Feathered Scout .......................... Robbie Brown

nonfction by Conwell Morris Hotdogs are NOT Sandwiches

From Coney Island pushcarts to midwest diners, the frankfurter has become a distinct American icon.

For this reason, I fnd the recent murmurs that a hot dog is nothing more than a sandwich quite appalling. Tis confusion arises because foods are generally classifed based on broad similarities, unlike plants that sprout or bloom and can be defned by the way they grow. Some people will conclude that the hot dog is a sandwich if people believe it is a sandwich.

Tis illusion emerges from the similarity between the two and the so-called subjectiveness of food categorization. But to believe this would be to give a preposterous amount of importance to the common man’s opinion. For many people, the diference between fruits and vegetables is whether they are found in yogurt or salad. However, I would not suggest botanists begin classifying plants based on the general consumer.

I do not lack sympathy for some of the discomfort caused by these categorizations. Learning that your favorite berries, stone fruits, and melons are a cousin to avocados, cucumbers, and olives can be quite jarring. But in the name of scientifc thoroughness, we must leave some room for discomfort in the search for truth.

I assert that a hot dog is a hot dog; the bread is simply a delivery system. Remove the bun from the dog, and the remaining frankfurter is still considered a hot dog. Remove the bread from the sandwich, and you are left with a pile of meat, cheese, lettuce, and––for the more mature audience––mayonnaise. Te hot dog bun is merely there to keep the hands clean and add texture, while a sandwich requires two slices of bread.

Tis leads to a separation of dogs from sandwiches. I am someone who will die on a yellow hill of mustard in the great debate of hot dog toppings. However, it is undeniable that franks can have a wide variety of condiments. While

42 Te Talon 2022