Close to Mystery

“Iwaslucky enough to meet Padre Pio. I did not forget his gaze because it was so powerful. There was pain in his eyes. His pain was a light that lit up the soul.”

This is what Ottaviano Ottaviani told me. He lives in Fossombrone, in the province of Pesaro and Urbino. He is seventy-eight years old, and he is now retired, but he used to be an insurance agent. He has been married to his wife, Marta, for fifty-six years, and they have five daughters and seven grandchildren. He attended the monastery of San Giovanni Rotondo from 1963 until 1968. “Being around Padre Pio was overwhelming. I can’t think of other words to better describe how I felt inside in those moments. Being around him meant moving closer to a great mystery. But at the same time, every kind of doubt or fear would disappear when I was next to him because he was extremely peaceful.”

Ottaviano’s smile is priceless. When you see it, you are sure it comes straight from his heart. The way he talks about Padre Pio, his enthusiasm, and the sweetness when he describes him are so engaging that while I listen to him, I feel like I am being cradled. It is like being under covers, under a blanket, while it is snowing outside.

“My first memory of Padre Pio dates back to when I was thirteen years old. I remember my mother at home, going up the stairs. She opened her right hand, where there was a small crucifix. One of Padre Pio’s spiritual children had given it to her. She looked radiant and said, ‘I smell a violet’s scent. . . . It is everywhere in the house. . . . It is Padre Pio’s scent!’

“Padre Pio became part of my family in 1957, when my aunt Iole got sick. She had pneumonia and typhus fever. She was feeling very bad, her temperature was high, around 40 degrees Celsius (104 degrees Fahrenheit), and it did not seem to go down. The doctors did not believe she would make it. Her mother, my grandmother Maria, was very devout. She repeatedly prayed to Padre Pio. As he suggested, she used to send her guardian angel to him. One night, something inexplicable happened. My aunt Iole saw Padre Pio sitting on the left side of her bed. He was calm and smiling. But her vision was more complex.

“My aunt told us that she had seen some flames on the wall next to her bed, like a sudden fire in her bedroom, while Padre Pio was on the opposite side. However, she was fascinated by the flames, rather than by Padre Pio. She stretched her hand in their direction. She was surprised to find that they did not emanate heat, but they were rather cool. They made her burned skin feel better. Then she heard Padre Pio’s voice that said, ‘These are the souls of Purgatory.’ At the same time, another voice coming from the flames said, ‘We are the holy souls of Purgatory.’ My aunt felt serene and in good health, and she fell asleep. When she woke up, she had recovered. The fever had disappeared, and her temperature was around 36.5 degrees Celsius (97.7 Fahrenheit). The scent of jasmine filled the air in the room. When the nurse who was taking care of my aunt walked into the room, she was surprised. She exclaimed, ‘Iole, you put on some perfume!’ My aunt thought she was joking. The scent was really intense, but she probably could not smell it because she was surrounded by it. The doctor came and acknowledged her recovery. No following complications occurred.

“In 1963, my father moved from Ferrara to the Montedison in Brindisi, where he was in charge of the factory outlet. So we all moved to Apulia. We were no longer far from San Giovanni Rotondo. One day, my father took us to Padre Pio’s Mass. I remember the previous sleepless night because we had to leave very early, before sunrise. The closer we got to Gargano, the more excited we were. The church was crowded, and everyone was there for his Mass. On that day I realized what mystery is, and since then, Padre Pio has never left my heart. I visited him often. Once I even stayed there for eight days. Something amazing happened that week.

“I read a book that mentioned an event that impressed me. A group of pilgrims were on their way to San Giovanni Rotondo. They all asked their guardian angels to deliver their requests to Padre Pio. When he saw them the following day, he told them, ‘You are finally here! Your guardian angels did not let me sleep all night!’ Padre Pio really insisted on the existence and help of guardian angels. In the letters he wrote to his devotees, he often encouraged them to turn to their guardian angels. He used to write, ‘Send your guardian angel to me because it does not need a train ticket, and it won’t wear out its shoes.’

“In a letter he wrote to his spiritual director, Fr. Agostino da San Marco, he explains to him that his own guardian angel woke him up early every morning in order to pray with him. ‘When I close my eyes at night, I see heaven ahead of me,’ he wrote. ‘This vision delights me. I feel calm, and I fall asleep with a sweet smile on my face, waiting for my little childhood friend to wake me up so that we can say the morning prayers together.’ Padre Pio would always say to his devotees, ‘When you need me but you can’t visit me, send your guardian angel to me with your message.’ One day, one of these devotees asked him. ‘Can you really hear what my guardian angel has to say to you?’ Padre Pio answered, ‘Well, do you think I am deaf?’

“After reading about these episodes, I decided to try something. While I was in San Giovanni Rotondo every day for a week, I hid myself behind a column of the church. I prayed to my guardian angel, and I sent it to Padre Pio. I said to it, ‘Go … now!’ In that exact moment, Padre Pio looked at me. I did it several times, and he always turned around, looking in my direction. On Sunday, after the Angelus and after blessing the faithful, I sent my guardian angel to him for the umpteenth time. Padre Pio burst out loudly, ‘What do you want? What do you want from me?’ He looked at me even though the church was overcrowded. I explained to him everything when I confessed to him, and he smiled.

“I remember another episode that took place during those days. While I was having dinner at my hotel, I saw a man sitting at a table near mine. He was emaciated, pale, and he had bags under his eyes. There was a big plate of pasta on the table in front of him, and I thought he was never going to eat it all. The owner of the hotel told me that the man had arrived in the morning, close to death. He had terminal stomach cancer. He was lying still on a stretcher, but then Padre Pio told him to get up. He immediately recovered, and now he was very hungry.

“What impressed me the most about Padre Pio was his modesty. He believed he was a sinner like all of us. I remember that when he said, ‘Mea culpa, mea maxima culpa’ during Mass, he hit his chest so vigorously that you could hear it resounding everywhere in the church. He did not like to be the center of attention. Once I even heard him threatening to call the police if people did not stop calling him a saint.