L. Hughley; the guy who got Conan’ed by Conan, George Lopez; the comic who told the world about Prince’s prowess on the hardwood, Charlie Murphy; and the Undercover Brother himself, Eddie Griffin. The Comedy Get Down is the kind of show that doesn’t come around very often. Moda Center, 1 N Center Court St., 503-235-8771, 8 pm Saturday, June 4. $65.75-$89.75.

Portland’s Funniest Person Contest Preliminary Round

Deidrie Henry and Demetrius Grosse in A Streetcar Named Desire.

ALSO PLAYING Francesca, Isabella, Margarita on a Cloud

In Carol Triffle’s latest eccentric music-theatre piece, three Southern sisters spill their fame-shame moments, from backstage at a Tiny Miss pageant or accidentally naked on camera. Like a worn-out dollhouse, the set features faded pastels, protruding corners, painted appliances and uncanny doors good for revolving entrances and exits. The Portlandfamous Megan Skye Hale keeps her considerable energy contained for her role, and while exposition drags the play down, its exaggerated physicality and humor earn the applause. JESS DRAKE. Imago Theatre, 17 SE 8th Ave., 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 2 pm Sunday, through June 19. $15-25.

Hawthorne

Action/Adventure’s original crime drama hits the perfect pitch, drawing out the seedy, shadowy side of Portland’s central eastside. Zoë Rudman as Anne Winters has the smarts, the insomnia and the drinking habit of all great sleuths. Androgynous in tailored vest, disheveled button up and chucks, Winters attracts all types: femme fatale (Jade Hobbs), “good cop” (Andy Haftkowycz), corporate gatekeeper (Michael Zimmer) and other cinematic characters who hire, help or haunt the missing persons case. The real mystery turns out to be how to heal from hurt enough to be human. JESS DRAKE. Action/Adventure Theatre, 1050 SE Clinton St. 8 pm ThursdaySunday, May 12-June 4. $15-$18.

Peter and the Starcatcher

Portland Playhouse just ended the run of this zany Disney riff, which packs a zillion plot twists, puns, Three Stoogeslike gags, and staging tricks into Playhouse. When Peter (Nick Ferrucci) meets Wendy’s mother (Jennifer Rowe), the duo battles pubescent awkwardness and the bumbling pirate Black Stache (Isaac Lamb with an epic ‘stache). It’s the biggest spectacle—if not the most nuanced—on any Portland stage right now. Starcatcher’s one fault is its length. But you’re likely to be breathless through most of it, the sight of Lamb doing high kicks as a burly mermaid etched into your retinas. Portland Playhouse, 602 NE Prescott St., 503-488-5822. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday, 2 pm Sundays. Through June 12. $20-$36.

The Skin of Our Teeth

Thornton Wilder’s 1943 Pulitzerwinner is a farcical, fourth-wall-breaking rumination on the endless cycle of human suffering. Each member of the the Antrobus family represents a key aspect of humanity— whether it be the “secrets only known to women” or the roots of anger and war. If all of this sounds a tad convoluted, that’s because it is. The actors (particularly Sara Hennessy’s sassy character, Sabina) hilariously break character throughout the play to let the audience know that they think so too. Still, they forge on, miraculously saved each time by the skin of their teeth.Extra show 2 pm Saturday, June 11. RUSSELL HAUSFELD. Artist’s Repertory Theatre, 1515 SW Morrison St., 503-241-1278. 7:30 pm Wednesday-Saturday; 2 and 7:30 pm Sunday, through June 19. $25.

The Udmurts

The coffee line at intermission was buzzing after a startling bit of bloody Udmurtian horse magic just before the break (Udmurtia is a region of Russia, if you were wondering). Then, a perky Southern lady says: “I’ve just never seen nothing like that before. Two boys kissing!” It’s hard to resist enjoying the lazy seduction of a shining, virginal gay boy by a smoothtalking, trust-fund dude and his fierce, thieving girlfriend in this new play from Defunkt. JESS DRAKE. Defunkt Theatre, 4319 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-974-4938. 7:30 pm ThursdaySunday, May 13-June 18. Pay what you will Thursdays and Sundays, $15-$25

COMEDY & VARIETY Barbara Holm Believes in You

Your life looks less shitty at standup shows in comparison to comedians’ much shittier lives. But positive affirmation is the theme of Barbara Holm’s monthly showcase, where audience members win prizes and get free comedy from locals like Caitlin Weierhauser, Sean Jordan and Kristine Levine. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St. 8 pm every First Wednesday. Free. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St., 2067630. 8 pm. Free.

Maz Jobrani

Maz Jobrani is not a terrorist, but he’s played one on TV, which is true and is the name of his newest show. A founding member of the Axis of Evil Comedy Tour, whose original foursome included Jobrani alongside Egyptian-American Ahmed Ahmed and Palestinian-Americans Aron Kader and Dean Obeidallah, the Tehran-

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Pretty soon, Portland is going to have a new funniest person. But first, a lot of Portland’s funniest people will square off in the Portland’s Funniest Person Competition prelims. With winners decided by audience vote, it’s important for local comedy fans to come out and support their favorites. The opening night of the preliminary round will feature a number of notables including Nariko Ott, Alex Falcone, Adam Pasi, David Mascorro, Seth Johnston and Andrew Kushner. Helium Comedy Club, 1510 SE 9th Ave., 888-643-8669. 7 and 10 pm Tuesday, June 7. $10. 21+.

MORE BRIDGETOWN See wweek.com for love reviews and even more shows. By Mike Acker, Russel Hausfeld and Meryl Williams.

Baked

If you like it dry and nerdy, this interesting lineup—including the new host of Mystery Science Theater 3000, Jonah Ray, and Home Movies and Metalocalypse creator Brendon Small—is doing two shows, just for you. Kill Rock Stars Stage at Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 11-11:59 pm Thursday, 7-8:30 pm Friday, June 2-3. $25.

Bechdel Test

MC Rebecca O’Neal leads this show of long-ish sets by five of the fastest-rising female comics in the industry today: Aparna Nancherla, Alice Wetterlund, Dulce Sloan, Rhea Butcher and Sam Jay. O’Neal is a Chicago-based standup comedian and writer/editor whose work has appeared in Vanity Fair, and on Gawker, Splitsider, Videogum, The Rumpus, and Death and Taxes. MERYL WILLIAMS. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St. 7-8:30 pm Sunday, June 5. $10.

Best In Tent

Check out Geoffrey Asmus’ great butt on Friday or J.P. McDade’s quirky character impressions on Saturday. Either day, you are guaranteed eight comics who’ve topped the tent shows. Bossanova Tent, 910 E Burnside St. 7:30-9 pm Friday, 9:30-11 pm Saturday, June 3-4. $10.

Comedians Without Podcasts

Comedians you can’t download on iTunes, including Alice Wetterlund, Dulce Sloan, Joe Pera, Gabe Dinger, Tony Sam and Devin Field go live with MC Simon Gibson, a Portland-born L.A.-based standup comedian. MERYL WILLIAMS. Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 10-11:30 pm Saturday, June 4. $10.

Competative Erotic Fiction

Bryan Cook’s popular podcast gathers a handful of comics who will compete in two rounds of erotic fan fiction writing based on the suggestions of the audience. This round has writers from The Onion and The Daily Show. Refuge PDX, 116 SE Yamhill St. 9-10:30 pm Friday, June 3. $20.

Control Yourself

JoAnn Schinderle of the All Jane Comedy Festival and a finalist in the 2015 Portland’s Funniest Person contest will host Baron Vaughn, Dulce Sloan, Heather Thomson, Nathan Brannon, David Tveite, Gilbert Lawand and Patrick Susmilch. Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 7-8:30 pm Sunday, June 5. $15.

The Court of “I, Anonymous”

The Merc’s column of anonymous rants and confessions is being staged this year. The most raunchy, uncensored and bizarre submissions will be read aloud and judged by Bri Pruett and her jury of comedians: Greg Behrendt, Curtis Cook and Clare O’Kane. Portland Mercury Stage at Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St. 6-7:30 pm Friday, June 3. $10.

An Evening with Aimee Mann and Ted Leo (and Friends!) Lifelong musicians Aimee Mann and Ted Leo will share the stage with comedians for a night of comedy mixed with music, in case you need a break from strictly comedy acts at Bridgetown. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St. 8-10 pm Friday, June 3. $25.

Gentleman Scumbags with Burns and Brido Gentleman’s hosts are Mike Bridenstine and Mike Burns, the man behind the cult hit Twitter feed @ DadBoner, where he ghost-narrates the life of Karl Welzein from a firstperson perspective. Joining the two Mikes are Solomon Georgio, Bryan Cook, James Fritz, Josh Androsky, Rebecca O’Neal, Matt Braunger and Tone Bell. Trio Club, 909 E Burnside St. 9-10:30 pm Thursday, June 2. $15.

Hey Ladies!

Notably, there are a lot of ladies at Bridgetown this year. The sardonic and smart Lizzy Pilcher celebrates, with Morgan Murphy, Sara Schaefer, Subhah Agarwal, Laura Kightlinger, Carmen Lagala, Mia Jackson and Natalie Palamides. Pilcher might also tell you about her love/hate relationship with everything on the Denny’s menu. Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St. 8-9:30 pm Saturday, June 4, $20.

Hometown Heroes

Rep Rip City pride with locals like Bridgetown co-founder Matt Braunger, 2014’s funniest guys— Steven Wilber, according to Helium’s contest, and Sean Jordan, according to WW’s Funniest Five—and Cali to Portland to Cali comedian Amy Miller. RIP Midnight Ma$$. Refuge PDX, 116 SE Yamhill St. 7-8:30 pm Friday, June 3. $15.

Hound Tall Discussion Series with Moshe Kaasher

Moshe Kasher, an L.A. comedian who’s appeared on Comedy Central’s Drunk History, FX’s The League and Conan, hosts a live version of his popular Hound Tall podcast. Kasher’s discussions usually involve deep cuts with an expert and a panel of comedian non-experts. Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St. 7-8:30 pm Friday, June 3. $15.

In the Club

Is comedy at Trio on your bucket list? We recommend Thursday night, hosted by nerd culture fanatic Richard Douglas Jones, with a lineup including WWs 2014 pick for Funniest Person, Sean Jordan. On Friday, the rugby-playing, engineering-studying Abby Rosenquist will host a series of guests, including writers from The Mindy Project and The Onion. Trio Club, 909 E Burnside St. 7-8:30 pm Thursday-Friday, June 2-3. $10 Thursday, $15 Friday.

Lance Bangs Presents: Come Laugh With Us

Filmmaker and music video director Lance Bangs welcomes guests Jonah Ray, Moshe Kasher, Kyle Mooney,

Steve Agee, David Gborie, Joe Pera, Natalie Palamides and Clare O’Kane, with live music from the Thermals. Bangs is a Pacific Northwest mainstay who directed the second season of the Comedy Central series The Meltdown with Jonah and Kumail and the 2016 Viceland series Flophouse. MERYL WILLIAMS. Revolution Hall, 1300 SE Stark St. 8-9:30 pm Thursday, June 2. $20.

Laura Kightlinger and Friend

Prolific standup comic, IFC writer and Lucky Louie comic Laura Kightlinger has funny friends. She and Kate Willett, Casey James Salengo and Derek Gaines combine to riff off each other—like your average buddy night, but an upgrade. Analog Theater, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 10:30-11:59 pm Friday, June 3. $15.

Lez Get Together

The Bridgetown version of our local Lez Stand Up show has regular host Caitlin Weierhauser and a lineup of guests like Heather Thomson, Sam Jay, Kate Willett, Leah Mansfield, Sabrina Jalees and Whitney Streed. Lez get proud. Bunk Bar, 1028 SE Water Ave. 9-10:30 pm Thursday, June 2. $10.

LOL@MFP

My Father’s Place hosts one of the cheaper events of the fest, with a solid lineup of eight different comedians every night (except Saturday). WW’s pick is Sunday, with Adam Pasi and Caitlin Weierhauser. My Father’s Place, 523 SE Grand Ave., 7:30-9 pm Thursday-Friday, 6:30-8 pm Sunday, June 2, 3 and 5. $10.

New Negroes

Baron Vaughn is back—he’s done all nine years of Bridgetown—with a set of black comics on what it means to be black. “New Negro,” a term that arose during the Harlem Renaissance, describes the outspoken intellectual departure from long-standing racist ideologies. Kill Rock Stars Stage at Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St. 9-10:30 pm Friday, June 3; Refuge PDX, 116 Yamhill St. 8-9:30 pm Saturday, June 4. $20.

Persona

Looking for a little less cynicism and a little more wackiness? Persona invites comedians to come on stage and show off their best characters and impressions for the audience. Portland Mercury Stage at Bossanova Ballroom, 722 E Burnside St. 10-11:30 pm Friday, June 3. $15.

Pep Talk Podcast

A comedic look at our crumbling world with Eddie Pepitone (The Muppets, Old School, Love) and other funny people will be recording a live show with Eliza Skinner at The Siren, which might be Portland’s coolest comedy venue right now. Siren Theater, 315 NW Davis St. 3-4:30 pm Sunday, June 5. $10.

Sounds Better in Analog

Analog hosts Friday host is Rob Haze, who will appear on the next season of House Party on Comedy Central. Saturday’s is Helium Comedy Club’s 2014 Funniest Person in Portland, Steven Wilber. Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 8-9:30 pm FridaySaturday, June 3-4. $10 Friday, $15 Saturday.

Southern Showcase Showcase

Georgian comedian Mia Jackson hosts a showcase stacked with funny people from the South. Jackson, a NickMom Night Out star and semifinalist on Season 9 of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, and will host Abby Rosenquist, Ella Gale, M.K. Paulsen, Tafadzwa Gwaze, Shane Torres, Jason Webb and Tone Bell. Analog Cafe, 720 SE Hawthorne Blvd. 5-6:30 pm Sunday, June 5. $10.

For more Performance listings, visit

LOVE TO HEAR LIVE MUSIC? MUSIC BY THE PEOPLE FOR THE PEOPLE Join Make Music Day PDX to celebrate live performances of music of all genres played at 21 venues around Portland on June 21.

Check out the venues, times, and performing musicians at makemusicdaypdx.org. Media Sponsor: Willamette Week

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Out There

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JENNIFER RABIN. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit show information—including opening and closing dates, gallery address and phone number—at least two weeks in advance to: Visual Arts, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: espitz@wweek.com.

Hidden Narratives

Land Ohne Eltern (Country Without Parents)

Due to economic hardship, it is a common practice for parents in the Republic of Moldova (formerly part of the Soviet Union) to leave their children behind while they seek work in other countries. Photographer Andrea Diefenbach follows some of these parents abroad to document their hard labor. Her series Land Ohne Eltern gives us both sides of the heartbreaking story, by showing images of parents alongside intimate portraits of the children back in Moldova who are being raised by family, friends or, in some cases, no one. Blue Sky Gallery, 122 NW 8th Ave., 503-2250210. Through July 3.

Nothing Lasts Forever

Toronto artist Brian Donnelly paints photorealist portraits of disembodied heads against optimistic backgrounds of cloudless baby blue skies. Once completed, he applies corrosive materials, like turpentine or hand sanitizer, to his subjects’ faces so that their features melt down the canvas in dripping trails of color. He could easily paint them this way from the start, but in the act of destroying something perfect, his work talks to us about loss, letting go, mortality and the inevitability of time. Stephanie Chefas Projects, 305 SE 3rd Ave., Suite 202, 310-990-0702. Through June 4.

Optique

Oldham and Suzanne Opton. Oldham uses four projections screens to create an immersive environment in which she takes us through a black hole and back out again. Peter Campus’ work is meditative in contrast: Two videos of boats tethered to docks depict such little movement that one of them appears, at ﬁrst, to be a still photograph. But stand in front of it awhile and you will see the subtle movement of the water and the shifting of rope lines, reminding us that video can be quietly observational. Opton ﬁlms factory workers in India performing the rote “empty gestures” of their jobs—knob turning, lever pulling—in a captivating video about how well our bodies remember. White Box, 24 NW 1st Ave., 503-4123689. Through June 4.

COURTESY OF JEREMY BOLEN

Four glass artists present work that combines printmaking techniques with kiln-glass, further pushing the boundaries of both processes. Michelle Murillo explores her ancestry and identity in a standout installation comprised of rows and rows of ghostlike pieces of identification—travel documents, driver’s licenses—that are missing the faces of the people to whom they belong. Each was made by screenprinting glass powder and then kiln-firing it, resulting in objects so fragile, they look like they might dissolve if you touched them. Bullseye Projects, 300 NW 13th Ave., 503-227-0222. Through June 18.

White Box is devoting its three galleries to three diﬀerent video shows from artists Peter Campus, Julia

Printmaker Alyson Provax is interested in “how we approach that which we do not know.” In Out There, Wolﬀ Gallery’s second exhibition, Provax uses monotype, collage and the experimental letterpress techniques she is known for to explore the mysteries of the universe. In one piece, the artist prints the phrase “I felt the sound more than heard it,” and repeats it diagonally across the paper, like a mechanical glitch that conveys the faded echo of someone’s story about a UFO encounter. Wolﬀ Gallery, 618 NW Glisan St., Suite R1, 971-4131340. Through July 3.

Reactive Matters

This might be the first time you see a photo show in which one of the photographers never touched a camera. Newspace’s thoughtful exhibition, Reactive Matters, features the work of three photographers about the effect of nuclear energy on our environment. Shimpei Takeda exposes photo-sensitive paper to soil samples from Fukushima, capturing latent images of radioactivity that look like the night sky—his camera nowhere in sight. Abbey Hepner photographs nuclear waste facilities using a vanished processing technique involving uranium that lends an acid-orange cast to her images. Jeremy Bolen buried his film near nuclear reactors before unearthing it to document the surrounding landscapes. The work of these three artists is a powerful testament to conceptual photography. Newspace Center for Photography, 1632 SE 10th Ave., 503-963-1935. Through July 23.

Stupid Man

Ty Ennis’ series of grayscale paintings are rough and loose. Images of a heron, a cowboy in shadow and a man skinJackpile Mine #3 by Jeremy Bolen, ning a deer are renpart of Reactive Matters dered with few assertive brush strokes, conveying worlds with little gesture. With Stupid Man , Ennis set out to make a body of work that Artist Robert Schlegel and his son would return him to an earlier time— Rob Schlegel, a poet, collaborated on when he first started painting—with a series of visual and textual works fewer materials, expectations and on paper. Using dictionary pages as obligations. The simplicity, joy and his canvas, the elder Schlegel drew freedom of that time are evident in acrylic and charcoal ﬁgures against the work, folded in with autobioa wordy background that his son graphical references to his life as scoured for the building blocks of his a new father (think Looney Tunes poems. The resulting work, shown as characters). He successfully uses limited-edition archival prints, shows the visual language and techniques form interrupted by language and lanof youth to question the expectaguage obscured by form, causing us tions and obligations of adulthood. to look at both more critically and Nationale, 3360 SE Division St., 503with greater curiosity. Roll-Up Photo 477-9786. Through June 18. Studio + Gallery, 1715 SE Spokane St., 503-267-5835. Through June 30.

Or Fact a Formal Treatment

Tooth & Claw

COURTESY OF TY ENNIS

The front gallery of Jeffrey Thomas Fine Art is teeming with life. Cross sections of tree trucks hang on the far wall. Large steel carbon chains wait to be stepped over. A dark form on a white canvas could be a taproot or a dendrite. Artist and designer Brian Borrello uses wholly unnatural materials like fiberglass, epoxy and motor oil to create a series of sculptures and paintings that represent the building blocks of life and make a powerful statement about man’s relationship to and effect on the natural world. Jeffrey Thomas Fine Art, 2219 NW Raleigh St., 503-544-3449. Through June 18.

Ty Ennis’ Stupid Man is at Nationale. 44

C O U R T E S Y O F W E N DY S WA R T Z

VISUAL ARTS

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

For more Visual Arts listings, visit

STUMPS IN TOWN: Scapes/Bulges.

REVIEW

Wall-Hung Bulges There is something enormously satisfying about tools because they remind us that we are human. We have thumbs! We can build things! Emily Bixler’s sculpture series Scapes/Bulges, on display at Stumptown, calls on the spirit of hand tools, appealing to our sense of functional beauty. Most of the medium-scale, wall-hung pieces look like objects you would find at a stable or on a dock. Brushes with animal hair bristles, some burly and some exquisitely delicate, could be used to groom a horse or lay gold leaf. Bixler’s wooden handles—a couple of which have a live edge—are sanded with care to bring out the luminous glory of different grains. In many of her pieces, Bixler winds gray thread of different gradients around braided rope, the type you would use to anchor a boat. The natural sheen of the thread highlights the undulations of the rope, hinting at its original purpose while obscuring it completely. Sometimes the rope is showcased on its own, draped over wall anchors as a study in symmetry and asymmetry, while other times the rope travels through pieces of wood, creating loops that might serve as their own handles. I am sitting at Stumptown as I write this, surrounded by Bixler’s work. Two women have just walked in, and one exclaims to the other, “Cool tools!” As she sits down, she manhandles the piece that hangs above their table, combing her fingers through its bristles. She hasn’t figured out yet that these are sculptures. Or she doesn’t care. Bixler’s pieces have a tactile quality that makes you want to take them off the wall and hold them. Scapes/Bulges could easily be mistaken for a craft show because the objects appear functional. They aren’t. They echo the forms of utility while remaining entirely aesthetic, keeping them in the realm of art. It should be noted that the two most successful sculpture shows of late have been in marginal spaces (Shelby Davis’ Inventing Problems and Congratulating Myself for Solving Them at Clackamas Community College, and this one, in a coffee shop). Galleries often shy away from 3-D work because it is more difficult to sell, but some of the difficulty is due to the galleries’ predilection for showing inaccessible sculptures that no one can relate to. Scapes/ Bulges is an example of a sculpture show that anyone can appreciate, without explanation. JENNIFER RABIN.

Portland’s best sculpture shows aren’t in its galleries.

SEE IT: Scapes/Bulges is at Stumptown Coﬀee Roasters, 4525 SE Division St., 503-230-7702. Through June 8.

BOOKS = WW Pick. Highly recommended. By JAMES HELMSWORTH. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, submit lecture or reading information at least two weeks in advance to: WORDS, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: words@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 1 Steve Hamilton

Steve Hamilton has won two Edgar Awards—the top prize in mystery writing—and several more for the Alex McKnight series. His latest, The Second Life of Nick Mason, follows a guy that gets out of prison early, but with a catch: he must serve as a drug kingpin’s errand boy. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 800-878-7323. 7 pm. Free.

ings in St. Johns and at the downtown Borders (remember those?) for years. His latest collection is called Everyone in This Movie Gets Paid. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 4 pm. Free.

MONDAY, JUNE 6 Power Games: A Political History of the Olympics

The Olympics have always been corrupt. They were initially run exclusively by monarchs, they had a brief affair with fascism in the ’30s and they banned the guys who did the Black Power salute at the podium in ’68 from ever competing again. In his new book, Pacific University professor and former U.S. Olympic soccer player Jules Boykoff explores the political history of the Games. Powell’s Books

on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

The Mirror Test: America at War in Iraq and Afghanistan

There’s a thing in recovery from a severe facial wound called the mirror test. The injured party must look themselves in the mirror to see what their face looks like after the incident and grow accustomed to it. In The Mirror Test: America at War in Afghanistan and Iraq, former U.S. State Department employee J. Kael Weston argues that it’s time for America’s mirror test, a national look in the mirror about our wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

For more Books listings, visit

REVIEW

THURSDAY, JUNE 2 Justin Cronin

OK, we’ve got vampire books and zombie apocalypse books, but what about vampire apocalypse books? In his Passage trilogy, Justin Cronin told just that story. In 2016, a government-made virus leaves its victims bloodsucking superhumans. The ﬁnal installment in the series, The City of Mirrors, is coming out this year. He’ll be speaking with Portland’s own Daniel H. Wilson, author of Robocalypse and How to Survive a Robot Uprising. Powell’s Books at Cedar Hills Crossing, 3415 SW Cedar Hills Blvd., Beaverton, 800-878-7323. 7 pm. Free.

Jonathan Evison

This Is Your Life, Harriet Chance! is a book modeled on the old reality show that collected photos and familial testimonials to create a retrospective of a person’s life. Seventy-eight-year-old Harriet Chance’s life seems rather dull, until she unexpectedly wins a cruise that her husband may have been planning to take with someone else, and Evison takes us on a retrospective of hers. It’s the third book by Jonathan Evison, who used to be in a band with some of the dudes from Soundgarden and Pearl Jam. Powell’s Books on Hawthorne, 3723 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

We Are As Gods

Back in the late ’60s and into the ’70s, moving onto a farm was quite the hip move among the young and enlightened—indeed, a certain Brooklynite named Bernard Sanders was part of that very movement. As were the parents of Kate Daloz, who, in her book We Are As Gods, tells the story of these commune farms, their triumphs (organic produce), and their failures (not protecting themselves against roving gangs of bikers). Reading Frenzy, 3628 N Mississippi Ave., 971-271-8044. 7 pm. Free.

FRIDAY, JUNE 3 The New Mutants

X-Men has always been a story about civil rights: Professor X’s X-Men are the pluralists, calling for multiculturalism, while Magneto and his cronies are the nationalists, calling for domination and destruction of the humans. In The New Mutants, Ramzi Fawaz uses queer theory to discuss the X-Men, as well as similarly complex dynamics that occurred in the comics of the ’60s, as superheroes morphed from buﬀ white dudes into “mutants.” Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 800-878-7323. 7:30 pm. Free.

SUNDAY, JUNE 5 Dan Raphael

Dan Raphael has been a force of nature in Oregon poetry. Since arriving in Portland in 1977, he’s released 18 poetry collections, read at Wordstock, the Portland Jazz Festival and Bumbershoot, and organized read-

Th e W

Lindy West, SHRILL

Store k e e W e illamett

TreaT

yourself

wiTh a

If you searched for Lindy West on the web a couple years ago, Google autofilled “Lindy West rape jokes.” It’s the kind of internet keyword association we’ve all been hoping for since birth. As a writer for The Guardian, Seattle’s The Stranger and especially Jezebel, West has used her wit and clarity to challenge preconceptions on sensitive issues like getting an abortion or comedians telling rape jokes. She has received death threats in return. It turns out people hate it when women say rape jokes aren’t funny. “I’ll give up my rape jokes when you pry them, crumpled, from my cold, dead hands!” shouted every rape-joking comic on the planet. West’s new memoir, Shrill: Notes From a Loud Woman (Hachette Books, 272 pages, $26), continues to exemplify everything that people hate about feminism: It’s articulate, thoughtful, challenging, funny, vulnerable and as shrill as any warrior princess battle cry. Constructed as a chronological series of essays—for example, “You’re So Brave for Wearing Clothes and Not Hating Yourself!”—it reads like a guidebook on how to start your own uprising and be hilarious while doing it. The book takes us on West’s painful journey from a childhood spent trying to be invisible—her only exposure to fat female role models was Miss Piggy, Ursula the sea witch and the sexual tree from The Last Unicorn—to a career as an outspoken, talented writer. It’s also one of the funniest feminist memoirs I’ve ever read. (Hey, man, that’s not funny.) West’s voice grows louder, funnier and more articulate as her indignation grows. Tasked with defending her experience and even her existence as a fat woman in our society, she takes on airlines, internet trolls and her former editor Dan Savage. “Do you really want millions of teenage girls to feel like they’re trapped in unsightly lard prisons that are ruining their lives?” she asks Savage in response to his essay advocating a ban on “fat marriage.” It’s hard to stand up to hate and violence when people want to kill you for doing so, but West doesn’t back down. Not apologizing for who you are is a bold and terrifying act. I can relate—I once apologized to a bag of garbage I tripped over. As I was reading this book, I obsessed over how I might get it into the hands of all of the deeply uninformed people I felt really ought to curl up with a juicy, comic feminist memoir. But Shrill isn’t really for people who need to be schooled in how to treat others; it’s for those who might need a little coaching in how to treat themselves. KIRSTEN KUPPENBENDER.

GarDen MonsTers $5 off! $20 value for $15

GO: Lindy West appears at Powell’s City of Books, 1005 W Burnside St., 503-228-4651, on Tuesday, June 7. 7:30 pm. Free.

wweek.com/dubdubdeals

DubDubDeal!

We’ve got plenty of affordable offers to start the year off right. Find certificate discounts to some of your favorite Portland restaurants like Garden Monster.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

= WW Pick. Highly recommended. Editor: ENID SPITZ. TO BE CONSIDERED FOR LISTINGS, send screening information at least two weeks in advance to Screen, WW, 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210. Email: espitz@wweek.com. Fax: 243-1115.

OPENING THIS WEEK L’Attesa

C- If you can make it through a painful introduction of sad people quietly staring past the camera, you will be treated to some impressive camera work. Amid the understated drama that makes up most of L’Attesa, there are beautiful underwater shots as young Lou de Laâge ascends from the depths of a swimming hole, and striking views of the large manor where the story takes place. While visually impressive, L’Attesa struggles to earn your attention, despite Juliette Binoche starring and the assistant director of The Great Beauty, Piero Messina, behind the lens. The story—a mother grieving her son’s death and unable to break the news to his girlfriend—might be better in the form of a book. There, you could get inside characters’ heads more easily, as opposed to watching a series of silent shots of characters looking depressed. NR. RUSSELL HAUSFELD. Fox Tower.

Me Before You

Cue predictable ’tween waterworks and Pinterest boards of hot guys in wheelchairs. Our heroine is Louisa, a hardworking ingenue who always puts herself last, especially when it comes to being caregiver for the gorgeous and wealthy Will Traynor. Alas, princely Will was paralyzed in a tragic accident. The tears well, the violins soar, “hearts change in ways neither one could have imagined.” Screened after deadline. See wweek.com for Amy Wolfe’s review. PG-13. Bridgeport, City Center, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Tigard, Vancouver.

Popstar

From the minds that brought you loving parodies of Auto-Tuned debauchery, like “I’m on a Boat” and “Dick in a Box,” Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping is the sophomore ﬁlm from the Lonely Island (following up 2007’s Hot Rod). Starring Andy Samberg as Bieber caricature Conner4Real, it will doubtless dole out more cameos than you can shake a two-hour SNL Digital Short at, a culturally tardy embrace of mockumentary and, just maybe, a plot. Screened after deadline; see wweek. com for Chance Solem-Pfeifer’s review. R. Vancouver.

Presenting Princess Shaw

A Samantha Montgomery (aka Princess

Shaw) is a struggling, middle-aged singer-songwriter searching for her big break. Ophir Kutiel (aka Kutiman) is an Israeli YouTube star who makes viral video mashups unbeknownst to the videos’ stars. When Kutiman uses Princess Shaw’s original songs as the cornerstone of his next masterpiece, it’s the beginning of an unlikely but delightful partnership. Cutting between professional footage and pre-existing YouTube clips, this documentary deals with issues of poverty, sexual assault and the persistence of hope. The most intimate moments come from cellphone footage Shaw uploaded in which she shares her darkest moments with a seemingly unsympathetic internet. While the ﬁlm’s conclusion is intentionally vague, Shaw’s resilience throughout the documentary makes it impossible not to feel inspired. R. CURTIS COOK. Hollywood.

STILL SHOWING 10 Cloverfield Lane

C+ The motto of J.J. Abrams’ latest

thriller is, basically, don’t text and drive.

C O U R T E S Y O F L A U R E N Z F O U N DAT I O N

MOVIES Also, don’t break up with your fiance, or else you’ll get in a terrible car accident, be abducted by a Lolita-inspired murderer and watch your whole family die in the alien apocalypse—in one night. 10 Cloverfield Lane falls victim to the usual thriller clichés: It doesn’t come close to passing the Bechdel test and contains numerous gratuitous shots of Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) in her underwear, a cheap thriller soundtrack and, of course, aliens. Despite the clichés, Abrams shows for the first hour and 20 minutes that he’s almost capable of a smart psychological thriller. PG-13. SOPHIA JUNE. Academy, Avalon, Laurelhurst, Valley, Vancouver.

Alice Through the Looking Glass

D Lewis Carroll’s Through the LookingGlass is a classic, the birthplace of some of our favorite characters in Disney’s animated Alice, like the Walrus and the Carpenter, and some who didn’t make the cut, like the Jabberwock. Unfortunately for Alice Through the Looking Glass, the Jabberwock died in the first film of this live-action series. What you’re left with is a tale of time travel and daddy issues in which the only connection to the source material is that Alice walks through a mirror. Johnny Depp’s quirky Mad Hatter is sad. He found a hat, you see. A hat he made for his dad. And so it’s up to Alice (Mia Wasikowska), who exists solely to solve all of Wonderland’s problems, to travel back in time and find out what happened to Hatter’s dad. Director James Bobin has turned down the quirk from Tim Burton’s atrocious predecessor— viewers are mercifully spared another Johnny Depp dance number—but the basic problems remain. Alice is a bland action hero. Helena Bonham Carter’s Red Queen is ear-piercingly obnoxious. Depp’s Mad Hatter just plain sucks. Time (Sacha Baron Cohen, with a thick German accent) provides an occasional laugh here and there, but they’re surrounded by a mess of lame attempts at wit, faux profundity and unearned emotional resolutions. It’s bad, and everyone involved should feel bad. PG. JOHN LOCANTHI. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, St. Johns 1 & 2, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Angry Birds Movie

Perhaps the greatest Finnish-American collaboration this decade is this movie based on a game based on anger management therapy and avian ﬂu. When green pigs take over Red’s island paradise, the vitriolic bird and his buddies take matters into their own hands. Birds don’t have hands, but these do have eyebrows to rival Scorsese’s. PG. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Milwaukie, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice

D Batman and Superman are ﬁghting, and it’s hard to choose a side. The new Warner Bros. Superman is classically boring, overpowered and out of place in the 21st century. Batman, on the other hand, has been reinvented as a huge dickhead. Played by Ben Aﬄeck with a characteristic lack of gravitas, Batman walks around in a silly metal suit killing people. You know how Batman never kills people? He does now. Even when he doesn’t have to. He even assigns himself the task of killing Superman because, you know, “he might be bad later.” With nobody to root for, BvS:DoJ is just an unconscionably long slugfest simultaneously attempting too much and accomplishing almost nothing. Despite the rare bright spots—like Jesse Eisenberg’s intriguingly outlandish Lex Luthor and Amy Adams as a strong international war reporter version of Lois Lane—I left feeling bored and slightly concussed from giant men punching each other into buildings for no reason. PG-13. ALEX FALCONE. Academy, Avalon, Jubitz, Valley, Vancouver.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

BEAUTY SHOT: River of Fundament.

REVIEW

Shit Cycle RIVER OF FUNDAMENT IS A VERY UN-FUN FILM. BY N ATHA N CA R SON

503-243-2122

Ten minutes into the nearly six-hour River of Fundament film cycle, I began to wonder when it would end. The feeling never abated. Director Matthew Barney made his name with the high-concept Cremaster Cycle, which, though highly abstract, managed to reward viewers with ghastly beauty and chic juxtapositions. Barney’s new series wallows in cognoscenti fetishizing of shit and piss. River of Fundament is three films interwoven to create a mythic tapestry largely based on Norman Mailer’s Ancient Evenings and its fascination with Egyptian deities. Barney stages a wake for Mailer in a re-creation of the deceased author’s apartment, stocked with disparate faces like Maggie Gyllenhaal and Larry Holmes. Why we would want to see Paul Giamatti getting his knob polished under the dinner table is a head scratcher. The film is not so much offensive or insulting as it is excruciating. Two characters from Cremaster recur here. The male, born from base-

A Bigger Splash

B+ Luxuriate in the sexiness of direc-

tor Luca Guadagnino’s hypersensual images of island love, before diving into the waves of its characters’ lives, fraught with regret and lies. A rock star (Tilda Swinton) and her boyfriend vacation on the island of Pantelleria, sunbathing and having sex in silence. Unexpectedly crashing the party is Ralph Fiennes as a wild, hard-living music producer intent on winning back the rock star he palmed off years ago on her current lover. While Guadagnino’s I Am Love (2009) established him as an auteur of visual decadence and Swinton his Pygmalion-like muse, in Splash, Fiennes is the life of the film. He delivers a performance of such energy that it threatens to overtake Guadagnino’s meditative beauties. The countrysides filled with swimming pools, dinner parties and nude sunbathing are photographed with an atmospheric attention to detail that lends to the authenticity of being there. Dakota Johnson is more erotic here than she

ment sewage, rises from the muck and finds a restroom. Good, we sigh, he’s going to clean himself up. Wrong. Instead he lifts the toilet seat, withdraws a single turd, and ceremonially wraps it in gold foil. Seconds later, a shit god stands before him, its cock wrapped in gold foil. The god bends over its fecal worshipper and has its way from behind. Some memorable scenes nod toward Barney’s better work. In one, a singing policewoman on a river barge pours a bag of white snakes into a gleaming muscle-car engine. This is what we like. This is what we want. Beauty shots of a buzzard perched atop a police car, a mallet striking a giant drum skin bearing the Chrysler logo, bubbling tar pits that recall Pink Floyd at Pompeii. A man saws open a cow carcass, withdraws its dead calf, then climbs inside. The Empire Strikes Back did this scene in 1980, but it didn’t make us feel like we needed to rush for a tetanus shot. Plenty of people have long attention spans, or the stomach for extreme gratuity. But what about entertainment? The tiny rewards in this film cycle are too few. No amount of alchemy, Debbie Harry cameos, children banging on toy instruments, or rim jobs can save it from being a discomfort. The waste flowing down the River of Fundament is symbolic of your time. D- SEE IT: River of Fundament plays June 3-5 at the NW Film Center’s Whitsell Auditorium.

was in Fifty Shades of Grey, and Swinton embodies the Bowie-like rock star in a believable performance that relies solely on facial expressions and body language. While the ﬁlm is billed as a suspenseful, erotic thriller, it’s more of a character study that builds to a surprising climax. Then, the ﬁlm dances around, like Fiennes frolicking to the Rolling Stones’ “Emotional Rescue” in one of the most memorable scenes. R. EZRA JOHNSON-GREENOUGH. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Fox Tower.

The Boss

B- This time, McCarthy stars as Michelle Darnell, a self-made tycoon whose conﬁdence is rivaled only by the height of her turtlenecks. R. Academy, Kennedy School, Valley, Vancouver.

Captain America: Civil War

A- Captain America: Civil War,

though, is proof you can jam pretty much every superhero in your roster

into one ﬁlm and still let individuals shine. In pitting team Iron Man (Robert Downey Jr.) against Team Cap (Chris Evans) over a suspiciously fascist registration law for “enhanced humans,” directors Joe and Anthony Russo could have just put the heroes in a big-ass sandbox and let them duke it out. They do that, and it’s spectacular. But there’s nothing redundant in the action here, from a Bourne-esque opening chase to closecombat thrills reminiscent of The Raid to a surprisingly subdued and heartfelt ﬁnale. The Russos have heard your complaints about universe-building at the expense of story. Civil War is fun. It’s smart. It’s coherent. And, most importantly, it allows its heart to beat strongly amid the chaos. Your move, DC. PG-13. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Tigard, Vancouver.

Deadpool

unpredictable, shocking, grisly and really fun. PG-13. EZRA JOHNSONGREENOUGH. Hollywood.

B Within the ﬁrst 10 minutes.

the titular “merc with the mouth” slaughters a baker’s dozen of goons to a soundtrack of “Shoop,” breaks the fourth wall by talking to the audience, punches multiple scrotums, drops more f-bombs than Tony Montana and takes a bullet directly up the butthole while giggling about it. Deadpool doesn’t reinvent the wheel. But it does teabag it. And sometimes that’s enough. R. AP KRYZA. Academy, Avalon, Joy, Jubitz, Kennedy School, Laurelhurst, Valley, Vancouver.

D Undistinguishable from its coun-

terparts, Part 1 ’s excessively dull proceedings are punctuated by generic action scenes in which the Bureau of Genetic Welfare uses a bunch of weirdo army shit to kidnap little kids and wipe their brains clean. PG-13. MIKE GALLUCCI. Valley, Vancouver.

Everybody Wants Some!!

A- Richard Linklater’s newest

film doesn’t have a plot. But you’ll hardly realize it and you probably won’t care. The filmmaker who stunned the world with Boyhood’ brings his “fuck it” attitude to a film about a college baseball team in 1980s Texas. R. SOPHIA JUNE. Fox Tower, Vancouver.

The Big Lebowski combines a zany caper, a communist plot, ’50s studio politics and a touching story about one man’s calling in life into a cohesive, lighthearted and quipheavy comedy. It’s a neat package like only the Coen brothers can tie up. PG-13. JOHN LOCANTHI. Laurelhurst.

CONT. on page 48

FEATURE

#WWEEK

Eye in the Sky

C+ The year’s ﬁrst movie on the ethics of drones and the last ﬁlm featuring Alan Rickman, misses its mark. British Col. Katherine Powell (Helen Mirren) tracks infamous terrorists to a house in Nairobi, Kenya. The plot arc is more of a plot sine wave, with the withering Lt. Gen. Frank Benson (Rickman as a wandless Professor Snape in olive drab) throwing up his hands and staring down the people who just refuse to blow things up already. R. ZACH MIDDLETON. Living Room Theaters.

Francofonia

B- Patience helps where fine art is concerned, and Aleksandr Sokurov’s documentary about the Louvre is no different. Feeding history and war through the lens of art, Sokurov gives us a platter of food for thought. After the first 10 minutes, which is a slogging slideshow of low-quality images, we meet the men who saved Paris’ art from German occupation and learn about a period when the Louvre was Le Musée Napoléon to house Napoleon Bonaparte’s spoils of war. NR. RUSSELL HAUSFELD. Laurelhurst.

Gods of Egypt

D It’s ancient Egypt like you’ve never seen it before: bigger, shinier and chock-full of deities punching each other. This is Egypt! PG-13. Vancouver.

Green Room

B+ Patrick Stewart plays the big

bad leader of a backwoods gang of white supremacists. The punkrock band that falls into his clutches is loosely led by Anton Yelchin (Scotty in the new Star Trek ﬁlms), and the band is on an unsuccessful tour, taking a detour to play a paying gig at a neo-Nazi compound. There, the band witnesses a murder that these guys won’t let them walk away from. The characters on both sides are loosely drawn but smart enough not to make stupid decisions, which makes the delay of action last longer than expected. Like Akira Kurosawa, Saulnier ﬁnds the anticipation of violence more cinematic than its outcome, which are brief but gratuitous acts that leave a stain. The outcomes are

B Doris is a whip-smart comedy that pokes fun at the ultra-curated youthful lifestyle, while avoiding the recent trope of seniors ﬁnding a place amid the nostalgic fascination of millennials. You can almost feel John trying not to laugh as he oﬀers custom-blended artisanal cocktails to Doris during Friendsgiving at his place. PG-13. LAUREN TERRY. Living Room Theaters.

C O U R T E S Y O F P O R T L A N D H O R R O R F I L M F E S T I VA L

The Divergent Series: Allegiant, Part 1

Hail, Caesar!

B+ The Coens’ funniest ﬁlm since

Hello, My Name is Doris

NEVER MISS A BEAT.

OFF THE FESIVAL CIRCUIT: Daylight’s End.

What Type of Horror Fan Are You?

To outsiders, the term “horror fan” is a general qualifier. Truth is, there are dozens of subspecies. Vampire fans and zombie lovers both flock to the undead, but there are huge differences between emo bloodsuckers and shambling corpses. Ghosts? Are they trying to solve a mystery or make you shit yourself to death? Gorehounds can be sliced into more types than a slutty prom queen in the ’80s, from torture porn addicts to camp lovers. Like the gangs of The Warriors, each horror tribe is unique. They’re loyal, extreme and seldom occupy the same turf. And in that belabored analogy, Gwen and Brian Callahan are seeking to be the Cyrus figure that unites them. This week, the local horror luminaries launch the Portland Horror Film Festival, an indie scarefest that embraces all horror styles and is the first fest of new works to hit Portland. The international lineup includes shorts, festival award winners and Northwest premieres, like the Lance Henriksen apocalyptic thriller Daylight’s End that is Thursday’s headlining feature. Then there’s a masterfully crafted little-girl-versus-evil-cookie-jar short Kookie and the Spanish bedtime story Hada, the kind of short that seems designed as an audition tape for a Guillermo del Toro production. Daddy Dearest is a surprisingly nasty time-travel oddity directed by 10-year-old Fiona Fright, from a script she wrote at age 5. “Most of these directors are putting stuff into film festivals, and once they make the rounds you never see the films again,” says Gwen Callahan, who also runs the Zompire and H.P. Lovecraft fests. It’s another step toward Portland becoming a more unified film town in a year that has also included Living Dead Con, the area’s first full-blown, all-inclusive horror convention. Between the two events, the expansion of the Lovecraft Bar and more niche fests like the Hardcore Film Fest making their presence known, we’re one step closer to Portland becoming the fright town it’s always threatened to be. “It is a horror town, but it’s sometimes challenging to shake people out of their everyday routines,” says Callahan. “It takes a while, a little bit of repetition, to set in. If you’re not looking for these things, they might not come and hit you across the face.” Consider yourself smacked in the jaw. AP KRYZA.

Portland gets its ﬁrst festival of new horrors.

SEE IT: The Portland Horror Film Fest is June 1-2 at the Hollywood Theatre, portlandhorrorﬁlmfestival.com. $20 day pass.

@WillametteWeek

WWEEK.COM WWEEK.COM

@wweek

WWEEK.COM WWEEK.COM WWEEK.COM

@WillametteWeek

Street P.21 Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

COURTESY OF UNIVERSAL PICTURES

MOVIES

STA RTS FRI DAY JUN E3 RD

BEER WINE PIZZA 4 SCREENS LAURELHURSTTHEATER.COM

2735 E BurnsidE st • (503-232-5511) • LaurELhurstthEatEr.com

POPSTAR: NEVER STOP NEVER STOPPING

The Huntsman: Winter’s War

B It’s been called an unneces-

sary sequel. And it may be, but as a steadfast lover of swords and sorcery films, I must steadfastly protect it like the Citadel Guards of Gondor. This sequel functions as both a prequel and sequel to the first film, and it actually does a competent job of completely leaving out Snow White. The thing is, Kristen Stewart as Snow White was the worst thing about the first film. She functioned almost solely as a lightly emoting MacGuffin with too much screen time. Snow White’s absence is more than made up for by a very game Jessica Chastain as the huntsman’s feisty partner, who is a lot of fun as a badass warrior, and Chris Hemsworth does Hemsworth well as the over-cocky, macho title character. Compared to similar genre entries recently, like The Last Witch Hunter, 47 Ronin and Seventh Son, it’s practically a masterpiece, and if I was 13 years old, it might be my favorite film. PG-13. EZRA JOHNSON-GREENOUGH. City Center, Tigard.

Keanu

B- The most troubling things about Keanu are also the best things about it. The movie is named after the adorable escaped pet of a Mexican drug lord, and the poster is of said kitten, but the ﬁlm’s real draw is clear: Jordan Peele and Keegan-Michael Key, the comedy duo from the gone-too-soon sketch show Key and Peele and the notgone-soon-enough MADtv. Key (the bald, tall one) plays neurotic family man Clarence, while Peele plays Relle, his desperate, recently dumped cousin. Relle ﬁnds Keanu, only to have the cat stolen in a Lebowskian drug mixup. It’s essentially a movie extrapolation of that bit about “White Sounding Black Guys,” which leads to some hilarious moments. At the same time, it’s a skinny framework for carrying a movie. R. JAMES HELMSWORTH. Fox Tower, Lloyd.

The Lobster

C The Lobster is one of those dystopian sci-ﬁ movies that needs to spend the ﬁrst 30 minutes laying

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

down the ground rules of the setting. David (Colin Farrell) is single, which is outlawed, so he goes to a singles retreat. But there is one catch: If you don’t ﬁnd a mate within 60 days, you will be turned into an animal. On the plus side, you get to pick your animal. David chooses the lobster. Interesting concept, but this vision of the future mostly involves Farrell, John C. Reilly, Rachel Weisz and the rest of cast lurching through their lines in a dull, passionless monotone. When this Greco-Irish feature screened at the Portland International Film Festival in February, it had more star power than almost anything on the roster. Now, it’s Colin Farrell as a lobster. R. JOHN LOCANTHI. Bridgeport, Cinema 21.

Love & Friendship

B+ To call this adaptation of Jane Austen’s early novella Lady Susan “a breath of fresh air” would not do justice to director Whit Stillman’s vicious comedy of manners. Kate Beckinsale stars as Lady Susan Vernon, an accomplished ﬂirt and recent widow who guilts her sister-in-law into hosting her and then brings a maelstrom of drama into the household, mainly in the form of would-be suitors and a runaway daughter. Lady Susan may have no shame, but Beckinsale plays up her character’s propriety, always pronouncing her witty, backhanded comments with a composed pout. Anything besides another Pride and Prejudice remake would feel radical, but Stillman manages to play with the text’s catty eloquence in a modern way, reminding us of Austen’s audacity and sense of humor, as well as why this author has made us blush for centuries. R. LAUREN TERRY. Bridgeport, City Center, Clackamas, Fox Tower.

The Man Who Knew Infinity

C+ Indian mathematician and autodidact Srinivasa Ramanujan (Dev Patel) struggles through racism and cultural bigotry along his way to solving the secrets of fancy theorems with formally trained English mathematician G.H. Hardy (Jeremy Irons) in writer-director Matt Brown’s second feature ﬁlm. While math may be a glorious concept that binds us all to the fabric of the

universe, chalkboards full of algorithms are not particularly cinematic. PG-13. CURTIS COOK. Cedar Hills, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Tigard.

The Meddler

C Just as her thick eyeglasses turn her brown eyes into saucers, Susan Sarandon magnifies all angles of her worrywart mother character, the titular Meddler. From writer-director Lorene Scafaria (Nick & Norah’s Infinite Playlist), the script’s bones are a meaningful reversal of motherdaughter grief and recovery, but they’re forced to support Blues Traveler cameos, a weed-eating gag and a clique of Angeleno bridesmaids. Like a daughter to her prying mother, the film should toss up a palm to broad comedy tropes and ask to live its life. PG-13. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Fox Tower, Hollywood.

Miles Ahead

B Fans looking for a solely reverent portrait of Miles Davis won’t get it in Miles Ahead, the new, loosely biographical ﬁlm on the jazz legend. Instead, Don Cheadle, who wrote, produced, directed and stars in the ﬁlm, delivers a more complete picture of Davis as a groundbreaking musician who was also an abusive drug addict. R. SOPHIA JUNE. Academy, Laurelhurst.

Money Monster

C- George Clooney stars as a ﬁnancial TV show host in the vein of Mad Money’s Jim Cramer, with Julia Roberts as his capable director and Jack O’Connell as the gunman who takes the studio hostage during a live broadcast. The gunman, an average joe seeking revenge for the savings he lost when Clooney’s character promoted bad stocks, is fed up with the 1 percent screwing the little guy. Like a good Bernie Bro, he’s out to expose it all. But like Jon Snow, he knows nothing, and the plot devolves into an unbelievably absurd investigation into the nefarious management of a stock that went tits up, treating the audience like the same fools the rich and powerful think we are. R. EZRA JOHNSONGREENOUGH. Bridgeport, Cedar

Neighbors 2: Sorority Rising

B- Following classic stories of friendship and sexual fumbles like Harold & Kumar and Revenge of the Nerds, Neighbors 2 is a dumb comedy that captures freshman year 2016 from a feminine perspective. Continuing the story of cool parents Seth Rogen and Rose Byrne, and their poor decision to live so close to campus, the focus shifts toward the newly established anti-sorority on the block, headed by Chloë Grace Moretz. Nicholas Stoller returns to write and direct this sequel, making smart use of millennial ineptitude and letting the comedic tone get weirder. Zac Efron’s perma-bro persona, Teddy, is now a hilariously tragic figure as the oldest employee at Abercrombie & Fitch, at one point slurping baby food shirtless while asking to crash at Rogen’s. Ten seconds into Teddy’s speech about the integrity of Greek sisterhood, the girls are on their phones, voting to kick the “old, hot guy” out of the house. He’s sufficiently prepared for the real world now that he’s explained how rent equals five buckets of crumpled dollar bills. While a handful of scenes approach John Waters levels of obscurity, you’re going to need to get properly stoned to roll with a version of feminism that empowers girls to bro out. R. LAUREN TERRY. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, St. Johns Pub and Theater, Tigard, Vancouver.

The Nice Guys

A- The Nice Guys exists in some

weird, hyperviolent mirror image of Los Angeles—one that looks a lot like Atlanta. It’s like Roger Rabbit’s Toontown, but populated with cartoons that bleed. The Nice Guys plays like a 1970s spiritual sequel to writerdirector Shane Black’s 2005 Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, a winking landmark of self-aware grit that revitalized Robert Downey Jr.’s career. And it’s kind of perfect. The plot is inconsequential, involving a dead porn star, a bunch of gangsters, a missing student, some more gangsters and the auto industry. But all of that is just an excuse to get its perfectly cast stars lobbing insults. Showing comic chops that belie his fuckhead reputation, Russell Crowe is hilarious as a broad-bodied bruiser. He’s paired with Ryan Gosling’s shrill, alcoholic PI, whose Buster Keatonesque clumsiness adds “physical comedy” to the résumé of one of our generation’s biggest powerhouses. Investigating murder and missing persons, they fire off staccato quips as they rocket between scenes—including a crackerjack centerpiece at a mermaid-themed porn party. This movie starts at full speed and never stops. R. AP KRYZA. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cine Magic, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Fox Tower, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

Sing Street

A A New Wave rock-’n’-roll fairy

tale set in early-’80s Dublin, for fans of quality nostalgia fare like Freaks & Geeks. A 15-year-old boy (Ferdia Walsh-Peelo) seeks to escape the harsh reality of his brutal schoolmasters and splintering home. Under the tutelage of his hash-smoking, dole-surfing older brother, he discovers Duran Duran videos and Cure albums. The story is about as believable as Almost Famous or School of Rock, but that’s not the point. This film fondly recalls John Hughes, tips its hat to Wes Anderson, and repeatedly nods to Back to the Future and “Thriller.” PG-13. NATHAN CARSON. Fox Tower, Kiggins.

Star Wars: The Force Awakens

A- If there’s one thing we know about Star Wars fans, it’s that they’re as resistant to change as any religious zealot. And so, the best thing that can be said about The Force Awakens is that it’s almost old-fashioned. PG-13. Empirical.

Sunset Song

AP FILM STUDIES

B Lewis Grassic Gibbon’s 1932 novel

COURTESY OF DRAFTHOUSE FILMS

Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Living Room Theaters, Oak Grove, Tigard, Vancouver.

presents an unobscured portrait of a young Scottish woman’s journey through education, labor, marriage, sex and childbirth. In this 2015 retelling, Agyness Deyn plays the demands of Chris Guthrie’s coming-of-age arc with touching curiosity and pain. Director Terence Davies sets up a few moments of Sydney Pollack-style countryside cinematography, including one beautiful shot of sheep trotting on cobblestone (it’s that kind of movie). If you’re a devotee of deep-cut BBC literary adaptations, then, aye, proceed. Otherwise, it’s a quiet slog through the tight-lipped tragedies of World War I, bucolic isolation and familial abuse. R. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Fox Tower.

Viva

B Jesus (Héctor Medina), a gay hairdresser with dreams of breaking into Cuba’s underground drag scene, confronts his machismo father, Angel (Jorge Perugorría), when the absentee dad gets released from prison, shows up and punches Jesus in the face. In this Irish-made, Spanish-language Oscar nominee, the two are forced to confront their differences as Jesus struggles to strike a balance between connecting with his ailing father and staying true to himself. Viva takes a cautious approach to subjects such as poverty, prostitution and homophobia. But when there are emotional moments, they are punctuated by dramatic drag performances. After a particularly intense breakthrough, a sobbing Jesus takes to the stage, lip-syncing his heart out as mascara streams down his face. R. CURTIS COOK. Fox Tower.

X-Men: Apocalypse

B+ The latest in the X-franchise proves that the Marvel Cinematic Universe is not the only home for A-grade superhero fare. With Apocalypse, writer Bryan Singer has finally steered the ship back on course, crafting one of the greatest comics pictures to date. The film opens in ancient Egypt, introducing the titular villain as the first mutant. Oscar Isaac portrays the blue-skinned Apocalypse then, aping Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now. Jennifer Lawrence and Michael Fassbender return as Mystique and Magneto, respectively, and Hugh Jackman makes a brief but satisfying cameo as the pre-Wolverine Mutant X. If there’s a weakness in this film, it’s the nemesis. Despite being a demigod, thousands of years old, absorbing the powers of countless “inferior” mutants over time, and leaving the entire world in shambles by the end of the film, he simply never seems all that effective or scary. There is great temptation to compare Apocalypse to Civil War. The major difference is that gritty Captain America is dour in its seriousness. X-Men may deal with worldwide peril, but it feels more like a comic. Three-D is recommended since the film is so powerfully front-loaded with Tron-like tunnels and cameras flying through debris. Factions on the internet will inevitably find reasons to hate this movie. The Egyptians will be too pale for some. The question is: Do you want to have fun and enjoy a comic book turned into a quarter-billion-dollar feature film or would you rather stay home reading Proust? PG-13. NATHAN CARSON. Bagdad, Beaverton, Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, Cinema 21, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Eastport, Lloyd, Oak Grove, Pioneer Place, Roseway, St. Johns 1 & 2, Tigard, Vancouver.

Zootopia

B Every dynamic, doe-eyed character in this animated adventure brings laughs for the kids, and hope for adults that their children won’t adopt Donald Trump ideals. There’s a lesson under every hoof, inside every snout, and behind every bubbly buttocks. PG. AMY WOLFE. Bridgeport, Cedar Hills, City Center, Clackamas, Division, Empirical, Lloyd.

For more Movies listings, visit

RaideRs!: the stoRy of the gReatest fan film eveR made

Love Jones RAIDERS: THE ADAPTATION IS THE ULTIMATE FAN FILM, AND WAY BETTER THAN CRYSTAL SKULL. BY A P kRYz A

503-243-2122

If you were young any time between 1981 and now, chances are you pretended to be Indiana Jones. Chris Strompolos and Eric Zala did. Except they did it for seven years, with a group of amateur actors and special-effects artists, and painstakingly re-created Raiders of the Lost Ark shot for shot. And it is kind of great. Raiders of the Lost Ark: The Adaptation is now the stuff of legend. The film was shot out of sequence, so Indy (Strompolos) goes from prepubescent to young adult and back between wandering the Well of Souls. It’s like Boyhood. But with fake blood and, um, not boring. Now, 35 years later, Strompolos and Zala are the subjects of another film, Raiders!: The Story of the Greatest Fan Film Ever Made. It chronicles the pair’s crusade to finish the one scene they never shot, the centerpiece fight around a massive Nazi warplane. Before appearing this Friday at the Hollywood Theatre, Zala and Strompolos talked to AP Film Studies about life in the shadow of the world’s most violent archaeologist. WW: Will Raiders haunt you forever? Chris Strompolos: We just can’t shake it, no matter how hard we try. It’s not a bad thing. It’d be one thing if we had pursued a lifelong passion for Smokey and the Bandit. We chose our movie well. Do you think that’s why people are so fascinated, because you’re doing what they wanted to do as kids? Strompolos: There’s a very powerful undercurrent of nostalgia. It harks back to when you thought you were invincible. Eric Zala: Back when we were kids, as far as we knew, we were alone in doing this. Fan films weren’t a thing pre-internet. Why did you decide to go so big for the airplane scene—big budget, tons of time?

Zala: After we decided to do it, we talked at length. Do we go for it like we did when we were kids? The alternative would be to put Chris back in the too-tight chocolate corduroys and re-create our mistakes. Do we make it out of cardboard? That felt false. Strompolos: We had to build roads, there was no electricity or toilets. There was no infrastructure where we were. A lot of those tasks are more difficult when you’re an adult. When you’re a kid, it’s ‘Let’s let the cute kids do their thing, and we’ll support them.’ ‘Let’s let the cute adults blow up an 80-foot airplane’— that’s a harder task. Aside from singed eyebrows, you guys seem to be unscathed. Were there any permanent injuries? Strompolos: I played Indiana Jones, and Eric was the director, but he was the one who was always hurt. I got a little heat stroke during the truck scene. The flying-wing scene was an extremely physical scene…my body was shot. But Eric had the most glorious track record of being injured. Zala: Yeah, from the singed eyebrows to fire to a broken arm. Somehow, I seemed to escape injury this time. Chris, you’re one of six people who has played Indy. They’re talking about recasting. What advice do you have for whoever takes the fedora? Strompolos: There will never be another Indiana Jones. Harrison was Indy. It’s different than Bond or even Han Solo…good luck to that kid carrying that torch. Harrison is Indy and Indy is Harrison. My advice is, always keep your hat on. SEE IT: Chris Strompolos and Eric Zala host a double feature of the Raiders documentary and the adaptation at the Hollywood Theatre. 6:30 pm Friday, June 3. $9. alSo showinG:

Dirty Dancing continues its annual run at local theaters, harking back to that magical time in a teenage girl’s life when she’s seduced by a serial statutory rapist and everyone’s just kind of cool with it because he dances hot. Mission Theater. Through Sunday, June 5. David Lynch’s Blue Velvet, 30 years later, isn’t just arguably the director’s finest work. It’s also the best advertisement for PBR since Swayze danced with a tallboy. Hollywood Theatre. June 4-6. Cartopia’s Night Movies are back, this year pairing films with classic X-Files episodes. First up, the pilot episode and the John Candy-Dan Aykroyd classic The Great Outdoors. No word on whether any of the carts will have a special on gigantic steaks or gristle. Cartopia. Dusk Sunday, June 5. Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

ORGANIC IN-HOUSE USE

1979 NW VAUGHN ST. SUITE B PORTLAND, OR 97209 HOURS: 11-7, 7 days a week Just North of the Pearl District.

WWW.VESSELPDX.COM

ZELDA GALEWSKY

end roll

JILLYBEAN HARLEQUIN UR APPLE SOUR SHISHKABERRY KABERRY BLUE CHEESE EESE

ALL ORGANIC RGANIC AT ONLY NLY $20 AN EIGHTH TAX INCLUDED!

Calming Cannabis FIVE ANTI-ANXIETY CANNABIS STRAINS TO TRY. BY JA N ELLE A LB U KHA R I

FINDER IS COMING! FINDER

FINDER

FREE

Willamette Week’s 2015/16 Guide to Portland

WILLAMETTE WEEK’S 2015/2016 GUIDE TO PORTLAND

1. Chunky Crunch OG

T UTED A DISTRIB L’S L E W O P OUND, YEAR R ND’S #1 A L T R PO T TOURIS WHERE TO! EAT TION C A R T T A

•

WHERE TO DRINK • WHAT TO DO • WHERE TO SHOP

Featuring all things great in Portland. Finder focuses on neighborhoods, extensive business listings, people proﬁles and detailed maps. The guide also features the nightlife, arts, dining and shopping that deﬁne our city. Distributed at locations in the Portland Metro area. Including restaurants, shops & retailers.

PUBLISHES: AUGUST 10, 2016 Space Reservation & Materials Deadline: JULY 21 • 503.243.2122 • advertising@wweek.com RESERVE YOUR SPACE TODAY! 50

If given the choice between a dose of Prozac and a well-rolled joint, I’ll pick the J every time. When it’s in full swing, my anxiety can prohibit me from doing even the most basic of tasks. I lose the ability to concentrate, and can’t socialize, sleep or go outside. Since I first became a medical marijuana patient back in California, I’ve been successfully using cannabis to combat my anxiety in lieu of traditional pharmaceuticals. It provides me with relief from things like panic attacks while also stimulating my creativity. I’ve been keeping notes on the best strains for anxiety since I moved to Portland nearly two years ago. Here are my top five local strains for long-term anxiety management.

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

21.61 percent THC, 0.7 percent CBD Purchased at Happy Leaf, 1301 NE Broadway, 971-800-0420. While I generally tend to be more of a sativa smoker, this Chunky Crunch is everything I want in an indica. It’s an earthy strain with floral notes that has a profound calming effect, effectively subduing the chest pain that’s a physical manifestation of my anxiety. My notes on this strain include a drawing of a jar of peanut butter, with the words “smooth, so smooth” underlined beneath it. It’s one of the smoothest strains I’ve ever smoked, with nice, thick clouds of smoke that seem to never end. As an indica-dominant hybrid, it’s also a wonderful bedtime strain because it will effectively render you an oozy couch blob.

2. Blue Shark

11 percent THC, 14 percent CBD Purchased at Terpene Station, 1436 SE Powell Blvd., 503-477-8380, terpsstation.com. Blue Shark is a rare strain that has a nearly 1-to-1 ratio of THC to CBD. Since CBD is effective in

treating a variety of medical ailments, it’s no surprise that it works well at managing anxiety. Blue Shark does a fantastic job of putting you in a “wow, I can’t believe how cheerful I am” state without getting you overly high, making it a great everyday strain for functional smokers.

3. UK Cheese

28.77 percent THC, 0.1 percent CBD Purchased at Happy Leaf, 1301 NE Broadway, 971-800-0420. This UK Cheese from Happy Leaf is as its name implies: pungent. At a whopping 28.77 percent THC, it’s the strongest strain on this list. It’s a sativa lover’s dream: a very cerebral high that’s light-headed, amply creative, and pleasant with a lingering body buzz. I find myself bursting into random fits of laughter about half a bowl in. It’s also much harder to get worked up about things, meaning that the endless racing thoughts in my head are blissfully dulled.

4. Bruce Banner

27.44 percent THC, 0.08 percent CBD Purchased at Attis Trading Co., 2606 SE Gladstone St., 971-544-7685, attistrading.com. Have you ever smoked a strain that made you want to do chores? If not, then pack yourself a fresh bowl of Bruce Banner. This sativa-dominant hybrid is a potent, soothing strain that’s ideal for those looking for mental clarity and focus. It doesn’t leave my brain too foggy like some other strong sativas, meaning I can clean without worrying about accidentally setting my apartment on fire.

5. Death Star

24.3 percent THC, 0.2 percent CBD Purchased at Farma, 916 SE Hawthorne Blvd., 503-206-4357, farmapdx.com. Another intoxicating indica that had me dazzled, Death Star works wonders at relieving physical pains and aches. With a sweet, skunky aroma, it’s got a nice body buzz that comes with a surprising note of mental clarity, leaving me happy and relieved without feeling too glued to my couch.

BY N at e Wag g o N e r

Cat and Girl

Headout P.23

Jobs for the Food and Drink Industry Staffing solutions for owners and managers NYC/ CHI/ SFO/ SEA /PDX/ AUS

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

Untitled-2 1

6/10/12 9:41 AM

PRESENTS

Winners will be announced in our annual BOP issue July 13

SAVE THE DATE! Best of Portland block party is back and better than ever! July 13th 5p-9pm Tickets go on sale June 15

Email advertising@wweek.com for promotional opportunities

Willamette Week JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

53 54 55

CLASSIFIEDS

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

WELLNESS

MATT PLAMBECK

WELLNESS, JOBS, LOCALLY OWNED, SERVICES, MUSICIANS MARKET, BULLETIN BOARD, REAL ESTATE CHATLINES, ADULT, JONESIN’

JUNE 1, 2016

FREE WILL ASTROLOGY, INSIDE BACK COVER

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

JOBS

ARE YOU LOOKING FOR A FUN JOB? How about a job driving new cars? Men and Women 18 yrs & up Immediate start. North Portland Call 360-718-7443

AUTO PROCESSING PLANT North Portland. Men & Women, must drive stick shift 360-718-7443

COUNSELING

SERVICES

REAL ESTATE

MUSICIANS MARKET FOR FREE ADS in 'Musicians Wanted,' 'Musicians Available' & 'Instruments for Sale' go to portland.backpage.com and submit ads online. Ads taken over the phone in these categories cost $5.

INSTRUMENTS FOR SALE

TRADEUPMUSIC.COM Buying, selling, instruments of every shape and size. Open 11am-7pm every day. 4701 SE Division & 1834 NE Alberta.

MUSIC LESSONS Play what you want to play.

BUILDING/REMODELING McMenamins GRAND LODGE is having a JOB FAIR! All Positions!

REL A X!

INDULGE YOURSELF in an - AWESOME FULL BODY MASSAGE

call

Charles

503-740-5120

lmt#6250

PHYSICAL FITNESS

BILL PEC FITNESS Personalized Training

503-252-6035

EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITIES PAID IN ADVANCE! Make $1000/week mailing brochures from home. No experience required! Helping home workers since 2001! Genuine Opportunity - Start Immediately! www.TheIncomeHub.com

LEARN PIANO ALL STYLES, LEVELS Beginners welcome.

With 2-time Grammy winner Peter Boe 503-274-8727

BULLETIN BOARD WILLAMETTE WEEK’S GATHERING PLACE

NON-PROFIT DISCOUNTS AVAILABLE. CLASSES

HAULING/MOVING LJ’S HAULING ANYTHING Removal of Metal/Cars free 503-839-7222

TREE SERVICES STEVE GREENBERG TREE SERVICE Pruning and removals, stump grinding. 24-hour emergency service. Licensed/ Insured. CCB#67024. Free estimates. 503-284-2077

CLASSES AT BEE THINKING Meadmaking, Beeswax 101, Beekeeping, Honey Recipes, and more!!! Now Enrolling (877) 325-2221 www.beethinking.com Visit our retail space at 1551 SE Poplar.

LESSONS CLASSICAL PIANO/KEYBOARD ALL AGES. STANDARDS, CLASSICAL, MUSICALS. EUROPEAN TRAINED. PORTLAND 503-227-6557

LOCALLY OWNED

PRICE MATTERS!

Martha's Vineyard meets Mt. Hood at this fabulous pinnacle Stafford Estate with a sweeping view of Mt. Hood from every major room. 1.36 acres. 5214 sq ft. 4 bedrooms, 3.5 bathrooms, a stunning 20ft entry with a cent chandelier, all brick ext, inlaid courtyard & driveway, tile roof, tennis court, vineyard & oversized 3 car garage. Price $1,595,000 ML#15215445

CONTACT

Fred Mueller Principal Broker Coldwell Banker

503-750-8030

528932.082015

MASSAGE (LICENSED)

Join us on THURSDAY, JUNE 2nd from 3pm to 7pm. Managers will be on hand to talk to interested applicants. Current openings include, Line Cooks, Dishwashers, Servers, Foodrunners/ Bussers, Catering Servers, Bartenders, Hosts, Theater Servers, Spa LMT’s and more! What we need from you: An open and flexible schedule, including days, evenings, weekends and holidays; Previous experience is preferred, but we are willing to train! ; A love of working in a busy, customer service-oriented environment; Seasonal and Long term positions are available. Interested in a career in the hospitality industry? We offer opportunities for advancement as well as an excellent benefit package to eligible employees, including vision, medical, chiropractic, dental and so much more! If you cannot attend the job fair, you can still apply online 24/7 at mcmenamins.com EOE.

Margie’s Pot Shop Just for the fun of it

FOLLOW @WWE E K ON T WIT TER

• POT • WAX • SHATTER • VAPE PENS

• GLASS • EDIBLES • $5 JOINTS • $10 GRAMS

• $30 EIGHTHS • QUALITY BUDS and so much more! 509-493-0441

405 E Steuben /SR 14, Bingen, WA 98605 This product may be habit forming. Do not take over state lines. For use by adults 21 and over. Keep out of reach of children.

Willamette Week Classifieds JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MATT PLAMBECK

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

CHATLINES

JONESIN’

by Matt Jones

“Willard’s Theme”–featuring a few minor characters. 57 The ___ Glove (“As Seen on TV” mitt) 58 Neighborhood a long way from the nearest pie? 60 “Funky Cold Medina” rapper Tone ___ 61 “Amazing,” to ‘80s dudes 62 Great Lakes port 63 Nickname of 2004 Cooperstown inductee Dennis 64 Cannabis variety 65 What you might say when you get the theme answers (or if you can’t figure them out)

REAL PEOPLE REAL DESIRE REAL FUN.

Try FREE: 503-416-7098 More Local Numbers: 1-800-926-6000

Ahora español Livelinks.com 18+

Across 1 “... why ___ thou forsaken me?” 5 Agitated state 11 “Cool” amount of money 14 Largest of seven 15 Pacify 16 “UHF” actress Sue ___ Langdon 17 Cardio boxing animal? 19 ___ juste 20 Colgate rival, once 21 Two-tone cookie 22 Exhale after a long run 23 Lewis and

Helmsley, for two 25 Servicemember with the motto “We build. We fight” 27 Nightfall, in an ode 28 2012 Republican National Convention city 32 How some people learn music 33 Chemical analysis kit used on the banks of a waterway? 35 One of its letters stands for “Supported” 37 Family surname in a 2016 ABC sitcom

38 Portraits and such 39 Shopping center featuring earth-toned floor coverings? 42 “All Quiet on the Western Front” star Lew 43 Black, as a chimney 44 Krivoy ___, Ukraine 47 Old Navy’s sister store 49 Belgian ___ 51 Bit of anguish 52 Got 103% on (including extra credit) 56 Peace advocates

Down 1 Dicker over the price 2 Snowden in Moscow, e.g. 3 San ___ (Hearst Castle site) 4 “What I do have are a very particular set of skills” movie 5 25-Across’s gp. 6 Launch cancellation 7 Serengeti sound 8 Raison d’___ 9 Chases away 10 Auto racer ___ Fabi 11 Her bed was too soft 12 Sans intermission 13 11th in a series 18 Classic violin maker 22 2002 eBay acquisition 24 Delight in 26 Go out, like the tide 29 Meal handouts

30 Newman’s Own competitor 31 Battleground of 1836 33 Power shake ingredient, maybe 34 Get ___ start 35 “Julius Caesar” phrase before “and let slip the dogs of war” 36 Minor symptom of whiplash 39 One way to enter a hidden cave? 40 Gp. concerned with hacking 41 “Hollywood Squares” veteran Paul 44 Talk show host Geraldo 45 No longer upset 46 Beaux ___ (gracious acts) 48 Word after war or oil 50 Medicine dispenser 53 Drug ___ 54 Pound of poetry 55 “Burning Giraffes in Yellow” painter 58 Some movie ratings 59 Prefix meaning “power”

last week’s answers

©2015 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JONZ782.

Strike a LiveMatch!

ENTERTAINMENT

Since 1955 Open to 2:30 am 365 days a year

FREE CHATROOMS 24/7

FREE 1on1 8-9PM daily

ALWAYS FREE to chat with VIP members

(Unlimited VIP membership $15/week. No worries about minutes.)

Portland 503-222-CHAT Vancouver 360-314-CHAT

Salem 503-428-5748 • Eugene 541-636-9099 • Bend 541-213-2444 Seattle 206-753-CHAT •Albany (541)248-1481 • Medford (541)326-4000

or WEB PHONE on LiveMatch.com

MAN to MAN

Free Live chatrooms & forums! 503-222-6USA 54

Willamette Week Classifieds JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

MORE TO LOVE ONLINE

Over 30 great dancers and a friendly all-female staﬀ 129 SW Broadway

@ WWEEK.COM

503-227-3023

www.marysclub.com

TO PLACE AN AD CONTACT:

MATT PLAMBECK

503-445-2757 • mplambeck@wweek.com

BACK COVER CONTINUED...

Week of June 2

TO PLACE AN AD ON BACK COVER CONTINUED call 503-445-2757

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) We are inclined to believe that the best way to see the whole picture or the complete story is from above. The eagle that soars overhead can survey a vast terrain in one long gaze. The mountaintop perspective affords a sweeping look at a vast landscape. But sometimes this perspective isn’t perfectly useful. What we most need to see may be right next to us, or nearby, and it’s only visible if our vision is narrowly focused. Here’s how poet Charles Bernstein expresses it: “What’s missing from the bird’s eye view is plain to see on the ground.” Use this clue in the coming weeks. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) I foresee fertile chaos in your immediate future, Gemini. I predict lucky accidents and smoldering lucidity and disciplined spontaneity. Do you catch the spirit of what I’m suggesting? Your experiences will not be describable by tidy theories. Your intentions will not fit into neat categories. You will be a vivid embodiment of sweet paradoxes and crazy wisdom and confusing clarity. Simple souls may try to tone you down, but I hope you will evade their pressure as you explore the elegant contradictions you encounter. Love your life exactly as it is! Methodical improvisations will be your specialty. Giving gifts that are both selfish and unselfish will be one of your best tricks. “Healing extremes” will be your code phrase of power. CANCER (June 21-July 22) According to many sources on the Internet, “werifesteria” is an obscure word from Old English. But my research suggests it was in fact dreamed up within the last few years by a playful hoaxster. Regardless of its origins, I think it’s an apt prescription to fix what’s bugging you. Here’s the definition: “to wander longingly through the forest in search of mystery and adventure.” If you are not currently seeking out at least a metaphorical version of that state, I think you should be. Now is an excellent time to reap the catalytic benefits of being willingly lost in a wild, idyllic, relaxing setting. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) I’m debating about which of your astrological houses will be your featured hotspot in the coming days. I’m guessing it will come down to two options: your House of Valid Greed and your House of Obligatory Sharing. The House of Valid Greed has a good chance to predominate, with its lush feasts and its expansive moods. But the House of Obligatory Sharing has an austere beauty that makes it a strong possibility, as well. Now here’s the trick ending, Leo: I’d like to see if you can emphasize both houses equally; I hope you’ll try to inhabit them both at the same time. Together they will grant you a power that neither could bestow alone. VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Between now and July 25, there’s a chance you will reach the peak of a seemingly unclimbable mountain. You could win a privilege that neither you nor anyone else ever dreamed was within your reach. It’s possible you’ll achieve a milestone you’ve been secretly preparing for since childhood. Think I’m exaggerating, Virgo? I’m not. You could break a record for the biggest or best or fastest, or you might finally sneak past an obstacle that has cast a shadow over your self-image for years. And even if none of these exact events comes to pass, the odds are excellent that you will accomplish another unlikely or monumental feat. Congratulations in advance! LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) “My mother gave birth to me once, yeah yeah yeah,”

writes author Sara Levine. “But I’ve redone myself a million times.” I’m sure she is not demeaning her mom’s hard work, but rather celebrating her own. When’s the last time you gave birth to a fresh version of yourself? From where I stand, it looks like the next 12 to 15 months will be one of those fertile phases of reinvention. And right now is an excellent time to get a lightning-flash glimpse of what the New You might look like.

The Ultimate Sports Bar

Buy More For Less 7am/2:30am Everyday

All Sports Packages • All Lottery Games • Free Ping Pong Table Internet Jukebox • Live DJ Fri/Sat • Over 20 HD TVs • Big Buck Hunter HD

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Author Rebecca Solnit offers some tough advice that I think you could use. “Pain serves a purpose,” she says. “Without it you are in danger. What you cannot feel you cannot take care of.” With that in mind, Scorpio, I urge you to take full advantage of the suffering you’re experiencing. Treat it as a gift that will motivate you to transform the situation that’s causing you to hurt. Honor it as a blessing you can use to rise above the mediocre or abusive circumstances you have been tolerating.

Check Out Our Facebook Page for Give Aways

1735 W Burnside • 503-224-1341

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Aphorist James Guida contemplates the good results that can come from not imposing expectations on the raw reality that’s on its way. “Not to count chickens before they’re hatched,” he muses, “or eggs before they’re laid, chickens who might possibly lay eggs, birds who from afar might be confused with chickens.” I recommend this strategy for you in the coming weeks, Sagittarius. Experiment with the pleasure of being wide open to surprises. Cultivate a mood of welcoming one-of-akind people, things, and events. Be so empty you have ample room to accommodate an influx of new dispensations. As James Guida concludes: “Not to count or think of chickens.” CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) “No gift is ever exactly right for me,” mourns Capricorn poet James Richardson. Don’t you dare be like him in the coming days. Do whatever you must to ensure that you receive at least one gift that’s exactly right for you. Two gifts would be better; three sublime. Here’s another thought from Richardson: “Success repeats itself until it is a failure.” Don’t you dare illustrate that theory. Either instigate changes in the way you’ve been achieving success, or else initiate an entirely new way. Here’s one more tip from Richardson: “Those who demand consideration for their sacrifices were making investments, not sacrifices.” Don’t you dare be guilty of that sin. Make sacrifices, not investments. If you do, your sacrifices will ultimately turn out to be good investments.

SUNLAN

LIGHTING, INC. “We light up your life” Visit the Light Bulb Play Room We have your Bulbs

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Life will invite you to explore the archetype of the Ethical Interloper in the coming days. The archetype of the Helpful Transgressor may tempt you, as well, and even the Congenial Meddler or the Compassionate Trickster might look appealing. I urge you to consider experimenting with all of these. It will probably be both fun and productive to break taboos in friendly ways. You could reconnoiter forbidden areas without freaking anyone out or causing a troublesome ruckus. If you’re sufficiently polite and kind in expressing your subversive intentions, you might leave a trail of good deeds in your wake.

Shatter Resistant

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20) Your theme comes from the title of a poem by Fortesa Latifi: “I Am Still Learning How to Do the Easy Things.” During the next phase of your astrological cycle, I invite you to specialize in this study. You may imagine that you are already a master of the simple, obvious arts of life, but here’s the news: Few of us are. And the coming weeks will be a favorable time for you to refine your practice. Here’s a good place to start: Eat when you’re hungry, sleep when you’re tired, and give love when you’re lonely.

Homework Psychologists say that a good way to eliminate a bad habit is to replace it with a good one. How will you do that? Freewillastrology.com

check out Rob Brezsny’s Expanded Weekly Audio Horoscopes & Daily Text Message Horoscopes

freewillastrology.com

The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

388595.071411 SL

ARIES (March 21-April 19) The voices in our heads are our constant companions. They fill our inner sanctuary with streams of manic commentary. Often we’re not fully cognizant of the bedlam, since the outer world dominates our focus. But as soon as we close our eyes and turn our attention inward, we’re immersed in the jabbering babble. That’s the bad news, Aries. Now here’s the good news. In the coming weeks you will have far more power than usual to ignore, dodge, or even tamp down the jabbering babble. As a result, you may get a chance to spend unprecedented amounts of quality time with the still, small voice at your core -- the wise guide that is often drowned out by all the noise.

And Much More! 503-281-0453

Visit us at Facebook.com/sunlanlighting & 3901 N Mississippi Ave • www.SunlanLighting.com Hours: Mon-Fri 8:00 to 5:30 Sat 10:00 to 5:00 Willamette Week Classifieds JUNE 1, 2016 wweek.com

BACK COVER

PORTLAND! Your hybrid is here . Let us hook you up.

BANKRUPTCY

Stop Foreclosure, Garnishment, Lawsuits. I can help. Scott M. Hutchinson, Atty. Call today at 503-808-9032 FREE Confidential Consultation. Affordable Payment Plans. Visit: Hutchinson-Law.com

$$$ CASH FOR DIABETIC TEST STRIPS $$$

Paying up to $30/box. Help those who can’t afford insurance. Free pickup in SW WA and Portland Metro. Call 360-693-0185 ext 500

Guitar Lessons

Personalized instruction for over 15yrs. www.portlandguitar-lessons.com 503-546-3137

A FEMALE MALE FRIENDLY LLY SEX TOY BOUTIQUE for every body The no-bullshit dealership alternative for hybrids.

MAPPING THE VULVA / SUN, JUNE 5 - 7:30 - $20 SWITCH LEATHER MEET & GREET / SUN, JUNE 12 - 7:00 - FREE (RSVP FACEBOOK) SWINGING & THREESOMES & ORGIES, OH MY! / THURS, JUNE 30 - 7:30 - $20 EXPLORING BURLESQUE: STRIPTEASE SALON / WED, JULY 6 - 7:30 - $20 MODERN DATING: A SAFE, PRACTICAL, & FUN APPROACH / SUN, JULY 17 - 7:30 - $15 PLEASURE, POWER, & PAIN: AN INTRO TO BDSM / THURS, JULY 28 - 7:30 - $20

2510 NE Sandy Blvd | 503.969.3134 (text preferred) | atomicauto.com

Workshops can be ASL INTERPRETED upon request

3213 SE DIVISION ST AND AT 909 N BEECH ST. PORTLAND. AND SHOP ONLINE AT SHEBOPTHESHOP.COM

LAS VEGAS GAMBLING TRIPS Qualified Players ONLY You pick dates Criteria info 305-360-6685

Comedy Classes

Improv, Standup, Sketch writing. Now enrolling The Brody Theater, 503-224-2227 www.brodytheater.com

Qigong Classes

Cultivate health and energy www. nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

WHERE SINGLES MEET Browse & Reply FREE! 503-299-9911 Use FREE Code 2557, 18+

Can I Help You?

I am experienced, compassionate attorney who can help you find the right solution for you. Stop garnishments, stop foreclosure, deal with tax liabilities and rid yourself of debt. Let me help you find your path to financial freedom. Call Christopher Kane at 503-380-7822. www.ckanelaw.com. “

Top 1% Portland Agent

Stephen FitzMaurice, Realtor Home Selling Specialist 13+ Years Experience 4.5% Max Commission Stellar service and marketing. Broker in OR at Premiere Property Group. 3636 NE Broadway St. 503-975-6853. RealEstateAgentPDX.com

Marijuana Store & More *971-255-1456* 1310 SE 7TH AVE

CASH for INSTRUMENTS

$Cash for Junk Vehicles$

Ground defense under black belt instruction www.nwfighting.com or 503-740-2666

4911 NE Sandy Blvd. Portland, OR 97213 503-384-WEED (9333)

Ask for Steven. 503-936-5923

AA HYDROPONICS

9966 SW Arctic Drive, Beaverton 9220 SE Stark Street, Portland American Agriculture • americanag.com PDX 503-256-2400 BVT 503-641-3500

Tradeupmusic.com SE - 236-8800 NE -335-8800 SW - Humstrumdrum.com

JiuJitsu

Non-Profit Law Firm Garnished? Eviction? Foreclosure? We can help. Call 503-208-4079 Bankruptcy - Tenant - Sliding-Scale www.communitylawproject.org

OMMP CARDHOLDERS GET 25% DISCOUNT!

Quick fix synthetic urine now available. Kratom, Vapes. E-cigs, glass pipes, discount tobacco, detox products, Butane by the case Still Smokin’ Glass and Tobacco 12302 SE Powell 503-762-4219

Mary Jane’s House of Glass

Glass Pipes, Vaporizers, Incense, Candles. 10% discount for new OMA Card holders. 1425 NW 23rd, Ptld. 503-841-5757 17937 SW McEwan Rd. Tualatan. 503-746-7522

WWEEKDOTCOM

NORTH WEST HYDROPONIC R&R

We Buy, Sell & Trade New and Used Hydroponic Equipment. 503-747-3624

SO, YOU GOT A DUI. NOW WHAT?

Get help from an experienced DUI trial lawyer Free Consult./ Vigorous Defense/ Affordable Fees David D. Ghazi, Attorney at Law 620 SW Main St, Ste. 702 (503)-224-DUII (3844) david@ddglegal.com

$30 & $40 Quarters While Supplies Last, Pre-Order Online

Smoke Pot and Want Mental Clarity?

Science-tested plant-based drink will do that and more.Free samples for serious inquiries.Susan 503-577-4708

WWEEKDOTCOM

MEDICAL MARIJUANA Card Services Clinic

New Downtown Location! 1501 SW Broadway www.mellowmood.com

4119 SE Hawthorne, Portland ph: 503-235-PIPE (7473)

503 235 1035

AGHPDX.COM 503.394.3900

503-384-WEED (9333) www.mmcsclinic.com 4911 NE Sandy Blvd, Portland Mon-Sat 9-6

Pizza Delivery

Until 4AM!