In My Shoes: Teen Reflections on Hope & the Future

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Self-Discovery Through Art

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“I started getting more opportunities and that just opened my mind to new things and showed me how far I can get with my talent.�

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Painfully Beautiful Before I really started getting into painting canvases or walls, I was drawing a lot. So, I guess I can say I picked up some pretty good skills. I started selling paintings, and I loved knowing that one person was going to have that in their home. I just loved the idea of that, but after a while, I got introduced to tattooing. And that fascinated me way more because of the fact that I could tattoo someone and that person would be keeping that for the rest of their life—not just on their wall until someday it might end up in a basement somewhere. No. This stays on you forever, so I love that I can put a piece of my artwork on someone’s body and know that they are keeping that with them everywhere they go. But to do that, which I would love as my future career, I will have to practice a lot and build up my confidence and selfesteem because at times, I am very insecure about my art. So I’ve got to make sure that I’ve got that down. I can make sure that when a client comes in to get something done, I can make them feel secure about getting a tattoo done by me. One of the appealing things about it to me is that tattooing is something I love to do and at the same time, it is something that can be my future career. I’ve heard it said that if you find a job you love to do, you will never work a day in your life. In other words, if you like what your job is, it won’t feel like work. Another advantage would be that every day I would be learning new techniques because every day would be a new tattoo on a different body part. Other things that would keep everyday a new experience would be: wiggly clients, scared clients, wrinkly clients, brave ones, thin or thick designs, some simple tattoos, complex ones, colorful ones, plain black and white ones. There would be many different things to keep it interesting and keep me learning every day. 25


In My Shoes

Also another thing I’ve got to do to get into tattooing is meeting different artists to see the different point of views or the different outlooks they have on tattooing. One of the other things that I have to do is sharpen up my skills as much as I can now. Then, when I start tattooing, I can just practice more and more. Another thing I have to do is to get my diploma because I’ll need that also, so I am going to be working on that, too. And since I started my twelfth grade year here at Omaha South High Magnet School, on my own time I have been working on this sketch book or portfolio of all my nice work so that when I am eighteen and have my diploma, I can show people my work and hope that they like it. Basically, the bottom line is I enjoy doing art. I love it when someone owns a piece of mine. So what better way to do that than tattooing? That way, the person loves what they have on their body, and I love that they are going to keep it forever. So I hope that my future career is the one thing I love—tattooing. And, yes, I know that I am going to go through a lot of obstacles, like hearing a lot of criticism. But sometimes I think that’s good for me, so that I’ll know what I need to work on and perfect because I just don’t want to be some other tattoo artist and make money off of it. I want to be that tattoo artist that people want to go back to for their next tattoo and the artist that they will recommend to other people. That’s the kind of tattoo artist that I want to one day become. With me putting all my attention towards my artistic skills, I just cannot picture myself doing some type of other job. It has gotten me out of a lot of bad habits and heavy drug problems; my mind used to be stuck on the drugs that I was taking. My choice of drug was pills, and I was always worried that I wasn’t going to have a pack of pills the next morning so I could get high. I always tried to make sure I had enough for the whole week. I was never thinking of 26


Self-Discovery Through Art

drawing, and when I did draw, it was just impossible because I was high everyday. I was getting to the point where I was getting sick and tired that I wouldn’t feel high after popping fifteen pills at once. And I got so overwhelmed by the amount of pills I was taking every week that I just had to let it all out. So I reached out for real help, but I got so let down. When I tried getting help for my problems, nothing happened. After that letdown, I told myself I am not getting help from friends or professional help, and I let go of the pills for about three days. In those three days, without noticing, I was drawing a lot— like non-stop. I told myself that maybe this is the way out of all my problems, and so I went for it and just threw all my drugs away and got more into my art. Teachers started noticing me for my art. Then, I started getting more opportunities, and that just opened my mind to new things and showed me how far I can get with my talent. One of the experiences that got me really far was the Packasso Project, which helps graffiti writers to do more legal art and expand their artistic skills. A lot of teachers recommended me to the people in charge, so they called me down to a meeting and asked us if we wanted to help make up a name and start this project and see where it goes. We already liked the artist Picasso, and since we’re the Packers, we came up with the Packasso Project. Now we actually have a bunch of people who want to be in it! We have painted a lot of walls and gone to conferences where we present who we are. It has helped me to be more outgoing because I actually have to sit in front of a big group and talk, which I have always been afraid of doing. We have been able to do business with people who want us to paint their walls. We talk to them and see what they want. My favorite wall was when we went to my principal’s house and painted her basement walls. It was my favorite project because we weren’t given a topic and could just paint what we wanted. I painted my 27


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