Date Yourself Instead

7. Gather up your friends and have a game night. Who says you need a partner to have fun? Have each person bring a game and a snack and take turns picking which game to play.

8. Rent a kayak or a canoe and spend the day on a beautiful body of water. Enjoy the solitude and peace of being alone.

9. Get your nails done and bring a good book with you. Unplug from your phone and unwind for a bit.

10. Make a new recipe. Meal prep for the week so your days at work are easier during lunchtime. I don’t know about you but I get really excited when I have something fun to eat. Subscribe to a monthly meal kit and schedule one night a week where you try something new.

11. Get your hair done. I love grabbing coffee and heading to an early morning hair appointment all by myself. I giggle with the hair stylist, and we spend hours sharing dating stories while I wait for my hair to process.

12. Sign up for a 5k or 10k. Have you been wanting to get in better shape? Now’s your time. If you’re new to running, I would start with a 5k and build your endurance and confidence from there. Don’t overthink it and don’t talk yourself out of signing up. Just do it and show up. You’ll be so glad you did.

13. Schedule a massage or facial. If money is tight, look on Groupon and keep an eye out for deals. Sometimes I’ll schedule a month in advance and write my appointment in my calendar. I forget all about it and then when I get a reminder, I’m so excited with myself for having the foresight to schedule early.

14. Sign up for a pottery class and try your hand at the wheel.

15. Go to the Farmer’s Market and buy local produce for the week. Take your time and enjoy walking around each booth while soaking up the sunshine.

16. Make a list of projects in your house that you’ve been wanting to get done but keep thinking you need to wait on because you don’t feel like you can do them by yourself. Slowly work through the list and tackle the ones you can do with a little bit of research. Think about hiring out for the more complex projects. Even though this isn’t a date, I consider this one to be important for one’s self-esteem. I can’t tell you how many house projects I’ve had to put on the back burner because I didn’t have a spouse to help me. This year I vowed to figure out ways to get those projects done with or without someone.

17. Get a new journal and start writing down your thoughts about everything that’s on your mind. I call this a “brain dump” in therapy when I’m working with my clients.

18. Take a nice bath with some yummy bath bombs or take a hot shower and use your favorite shower gel. There’s nothing quite like feeling squeaky clean.

19. Buy a new outfit that makes you feel incredible.

20. Wash and vacuum your car. Having a clean space and a tidy car will make you feel in charge and ready for the day.

21.

Get a good workout in and reap the benefits of how amazing you will feel afterwards. When my kids are at their dad’s house and I’m feeling a little low about myself, I will get in my car and drive straight to the gym. I don’t even give myself the opportunity to think about why I’m upset and all the reasons not to go to the gym. I just tell myself how amazing I always feel afterwards, and I let that feeling fuel my desire to get out of the house and go. Sometimes if I work extra hard in the gym, I’ll drive to the Neighborhood Walmart across the street and buy myself a bouquet of flowers. Those have been some of my most favorite dates with myself. well so they can help during the stressful time.

22. Get outside and go for a hike. I’m not a huge outdoor person but this summer I have challenged myself to make a list and to try one new place a week. I’m really hoping these hikes will help me clear my head, get some energy, and learn how to push myself to do an activity that I don’t know a lot about.

Dating yourself instead of waiting for the “right” person is a healthier way to go about the single life. I know it can be hard to feel like you’re the only one who doesn’t have anyone. Work on you. Focus on you, and channel your energy towards things that make you better. Healing happens one day at a time.

Meagan Ruffing is a parenting journalist, mental health therapist, and single mom who tries to do her best each day. She doesn’t always get things right but continually strives to do better.

Another nice idea is to pack some pre-stamped envelopes and pen/paper so the kids can write letters to family and friends while they are away. This way they can share their experience with everyone and help them still feel connected to home without the use of electronics on the trip. For camping purposes, unless the electronics are used as a communication device or helping regulate medications, it is helpful to leave electronics at home so your child can be fully engaging in the experience of being outside.

When packing outfits, it is always important to have layers like sweatshirts, raincoats, and ZipOns for easy changing in case of fluctuation in the weather. The days can start off chilly and end up beautiful, and you may be traveling between climates and need to dress appropriately for the weather. ZipOns are great for layering over shorts and swimsuits to make changing quicker and easier throughout the day, even on an airplane if necessary. In addition, we find it helpful to use large Ziplock bags to pack undergarments, socks, etc., so it is organized and easy to access in her bags, especially when camping.

One thing to always remember is that it’s okay to ask for help, and selfcare should also be a priority to avoid burnout. A vacation is meant for people to take a break and soak in new memories, so it is really important to take things one day at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed and actually enjoy the time away from the bustle of a regular home routine.

Nikki Puzzo has a license in Social Work and worked at Genzyme for 10 years before starting a family. Nikki is married with two girls, Chloe (15) and Stella (13) and a dog Benji. Nikki is also co-owner of an adaptive clothing line called befree, LLC, inspired by Stella after undergoing double hip surgery at the age of 5. befree is dedicated to improving lives by addressing the real, everyday challenges of people living with limited mobility. befree is committed to making adaptive and inclusive fashion that really works. Though clothing is a basic human need, for millions of people with temporary or permanent disabilities, getting dressed can be an ongoing daily hardship. For more information, visit https://befreeco.com.

Some foods just say summer more than others. For our family, it’s corn on the cob, fresh fruits in season, and s’mores. S’mores, short for “Some Mores,” have been a campfire favorite since the 1920’s, when the recipe was published for the Girl Scouts. I first had them at summer camp as a child, and was immediately hooked. They served them two ways — graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows; or thinly sliced apple and marshmallows. I haven’t seen most people serve them with apples, but trust me, they are great that way. They’re lighter, crisp, and refreshing.

As a summer tradition, I wanted to share this treat with my son. We built a backyard bonfire, skewered the marshmallows on long sticks, and showed him how to roast them. They were a hit. Okay, typical boy — he roasted the marshmallows to a charred crisp, then dropped them into the fire, then torched another — until we showed him how to eat the roasted marshmallows. He quickly abandoned pyromania in favor of enjoying this new treat.

A few tips:

• Graham crackers may be traditional, but there are many other ways to make s’mores. Use cookies (molasses, chocolate chip, and oatmeal are all great), or a crisp fruit like thinly sliced apples or pears.

• Gluten and wheat free graham crackers can be found at specialty stores or online.

• If adding chocolate, thin chocolate works best. It melts faster with the heat of the marshmallow. There are many good brands of dairy free and soy free chocolate bars.

• Replace chocolate with other fillings, like fruit (raspberries, blueberries, sliced apple, pear, or mango.) Fruit spreads and jams are also tasty.

• Check ingredients in everything for food allergies. Some marshmallows have been known to contain unexpected ingredients like eggs. Vegans don’t eat gelatin (made from bone broth), so use vegan marshmallows.

TRADITIONAL S’MORES

Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, FISH, SHELLFISH, WHEAT, GLUTEN, VEGAN

Yield: 4 servings

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 1-2 minutes

4 gluten free vegan graham crackers, broken in half (or apple slices)

4 large vegan marshmallows

2 small thin dairy/soy free chocolate bars, broken in half

Place chocolate on one half of the graham cracker. Roast marshmallows to desired color and consistency (some like it light golden, others charred to a crisp!) Place on top of the chocolate, top with the other graham half. Allow about 1 minute for the heat of the marshmallow to soften the chocolate.

Microwave instructions: Place marshmallow on cracker half. Microwave on high for about 10 seconds, until marshmallow starts to puff up. Watch closely, it doesn’t take long to melt. Remove from microwave, top with chocolate and second graham cracker half.

S’MORES BARS

Free of: DAIRY, EGGS, SOY, PEANUTS, TREE NUTS, FISH, SHELLFISH, WHEAT, GLUTEN, VEGAN

Yield: 24 servings

Prep Time: 5 minutes

Cook Time: 10 minutes

1 cup dairy/soy free margarine, melted

3 cups gluten free vegan graham cracker crumbs

1/4 cup sugar

2 cups dairy/soy free chocolate chips

3 cups vegan miniature marshmallows

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9x13 inch baking dish. In a medium bowl, combine margarine, graham cracker crumbs and sugar. Press half of crumb mixture into the bottom of the prepared pan. Top with the chocolate chips, then the marshmallows. Sprinkle the remaining graham cracker mixture over the marshmallows and press down. Bake in preheated oven 10 minutes, until marshmallows are melted. Cool completely, cut into squares.

If you have any questions about our column, e-mail Kathy at allergy@ roadrunner.com. For further information about food allergies, contact FARE www.foodallergy.org, or call 1-800-9294040.

Kathy Lundquist is a Western New York parent whose son, now an adult, was born with severe food allergies. Over the last two decades, she has worked tirelessly, in a variety of capacities, to increase community awareness about food allergies.