God's Phenomenal Woman Magazine by God's Phenomenal Woman Magazine

Editor in Chief Candy LaFlora

Editor at Large Stephen LaFlora

INSIDE THE SEPTEMBER ISSUE RESET! A NEW SEASON HAS BEGUN by Candy LaFlora

CHANGE YOUR APPROACH AND GIVE YOUR SOUL A VACATION by Joyce Meyer

EQUALS IN CHRIST by Taffi Dollar

A LITTLE APPRECIATION GOES A LONG WAY by Dr. Dee Dee Freeman

10 STEPS TO FINALLY LEAVE A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP by Stephanie LaFlora Sinish

ELEVATE YOUR LIFE by Pastor Sonjia Dickerson

WE CAN DO THIS! by Dr. Patricia Brown

CELEBRATE LIFE by Candy LaFlora

COULD IT BE YOUR MOUTH? by Helen Washington

BE BRAVE. by Ieshia Gray

HEALTHY EATING by Tawaga Roberts

GOODBYE SUMMER, HELLO FALL by Jasmine LaFlora Walker

COVER PHOTO AND DESIGN David Dickerson Photography and Design MAGAZINE LAYOUT VASHTI’S creative ideas through the eyes of God...

RESET! A New Season

by Candy LaFlora

I can recall one of our road trips from Tulsa, OK to Chicago, IL. We were coming home for Christmas break from Rhema Bible Training Center where we were attending. As we set out for our long drive home, it began to snow. Unfortunately we weren’t aware of the forecast for this journey from the south to the north. Unplanned and unequipped we found ourselves in a snowy drive, with Stephen purposing to get us home safely. A

Are We There Yet? Have you ever been on a road trip? My husband Stephen’s motto is “A family isn’t a family until you’ve been on a road trip together.” Road trips can bring out the best and the worst in a family. If planned well; a road trip can be fun and full of amazing explorative destinations. If planned poorly or no plan at all; a road trip can become your worst nightmare, leaving you in pure agony.

snowstorm was now approaching. I noticed many nice hotels that we could hunker down in and wait out the storm. While driving I posed the question to my husband, “Do you think we should just stop and stay at a hotel?” “No, I think we can make it home” was his reply. We continued driving and the storm began to get denser. There was virtually no visibility. Thankfully, we were low on gas and needed to stop. So, as we pulled into the gas station, I asked God to give my husband wisdom to see that it would be wise to pull over and spend the night somewhere. I also prayed that God would speak clearly and strongly to Steve so that he would obey Him immediately. Once he returned to the car from pumping gas I asked again, “Do you think we could stop and spend the night somewhere?” To my surprise my amazing husband said again, “No I believe we can make it home; we will be fine.” I thought clearly, he is delusional, and the cold is apparently affecting his thinking. So, I said softly to myself “God help me!” God did it suddenly. Our car would not start. No matter how many times he tried, it would not

turn over. Now, this gas station happened to also have a “not so nice” motel attached to it where we would spend the night. Despite the condition of our sleeping quarters, we were safe and dry. It put me in the mind of the “Bates Motel” from the Alfred Hitchcock movie. Through it all we stayed true to our wedding vows: “for better or for worse.” This was our worse! Well planned trips typically consist of realistic periods of driving and resting. It can be difficult and stressful being with a driver who refuses to stop for breaks, to stretch, look at beautiful sights; or on the other hand a driver who stops too often. Even though a journey can be long, if you start with a plan where you’ve calculated the distance, estimated the time of arrival, and included rest stops with beautiful points of interest, then you can avoid the redundant question- “Are we there yet?” This year kicked off with a huge bang! In the dawning of the spring of 2020, a virus named COVID-19 enveloped the whole world. As 2

a result of this global pandemic, cities were shut down, retail establishments were minimally accessible and educational institutions closed for in person instruction. Many things shifted to new online experiences, from church services to increased online shopping. Traveling the world diminished as people were ordered to quarantine themselves in their homes as much as possible, to help the Center for Disease Control to get a handle on the spread of the virus. This stay at home order has allowed some families the time to focus and rediscover the lost joy of family time. The mandate on local churches forbidding them to gather was something we have never imagined. Little did we know; “a new season” had begun!

yet.” But as I continue to observe them, there does not seem to be a plan, a GPS, nor a roadmap on how to get there. I am not always sure they even know where “there” is. So, without a plan, this journey seems long and endless. It appears that people have gone from March 2020 to now September 2020 with no plan, no rest stops, no points of interest, just out on a journey with no focus and no ending point. In my spirit, I hear the Holy Spirit asking this question – “Are we there yet?” He told me to ask you - “Are you there yet?” We can no longer just go day to day without an agenda from God. It is vital and essential to seek God regarding this new journey in life. Get His plan and plug into His GPS, (God’s Purposed Strategy). God has a plan for your life. It has not changed just because a pandemic came. Jeremiah 29:11 AMP says, “11 For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you,’ says the LORD, ‘plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.”

If you look at this as a road trip, the first thing you must do is to get a plan. Not your self-initiated plan, but rather a strategic plan from God. Make Him the designated driver. Questions to ponder: “What is my destination?” “How do I get there?” “How long will it take?” Many times, when talking with Christians during this pandemic, I have heard this statement – “I’m just not there

What is your daily plan to get 3

you to “your there?” Where is “there” anyway? Do you even know? Do a self-evaluation, ask this question - Am I in the same place today that I was in March of this year? It is time to get moving in the things of God! Ask God to RESET and REALIGN your life. Ask Him to help you get back to His original intent for your life. He knows the plan and He is keenly aware of the directions and path needed so that you will finish this year strong. It is not too late.

A New Season Has Begun!

Don’t get stuck and left behind!

You’ve gone into my future to prepare the way, and in kindness you follow behind me to spare me from the harm of my past. With your hand of love upon my life, you impart a blessing to me.

Psalm 139:5 (TPT)

CHANGE

Your Approach and Give Your Soul a Vacation! by Joyce Meyer

One of the most comforting scriptures in the Bible is Matthew 11:28. In this verse, Jesus tells us, “Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls]” (AMPC). I think it’s interesting to note here that Jesus said He would “ease and relieve and refresh” our souls, not our bodies. It sounds like He’s saying we need to give our souls a vacation.

THE INNER

AND

OUTER LIVES

We all have two lives: an inner life and an outer life. Your inner life is your soul life, which includes your mind, will and emotions. Your outer life is your physical life. And while God cares about every detail of your life, He is more concerned with your inner life than your outer life. I have found that it’s possible to give your body rest but not your soul. For example, have you ever had trouble going to sleep because you were worrying about a problem and couldn’t stop thinking about it? This kind of activity just wears us out inwardly. We can also wear our souls out with too many thoughts running on, too many decisions to make, too much talking, and too much multitasking. Worry, fear, excessive concern about what other people think and insecurity are also common reasons people are worn-out and don’t have any peace. I remember when I used to be jealous of Dave and the peace he had. I was worn-out most of the time, worrying about problems, 5

but he wasn’t. Now, we had the same problems, but while they wore me out, Dave was still peaceful and happy because he would cast his cares on God. One of his favorite scriptures is 1 Peter 5:7, which says, “Cast all your anxiety on [God] because he cares for you” (NIV). And even now, anytime someone goes to Dave with a problem, he’ll encourage them to “cast your care” and give them that scripture. It used to make me so mad when he wouldn’t get upset when I was upset, but eventually, I got to the place where I was desperate to have what he had. So I prayed and told God I would do whatever I had to do to be peaceful, and He taught me how to change my approach to life.

THE REVELATION THAT CHANGED MY LIFE

I came to realize that the world is not going to change, the devil is not going to change, and all of the people who bother me probably aren’t going to change, so I have to decide to change. In John 14:27 (AMPC), Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you; My [own] peace I now give…to you. …Do not let your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. [Stop allowing yourselves to be agitated and disturbed; and do not permit yourselves to be fearful and intimidated and cowardly and unsettled.]” So we can be peaceful and make the decision not to be troubled, afraid, agitated and disturbed, but it won’t just happen automatically. The truth is, we won’t have peace if we don’t pursue it on purpose, because there will always be opportunities to get upset or offended about something. For example, you lose your car keys when you’re running late, or you get caught in a traffic jam, or someone at work gets the promotion you wanted, or the electric bill is higher than you expected it to be…and on and on. There can 6

“PEACE I LEAVE WITH YOU; MY [OWN] PEACE I NOW GIVE… TO YOU. …

be an endless cycle of situations to get upset about. We also have to remember that we have an enemy who wants to keep us worn-out. The devil is a peace stealer and he works hard to set us up to get upset. But we can learn how to change our approach so we don’t live upset all of the time. And Jesus gives us the best example to follow.

THE KEY TO LIVING IN PEACE

Jesus didn’t conform to the world—He walked in the Spirit. When He felt tired and pressured from the crowds who wanted Him to help them, He took time to walk away and get rest. He spent time in prayer, alone with the Father, because He knew He wouldn’t be any good to anybody if He didn’t get refreshed. It’s so easy to let other people’s needs and emergencies control and manipulate us. And when we let others run our lives, we can get to the point that we’re falling apart. It’s not wrong to want to help or please people, but we need to take care of ourselves, calm down and stop getting upset about things that usually don’t really matter anyway. Make the decision today to commit your ways to the Lord and rest in Him. Cast your cares on Him, knowing He loves and cares about you all the time, in every situation of your life. He’ll meet you where you are and ease, relieve and refresh your soul!

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Equals= IN CHRIST

by Taffi Dollar

Since childhood, most of us have been indoctrinated with the world’s idea of what it means to be female and what it means to be male. Boys were held to a certain standard, and girls were held to a different one. These standards are actually unscriptural, and have limited both genders in all areas of their lives. God sent his Son to remove the limitations and level the playing field between men and women; and this knowledge transforms not only our marriages but all other relationships as well.

unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth” (Genesis 1:27, 28). Dominion was to be over all creation, not over each other. Jesus came to remove the heavy yoke sin had placed on gender relations and restore equality the way he intended it. When the norm was to relegate women to second-class status, he deliberately went against the status quo by ministering to women as well as men (Luke 8:43-48; John 4:5-29; John 8:1-11), and making women a part of his ministry (Luke 8:1-3). His death and resurrection ended the war between men and women that started in the garden of Eden. “For he is our peace, who hath made both one, and hath broken down the middle wall of partition between us; having abolished in his flesh the enmity, even the law of commandments contained in ordinances; for to make in himself of twain one new man, so making

God wants the best for all of us, regardless of who we are. The sin that Adam and Eve committed resulted in man’s domination over woman (Genesis 3:16), and this has warped our thinking without us even being aware of it. But this was not God’s original plan; in fact, when he created Adam and Eve, he created them as equals. “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said 11

peace; and that he might reconcile both unto God in one body by the cross, having slain the enmity thereby. For through him we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father” (Ephesians 2:14-16, 18). If this message seems far-fetched, it is because it’s radically different than what most of us have learned. We’ve been stuck in the wrong value system, and our wrong-thinking has limited God in what he can do in our lives. Many of us may have felt called to a particular task but shied away from it because we thought our gender, race, social or economic status, or other factors excluded us. But when we learn to think about ourselves the way God thinks of us, we’re freed from all limitations. Believing in what Jesus did on the cross two thousand years ago to restore equality between women and men gives us the courage to be ourselves, the way God always intended for us to be. There’s no reason to neglect his call on our lives simply because of gender, because there is no male or female in Christ (Galatians 3:28). Our faith in this empowers us and gives us the courage to change our lives, and be a life-changing example to others. —Taffi Dollar

A Little Appreciation GoesaLongWay!

by Dr. Dee Dee Freeman

Rain, rain, go away was my cry for two days as I sat in the house in the Bahamas. I had left the snow to come to the Bahamas to handle some business, and I wanted some fun in the sun. You know we all want what we want and when we want it right, but somehow, the sun was taking longer than I anticipated. So, what do you do? I made some inside fun happen with my grandkisses and Brelyn. How many times have things not gone the way that you expected or wanted? What did you do at that moment, especially when you cannot change what’s currently happening? Life will throw things at you that you never planned for, but you have to learn how to make the best out of every moment regardless. Never let them see you sweat! I don’t know who them is, but you know what I mean. I am working hard at growing up this year. I have identified areas in my life that need work. I refuse to be in the same place next year, and I am not giving myself that long to do it, that just sounds good to say (LOL). I have learned that change is a matter of making a decision, so I have decided to be better. Moving on, so I’m sitting there in the Bahamas thinking about the goodness of God. I have four of my grandkisses with me. That night at about eleven pm, I took the oldest one, Konner, outside with me to walk around the property. We stopped periodically to enjoy the view. I looked at him and said, “God did this, and we always have to be grateful and show appreciation for His goodness towards us. Right after I finished sharing with him, Mike, my husband, face timed us, and Konner said, to him, “G, we are looking at what God has done for 16

us.” His little voice was raised to a high pitch, his eyes gleamed, and he started to leap up and down. He was so excited to share with G about the Father’s blessing that it made me excited again. I thought I was excited until I saw his reaction. I learned a powerful lesson again that night. Sometimes we get so relaxed with God’s blessings that we don’t always show appreciation like we did when we first started seeing His blessings. Have you ever given someone something, and they were so excited that you wanted to give them more? I’m not saying God is like that, but if He is anything like what He has created, and we are his creation, He is like us. My point is, don’t take anything for granted. Pause and appreciate the people and things you have in your life. I mean really appreciate it all. Not just that superficial thank you, and I love you but pray that your heart will be connected with your words. Let people feel the love and appreciation. Mike tells me at times that he doesn’t always feel appreciated for what he has provided for our family. I Thank God, he said it to me so I can make the correction. Sad to say that everyone won’t tell you how they feel, they will just walk away from you. The feeling I received from Konner’s excitement motivated me to be excited about God on another level. Don’t get me wrong, I am not tripping, and I have not walked away from my relationship with Him. We are responsible for keeping it fresh and real. I don’t want to be stale in any of my relationships, and it’s not because of what they do for me, but because I choose to be in these relationships – so, I choose to keep it fresh. Tell yourself, “KEEP IT FRESH.” Get around new Christians that are excited about Jesus. I promise it will keep you “LIT” as the young people will say. I appreciate you sisters!!

10 STEPS TO Finally Leave A ToxiC RELATIONSHIP

by Stephanie Imani LaFlora-Sinish

point, however, where you have to decide that your happiness is more important than the irrational security of a dysfunctional situation. I’m here to tell you how I ditched my own toxic relationship. Before I could move on, I had to accept the fact that despite my positive self-image, I had allowed myself to plunge deep into a place where I did not belong. I’ve been there, so I share this list with the utmost sincerity and sensitivity.

by Stephanie Imani LaFlora

With such a passionate response to my last article, “10 Ways to Recognize a Good Guy,” I felt the need to do a followup that addressed the other side of the coin. Many women may have read the “Good Guy” list and thought, “Well, I guess it’s time I admit my man is no good.” I’d hate to leave that reader hanging, since I believe firmly in presenting solutions and not just pointing out problems.

1. SEEK GOD!

Toxic relationships inhibit peace, destroy self-confidence, and hinder your ability to make wise choices. In extreme cases, these relationships can include emotional or physical abuse. But, wherever they fall on the spectrum, all toxic relationships lead to unhappiness — and they are difficult to leave. There comes a

When you are in a toxic relationship, you usually have begun ignoring God altogether. You figure you already know what He thinks about your situation while in reality God is not burdening you or even making you feel guilty. You know all He wants to say to you right now? 19

I LOVE YOU! That’s it. Stop beating yourself up. Get in the Word and see what He really thinks about you. Remind yourself that you are beautifully and wonderfully made! It won’t feel right at first, but if you meditate on that thing, it will grow and develop. I remember what God told me when I was really in deep: “I will restore you to a point even better than you ever once were.” And He did! I would have never believed that in the thick of it, but God WILL hear your cry and He will always give you a fresh start, if you REALLY want it. 2. Reconnect with People Who Have Known You Longer It wasn’t until I started spending more time with family, that I realized something had really happened to me and the change wasn’t positive. Being around people that knew me before my corrupt relationship not only put into perspective how much I had changed, but also how awesomely happy I used to be. This was a crucial part of my process because one of the first changes that usually happens in a toxic relationship is you begin to distance yourself from friends and family. Call up an old friend, spend a day shopping with a family member you haven’t spent time with in a while. This will provide healing, although it may be uncomfortable because this is likely to bring conviction. 3. Stop Making Excuses This may be the hardest one to do. By now you’ve probably been told by a few people that your relationship is having a negative impact on your life, and you’ve probably told a few, if not all, of those people off. So, it’s certainly not going to be easy for you to swallow a few of those statements and digest them. The next time you catch yourself defending your relationship or your man, don’t! Ask yourself, if this person NEVER changes a single thing about himself, the way he treats you, or the way he treats others, will you be able to be at peace? If the answer is no, start accepting that you have to leave. 4. Have a “Me Day” In a toxic relationship, you feel completely consumed with making things better. You absolutely never consider yourself, and the guy always 20

takes priority. Take a day to do all the things you never do for yourself. Go out with your girlfriends, go to the spa, or spend some time relaxing without him! 5. Get in Shape! This may seem like an odd suggestion, but you will be surprised how disciplined you can become in other areas of your life when you discipline yourself to workout. Getting in shape will also boost your self-confidence and help relieve stress. This is not superficial at all; you’ve spent enough time taking care of “project relationship,” next goal = project me! 6. Make a List of Pros and Cons In Tyler Perry’s Why Did I Get Married?, Janet Jackson’s character dropped some good advice when she told her girlfriend to write a list of reasons to stay and reasons to leave. I took that advice! By the time I got done with the list, I had three pages of cons and a pitiful half-page list of pros. Man, was that mind blowing! How on earth did I even want to stay? I learned that the main reason was because I felt leaving was losing rather than gaining “me” back. I put a lot of time and effort into that relationship, I wasn’t about to give up now! Obviously, my perspective was WAY off. Thank God for grace! 7. Tell Him NO! Rinse. Repeat. At this point, your man is so used to getting his way, he doesn’t even think he has to ask for it! I think Beyoncé said it best in her lyrics, “The first time I said no, it’s like I never said yes.” He throws tantrums when he doesn’t get his way and spends a great deal of his time trying to tell you what to do with every aspect of your life. Decide today to stop letting him act out. You have a good head on your shoulders and you have the Holy Spirit inside of you, desperately trying to get your attention. You’ve changed a lot of your normal activities to cater to his mood swings and you tell him what he needs to hear. Here’s a revelation: Tell him NO! And then do it again, and again. You will see just how little he loves you, and how much he loves himself! 21

8. Take Inventory of Your “Friend Zone” I consider myself a pretty confident person, but after a few consecutive failed relationships even I had begun to lose faith that an “ideal” man existed. Looking back, ironically enough I had several examples of good men close to me, and chances are you do too. The funny thing is that those men cared very deeply for me. I called them when things went wrong, and they were always there with a listening ear. (Don’t go jumping into their arms, carelessly thinking you’ve fallen in love because you’re wounded, but do take inventory of all the good men around you — friends and family — to remind yourself that your high standard does exist.) 9. Reject Guilt Guilt is a dangerously powerful emotion. It’s absolutely imperative that you forgive yourself for falling in love with that fool in the first place. Depending on how toxic your toxic relationship was, this step can take years. Unfortunately, even though you may have taken a huge step towards your future by leaving the relationship, the people around you may not be as supportive and sensitive as you need them to be. It amazed me how vocal people were in support of me leaving him, but how unhelpful they were when I needed to talk. You may be the only one to forgive you for your past, so make sure you do it! 10. NEVER LOOK BACK! Say this out loud: “We can never be friends!” Keep practicing it until you can say it to him. Don’t fool yourself into believing your situation is different. No, it’s not! Never looking back was the best thing I ever did. Despite all of my regrets and embarrassments over my past, never looking back is one thing I can actually be proud of. Going cold turkey is like an honor badge that anyone that’s ever kicked an addiction can understand. Somehow it restores some of your pride. It’s like all of the sudden, the lights turned on and I could finally see the door! I just walked out; and it was the best feeling I’ve ever had. I knew it was the right thing to do, although I had tried to leave before and had quite a different experience. I was miserable and depressed. You know what made the difference? God! I tried to do it on my own the first time 22

and failed. The second time, it was like the welcome-back party for the prodigal son. It was beautiful. I say this with love in my heart. This is for all of the women I have known in toxic situations, and for the ones that I know right now who are struggling. That toxic situation is trying its best to take you out, but it’s not too late. God’s power to transform and redeem is so amazing that you’ll hardly recognize your old self once you allow Him to work in you. Forgive yourself and move on; there’s more living for you to do.

Stephanie Imani LaFlora-Sinish

by Pastor Sonjia Dickerson

Your Life

Elevate. The very word rings with excitement and adventure. To ele-

vate means to raise or lift something to a higher position. It’s common for people to want to move up in life, love, and business. Many people attribute elevation to external factors, when it’s really based upon you. Instead of waiting for others, you must understand that you control the elevation in your life. Often we get mired in the muddy places of fear, self doubt, insecurity, and negativity, just to name a few. When those emotions are swirling within you it’s almost impossible to reach your full potential. That’s exactly where the enemy wants you to be! But here’s great news! You can elevate your life and come up and out of the things bogging you down! Here are some powerful ways to elevate!

Elevate your PRAYER

Pray without ceasing. I Thessalonians 5:17 Prayer is conversation with God. Prayer is the very breath of the believer. You don’t have to be in a particular place or say particular words, but you must pray. Spending time with God allows you to hear Him and the things in your life will change because you implemented what you heard God say. In God’s presence the problems which looked so big become tiny as they are dwarfed by God’s power and sovereignty. The people in your life will know when you have prayed because not only will your life change, but your interaction with them will change. They will be blessed because you spent time in God’s face in prayer. Make prayer a central part of your life and watch as you grow closer to God and walk in His strength and

power. Elevate your life by elevating your prayer!

with anyone. Be quick to forgive. Unforgiveness hurts you worse than the one you aren’t forgiving. Show love and extend grace. After all, God extended grace to you. Often we become short patienced with others. They get on our nerves and we write them off! Aren’t you grateful God didn’t treat us that way? Instead He loved us past our faults and failures. Elevate your love walk by deciding to love even when it’s not reciprocated! Even when it’s not appreciated! Even when it’s not acknowledged! Love through it all. Elevate your life by elevating your love walk!

Elevate your PRAISE Let every thing that hath breath praise the LORD. Praise ye the LORD. Psalms 150:6 Take your mind off of your circumstances, the things which seem to be going wrong, and the things you’d like to change and instead praise God with your whole heart. Current events, the constant drum beat of the news cycle, and even personal things happening in our lives and the lives of those we love can make it seem as if all is lost! Flip the script and remember we have so much to praise God for. The Lord has been good to us. We are here and we are blessed and must never forget, what we have, the Lord allowed us to have it. The very air we breathe is a gift from God. Thank the Lord for His faithfulness, mercy, grace, life, health, strength, a mind to think, the ability to move, etc. And the list goes on and on! Elevate your life by elevating your praise!

Elevate your FAITH If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Matthew 17:20b Do you have mountain moving faith? It’s not just reserved for leaders in the church or clergy. All of us have been given a measure of faith and we have the power to speak to the mountains in our lives and confidently say “get out of the way” and the mountains have to go! Are you facing

Elevate your LOVE WALK Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself. Matthew 19:19b Love everybody! Don’t get in strife 29

a mountain which seems insurmountable? It’s just a word away from being removed! Believe God for big things. Don’t play God small. This is so exciting to know we are not limited by man’s measures or confinements. Mountains may seem intimidating to others but not to us! We serve the one and only great God who does great things. Activate your faith. Speak faith and walk faith and expect the impossible to manifest in your life. Elevate your life by elevating your faith! As we elevate our prayer, praise, love walk, and faith we will see a great change in our lives. Elevation not only pulls you out of what’s been holding you back, but it places you above it! When you’re above something it no longer affects you in the same way. Let’s elevate our lives and receive and do everything God has for us! Elevate!

your PRAYER your PRAISE your LOVE WALK your FAITH 30

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We Can Do This! by Dr. Pat Brown

As all parents will attest, raising children isn’t an easy process. I have faced many challenges, but raising godly children is the most important job of my life. How I raise my children will not only affect them, but also my grandchildren and every generation to come until Jesus returns. Don’t panic! We can do all things with God’s help. I am the mother of teenage twins, and I have been their sole parent since they were 3. When I was recently divorced, I would refer to myself as a single parent. Then one day, I told someone that I was a single mom, and the Holy Spirit very gently said, “Stop saying that. You are not a single parent; you have the Father, Jesus and me.” That revelation forever changed how I view myself and my children. We are so blessed, and there is nothing missing. God has been the most amazing Father, provider, protector and supplier of EVERYTHING that we need. Being the only adult in my house has given me an awesome opportunity to fall deeply in love with my Father, and I yearn for the day that I get to see Him face to face! I want to share with you some things I’ve learned that have been helpful during my parenting journey. 1. The most important thing that my mother ever taught me is that God loves me and that I am special to Him. Because of this knowledge, I have a sense of invincibility because if God is for me, who or what can be against me. This has sustained me through every phase and challenge of my life. I am passing this on to my children as well. 2. I have developed a relationship with the Holy Spirit such that I acknowledge Him as my unseen partner. Throughout the day, I consult Him about decisions I need to make, activities that my children 32

and I may participate in, as well as other issues that arise. My children will ask me about a certain thing, and if I am not clear on whether it’s good for them, I will say, “I need to ask the Holy Spirit, and I will let you know.” I am not a fanatic; I have access to the most powerful being who knows all things and who has my best interest at heart. I developed this relationship by spending time with Him, thinking about Him, reading my bible, praying in the Spirit, by making Him my friend. In the natural, when we want to be close to someone, we want to know everything about them, their favorite color, food, likes, dislikes, etc. The same applies to God; I seek to know Him better. There is even a particular song that He likes for me to sing to Him. It’s about relationship. 3. I choose godly friends with experience. Most of my friends are much older than I, and I value their experience and heed their sound advice. I don’t hang out with negative, overly critical, consistently angry or gossiping people. I befriend people who are genuinely happy for me when I succeed. I do not need to be around “closet haters”. I prefer those who are honest with me and will tell me when I am wrong or need correction. 4. I had to learn to shut my mouth! This is a big issue which I am learning to perfect. I stopped having long conversations with family and friends about my children. Now, my children can be raising all kinds of hell, but if you ask me how they are, I will say “all is well”. I am reminded of the Shunammite woman whose son was DEAD, and when she went to the prophet, all she would say is “IT IS WELL”. (2 Kings 4:25-26) Because of the steadfastness of her confession (what she said), her son was resurrected. I am not lying when I say “all is well”, but I am being an imitator of my Father as a dear child (Ephesians 5:1), and I am saying those things that I desire as if they already exist. (Romans 4:17) If I must communicate to my inner circle what’s going on, I will likely text it (my spoken words are very powerful). If I must use speech, I 33

am very careful about stating the behavior in the present tense. For example, I will say “Johnny has been rebellious”, and not “I don’t know what’s wrong with that child. He has such a hard head.” Words are so important! 5. Finally and along the same line, I speak life over my children. Daily I confess Isaiah 54:13, inserting their names. I often say to my son “you are an awesome man of God; you are a man of excellence and you will fulfill God’s destiny for your life”. To my daughter, I say “you are an awesome woman of God, a woman of virtue and of excellence; you have an amazing future.” Even when they are not in my presence, I say these things about them. I pray Psalm 91 over myself and my family daily. We as mothers are so powerful; we have the opportunity to mould the amazing godly people which are much needed for our world. Being a parent is a marathon not a sprint, some days are easier than others. However, we are not alone. We have God’s help and the support of family and friends. We can do this!

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Now more than ever I realize the importance of Celebrating Life: The little things, the big things, birthdays, weddings, the birth of a child or grandchild, your anniversary; and whatever good God brings into your life, celebrate It!â&#x20AC;?

Photo: My daughter and son-love Brett & Stephanie Sinish wedding.

Celebrate

Life

by Candy LaFlora

Each morning when I wake up the first thing I say is: “Good Morning Holy Spirit! Thank You for another day!” Now more than ever I realize the importance of Celebrating Life: The little things, the big things, birthdays, weddings, the birth of a child or grandchild, your anniversary; and whatever good God brings into your life, celebrate it, big or small!

gotta be there!” WHY? When the individual was alive you missed everything, but after their passing you felt you had to be there! I have watched people spend large sums of money to secure limousine service for the family for a funeral but would not spend money for a family vacation while the person was living. Why not experience the joy of hearing and seeing your loved one while they are alive? Celebrate them now!

I am amazed at what people do when someone dies, not to mention the money they will spend. But while the person was alive, they were too busy to call, send a card, go visit, or take time off work to attend a birthday or wedding event. But at the short notice of a loved one’s passing, flowers and cards are sent, and sometimes expensive airline tickets purchased to attend the funeral. I cannot begin to tell you how many times I have heard the statement: “You know I’ve

It’s time to celebrate life! One of the biggest mistakes people make is to allow the enemy to persuade them to delay offering Forgiveness. Too much of life’s precious time is wasted holding grudges and delaying giving the gift of forgiveness. Why waste a beautiful day, week, or even an hour staying upset? Poison 40

each other just because we are planning an amazing vacation in the future.”

is released in the body when grudges are held. However, endorphins are released in our bodies when we act in love. Forgiving others is more important for you than it is for the other person. So if you know you are going to get over the issue and eventually let it go, then why delay offering forgiveness? Be quick to forgive!! Time is valuable so don’t waste it on the being unforgiving because this will result in your own spiritual and perhaps emotional imprisonment.

Each day we can find special moments to enjoy. Special moments do not necessarily mean big moments. However, we can find greatness even in the little things. Taking a walk with your spouse or playing games with your kids and grandkids can be among those special moments. Shopping and hanging out with a good friend can be one of those special moments. These are all wonderful moments in life to cherish. Our families and friends are precious gifts from God. We should learn to enjoy them as much as we can in this life and learn to make those everyday moments big. Take time to call a loved one just because they came across your mind. Share your heart with your loved ones and it will bring joy and increase your life. Don’t celebrate dead things.

I prefer that people not send me flowers that I cannot smell or cards that I cannot read. It is useless to lavish me with kind words and expressions when I cannot hear them. Life Is for the Living! Make time now to enjoy the people that God has placed in your life. My husband Stephen taught me this lesson years ago in our marriage, He would say: “we shouldn’t miss great everyday moments with

Celebrate Life! 41

Imagine this painting on your wall

Minnie Watkins Art minniewatkinsart.com

312.237.0287

FALL BACK INTO

GODâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S WORD

COULD IT BE YOUR

MOUTH? by Helen Washington

You pray…nothing happens. You pray again…nothing happens. You know the scriptures that line up with what you are believing God for. You pray…nothing happens again. Now, in between the “Amen” and the manifestation you spend time talking to your girlfriends about your problem. You talk to your mama, your sister, your brother, your husband, your coworker, and anybody else who will listen. You even to talk to yourself about your problem. But then, you pray again, and, nothing happens! Now you’re trying to figure out why you haven’t experienced manifestation of what you are “believing” God for. You prayed the Word of God. You got your prayer partner to agree with you in prayer. You patiently wait to see manifestation of what you say you are believing for. So, why hasn’t manifestation come? What’s the hold up?

COULD IT BE YOUR MOUTH? 46

Could it be that you are counteracting your prayers by what you are allowing to come out of your mouth? YES!!! Sure, you say all the right things in church. You even say all the right things around church people. When Pastor asks how you’re doing your response is “I’m blessed and highly favored!” When church folk ask how you’re doing your response is “I’m blessed by the best!” But, what about when you’re at home or on your job or with your BFF? What about when there is no one around whom you have to be spiritually accountable to? What about when you’re talking to your mother or your sister or some other family member who has no connection to the church? What about when you are with your co-workers? What’s your answer to “how are you doing”… then? Do you speak faith or do you speak doubt? Do you speak faith or do you speak symptoms? Do you speak faith or do you speak doctors’ reports? Do you speak faith or do you speak lack?

YOUR SAYING HAS TO LINE UP WITH YOUR PRAYING! If you want to see manifestation of your prayers, if you want to see the promises of God come to pass in your life, then YOUR SAYING HAS TO LINE UP WITH YOUR PRAYING! You either need to say the right thing or just shut your mouth! It’s tight, but… In the book of Luke God shut Zachariah’s mouth and he was not able to speak for the whole nine months that his wife was pregnant because Zachariah did not believe what Gabriel told him about the birth of his son, John the Baptist. Luke 1:11, 20 (AMP) And there appeared to Zachariah an angel of the Lord…20Now behold, you will be and will continue to be silent and not able to speak till the day when these things take place because you have not believed what I told you… The angel shut Zachariah’s mouth because Zachariah would have aborted that baby with his mouth! Instead of agreeing with the Word, Zachariah 47

spoke unbelief. Zachariah would have stopped the blessing of the Lord with his mouth just like the children of Israel stopped the blessing of the Lord with their mouths just like you may be stopping the blessing of the Lord and the answers to your prayers with your mouth. Selah. Unbelief is a dream killer. Unbelief is a prayer killer, and your mouth is the instrument that releases unbelief to manifest what the enemy wants in your life. Your mouth either makes your prayers or breaks your prayers! You release life or death the blessing or the curse in your life with your mouth! Proverbs 18:21 (AMP) Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it [for death or life]. I and another lady were talking to a young lady working in a store when the young lady began to talk about “her diabetes”. So, I asked the young lady, “Have you prayed and believed God for your healing?” And she said, “Yes ma’am!” My response to her, which she readily accepted was, “If you have already prayed and you are believing the Word of God, then your saying needs to line up with your praying. You need to say what God has said about you. I was healed by Jesus’ wounds so I am healthy!” (1 Peter 2:24). The Bible tells us to PRAY BELIEVING WE RECEIVE and we will have it! (Mark 11:24) The proof that we believe our prayers have been answered is by what we allow to come out of our mouths after we pray. One day I prayed and shared the Word of God with a teenager’s mother whom doctors had given three hours to live. I had never met this mother before but she readily received what God had me to share with her. I told her not to give anybody a play by play (doctor’s report) but to say to anyone who asked “all is well and her daughter was healed by Jesus’ wounds. We believed God for one day, then another day and on the third day we believed God for the rest of her life. God miraculously 48

healed that young lady because her mother refused to confess doctor’s reports and only confessed the Word of God after we prayed believing God!

If we are not going to speak the Word of God after we pray, then there is no use in praying at all! Could it be that your mouth is negating your prayers? Could it be that the only thing that’s keeping you from having what you say you are believing God for is not that you don’t pray it’s that you don’t say? You may be praying right, but you might just be saying wrong! Decide today to put a check on your mouth and add the right saying to your praying and watch the windows of heaven open over your life!

THE

Time IS Now!

BE BRAVE.

BE BRAVE. When we think of the word BRAVE, for whatever reason, we always think of other people. “Oh, she is so brave. Wow, he was so brave.” But no! I want you to describe yourself with that word and just be brave. So, to encourage you to remember the letters B-R-A-V-E. For B, let’s remember BE BRAVE. Be bold in your purpose. Be brave in your assignment. Be absolutely unwavering in your task, your job, whatever it is that God has given you to do. For R, REMEMBER YOU. You know… that you that was fearless; that you before he said you were worthless; that you before she said you couldn’t do it. Remember that child in you. Remember that God created you uniquely YOU. Some of us didn’t have the best garden keepers. Our parents weren’t there or were abusive. Our teachers didn’t think we could do it. Our friends had no faith. But remember we are not theirs but belong to God. God knew us before all of the junk. The moment we were created by him, he had instilled everything in us to be extraordinary. So, REMEMBER YOU. For A, ACCEPT YOUR PAST. 50

by Ieshia Gray

I didn’t say get over it. I didn’t say that what happened wasn’t wrong. I didn’t say it was your fault. I said, accept it and forgive. The biggest challenge and gift you can give yourself is to forgive and accept your past. There is more to look forward to in your present and your future, then there is looking back. Get out of that rearview mirror. Moving forward to V. Know always that VICTORY IS YOURS! You must claim it. In the face of opposition, you must demand it. When doubt creeps into your mind, you must say it to yourself over and over and over and over again. Victory is yours. And finally, E. Remember that EVERYTHING BELONGS TO GOD. Be brave during your storms. Be brave during your triumphs. Be brave through life. Your family deserves to see you BRAVE. Your children deserve to see you BRAVE. You deserve to be BRAVE. The time is NOW!

by Tawaga Roberts

What exactly is healthy eating? The numerous fads, pills, shakes, and diets on the market have made the thought of healthy eating seem extremely overwhelming. It doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to be. Simply stated, a healthy diet includes a variety of fruits and vegetables of many colors, whole grains and starches, good fats, and lean proteins. This should also include limiting the intake of salt and refined sugars. While this is true, it is also true that there is no cookie cutter plan for all to follow. There is no magical potion or chart to follow when individually establishing healthy eating habits for yourself. Healthy eating looks differently for everyone. The main goal in healthy eating is to eat less processed food and more real food. The great thing is that God has provided everything we need to live a healthy eating lifestyle. All of the vitamins and nutrients our bodies need to function properly can be found in fresh food options. 54

Eating food that is close as possible to the way God made it makes a huge difference in how your body can benefit from that particular food. For example, I enjoy eating French Fries. Potatoes are not a part of my every day intake, but when I want some, I want some. When the craving hits, a simple solution would be to open up a bag of frozen fries and throw them in some grease, toss with a little salt and pepper and enjoy, from freezer to plate in less than 10 minutes. A healthier solution would be to grab a potato, slice it up, toss with a little olive oil and put in the oven for approximately 25 minutes. The first way, greatly reduces the nutritional benefits of the potato. The second way, although it will take more time and energy, will allow you to enjoy your potato with fewer additives. I know some people cringe at the thought of potatoes and starch, but when it comes to my food Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m

more of a moderation is cool type of girl. There are so many options and do’s and don’ts out there ready and willing to confuse you so much you go right to pantry and grab a snack cake to help calm your nerves. Choosing a healthy eating lifestyle does not have to be overwhelming. Deciding which works for you can be a daunting task but the best way to choose which healthy eating habits are perfect is to first seek God and then listen! Listen to the Holy Spirit, listen to your body, and listen to the advice of your medical professionals. Below I’ve shared one of my favorite mushroom recipes that I discovered just browsing the internet. My family really enjoys eating mushrooms. They are so versatile and can be used as a great meat substitute. Mushrooms also provide a good source of iron, vitamin B, vitamin D. A few changes were made to fit my family’s preferences. Enjoy!

Stuffed Mushrooms INGREDIENTS:

1 ½ lbs Mushroom Buttons – (I prefer Baby Portobello) Oil of Choice – I prefer Olive Oil, (if you don’t do oil you could also use vegetable broth) ¼ cup Fresh Parsley – chopped 1 red bell pepper – chopped 1 small shallot – chopped 2 cloves garlic - minced ¼ cup sun dried tomatoes – chopped (I use the ones that come in the jar) ¾ cup walnuts – chopped 1 cup Spinach – chopped (Kale is a great substitute, you will just need to add it to the skillet sooner) Salt, Pepper, Garlic Powder to taste 55

Directions: Remove mushroom stems and set aside. Brush mushroom caps with oil and bake for 10 minutes (place on parchment paper if not using oil). Chop the mushroom stems along with all of the other ingredients. Place about a tbsp of oil in a pan (or 2 tbsp of broth) and sautĂŠ the bell pepper, shallot, garlic, and sun dried tomatoes if not using the ones in the jar. SautĂŠ until veggies are slightly tender then add stems, walnuts, sundried tomatoes (jarred) and continue to sautĂŠ just until stems are slightly tender. Add Spinach and stir until slightly wilted. Remove from heat and fill caps. Sprinkle with chopped parsley before returning to the oven for an additional 10-15 minutes. *If using Kale, add halfway through the cooking time for the peppers, shallots, garlic*

Goodbye Summer, Hello Fall

As the leaves begin to fall and the sun starts to set earlier, the first thought that sets in is fall by Jasmine LaFlora-Walker shopping! We’re ready to swap breezy dresses for sweaters and often feel the pressure to hit the stores. However, you likely already have pieces that will work for both seasons. Grab your pumpkin spice latte and begin to imagine new looks for less for this seasonal transition!

Tip #1 – Just Add Tights

Adding tights and even leggings to summer skirts and dresses can not only allow versatile usage of your summer clothes, but also can be a fun way to play with textures. All tights are not made equal—step outside the box and try knit versions, opaque designs and gray textured tights. Add a cute pair of boots and you’re pumpkin patch ready!

TIP #2 – STATEMENT JACKETS

80 degree weather doesn’t quite allow for jackets so take full advantage of cooler temperatures. Motorcycle style leather jackets should be a must-have in everyone’s closet—paired with summer dresses or sneakers, they’ll easily add edge to any look. Another great option is a blazer— especially for a night out on the town. Paired with your favorite heels and a slip dress, you’ll be all set! 60

TIP #3 – INVEST IN JUMPSUITS

Jumpsuits are easily the most adaptable piece of clothing. They can be paired with heels, sneakers, flats, sandals or boots. Most importantly, they can be worn all year round. Another great bonus is that most of them work for day or night. Find good pieces and invest, you won’t regret it!

TIP #4 – GO LONG

Dresses and skirts with longer lengths are much easier to wear from season to season. You can pair them with booties or over-the-knee boots with a chunky sweater for a warm and cozy look! As tempting as it is to buy all new clothes for the fall, there are other ways to welcome the season. Add deeper colors and richer textures, layer up and add some boots in the mix. Challenge yourself this year to hold on to your summer clothes a little longer and put together new looks using what you have!

Jasmine LaFlora-Walker 61

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