Kids Comments

We’re All Under the Influence

How Does That Happen?

By Marge Shoemaker

Have you ever overheard your kids say something and wondered where they heard it? Have they expressed an opinion that varies from your beliefs? We know that kids tend to be like human magpies and repeat what they hear from others. We know they get different ideas from shows, games, and movies they are acquainted with. We’ve laughed when a toddler responds with a “naughty” word or outlandish saying because it is so unexpected. We are sometimes puzzled about where they learned some of these words, sayings, and statements because we’re pretty sure they “didn’t learn it from us.” We think they are not listening or paying attention. They are.

We’re all influenced by the world around us. Our first teachers are our parents. We learned to talk by them talking to us, learned to read by being read to, learned to walk by their encouragement to move around. Most kids expand their interests when exposed to different ideas and activities. What they don’t learn at home, they will learn elsewhere.

Think about the influences in your life. The people around you have a great deal to do with your thinking. Your family, coworkers, peers, friends, and teachers have all influenced the way we think and live our lives…and some of them still do! Those same factors influence our kids’ lives. Kids need the experience of male and female influencers in their lives.

What the kids want to know and don’t learn at home, they will pick up from other places and people. That’s one reason it’s important to know who your kids hang out with. Make your home a friendly place for the kids to bring their friends. Mom always welcomed our friends and, while she didn’t sit down and join us, she knew what was going on. Our friends all liked and respected Mom because she respected them. She was around without inserting herself into our activities. Being a present parent differs from being an older friend. Mom taught by example that it’s important to listen and discuss but not lecture.

Various media have a big influence on how people talk, think, and dress. There is wider access to knowledge than we ever dreamed of when we were kids. My oldest grandson has strong opinions based on things he’s heard, read, or seen online. We’ve talked about the basis of his opinions. He knows there are other sides to every issue, but he isn’t always open to hearing them. Movies and print media also exert influence, especially on style. Remember the impact of the movie “Flashdance” on leg warmers and off-the-shoulder sweatshirts?

Think about how you’ve formed your ideas and opinions. Who do you admire? Where do you get information? How did you decide what you believe? All people are under the influence of their surroundings, of the people and events they encounter every day…and kids are people, too.