The Importance of Compatibility in Relationships

BY MARY CAMPBELL

Arelationship usually begins with an attraction. It may be physical appearance, personality, or sense of humor. However, there is something about a person that draws another to them. Although there is nothing wrong with attraction, it is not a solid foundation for a relationship. Compatibility is necessary for a lasting relationship.

What is Compatibility? Compatibility is more than just having similar interests. It is necessary to have similar core values. What are core values? Core values are work ethics, religious beliefs, child-rearing techniques, and the importance of family. These values comprise who you are as a person.

Why is Compatibility Important? People certainly do not have to have identical core values to have a lasting relationship. However, they do have to be willing to understand their partner's core values. They also have to be willing to compromise. For instance, if a couple has vastly different core values regarding child-rearing, issues are bound to arise. One parent may take an authoritarian approach to discipline while the other is more permissive. In time, the permissive parent will undermine the parental authority of the other parent by overriding decisions and giving in to the child's desires. The two parents need to communicate their feelings honestly and compromise by developing a parenting style that is neither authoritarian nor permissive.

Types of Compatibility Physical Physical and sexual compatibility are most important in the early stages of a relationship. However, maintaining sexual satisfaction is vital for a healthy relationship. As people age, they become more comfortable in their relationships. While physical satisfaction is still important, they may focus more on love, trust, and dependability.

Emotional Emotional compatibility is how you express your feelings. Couples need to support each other emotionally. Emotional compatibility helps people to feel comfortable and secure in their relationship. However, emotional incompatibility can cause challenges in the relationship. For instance, an introvert and extrovert can have difficulty communicating. An outgoing partner may enjoy parties, travel, and adventures, while the other prefers dinner and a movie at home. The extrovert may eventually feel stifled by their introvert partner. Likewise, the introvert may feel pressured to be more outgoing. These differences may seem minor, but in time they could become sources of dispute in the relationship.

Financial Financial compatibility includes work ethics, spending habits, saving, budgeting, and financial planning. Financial incompatibility is a primary source of problems for many couples. You may have one partner who is a workaholic and another that procrastinates. You may have one person who saves frugally and another that spends lavishly. Such financial behavior will undoubtedly lead to arguments. It is best to have some level of financial compatibility. It will be necessary to reach a compromise regarding financial goals.

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