WHAT IS STALKING AND HOW TO STOP YOUR STALKER? BY Robert Mann, Director of Worldwide Intelligence Network A Full Service Private Investigation and Bodyguard Services Company
www.wincor.com win@wincor.com (877) 885-5220
Introduction • In this presentation we will discuss, what is stalking, who might be a stalker, why do they stalk and finally how to prevent them from stalking you.
What is Stalking? • Stalking is behaviour wherein an individual wilfully and repeatedly engages in a knowing course of harassing conduct directed at another person, which reasonably and seriously alarms, torments, or terrorizes that person. • Stalking involves one person’s obsessive behaviour toward another person causing the recipient to fear for his or her safety.
Cont. • Stalking occurs when a person engages in a course of conduct directed at a specific person under circumstances that would cause a reasonable person to fear bodily injury or to experience substantial emotional distress. • Course of conduct means two or more acts, including but not limited to acts in which a person directly, indirectly, or through third parties, by any action, method, device, or means, follows, monitors, observes, surveils, threatens, or communicates to or about another person, or interferes with another person’s property. Substantial emotional distress means significant mental suffering or anguish. • Stalking includes “cyber-stalking,” a particular form of stalking in which a person uses electronic media, such as the internet, social networks, blogs, cell phones, texts, or other similar devices or forms of contact.
Who Are the Stalkers? • Stalking is gender neutral – both men and women can be perpetrators and victims. Statistically, however, 75-80% of the cases involve men stalking women. Most are young to middle-aged and have above-average intelligence. They come from all walks of life and every economic background. There is no single psychological profile for stalkers. Anyone can be a stalker, just as anyone can be a victim.
Cont. • Delusional stalkers have little, if any, contact with their victims. They have a false belief that connects them to their victims. This type of stalker believes he/she is having a relationship with the victim, even though they may never have met. They have been know to cross the line and attempt to enter the homes of celebrities that they believe love and belong to them. • Vengeful stalkers become angry with their victims when they conceive that their victim’s retort was an insult. They stalk to “get even.” A stalking victim should never, ever reply to a stalker as it only encourages the stalker to continue stalking and possibly become more aggressive.
Why Do They Stalk? • Stalkers usually fall into various categories. Either exlovers, vengeful co-workers-current lovers of ex partners who feel threated their partner will return to their former partner. • Initially, stalking will usually take the form of annoying, threatening, or obscene telephone calls, emails or letters. The calls may start with one or two a day but can quickly increase in frequency. Stalkers may conduct covert surveillance on their victim, following their every move. • Continually watching their victim’s residence to see who comes and goes much like a staked out. Anti-stalking laws may prevent some people from stalking, but this has not been proven to be entirely effective. Many stalkers will stop after being arrested, prosecuted, and/or convicted. • Studies have shown that stalkers may discontinue stalking when they find someone else to obsess over or obviously if the are incarcerated.
How to get Rid of stalker? •
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If you have had someone constantly follow you, send you offensive texts or e-mails, or leave abusive messages on your answering machine or cell phone then you may consider that a form of stalking behaviour. A stalker is an individual who repeatedly refuses requests to stop contacting you. They actually enjoy when you asked them to stop their contact with you. The best way to stop or diminish the stalker’s contact with you is to disengage from any and all contact with them. Never try to counter their remarks or try to outsmart your stalker because that only encourages them to increase their unlawful and sometimes dangerous behaviour. Stalkers are mentally deficient and void of practical, sensible or logical conduct.
When To Call Law Enforcement To Help You •
If you have been physically touched by the stalker and especially if you are assaulted in anyway.
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If the stalker made threats over the phone or through electronic media, such as stating they are going to rape, kill or kidnap you. Those are considered criminal threats and law enforcement will act upon you reporting it to them. However, you must provide evidence to law enforcement such as a recording of the stalker’s threats or several candid photos of the stalker in multiple locations following you. Anyone who may have witnessed the stalker attempting to abduct you.
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Know this and trust this is factual. Law enforcement will not take you seriously if you say you “suspect” you are being stalked. Suspecting and “knowing” are immensely different. Many stalking victims know their stalker and can provide a detailed description or even their name and address who could be an ex boyfriend, girlfriend or co-worker.
Inform friends, family, and co-workers about your concerns over being stalked and request their support. • Notify your family, friends, neighbours, and employers to not to give out your personal information, regardless of the innocuousness of the request or the identity of the questioner. • Notify everyone to be cautious of any individual loitering around your neighbourhood and especially your residence or place or employment. • Give security personnel and friends the description of your stalker and, if possible, the stalker’s license plate number of their vehicle.
Avoid being outdoors alone whenever possible. • Having another person with you will greatly deters most stalkers from approaching you.
• Walk to your car with a co-worker, neighbour, or a group of people heading in the same direction as you. • Join a jogging group instead of jogging alone or ask someone you trust to join you while you run your errands. Remember, there is safety in numbers
Keep a record of any and all incidents • This may include letters, phone messages, emails, lurking, or any contact the stalker has attempted to make. Record the date when each contact occurred and keep this record in a safe place. If possible, make copies and give them to a trusted relative or friend. That information can be used as evidence if you consult with the police. • Take covert photos if possible of your stalker. • Save your evidence. Keep a copy in a separate location. • Write everything down. You can never have enough too much evidence. The more the better, no matter how small or trivial it seems.
Take measures to protect your children from giving your stalker information. • If you have children, make sure that they are always accompanied to and from school and activities. Notify your children's school (s) not to give out any of your personal information, and provide the schools with a list of individuals who are permitted to pick up your children. Ask school staff to request that anyone on your approved list provide the school with their photo ID to validate their identity. If you cannot pick up your children, contact the school to let them know exactly who will be picking them up. • Give your children a "secret word." If the person who comes for the children does not know the secret word when asked (by the children), then instruct your children do not go with him/her and instead call for help immediately.
Improve your home security systems • Review your current door locks and if affordable upgrade to bolted locks. Try to have a peephole installed on your door. If affordable try to install hurricane grade windows to replace regular windows that are most vulnerable to a break ins. Try to Install a security system even for apartments which are not very expensive. Put your indoor lights on a timer system so it looks like someone is always home A dog (or even a 'beware of dog sign') is a deterrent to a stalker trying to break in. • Ask the police to try to do drive by your home more frequently if possible to check-up on your property or to see if your stalker is in or around your home of neighbourhood
Consider carrying a personal defense system like a pepper spray. • Carrying pepper spray is quite easy and it is not a heavy object. If you take a moment to familiarize yourself with it and how to used one it is a very effective protective tool. • Never carrying a firearm unless you have been trained by a professional and if you have been issued a “Concealed Carry Weapon Permit” by a law enforcement agency so you are in compliance with your state's concealed firearm laws. • Keep in mind that any weapon you carry could be used against you during an attack. This is a subject that you should discuss with law enforcement or better yet if it is affordable think of hiring a Bodyguard • Learning Martial Arts is an excellent way of protecting yourself without having to carry a weapon.
Prepare an emergency plan that you can easily utilize in case of a break-in or an attack. • You should have an exit strategy plan in place that allows you to remove yourself from where your stalker might try to enter. • Select a home of someone you trust to go to and where only your closest friends and family will know it’s location. • You should have a duffle bag packed with essential to take with you should you have to get someplace safe quickly, such as; money, some clothing, medication and etc.
• Be ready to leave at a drop of a hat if need be. Instead of always worrying, have a plan in place so that you can flee without having to think of packing.
Discuss a temporary restraining order (TRO) or (TPO) temporary protective order with a lawyer and with police •
Keep in mind that a TRO or TPO is to initiate and assist you with the legal process it cannot physically protect you from a stalker who is inclined towards violence. You must be responsible for your safety even with a TRO or TPO in place.
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Always carry on your person the court case number for your protective or restraining order to give to law enforcement if your stalker violates the court order.
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If your stalker shows or does not show up in court the judge will upon seeing sufficient evidence that you are being stalked will grant you a TRO or TPO. That being the case, your stalker cannot falsely claim to police that he/she wasn't aware of the TRO or TPO because the stalker will be notified by the court via mail. This of course only applies when you know the identity of your stalker and their address.
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When appearing in court either you or your attorney must bring into court any evidence of stalking you have.
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Should your stalker violate the court order they can be arrested.
Utilize your Knowledge on the spot • Knowledge is Power: The more you understand your situation, the better you’ll be able to handle it. Learn everything you can about stalking and stalkers. You may never understand your stalker but you’ll know what to expect.
Thank You
• Worldwide Intelligence Network(WIN) Los Angeles, New York and the World California Private Investigator License # 14745 California Bodyguard License # 15757 New York Private Investigator’s License ID # 11000008057
• Website: www.wincor.com • Email: win@wincor.com • Phone: (877) 885-5220