Diary of an Online Dating Junkie

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Dawn Marie

Introduction Staring at my reflection in the rearview mirror, I had to admit that I felt slightly nervous. Digging through my Louis Vuitton bag, I spied my favorite lip gloss and applied it generously. Dabbing a little face powder on my shiny nose finished off my look, and I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. Not bad for thirty something! God, I hope these coffee dates are better than the last two. When I pulled into the typically small Starbucks parking lot, I was relieved to find that not only was I able to find a parking spot, I was actually early. I liked to arrive at least fifteen minutes before time so that I could order my vanilla latte or café mocha, depending on my mood, prior to my date arriving. This allowed me to find the perfect seat, with the best view, so that I could see my date walking through the door. Okay, it also allowed me to settle my nerves, which always seemed to be a little high when I met someone new. Within seconds, usually, I could tell if the date would be good, or just another one to add to the book of “learning experiences;” I suppose it was my gift 9


Diary of an Online Dating Junkie after having been doing this for so long. That day would be a challenge, even for me. I was trying something new that I hoped I wouldn’t end up regretting. I had been emailing back and forth with three really interesting men. Coincidentally, they all wanted to meet me on the same day. If I could fit them all in at the same Starbucks, staggering the meeting times by forty-five minutes, that would eliminate having to drive all over town; saving time and gas in one fell swoop! It made sense to me…and I figured that it might actually be fun! First up was David, the Real Estate Broker. He was fortytwo years old, six foot two inches tall, dark hair with green eyes. From the few times that we had corresponded, he sounded like a fun loving type of guy, and as I sat sipping my latte, my mind began to conjure an image of him. When a man matching David’s description walked through the door, I initially reacted with satisfaction. Mmm…I like, I thought, that is until I saw him approach another woman and plant a kiss on her lips. Darn, not him. Looking down at my watch, I realized that David was already ten minutes late. It could be embarrassing later on if he ended up being too late, thus impacting my time schedule. Just thinking about the possibility made me nervous. Why didn’t I stagger things a little bit more…didn’t anticipate the possibility of someone being late. Taking another sip of my latte, I noticed a newcomer walk 10


Dawn Marie through the door. He seemed to notice me right away and didn’t bother to order coffee before approaching. “Excuse me,” he said hopefully. “Please, make me a happy man and tell me you’re Dawn.” Putting down my latte, I looked up at him with a smile, “I guess this is your lucky day!” David sat down next to me and I could tell immediately that he had potential. Since he was so late, I had to remember to keep the meeting as short as possible…as much as I hated to. “I’m sorry I was so late, I had to drop my kids off at a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese,” he said nonchalantly. Hmmm…I don’t recall his profile saying that he had a child. This one might not be so great after all, I thought flatly. Just the mention of Chuck E. Cheese was enough to hoist a huge red flag and send me into defense mode. That’s when David’s cell phone rang. “Sorry, I have to get this, it’s my oldest son,” he said, turning slightly away from me to have his conversation. The word “oldest” implied that he had not one son, but two…at least. He didn’t mention kids when we spoke on the phone the night before. I made sure to tell him about my fourteen year old daughter. Shifting in my seat, I took an uncomfortable sip of my latte. “Dawn, I am so sorry,” he began, and I could already tell that this one was headed downhill fast. “My son just informed me that his little brother got hurt while playing in the ball-pit. 11


Diary of an Online Dating Junkie I’m sorry I have to make this so short, but he’s crying and wants me to pick him up. Can I call you later? Maybe we can meet up for a cocktail this evening; I don’t have the kids tonight.” “Umm…yeah, sure, that sounds great,” I answered, all the while thinking, like that’s going to happen. I mean, I hate to sound cold about kids…it’s not that I don’t like them, but I made a decision that no matter how much I liked a man, I wouldn’t date him if his kids were younger than my daughter. I just don’t want to do the whole “Chuck E. Cheese thing” anymore, it’s sort of “been there, done that.” Besides, have you seen Chuck E. Cheese lately? It’s disgusting. Checking my watch, as David walked out of the door, I made note of when my next coffee date would arrive. I had ten minutes. It turned out that I got lucky in terms of my stupid scheduling. I wonder why these guys choose not to mention something as important as their own kids. Clearly there is a little box on every profile that asks: Do you have kids? How many? Do you want more? Seems pretty simple to me, I thought to myself dryly. I made a mental note to wipe the look of aggravation off of my face before the next man arrived. What a waste of time. Next up was Jerry. Jerry the…I forget exactly what Jerry did for a living. I should have re-read his profile that morning. As a matter of fact, I had even forgotten his description. It looked like I would be flying blind. I took another sip of my then cold latte, and through the door walked a guy who I hoped 12


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