COMMENT

STEPS TO HEAVEN

So here we go again! By the time you read this the next raft of restrictions will (hopefully) have been lifted and we’ll be one step further along to getting back to some sort of normality, although what normal will be after the shenanigans of the last year or so remains to be seen!

I have copied the next part directly from gov.uk to get it straight from the horse’s mouth, so to speak. It states: “Step 2, which will be no earlier than 12 April, will see the opening of non-essential retail; personal care premises such as hairdressers and nail salons; Hospitality venues will be allowed to serve people outdoors at Step 2 and there will be no need for customers to order a substantial meal with alcoholic drinks and no curfew, although customers must order, eat and drink while seated (‘table service’). Wider social contact rules will apply in all these settings to prevent indoor mixing between different households.”

I am very much looking forward to getting my nails done, as you can imagine, and as for my hair! My hair has a slight ‘wave’ in it apparently, so when I decided I would grow it (as I couldn’t get it cut anyway), what I didn’t realise was because of said wave, my hair, as it got longer, wouldn’t grow downward in the customary way (I envisaged a sleek Greek god style look). Instead, my hair has grown up and out like some kind of crazy Einstein effect but, if I’m honest even more pronounced. If you know of any birds that haven’t found anywhere to nest yet this spring just send them my way, and they needn’t be small birds either!!

We no longer need to order ‘a substantial meal’ with alcohol either! I say we when actually I mean you as I haven’t had a drink since 2009, and I don’t mean just before 10 past 8 yesterday evening!! I can imagine the euphoria though and can remember the anticipation of fancying a pint. Yes, it’s going to be carnage. May I take a moment to offer a little advice? Just because you don’t need to order food doesn’t mean you shouldn’t!! Maybe a

substantial meal on that first evening out might be the sensible way to go if you want to remember where you live and not wake up on the 13th in a neighbour’s garden cuddling the birdbath thinking it was a toilet!

On a slightly different subject, although these days there’s almost always only one subject. I’ve had my vaccine (first dose) already and I have to say I found the whole thing to be a really life affirming experience. Not only did I get a fleeting glimpse into the hard work all our lovely NHS staff are putting in but it felt great to play a small part in a massive collective effort among a - socially distanced - group of others all doing the same. It was also nice to get out of the house! Sadly, there are a few out there who are convinced the Government is out to get us all and won’t have the vaccine. Trust the science and don’t be so selfish I say to them. I for one have had enough of this nightmare and would like to get back to normal. I want to see friends and family in whatever sized groups I like. I want to go to the shops without my glasses steaming up. I want kids to be able to play with their friends again. I want to head over on matchdays to watch Bath Rugby. I want the stoic souls working in supermarkets and on public transport and in hospitals and in schools to get a proper break from all this craziness and God I want to

go on holiday! It’s sad, misguided souls like them that are going to perpetuate this mess... just have the vaccine for all our sakes and think about society as whole for once and not just yourself. There you go that told ‘em, vaccine uptake will now be 100%....probably!

“Just because you don’t need to order food doesn’t mean you shouldn’t!! Maybe a substantial meal on that first evening out might be the sensible way to go”

Phil Rockliffe