✷ Talking to a loved one about a move to assisted living

It can be hard to talk to your loved ones about moving into assisted living, so don’t push them too hard and make sure they feel safe and comfortable with the idea, one expert advises.

“Start the conversation as early as possible, and focus on what matters,” said Angela Catic. She’s a geriatrician and associate professor in the Roy M. and Phyllis Gough Huffington Center on Aging at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston.

“Think about if an assisted living environment could not just support, but enrich things that really bring joy to that individual’s life,” Catic said in a college news release.

As people age, it gets harder to take care of a house and yard. Adult children often start talking about assisted living when they see their parents are struggling, Catic said. After the death of a partner, a person may feel alone and lose their social connections. This is where transitioning into assisted living could benefit an older person, as such facilities often provide various social activities for their residents.

When starting a conversation with a loved one, consider covering these topics: • Mention a few facilities you have already researched prior to the conversation. Whether you visit them in person or do online research, keeping a few facilities in mind can ease any nervous feelings about the process. • Present a few options close to your loved one’s home or facilities near the home of a family member. This could remind them that they won’t be completely alone and will still have access to their family. • Stay mindful of their feelings, as they could feel anxious or sad about having such a conversation. These emotions may prompt them to resist the move altogether. • Mention any of their friends that you have heard from or ask them if they know anyone who has already moved into an assisted living facility, to normalize the idea. • Make sure they feel involved in the process so they feel like they have control over what happens. • Encourage them to come with you to tour a few facilities so they can visualize what their stay would be like there.

“Find a place they feel good about, too, and bring some of their belongings,” Catic said. “It’s typically a major downsizing of space, but it is important to bring things that have meaning to them and make it feel like home as much as possible. This may include items like a favorite chair, items they need to engage in a favorite hobby or family photographs.”

If your loved one says no to the idea of moving to an assisted living facility, don’t keep pushing the idea unless you’re truly worried about their safety. Hospitalization due to an accident or other health issues can also be a good reason to bring up the idea of assisted living again.

If they decline initially, you can always return to the conversation later, as their initial hesitation could be due to other factors that change, Catic said. When bringing the topic up again, ask them if they had time to reconsider the idea. Welcome their thoughts on the subject and offer ways you can make the process more comfortable for them.

Catic advises prioritizing finding your loved one a place that fits their needs and learning as much about it as you can so you know exactly what you are signing them up for. Even if a place looks nice in the lobby or on the tour, finding out more about what they have to offer can be an important part of finding the best fit for your loved one.

Additionally, learn about the staff and how often people move in and out. On another note, some facilities might have connections to different social groups such as veterans or other interesting people with whom your loved one could socialize.

“Go beyond the beautiful, fresh flower bouquet in the lobby because this is going to be someone’s home, not a hotel they’re staying in for a couple of nights,” Catic said. “You’re looking for a feeling of home and fitting in with other residents and a staff that feel like family.”

Tips for Selecting a Medicare Plan

By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant

Many people feel confused when choosing a Medicare plan. The numerous options and industry jargon can make plan selection challenging.

Fortunately, area Medicare experts can help guide those new to Medicare or those changing plans during the current open enrollment period, which ends Dec. 7.

“The number one thing is that the local support,” said Cathy Aquino, vice president of Medicare Consumer and Small Group Markets at Independent Health in Buffalo. “Our advisers are there from the beginning of their journey, for those who are new, so we can sit down and look at their medical needs for next year.”

She advises clients to bring their list of their prescriptions and medical providers. They should also consider discussing their present and future health needs. Beyond the basic Medicare, the additional plans vary depending upon company and type of plan. In addition to medical needs and prescriptions the plans cover, Medicaid subscribers should consider their comfort level with health conditions. Some want to see their doctor for every twinge; others are more wait-and-see types who seldom want to use their medical coverage.

“People shouldn’t wait until the last minute,” Aquino said. “People can come in early. We want to make sure they’re all set.”

Aquino also looks at whether a policyholder’s doctors will be covered with the plans they consider. Most people want the comfort of continuity of care. It is also vital for those who travel to ensure that they will receive coverage for non-emergency healthcare needs away from home.

Typically, HMOs will not cover routine issues addressed out of network. PPOs may offer some coverage, making these kinds of plans more suitable for people who travel.

Nancy Nimmo, individual and senior health benefits consultant at Lawley Insurance in Buffalo, looks at travel benefits to ensure that clients can meet non emergency healthcare needs when away from home.

“When you’re going out of the area, you want to make sure you’re covered,” Nimmo said.

She also wants clients to stay in touch in case anything has changed with their prescriptions or providers so they can look at the available plans during open enrollment or, if possible, accommodate the changes. She believes that Medicare health planning is so customized that people should avoid companies advertised on TV and through mailers.

“The plans on ads may not even offered in the service area,” Nimmo said. “Once you call in, they may steer you towards a different plan. Use a trusted adviser to make sure you are enrolling into the right plan.

“I recommend choosing a Medicare plan based on your needs, budget, and your health and making sure your providers participate.”

Insurance plans continually change and upgrade their products and many grandfather in clients with outdated plans. Merely discussing what is new does not place policyholders under obligation to change their plans.

“They often don’t look at what is available,” said Sally Stier president of Clarity Group in Depew, Blasdell, Amherst and Batavia. “Maybe they’re perfectly happy with the plan they have. But there could be something new they’re not aware of. It’s recommended to take a look at what’s new in their current plan and what else is available. Some people are eligible for financial assistance which can affect what plan will be best for them.”

She added that some veterans use the VA for much of their medical care but sign up for Medicare for certain elements: a strategy that may offer well-rounded coverage.

“We try to look at the person’s individual situation,” Stier said. “Even with a husband and wife, they don’t have to have the same plan. They have different health needs. Many people don’t realize that.”

Nancy Nimmo Cathy Aquino