The Borderline Martine Rose

The Borderline

Martine Rose

It’s incredible, the speed of the switch.

I’m insignificant. I can’t do anything at all. I am the worst, the ugliest, least talented, least capable …

And then my brain decides that it’s had enough and switches sides.

I’m magnificent. I can do anything. I am the best. The prettiest. Most talented. Most capable.

Hell Depression

It’s black and white. There is no grey, no colour. or or heaven. mania.

Depression gives no hope; mania is saturated in it.

I’m suffocating. My lungs are drained, and I can’t fill them. One breath would save me, but I am gasping.

People say, ‘You’ll be okay.’ And I know that’s true because I know Soon enough my brain will switch. Once again feeling like God.

I’ll dye my hair blue, Pink, or red. Give myself a piercing. Get a tattoo. Permanent decisions to fix a temporary state of mind. The mania controls me.

If I had to choose one, I’d choose to be manic. It’s not ideal. But the euphoria of mania beats the misery of depression.