Whose Fault Is It, Anyway? Around

and Around We Go!

Have you ever heard the phrase “blame feels better than guilt”? Think about it…when something bad happens in our lives, a common knee-jerk reaction is to point the finger at someone else. It’s not my fault! We are able to come up with multiple reasons…excuses…to get ourselves off the hook. This has a result we may not have considered: we’re giving away our power.

“When you blame others, you give up your power to change.”

—Robert Anthony

I have a very strong belief that we each create our own reality…the good, the bad, and the ugly. Now, this belief feels really good when life is going well. We pat ourselves on the back for the positives we have created. But life is not always positive. Life is not always happy. What do we do when life is so far away from perfect?

“Reach for a better-feeling thought.” —Abraham/Hicks

Too simple? Not really. Can a situation or a person influence you? Of course, but no one, and nothing, can make you unhappy. When something negative happens, we can choose to go over it again and again in our minds. We can choose to discuss the situation with anyone who will listen. Or we can choose to reach for a better-feeling thought.

By Janet Van deWalle

I have learned that it really is that simple! Reach for a better-feeling thought. A word of advice…put the bad situation or relationship on pause. Do not try to get to a better-feeling place with the problem. Instead, do whatever it takes to get your mind off of it. Go for a walk. Pet your cat. Watch a comedy. Listen to positive videos. Meditate. When all else fails, go to sleep. When you sleep, you are able to let go of the challenge and awaken in a better state of mind.

“The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night’s sleep.” —E. Joseph

Cossman

Getting your mind off of “it” will release stress and tension. When we make the decision to gravitate toward someplace better than where we are right now, we regain our power. We cannot control anyone else. We all know that. What we can do is control our own self-talk. We can control where we put our attention. For decades, I was on a hamster wheel, going around and around over the hurt, the injustice, the unfairness. It doesn’t do anyone any good…it simply keeps us stuck. No more!

“The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.” —Albert Ellis