Four Ways Porn Ruins Relationships

While many see pornography as a way to enhance sexual pleasure within a healthy relationship, the continuing use of porn is often an sign of disconnection and dissatisfaction. How? Porn creates unrealistic sexual expectations that real sex between partners cannot deliver on.

Love is the most wonderful feeling in the world. There is no feeling like it with the power to heal and to lift someone up. It is what leads to friendships and even romances. It leads to a trust like none other. In the case of romance, this trust often leads to life-long commitment in the form of marriage. However, it can all fall apart in an instant once that trust is shattered, and porn can easily contribute to the shattering of that trust. Here's how.

1. Trust is Gone

You know that shattered trust mentioned above? Once it is broken, it is so hard to repair and even harder to replace once lost. To women especially, it feels as if the spouse is bringing another woman into their marriage bed. It is the equivalent of cheating.

2. Dishonesty

The partner looking at porn often feels the need to hide it from their partner for fear of an unfavorable reaction. But the problem with that is that people can usually tell when someone is hiding something. Secrets are never a good idea. Again, it is a trust thing.

3. Unrealistic Expectations

Porn is addictive not because the people being watched are more attractive than the current partner, but because it is different. It becomes a sort of high and a challenge to keep searching for something new and unique. The problem with that, though, is that what the spouse does have to offer is no longer satisfying. For a while, the spouse may try to meet the lofty standards and expectations even if it goes against an innate desire not to do so. However, eventually it will build resentment.

4.

Shame

Shame is a relationship killer as much as broken trust. The partner hiding the porn addiction is ashamed of having the addiction. It just feels dirty to have secrets from a loved one, especially knowing that it is much like cheating or that it often leads to cheating. And, from the partner's perspective, shame is felt because of the awareness of being compared to sex objects. It is a feeling of not being able to measure up to lustier competition and a sense of lowered self-esteem.

Dealing With Your Partner Watching Porn

If you're unhappy about your partner watching porn, speak to them about it. Agonizing in silence will only make the situation worse. Approach the discussion while still expressing mindfulness for your partner and their needs. It is important to establish a safe space to have a sensitive conversation. Always, share your concerns, wants, and needs."

Ask yourself and discuss with your partner the following:

•What worries you about your partner watching porn?

•How does it make you feel about yourself? About the relationship?

•Why is your partner watching porn?

•How's your sex life going? Could it improve?

•How can both partners' needs be met with the most consideration?

If you are into porn and it has not ruined your relationship yet, there is a good chance that it will. Take heed of these reasons and seek help for the addiction before it is too late.p

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