EATING MINDFULLY

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH FOOD

BY ASHLEY CARTER YOUNGBLOOD, LMSW, LMFT, CMHIMP

In my work as a holistic psychotherapist*, I am seeing an ever-growing number of people describing that they do not have a healthy relationship with food, feel “addicted” to food (especially sweets), or have disordered eating.

WHY IS FOOD SO POWERFUL?

Given that food affects our bodies, food affects our brains. The challenge is that, with the high rates of processed foods, considerations like hidden GMOs (Genetically Modified Organisms), the prevalence of soy, gluten, and dairy in not only our food but also things like cosmetics and vitamins, and the frequency of sugar in just about everything (Don’t believe me? Take a look at not only the nutrition facts on your food but, more importantly, the ingredient list), food now has a life of its own.

Let’s just explore one of the things in this list: sugar. Research clearly shows that sugar is more addictive than cocaine. Brain scans show that the brains of those addicted to sugar and highly-processed carbohydrates commonly found in our Western Diet (appropriately called the S.A.D. – Standard American Diet) show the same patterns as those addicted to drugs. Julia Ross details this in her book, The Craving Cure, and also describes that we have evidence that the dairy and highly-processed carbohydrate products (often containing gluten) actually function like opioids (e.g. Oxycontin, heroin) in the brain, triggering addiction to these ingredients.

One study Julia Ross describes that I think is particularly illustrative is that, when prescriptions like Naloxone or Naltrexone, traditionally prescribed for people addicted to opioids to help them remain sober, are given to those with a sweet-tooth, they no longer receive pleasure from eating that food. The endorphins released while eating the guilty pleasure are eliminated! This means that food is not just food or a matter of will power. There is a reason why we simply cannot imagine living without cookies. (Consider exploring Gary Taubes’ “The Case Against Sugar” for more details about the connection between food, sugar, and addiction).

And, that’s just the chemistry of food! From a behavioral perspective, no longer do we simply hunt or harvest whole foods we have raised ourselves, cooking it mere seconds after it was harvested feet away. Or favored foods have become what is convenient and what tastes good (i.e. sweet). This reflects my belief that food has become so powerful partially because we have become disconnected from it.

Because food can carry so much emotional weight, here are some tips to help you begin to improve your relationship with food:

• ASK YOURSELF: “AM I ACTUALLY TASTING MY FOOD?” Notice things like the texture, color, and smell, in addition to things like the side of your mouth on which you naturally chew. Google “Mindfully Eating a Raisin” for a fun, short guided meditation to encourage such mindfulness.

• PUT YOUR FORK DOWN between bites in order to encourage tasting your food.

• EAT WITHOUT DISTRACTIONS. We were not meant to eat in front of the T.V., in our cars, playing on our phones, or at our desks. Our digestive system can only digest and absorb nutrients well when we are relaxed. So, use eating as an opportunity to take a break, breathe, and get some respite from your daily schedule. (Yes, this means that you may need to eliminate intense business lunches).

• CONSIDER MAKING EATING COMMUNAL. Some food behaviorists argue that we eat more when we are with others because we are less mindful about signals of fullness. However, making eating communal, such as in the breakroom or nightly with family, helps us recognize that food is not only about the nutrients, but is about connection. Not eating in isolation, for those with disordered eating, may also help eliminate “shame eating” or binging. Find what works best for you.

• EAT ONLY WHEN YOU ARE HUNGRY. If I had a nickel for every time someone told me they are a “stress eater” or “I eat when I’m bored,” I would have already solved the problem of world hunger! Remember to check in with your body before you reach for food and ask “Am I really hungry?”

• EAT UNTIL YOU’RE ABOUT 80% FULL. As acclaimed food-writer Michael Pollan in his adorable little book “Food Rules” discusses, ancient traditions that include the Japanese, Chinese, and Indian Aurvedic medicine have recommendations of only eating until you are between 70% and 80% full. Pollan also adds that, when the French are done eating, they state “I have no more hunger.”

Ask yourself, “have I satisfied my hunger?” Even practice leaving food on your plate to help give yourself permission to stop eating when satisfied. It takes 20 minutes for your brain to register fullness from your stomach. So…

• EAT SLOWLY. LET YOUR FOOD DIGEST. Give yourself permission to enjoy your food; to really taste it. Watch your breathing. Notice how your body and emotions feel before, during, and after you eat. • CHEW EACH BITE AT LEAST 30 TIMES. Consider how this recommendation not only allows you to truly taste your food, but it also helps your body to better absorb nutrients and register the “I’m full” signal.

• DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP. Given that food is more than just food, we can expect slip-ups. Maybe you over-ate, ate a food you know is not healthy, or ate something you know makes you feel badly. Don’t let mistakes cause you to be a further slave to food or shame. Use mistakes as learning opportunities.

• WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, DO SOMETHING ELSE! I think of the old adage “If you’re not hungry enough to eat an apple, you are not actually hungry.” This saying is a great illustration that sometimes, when our cravings show up, doing something else like yoga, taking a walk, reading a book, or dancing can help us be more mindful about what such cravings are about if they actually aren’t hunger.

• WHEN A CRAVING WON’T STOP, ASK YOURSELF “WHAT VOID AM I TRYING TO FILL RIGHT NOW?” If we get in touch with our emotions, we better understand the food-mood connection and can learn what our triggers are, in addition to knowing what we can do to improve our relationship with food.

• SURROUND YOURSELF WITH FOOD OPTIONS THAT SUPPORT YOUR MINDFULNESS. If you open a family sized bag of potato chips, you will be more likely to finish the bag. Also, consider how, if there is no ice cream in your home, you won’t eat any. Instead, stock your pantry with healthy items that encourage mindfulness and avoid perpetuating the addictive lure of sweetness.

Lastly but perhaps most importantly…

• REMIND YOURSELF THAT YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Your gender, age, ethnicity, or any other feature doesn’t define you. Neither does food or your body size. While you work to have a healthy relationship with food, work to have a healthy relationship with yourself. Practice loving yourself and even saying phrases of support out loud. Self-compassion is the ultimate mindfulness practice! Eating mindfully isn’t about size or losing weight. It is about awareness. So, don’t only eat with awareness, love yourself with awareness.

[*Medical disclaimer: Please keep in mind that the above information is offered for entertainment and educational purposes only, should not be considered medical advice/treatment, and is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any condition. Given the unique biochemistry ofeach individual, it is essential to consult your physician before making any changes to your lifestyle, including nutritional, fitness, or supplementation. Such statements have not been evaluated by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. If you feel that you need medical support for eating behaviors, be sure to seek care from a trained professional.]

Ashley Carter Youngblood is s a psychotherapist and Certified Mental Health Integrated Medicine Provider. Her specialties include women’s issues, anxiety, holistic healing, and mindfulness and she has training and a special interest in nutrition and mental health. Find out more about her at her website, Kalamazoo-counseling.com.

Navigating Jobless Waters

THE STORM OF LAYOFFS HAS HIT. HOW DO WE SURVIVE?

As of the end of May, the United States reached over 1.7 million confirmed

COVID-19 cases, 30% of the confirmed cases world wide. Unfortunately, as a result, in our efforts to somewhat slow the response, businesses have gone bankrupt or shuttered permanently, while positions were altered or disappeared entirely. And this left not only myself, but an additional 1.5 million

Michiganders jobless or on unemployment in some form (due to cut hours or lack of incomes, etc.). That’s not to mention a total of over 40 million Americans in the same situation.

While some of these unemployment situations are still temporary, providing small glimpses of hope, others are very permanent. With the State of Michigan at an over 22% unemployment rate, the odds are not exactly in our favor. And statistics and numbers for finding employment, especially employment that pays as much as we were making prior to the pandemic are not promising either. In all seriousness, now what? We cannot lose hope. But, in the meantime, it is crucial to be as proactive about your future as you can. Here are a few things to get you going.

ASSESS YOUR SITUATION

The Unemployment Insurance Agency (UIA) states on their site the $600 benefit (as of May) ends July 25th, meaning if you haven’t already used up your 26 weeks allotted for unemployment benefits your “contribution” will continue, but drop. Now is the time to look at the real numbers. How much are you spending on everything? What is the minimum you have to pay for necessities like car insurance, rent, mortgage, food and more? How long will you have unemployment income? Do this now. If you need assistance seeing where everything goes and are good at spreadsheets, make one. Mint also has a great platform and app to put your information in to help with budgeting and revealing what you really spend, sending notifications when you start straying from your budgeted path.

SET A GOAL

An example: I have to have something by the middle of this month or just get a job to get things going while I find something in my field. With the extra $600 incentive ending this month, it is time to follow-up on leads for jobs, as well as really lean into finding and applying to more jobs. Go back to budgeting, take those numbers to set a realistic timeline for you to work with. By week 10 where should you be? What about 22 if you get that far? It holds you accountable, but also helps break down the daunting task of looking for employment, while perhaps giving you a little breathing room to mourn your job loss and get your head together.

RESUME, LINKEDIN, NETWORK AND UPDATES

It’s time to brush off the old resume, and if you haven’t touched it recently, it’s worth looking into what those should consist of. Formats are more simple compared to 10, 20 years ago now that employers can look at profiles on LinkedIn or online portfolios for more information. And there are plenty of sites and tools to help you create a new resume with ease.

SOME GOOD TIPS 1. If you are using LinkedIn, look up the recruiter, hiring manager or HR names for the position and address your cover letters accordingly, as it demonstrates your attention to detail and genuine interest. 2. If you know people in your field, or fields you’re interested in, reach out. It could lead you to a friend of a friend’s friend for the job you’re looking for. 3. And if you know someone, chances are more likely they’ll take a look at your resume and what you have to offer. 4. Have other friends look at your resume as well. 5. If you need a portfolio, wix.com and Wordpress offer simple templates to create a space for your work. Use their templates or find instructional videos to better navigate the space and site. JOB SEARCH SITES AND SOURCES LinkedIn, Indeed, Monster and Glassdoor are the few frequented job resource sites to use for the search. MLive has an employment section as well. MichiganWorks! is a great local go-to for not only job search while providing resources and tools for your quest to employment. If you’re a creative-type, Creative Circle is a great agency to work with to help find you suitable creative employment. Agencies like Robert Half, Aerotek & more can also help open doors.

IF MONEY REALLY IS AN ISSUE

There’s a mantra I’ve learned to repeat in problems past, which is, “A job is a job.” It’s not a happy mantra or the most favorite of outcomes, but in some cases, if your finances require it, it’s time to bite the bullet. In any case, if it comes down to that it now stands as a good reminder to work harder on where you want to be, while also aiming to budget better and pay things off so you don’t have so much overhead to cover in a next crisis or recession.

If you have some time, look for what you truly want to do & have some fun.

I’m not saying everything will be sunshine and rainbows and you’ll get that dream job next week, but if what you were in before wasn’t your cup of tea, now is a good time to sit down, get to know yourself a little better and figure out what you want to do. And maybe explore some new things you never thought about exploring.

Lalita Chemello is a Detroit-born writer now living in west Michigan. She’s written/edited for New Roads lifestyle magazine and Panorama. Her other passions are photography, motorsports & screenwriting. You can also occasionally find her around town on her vintage two wheels.

Lessons I’ve Learned

IF IT WERE NOT FOR HOPES, THE HEART WOULD BREAK. - Thomas Fuller

In researching “lessons learned during COVID-19,” many health practice and science-research focused lessons emerged in my search. A few came up showing the demographic populations and regions affected the most. However, there was nothing I could find reporting personal impact, and I found myself perplexed. I’m not sure about you, but for me COVID-19 has affected my home, my family, me personally, my business and everything else in my life in a multitude of ways. I’m sure the effects will continue to ripple for some time.

Having been on this earth for five plus decades, life has taught me to look for the silver lining … to look for opportunity in bad times … to consider in any situation what we have control over and what we do not … and that change can be good and has purpose (minus the sickness, despair and death that the current pandemic has brought to our world). As we continue on this uncertain, confusing COVID-19 journey, now is the time to begin to reflect on lessons learned. Consider your personal growth during the past several weeks, look at how you have adapted and take a moment to ponder how you’ll continue to adapt. It’s in times like these that it is best to grow, adapt, pivot and hold on to hope.

SO WHAT ARE THE LESSONS I’VE LEARNED AND/OR HAD REINFORCED IN MY OWN LIFE? HERE ARE A FEW.

Keep a positive, optimistic mindset. Mold a positive attitude that supports you and your family, and feed yourself daily with hope and faith.

Refuel and rest. Take extra care of YOU. It’s okay to sleep, eat, exercise and do those things that help you take care of yourself. Get dressed and maintain your grooming every day, even if you’re working from home or are laid off. It will help you keep that positive mindset and indirectly support others who see you. Surround yourself with those who matter, whether in person, with appropriate distancing or electronically. Make/grow new relationships. Reach out to deepen both personal and professional relationships. Zoom, Facetime, Skype (or any of the other video/audio calling services). Need I say more? Thank goodness for technology! Pivot. Identify and pull opportunity from the uncertainties of these times.

Draw what you need from your resources for personal, social, mind/body/spirit well-being and career/professional development. Be kind and lead with empathy. Don’t hesitate to ask for the help you need and give help when you can.

2020 can still be a great year. Many I spoke with started the new year on a high/positive note and I’m optimistic that success still awaits us in the year. In finding hope in these times, I’ll close with a bit of humor. A good laugh is good for the soul. If you happened to miss Danielle Brennandifili’s YouTube video, I’m sure you’ll get a chuckle. Take a few minutes to search for this silver lining, a bit of humor in this unprecedented time, and next, consider what lessons you have learned.

Kelly Duggan is an Image Consultant specializing in executive and personal image development, etiquette & communication skills. She is a certified member of the Association of Image Consultants International. Contact Kelly at: www.kellyduggan.com.