Kids Comments

It’s Not Easy Being Dad

A Joyful Responsibility

By Marge Shoemaker

Traditionally, Dads were the breadwinners in the family, earning enough to pay for the needs of his family and their activities, while Moms took take care of the house and the kids. Traditionally, Dads were at work all day. Moms were at home, doing what Moms do…and if they weren’t at home, they were attending some function or meeting that had to do with the kids. I’ve known dads who expected dinner on the table promptly when they got home from work. Fortunately, the dads in my family weren’t like that.

My dad worked long hours. Although he was often gone for days at a time, he was usually home on weekends. He often took me with him when he’d go into the office on a Saturday morning. I’d sit at an empty desk, drawing or reading while he worked. I got to meet some of his coworkers that way and developed an idea of what his work entailed.

How roles have changed! In many families, both parents work outside the home. In the case of single parents, Mom or Dad shoulders all the responsibility—cooking, cleaning, reading bedtimes stories, sewing on uniform patches, getting the kids to their activities, and everything else.

The Female Presence is predominant for most kids; while growing up, the adults that kids interact with most are often female. In recent generations, dads are stepping up to be a stronger Male Presence in their kids’ lives. When our grandsons would visit, we made sure they spent as much time with Grandpa and the uncles as they did with Grandma and the aunts. They saw us helping each other, doing whatever work was necessary.

The men in our family know how to cook. Nuking a hot dog in the microwave is as important as being able to make an apple pie! They take care of themselves. The men in our family know how to run a vacuum and do laundry. Tasks aren’t specified by gender…if there’s a job to do, the person available does it. They’ve learned it’s okay for men and boys to be gentle, good men who respect women, and how to be “tough” without being a bully or losing respect. We call our home a “peaceful place” where everyone is safe. We respect each other, even though we may disagree. We set the example that anger is an honest feeling, but it’s necessary to find a safe way to deal with it.

Basically, the men tried to show the boys that they are people, too. We all have emotions. It’s okay to be sad, angry, joyful, envious, disappointed…or any other emotion they might feel. There are times to laugh, cry, love, or be joyful. It’s called being human. Being a dad is a joyful responsibility. Happy Father’s Day!