The Struggle in Seeking Wellness

BY DEMARRA D. WEST

Caring for myself is not self-indulgence. It is selfpreservation, and that is an act of political warfare.

-Audre Lorde

Many people don’t know that the U.S. wellness movement started as early as the 1950s, with prominent thought-leaders, such as historian Michel Foucault, author of “The History of Sexuality,” helping shape how we think about wellness today. The term is actually indigenous, with original roots to Ayurvedic medicine which was started more than 3,000 years ago. The holistic medicinal model is based on the belief that health and wellness depend on a delicate balance between the mind, body, and spirit.

In November 1979, Dan Rather said wellness was “a phrase you don’t hear everyday” during a “60 Minutes” segment— and it changed everything. Now, more than forty years later, wellness is the way we encapsulate all things related to our wellbeing. From company wellness programs, to wellness classes, to wellness supplements, to wellness treks, there is no limit on the supply and demand of the wellness industry. In fact, the Global Wellness Institute estimated the value of the wellness industry to be $4.5 trillion dollars in 2018.

And although wellness possibilities are endless with this dollar amount in mind, women have always struggled with prioritizing their well-being; which is why the famous quote from Audre Lorde’s book, “A Burst of Light,” felt like a perfect way to begin this piece. When Lorde says self-care is an act of political warfare, what she is really saying is that the lived experience associated with being a woman, Black, LGBTQ+, etc. makes selfcare an absolute must for our survival and liberation. Lorde’s ideas about self-care were picked up by many in queer, feminist and activist circles. Caring for yourself became a way of preserving yourself in a world that was hostile to your identity, your community and your way of life.

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Being a woman alone makes it difficult to care for ourselves, in part, because women are wired to have more of the social and emotional skill sets related to caring for others. As a licensed therapist and professional certified coach, I often find that when I breach the topic of self-care with women, they struggle with the basic tenets of wellness which then becomes a main focal point of our work together—from celebrating successes, having daily self-care practices, asking for help, saying no, and so much more.

Add intersectionality to the mix and well, it further complicates things. Being a woman of color, for example, can make self-care feel that much more out of reach, in part, because there may be more responsibilities associated with the lived experience of that identity. Data shows that women of color are more likely than their white counterparts to be primary financial earners, supporting other family members both physically and financially, and have more overall responsibilities. In fact, more than 70% of Black mothers and more than 40% of Latina mothers are the family’s sole breadwinners — compared to less than a quarter of white mothers. And at the same time, women of color have more caregiving responsibilities, with Black and Latinx caregivers spending 50% more hours a week on caregiving than white caregivers according to research by American Progress.

And no matter what identities you hold as a woman, caring for yourself is absolutely essential. From indulging in a sweet treat, to moving your body, to reflecting on what you’re grateful for, to taking a luxurious bath. The possibilities are endless. So, go on and make the decision to care for yourself today. You deserve it. Your birthright alone says you are worthy of it. Let’s be like Audre Lorde and commit acts of political warfare to become more aligned with who we were always meant to be.

Demarra D. West

MA, LPC, PCC, RYS

Demarra is a certified yoga teacher, Reiki master, licensed therapist, and entrepreneur who has a deep passion for all things women and wellness. She is the founder of Be Well Beautiful Woman, a global platform created for women to heal, have abundant joy, and immense business success.