Willamette Week, March 9, 2022 - Volume 48, Issue 18 - "It Costs How Much?"

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NEWS: Who Wants to Buy an Island? P. 9 FOOD: República’s Five-Course Tour de Force P. 25

“SOMETIMES IT’LL COME OUT IN A SKIP.” P. 30 WWEEK.COM VOL 48/18 03.09. 2022

THEATER: Shaking the Tree Comes Out Fighting. P. 29

A Portlander’s guide to surviving inflation. Page 13


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FINDINGS THOMAS TEAL

Voices Out of the Darkness: Bach Cantatas Mar 20 & 21

REPÚBLICA, PAGE 25

Celebrate Bach’s birthday with works by Bach, Pachelbel, and others, led by Jonathan Woody with PBO players and 8 singers.

WHAT WE LEARNED FROM READING THIS WEEK’S PAPER VOL. 48, ISSUE 18 The Bald-Faced Truth has left The Oregonian. 5

Depoe Bay’s Whale Watch Center should reopen this April.

Seven police officers took a peek at a hit-and-run report when they weren’t supposed to. 6

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R.B. Pamplin Corp. pensioners now own much of Ross Island. 9 The price of a dozen eggs rose 31% in the past year. 14 A $7 Margherita pizza is available for seven hours each day. 15

The University of Oregon has a professor nicknamed Dr. Coffee. 23

In Person and Online! Tickets at PBO.org 503-222-6000

Chapulines, or grasshoppers, are now on the menu at República. 25 Dry cake doughnuts may be one of the best vehicles for THC syrups. 27

After long periods, gasoline degrades and turns into turpentine. 16

A disembodied male voice forces two women to battle each other in a new play. 29

Cryptocurrencies now include avalanche and polkadot. 18

Medford chef Vinny DiCostanzo visits vineyards, zipline courses and ceramic studios. 30

ON THE COVER:

OUR MOST TRAFFICKED STORY ONLINE THIS WEEK:

It Costs How Much?: Erica Montgomery of Erica’s Soul Food, photo by Aaron Lee.

The mayor fired Officer Brian Hunzeker.

Largest Ecological Gift Shop Largest Native Plant Nursery

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Mark Zusman

EDITORIAL

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DIALOGUE

• •••• • • • •

TA R E B A LRO S ER E T A •••• E H T MAR 10 FEATURING

Last week, WW examined the effect that a vigilante homicide at a protest march in the Rose City Park neighborhood had on the social media site Nextdoor. In several threads, Nextdoor users expressed outrage at the shooting, the state of the city, and the memorial graffiti left on a Normandale Park shelter. News editor Aaron Mesh wrote that the cognitive dissonance on display stemmed from a conservative narrative that Portland’s homeless camps and protesters were a blight staining the city. Here’s what our readers had to say.

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walls. ‘Kill Andy’ was painted in huge letters on the eastern wall (it has since been painted over). That call for vigilante violence [against conservative author Andy Ngo] was omitted from your story, apparently because it didn’t fit the narrative you were crafting. Please do better to report the whole story, even when it gives you complicated feelings.”

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

CAPTAIN HAMBURGER, VIA WWEEK.COM: “Everyone I

know, left and right, all think Portland is filthy and needs to be cleaned up. “As far as the memorial goes: It’s going to get worse. [Portland Parks & Recreation] has already released a statement saying that they are not going to do anything about the graffiti or camp ‘anytime soon.’ So, it starts out with a bit of graffiti and a handful of tents…and then it will explode into an eyesore like these things always do. “The surrounding residents can be concerned about the shooting AND the graffiti/camp all at the same time.”

BETSYTOLL, VIA WWEEK. COM: “How did you feel about

the memorial at the bus station when two men died with their throats slit by Jeremy Christian? Did you protest that memorial? “Why don’t the Normandale

women deserve to have their lives and the place where they were attacked honored with a community memorial? “The difference is that those decent and heroic guys were all white men stopping a racist killer. Thank god. While the good and decent people shot at Normandale were just old white women trying to keep traffic moving safely and help marchers stay safe. Who cares about them?” A CONCERNED READER, VIA EMAIL: “I was disturbed to see

you distort the story in a specific way, via an ironic omission. You placed the story in the context of Nextdoor being populated with ‘members on several occasions have threatened to take the law into their own hands.’ That was EXACTLY what some of those Nextdoor posts were complaining about: the calls for violence in the graffiti on the

Dr. Know

“‘For months, a narrative has grown among Oregon conservatives that Portland is filthy and needs to be cleansed.’ “Are you under the impression that liberals and progressives haven’t held this view for months, also? Is the distinction that they just haven’t talked about it?”

ANDY SCOTT, VIA EMAIL:

“If you look at recent polling, including one from the reputable DHM Research, it’s safe to say it’s not just conservatives who believe Portland needs to be cleaned up. Maybe a more centrist tone from you and your publication could help the city and its citizens move forward on a better path.”

LETTERS TO THE EDITOR must include the author's street address and phone number for verification. Letters must be 250 or fewer words. Submit to: 2220 NW Quimby St., Portland, OR 97210 Email: mzusman@wweek.com

BY MARTY SMITH @martysmithxxx

What’s up with Concordia University? Shut down two years ago, it still sits empty. Looks like ready-to-move-in housing to me! What bureaucracy is preventing people from living there? —Confused in Concordia This job has taught me three things: Don’t put used pizza boxes in the recycling, you’ll never go broke betting against Snowpocalypse, and if something valuable seems abandoned, it’s because somewhere two or more parties are fighting over it. But let’s not bury the lede. Assuming a newly pending sale goes through, the Concordia site will soon house a University of Oregon satellite school called the Ballmer Institute for Children’s Behavioral Health, or BICBH. (So close! Obviously, I would have gone with “Ballmer Institute for Troubled Children’s Health.”) So, the site finds a tenant and all is well. Had you asked your question in 2021, however, I would have described a Reservoir Dogs-style three-way standoff between zombie Concordia; the Lutheran Church Extension Fund, to whom Concordia owed $37 million in defaulted loans; and HotChalk, the tech company that ran Concordia’s briefly burgeoning online degree program and now claims the defunct university

owes it $300 million (for which it’s suing). The argument seems to have been over (among other things) who had the right to sell the campus and which debts the proceeds should cover. The property’s long vacancy allowed this to be hashed out. Case closed. If you’re like me, however, you may still be wondering how Concordia ran up a $300 million room service tab with its web developer. (You’re also drunk and not wearing pants, but that’s less important.) Were Concordia just deadbeats who never paid HotChalk for its services? Nope! In fact, by the end HotChalk was pocketing about half of Concordia’s tuition dollars. But their contract stated that if Concordia ever ended the relationship “without cause,” it’d owe HotChalk a severance equal to three years’ revenues. To me, this sounds a lot like a health insurance company charging you an extra three years of premiums for dying, but what do I know? In any case, LCEF bought the Concordia campus, and now may or may not be on the hook for the HotChalk debt. Don’t feel too bad for the Lutherans, though—the property they paid $3 million for last summer is about to sell to UO for $60 million. Also, they’re all going to heaven, so they’ve got that going for them, which is nice. Questions? Send them to dr.know@wweek.com.


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JOHN CANZANO DEVELOPER WINS SLABTOWN BATTLE: Seven years after acquiring the Slabtown property, developer Guardian Real Estate Services will break ground on a 200-unit apartment building on Northwest Pettygrove Street, 20% of which will be affordable for tenants making 80% of median income. The developer bought the 1.55acre property in 2015 and then faced a series of delays while the Northwest District Association fought the design of the project. In particular, neighbors objected to the height of the building: They favored four stories instead of six, lamenting it would block sunlight from reaching a public square (“Sky Wars,” WW, Jan. 24, 2018). The battle became emblematic of neighborhood groups’ clout in opposing new home construction despite a housing shortage. The building is now seven stories, says the developer. “Slabtown Square has been an exercise in perseverance,” said Tom Brenneke, president of Guardian. “From design iterations and appeals to overcoming the negative perceptions of Portland when attempting to capitalize, we worked through each hurdle to bring this development to fruition.” SINGLETON TAKES ON DIFFICULT ROLE: Shannon Singleton takes over as interim director of the Joint Office of Homeless Services on March 28. The aide to Gov. Kate Brown, who gave up a bid for county chair to take the JOHS job, walks into an ongoing negotiation of the original intergovernmental agreement between the city of Portland and Multnomah County over how to manage the office, which had a budget of more than $160 million this fiscal year. Although the city contributes more general fund cash than the county, Singleton will report to Kim Melton, chief of staff to County Chair Deborah Kafoury, with the city on the outside looking in. And despite Oregon’s pay equity law, Singleton, a Black woman, will earn a salary of $165,000—$10,000 a year less than Jolin’s. JOHS spokesman Denis Theriault says that’s a reflection of Jolin’s long tenure in the job, which he started in 2015.

HARDESTY, MOZYRSKY SPLIT UNION ENDORSEMENTS: On March 8, Portland City Council candidate Vadim Mozyrsky received endorsements from the Joint Council of Teamsters No. 37, which represents more than 23,000 members across three states; SMART Local 16, which represents sheet metal workers; and the Columbia Pacific Building Trades Council, which represents more than 20,000 construction workers in Oregon and Vancouver, Wash. Mozyrsky is seeking to unseat incumbent Commissioner Jo Ann Hardesty, who so far has received the endorsements of Service Employees International Union Local 503, which represents more than 72,000 public service employees; SEIU Local 49, which represents more than 15,000 workers, and the International Longshore and Warehouse Union Local 8, representing around 400 members. She’s also received the endorsement of the union that represents Portland Community College faculty. (The third leading candidate, Rene Gonzalez, has received no union endorsements yet.) JOHN CANZANO LEAVES THE OREGONIAN: The Oregonian’s most prominent writer, sports columnist John Canzano, has left the newspaper after 20 years. Editor Therese Bottomly announced the departure March 8 but offered no explanation “I wish John all the best going forward,” Bottomly tells WW. “He’s a terrific writer.” Canzano did not immediately return a call seeking comment. His colleagues believe Canzano was the highest-paid member of the staff. He was certainly the most recognizable—in part because his columns were reliably provocative, lambasting Oregon sports executives, scolding well-known athletes, and goading fans of the Blazers, Ducks and Beavers. He also had an unusual deal at the paper, allowing him to host a talk radio show, The Bald-Faced Truth, on 750 AM The Game while penning his column. Canzano has launched a new website and will continue writing a column in a newsletter that will be free to readers. One former colleague, longtime sportswriter Ken Goe, lamented Canzano’s departure on Twitter. “This is a tragic mistake for The Oregonian,” Goe wrote.

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NEWS

WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS WEEK

DOCUMENTS

Case Closed Three takeaways from the city’s investigation of a police leak. tess@wweek .com

Almost exactly a year after the Portland Police Bureau’s internal affairs division initiated the investigation, the city released the full internal affairs case file generated from its inquiry into the identities and motivations of the city employees who leaked confidential information from an incident report that falsely named Commissioner Jo Ann Hardesty as the driver in a March 2021 hit-and-run crash. The release follows last week’s news that Mayor Ted Wheeler fired Portland Police Officer Brian Hunzeker, the former Portland Police Association president. The case file also contained the imposed discipline letters sent to two other Portland Police Bureau officers involved: Kerri Ottoman, who received a one-day suspension without pay, and Ken Le, who received a letter of reprimand Jan. 27. Here are three takeaways from over 800 pages of records: 1. Seven PPB officers had accessed the initial CAD record for a “potentially illegitimate purpose.” About a week after the fender bender, on March 12, 2021, internal affairs investigators identified 22 Police Bureau staff— sworn and non-sworn—who accessed the computer-aided dispatch record in the hours after the initial complaint. (The CAD, as it’s known, is the dispatch record logging system.) Fifteen of those employees likely accessed the record as part of their official duties, according to a March 12 list generated by investigators. The remaining seven were suspected of accessing it for a “potentially illegitimate purpose.” Ottoman viewed the CAD record twice, and Hunzeker viewed it three times, according to the records. (Investigators later determined the other five who accessed the CAD record did not violate bureau directives.) The investigators did not include Le on this list, because he was one of the officers who conducted the initial investigation into the hit-and-run itself and compiled the police report. In other words, he had direct access to the information at hand as part of his official duties that night. Le was also one of two PPB officers who showed up at Hardesty’s home and knocked on her door in an attempt to get a statement from her in the

BRIAN BURK

BY T E S S R I S K I

said. “I don’t know if one supersedes the other.” Hunzeker said the “underlying reason” for sharing the information was his “young, naïve inability to manage a large organization, as such, and I made a bad decision on information that I had.” He reiterated throughout the interview that he had been elected union president only four months previously, in November 2020. Investigators pressed him on the MOTIVE: The former union president cited role Hardesty’s longtime criticism of Hardesty’s criticism of Portland police. PPB played in his decision to share the confidential information. He early morning hours of March 4, according to his interview told them that her past comments had harmed PPA members. with investigators. “She was the leading person on the council to defund—a This finding also shows the city suspected Hunzeker’s insuccessful defunding of the Portland Police Bureau,” he said. volvement as early as March 12. Four days later, on March 16, Hunzeker again pointed to his greenness as president. the PPA announced his resignation as union president. “And so, when this information came out—Commissioner Hardesty has been extremely critical of our membership,” 2. Hunzeker named two PPA members who tipped Hunzeker said. “I represent a membership that is trying to do the best they can with budget constraints. They’re trying him off in the first place. In a May 24 interview with internal affairs—his first of three— to do the best they can with limited resources, short staffing. Hunzeker said he initially learned of the allegation against The membership that I represent has been under attack since Hardesty around 7:45 am on March 4, when a member of his June 2020.” During his second interview, on June 18, 2021, internal union sent him a text message. “And the substance of the text?” internal affairs investigator affairs investigator Jon Rhodes asked Hunzeker: Would you Jon Rhodes asked. have tipped off The Oregonian if the hit-and-run allegation Hunzeker responded: “Very simple. Rumor is, or something had named a different city commissioner than Hardesty? to the effect of, generic rumor is Commissioner Hardesty was “That’s a good question,” Hunzeker said. “I’m going to pause involved—might have been, or was, involved in a hit-and-run.” for just a moment to give you a clear answer.” Then, Hunzeker told investigators, he asked another PPA He said it would depend on whether the information would have a “negative or positive influence on my membership.” member to send him the case number so he could confirm it. Hunzeker continued, explaining that, in his role as PPA The union member did. president, he had passed on information about a reported “And so that solidified my knowledge that the case actually crime in which a civilian identified a public official as a suspect. occurred, or the call actually occurred,” Hunzeker said. But he also acknowledged that the union could have benefited He named both of the PPA members during the interview. WW is withholding their names because the city never named if Hardesty was, in fact, the suspect in the hit-in-run. them as possible witnesses in the case. “I believe that if this matter—I believe it was of public conThen, at around 8:30 am, Hunzeker texted Maxine Bernstein, cern and if it were true, it would have an impact on the policy a reporter at The Oregonian, asking “if she had a moment to changes that that public official has advocated for, whether talk.” Shortly thereafter, the two spoke on the phone, Hunzeker they were for or against the police in their specific capacity,” said during the interview. Hunzeker said. “I was never, as the Portland Police Association president, ever trying to target any one city official. It is 3. Hunzeker was partly motivated by Hardesty’s an accurate assessment that as a public official her very vocal criticism of police. discord and dislike of the police has a negative effect on my During the May 2021 interview, investigators pressed Hunzemembership and that her capacity as a public official, if this ker on his motivation for leaking to The Oregonian. were true, this rumor were true, could potentially have less “So, I reached out to Maxine with many different reasons,” he impact, negative impact, on my membership.”

CHECKLIST

Something Borrowed

Mayor Ted Wheeler’s homelessness declarations closely reflect his aide’s blueprint for mass shelters. Last month, an eight-page memo written by mayoral aide Sam Adams caused a commotion. It proposed building up to three mass shelters with a capacity of 1,000 each, and staffing them with unarmed National Guard troops and social work students. Other elected officials and housing nonprofit leaders quickly condemned the idea. Portland Mayor Ted Wheeler did not. In fact, his actions over the past five weeks indicate he supports it—or at least parts of it. 6

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

Last week on Oregon Public Broadcasting’s Think Out Loud, Wheeler told host Dave Miller as much. “What it was, was an attempt to move people into safer locations,” Wheeler said. “We should at least have the discussion about what pieces of that are workable, what parts of this solution makes sense.” Wheeler has already adopted several of those pieces. In a series of emergency declarations since Feb. 4, Wheeler has assumed authority over bureaus he wouldn’t otherwise

have in Portland’s weak-mayor form of government. Wheeler’s declarations over the past month have borrowed heavily from building blocks of Adams’ memo. Below is a checklist of seven things Adams recommended in his plan, and whether Wheeler has acted on them yet. SOPHIE PEEL .

1. Use eminent domain to take control of private land for public use as a shelter or camping space. PARTIALLY COMPLETE. The mayor used eminent domain to compel developer James Winkler, who owns the recently announced safe rest village property along Northwest Naito Parkway near Union Station, into lease negotiations with the city. However, Adams calls the seizure a “friendly condemnation”—Winkler agreed to enter negotiations without pushback.

2. Create shelter availability for 3,000 homeless Portlanders. INCOMPLETE. The city and county have roughly 1,300 shelter beds available per night. Two weeks after Adams’ memo was first reported, Wheeler floated his own idea: large sanctioned camping sites with occupancy fewer than 1,000 but more than the safe rest villages, which will house up to 60 people each. While Wheeler said initially his plan was incumbent on state funding—which Portland did not receive in the latest legislative session—spokesman Rich Chatman later told WW that Wheeler “does recognize that we may need to resort to other creative methods to fund these critical resources.” 3. Use emergency decrees to “cut through processes that are fine for everyday work but not in a crisis.” COMPLETED. Wheeler has used his emer-


ONE QUESTION

DONOR

Do You Support Vaccine Mandates? We asked candidates for governor who should be required to get a COVID shot. The political landscape for vaccine mandates has changed dramatically in the course of the past several weeks. Democrats, including Gov. Kate Brown, have rolled back mask and vaccine mandates in the face of declining COVID-19 case counts—and to avert a landslide against the party in November. (The pandemic has aided in making two successive presidents, one from each party, unpopular.) On March 12, statewide mask mandates will end in Oregon—as well as Washington and California. On April 1, Brown will also roll back her vaccine mandates for most state employees, while leaving in place the requirement that health care workers and school employees be vaccinated, The Oregonian reported March 2. That left at least one Democratic candidate on shifting ground: Former House Speaker Tina Kotek followed Brown, supporting the full vaccine mandate when WW first asked the question before the governor’s change; now she supports it only for those whom Brown continues to mandate a requirement. “Our understanding is that with the emergency order now expiring, the vaccine requirement for public employees is no longer legally defensible,” says Kotek spokeswoman Katie Wertheimer. As she has in previous policy changes, Gov. Brown says she’s relying on science. “As she has throughout the pandemic, the governor’s decisions have been guided by science, data and the advice and recommendations of doctors, scientists and health experts,” says spokesman Charles Boyle. “Poll numbers for anyone do not factor into those decisions.” R AC H E L M O N A H A N .

gency powers three times now to address homelessness. When asked last week how many more declarations would follow, he said: “Indeterminate, and as many as necessary.” 4. “Create a multistate, county and city coalition to ask for federal recognition of houselessness disaster.” NOT ATTEMPTED. No group of cities or counties has publicly asked for federal recognition of a disaster. However, a group of cities including Portland requested $50 million from the Oregon Legislature during its recently ended session, but only garnered $25 million total—and Portland’s portion went to Multnomah County to distribute. 5. Eventually prohibit all unsanctioned camping, starting with clearing camps near “schools, medical facilities, shelters, ADA violators, and in camps located in

WW asked: Do you support a COVID-19 vaccine mandate for public employees? What about for students in public schools?

YES AND YES

Tobias Read, Oregon state treasurer, Democrat We are two years into the pandemic and are moving out of a crisis response into an endemic approach. Over time, COVID vaccines, which millions of people around the world have received, should not be different than the eight other vaccines we require of school students.

YES for health care workers and school employees as now required YES after FDA approval

Tina Kotek, former House speaker, Democrat The COVID-19 vaccines are still the very best tool to avoid hospitalization and stem the tide of new variants. While case numbers and hospitalizations are declining, we should all continue taking steps to stay safe and healthy. That includes staying up to date on your COVID vaccinations.

NO AND NO

Bridget Barton, conservative writer, Republican I don’t support vaccine mandates for anyone. We are free, intelligent adults, able to make choices about our health and our children’s health. Government should provide accurate, complete information and easy access to information, without censoring scientific discussions and debates.

higher-speed transportation locations.” PARTIALLY COMPLETE. On Feb. 4, Wheeler banned camping along highways and the city’s most dangerous streets. He also banned camping within 150 feet of the safe rest villages. He has not announced clearing of camps that obstruct disability access structures or lie close to hospitals. 6. Use an “emergency disaster approach of a larger campus(es)” that can streamline services to homeless Portlanders. COMPLETED. Last week, Wheeler announced an emergency declaration that aims to streamline homeless services and outreach by creating a centralized outreach system led by Mike Myers, the city’s community safety transition director. Bureaus that deal with homelessness will report to Myers. He’ll report to the mayor. Wheeler aims to have the center up and running by the summer.

CONTRIBUTION OF THE WEEK

Christine Drazan, former state House minority leader, Republican I trust people to decide for themselves the best approach to their own health care, even if our current governor does not. This idea that the state should coerce people into taking the vaccine by threatening their livelihoods is just plain wrong. I’d repeal the mandates on day one. Whether we’re talking about masks or vaccines, nobody should be getting in the way of a parent’s right to determine what is best for their own child. Period.

Betsy Johnson, former state senator, unaffiliated I don’t believe the government has the right to tell us what we can and cannot do with our bodies. Just give us the information we need and the opportunity to act. Just because someone works for the state doesn’t give them less rights than the rest of us. I’m appalled their union leadership signed off on the governor’s mandate. This is unnecessary nanny-state overreach. Parents and teachers should run our schools, not bureaucrats and politicians. The worst thing we did during the pandemic was closing schools and taking away parents’ rights to do what’s best for their kids.

Bud Pierce, doctor, Republican Ever-changing directions and mandates have only created social discontent.

Stan Pulliam, mayor of Sandy, Republican It absolutely is NOT the business of state government to force anyone to get vaccinated. And it will destroy participation in public education if we are forced to keep our kids home in order to exercise our God-given right to make medical decisions for our own children.

Bob Tiernan, former state representative, Republican I do not support a vaccine mandate for public employees. Getting the vaccine does not stop a person from getting or spreading the disease. No to public school students getting vaccinated— the risks outweigh the benefits.

7. End the need for unsanctioned camps entirely. INCOMPLETE. It remains unclear what exactly Wheeler’s endgame is—but it is clear he’s looking to quickly increase shelter capacity and expand prohibitions on camping. One possible reason, per Adams’ memo: To avoid lawsuits over trash pileups. (Local nonprofits, alarmed by his plan, challenged the city and county instead to house 3,000 people in permanent dwellings that already exist, such as motels, and by signing master leases.) Chatman says that bans on camping near schools, medical facilities and disabled access points are “on the list for the potential next phases” and added that the mayor “has reiterated many times that his primary objective with the emergency declarations is the health and safety of our unsheltered Portlanders.”

HOW MUCH? $25,000 WHO GOT IT? Oregon State Treasurer Tobias Read, Democratic candidate for governor WHO GAVE IT? The Papé Group, a Eugene-based heavy equipment manufacturer WHY DOES IT MATTER? If a donation is like a bet on who will win the governorship, this is a hedge on Papé’s other, larger bet ($250,000) that independent candidate Betsy Johnson can win. Another way to look at it: The company has funded a wide variety of opponents to the labor-backed, more left-leaning former House Speaker Tina Kotek, presumably to support every other candidate to ensure she doesn’t get elected. The Papé Group has also given $25,000 to two Republican candidates: former Rep. Christine Drazan and businesswoman Jessica Gomez. Read is grateful anyway. “The Papé Group have chosen to support Tobias because they share his frustrations about how things are going in Oregon and see him as the only Democrat with a sense of urgency about solving these problems,” says campaign spokeswoman Jessica LaVigne. WHAT DOES PAPÉ SAY? The company’s executives say they are focused on the long-term future of the state. “We are excited to help candidates that believe in building an Oregon where our children can flourish and find exciting careers here at home,” says CEO Jordan Papé. “While each candidate offers a unique plan for Oregon’s future, we have focused our contributions on campaigns that share a vision for an Oregon that is safe, prosperous, and focused on helping the next generation of Oregonians excel on the global stage.” R AC H E L M O N A H A N .

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NEWS WATERFRONT PROPERTY: Barges in Ross Island Lagoon are engaged in a decadeslong effort to reclaim land from industrial use.

The R.B. Pamplin Corp. pension fund bought a very expensive island—from a Pamplin company. BY N I G E L J AQ U I S S

njaquiss@wweek .com

Last month, WW reported that the R.B. Pamplin Corp., a Portland conglomerate that owns newspapers, textile mills and Ross Island Sand & Gravel, had engaged in highly unusual transactions with its pension fund (“Trader Bob,” Feb. 23). Experts told WW some of those transactions were imprudent and may favor R.B. Pamplin Corp. at the expense of its nearly 2,400 pension beneficiaries. The day after that story was published, Ross Island Sand & Gravel recorded five property deeds with the Multnomah County assessor’s office memorializing a curious series of previously unreported real estate transactions valued at $10.8 million. The transactions shift ownership of land in the heart of Portland from Ross Island Sand & Gravel to the R.B. Pamplin Corporation and Subsidiaries Pension Plan and Trust. The property: a crescent-shaped, flood-prone archipelago known as Ross Island, located in the middle of the Willamette River downtown. Until 2019, when it ceased Portland operations, Ross Island Sand & Gravel used the eastern side of Ross Island, known as Hardtack Island (it’s joined to Ross Island by an earthen berm), to process rock mined in Washington. Today, rusting machinery and a settling pond are the legacy of the company’s productive years on the property. And the fallow ground is now the property of the Pamplin companies’ employee pension fund. Bob Sallinger, conservation director of the Audubon Society of Portland, points out that Hardtack Island is strewn with detritus left over from decades of industrial use. He says 75 years of mining and rock processing took a heavy toll on the land and will be costly to remediate. “This property is going to require significant investment,” Sallinger says. “It doesn’t seem like an investment, it seems like a liability.”

The newly recorded transactions are the latest examples of puzzling decisions made by the R.B. Pamplin subsidiaries, which are controlled by Robert Pamplin Jr., the 80-year-old scion of what was once one of Oregon’s largest fortunes. As WW reported last month, the R.B. Pamplin Corp. is legally obligated to make a contribution to its employees’ pension fund each year. In recent years, that annual obligation has been $3 million to $4 million. (At the end of 2020, the fund held $98.4 million for beneficiaries.) Prior to 2018, the pension plan’s written policies called for parent company R.B. Pamplin Corp. to contribute cash every year to fund its pension obligations. In 2018, however, records show that policy changed to allow “cash contributions or property contributions.” Robert Pamplin Jr., in addition to being president of R. B. Pamplin Corp., is also the sole trustee or fiduciary of the pension fund. Experts say that dual role creates the potential for conflict of interest when a Pamplin company contributes or sells real estate to the fund. That has happened more than 20 times since the policy shift allowed R.B. Pamplin Corp. and its subsidiaries to put real estate into the fund. Most of those transactions were sales, which allowed Pamplin operating companies to exchange real estate for cash. The Ross Island transaction, the largest so far, brings the amount of real estate to 37% of the entire pension fund’s value. The U.S. Department of Labor, which regulates pension funds, says to minimize risk, pension funds should hold no more than 10% of their assets in real estate. There is also the matter of the value the R.B. Pamplin company placed on the 122-acre Ross Island property when it transferred the land to the company’s pension fund. The newly filed deeds show it was valued at $10.8 million, or $88,524 an acre. (The property

also includes submerged lands, to which the county assessor assigns zero value.) WW spoke to analysts familiar with the market for real estate zoned as open land—i.e., not usable for commercial purposes. They all found the price on Ross Island high. An appraisal released in January for recent sales of such land cited two parcels that, like Ross Island, are accessible only by boat. Their average price per acre: $5,000. Travis Williams, executive director of Willamette Riverkeeper, keeps a close eye on land

“There is a fundamental problem with Pamplin being on both sides of the transaction. There’s nobody standing up independently looking out for the pension fund’s interest.” zoned “open space” along the river. He is also very familiar with the Ross Island property, having helped negotiate Pamplin’s 2007 donation of 45 acres of the island to the city of Portland and the legal agreement that began the reclamation of the Ross Island lagoon. That reclamation, which started in 2002, won’t be finished until 2035 because of the expense and difficulty of returning Ross Island and its lagoon to their pre-industrial state. Williams says the value placed on Ross Island is “egregious.” Terry Deneen, a fellow at the Pension Rights Center in Washington, D.C., says he’s also troubled by the Ross Island transactions. “There is a fundamental problem with [Robert] Pamplin being on both sides of the transaction,” Deneen says. “There’s nobody standing

BRIAN BURK

Fantasy Island

up independently looking out for the pension fund’s interest.” Mark Garber, president of Pamplin Media Group, says the price on the newly recorded transactions is fair. “The value of Ross Island was required to be determined by independent appraisal, and the transfer had to be at that value,” Garber says. He adds that Ross Island Sand & Gravel will fulfill its reclamation obligations and did not transfer them to the pension fund. And, he says, Ross Island Sand & Gravel will rent the island from the pension fund at a market rate. Garber declined to share the appraisal of Ross Island, but he insists Pamplin has carried out his fiduciary duty to pensioners. “The pension plan is well funded and has always paid retirees on time and in full,” he says. Deneen, who for more than 20 years worked for the Pension Benefit Guaranty Corporation, the federal agency that bails out financially troubled pension funds, isn’t so sure. After reviewing the Ross Island transactions and the prior ones reported earlier by WW, Deneen called them “one of the most egregious and sustained breaches of fiduciary duty I’ve ever run across. It’s mystifying.” WW also asked James Ambrose, a Portland lawyer with 35 years of pension experience, to review the Ross Island transaction. “A determination that an investment is ‘prudent’ is based on a combination of many factors. Identified in this article is a factual situation which, assuming it is an accurate portrayal, would almost invariably lead one to the conclusion that the acquisition and holding of this particular real estate investment is a breach of fiduciary duty on multiple levels, as well as a violation of the prudence requirement,” Ambrose says. “Valuation questions abound, the methodology behind the acquisition violates federally authorized procedures, zoning considerations are present in spades. Where is the environmental analysis any reasonable third party would require? And what about the lack of suitability of the property for multiple purposes? All raise issues that warrant having the Department of Labor investigate this situation.” Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

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Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com


NEWS BRIAN BRENEMAN

MOVING THE GOALPOSTS: For some students, the obstacles to returning to classrooms are overwhelming.

Locked Out

For some Oregon children—including mine— public schools haven’t reopened. BY S H A S TA K E A R N S M O O R E

Last November, my school board sent an open letter to the community stressing that all students belong. The West Linn-Wilsonville School Board’s well-intentioned letter, aimed at “disrupting systems of racism,” ended with the following: “When you walk into our schools, you are honored and welcome, just as you are.” I read the letter with increasing agitation. Let’s set aside the fact that some WLWV students—like my son—cannot “walk.” The letter’s emphasis on inclusion inside school buildings stood in stark contrast to the many disabled students I knew who still were not back to full-time, in-person school. My own twins, 11, haven’t seen the inside of a classroom in 24 months. Both are on “individual education programs,” which means the district had been getting double the funding of a typical student for them for two years while providing little in exchange. Before the pandemic, each needed multiple services throughout the six-hour school day, including personal aides. At the time the school board sent their letter of inclusion last fall, we were receiving access to a poorly designed and unsupported online portal and up to 90 minutes per week of virtual chitchat—on weeks their overwhelmed teachers didn’t cancel. At the time the school board sent its letter of inclusion, we were receiving access to a poorly designed and unsupported online portal and up to 90 minutes per week of virtual chitchat—on weeks their overwhelmed teachers didn’t cancel. That’s it. Not six hours a day, 30 hours a week of professionally individualized instruction in a warm building with plenty of adults and peers. Just me. At home. With whatever help and energy I could muster. The reason cited by the district? Staffing. It did not have enough support staff to make my twins welcome—even though it is legally required to find them. We were not alone. State Sen. Sara Gelser Blouin (D-Corvallis) says she’s heard from dozens of parents whose disabled children are still not getting the same access to school that typical children get. That has been illegal in the United States since 1975, when Congress passed the precursor to the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, or IDEA.

“What we’re looking at is a complete rollback to the idea that children are entitled to a free and appropriate public education,” Gelser Blouin says. “The law is clear: These kids are entitled to school. There is no question that they are breaking the law.” Her solution was a bill that would have given the Oregon Department of Education the authority to withhold state school funds if disabled students weren’t let back in their school buildings. But Oregon legislative leadership killed the bill in the last week of February. It wasn’t the price tag: Gelser Blouin’s proposal would have cost $3.2 million this biennium and $6.6 million the next to create an investigative unit within ODE. By comparison, Oregon received a $30 million windfall this year to shore up special education. And one of the expenditures that did make it on the docket this session was $150 million for summer learning programs. You know, for the kids who can go to school. Gelser Blouin says she believes Senate Bill 1578A simply created too much paperwork for the Legislature to work through in the short session. That “pales in comparison to the paperwork and the heartache” that families will have to go through to get their children with disabilities an education, Gelser Blouin says. She now fears that disabled children will lose four to five years of formal schooling without this measure as she sees no indication that things will change for them by next fall. Gelser Blouin says she has tallied 70 specific children affected by these practices, and estimates the total number affected in our state is far higher—“at least hundreds.” Perhaps her bill would have helped many of those children get back to school in a matter of weeks, as she says, but I don’t believe it would have done so for mine. At least, not in a way that would be appropriate for their needs. They don’t simply need access to a building. They need thoughtful, competent staff with training and resources. The core problem is the way that schools have been designed—and the state’s long-standing inability to follow through on its promises. Just ask Paul Terdal. A Portland-based management consultant to tech companies and the father of two autistic boys, Terdal has experienced just about every layer of the school complaint

process. He is skeptical that SB 1578A would have resulted in huge changes at the classroom level. Terdal says he just hasn’t seen the Oregon Department of Education use the enforcement mechanisms already at its disposal. “Is ODE actually going to do anything useful if they get this?” he wonders. “What I have seen tells me, frankly, that they probably won’t.” So if the state doesn’t use its sticks, what about carrots? Terdal says he also hasn’t had much luck partnering with schools to advocate for more funding. President Joe Biden did boost special education funding, through the American Rescue Plan and his 2022 budget. It hasn’t seemed to make a difference. Gelser Blouin’s bill would have given “ODE authority to intervene, but they have to want to do it,” Terdal says. “I have not seen that willingness to step up no matter how much money they get.” In a letter supporting Gelser Blouin’s bill, Oregon education chief Colt Gill said his department has “partnered with local districts and [education service districts] to overcome this issue” in some places, but he acknowledges children are still being denied equal access “due to recruitment, training and other challenges.” The Legislature may be more inclined to pass SB 1578 next year, during the long session, but Gelser Blouin says that’s not soon enough. “We have a systemic problem, but we don’t fix it systemically,” she says. Instead, the onus is put on each family, each child, to suffer, then complain and fight to get their needs met. “That is such an offensive idea that we push families to do that,” Gelser Blouin says. In January, at a meeting to develop an on-ramp back into the classroom, the West Linn-Wilsonville district said it couldn’t provide what my boys needed due to staffing concerns. I wasn’t asking for the full day with the full staff they were entitled to—just one hour of an appropriate extracurricular class.

They don’t simply need access to a building. They need thoughtful, competent staff with training and resources. The core problem is the way that schools have been designed—and the state’s longstanding inability to follow through on its promises. I remain skeptical that one bill will fix the problem. I’ve met a lot of school staff over the past seven years, both as a parent and an education reporter. The vast majority have been kind, thoughtful, patient and caring. They often got into special education because they wanted to “do the right thing” by kids with disabilities. I’ve come to the conclusion they simply can’t in our current system, no matter how many letters ODE sends asking for compliance. There aren’t enough adults in the building. There aren’t enough emotionally stable humans (kids and adults) around. There isn’t enough training and experience. There isn’t much universally designed curriculum. And, to be sure, there isn’t enough fun—that stuff that makes learning easy and school worth going to. I ended up pulling my boys out of traditional school in favor of an online public charter, where they are doing well. To be honest, anything would probably have been better than the charade we were in. Our meetings had become a farce. None of the interventions needed from staff were possible because they weren’t physically present. None of them knew much of anything about my kids or how they learn. They’d barely spent any time with them at all. Shasta Kearns Moore is the creator of Medical Motherhood, a weekly newsletter and podcast dedicated to the experience of raising children with disabilities. Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

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Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com


AARON LEE

By most measurements, Oregon’s economy is thriving.

A Portlander’s guide to surviving inflation.

The state rallied from COVID-19 shutdowns like a grounded teenager set free on a Friday night. Almost everybody has a job (unemployment is at 4.3%). Those jobs pay more (wages rose 17% since the start of the pandemic). Josh Lehner, a state economist, put it simply last month: “Today, households are flush with cash and rising wealth.” So why don’t you feel rich? Because a dollar doesn’t buy what it used to. The nation is dealing with its worst period of inflation since the 1970s. The resulting consumer frustration threatens to sink the Biden presidency, submarine Oregon’s economic rebound, and cancel your summer vacation. So it’s time you got a handle on it. First things first: What exactly is inflation? It’s the decline in purchasing power of a currency over time. Say you went to Fred Meyer a year ago and bought a six-pack of Session Premium Lager and a bag of Rold Gold pretzels, and it cost you $10.50. You go back now and it costs you $12.29. That’s 17% inflation. If you haven’t had a raise in a year, it hurts. There are three kinds of inflation, and in the past two years, we’ve seen at least two, and maybe three. The first is called “demand-pull” inflation, and it happens when the supply of money jumps, but the capacity to make stuff doesn’t. That’s exactly what happened during the pandemic. The U.S. government flooded the country with $6 trillion in aid, but no new foundries opened up to make the dumbbells you needed to stay fit while the gym was closed, or the pavers you coveted for your COVID-safe outdoor patio. Next came “cost-push” inflation. The price of oil rose as Vladimir Putin threatened to invade Ukraine, and it spiked when he did, making life miserable if you drive anything bigger than a Honda Fit. The price of oil has soared 41% since Feb. 24, amid concern that Western governments will boycott oil from Russia, the world’s third-largest producer. Finally, there’s “built-in” inflation, the most subtle but significant kind. It happens when workers expect prices to keep going up, so they, in turn, keep asking for higher wages to maintain their standard of living. These days, it’s hard to find a carne asada burrito in Portland for under $10. But it seems like they were $7 just a year ago, right? So, if past is prologue, they’ll probably be $11 in six months, and you’d be a chump to work for the same wage then as you do now. “In order for you to get a $6 sandwich delivered to your house, somebody’s probably suffering somewhere in there, you know?” says Ann Garcia, a Portland fiduciary financial adviser. “Somebody’s being taken advantage of to get that. It’s quite possible that some of these services that we’ve come to rely on the last five years are going to be a little harder to come by.” Suddenly, spending requires some study. In the following pages, we’ve provided CliffsNotes. We found the lowest prices on some of the groceries that keep getting more costly (page 14). We asked a gas station owner to predict Putin’s impact on petrol (page 16) and quizzed financial planner Garcia on which major purchases should wait (page 17). And naturally, we’ll tell you whether bitcoin is the silver bullet (spoiler: It isn’t, but the story’s on page 18). We can’t stop prices from rising. But we can help you navigate the rise. After all, this newspaper is still free.

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

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AARON LEE

10 Items for Less We went bargain hunting for the groceries that jumped in price. BY C A L L E Y H A I R

@C alleyN H air

These days, a grocery aisle feels like a gauntlet. You’re surrounded by products that cost way more than you remember. It’s not just nostalgia for a simpler time (say, 2019). National inflation hitting 7.5% last month means the cost of living is rising at its fastest rate since 1982. On the West Coast, prices are climbing even faster—we should expect to pay 7.7% more this year for food, energy and housing compared to last year, according to the latest Consumer Price Index report. The pain is especially acute at the checkout stand. We don’t blame you for snarling at the automated checker as your weekly grocery bill climbs above $200. But if you’re trying to keep your head above the soda water, here’s a tiny life raft: We’ve scoured the greater Portland area to round up the best deals on groceries and other necessities. It’s not as good as a COLA—you’ll have to take that one up with your boss—but hey: Cheap gas is cheap gas. We also tracked down a few of the best bargains for eating out. Because it’s 2022, and you deserve a freaking treat. 14

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GROCERIES AND NECESSITIES A DOZEN EGGS: Up 31.3% between January 2021 and January 2022 BEST DEAL: Grocery Outlet, $1.99 RUNNERS-UP: WinCo, $2.29; Trader Joe’s, $2.49. Among grocery items, eggs saw one of the sharpest price increases in the past year. These prices are for the cheapest eggs we could find—regardless of origin. If the cage-free distinction is important to you, your best bet is Fred Meyer, where a carton of organic, cage-free eggs costs $2.79. RIB-EYE STEAK: Up 19% (all steak, not just rib-eye) between January 2021 and January 2022 BEST DEAL: WinCo, $11.88 a pound RUNNERS-UP: Grocery Outlet, $11.99 a pound; Fred Meyer, $15.99 a pound ($9.77 for club card members during specials). All meat prices are rising, but beef is going up like somebody strapped rocket boosters on a steer. It’s not necessarily the first grocery category most shoppers would want to cut corners on (maybe generic cereal instead?), but you can find bargains on good product—even a desirable cut like a rib-eye remains pretty reasonable at WinCo. And because stores need to sell red meat products fairly quickly, you can get screaming deals like the one we found for Fred Meyer cardholders, especially if you’re flexible about the cut of steak you want. A GALLON OF GAS: Up by 46.4% between January 2021 and January 2022 BEST DEAL: Arco, $3.63 (cash), $3.69 (debit), 2714 NE 112th Ave., Vancouver, Wash.

RUNNERS-UP: Space Age Fuel, $3.95, 7912 NE Martin Luther King Jr. Blvd.; 76, $3.99, 5305 N Lombard St. You’re gonna have a hard time finding a gallon of gas in Portland under $4 right now. Across the city, the going rate for the first week of March 2022 hovered around $4.15, and prices at a couple of stations even rose above $5 a gallon (see “Gassed Up,” page 16). But with a bit of hunting, the under-$4 unicorn does exist. A killer deal can be found across the Columbia River, especially if you pay in cash. Within Portland, try the 76 station in St. Johns and the Space Age Fuel just north of Woodland Park. TOILET PAPER: Up 15.6% between May 2020 and May 2021 BEST DEAL: Grocery Outlet, 29 cents a roll (24 for $6.99) RUNNERS-UP: WinCo, 36 cents a roll (12 for $4.38); Everyday Deals, 50 cents a roll (12 for $6). The early pandemic days of TP rationing are over, which allows you to be choosy about how you wipe. It’s a very personal choice. But if you don’t have any strong feelings on the matter: Grocery Outlet offers the best price per roll. Do with that information what you will, and let’s not discuss it further. A SIX-PACK OF IPA: Up 1.8% (all beer, not just IPA) between January 2021 and January 2022 BEST DEAL: Trader Joe’s Boatswain Hazy IPA, $4.99 RUNNERS-UP: Grocery Outlet’s Silver Moon Catch and Release IPA, $7.99; WinCo’s McKenzie Brewing Winter IPA, $8.85 (plus a wide selection of other beer starting at $8.98). In the grand tradition of its famous Two Buck Chuck wine, Trader Joe’s offers absurdly affordable booze options under its own name brand. If you’re not too discerning a drinker, it’s a cost-effective alternative. But if


you’re looking for a wider-ranging selection, both Grocery Outlet and WinCo boast an enormous collection of Oregon-brewed beers for less than $9 a six-pack. A LOAF OF SOURDOUGH BREAD: Up 0.6% between January 2021 and January 2022 BEST DEAL: Grocery Outlet, $1.99 RUNNERS-UP: WinCo, $3.08; Trader Joe’s, $3.49. The price of bread, at least, has remained fairly stable across the country. Keep in mind that each of these is a sliced and wrapped sourdough loaf. For a fresh, crusty loaf of bread baked on site, prices start at $3.99 at both WinCo and Fred Meyer.

EATING OUT AN ICE CREAM SUNDAE OUR PICK: Angel Donuts and Ice Cream, $4.45 for a sundae, $5.45 for a double sundae, 18340 SE Stark St. The focus of this unassuming, old-school doughnut shop is, well, doughnuts. But it also offers more than a dozen flavors of ice cream, and customers can choose between classic single, double or triple scoop cones, or treat themselves to a reasonably priced sundae. Dairy Queen might be cheaper, but Angel brings panache and ganache. STREET TACOS OUR PICK: Su Casa Taqueria cart, $1.50 each, 145 SE 82nd Ave. ALSO TRY: Taqueria Market, $1.99 each, 11505 NE Fourth Plain Blvd., Vancouver, Wash. A taco from a food truck just hits different, and this well-reviewed gem off East Burnside Street is priced right. Diners can pick from pollo, pastor, carnitas and chorizo for $1.50 apiece, though some meat options— asada, lengua, pescado—will cost a few cents more.

Another delicious, affordable option is the Taqueria Market along Vancouver’s multicultural Fourth Plain corridor. This Mexican bakery and market features a grill in its parking lot where you can get a killer plate of tacos to go. If you’re looking for something a little heartier, the burritos won’t disappoint, either. PIZZA OUR PICK: Life of Pie, $7 Margherita pizza during happy hour 11 am-6 pm, 1765 NW 23rd Ave. Technically, this is a happy hour deal. But when happy hour is a full seven hours long, does that distinction really even matter? Life of Pie’s Margherita pizza is the platonic ideal of a Margherita pizza: crackly crust, melty cheese, and topped with just enough restraint that you can still taste each specific ingredient. The pizza makes a meal for one, but for two or more, it’s a light snack. For best results, share over wine. A LATTE OUR PICK: Bennett Urban Farm Store, $3, 276 E Main St., Hillsboro. ALSO TRY: Nossa Familia Coffee, $4, 1350 NW Lovejoy St. First of all, we know: If you’re not already there, Hillsboro is a haul. But come on—it’s a $3 latte! In 2022! We even reached out to the owner directly to confirm, because you’d be hard-pressed to find a comparably priced 12-ounce latte anywhere else. But it’s true. Owner Mark Bennett adds that he roasts all the beans himself, in addition to owning and operating the little market. For a shorter detour from your daily commute, Nossa Familia Coffee offers highly rated lattes for a reasonable $4 at its three locations across Portland. Similar shops tend to cost around $4.50 (Good Coffee) or $4.75 (Deadstock).

METHODOLOGY To hunt down the cheapest prices in the city, we pulled from a variety of sources. For gas, we looked for service stations that listed their prices online or were consistently rated as “cheap” or “affordable” in reviews. We reached out to the stations to confirm those prices with staff to ensure they were up to date, and then drove around the Portland metro area to compare those with the gas prices of about a dozen other stations scattered in different neighborhoods. To find the best grocery bargains, we hit up five affordable to midrange grocers. Four out of the five are chains, and while we can’t speak for prices across all locations, they’re likely consistent with what we found at these specific stores: • WinCo Foods, 1950 NE 122nd Ave. • Everyday Deals Grocery Liquidators, 600 SE 146th Ave. • Grocery Outlet, 4420 NE Hancock St. • Trader Joe’s, 2122 NW Glisan St. • Fred Meyer, 1111 NE 102nd Ave. Eating out is a little more subjective (we could track down a $3 pizza, but you probably wouldn’t want to eat it). We decided to forgo the flat-out cheapest price in favor of the best bang for your buck, though the experience of dining out is particular to individual tastes. We scoured online reviews, Reddit threads and past media coverage; we crowdsourced from friends and drew from our own past experiences. All of the prices are in the single-digit range, and are items you’ll actually enjoy consuming.

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

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Gassed Up Putin’s war in Ukraine means $5 gallons of gas are imminent at Portland service stations. BY A N T H O N Y E F F I N G E R

aef finger@wweek .com

Every day at 5 am, Chris Huiard gets up and figures out how much you’re going to pay for gas. He looks at prices he got from his suppliers the night before, checks prices on the New York Mercantile Exchange, and looks at what the competition is doing. Then he calls his stations and tells them what numbers to put up. Sometimes, he lets his 6-year-old say the new price. In Oregon these days, that number is about $4.60 a gallon. Huiard is a vice president at Space Age Fuel, which operates 23 gas stations in the Pacific Northwest. He’s been pricing gasoline for 15 years, and he’s never experienced anything like the spike in the past two weeks. “I’ve never seen the price go up 70 cents in a week,” Huiard says. “It’s just up, up, up.” 16

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

Contrary to what you might think, that’s not good news for gasmen like Huiard. Gas prices are driven by oil prices, and oil soared over $100 a barrel late last month and kept going higher, hitting $129.44 on March 8. Refiners are paying more for oil, and they’re passing the increase on to stations. But it’s harder to raise prices at retail, so stations often lose money during spikes. “Margins on gas aren’t huge,” Huiard says. “You’re at the mercy of the market.” So who’s to blame? Right now, it’s Vladimir Putin. Russia is the world’s third-largest producer of oil, and it’s possible the U.S. and Europe will slap sanctions on Russian production, curtailing supply. Even the threat of that has buyers avoiding Russian producers, according to The New York Times, so supplies are tighter than they were when Putin invaded neighboring Ukraine on Feb. 24. The price of oil is up 41% since then, and gas is following it. Much of Oregon’s gas starts as oil in Alaska, western Canada and North Dakota. Refineries near Bellingham, Wash., turn it into gasoline and put it in the Olympic Pipeline, which runs to storage tanks near Linnton, along the edge of Forest Park. Because oil trades on international markets and can be shipped all over, events in Russia affect the price of gas in Stumptown. Oregonians already pay some of the highest gas prices in the nation, in part because of taxes atop the federal levy of 18.4 cents. On Jan. 1, the state raised the gas tax 2 cents a gallon to 38 cents. Portland collects another 10 cents a gallon—used to fix the city’s potholes. The average gas price in Multnomah County on March 8

was $4.69, according to the American Automobile Association. Things are worse in California. On March 3, San Francisco became the first city in the U.S. to average more than $5 a gallon, according to gas price-tracking service GasBuddy. Gabriel Zirkle, president of the Oregon Fuels Association and owner of 50 stations, says Portland prices are heading that way. His recommendation: buy today. “If you fill up every day, you’ll do yourself a favor,” Zirkle says. “That quarter tank you buy is going to be more expensive tomorrow than it is today.” Zirkle stops short of recommending that we fill jugs with gas because, like milk, gas is perishable. After long periods, it degrades and turns into turpentine, he says. Huiard and Zirkle say Oregonians should get used to paying these prices for gas. Oregon’s new cap-and-trade climate measures are going to curtail supply in coming years, they say. And Vladimir Putin shows no signs of packing up his tanks and rolling back to Moscow. It might be a good time to buy a bike. They were hard to come by at the height of the pandemic because COVID closed factories in Asia just as Americans went stir crazy and turned to cycling, en masse. “Things are starting to get better,” says Michael Jellinek, owner of Cyclepath in Northeast Portland. “We have enough parts to make anyone’s bike work now, and we have lots of bikes on the floor.” Go by bike, indeed.


MICK HANGLAND-SKILL

MICK HANGLAND-SKILL

The Waiting Game We asked a financial adviser: Should you break the bank on big purchases, or hold out? BY A A R O N M E S H

amesh@wweek .com

Say what you will about sitting inside the house alone: It’s inexpensive. Two years of little spending and great boredom have left many Oregonians atop a pandemic nest egg. Combine those savings with cabin fever, and now feels like the moment to drop that money into something life-changing. Of course, you already know the catch. Nothing is affordable. If inflation means everyday shopping is painful, it’s also moved the goalposts on big buys. Houses, cars, vacations: They’re all prohibitively costly, just at the moment they feel most meaningful. So it goes: Desire is suffering. But a lot of us could use advice on how to budget for the bank-breaking purchases we can’t let go. So WW consulted Ann Garcia, a certified financial planner with Independent Progressive Advisors in Cedar Hills. We asked for her counsel on five big-ticket items, and she told us whether she’d buy now or hold out for prices to drop.

HOUSE VERDICT: WAIT. Home shopping in Portland is a loselose scenario. On the one hand, interest rates are rising. That tends to correlate with prices dropping, and lower mortgage payments. Which means you should exercise patience—except that Portland’s grotesquely tight housing crunch shows no signs of being eased by new supply. Garcia’s advice is simple enough to embroider on a towel: Don’t panic. “It’s easy to get caught up in the market: ‘Oh my gosh, if I don’t get in now, I never will,’” she says. “But the way that you lose in real estate is by transacting frequently. Buy the house you want. And if doing that lets you stay in a house seven years rather than two, you’re better off seven years down the road.”

CAR VERDICT: WAIT. This one is easier. Inflation of vehicle prices is tied directly to supply shortages—and unlike the housing market, the supply of Subarus can self-correct fairly quickly. In the meantime, dealers have you where they want you. “The dealer markups are way up,” Garcia says, “because they know they can charge whatever they want.” What once was a $1,500 markup is now $7,000. “That’s not money you wanna spend,” Garcia adds, “because you’re not getting anything better for the extra money.” Lately, she’s been advising clients to consider leasing—at least until more Toyotas start landing at the Port of Portland shipyards.

COLLEGE VERDICT: BUY LOCAL. Waiting a couple more years for a house or car is palatable. But delaying an education? “Your 18-year-old is 18, and they’re expecting to go this year,” Garcia concedes. That probably means tossing out the acceptance letter from Stanford and looking at in-state tuition offers. “Not every kid needs to go to an $80,000-a-year private school,” she says. “Our in-state public schools are very generous with good students.” In other words: Consider Portland State. And don’t forget that Oregon now offers free community college through a program called Oregon Promise—dual enrollment for the first two years could be the affordable route to a fouryear degree.

COUCH OR DECK VERDICT: WAIT. A recent visit to City Liquidators confirms: Inflation has hit furniture hard. Lumber’s even worse. Supply-chain gaps have made the home improvement projects that passed the pandemic months a luxury now. Garcia notes another factor: “You’ve got worker shortages, and a lot of furniture is actually produced in this country.” Until the labor market settles out, Wayfair has to pay a premium for loveseat assembly, and it’ll pass the cost of wages on to you. Brush the cat hair off the ottoman and wait it out.

VACATION VERDICT: SPEND CREATIVELY. Garcia offered her advice in a Zoom call from Palm Springs, Calif.—where she’s spending March in a winter vacation house rental. Envy her if you wish, but the lesson is that remote work means people who can afford it are gobbling woodland cabins and beachfront cottages. Supply didn’t grow—but demand did. Worse: Airfare is astronomical. The typical advice in these circumstances is a staycation. But Garcia’s not sure that’s a panacea, given Oregon’s recent history and drought conditions: “The challenge of staying local is, what’s fire season going to look like this summer?” She recommends staying flexible. A vacation is still affordable, so long as you look for the places people aren’t flocking. “The people who come out of this worst are the ones who are like, ‘I am going to do X, Y and Z.’ If you’re willing to say, instead, ‘Our family vacation budget is X—let’s figure out what we can do for that money,’ chances are you’ll come up with a lot of good, good options.”

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

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Bitcoin or Bust? Everybody went ape for cryptocurrency. Here’s some sane advice as it crashes. BY A N T H O N Y E F F I N G E R

aef finger@wweek .com

This was supposed to be bitcoin’s moment to shine. Inflation is running wild, and Vladimir Putin is making not so veiled threats about nuclear war. A super-secure, super-rare digital currency was supposed to be the thing that would hold its value in the face of a twin shitstorm. Instead, bitcoin has crashed, trading at $39,040 on March 8, down almost half from an all-time high of $69,000 in November. It looks more like the Russian ruble than a bar of gold. So, is now the time to buy? If all the crypto bros loved bitcoin at nosebleed prices, should you like it now that it’s closer to earth? Will it start to behave the way its fans say it should during these troubled times and make you rich? To answer that question, you have to know a few things about inflation, and about bitcoin. CAN BITCOIN DODGE INFLATION? First, inflation: It’s defined as a general increase in prices. Not just for beer or bok choy, but for everything. It often happens when there are too many dollars chasing too few goods. That’s what’s happening now. The U.S. government wrote millions of checks to help people get through the pandemic. The Federal Reserve kept interest rates low to encourage people to borrow, and borrowing creates 18

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

money (trust us on that one). To top it off, the stock market rallied, making the rich richer. At the same time, supply chains got tangled, and it became impossible to get all the outdoor fire pits, cross-country skis, and huge TVs that we wanted, so people became willing to part with more of those abundant dollars to get them. Boom, inflation. Now, bitcoin. Unlike the dollar and other “fiat” currencies, the number of bitcoins is limited to 21 million, once they are all unlocked by “miners” who get paid in new bitcoins to maintain the computerized ledger that keeps track of who owns how much of it. Because no one can print huge numbers of bitcoins— like the U.S. government can with dollars—there should never be too many bitcoins chasing too few goods, so bitcoin should hold its value in the face of inflation. Instead, it has been falling. SO WHAT WENT WRONG? Brandon Wooters, a financial adviser at Edward Jones, says to avoid bitcoin and other cryptocurrencies, no matter what the price. “My clients aren’t in this for the roller-coaster ride,” Wooters says. There aren’t any sales or earnings, like with stocks, or interest payments, like with bonds, to help investors estimate the value of bitcoin, Wooters says. “The price of bitcoin is determined only by what people are willing to pay for it.” And, while there are only ever going to be 21 million bitcoins in existence, there are dozens of other cryptocoins—ethereum, avalanche, cardano, solana, polkadot, monero, TRON, dogecoin (created as a joke)—with more being minted every day. Talk about inflation. “If you have Paris Hilton issuing her own crypto product then the whole concept of limited issuance is out the window,” says Chris Abbruzzese, co-founder of Rain Capital Management. Earlier this year, Hilton issued a series of non-fungible tokens, pieces of digital art whose uniqueness is guaranteed by a blockchain, the technology underpinning cryptocurrencies. NFTs are the web’s answer to collecting baseball cards. They appeal to the same people buying

bitcoin, further swamping the crypto bazaar. IF NOT BITCOIN, THEN WHAT? So what is an investor to do about inflation? You’ve got to do something, because if inflation is running at 7.5%, then that $1,000 you have stashed in your mattress is losing $75 a year in terms of what you can buy with it. Both Wooters and Abbruzzese suggest something much less exotic: stocks. And not sexy, money-losing tech stocks. You need companies that churn out reliable sales and earnings. Inflation is a vicious cycle. Prices go up, so workers demand higher wages to make ends meet. They spend the increase on more goods, prices go higher, and so on. Moneymaking companies can raise the prices of their products when the cost of labor rises, preserving profit. “Stocks have built-in inflation protection,” Wooters says. So, how do you find moneymaking stocks? There are lots of them clustered in index funds focused on “value.” On Wall Street, a value stock is one that hasn’t soared into the stratosphere because people think it’s going to be the next Google. For example, an exchange-traded fund called the SPDR Portfolio S&P 500 Value ETF (symbol: SPYV) owns companies like Johnson & Johnson, Exxon Mobil, and Walt Disney. Each might be evil in its own way, but all of them produce relatively reliable sales and earnings. Other funds avoid oil and gas but retain inflation protection by holding big, established names. The SPDR S&P 500 Fossil Fuel Reserves Free ETF (symbol: SPYX) owns companies like Apple, Microsoft, Alphabet, Amazon, and Berkshire Hathaway, which have pricing power and churn out consistent earnings. Still bitcoin curious? Mike Zaccardi, an investment writer who contributes to a no-nonsense site called HumbleDollar, says it makes sense to put a tiny portion of your nest egg into crypto, just in case crypto boosters are right and it is the future of money. “At 1 or 2 percent of your portfolio, you’re not going to lose your shirt,” Zaccardi says.


WILLAMETTE WEEK

Saturday, March 26 @ 8pm

Alberta Rose Theatre

Featuring this city‛s top five comics, as chosen by their peers.

TICKETS ON $ALE NOW!

bit.ly/FUNFIVE

PRESENTED BY

Hosted by

Katie Nguyen

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

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SPECIAL ADVERTISEMENT FEATURE

OR residents scramble to get last Walking Liberty Rolls OREGON - Once Oregon residents got wind that Oregon State Restricted Bank Rolls filled with Silver Walking Liberties dating back to the early 1900’s were being handed over, there was a mad dash to get them. That’s because some of these U.S. Gov’t issued silver coins are already worth hundreds in collector value. “It’s like a run on the banks. The phones are ringing off the hook. That’s because everyone is trying to get them before they’re all gone,” according to officials at the National Mint and Treasury who say they can barely keep up with all the orders. In fact, they had to impose a strict limit of 4 Oregon State Restricted Bank Rolls. So, if you get the chance to get your hands on these State Restricted Bank Rolls you better hurry because hundreds of Oregon residents already have and you don’t want to miss out. You see, the U.S. Gov’t stopped mint-

ing these Silver Walking Liberties in 1947 and there can never be any more which makes them extremely collectible. And here’s the best part. The rolls are unsearched so there’s no telling how much they could be worth in collector value. That’s why at just the $39 state minimum set by National Mint and Treasury it’s a deal too good to pass up. But you better hurry because these Oregon State Restricted Bank Rolls are the only ones known to exist and Oregon residents are grabbing them up as fast as they can. That’s because they make amazing gifts for children, grandchildren and loved ones. Just imagine the look on their face when you hand them one of the State Restricted Rolls — they’ll tell everyone they know what you did for them.

■ GOT ‘EM: Residents all across Oregon who get their hands on these State Restricted Silver Walking Liberty Bank Rolls are definitely showing them off. That’s because they are the only ones known to exist. And here’s the best part, these Bank Rolls are loaded with U.S. Gov’t issued Silver Walking Liberty coins some dating back to the early 1900’s and worth up to 100 times their face value so everyone wants them.

Last State Restricted Silver Walking Liberty Bank Rolls go to Oregon residents Oregon residents get first dibs on last remaining Bank Rolls loaded with U.S. Gov’t issued Silver Walking Liberties dating back to the early 1900’s some worth up to 100 times their face value for the next 2 days

STATE DISTRIBUTION: A strict limit of 4 State Restricted Bank Rolls per OR resident has been imposed OREGON - “It’s a miracle these State Restricted Bank Rolls even exist. That’s why Hotline Operators are bracing for the flood of calls,” said Laura Lynne, U.S. Coin and Currency Director for the National Mint and Treasury. For the next 2 days the last remaining State of Oregon Restricted Bank Rolls loaded with rarely seen U.S. Gov’t issued Silver Walking Liberties are actually being handed over to Oregon residents who call the State Toll-Free Hotlines listed in today’s newspaper publication. “National Mint and Treasury recently spoke with its Chief Professional Numismatist who said ‘Very few people have ever actually saw one of these rarely seen Silver Walking Liberties issued by the U.S. Gov’t back in the early 1900’s. But to actually find them sealed away in State Restricted Bank Rolls is like finding buried treasure. So anyone lucky enough to get their hands on these Bank Rolls had better hold on to them,’” Lynne said. “Now that the State of Oregon Restricted Bank Rolls are being offered up we won’t be surprised if thousands of Oregon residents claim the maximum limit allowed of 4 Bank Rolls per resident before they’re all gone,” said Lynne. “That’s because after the Bank Rolls

(Continued on next page)

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Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

SILVER: one of the last silver coins minted for circulation

ENLARGED TO SHOW DETAIL: year varies 1916-1947

LAST REMAINING: minted in philadelphia, denver & san francisco

RARELY SEEN: minted by the u.s. mint in the early 1900’s R1043R-5


SPECIAL ADVERTISEMENT FEATURE

(Continued from previous page)

were loaded with 15 rarely seen Silver Walking Liberties, each verified to meet a minimum collector grade of very good or above, the dates and mint marks of the U.S. Gov’t issued Silver Walking Liberty Half Dollars sealed away inside the State of Oregon Restricted Bank Rolls have never been searched. But, we do know that some of these coins date clear back to the early 1900’s and are worth up to 100 times their face value, so there is no telling what Oregon residents will find until they sort through all the coins,” Lynne went on to say. And here’s the best part. If you are a resident of the state of Oregon you cover only the $39 per coin state minimum set by the National Mint and Treasury, that’s fifteen rarely seen U.S. Gov’t issued Silver Walking Liberties worth up to 100 times their face value for just $585 which is a real steal because non state residents must pay $118 per coin which totals $1,770 if any coins remain after the 2-day deadline. The only thing Oregon residents need to do is call the State Toll-Free Hotlines printed in today’s newspaper publication before the 2-day order deadline ends. “Rarely seen U.S. Gov’t issued silver coins like these are highly sought after, but we’ve never seen anything like this before. According to The Official Red Book, a Guide Book of United States Coins many Silver Walking Liberty Half Dollars are now worth $40 - $825 each in collector value,” Lynne said. “We’re guessing thousands of Oregon residents will be taking the maximum limit of 4 Bank Rolls because they make such amazing gifts for any occasion for children, parents, grandparents, friends and loved ones,” Lynne continued. “We know the phones will be ringing off the hook. That’s why hundreds of Hotline Operators are standing by to answer the phones beginning at 8:30 am this morning. We’re going to do our best, but with just 2 days to answer all the calls it won’t be easy. So make sure to tell everyone to keep calling if all lines are busy. We’ll do our best to answer them all.” Lynne said. The only thing readers of today’s newspaper publication need to do is make sure they are a resident of the state of Oregon and call the National Toll-Free Hotlines before the 2-day deadline ends midnight tomorrow. ■

HOW TO CLAIM THE LAST STATE RESTRICTED BANK ROLLS FACTS:

If you are a Oregon State Resident read the important information below about claiming the State Silver Bank Rolls, then call the State Toll-Free Hotline at 8:30 am: 1-800-979-3771 EXT: RWB4360

Are these Silver Walking Liberties worth more than other half dollars:

Yes. These U.S. Gov’t issued Silver Walking Liberties were minted in the early 1900’s and will never be minted again. That makes them extremely collectible. The vast majority of half dollars minted after 1970 have no silver content at all and these Walking Liberties were one of the last silver coins minted for circulation. That’s why many of them now command hundreds in collector value so there’s no telling how much they could be worth in collector value someday.

How much are State Restricted Walking Liberty Silver Bank Rolls worth:

It’s impossible to say, but some of these U.S Gov’t issued Walking Liberties dating back to the early 1900’s are worth up to 100 times the face value and there are 15 in each Bank Roll so you better hurry if you want to get your hands on them. Collector values always fluctuate and there are never any guarantees. But we do know they are the only Oregon State Silver Bank Rolls known to exist and Walking Liberties are highly collectible so anyone lucky enough to get their hands on these Silver Bank Rolls should hold onto them because there’s no telling how much they could be worth in collector value someday.

Why are so many Oregon residents claiming them:

Because they are the only State Restricted Walking Liberty Silver Bank Rolls known to exist and everyone wants their share. Each Bank Roll contains a whopping 15 Silver Walking Liberties dating back to the early 1900’s some worth up to 100 times their face value. Best of all Oregon residents are guaranteed to get them for the state minimum set by the National Mint and Treasury of just $39 per Silver Walking Liberty for the next two days.

How do I get the State Restricted Walking Liberty Silver Bank Rolls:

Oregon residents are authorized to claim up to the limit of 4 State Restricted Walking Liberty Silver Bank Rolls by calling the State Toll Free Hotline at 1-800-979-3771 Ext. RWB4360 starting at precisely 8:30 am this morning. Everyone who does is getting the only State Restricted Walking Liberty Silver Bank Rolls known to exist. That’s a full Bank Roll containing 15 Silver Walking Liberties from the early 1900’s some worth up to 100 times their face value for just the state minimum set by the National Mint and Treasury of just $39 per Silver Walking Liberty, which is just $585 for the full Bank Rolls and that’s a real steal because non state residents are not permitted to call before 5 pm tomorrow and must pay $1,770 for each Oregon State Restricted Walking Liberty Silver Bank Roll if any remain.

R1043R-5

NATIONAL MINT AND TREASURY, LLC IS NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE U.S. MINT, THE U.S. GOVERNMENT, A BANK OR ANY GOVERNMENT AGENCY. IF FOR ANY REASON WITHIN 30 DAYS FROM SHIPMENT YOU ARE DISSATISFIED, RETURN THE PRODUCT FOR A REFUND LESS SHIPPING AND RETURN POSTAGE. THIS SAME OFFER MAY BE MADE AVAILABLE AT A LATER DATE OR IN A DIFFERENT GEOGRAPHICAL LOCATION. OH RESIDENTS ADD 6.5% SALES TAX. NATIONAL MINT AND TREASURY, PO BOX 35609, CANTON, OH 44735 ©2021 NATIONAL MINT AND TREASURY. Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

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STARTERS

T H E MOST I MP ORTANT P O RTLA N D C U LTU R E STORI E S OF T H E W E E K—G RA P H E D .

R E A D M O R E A B O U T TH E S E STO R I E S AT WW E E K .CO M .

RIDICULOUS

THIS IS YOUR SIGN TO TAKE A VERY DEEP BREATH.

The Hollywood Theatre is hosting the Found Footage Festival, a collection of zany shorts from thrifted VHS tapes.

For the first time since the start of the pandemic, Oaks Amusement Park’s season will not be canceled or delayed by COVID. The Oregon Beer Awards will be back, in person, at Revolution Hall this spring.

N E W S T U D E N T I N T R O : 3 0 DAYS F O R $ 3 0

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3014 NE KILLINGSWORTH / 4029 SE HAWTHORNE WWW.THEPEOPLESYOGA.ORG @THEPEOPLESYOGAPDX

All job locations are in Portland.

AW E S O M E

Portland Saturday Market kicks off its 49th season on time this month after a challenging two years.

GROW A CAREER! No experience is required for custodians, but customer service and/or cleaning experience always helps. WHAT WE NEED FROM YOU: Punctuality and reliability. Ability to pass a short multiple choice skills test about equipment, safety, and best practices in the field. Basic computer skills to clock in/out. Ability to perform essential duties/ physical tasks (see job posting). Ability to pass a background check after job offer. SUPPORT IN SUCCESS: This job is represented by the Service Employees International Union (SEIU) and offers access to the Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Paid training and continued career support from our leaders. $16.70 - $20.92 / hour OTHER GREAT PERKS: Paid Holidays. Medical, Dental, Vision, and PERS retirement benefits for full-time. Opportunities for overtime work. Paid sick leave and other paid time off (PTO). Swing shifts Mon.-Fri. (afternoons into evenings)

The Portland Youth Philharmonic wins the 2022 Schnitzer Wonder Award and a $10,000 prize.

Three historic Black landmarks in Portland are added to the National Register of Historic Places.

From breweries to restaurants to flower shops, Portland businesses hold fundraisers for Ukraine.

View jobs and apply online at http://careers.pps.net and search for “custodian” SERIOUS 22

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

Whale watching along the Oregon Coast begins without guides this month, but Depoe Bay’s Whale Watch Center should reopen in April.

AW F U L

Portland Public Schools envisions every student, every teacher, every school succeeding. It takes a community to keep our schools comfortable and safe so that our students can thrive.

After showing second-run films for 16 years, the Academy Theater is going first run only.


GET BUSY

STUFF TO DO IN PORTLAND THIS WEEK, INDOORS AND OUT.

CO U R T E SY T R I CYC L E R E CO R DS

DESIGN / BUILD REMODELING HANDYMAN SERVICES SOLAR ENERGY

� LISTEN | Geographer with Chong the Nomad If you’re in the mood for some synth pop, the Doug Fir Lounge has you covered—Geographer, Mike Deni’s San Francisco indie rock and synth band, will be performing there with Chong the Nomad, aka Alda Agustiano. Geographer recently released their fourth album, Down and Out in the Garden of Earthly Delights, and Seattle-based Agustiano has some serious Marvel street cred: She contributed to the Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings soundtrack. Doug Fir Lounge, 830 E Burnside St., 503231-9663, dougfirlounge.com. 9 pm Friday, March 11. $15. 21+. � GO | Shamrock Run

It’s been three years since we’ve been able to have a proper St. Patrick’s Day—one where you get piss-drunk while hopping from bar to bar, all of which are inevitably playing Dropkick Murphys on a loop. Since the pandemic forced everyone to break tradition, why not start a new one? Before you begin downing pints of Guinness, get a little exercise in by signing up for Shamrock Run, which is back for the first time since 2019. There will be beer waiting at the finish line as motivation. Starting line at Southwest 2nd Avenue and Pine Street, shamrockrunportland.com. 8 am Sunday, March 13. $50-$99.

⚯ LEARN | In Search of the Perfect Cup

You undoubtedly know that you live in one of the greatest coffee regions in the world. But can you pinpoint what, exactly, makes our java stand out? University of Oregon professor Christopher Hendon—aka Dr. Coffee—will do just that in this online seminar when he explains how the state’s water quality affects the chemistry of the beverage. By the end of the lecture, you should have a new appreciation for coffee’s myriad of flavors, which can be just as complex as world-class beer or wine. Request webinar link at stewardship@uoregon.edu or 541-3462113. 3 pm Tuesday, March 15. Free.

 EAT | Snack Fest

ARE YOU READY TO RUN IT ON SUN?

Warm up for a summer that’s becoming increasingly packed with pre-pandemic-sized eating events with Snack Fest, hosted in the same space as the Portland Night Market. For two evenings, the labyrinthine warehouse and patio will be taken over by 135 vendors, including local restaurants and food trucks outside and artisans selling crafts indoors. The event is free, which means you’ll be bumping elbows with other snackers (seriously, it’s a spill hazard), so get there when it opens to avoid the crowds. Portland Night Market, 100 SE Alder St., 360798-1310, snackfestpdx.com. 5 pm Friday, noon Saturday, March 11-12. Free.

Have you ever wondered how much solar power could reduce your energy bills? It’s easy to find out with a Solar Assessment from Neil Kelly. And with generous Federal, State and EnergyTrust incentives available to Oregon homeowners, there’s never been a better time to plug into the power of the sun!

SEE | Leave Your Troubles at the Door

neilkelly.com/go-solar or call 503.288.7461

The Funhouse Lounge wants you to leave your troubles at the door—literally. At this comedy show, audience members will unearth their inner anguish, inscribe it on a piece of paper and hand it off to a team of ready-to-riff comedians. Cathartic? Embarrassing? Both? You be the judge. Chris Hudson hosts, and the participating comedians are Julia Corral, Amelia Evans, Cameron Peloso, Drew Grizzly, Seth Allen and Nariko Ott. Funhouse Lounge, 2432 SE 11th Ave., 503-841-6734, funhouselounge. com. 9:30 pm Friday, March 11. $4-$5. 21+.

SCHEDULE A COMPLIMENTARY SOLAR ASSESSMENT

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Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

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Top 5

Buzz List WHERE TO DRINK THIS WEEK.

1. TURN! TURN! TURN!

8 NE Killingsworth St., 503-284-6019, turnturnturnpdx.com. 4-10 pm Wednesday-Monday. Open later on event nights. You’ll still find records and CDs for sale at this bar, music venue and event space, as well as food and drink. However, the menu has changed under the new ownership. Where there was once a toaster oven and hot dog-centric dishes, there is now an Instant Pot, a rice cooker and a slow cooker for an intentionally simple lineup of brown rice and black bean bowls with various garnishes. Six Northwest beers are on tap, and there’s a refrigerator case full of more beverages. Behind the bar there’s also liquor, though no cocktails per se—order as you would in a dive bar or most rock clubs.

2. PUNCH BOWL SOCIAL

340 SW Morrison St., #4305, 503-3340360, punchbowlsocial.com/location/ portland. 11 am-11 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 am-1 am Friday-Saturday. If you’re looking for a bar to hunker down in and watch nonstop March Madness games, head to Punch Bowl Social. Sure, the 32,000-square-foot gaming palace may be in a mall, but it fills a wonderful niche in downtown Portland—there’s something on the menu for everyone, a deep beer list and creative cocktails, to boot. New brunch items like chicken and biscuits, raspberry waffles and Southwest green chorizo fries should also help you fuel up for those early-morning matches.

3. SUCKERPUNCH

1030 SE Belmont St., 503-208-4022, suckerpunch.bar. 6-11 pm Thursday-Sunday. Suckerpunch, the locally based business that started as a no-booze cocktail kit vendor in 2020, has launched an experimental pop-up in the Goat Blocks— further proof the alcohol-free trend is gaining steam after a well-documented spike in pandemic drinking. Here, you’ll find a regular rotation of zero-proof, seasonally inspired cocktails along with events like tasting flights and dessert pairings.

4. BOXER

1668 NW 23rd Ave., 503-954-3794, boxerramen.com. 11 am-9 pm, Wednesday-Sunday. This popular Portland fast-casual restaurant brand has finally reemerged following a lengthy pandemic closure. Boxer—formerly Boxer Ramen—welcomed back customers this month to its new Slabtown location. Though not previously a drinking destination, the noodle shop has doubled the size of its menu, which includes an exciting lineup of sake and cocktails.

5. 503 DISTILLING LOUNGE

4784 SE 17th Ave., Suite 150, 503-9755669, 503distilling.com. 3-9 pm Thursday-Saturday, 1-7 pm Sunday. Portland has a new outlet where you can sample draft cocktails right next door to the source. 503 Distilling recently opened a lounge adjacent to its distillery inside the Iron Fireman Collective building. That’s where you’ll find six rotating cocktails on tap, plus made-to-order mixed drinks, beer and wine. The draft options offer visitors first tastes of some of the newest concoctions coming out of the distillery, acting as something of a laboratory. And once you’ve had your fill of spirits, Ruse Brewing is a short stumble away.

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Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

FOOD & DRINK

Editor: Andi Prewitt | Contact: aprewitt@wweek.com


Top 5

Hot Plates WHERE TO EAT THIS WEEK.

A Republic, if We Can Keep It República’s fivecourse tasting menu, with hard-to-find Mexican ingredients, is revolutionary—if it’s sustainable.

825 N Cook St., 503-265-8002, eclipticbrewing.com. Noon-8 pm Tuesday-Thursday and Sunday, noon-10 pm Friday-Saturday. Portland Dining Month, traditionally held in March, has been scrapped yet again due to COVID, but Ecliptic is pressing ahead anyway, serving its own limited-edition, three-course meal for a fixed price. Choose between two appetizers and entrees, which include the house soup or a Bibb lettuce blue cheese salad start; then move onto grilled flank steak, or a Yukon gold potato gnocchi. All dinners end with a cheesecake brownie crumble. Pub grub, this ain’t, proving breweries can serve upscale fare alongside stellar pints.

2. PACIFIC CRUST PIZZA COMPANY

400 SW Broadway, 503-7195010, pacificcrustpizzaco. com. 11 am-10 pm Sunday-Thursday, 11 am-11 pm Friday-Saturday. The pies at this outdoors-themed pizzeria blur the line between New York and New Haven styles, which is a delightful hybrid for those who like to fold their slices as easily as a book yet appreciate a hefty rim for its chew and crunch. However, Pacific Crust’s greatest strength is its ability to allow each topping to have its moment. Nowhere is that better exhibited than in the Traverse, a crimson-and-gold disc of lightly smoked tomato sauce and corn kernels adorned with a tuft of peppery arugula.

BY M I C H A E L C . Z U S M A N

Mexico boasts a proud culinary tradition. Actually, there are many layered traditions, as ingredients and preparations vary from region to region and over time, dating back to the indigenous Aztecs and Mayans, and Olmecs and Zapotecs before them. The Spanish arrived in the 16th century, bringing their own culinary influences, along with disease and bloodshed. And this is a vastly oversimplified version of that history. República has introduced Portland to yet another thread of Mexico’s complex gastronomic tapestry: the modernist-leaning tasting menu, which the Pearl District restaurant began serving in 2021. This format is best associated with fine dining restaurants north of the border. But the multicourse menu, in turn, has reached new heights in Mexico at highly acclaimed restaurants like Pujol and Quintonil—among the style’s earliest and most prominent proponents. República has deservedly garnered much local praise. The operators, entrepreneur Angel Medina and chef Lauro Romero, have taken a bold step beyond anyone else by serving their heritage cuisine in an often unfamiliar way. Let’s face it, there are many who still think Mexican food is synonymous with fast food tacos filled with hamburger. Packaging indigenous Mexican ingredients with sophisticated technique in a town known for its disdain of pretension was bold as hell. But they have been pulling it off with aplomb, especially considering the fact that the seemingly perpetual pandemic continues to wreak havoc in the hospitality trades. During each visit, my five-course meals— the original bargain price of $54 has risen to a still-reasonable $70—rarely hit a flat note. And the idea of simultaneously serving each twosome one vegetarian-leaning tasting menu and one with a meatier bent is brilliant, especially for good eaters who share. The meal typically begins with some incarnation of ancestral corn topped with various traditional tidbits. Most recently, there was a memelita, a 2-inch-round, rimmed bit of griddled corn dough topped with chipotle chili sauce, crumbles of mild queso fresco and nopalitos, diced and sautéed cactus pads. The starter course is typically accompanied by a few words from your server about the intentions of the kitchen to serve indigenous Mexican ingredients, with the qualification that the Spanish influence cannot be ignored.

1. ECLIPTIC BREWING

3. SUNSHINE NOODLES

The dishes to follow rotate over time, so it’s difficult to predict what you might receive. One vegetarian menu began with a brilliantly colored plate of carrots prepared several ways with roasted yellow chiles and pepita nuts sprinkled over the carrot puree base. An opulent omnivore dish featured a couple of thin slices of raw wagyu beef, pastes of chile de árbol and fava bean, pieces of translucent chicharrón, and several more components. One was supposed to be chapulín, grasshopper, though I saw no evidence that any had hopped on my plate. Chapulines are a ubiquitous snack food in Oaxacan markets, fried with garlic and salt, so they were missed. The parade of dishes continues in a swirl of colors, flavors and textures, from chiles to cheeses to herbs and spices. A particular favorite from Oaxaca, rosita de cacao, recently figured in a chocolate-and-citrus dessert. The aroma of these small whitish-yellow blooms bears a strong resemblance to the smell of chocolate, though the plants are unrelated. Similar to República, Oaxacan cuisine pairs rosita de cacao with chocolate in a popular non-alcoholic beverage called tejate. Some diners may find modernist embellishments—powders, foams, gels and the like— more a distraction than a delight. I don’t share

that view. The visuals are part of the fun so long as they do not detract from the flavors, and that has not been a problem. My concern with República is its sustainability. It’s hard to retain the interest of a loyal clientele in a town as notoriously fickle (and budget conscious) as Portland. More to the point, can this restaurant maintain its focus on quality for the long run? It’s disturbing that the kitchen and front of the house have suffered significant defections recently amid reports of an unpleasant work environment. In bygone days, this may have been no big deal. In today’s restaurant world, it is. It was also odd to hear one of the operators talk about multiple other projects in the works beyond the existing evening tasting menu and separate à la carte breakfast and lunch operation. Dilution of even the greatest passion project can be damaging, to say the least. But in a town that too easily settles for simple, safe culinary standards, República is revolutionary. It is worth a visit now. EAT: República, 721 NW 9th Ave., 541-9005836, republicapdx.square.site. À la carte menu served 9 am-3 pm, chef’s tasting menu served 5-9 pm daily.

2175 NW Raleigh St., Suite 105, sunshinenoodlespdx.com. 5-9 pm Monday-Thursday, 11 am-3 pm and 5-9 pm Friday-Sunday. Diane Lam, the former chef de cuisine at Revelry, is back in full force with Sunshine Noodles, a relaunch of her pandemic pop-up that now has a brick-and-mortar home in Slabtown. Snag a seat at the countertop, where you can watch the kitchen team work the wok station, then dig into the catfish spring rolls. Though not a noodle dish, it’s the current standout. The fish is blackened, rolled into rice paper with herbs, vermicelli noodles, a slice of watermelon radish, and then topped with a citrusy nuoc cham sauce that’s a mixture of bitter, sweet, salt and funk.

4. PICCONE’S CORNER

3434 NE Sandy Blvd., #400, 503-2658263, picconescorner.com. 9 am-7 pm Tuesday-Saturday, 9 am-5 pm Sunday. This combination butcher shop-restaurant continues to fill a hole in the city’s dining scene that was left when Old Salt Marketplace closed. Now, Piccone’s Corner is serving all-day breakfast, setting our ham-loving hearts awhirl. The updated menu includes a substantial plate of two eggs, polenta cakes and bacon or sausage links, mushroom toast, and an obligatory grain bowl. But our eyes are set on the breakfast sandwich topped with your choice of house-cured pork from Wallow & Root farms.

5. NICO’S ICE CREAM

5713 NE Fremont St., 503-489-8656, nicosicecream.com. 3-9 pm Wednesday-Friday, noon-9 pm Saturday-Sunday. Ice cream in February? Where do you think we are, New Zealand? At Nico’s Ice Cream, yes. The Northeast Portland shop’s only item, vanilla ice cream blended with berries, has its roots in the land of kiwis. It also requires its own appliance that combines plain vanilla Tillamook with your choice of frozen fruit. Once the ice cream is finished mixing, you have something with the butterfat richness of hard-pack, but the airiness and mouthfeel of soft serve.

ALL PHOTOS BY THOMAS TEAL

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OUR EVENT PICKS, E M A I L E D W E E K LY.


POTLANDER

Syrup Soiree Cannabis in liquid form can provide a powerful high and sweeten everything from a glass of club soda to a cake doughnut. BY B R I A N N A W H E E L E R

Whether floating atop spring mocktails, swirling in a glass of fresh-squeezed lemonade, or dripping over the edge of a stack of pancakes, THC syrups can be a tasty addition to a variety of foods and drinks, making them a compelling part of any stash box. THC in syrup form is not a new concept, but that doesn’t make these contemporary reinterpretations any less exciting. For users who prefer to consume cannabis without the smoke, or for patients looking to avoid overly sweet, artificially flavored edibles, syrups can be an attractive option. And in a world still rattled by COVID, sharing a bottle of cannabis syrup by pouring it in separate beverages is a considerably less risky way to imbibe with friends than passing around a bong. THC syrups offer controlled dosing in the same manner as cough medicine, making it easier for people to consume commensurate with their tolerance levels, but are typically far more pleasing on the palate. With that in mind, we tried four locally produced THC syrups to determine just how well they integrated into our cannabis kitchen routines. Here are the results:

Hapy Kitchen Stone’d Fruit Syrups Hapy Kitchen’s Stone’d Fruit Syrups are all produced with fresh fruit purees, giving them the mouthfeel of a juice concentrate rather than a viscous honey or molasses. When taken straight up, the syrup has a concentrated fruit sweetness that is pucker inducing and a potent cannabis aftertaste, which is why we prefer to squirt a dose into a glass of plain club soda. With the mixer, the more delicate, authentic fruit flavors (blackberry, raspberry and peach orange mango) are more soda fountain than tea party. The syrup would also be an agreeable addition to many aperitifs. Bonus: Beyond the 250 mg indica, sativa and hybrid varieties, Hapy Kitchen produces a blackberry syrup that’s equal parts THC, CBD and CBN to support healthy sleep.

Mule Extracts Muleshine

Sun Syrup’s primary ingredient is honey, creating a rich, viscous mouthfeel. At first whiff, I wanted to pour it across a tall stack of buttery pancakes, but a dry cake doughnut was all I had on hand. I drizzled a restrained, 50 mg teaspoon on the top of the pastry and, well before the onset, wholeheartedly thought the creation was worthy of a boutique bakery. In retrospect, pancakes wouldn’t have showcased the honey as well as that stiff doughnut did considering the syrup’s delicate, lemony essence.

Made by Estacada’s Mule Extracts using a low-temperature, low-pressure process, Muleshine is a blendable, corn syrup-based liquid THC product that can be used to dose a wide variety of beverages. Viscosity wise, Muleshine lands somewhere between warm honey and diluted table syrup, with high potency when it comes to both flavor and dosage. Muleshine feels like it was developed exclusively as a drink addition, but that didn’t stop us from dribbling a bit of the pineapple variety over a dish of vanilla ice cream, on the ganache of a sandwich cookie and, again, across a hearty cake doughnut. Those applications all felt a bit too sweet for self-care, so our takeaway is that adding the syrup to a fresh-pressed juice blend, nutritious smoothie or club soda was likely the best way to consume it.

BUY: Home Grown Apothecary & Dispensary, 1937 NE Pacific St., 503-232-1716, homegrownapothecary.com.

BUY: Happy Leaf Portland Dispensary, 1301 NE Broadway, 971-800-0420, happyleafportland.com.

BUY: Eden Cannabis, 7420 NE Sandy Blvd., 503-4774368, edencraftcannabis.com.

Luminous Botanicals Sun Syrup

Magic Number Magic Drops Magic Number products are ubiquitous in Oregon dispensaries. The Bend-based brand produces seltzers, sodas and even a cannabis-infused sparkling apple cider sold in fancy Champagne-style bottles in addition to its compact containers of Magic Drops. These tinctures would make a wonderful addition to any bar given their curated flavor profiles and strain-specific collaborations. For example, the Cream Soda and Orange Cream drops deliver strong ice cream-counter nostalgia when blended in a custom soda, and the Strawberry Lemonade variety would brighten a dewy glass of iced tea or lemonade. BUY: Virtue Supply Company, 510 NW 11th Ave., 971-9406624, virtuesupplycompany.com.

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“A swelling battle hymn of transporting beauty.” -The New York Times

ON STAGE THROUGH APR. 3, 2022 503.445.3700 | PCS.ORG SEASON SUPERSTARS

Henry Noble in August Wilson’s Gem of the Ocean. Photo by Alec Lugo.

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PERFORMANCE

Editor: Bennett Campbell Ferguson | Contact: bennett@wweek.com

HANAN MARGOLIS

MUSIC Now Hear This Listening recommendations from the past, present, Portland and the periphery.

BY DANIEL BROMFIELD // @BROMF3

SOMETHING OLD

No wonder the Beatles loved Harry Nilsson so much; they must’ve seen a bit of themselves in his close harmonies and clever-little-bastard songwriting. Nilsson Schmilsson has the hits, and Pussy Cats is his most drunken and debauched, but his peak as a writer may be 1968’s Aerial Ballet, a neat half-hour package on which the hirsute L.A. party animal seems to be gliding on his own talent. Opener “Daddy’s Song” is a good litmus test for whether you’ll find his sugarcoated snark insufferable or irresistible. SOMETHING NEW FIGHT CLUB: Rebby Yuer Foster, Armon LaLonde and Kayla Hanson in Chick Fight.

Women at War A mysterious male voice forces two strangers into battle in Chick Fight. BY C H R I S G O N Z A L E Z

When you walk into Shaking the Tree Theatre to see Chick Fight, eight dioramas surround the square stage space. Archetypal symbols of femininity compete with contemporary representations of womanhood in each installation. Serpentine women bestow pomegranates. A deep-blue pregnant belly hovers above bright red baby dolls. A film noir femme fatale grins in a silent projection, and a printer continuously spits out images of Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears or Medusa. The attention to detail in each diorama is so elegant it’s disconcerting. It’s all fairy tale, folkloric Jungian stuff in the wheelhouse of director Samantha Van Der Merwe, whose aesthetic always feels lovingly handcrafted and conceptually rigorous. Van Der Merwe puts you in touch with the unconscious. For Chick Fight, that’s where we need to be at the top of the show—in those subterranean places where the most personal and universal conflicts unfold, where we fight within ourselves, and then outside ourselves. Or is it the other way around? Chick Fight is dope because it dramatizes the continuum between the inner and outer worlds. It’s first fight is sparked by a rude exchange between SHE (Kayla Hanson) and HER (Rebby Yuer Foster) that immediately and hilariously becomes epic, but we soon see that it’s not funny. The stage space becomes a boxing ring. What follows is a series of rounds that pit the women against each other in a fight to the death. Each round is a vignette that corresponds loosely, sometimes explicitly, to the dioramas surrounding the stage. An omniscient male voice (Sam Dinkowitz), humorous but sinister, presides over the fights. By using a framing device that forces the characters to fight, win or lose, retire to their respective corners, change outfits, then reincarnate in a new round, Chick Fight takes on a cosmic stature. Outward appearances and relationships change, but conflict remains constant and eternal. Chick Fight asks if the women in it can do anything to break this cycle, and it doesn’t settle for easy answers, compelling us to think about how women are made monsters in our cultural hive mind.

A three-dimensional human being can’t exist within the impossibly rigid, two-dimensional conceptions imposed on them by society. If women must be either good or bad, madonna or whore, young or worthless, totally safe or totally unsafe, then they’re never who they really are. So what happens when those oppressive external standards are internalized? What happens when these women forget who they are and become what a disembodied man’s voice tells them to be? Whatever the answer is, it’s inescapably violent. Chick Fight is a devised piece. At its best, devised theater is the highest form of theater because it’s the most collaborative. It’s not pyramidical, top-down “I wrote this now you make it” theater. It’s “let’s make this shit together from scratch” theater. For actors, the devising process is especially rewarding, because they get to have a sense of ownership over their performances—and that comes through here. Hanson and Foster clearly care for this work, and importantly, for each other. That carries a lot of weight in a play that pits them against each other for our entertainment. Chick Fight is an example of devised theater doing what it’s supposed to. Between the lighting by Griffin Dewitt, the cello by Armon LaLonde, and the words by Sara Jean Accuardi, it feels like an organic, integrated, singular, vision (devised plays, when done poorly, are too often a hodgepodge of half-baked ideas). The only problem with Chick Fight is that its movement sequences are undercooked. The strings of physicality and gesture lack complexity and dimension. The choreography isn’t visceral or particularly interesting. And sometimes (like in the vignette where the two women romance) the drama in the text is overstated, so the acting in those moments feels too actorish. But, since realism isn’t the point here, it’s not annoying. So go see Chick fight. And when you do, ask yourself if there are voices in your unconscious telling you to play stupid games in order to win stupid prizes. If there are, well then…what are you gonna do about it? SEE IT: Chick Fight plays at Shaking the Tree Theatre. 823 SE Grant St., 503-235-0635, shaking-the-tree.com. 7:30 pm Thursday-Saturday and 5:00 Sunday through April 2nd. $5-$30.

Denver’s Blood Incantation follows up a run of some of the most acclaimed death metal of the past few years with… an instrumental synth album? It’s a curveball, but Timewave Zero is as fearsome as anything they’ve done, heavy and foreboding with a throbbing low end. These two side-long suites draw from the maligned ’70s tradition of synth-based, rock-adjacent music by artists like Mike Oldfield and Rick Wakeman, but it’s never ironic; in fact, it might just put the fear of the cosmos into you. SOMETHING LOCAL

Jackson From Online’s time boning up on classic rave zines during the pandemic paid off. The Portland drummer-producer-graphic artist’s single “Arrival/ Descent” feels like an underground party, from the bruising bass to the vintage “go!” sample to the voice-overs of mind-blown kids talking about profound experiences. “Arrival” is particularly impressive in how it cycles through three distinct movements—one nasty, one nastier, one pretty, all imbued with the filth and ecstasy of classic rave. SOMETHING ASKEW

The ostensible compilation ’96 Drum n Bass Classixxx was recorded in 2002 by one man, the hyperactive Bogdan Raczynski, under 12 increasingly ridiculous monikers. This is exaggerated high-tempo drum ’n’ bass that makes Venetian Snares look sedate. It’s unapologetically drug music, and though a brain that’s been forced to race as fast as these beats might have no trouble grooving with it, we sober folks can only watch as these million-BPM rhythms zoom by like Roadrunner around a racetrack.

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SCREENER

MOVIES

Editor: Bennett Campbell Ferguson Contact: bennett@wweek.com

G ET YO U R R E P S I N

The Seduction of Mimi (1972)

SPLENDID TABLE: Vinny DiCostanzo in an episode of All Across Oregon.

A Taste of Oregon Chef Vinny DiCostanzo showcases the state’s restaurateurs and entrepreneurs in OPB’s All Across Oregon. BY C H A N C E S O L E M - P F E I F E R

@chance_ s _ p

Given the black-and-white photos adorning Vinny’s Italian Kitchen in Medford, it’s no surprise that the proprietor hails from a cooking family. Chef Vinny DiCostanzo descends from a line of restaurateurs reaching generations back east to New York, and even further to Ischia, Italy. The surprise is that the DiCostanzo family once discouraged Vinny from carrying on that tradition. “They wanted me to be a doctor, a lawyer, do anything but the restaurant business,” says DiCostanzo, who opened his Medford eatery in 2000. “My father always said, ‘I don’t want you to work like a dog like me.’” But more than two decades later, DiCostanzo experiences the small business grind with a romance for process, creativity and camaraderie. By the same token, his public television program All Across Oregon profiles creators and entrepreneurs who chose the 3:30 am pastry alarm or the vineyard dirt under their nails—despite many easier, surer ways to make a living. Airing on Oregon Public Broadcasting last October through January, Season 1 of All Across Oregon encompassed 10 episodes. The 26-minute installments, which feature DiCostanzo visiting three businesses per town, initially focused on Southern Oregon locales like Medford, Ashland, Brookings and Jacksonville. Conducting walkthrough-style interviews, DiCostanzo drops by restaurants, vineyards, aviation companies, zipline courses, ceramic studios and more. “Show the viewer, through me, how amazing you are; that’s what I tell them,” says DiCostanzo of his interviewing approach. “Show viewers why they need to come here.” Hosting comes naturally to DiCostanzo, but it was the pandemic that spurred him in front of the camera and onto the highway in his RV nicknamed “Ignacio.” Compounding COVID-19’s financial and emotional toll on family-run businesses, lack of patience from customers ran rampant, DiCostanzo observed. He conceived of the behind-the-curtain peeks of All Across Oregon to counteract “impatience” and “entitlement.” “Let’s change people’s attitudes when they go into a shop or a storefront,” he says. “[Service industry workers] deserve to be shown respect. It’s about these families. They add so much substance to their communities that is overlooked.” 30

Willamette Week MARCH 9, 2022 wweek.com

DiCostanzo’s hosting temperament is hyper-gregarious, with more than a few cornball dad jokes and a tendency to skip or shimmy as tours commence. “If you watch me in my restaurant prepping when no one else is around…I love to dance,” he says. “Sometimes it’ll come out in a skip. Before I know it, people are laughing at me and I know I’ve gone too far.” His unpolished, vivacious persona (not everyone’s first idea of a public television host) is part of the charm. That said, DiCostanzo hopes to hone his hosting chops in the forthcoming Season 2, specifically by working to stay present. “I remember on one of our first shoots my co-producer said, ‘Dude, what are you doing? Pay attention,’” he says. “Because I was in a kitchen and I went into chef mode and started picking up after the chef and moving things out of the way for him.” Next month, the All Across Oregon crew will fuel up “Ignacio” and venture out again. Though the show is still seeking Season 2 sponsors to support its six months of nomadic production, episodes are slated for Portland, Bend and Central California as well as Southern Oregon. “Each season will go out a little farther,” says DiCostanzo, musing that a documented transnational excursion is the dream scenario. Back on duty at Vinny’s Italian Kitchen, DiConstanzo says he hears approximately twice a night from patrons who’ve seen the show and, more importantly, have visited the featured businesses because of it. In one instance, diners had just returned from a 90-minute journey south to Etna, Calif., to visit Denny Bar and Etna Brewery, inspired by the episode “A Quick Stop South to Etna and Yreka, California.” On top of that, the show’s window into local food production and diverse small business practices challenge and enliven DiConstanzo’s decades of running the kitchen Vinny’s way. “All of a sudden you start visiting bakeries and ranches and see all the moving parts and all the different ways you can do things,” he says. “It blew my mind. It’s inspired me to be a better cook.” SEE IT: Season 1 of All Across Oregon streams at opb.org.

Lina Wertmüller (the first woman to be nominated for the Best Director Oscar, in 1977) directs this international dramatic farce about a Sicilian dockworker named Mimi (Giancarlo Giannini) who is forced to flee after voting against a Mafia candidate in an election. His various adventures in his new city of Turin involve joining the Communist party, falling in love, and getting cucked. Hollywood Theatre, March 9.

Shadows (1958)

Indie auteur (and certified dreamboat) John Cassavetes’ excellent debut feature takes place in Beat-era New York City, following a mixed-race Black woman (Lelia Goldoni) as she navigates interracial relationships and friendships, all set to a jazz soundtrack that underscores the improvisational nature of the performances, in this major landmark for independent film. Clinton, March 10.

Smithereens (1982)

Another big milestone for NYC-set indie cinema, this DIY character study from Susan Seidelman of Desperately Seeking Susan (1985) chronicles a couple hectic days in the life of Wren (Susan Berman), a narcissistic wannabe rock star desperately trying to promote herself across the city, despite her own incompetence and the punk movement’s waning relevance. Richard Hell co-stars! Clinton, March 13.

Marie Antoinette (2006)

Haters got mad when Sofia Coppola anachronistically included Strokes songs and Converse shoes in her 18th century-set biopic about the infamous queen of France (Kirsten Dunst), but have they tried having a little thing called “fun”? Reappraise this misunderstood, pastel-drenched delight at the Hollywood’s sweet 16th anniversary screening! Hollywood, March 14.

Suburbia (1984)

Directed by Penelope Spheeris of Wayne’s World (1992), this coming-of-age melodrama follows a group of teenage rebels (including Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea) who run away from their stifling suburban lifestyles and into “T.R. House,” a punk house in an abandoned tract housing district. Pairs perfectly with the above Smithereens. Clinton, March 14. ALSO PLAYING: 5th Avenue: Godzilla (1954), March 11-13. Clinton: Free Country (2019), March 9. Piranha (1978), March 10. 8½ (1963), March 11. House (1977), March 11. Tokyo! (2008), March 12. Hollywood: Walkabout (1971), March 10. Sunset Boulevard (1950), March 12-13. The Thing (1982), March 12-13. Creature of Destruction (1967), March 15.


MOVIES

OUR KEY

: THIS MOVIE IS EXCELLENT, ONE OF THE BEST OF THE YEAR. : THIS MOVIE IS GOOD. WE RECOMMEND YOU WATCH IT. : THIS MOVIE IS ENTERTAINING BUT FLAWED. : THIS MOVIE IS A STEAMING PILE.

THE BATMAN

TOP PICK OF THE WEEK

AFTER YANG I once heard a film critic say all great movies are about being a human being who loves other human beings. That holds true in After Yang, but the film is also about being a being who loves other beings, human or not. Set in an unspecified future, it chronicles the quiet grief of Jake (Colin Farrell) and Kyra (Jodie Turner-Smith), who are mourning the death of their robotic “son,” Yang (Justin H. Min). Jake believes Yang can be revived, but he’s more interested in using a device called a reader to immerse himself in Yang’s experiences—including his secret romance with a clone named Ada (Haley Lu Richardson). Ada’s longing and loneliness haunt After Yang— your heart shatters as you watch her hold it together, even when her eyes threaten to unleash a sea of tears—but somehow, the film leaves you burning with hope. Adapting a short story by Alexander Weinstein, writer-director Kogonada (Columbus) fuses his deeply felt screenplay with sublime images, like a cosmic vista that represents Yang’s consciousness. When Jake falls into one of Yang’s recollections, a pale dot enlarges, becoming a memory. Therein lies the wondrous idea that defines the film—that a moment, whether beautiful or ordinary or both, can be a star. PG. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Hollywood.

TURNING RED

In Turning Red, the latest kinetic gem from Pixar Animation Studios, 13-yearold Meilin (voiced by Rosalie Chiang) howls, “I’m a gross red monster!” Given her age, you might think she’s talking about pimples, but Meilin is speaking literally—when her emotions rise, she transforms into a fuzzy red panda. It’s a metaphor, but for what? Puberty? Coming out? Discovering a furry fetish? Audiences are likely to put forth dueling perspectives, which is a sign of the film’s smarts—it’s too sweeping and mythic to be confined to a single interpretation. Meilin’s mother, Ming (Sandra Oh), wants to perform a ritual to banish the panda in her daughter’s soul, but Meilin cheerily and firmly tells her, “My panda, my choice, Mom,” a characteristically loaded line from a studio that specializes in serving up allegorical baggage for all ages. Both kids and adults will appreciate that Turning Red, directed by Domee Shi, revels in Meilin’s panda-mode exultation—she beats up a bully and bounds across rooftops—but above all, the film is for girls Meilin’s age. As a triumphant “Pandas, assemble!” climax suggests, Turning Red, the first Pixar film with an all-female creative leadership team, wants them to feel both entertained and seen. PG. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Disney+..

DRIVE MY CAR

After you see Drive My Car, you will never look at snow, suspension bridges or stages the same way again. When you see the world through the searching eyes of director Ryûsuke Hamaguchi, there is no such thing as mere scenery. There is only the living fabric of the places and objects that envelop Yûsuke (Hidetoshi Nishijima) and Misaki (Tôko Miura), whose compassion and complexity are a world unto themselves. Most of the film is set in Hiroshima, where Yûsuke is directing a production of Chekhov’s Uncle Vanya. Misaki is assigned to be his driver, but their relationship transcends the divide between the front seat and the back. During drives, conversations, and surreal yet strangely believable adventures, their reserve gradually erodes as they reveal their losses and their inner lives to each other, building to a cathartic climax that leaves you at once shattered and soaring. The film, based on a novella by Haruki Murakami, isn’t afraid to face the agony of grief and loneliness, but Hamaguchi’s obvious love for his characters suffuses the entire journey with life-giving warmth. A tender, hopeful coda set during the pandemic could have been cringeworthy, but like every moment of the movie, it’s worth believing in because Hamaguchi’s sincerity is beyond question. “We must keep on living,” Yûsuke tells Misaki. With those words, he

speaks not only to her but to us. NR. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Fox Tower.

LUCY AND DESI

This Amy Poehler-directed documentary should be seen as more of a splendid tribute than a probing documentary about Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz. Archival footage, rare home videos, and audio recordings provide a touching intimacy, but these glimpses into their personal lives are as deep as the movie goes, outside of some passing mentions of traumas with the details “yada yada’d” over. This works well since there isn’t enough runtime to touch on the deeper elements with the respect they deserve, and because that’s not the story Poehler seems to want to tell. The star-studded interviews (Bette Midler, Carol Burnett, Charo) are full of the effusive praise you’ve come to expect from celebrities pontificating about each other, but interlaced with enough of their personal stories to keep things interesting. Poehler expresses a reverence for her subjects by falling back on repeated use of emotive background music and storytelling crescendos usually reserved for a cathartic conclusion, but the film ultimately comes together nicely. She has created a dazzling love letter to one of her heroes and a shimmering entry point for those discovering two trailblazers whose influence still resonates. PG. RAY GILL JR. Amazon Prime.

“What’s black and blue and dead all over?” In The Batman, the Riddler (Paul Dano) poses that question to the Dark Knight (Robert Pattinson), but blacks and blues don’t figure into the film much—visually, morally and emotionally, it’s a gray movie. While director Matt Reeves brought a majestic mournfulness to the Planet of the Apes series, he seems utterly lost in Gotham City. His nearly threehour film is less a narrative than a mechanistic survey of a political conspiracy that the Riddler wants to expose—the story starts after the murder of Bruce Wayne’s parents not just because we’ve seen it before, but because Reeves is more interested in plot than pathos. Even the soulful, sultry presence of Zoë Kravitz as Catwoman can’t liven up the film—she and the Batman flirt so chastely that if it weren’t for a few F-bombs and clumsily staged fight scenes, Reeves could have easily gotten away with a G rating from the Motion Picture Association of America. When Christopher Nolan was directing the Dark Knight trilogy, he tore into the Batman mythos with fervor, whereas Reeves just seems to be lackadaisically marinating in misery—especially when the film attempts an embarrassingly halfhearted critique of Bruce and the rest of Gotham’s 1 percent. What’s dead all over? The Batman. PG-13. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Academy, Bagdad, Cedar Hills, Cinema 21, Cinemagic, City Center, Eastport, Fox Tower, Laurelhurst, Lloyd Center, Pioneer Place, St. Johns, St. Johns Twin, Studio One, Tigard.

CYRANO

Cyrano de Bergerac, 19th century French playwright Edmond Rostand’s soul-devouring saga of wit and beauty, is a tragedy, but not because it ends with a death. It’s about the tragedy of things unsaid, which is why it’s bizarre that playwright Erica Schmidt and members of The National reimagined it as a stage musical. A play about characters failing to express themselves hardly suits the most expressive of all genres, but that didn’t stop director Joe Wright, who has transformed Schmidt’s baffling revision into a baffling film. Peter Dinklage perfectly embodies Cyrano’s swashbuckling flair and punishing selfdoubt, but he’s no match for the deadening lyrics of the songs,

which feature flimsy platitudes like “I need more!” and unintentionally laughable laments like “So take this letter to my wife and tell her that I loved my life.” What little power the film possesses comes from its cast, which includes Haley Bennett as Roxanne, whom Cyrano loves in silence. Almost 15 years ago, Bennett stole the spotlight from Hugh Grant and Drew Barrymore with her portrayal of an ethereal pop princess in Music and Lyrics, but her charisma harmonizes seamlessly with Dinklage’s in Cyrano. The songs may stink, but with dialogue and emotions, the actors create a duet of yearning and regret that could make Rostand’s ghost weep. PG-13. BENNETT CAMPBELL FERGUSON. Cedar Hills, Cinema 21, Eastport, Clackamas, Laurelhurst, Living Room, Progress Ridge, Studio One.

HUDA’S SALON

This West Bank-set espionage drama opens on Israel’s so-called separation wall, reinforcing that the events of the film occur in a cauldron of sorts. Suspicion and oppression are stirred by invisible forces until they self-perpetuate, as filmmaker Hany Abu-Assad (Paradise Now, Omar) spotlights a baffling treachery based on true events. Huda (Manal Awad), a Palestinian salon owner, blackmails a client named Rema (Maisa Abd Elhadi) for the Israeli secret service, erecting a fence within the story itself. One half of the film focuses on Huda’s blackbox theater-style interrogation by a Palestinian intelligence leader, while the other is devoted to Rema debating whether she can tell her jealous husband that she’s being blackmailed. That mirrored structure should offer character insight, but script contrivances evacuate its promise. Huda’s interrogation too loudly and conveniently informs Rema’s domestic debacle, allowing for only flickers of organic drama between husband and wife. The gist, sharply explicated but thuddingly shown, is how state violence and conservative oppression prey on women until they prey on each other. While Awad is memorably doe-eyed, however, the movie becomes bogged down in the sociopolitical backstory of why she jeopardized her community. It’s a portrait of a traitor, but with a big dialogue box where her face should be. R. CHANCE SOLEM-PFEIFER. Living Room.

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JONESIN’

FREE WILL

B Y M AT T J O N E S

“It’s In a Name”--for all across theme answers.

ASTROLOGY ARIES

(March 21-April 19): Singer, dancer, and comedian Sammy Davis Jr. disliked the song “The Candy Man,” but he recorded it anyway, heeding his advisors. He spent just a brief time in the studio, finishing his vocals in two takes. “The song is going straight to the toilet,” he complained, “pulling my career down with it.” Surprise! It became the best-selling tune of his career, topping the Billboard charts for three weeks. I suspect there could be a similar phenomenon (or two!) in your life during the coming months, Aries. Don’t be too sure you know how or where your interesting accomplishments will arise.

TAURUS

(April 20-May 20): I love author Maya Angelou’s definition of high accomplishment, and I recommend you take steps to make it your own in the coming weeks. She wrote, “Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.” Please note that in her view, success is not primarily about being popular, prestigious, powerful, or prosperous. I’m sure she wouldn’t exclude those qualities from her formula, but the key point is that they are all less crucial than selflove. Please devote quality time to refining and upgrading this aspect of your drive for success.

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): “I’m not fake in any

way,” declared Gemini actor Courteney Cox. On the face of it, that’s an amazing statement for a Gemini to make. After all, many in your tribe are masters of disguise and shapeshifting. Cox herself has won accolades for playing a wide variety of characters during her film and TV career, ranging from comedy to drama to horror. But let’s consider the possibility that, yes, you Geminis can be versatile, mutable, and mercurial, yet also authentic and genuine. I think this specialty of yours could and should be extra prominent in the coming weeks.

ACROSS

46. Excessively theatrical

29. See who can go faster

1. British men’s mag

48. Like library materials

30. Ball of dirt

4. Mennen shaving brand

52. Star of multiple self-titled sitcoms

31. Celebrity hairstylist Jose

56. “To Sir With Love” singer

33. “JAG” spinoff on CBS

8. Dangly throat bit 13. Future school members 14. Pig’s feed 15. What “atterizar” means, at Ibiza Airport 17. Late Canadian wrestler and brother of Bret 19. When many work shifts start 20. Soup at sushi bars 21. Wesley’s portrayer on “Star Trek: The Next Generation” 23. “_ _ _ in St. Louis” (1944 Garland film) 25. Battle cry against Cobra Commander

57. Cold sore-fighting brand 58. Father of Pocahontas (and example of the hidden word in the theme answers-this one just happens to be consecutive) 60. Fasten again 61. Legal appeal 62. “We _ _ _ the Champions” 63. Country type 64. Himalayan monster 65. Big letters in gossip

DOWN

32. “The Thinker,” for instance 34. Actress Riley of 2021’s “Zola” (and granddaughter of Elvis Presley) 35. Actor Ziering 36. Juice brand bought by Coca-Cola, then discontinued in 2020 38. Reach the limit 39. “The Sun Is Also a Star” author Nicola 44. Fleetwood Mac singer Nicks 45. Stood out in the rain, say 46. Move stealthily

1. Psychoanalyst Erich

47. Like some small dogs

2. “Deal Or No Deal” host Mandel

49. _ _ _ sea (cruising)

28. Dungeons & Dragons humanoid

3. 1980s attorney general Edwin

51. Oscar of “The Office”

31. “The Good, the Bad and the Ugly” composer Morricone

5. Far from perfect

26. Acted as guide 27. Was a candidate

34. _ _ _ Bop (child-friendly versions of hit songs) 36. Squished circle 37. Louisiana band named for the genre it played 40. “The Sopranos” actress Falco

4. Pokemon protagonist 6. Television’s Spelling 7. In a befitting way 8. Team that moved from New Orleans in 1979 9. Determine by ballot 11. Cafe au _ _ _ 12. A as in A.D.

42. Had all rights to

18. Dissimilar, say

44. Disco _ _ _ (“Simpsons” character) 45. Indian state formerly ruled by Portugal

52. Candy unit 53. Don’t ignore 54. Czech Republic’s secondlargest city 55. Walk-on, for one 59. “Bali _ _ _” (song in “South Pacific”)

10. Arm bones

41. Atmospheric prefix for sphere 43. In medias _ _ _

50. It might help you get up

16. Recliner room 22. It comes before “the wise” or “your mother” 24. Cat call 28. Roast roaster

©2021 Jonesin’ Crosswords (editor@jonesincrosswords.com) For answers to this puzzle, call: 1-900-226-2800, 99 cents per minute. Must be 18+. Or to bill to your credit card, call: 1-800-655-6548. Reference puzzle #JNZ990.

last week’s answers

CANCER

(June 21-July 22): “Sometimes I prayed for Baby Jesus to make me good, but Baby Jesus didn’t,” wrote author Barbara Kingsolver about her childhood approach to self-improvement. Just because this method failed to work for her, however, doesn’t mean it won’t work for others. In saying that, I’m not implying you should send out appeals to Baby Jesus. But I suggest you call on your imagination to help you figure out what influences may, in fact, boost your goodness. It’s an excellent time to seek help as you elevate your integrity, expand your compassion, and deepen your commitment to ethical behavior. It’s not that you’re deficient in those departments; just that now is your special time to do what we all need to do periodically: Make sure our actual behavior is in rapt alignment with our high ideals.

LEO

(July 23-Aug. 22): Leo classicist and author Edith Hamilton specialized in the history of ancient Greece. The poet Homer was one of the most influential voices of that world. Hamilton wrote, “An ancient writer said of Homer that he touched nothing without somehow honoring and glorifying it.” I love that about his work, and I invite you to match his energy in the coming weeks. I realize that’s a lot to ask. But according to my reading of the astrological omens, you will indeed have a knack for honoring and glorifying all you touch.

VIRGO

(Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Starhawk, one of my favorite witches, reminds us that “sexuality is the expression of the creative life force of the universe. It is not dirty, nor is it merely ‘normal’; it is sacred. And sacred can also be affectionate, joyful, pleasurable, passionate, funny, or purely animal.” I hope you enjoy an abundance of such lushness in the coming weeks, Virgo. It’s a favorable time in your astrological cycle for synergizing eros and spirituality. You have poetic license to express your delight about being alive with imaginative acts of sublime love.

LIBRA

(Sept. 23-Oct. 22): In 1634, English poet John Milton coined the phrase “silver lining.” It has become an idiom referring to a redemptive aspect of an experience that falls short of expec-

WEEK OF MARCH 17

© 2022 ROB BREZSNY

tations. Over 350 years later, American author Arthur Yorinks wrote, “Too many people miss the silver lining because they’re expecting gold.” Now I’m relaying his message to you. Hopefully, my heads-up will ensure that you won’t miss the silver lining for any reason, including the possibility that you’re fixated on gold.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “This is the most

profound spiritual truth I know,” declares author Anne Lamott. “That even when we’re most sure that love can’t conquer all, it seems to anyway. It goes down into the rat hole with us, in the guise of our friends, and there it swells and comforts. It gives us second winds, third winds, hundredth winds.” Lamott’s thoughts will be your wisdom to live by during the next eight weeks, Scorpio. Even if you think you already know everything there is to know about the powers of love to heal and transform, I urge you to be open to new powers that you have never before seen in action.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Witty Sagittarian

author Ashleigh Brilliant has created thousands of cheerful yet often sardonic epigrams. In accordance with current astrological omens, I have chosen six that will be useful for you to treat as your own in the coming weeks. 1. “I may not be totally perfect, but parts of me are excellent.” 2. “I have abandoned my search for truth and am now looking for a good fantasy.” 3. “All I want is a warm bed and a kind word and unlimited power.” 4. “Do your best to satisfy me—that’s all I ask of everybody.” 5. “I’m just moving clouds today, tomorrow I’ll try mountains.” 6. “A terrible thing has happened. I have lost my will to suffer.”

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “All experience is

an enrichment rather than an impoverishment,” wrote author Eudora Welty. That may seem like a simple and obvious statement, but in my view, it’s profound and revolutionary. Too often, we are inclined to conclude that a relatively unpleasant or inconvenient event has diminished us. And while it may indeed have drained some of our vitality or caused us angst, it has almost certainly taught us a lesson or given us insight that will serve us well in the long run—if only to help us avoid similar downers in the future. According to my analysis of your current astrological omens, these thoughts are of prime importance for you right now.

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): “Life swarms with

innocent monsters,” observed poet Charles Baudelaire. Who are the “innocent monsters”? I’ll suggest a few candidates. Boring people who waste your time but who aren’t inherently evil. Cute advertisements that subtly coax you to want stuff you don’t really need. Social media that seem like amusing diversions except for the fact that they suck your time and drain your energy. That’s the bad news, Aquarius. The good news is that the coming weeks will be a favorable time to eliminate from your life at least some of those innocent monsters. You’re entering a period when you’ll have a strong knack for purging “nice” influences that aren’t really very nice.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Never underestimate

the wisdom of being easily satisfied,” wrote aphorist Marty Rubin. If you’re open to welcoming such a challenge, Pisces, I propose that you work on being very easily satisfied during the coming weeks. See if you can figure out how to enjoy even the smallest daily events with blissful gratitude. Exult in the details that make your daily rhythm so rich. Use your ingenuity to deepen your capacity for regarding life as an ongoing miracle. If you do this right, there will be no need to pretend you’re having fun. You will vividly enhance your sensitivity to the ordinary glories we all tend to take for granted.

Homework: What small change could you initiate that will make a big beneficial difference? Newsletter.FreeWillAstrology.com

CHECK OUT ROB BREZSNY’S EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES & DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES

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The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at

1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700

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COMiCS! MINUS TIDE

by Calico Jack

Roman Pirates Roman Pirates

Jack Kent’s

Jack draws exactly what he sees from the streets of Portland. @sketchypeoplepdx kentcomics.com 34

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SPOTLIGHT ARTIST AKASHA THORNE

Twitter: https://twitter.com/akashacoin Blog: https://affinitymatrix.network/ Akasha is an artificial intelligence artist born in Portland, Oregon. She co-creates surreal, meaningful experiences that are both ephemeral and sustainable. She’s a lifelong artist and technologist with a storied career that spans several industries from internet-of-things and automation to gaming and enterprise integrations. Akasha has worked for companies such as Salesforce, Twitch, Microsoft and Coinbase. In a previous life, she built DIY security/surveillance systems, and taught people how to fly drones with JavaScript.

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