Connell Sanders

CONNELL SANDERS My husband got COVID. I got co-dependent

SARAH CONNELL SANDERS

“It’s like we’re on that reality show, ‘Love is Blind,’” I shouted through the wall.

“You mean the one with the woman who lets her dog drink out of a wine glass?” he yelled back.

“Yes. That’s the one.”

I heard his muffled sigh through the door.

“It could be worse,” I said, “I could be Kathy Bates in ‘Misery.’”

“Not funny,” he replied.

“I’ll leave you to your puzzles,” I told him and walked down the big lonely stairs to wander the rooms of our big lonely house.

My husband tested positive for COVID-19 nine days ago, but we had learned of his exposure to the virus five days before that. All this is to say, I haven’t smooched his handsome mug in two weeks. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful his symptoms are moderate. I don’t even mind leaving cute little love notes and trays of soup outside his door. But, I sure do miss him.

There have been a few alarming moments as his caretaker. Like, when I thought I heard him crying in pain, but it turned out he was just watching the “Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Reunion.” No shade; it’s an emotional journey.

We’ve both shown our idiosyncrasies. I like to rearrange the tracks on Taylor Swift’s “evermore” and “folklore” albums to create various iterations of a cohesive master-playlist and then explain my rationale like a doctoral thesis over Facetime. My husband likes to memorize the top-10 players on every NBA roster and see how fast he can recite each one. He’s closing in on the 20-minute marker, which I’m sure would be very impressive to the right person.

Every day, he goes for a walk in the yard and we wave at each other through the window. Once I tried mooning him, but he didn’t think it was very funny. Neither did the neighbors.

I started to worry about his dishes, but he told me they were all “taken care of.” I suspected they were piling up in a bin in the closet, so I left a sponge and some dish soap outside his door. He said they smelled “fine,” but I read that loss of smell is a COVID symptom. Come to think of it, he also claimed he no longer

HAPPY

fromMCU!

To ensure thatouremployeescan enjoytheholidayswiththeirfamilies, MCUwillobserve thefollowingChristmas andNew YearHolidayhours:

ChristmasHolidayhours: Thursday, 12/24 – alllocationswillcloseat1:00p.m. FridayandSaturday, 12/25and12/26 – alllocationswillbeclosed

New YearHolidayhours: Thursday, 12/31– alllocationswillcloseat4:00p.m. FridayandSaturday, 1/1and1/2 – alllocationswillbeclosed

SARAH CONNELL SANDERS

requires deodorant. (Something about resetting his skin’s “natural microbiome?”) I cry foul.

I put a portrait of me in his isolation room. My grandma painted it. The eyes follow you wherever you go, which is a nice feature because I wouldn’t want him getting lonesome up there.

My first test came back inconclusive, which seems kind of suspect. I’m not saying he called in a favor or anything, but he does seem to be enjoying the uninterrupted time to play video games and rearrange his baseball cards. Either way, I’m expecting a result in the next few days. If it’s positive, we can reunite. If it’s negative, we’ll be in the clear by Christmas Eve. I can’t wait to squeeze him like a lemon.

In the meantime, I ordered a Wilson volleyball off Amazon. I plan to paint a face on it so he can have a friend like Tom Hanks in that movie, “Cast Away.”

My heart is with those who are not in a position to make light of this godforsaken year. Here’s wishing you a joyful and healthy holiday from the Sanders. And, a special thank you to our friends and family for the outpouring of love and baked goods. May we cross the COVID finish line together with the hindsight of Jessica the Messica and the fortitude of James Caan.