Need Help? No Need to Go it Alone

It hasn’t been easy. Like many people, I’ve been reluctant to ask for help, not wanting to be a burden or inconvenience my family and friends.

But things have changed. Thankfully, for the better.

As I write this column, spring cleaning is tugging at my proverbial apron strings.

I need, I must, make sense of the boxes and bags of family photos, documents and items I inherited after losing my mother and father. I’ve procrastinated far too long. It’s time.

So ... I called my dear friend Carol and asked if she would help me begin the emotion-laden process of deciding what to keep, donate or throw away.

A self-described decluttering guru, Carol happily agreed to get me started. Among many helpful tips, she encouraged me to ask myself, “Does it have value? Does it bring me joy?”

I’m delighted to report that we made great progress. Her help was invaluable!

And we had a good time together, often laughing at the silly things I’ve held onto all these years. My grade school report cards come to mind. No need to be reminded that I “whispered too much.”

Below is an essay titled “Asking for Help” that I included in my book, “Alone and Content: Inspiring, empowering essays to help divorced and widowed women feel whole and complete on their own.”

I hope it inspires you to reach out and ask for assistance if you need it.

Asking For Help

A ride to the doctor’s office. Extra hands to move heavy furniture. An emergency dog-sitting request. Giving and receiving help from my friends and family has proved to be a wonderful way for me to strengthen bonds. I have learned time and again that asking for help brings blessings, not burdens.

Many people — and often those of us who need it most — find it hard to reach out and ask for help in times of need.

The reasons are numerous, but my experience tells me that lots of women and men who live alone avoid asking for help because they fear being seen as weak or vulnerable.

I know that after my divorce I was reluctant to ask for help. I