Bad Fantasy

SISANA LAZAZRUS

I want a boyfriend Who lives in a big house At the end of the street On the harbour With smooth stone steps A stained-glass door Where his mother is waiting Arms outstretched Asking about the traffic And what wine I want to drink

His father loves me too Privately Behind the silk curtains and the marble walls Cabinets full of liquor Wondering if he could’ve had me When he was young and beautiful like his boy In his best dressed Staring out at a world that belongs to him My boyfriend has a room On the second storey Little palace tucked away Facing that calm body of water Kissed and fed by soft moonlight Where we embrace quietly In his king sized bed And lie intertwined

When I leave in the morning The teary farewell I bow down to that big house Filled with small people Performing life with such clean precision So far away from what I know is real Too perfect I cannot stay The place where I am praised For killing the beating heart

heartbreak