Seasons of Life

Pre-Planning Final Arrangements

Peace of Mind for Everyone

By Linda Barnes

Making final resting plans now rather than later eases the burden for everyone. Pre-planning your own celebration of life is a gift to your family, who would otherwise have to make many difficult decisions under the stress of grief. It made the loss of my younger brother a bit easier, knowing exactly what he wanted. I did not know he wanted cremation, until we discussed it and put it in writing.

Funeral homes have the expertise to assist with planning and answers to all the questions you are likely to raise. A funeral director will work with you, along with experienced, trained staff.

In addition to making arrangements with a funeral home, a will and other appropriate legal documents will likely require the advice of an attorney. Final arrangement plans and legal documents are highly recommended. It may be better not to keep them together in one place—a will might not be found or read until after memorial services have taken place. It is especially important to let family members or trusted others know where to find the plan for your funeral arrangements.

Wouldn’t you rather have a service or celebration that includes your own personal choices? You can choose all the details: casket, music, flowers, cemetery plot, who will conduct the service and where, pall bearers, obituary, and so on. Many people opt for a theme that reflects a hobby, favorite sports team, or other highlight of one’s life.

More mundane details include obtaining proper permits and the death certificate, arranging transportation, working with the cemetery, ordering a monument, and making plans for visitation. Those who pre-arrange have the peace of mind that they have saved their loved ones the undue stress of trying to guess their wishes.

It’s important to understand that pre-planning is not the same as pre-paying. Pre-planning has virtually no downside—you get to choose the elements of your memorial, and your family won’t have to make those decisions. Pre-paying, on the other hand, has pros and cons that need to be considered. Pre-paying might reduce costs or be a way to pay down assets, should you need Medicaid assistance. On the other hand, creating a trust or special insurance policy that pays your beneficiaries instead of a specific funeral home may be a better way to go, especially if you’re likely to move out of state.

Some pre-paid plans are transferrable; many are not. Be sure to understand all provisions before signing a contract. A reputable funeral director will be happy to go over all the costs and benefits with you.

Beyond funeral arrangements, an attorney can help resolve questions of how your personal assets are handled when you are gone. A will is probably the most important document to create (make one for each spouse). It’s also smart to establish powers of attorney for health matters and financial matters should you become incapacitated and to declare guardianship for minor children.

Estate planning might sound like something for the very wealthy, but everyone should make decisions regarding how their assets (real estate, monetary assets, personal belongings) are distributed after their death. Without a written document, a judge will decide these issues.

A personal representative or executor needs to be appointed. Often, this is a trusted relative or friend who is up to the task of settling one’s estate. This includes paying outstanding bills, maintaining property until transferred or sold, and performing legal obligations. In the absence of executor or personal representative, the court will appoint one—and it may not be someone you would have chosen.

It’s essential to periodically review retirement and insurance beneficiaries. Name contingent beneficiaries in case of the death of a primary beneficiary. Wills should be updated about every five years or when there is a significant change.

An advance directive (living will) can be complex, outlining treatments one would like (or not like) to have in case of being incapacitated. It may encompass a do-not-resuscitate provision and wishes regarding life support and other extraordinary measures. State laws vary regarding advance directives.

Complex estates may necessitate a trust. Visit an attorney to learn about this legal entity that owns property or assets that you place in it. You name a trustee to manage the assets. You may be the trustee yourself and name a successor who assumes management duties upon your death. An advantage is that it does not go through probate court, so the transfer of property may happen much faster.

With a will, designated powers of attorney, advance directive, and pre-planned funeral arrangement, you can sleep well, knowing your wishes will be carried out. Family members will appreciate the thoughtfulness you’ve shown by easing their load at a difficult time.

Sources for this article includes: nfda.org, aarp.org, consumer.ftc.gov