City Voices

LANDGREN WAIT STAFF SHORTAGES ARE ON THE MENU

FIRST PERSON

Suicide loss support is prevention: Support Out of the Darkness central Mass.

Abigail Salois

Special to Worcester Magazine USA TODAY NETWORK

For close to one year, since my older sister, Liza, died by suicide, I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop.

While my older brother cleared brush alone on the property of his new home, I panicked that a tree limb would fall and crush him. I worry that something terrible has happened to my mother when she has not contacted me in a day. Though my worries seem irrational, they can be destabilizing. While my daughter sat contentedly listening to me read “Curious George” before bed, tears flooded my eyes and I worried after her future mental health, hoping fervently that bedtime stories could help keep her safe. I find myself thinking that if anything were to happen to one of my two children, the other would be alone. Sudden death is traumatic; it causes us to see danger where it may not exist. I recognize that my fear is partially a trauma response, but there was also some validity to my dread because suicide does tend to run in families. Many of us who have lost a loved one to suicide wonder in terror how far the ripple will extend and who else might be lost.

The Centers for Disease Control lists “family history of suicide” as a factor that contributes to suicide risk. Decades before Liza died, our paternal grandfather died by suicide after he received an inop-

WORCESTERIA

A moment of appreciation for people who made amazing things during a terrible time

Victor D. Infante

Worcester Magazine USA TODAY NETWORK

Amid the turmoil of COVID-19, it’s easy to fixate on the things that are gone, whether they were shut down directly because of the lockdown, such as Pageboy Hair Studio, because of the indirect economic consequences of the pandemic, such as Fairway Beef in Worcester, or just plain gentrification, such as the Bridge Academy and Community Center. It’s hard to remember that new things have appeared, too, and not just Polar Park. Restaurants such as Chashu Ramen + Izakaya, Suzette Crêperie & Café and Thai Corner have emerged, as have venues such as the BrickBox Theatre at the JMAC. There’s also been a great deal of public art, from new statues to things that are a bit more whimsical. “Public art is the most accessible and equitable form of artistic expression,” says Che Anderson, former Deputy Cultural Development Officer for Worcester and current assistant vice chancellor for city and community relations for UMass Medical School, “allowing artists and community alike to speak to current events and the state of our society. Be it the Black Lives Matter mural, which afforded local artists an opportunity to amplify Black voices and stories, or the Give Me A Sign project, aimed at calming and uplifting the community, or the recent installation of the Bob Cousy statue, which gave the community a platform to celebrate one of its most beloved heroes, public art allowed us to come together at a time where many felt alone and isolated.”

Not that it’s always easy, but it can be immensely rewarding, both for the community and the artist. Ryan Gardell, who has been involved with creating murals both on the back wall of Polar Park and for POW! WOW! Worcester, says, “My personal experiences in creating public art during the COVID era have been quite intriguing. I’ve noticed that it brings people a bit of optimism, especially when it’s unexpected, it provides a splash of color in what could otherwise be a dull, gray world in that person’s reality. Street art provides a brief escape from our typical cultural narratives, it reinforces the notion that the world is in fact a beautiful place, and not the scary, deadly war zone that we’re told it is. If someone cares enough about a wall to spend hours and

Tam Le and Son Vo pose for a portrait inside their new restaurant, Chashu Ramen +Izakaya, which is on 38 Franklin St.

in Worcester. SABRINA GODIN/SPECIAL TO TELEGRAM & GAZETTE

Moment

Continued from Page 11

the installation itself. It is about letting go to be part of the universal oneness that is already here. The fact the words will disappear as the rain dries is the very essence of it all. My last name being memorialized in the rain is also significant as poetry is the expression of many forms of spirituality.”

If public art can be seen as an expression of hope, then it seems opening an actual business under these conditions, such as a restaurant, is an expression of both faith and willpower.

“There’s too many challenges in opening a restaurant during COVID to mention them all,” says Jean-luc Wittner, chef-owner of Suzette Crêperie & Café, “but the major ones are: not being able to count on regular customers because you’re new, being denied financial help for a long period of time because when you’re new you can’t prove a loss of sales (we finally received help last March), shortage in staff, shortage in ingredients (each week there’s something I don’t find), and now inflation (+ 100% on my chicken compared to lowest price, some other ingredients have a lot less price increases), minimum wage is also going up.”

Still, the restaurant has survived its first year under the worst conditions possible, and certainly serves up delicious crepes.

For Tam Le, who co-owns Chashu Ramen + Izakaya with partner Son Vo, the adversity of the times was just another obstacle to overcome.

“The American Dream wasn’t built on rainbows and unicorns,” says Le. “It was built on hard work and perseverance through difficult times. Son and I have been fortunate to have amazing role models who have shown us this in our parents. We started out with a vision and a plan. Going into any business, we understand the risk, and anticipate challenges (albeit COVID-19 was truly ‘special’). It is the trust in not only our plan, but also in ourselves that we can weather any storm, that gives us the conviction to push forward.”

None of this undercuts the loss and pain our community has suffered over the past year and change, but rather, it’s an effort to step up and appreciate that, even in objectively terrible times, there are sill people willing to take risks and add something to the world, be it a restaurant, a mural or any other thing of cultural value that wasn’t there before.

“The simple answer to, ‘Why move forward?’” say Le, when asked, is “because that’s what we do. As entrepreneurs, it’s in our nature to build and grow things.”

Jean Luc Wittner, owner of Suzette Creperie & Cafe in Worcester, which recently opened in the former home of Weintraub's Jewish Delicatessen. ASHLEY GREEN/TELEGRAM & GAZETTE

Support

Continued from Page 10

erable cancer diagnosis. Through talking about my sister’s death, I have met many people touched by suicide. A man lost his younger brother to suicide, his father a few years later, and a friend soon thereafter. Another man lost both of his brothers to suicide. A woman lost her best friend to suicide, and thankfully did not complete her own.

Nothing having to do with suicide is simple. It is layered; it is multifactored; and it varies a great deal between families and individuals. Questions attempting to make sense of what may have led someone to take her own life are not black and white, and they torture an analytical mind because there is no sense to be made. If there is a discrete gene that runs through families and causes suicide, doctors have yet to identify it.

I have found “suicide prevention” to be an alienating term because I was not able to prevent my sister’s death. Some people cannot accept mental health services, and some suicides cannot be stopped. That said, I have come to see that suicide prevention and grief support services for suicide loss survivors are inextricably linked. That is, grief support services are an essential piece of suicide prevention. These services can catch the other shoe before it drops, stopping the ripple from expanding. SafePlace meetings through Samaritans Hope have given me some ability to calm the chaos suicide has brought to my life.

On September 18, a community of people affected by suicide will come together at Worcester’s Institute Park for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s Out of the Darkness walk. Jessika Zequeira, the Community Education Specialist at the Shine Initiative, chairs the walk in Worcester. She reports that 250 participants walked in the AFSP’s first Central Massachusetts walk in 2012, and the event raised around $25,000. During the most recent in-person walk in 2019, there were 1,000 participants, and the event raised $155,000. Zequeira believes that there are several reasons why the walks continue to grow: Suicide rates unfortunately have increased. At the same time, people are realizing that supports exist, are more willing to talk about their experiences, and suicide attempt survivors are becoming more open.

More than 47,500 people die by suicide in the United States each year. The CDC reports that 54% of Americans have been impacted by suicide in some way. Still, the stigma continues and in my experience, many people are either uncomfortable speaking about suicide or avoid the subject completely. I hope you will consider participating in the AFSP’s Out of the Darkness walk on September 18. Register, make a donation, become a sponsor, or spread the word at https://supporting.afsp.org/.

If you are seeking suicide grief support services, visit https://samaritanshope.org/ our-services/grief-support/. Whether their message is awareness, prevention, or support, these organizations are doing lifesaving work for people who are battling the demons of suicidality and for the loved ones that suicide has left behind.

Walkers during the “Out of the Darkness” walk at Institute Park, Worcester, Sept. 16, 2017. JESSICA PICARD/T&G FILE

Abigail Salois lives with her husband, two children, and dog in Holden. She has been a practicing attorney in Worcester since 2012. Follow mourning_runs on Instagram to learn more about Abigail’s writing and to join the conversation about destigmatizing suicide loss.