Importance of a Living Trust & Getting Your Documents Together

Most know how critical it is to create a last will and testament when estate pre-planning. Despite its name, however, a will isn’t the final document you need to ensure a smooth transferal of your earthly possessions to the next generation. Here’s a look at how a living trust smooths the way for the proper execution of your will.

How trusts work Without a living trust, you risk sending your surviving family members through a drawn-out legal proceeding known as probate. These hearings first determine whether a will is valid. They then turn their attention to locating and valuing a decedent’s assets. Any outstanding bills and tax debts are paid. Finally, probate hearings make a determination on distributing whatever remains to those who are named in your will. Living trusts streamline the process, proving for a designated family member or friend to manage your property. They can then quickly resolve these end-of-life issues.

Appointing someone The very first requirement is finding an executor who you completely trust to handle this important process in your absence. Your executor should also be someone who is mature enough to deal with a very difficult assignment. If you can’t find the right person — or if the intention is to leave out all direct beneficiaries — then you can name a representative from your bank or trust company to handle things.

Setting them up A person who you appoint handles everything that the court would slowly work its way through, transferring ownership to your intended beneficiaries and following any other instructions. Seek out the advice of an attorney who specializes in living trusts and wills, so that you can be assured that everything in these documents is legally binding. What if you change you mind? Living trusts are revocable, as long as you’re deemed mentally competent.

Potential problems There is one notable downside. Living trusts are typically far more costly to set up than the average straight-forward will. In the long run, however, that additional cost will be worth it in your absence since your family won’t have to deal with probate. Be aware that some banks and mortgage companies require that any real estate be removed from the trust before refinancing. A pre-planning professional can walk you through the process. Also, be sure to name yourself and spouse as trustees in your living will, so you’ll remain in control of all assets before your death.

Getting Your Documents in Order Building an estate plan requires a clearly marked paper trail so that your wishes can be followed. Organizing everything beforehand ensures that these end-of-life allocations are doled out in a timely and fair manner. Here’s what you’ll need: Last Will and Testament Wills are the most well-known of these documents, providing an official road map for where your belongings will go. Beyond describing who will receive your assets, the last will and testament also designates a manager to settle your estate and a legal guardian for any minor children. Otherwise, a court will make these appointments.

Power of Attorney Unfortunately, our deaths are sometimes preceded by lengthy illnesses. A durable power of attorney ensures that your estate is cared for, even if you are incapacitated late in life. You can set up an immediate power of attorney, if you are have pending surgery or are facing worsening health issues.

Letter of Instruction This is not legally required, or in any way binding, but it might be a good idea. A letter of instruction provides larger context for your wishes, while also directing the executor and your remaining family to important paperwork and other belongings. l

When Home Life is Hard: Understanding Abuse

BY MENTAL HEALTH AMERICA

Everyone’s home life is different, and no one's is perfect. Growing up isn’t easy and feeling sad or uncomfortable at home can add stress to other challenges you might be facing, like troubles with school and friends. Maybe you’re even feeling guilty for feeling this way because you suspect that some of your peers “have it worse.” But that doesn’t make your challenges any less big to you, and you’re the one who has to deal with them. No matter what’s making life difficult at home for you right now, your feelings about it are valid. Child abuse is when someone caring for a child intentionally hurts them physically or emotionally. It can be hard to recognize this abuse – it’s natural to trust that the people who are supposed to care for you wouldn’t hurt you. But your feelings are important, and if you feel scared or unsafe at home, you might be experiencing some form of abuse.

Am I Being Abused? Experiencing abuse is scary and confusing, especially when it’s coming from someone who is supposed to take care of you. Even if you know you are being hurt, you may have thoughts like: I know they love me. I don’t want to get them in trouble. What if it’s not on purpose? What if I did something wrong? What if they told me not to tell anyone? No matter what, abuse is never your fault, and you deserve to feel safe around the people in your life. It’s also important to know that something considered abuse in one culture may not be considered abuse in another. This doesn’t mean that the actions don’t hurt you – as the one experiencing the situation, you are the only person who can decide if you are hurt. But sometimes, what looks like intentional abuse or neglect may be a cultural misunderstanding or a traditional practice. In cases like this, education and support can help families change their behavior.

What Should I Do If I Think I’m Being Abused? The safest thing you can do if you’re being hurt (or are scared you will be hurt) by someone in your life is to talk to an adult. You have a few options on who to go to: An adult you know and trust. You can tell a family member, teacher, coach, friend’s parent, neighbor, or any other adult in your life who you feel safe around about what you are experiencing. Some of these adults may be mandated reporters – people who are required by law to report suspected abuse or neglect. These adults are really important in keeping kids safe, but you might not be ready for someone to intervene yet. Mandated reporters vary by state but often include teachers, school staff, and other adults who work with children.

The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-4-A-CHILD). You can call (or text or chat) this hotline 24/7 to reach a professional crisis counselor. They will listen to you, help you decide what to do, and can connect you with support services. All calls, texts, and chats are confidential.

The police. If you are in immediate and serious danger, you should call 911. They will respond and intervene immediately.

What If I’m Not Ready to Talk Yet? That’s okay. Sometimes kids feel guilty speaking up, like they are betraying their parents or caregivers, or are scared about what will end up happening to them. It takes a lot of courage to talk about abuse, and it’s okay if you aren’t prepared for that yet. Focus on keeping yourself safe in the meantime: find a safe space in your home or at a friend’s house, limit interaction by having headphones on or focusing on a book, and have a plan in case you ever need to get out of the house immediately. You deserve to feel safe and loved. When you are ready, know that telling someone is the safest and bravest thing you can do, and there are a lot of adults who care about you and will help keep you safe. l

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5 Signs of Relationship Infidelity

BY MARY CAMPBELL

Infidelity can destroy a relationship. Once a partner has cheated, re-establishing trust is difficult. Future relationships may start on shaky ground due to trust issues that develop after infidelity. If you suspect your partner is seeing someone else, you may be able to save your relationship if you recognize the early warning signs. Here are a few red flags of infidelity.

1. Accusations A cheating partner will often accuse you of cheating on them. They make accusations and act as though they detest cheating. They try to make you think they would never do such a thing. However, they may be unfaithful or contemplating infidelity. You may be so upset by their accusations that you don't even notice the red flags that signal your partner's unfaithfulness.

2. Working Late Working late can be a classic sign of cheating. When a partner suddenly starts working late or spending more time at work, it may be a red flag of infidelity. Work-related travel may also be a sign of unfaithfulness, especially if the travel suddenly starts or increases. An unfaithful partner may also make excuses for their whereabouts even when you didn't ask them any questions. Guilt causes them to make excuses to justify their whereabouts.

3. Arguments Feeling guilty can make an unfaithful partner irritable. They may project their feelings of guilt onto you by nit-picking at you for insignificant things. They may pick arguments over minor details. They want to feel better about themselves by making you the villain.

4. Secrecy If your partner is unfaithful, they may guard their phone or other electronic devices with passwords. They may take their phone everywhere they go, including the bathroom. Constant texting and checking messages can also be a red flag of infidelity. If your partner receives calls from an unknown number or texts late at night, it may be an indication of unfaithfulness.

5. Change in Appearance A cheating partner may suddenly be more interested in their appearance. They may go on a diet or start working out at the gym. They may get a new hairstyle or buy new clothes. Consider it a red flag if your partner suddenly starts to take more pride in their appearance.

What to Do if You Suspect Infidelity Although the aforementioned red flags may be indications of infidelity, they are not proof. However, even if your partner has not been unfaithful, red flags are signs of problems in the relationship. It is best to deal with the issues before the relationship breaks down completely. Try talking to your partner about your feelings. If they rebuff your concerns, suggest relationship counseling to work out any problems you may be experiencing in your relationship. If you find that your partner has cheated, it doesn't mean the relationship has to end. However, it does mean you will need to work together to repair the relationship and re-establish trust.

Adultery as a Legal Ground for Divorce in New York Adultery is a common reason for spouses to separate and divorce. In New York, the court may consider adultery by a spouse in different aspects of the divorce. Adultery occurs when you have sexual intercourse with someone other than your spouse. If you're seeking a divorce based on adultery, you must prepare for a higher-conflict divorce case than if you were to leave adultery out of the process. The law requires that you provide evidence of adultery from a third-party, such as a private investigator. You must provide this evidence to a judge and prove that the adultery occurred and that it caused the divorce. As always, it is best to seek the advice of an experienced attorney. Understand your rights and options: Ask the Lawyer. Call 855-7688845 or visit www.askthelawyer.us to schedule an appointment. The lawyer you hire, does make a difference!l

House GOP’s Immigration Framework Recreates Trump’s Border Wish List

BY AARON REICHLIN-MELNICK

As midterm election season heats up, House Republicans on the “American Security Task Force” have produced a new framework for what they say is a plan to “secure the border.” Despite the claim of new ideas to tackle the situation at the border, the framework is almost identical to prior legislative and administrative efforts under the Trump administration. By focusing on deterrence-based tactics, the framework ignores common-sense solutions to addressing migration at the border, including expanding access to legal pathways, addressing root causes of migration, streamlining migrant processing, and expanding access to asylum at ports of entry. The framework is broadly divided into three sections: supporting Rep. John Katko’s (R-NY) “Border Security for America Act,” creating a new public health authority under Title 42 that would permit border officials to expel migrants under the pretense of stopping drug smuggling, and a grab-bag of border policies. Most of these policies were adopted by the Trump administration, aimed at “regain[ing] operational control of the southern border.” Rep. Katko’s Border Security for America Act proposes bolstering infrastructure at the southern border, both physical infrastructure and personnel development. It would require U.S. Customs and Border Protection (CBP) to build all sections of the border wall which were paused when Biden took office. Despite claims that this would “Finish the wall,” it wouldn’t come close. Even if CBP finished constructing every inch of border wall that was under contract when Trump left office, there would still be hundreds of miles of border without any barrier. The bill would also massively expand the current authority of the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) Secretary to “waive all legal requirements” that prevent wall construction, by extending the authority to nearly all aspects of building and maintain of border infrastructure. This provision could effectively immunize the Border Patrol from many of the normal legal requirements imposed on the government, including core environmental protections. Katko’s bill also calls for hiring nearly 3,000 new Border Patrol agents, raising the total number of agents to 22,748 from the current level of just under 20,000. Carrying this out, however, would be difficult. Over the last few years, the size of the Border Patrol has only increased by roughly 75 new agents per year, even when authorized to hire thousands more. The agency has even begun to offer a $10,000 hiring bonus.

A man crosses the border between Mexico and the United States crossing the Rio Bravo with his daughter in his arms Editorial credit: David Peinado Romero / Shutterstock.com

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Beyond Katko’s bill, the GOP framework calls for a new Title-42-esque public health authority that would declare a public health crisis due to fentanyl and other illegal narcotics. This would give border officials the authority to expel migrants without permission to seek asylum. This plan ignores key evidence that most fentanyl is smuggled into the United States at ports of entry (often in passenger vehicles driven by U.S. citizens). Worse yet, it creates a “solution” that has no relation to the “problem.” If a migrant is smuggling fentanyl, it would be detected when they are taken into Border Patrol custody and the person would be prosecuted—not expelled. And expelling migrants who are not smuggling fentanyl obviously does not protect Americans from fentanyl. Finally, the GOP framework offers a variety of legal and policy changes which it claims would “regain operational control” of the southern border. This falsely presupposes that when Trump left office, the border was “under control.” The reality is far different; by fall 2020, border encounters had already surged to the highest levels they had been in 15 years. The only border policy offered in this section would be to mandate that DHS restart the Remain in Mexico program a second time. However, the document does not acknowledge that Mexico itself heavily restricted the Biden administration’s court-mandated restart of the program, and that Mexico would be unlikely to change its position if asked to authorize the program a third time in four years. The framework would also require a mass expansion of detention centers across the country and reinstate the practice of detaining parents and children in ICE custody for months at a time by ending the Flores settlement. It would also severely limit parole authority, requiring DHS to hold more people in detention, and strip unaccompanied children of heightened anti-trafficking protections that guarantee them a chance to have a day in court. The framework also shoehorns in mandatory E-Verify, ignoring that E-Verify is easy to fool and many states already have mandatory E-Verify and haven’t seen any reduction in their undocumented population. This framework is unlikely to be implemented and is largely a wish list of policies that GOP members of Congress might use in future bipartisan negotiations. That fact is not acknowledged in the framework—nor is the reality that people are fleeing to the United States for reasons that have nothing to do with U.S. policy. Despite claims to the contrary, Trump didn’t “solve” the border. By focusing purely on carrying out Trump’s border wish list and ignoring the other reasons that people migrate, the House GOP are failing to engage with the complicated reality of the situation at the border.l

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