JULY - AUGUST 2016
Write Tribe Mag
Life Lessons A collection of articles from members of the Write Tribe Facebook Group
ISSUE # 1
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 1
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
FEARS PAYAL AGARWAL I have my own set of fears.
self- sabotaging. One fear leads to another.
Fear of acceptance, fear of rejection, fear of
Initially, there is nothing to fear.
hurting, fear of haunting, fear of getting lost, fear of sickness, fear of losing my loved ones.
So here’s my prayer..
I fear everything that stops my flow!
Today, be with me, O Lord, as I begin again, to
Fear, fear, fear!
make my world of dreams, more beautiful, more worth it.
Fear engulfed me, and one fine day realization dawned.
Today, be with me, O Lord, as I begin to think of my journey, as I begin again with nothing on mind.
Negativity fades away, and there is nothing to fear. Today, be with me, O Lord, as I begin to pack my As I take a step back and look at it, I understand it
grudges, my fears, and embark on a journey with
better. When our minds are weak, we attract all
a forgiving heart.
the negativity from all the spheres. Like many people, I fear the unknown for some experiences
Today, be with me O Lord, and help me as I begin
are not pleasant.
to live my life fearlessly.
What I learnt? Fear is a shackle of negativity that stops me from moving forward. Thoughts create ripples. My fearful thoughts are the acts of
Payal Agarwal is an admirer of art and keen observer of life who capture her thoughts in sketches, clicks and musings at Kaleidoscope.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 2
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
HAMSTERS ON A WHEEL SUNAINA SHARMA My daily routine had been disrupted. My house
I refused to listen. He raised his voice just enough
was a complete mess. Clothes had been flung out,
so I could hear what he was saying, "Maybe you
books lay scattered on the floor, even my kitchen
are looking in the wrong place." But I did not want
showed the brunt of the frantic search that was
to listen. I kept my search on until I was exhausted
on. Before your mind goes crazy with imagination,
beyond measure. I googled up the book's price. It
let me tell you what had happened. I had
wasn't that expensive. So that was not a concern.
borrowed a few books from the library and they
But it was a matter of responsibility. I had been
were due today. The book-mobile, the library bus
careless. I had been negligent. I was unable to give
that comes to our complex every week, was
my mind a rest. I called my friend and asked her to
arriving in an hour. I could either renew my books
check her house too.
or return them. Since I was done reading the book that I could not locate, it was time to give it back.
The day went on as it does every day except my
But the book seemed to have disappeared. I had it
restlessness which knew no relief. I could
in my hand two days back. I had shown it to my
concentrate on nothing else. I had no heart in the
friend too. And now, it was nowhere. Not in the
food I cooked or the meal I ate. I played with my
closet, not on the shelf, not in the kitchen, not on
kids distractedly. I kept straining my mind so that I
the bed. Not anywhere. It was just gone.
could get some clue as to where I had left the book. Nothing seemed to help. The next morning
It had been two hours since my search began. My
my friend gave me a call and said that the book
husband was working from home that day. He
was at her house. It surprised me but I felt calm
seemed unaffected by what was going around
now. I sank in the sofa to breathe in some sanity.
until it was lunch time. A hungry rumbling of his
The composed moments made me reflect on a lot
stomach seemed to awaken him from his work-
that had happened the previous day. Let me share
induced slumber. He looked around and asked me
with you some of my thoughts.
for lunch. I was piqued and asked him to help himself. All this while, I was muttering to myself.
While searching for the book, I discovered some
So he soon understood that I had misplaced a
other things that I had 'lost' - like my daughter's
library book. He suggested I should take a break.
princess book, and a t-shirt that she seldom wore
PAGE 3
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
seldom happens. Like a hamster on a wheel, we are trapped in a circle of never-ending wants. The chase is doomed because of our misplaced direction. We are trying to walk on a path that does not exist. We have to seek within but our gaze is turned the opposite way. In the hullabaloo of our ambitions, we also fail to hear the gentle whispers of love and care. You will ask me, what is it that we overlook? Well, we deny ourselves the simple pleasures of looking around and appreciating the moment. We disregard those but one that I had bought only because it said
we love because we have become so busy. We
'Mommy makes me smile'....How vain a mom I am,
even ignore our mental and physical well-being.
I thought. My hunt also took me to a corner of my
And then, like that jacket that was eaten by those
house that lay neglected for I know not how long.
two bugs, we crumble too. We lose friends. We fail
As I emptied it out, I spotted two tiny bugs. They
in relationships. We fall sick. We waste.
weren't moths but they surely seemed to love clothes as was evident in the tiny holes on my
Isn’t it amazing how life teaches us every day to
jacket. And then the absent book, which I tried to
live well? That day, it also taught me one more
locate in a place it wasn't.
thing. Sometimes, listen to your husband. He might be right too…..:)
The hunt and all that happened around it seemed like a metaphor for what most of us do in life. We seek what we deem necessary and indispensable. And we seek it in the ‘wrong’ place. (Ouch, my husband was right after all…!) And often, in our senseless quest, we overlook important aspects of our life. We disregard until matters get out of hand or until it gets too late for rectification. Consider happiness. Why is it so illusive for most of us? Isn’t it because we seek it in the ‘wrong’ place? Isn’t it because we associate objects of our ‘desire’ with happiness? And isn’t ‘desire’ the root of all problems? We expect that once our wishes are fulfilled, we will find happiness. But that
Sunaina Sharma is a blogger and creative writer residing in Edison, New Jersey. She has done her Masters in Literature from Delhi University, India. She writes short stories, poems, nonfictional pieces and book reviews on her blogs When I Stopped to Smell a Rose and Mere Desh Ki Mitti.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 4
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
CHOOSING TO REALLY SEE HARMONY VUYCANKIAT The warmth of mid-day starts to burn her barely
about. Taking what you want from the weak and
covered scalp. She tugs the red baseball cap over
the small. Ganging up on the unsuspecting and
her sparsely grown hair and shrugs. I watch her
the innocent.
from my sun chair, aching. She doesn’t even regard her lack of locks as abnormal anymore. It’s
I cringe at the thought but this is why I’m here. At
just a part of her life now. And I wonder if normal
the seashore. Away from the noise and chatter. To
will ever visit her home again.
gain a little perspective. To picture the burdens being washed away from me.
We talk as we watch the waves crash against the shore. So much healing to be found in the ebb and
“Why is this happening, God? Why is this greedy
flow of the tides. Our shared stories linger in the
cancer eating up my sister’s dreams? Swallowing
space between us until the salty breeze blows
them down faster than she can reclaim them?”
them out to sea. We silently thirst for more healing. So we lock our eyes on the depths of the
My bitterness starts to overtake me until I can
blue.
hardly breathe in the much needed air.
We don’t have to say much to understand each
Then I hear it. The little girl that just minutes
other’s hearts. The seagulls squawking over a
earlier yelled and cried over her unfair
child’s sandy snack in the distance say what we’re
circumstances was now laughing. Loud and
both thinking. There’s just not enough to go
strong. I turned to see this unexpected sight and
around, is there? Or so it would seem. There are
couldn’t believe my tear-filled eyes. She was
just too many unfulfilled needs to be met. Too
playing a game with the selfish birds. Teasing
many broken hearts to be mended. Too many
them with her food then snatching it away when
desperately lost to be saved.
they swarmed too close. And it hit me like a wet towel against the back.
The child screams at the pesky birds to leave her alone. She chases after them until they realize that
Nothing can take away our joy. Life may try to
the fight for her crackers is just not worth it. The
steal our conditional happiness. It may try to
salty goodness only satisfies them if they have to
sneak off with pieces of our dreams in it’s beak.
steal it. Stolen goods. That’s what this life is all
But it really all comes down to what we’re willing
PAGE 5
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
to let the ravenous glutton take. Because joy
Harmony Vuycankiat is a proud Air Force wife and
depends on the great God inside of us, not on our
blessed mother of 4 children. Her heart’s cry is to
ever-changing circumstances.
love without limits and live without regrets. She plans to use her criminal justice degree to
I look at my sweet sister. She’s watching the
tangibly help marginalized women and children
harmonious scene unfold in front of her. And she
all over the world. Writing, singing, and running
sees it too. This joy that becomes the strength to
are her methods of soul therapy and Starbucks
fight off the unwarranted attacks. This joy that
coffee is her happy juice. She blogs at My
keeps the hungry beasts of anger and
Wandering Heartsong.
discouragement This joy that comes from knowing the Healer of bones and hearts. And she smiles as the sun sets on the crystal clear horizon. I reach across the sandy floor and take her hand in mine. Together, we laugh in the face of fear. Together, we choose joy.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 6
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
LIFE LESSONS FROM OUR DOGS SHILPA GARG Last week, KG and his team were relaxing after the
Let go and move on: Despite the reprimands our
hard day’s work at our farm. Suddenly, they heard
dogs get for polishing off the dinner that lay
loud and incessant barking of our three dogs,
unattended for a while at the farm, or for biting /
Copper and Carbon (Dobermans) and Nickel (Grey
terrorizing some people … they never hold a
Mastiff). KG saw them barking and moving
grudge or harbour resentment. They forgive and
around something in a circle from far. He realized
forget easily and move on and are back to their
that something was amiss. He rushed towards
loving self pretty soon.
them. Seeing him come near them, Nickel ran towards KG and stopped him midway. KG tried to
Show love in big and small ways : From laying
move ahead but our big boy wouldn’t just let him
their heads on our laps when we are sitting or
take even a step further. It took a moment for KG
never leaving KG’s side at night to barking wildly
to understand what it was all about. There was a
and jumping up and down when we meet them
black cobra on the farm. Soon, it was guided to
after a while, our dogs let us know we are loved
move further ahead into the wilderness. This
every single day.
incident made us learn a very important lesson that day. And the more we reflected on it, the more we realized that there are so many life lessons we can learn from our four-legged friends. Sharing a few of the life lessons from our dogs… Protect your territory : A stranger /first timer on our farm has a tough time entering our premises, thanks to our three canines. They are fiercely protective. They’ll fight anything to save us from any danger.
PAGE 7
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
Be understanding : The other day, a major
Enjoy the simple pleasures in life : Life is fun for
sandstorm caused quite a havoc at the farm. As
our dogs. They greet each day with enthusiasm
KG and his team huddled together and waited for
and a sunny outlook. They can play with a log of
the storm to pass, the three of them sensed the
wood with equal zeal as with a chew toy bought
mood and the low energy around. Without any
from a pet store. The way they attack food with
verbal language, they understood and comforted
gusto and lick their plates clean makes me wonder
KG and sat close to him. They know the power and
if we are feeding them right. A ride in the car is as
importance of ‘being there’ for somebody.
fun as is the ride in the lorry truck. Taking naps and stretching is important for them. No joy is too
Sizes and titles aren’t everything : Copper and
small for them to appreciate.
Carbon are siblings and are with us since they were a few months old. Nickel came on our farm
Our dogs have enriched our lives, but even more
just by chance. His earlier master could not take
so, they have taught us some of the greatest life
care of him, and requested KG to take him in on
lessons.
the farm. Carbon and Copper were babies and acted like a team in front of the old, giant and imposing sized, Nickel. But they just took a day to get acquainted with each other and learnt to live peacefully and happily together. Be loyal and dependable : When Nickel joined us, he was sick and weak and had a big wound too. KG took great care of him and by the grace of God, Nickel recovered pretty soon. A dog knows what and who is important in his life and sticks by them, no matter what! Love unconditionally : Nickel drools and slobbers a lot. His saliva is so slimy that it takes some effort to wash it off. A cleanliness freak like me hates his sticky mess. How much so ever I try to thwart his attempts, he’d always greet me with his big wet (and sticky) kisses and wagging of his tail. He is never afraid to show how much he loves despite me being mean to him.
Shilpa Garg is a blogger from the Pink City of India who is passionate about the written words, sweets and beautiful conversations that happen over a mug of tea. She loves writing micro fiction, book reviews and general observations of life, things and circumstances on her blog, A rose is a rose is a rose!
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 8
ON BROKEN TRUST AND REBUILDING FAITH SANCHANA VENKATESH Once bitten, twice shy. A common proverb we
This was where I was well and truly out of my
may have all heard of when we were younger. It
comfort zone. I was a daggy girl from the suburbs
was one I heard of too when I was going through a
studying in South Bombay in a ‘cool’ college. It was
nerdy phase of checking out proverbs. Back then,
daunting. But I found my people. Some were ‘cool’,
however, the enormity of it didn’t hit me. Back
others a bit like me. There was a girl I met from
then, I viewed it as something simplistic such as
another city and we bonded reasonably well in
being bitten by a dog and learning to stay away
11th grade. Or so I thought. As I trusted her, I
from that dog.
soon learnt she was using me. My dad, who never interfered with my friendships, was the first to
As time went on, I learnt more about this proverb
mistrust her.
the hard way. Through my primary school years, I was as trusting as they come. I was open and
When she was in trouble, she’d call me. At all
honest, made friends with ease, and thought I was
hours of the night or day. If she needed
generally easy-going. However, it was only upon
something, I was her go-to person. But, if she was
looking back, I realised a lot of people had taken
having fun, if she had the ‘cool’ people paying
advantage of me. Had used me. In fact, when I left
attention to her, she dropped me like a hot
my primary school in Oman after the 5th
potato. This continued into our undergraduate
standard, only three people regularly kept in
years where, even though we weren’t planning on
contact. This was of course, back in the day
the same major, we had two subjects in common.
without social media and letter-writing was the
If I rang her because I was struggling, she’d cut the
main form of communication. Three people kept
call short. She’d cancel on me if we organised
in touch. Only two continued till years later.
events. Naïve me, put up with this for a while. Until in my final year, when I no longer had classes
That experience didn’t really deter me from
with her, I saw her true colours. She told me there
trusting people completely. After all, we were nine
was a guy she knew who was interested in me and
years old. People grow, people change. In high
made me wait with her once after college. Three
school, in India, I had a few close friends and
hours later, he was a no-show. She didn’t seem to
thankfully, till date, we are in touch. Maybe not as
care. Till date, I don’t know if she just lied to me
often, but they haven’t let me down. My biggest
because I never heard from said guy.
lessons though, came in college.
PAGE 9
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
As time has gone on, I have become a little less
I yearn to connect just like all of us. And in order
trusting. I’ve been bitten badly once before. But
to make good connections, we need to be
you know what? As human beings, we have to
vulnerable. We need to show our flaws and
trust. We have to open up. We have to take that
imperfections. It’s one of the things Brene Brown
risk to build connections. And so I do. Time and
found in her research. Those people who are
again. And time and again, I get let down. I get
wholehearted, who are connected, they are the
hurt. In some cases, it has been being excluded by
ones who are vulnerable. They are the ones who
a group of people for a reason I still cannot
understand the risks involved.
fathom. In another one, more recently, it’s been being let down seriously by a close friend in the
While it doesn’t mean being vulnerable to every
form of rejection.
person, it does mean needing to do so with those we want to make connections. It’s trusting again
Each time, it hurts. Each time I’m bitten, I break a
and having faith. But maybe, it’s also accepting the
little on the inside. I vow not to trust again. Not to
people might hurt you. People might let you
let myself get hurt like this again. And yet, every
down. And that it’s still okay because it doesn’t
time someone reaches out to make a connection,
make you a lesser person. If there’s one thing I’m
no matter how small, I trust again. I let myself
learning, people excluding you, rejecting you or
become vulnerable again.
using you says a lot more about them than it does about you. So it’s time to put a bandage on those wounds and pick myself up and start to trust again. Start to connect again. I may have been bitten, but while I will be cautious, I will try not to be too shy.
Sanchana is a writer, word nerd, bibliophile, and adventurer. She enjoys starting her days with coffee and exercise and ending it with a glass of red wine. She lives in Sydney with her two cats Pebbles and Buttons. You can find her writing on Sanch Writes.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 10
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
5 LIFE LESSONS THAT BLOGGING TEACHES US TINA BASU
My blogging journey started while I was in college.
Make yourself Happy
But in 2007 you were still in the era of Orkut,
In this life you can’t please everyone. Period. Since
Myspace!
childhood you are trying to please your parents, friends, teachers, partners, bosses – but the reality
It was much later when I joined work that blogging
is you should first please yourself! You can write
became a hobby and now a passion. Admit it, we
what you want, real posts, real experiences, you can
all have certain things which we want to get off
go absolutely crazy – it’s your voice, your opinion.
our chest. But you might not be able to discuss
This is one place where you are completely free and
that with your family and friends.
you don’t want to win anyone’s approval. You can be fearless.
But is it all knowledge sharing, hobby or networking? Think again, there’s a lot to learn from your blogging experience, sometimes a whole new side of you. You may discover a hidden talent Were you born to do only coding? Is marketing or sales your only plus points? Do you think, it’s quite late in life to discover and nurture a hidden talent? Unless you give yourself a chance you might not even know that you are a master chef in your world, or are a pro at crafts. I had a love for reading and writing which I had lost long back. Once I started blogging, I started enjoying writing, like a whole lot. Today I have been published in three anthologies and have a freaking Goodreads Author Page! If I had not started writing fiction for my blog, I would have never realized I had it in me to write a romance story or a sci-fi thriller!
Never Take Things Easy You can make yourself happy by writing your heart out, but blogging isn’t for the sloth in you. I have been slothing on and off and I see it affect my blogs. If you are taking up blogging seriously then you will find yourself taking research seriously – checking on facts before you put it up on your post. You will also find yourself brushing up your grammar and vocabulary. The more you write the better you get and these are not to be
PAGE 11
LIFE LESSONS
taken lightly. When you are doing something it’s better to put your best foot forward. Don’t sell yourself Lot of blogs are PR friendly blogs where bloggers earn in cash or kind in exchange of reviews, previews, sponsored posts etc etc. But I’ll tell you something, you don’t necessarily need to be all sugar lips for everything. An honest review is far more powerful than being goodie two shoes. If you don’t like a movie or a book be frank with that. If you don’t like a service or a product say that instead of writing a false review. Truth wins always. I had given some constructive feedback to an author sometime in 2013, because I found the narrative confusing. I received a mail from him few days back with a re-release of his work keeping in mind the feedback I had given. That means a lot – both ways. DO NOT Compare yourself This is a life lesson which is important in your day to day life as well. Blogging is something that you do as a hobby or passion and even profession for some. We already have enough competition everywhere. But when you start comparing yourself with other bloggers – how they are making millions, how cool their blog is, how they are writing for brands etc etc you are losing what you are. You know what you are doing, you know what your talent is – improve that, excel in that – than trying to do everything what someone else is doing will take you nowhere! You are best – believe in that!
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
Tina Basu is the founder and editor at TinaBasu The Lifestyle blog and Twinkling Tina Cooks - The Food Blog. She is a published author and a food enthusiast. This ex-corporate girl is now being a supermom to a little dude.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 12
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
4 LIFE LESSONS I LEARNT FROM MY CAT MODERN GYPSY
Translated to us humans : Just do it! Don’t think. The more you think, the more reasons you can give yourself to not do something to break out of your comfort zone. Act and trust in the universe, things will almost always work out — 99.99% of the time! 2. Want something? Be cute : One of Pepo’s favorite things to do is to go out on to the balcony and drink water or sit on the ledge and watch the world go by. Since she’s a house cat, these excursions are under supervision. So, once we are back from work, her first request, nay demand, is to be taken out. The best way to get her demand met? Be cute! That’s Pepo, my adorable furry friend. She adopted us on 15 July 2009, and has been
Translated to us humans: When you want to be
a constant source of entertainment for us ever
recognized for the work you do, you need to move
since. In addition to entertaining us, she also
out of the mindset of letting your work speak for
strives to teach us mere humans some lessons,
yourself — you need to focus on building strong
cat style!
relationships with your managers. It doesn’t mean you have to suck up to them, but small talk, going
1. Act first, think later: Pepo’s a house cat, which
along with their plans, and problem solving as
means she spends hours watching birds through
much as possible wouldn’t hurt.
the window. In this photograph, she’s clambered up onto the top of the window, near the ceiling,
3. When I’m playing football, I’m Ronaldo! : Yes,
and after having her fill of bird watching, is looking
Pepo plays football…with balled up paper…and
for a way back down. She knows one of us will
when she’s playing, she’s Christiano Ronaldo
come get her!
incarnate! Focused, quick, nothing but the game matters – not food, not going out, nothing!
PAGE 13
LIFE LESSONS
Translated to us humans : Focus, hard work and perseverance will help you achieve any goal. The best way I’ve found to stick with it: write your goals, break them into baby steps, reward yourself for every milestone achieved, don’t beat yourself up for missing a target – analyze what went wrong, fix it, and go for it again! 4. Sleep above all else : The amount of time Pepo spends sleeping can leave you amazed! On weekends, she sleeps, eats, plays, sleeps, plays, sleeps…you get the drift, right? Translated to us humans : (1) You need downtime baby! There’s no way you can go on and on and on, working, running the house, looking after everyone else before yourself. Make some “me time” — meditate, go get a manicure, watch a movie or grab lunch with a friend…something, anything, that is only for you! (2) There may be times when we wish we had 48 hrs in a day, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon — can you imagine a 16 hr work day? Yuck! The best way to be productive — plan, focus, and ensure you get adequate shut eye, or your body’s going to rebel on you, and then you won’t be able to get anything done! Has your furry friend taught you any life lessons?
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
Modern Gypsy is an avid art journaler, mixed media artist, writer, photographer, digital artographer and soul cartographer. Follow her wanderings on her blog, modern gypsy.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 14
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
20 THINGS YOU'LL LEARN IN YOUR 20'S! RADHIKA MUNDRA
"The time in your twenties is a chance to really pursue your dreams. You have no obligations, you can work 24/7 and you have nothing to lose." It's been a year since I entered my twenties and this whole change in the decade of my age has brought so many things to my attention that I could gleefully ignore earlier. Sharing some life lessons that I've learned and some that I'm yet to learn: 1. Money : Start earning for yourself or minimize your expenses. You should know that the money in your pockets is borrowed (unless of course you've started earning even before you entered this decade!). Pay your bills yourself and see how it changes all the things as well as people around you! The moment you are financially free, there is nothing that can stop your life from being awesome. That moment when you count your hard-earned money, it feels like heaven, I assure you. 2. Responsibility : What is freedom? “Freedom is the will to be responsible to ourselves� said Friedrich Nietzsche and it couldn't have been explained better. Your life is your responsibility
and it includes the decisions made for you which you easily assented to. There neither is anyone nor there will be anyone to blame for the choices you make, so choose wisely. 3. Career: The most important choice you will ever make is that of the field you'll devote the half of your life to. Instead of following the mainstream stereotypes, explore your options, your capabilities. Push yourself beyond the limit and see how you'll find the perfect career in no time. The process would take time and resources but would be worth it in the end. If you take a job even after knowing the fact that the job you just took isn't the place you want to be, you'll not only waste a significant amount of your time but also waste your talent. A place that offers lesser money but the job you love would not
PAGE 15
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
only be a boon to your career but also to your
7. Friendships : Friendship is sacred. Your
talent. Yes, the money would be less initially but as
relationship with thousands of humans whom you
you'll grow, the world will be yours to conquer.
are virtually connected with isn't friendship. Don't call them friends just because Facebook does.
4. Time : Time and tide wait for none, don't waste
You don't have the time or emotional space to
it all just to have fun. Invest your time in the right
deal with people who drain you of time or
things and see how it'll reward you with surprises
happiness without restoring it. Do away with the
unheard of. Get your lazy butt off the bed and
negativity in your life and cherish the people who
make the most of every second that passes. You
make sure that you smile all the time.
never know which would be your last so make sure that you make a mark, that you leave the
8. Future : This is the time you should be
traces of your existence. Time is precious, waste it
investing in your future. Not just visualize but
wisely!
achieve the dreams that have been in your mind and heart for so long. Don't let your past play
5. Health : Growing up infuses so much energy
tricks on you. No denying the fact that the future
and excitement in you that you ignore altogether
will be confusing, uncertain, unpredictable but
the shape your body has dwelled itself into. And
what fun would life be if you knew what's gonna
by the time you realize it, you'll be too old to do
happen next! So, accept the past, live in the
anything about it. Exercise and take care of your
present and embrace the future with open arms.
body while you are young so that you can stay alive to tell the tales of the way you rocked the
9. Failure : Failure is the most important
world in your youth when the old age strikes.
ingredient of success. Don't deny it. Don't hide.
Smoking, drinking, drugs, and tobacco, etc are
Accept and attack for victory. Remember that to
some things that make sure you die earlier than
taste failure in the early days is better than to
fate had planned. You should resort to such ideas
recognize its bitterness when you are high on
of fun only when you've got a dare to end your life
success......
before predicted by the strokes on your hand.
To read the rest go to my post..............
6. Family : Family comes first, whatever happens. The person you have been in love with
Radhika Mundra is the founder of Expressing Life,
(relationships, not one-sided love) is also family, so
a multi-niche blog and an intense storyteller. In
don't just leave them mid-way in the name of the
her early twenties, she is a commerce graduate
family. And hey, if they don't seem to be family,
and a Chartered Accountancy finalist by
you haven't been in love. Your family is the only
profession and a writer by heart.
bunch of human beings in this whole wide world who would never give up on you and will hold your back in the worst of times.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 16
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
DEAR BLOG RAMYA RAO Dear Blog,
I know you will listen to everything without saying:
You have always seen the best and the worst of
1. "Just manage for few more months." Well, I would
me. I am constantly in a rut of self-criticism,
have if I could. Wouldn't I?
pondering on what I may have done wrong. Could I have done something that would make my life
2. "You talk like you have lost it!" Oh, do I? Sorry, my
probably better or was there no option after all.
bad I even told you. Because you lost me.
My heart is heavy and needs a companion. There
3. "It's okay. Things will be fine." No, it’s not okay. I
is nobody better than you. My parents have been
have tried and waited for too long for things to be
my greatest support system, but a few things still
okay.
remain unsettled. To no particular problem in life but in general, these There was a burden and a feeling of guilt of having
are the reactions that people have given me. Distant
let people down. Probably I am guilty of letting
relatives to close friends. It is life, not a small scratch
myself down. I didn’t want to think about it
or injury that will go away in some time or will heal.
because it was like a wound under the bandage, I
When scars are too deep, the time it takes is
don’t really know if it had healed yet. So, blaming
tremendous and all reasoning seems absurd.
others seemed a better option. I became the grumpiest version of me, finding fault in everything and seeing only the bad in every beautiful thing. Lately, I have realized, that it is me and only me who can reduce the burden. Blaming can bring no good. It only brings the worst out in people. But you being my humble abode, my heart wants to let out all the negativity that is inside me. Like decluttering myself from all the bad emotions.
PAGE 17
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
Somewhere deep, I feel, it is my fault that I shared
Ramya Rao is an engineer by profession and a
the load with people who couldn’t get it or did not
blogger by passion. A wordsmith, traveler,
want to, and although I knew most of the people
bibliophile and photographer. ANature lover and
did not care about others problems and they
a girl all set to explore the world. who says her
would judge me instead of helping me find a
writing resides in her heart.
solution I still ranted because at the end it felt good, like the burden was off my head, but only to return back in a while. So many ask me why it that I am grumbling. I am well-off. I have a good and respectable job, supportive parents, a monkey brother, good bunch of friends, and a good set of hobbies and popular (probably). I maybe living someone’s dream. But this is not my dream. There is a demon inside me that wants to pursue my dream, not work on someone else’s dream or be someone else’s dream. . This demon has tried to take shape and express itself but often people don’t understand. In the race to being economically independent the dreams we have or at once we dreamt are lost. I have been watching a lot of TED talks and reading a plethora of articles on finding out what my passion is so that pursuing it would feed the demon inside.
To read the rest, go to my post ........
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 18
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
10 LIFE LESSONS I LEARNED FROM MY FATHER MAHATHI RAMYA
Usually, for a girl child, her father is dearer than mom. This might be because Dad pampers you whenever Mom scolds you. I think, most girls accept the fact that they are daddy's child until they're teenagers. Then girls realize the importance of their mother They understand her better at this stage or when they become mothers themselves. I'm happy to list the top ten life lessons I've learned from my father. 1. Dedication to work I haven't seen any other employee who is as dedicated to work as him. He feels he should do justice for every rupee of his salary. 2. Loving unconditionally He loves his family unconditionally. He never laid out strict rules at our home, always made us learn good habits by teaching with patience. 3. Silence and patience help in difficult situations I never saw him shout at us in anger. He takes up silence, thinks calmly before taking any action.He never lets his anger out and hurt others.
4. Preserve culture and traditional arts He likes and respects our culture, arts etc., He encouraged us to learn art forms like dance, music, painting and wants us to pass on these to the next generation. 5. Educate children on basics and mother tongue He never believed on sending us for tuition for studies. He taught us the basics of Telugu, Hindi, and English. He used to make us solve crossword puzzles, maths puzzles, used to encourage us to participate in essay writing competitions and debates.
PAGE 19
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
6. Planning budget for every month
Mahathi Ramya calls herself a fun loving woman
He used to prepare a budget plan every month to
who loves books, classical music, painting and
track the expenses. He was not a miser at all, but he
travelling. A classical dancer who likes the quote
says this is a good habit to know the expenses that
'Dance like no one is watching'. Her blog is called
we can cut off and save for bad times.
Fantastic Feathers.
7. Health is mightier than wealth He takes care of his own and family's health, encourages us to eat all kinds of fruits and vegetables. He doesn't have one bad habit and walks a lot regularly. 8. Do whatever you can, and then only pray to God for help My father always believes that we should work hard and then only ask for God's help. We shouldn't simply pray to God without working at anything. 9. Donate/ help but don't publicize We should help needy people, but shouldn't expect anything in return or publicize before others about our mighty deed. My father doesn't encourage beggars, but he would prefer to provide them some food instead of throwing them a few coins. 10. Trust your family He trusts us more than anything in the world. He believes that we follow the right path and cannot prove him wrong.. and that's how we are :) These are a few lessons that I think, I learned from my dad.. There might be many qualities that I haven't recognized yet.. Let's see.. there is more time to learn from a wonderful Dad.
LIFE LESSONS
PAG 20
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
RICHER THAN THE RICH DARSHANA SURESH
"Why do you look upset dear?" the voice was heavy
"A-are you here to take me too??" she stammered. The
with concern. The little girl in rags looked up at the
lady found this reaction to be quite strange. She knelt
tall lady standing before her. She had tight jeans
down and touched her hand, "I'm here to help."
and a sleeveless tee on with a pair of sunglasses that matched with her outfit. A beaded bag with a
The girl sprang back in horror. No stranger had ever
slightly torn zipper hung over her shoulder.
come close to her, much less touch her! "What do you
"What's the matter?" she asked again.
want?" she cried, "Dada's missing! They took him! I know they did! I won't let you take me too!" The lady knew now
The little girl took a few steps back, clutching a
that she needed help. "Who took your Dada?" she asked
poker in her hand. She couldn't understand why
patiently, " We'll find him together." The little girl only
this strange lady was talking to her. "Do you need
looked on with great suspicion.
something fixed?" she asked the lady, shooting furtive glances behind her at the same time. It was
Then, quite hesitantly, she began to speak up, "They
only then that the lady noticed the few torn shoes
came here the other day, telling us not to work anymore.
and bags at her feet along with some repairing
They told us to beg instead. They said, that way, they'd
tools. Fumbling through her beaded bag, she
make us rich!"
dished out some cash and handed it out to her, only to find the little girl shaking her head. "Do you
The lady was surprised to find a look of disgust on her
need something fixed?" she repeated, still with
face, "Don't you want to be rich?" she asked. The girl
worried glances across the road.
shook her head, "Never! I know how rich people are. Dada told me about them. They are cruel people.
The lady stared at this shabby kid who must be all
They like money more than their dadas, I would never be
of eight years old, living in the roadside, and
like them!"
refusing money. "Are you expecting someone?" she asked her, following her anxious glances. The
"Did your Dada go with them then?" asked the lady.
girl looked suddenly frightened as her eyes darted
"No way! Dada would never beg! He refused, and they
back to the stranger.
started fighting. Dada went away today morning and hasn't returned yet! They must have taken him!"
PAGE 21
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
The lady went closer to her, trying to reassure the lost soul. The sun was beginning to vanish, and she wished she had a pack of biscuits to give this girl - for she probably hadn't eaten all day. Just as she was contemplating to take the girl to the nearest shop, there was a quick, fierce movement behind her. And before she knew it, a young boy had yanked the little girl away from the woman. He looked barely sixteen, and was as shabbily dressed as the girl was. "Dada!" squealed the little girl with a tone mixed with joy and relief. But the boy did not seem pleased. "I told you to stay away from such people didn't I?" he scolded. His sister was shaking her head, "NoDada. Don't worry. She isn't rich, she was very kind to me." The boy eyed the well-dressed, posh woman with some caution. His scrutiny was disturbed by a tug of his shirt, "Did they hit you Dada? What happened?!" He turned away from the intruder and gave the little girl a huge smile. "Nobody hit me Munni! Dada found
As he set to work, his sister sat down next to him,
a job! And soon you will go back to school!"
smiling as if she was the happiest person on earth.
Little Munni was jubilant as she leaped over to hug
The woman looked at her beaded bag that cost more
her brother.
than what the kids earned in a day. Yet, the smiles on their faces was something she was unable to buy
The woman watched the celebration in silence,
for herself. She knew then, that they were truly
holding the few currency notes that had failed to
richer than the rich.
soothe the little girl. Her own life hadn't treated her well, and she wished she could trade her money for someone who genuinely cared for her like Dada did his sister. He'd noticed that the lady hadn't left. "Can I help you?" he asked. She felt guilty for not being the one asking the same to them. Taking out the beaded bag with the torn zipper, she said "I need this fixed." The boy nodded and took the bag.
Darshana Suresh aka Dashy is the youngest member of Write Tribe. You can find the her writing at Wandering Wows.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 22
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
LESSONS FROM THE RIO OLYMPICS PARUL KASHYAP THAKUR
When I was growing up, Olympics and sports were
Always finish the game: In those 100/200 meters or
limited to the general knowledge quizzes I was
steeplechase runs, the runners knew that they were not
made to participate. Beyond a few questions and
making it to the finish line. Still, they ran. They ran to
the latest news items, I never needed more. Not
finish the game. Winning or losing is not the end, it is
that it was a girls’ thing but physical activity
completing what you take up in life. It is following
was never an area of interest in my world. A couple
through your commitment and participating to the best
of smashes on the badminton court or stacking the
of your ability. Before you give up, look back at the
tiles to an even seven was all I could do. When the
efforts and time you have put in. Finishing what you take
rebel teenager in me put her foot down, my Mum
up will always emerge above quitting.
asked a neighbor to teach me dance and yoga. And that clicked. For two years.
Celebrate wins: If you win, someone else will lose. That’s how it is and is meant to be. Beyond the person, it
Watching Olympics or a cricket match came much
is the effort that deserves accolades. This Olympics, I
later in life. The interest spiked slowly and it was
saw rivals come together to hug and congratulate each
then I realized what all I had missed. A new world
other. I saw how taking care of each other is equally
opened up but the acceptance was slow. It took
important to get the ball rolling. The sportsmanship
time but a science lover developed a liking for
needs to be celebrated and as a team whether from one
sports. It was like love in those moments of
country or not, players celebrated wins.
tension, the pressure of the impending goal and then the disappointment in a lost game. I am still on that trajectory. I still would not leave a book to watch a game but this Olympics brought out a different me. From blocking my calendar to watch a game to being upset when my favorite player lost, this time, I enjoyed all that came along with those moments of action on the idiot box. There were also a couple of lessons that will stay with me. Some that better be documented for me to read in moments of self-doubt.
PAGE23
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
Give your best every time: It is possible that you
of determination is the most important element of
lose when you start but that should not stop you
success.
from delivering your best the next time, or the next time or the next time. The only way to be content is
The value of a Coach: As I watched Pullela
to keep giving your best, always. In all situations and
Gopichand support his protegés, I felt proud of being
tough circumstances without losing hope or
teachers’ daughter. She is one who never loses
face.When success comes, it does not time itself. The
patience but encourages and support. One who can
last couple of seconds could make all the difference
calm the nerves and still get the best out of her
so give your best.
protegé. One whose passion shines on the face of the taught. Throughout the Olympics, many coaches
A win means a contribution from many: When a
sat holding their breath. They smiled at a hit and did
wrestler wins, it may seem that the flip got the
not lose hope on a miss.
points but never forget the effort of the coach who taught the flip. There is a father who dropped this
Dream: Only those who dream can see a dream
young wrestler to her sports academy for practice. A
come true real. So dream and work towards it.
mother who challenged all stereotypes to support her daughter’s dream. A win is a collaboration and a
As I think of many more lessons I have learnt this
partnership. While there is one who delivers and
Olympics, I feel good that these lessons have come
takes away the medal, there are many others who
at a right point in life. There are no games to be
make it possible.
played now but these lessons will be remembered as I cruise through my life. As I balance work, blogging
Never be scared: A Produnova is the hardest vault
and taking care of my loved ones, these lessons will
performed in women’s artistic gymnastics. But if a
not let me give up. They will give me the courage to
player fears it, she will never attempt it. You have to
finish the game and value those who were a part of
beat the fear to go far. You have to challenge the
the journey.
status quo to shine. She may still fail but that’s not the point. Success comes to those who are persistent and fear limits us to reach our potential. Set goals: Four years and so many players set goals to grab the shining gold medal. But is that enough? A medal needs grit and determination. Willingness to work hard and give it a hundred percent. Sometimes physical injuries, lack of facilities and support comes in between but for a player, nothing should deter her. It’s not easy but that level
Parul Thakur is a full-time HR professional during the day and blogger after calls in the night. A working homemaker who hates cleaning and can hardly cook. A family photographer and life lover. She blogs at Happiness and Food.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 24
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
THIIS THING CALLED LIFE VINEETA DILEEP
Life is a funny business, isn’t it? So long as we are
Because we want to see past this too. Because hard it
not faced with any obstacles, we fail to realize how
might be, but we do have the power to get past this too.
truly blessed and happy we were. If till then all we
And we hold on.
could see was what was lacking in our lives, once it turns upside down, we tend to think how good it
Sometimes I wonder, am I ready to trade the
was before. Appreciation pours in for what had lost
imperfections in my life to make it smooth and clean like
and we would see how silly it was to yearn for what
a freshly laundered and ironed linen, wrinkle-free and
wasn’t there.
perfect! Never! These imperfections are imprints from different moments of our lives without which our
The problems we face make us strong, of course.
identity is lost into the oblivion. These imperfections are
But where do we draw this energy to deal with the
the source my energy, sometimes my happiness too.
problems? I believe that it’s from the willingness to get past the hurdles and move forward. That never
Yes, life is funny that way. It is never gonna be perfect,
dying determination forces us to face, fight and
but perfect isn’t what makes our life perfect!
move ahead. There were times I lived only because of the constant presence of this determination. Today I can’t even imagine how thankful I am for that. Once we are past that difficult phase there will be a sigh of relief. At times when I look back, I wonder how the hell did I manage to pull that off! It’s true, until we face the demons we never realize the power that lies within us! Does that mean life is perfect now? No way! There are times, moments, and days where we struggle
Vinitha Dileep is an ex-Software engineer turned
with our problems, big and small. We feel
SAHM with a love for words. You can read her affair
exhausted and rejected. We question why life is
with words at Void Thoughts and Reflections.
such a struggle. We lose patience. But we hold on.
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 25
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
I AM ENOUGH ESHA MOOKERJEE DUTTA Show me someone who hasn’t been plagued with
mother, powerless against problems that were
self-doubt sometime or the other? Many go
overwhelming, to say the least.
through a lifetime of struggle in order to find their true worth. Often, ‘enough’ is never enough and
Earlier, I had only had fleeting moments when I doubted
they keep chasing the external successes hoping
my capabilities—but now, I had no doubts that I was in
that the internal feelings of self-acceptance will
no way ‘enough’! It was around that time that I came
follow. Unfortunately, it doesn’t.
across the well-known English psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott’s picture of the “good enough” mother who was
So, why is it that we feel obliged to ourselves for
a three-dimensional human being – a mother who was
having to earn our self-worth? Some might run
under pressure and strain, full of ambivalence about
after that fat pay cheque or an expensive home;
herself, both selfless and self-interested. One who was
for others, it might be a much-sought-after
capable of great dedication yet was also prone to
promotion or losing weight – whatever it is, there is
resentment at times, which was only natural, if you’re
something elusive that lies beyond our present,
overwhelmed with too many issues to handle. She was
where we have to reach, before finally knowing
not boundless. She was real.
that we’re enough! It took me some time to digest what was going on around When we relocated almost nine years ago, I was on
me. But Winnicott was a god-send! What I realized, over
the brink of collapsing, as I struggled to juggle
time, was that I had been measuring “enough” in all the
home, freelance work, and a demanding three-
wrong ways. Enough isn’t about what I do or don’t do,
year-old child. Almost overnight, we found
what I say or don’t say, or even who I appear to be; being
ourselves in a totally different environment with a
‘enough’ is simple –it’s about who we are. This knowledge,
very different way of life. As a mother, more than
in itself, was life-saving and life-affirming for me. It freed
anything else, I found myself inadequate, having to
me from the bondage of my inner perfectionist and
look after a child who was an extremely fussy
allowed me to make room for my imperfections as a way
eater, prone to falling ill all too often, and who was
of coping with the crises in my life. It was easy to accept
now beginning to show signs of behavioural issues
one is ‘good enough’. It made me realise that support was
that were beyond my capacity to handle. I was
a key ingredient to shift from not feeling like you are
eager to start full-time work but the situation at
enough, to knowing you are.
home made it impossible to do so. It was one of the most stressful periods of my life and I was constantly doubting my own capabilities as a
Each moment I loved my child, I was enough. Each day
PAGE26
LIFE LESSONS
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
that I woke up, went about my daily tasks and took
I love Eckhart Tolle’s suggestion that we must detach
care of my family, I was enough. On the odd days
from our ego and focus on our essence —our true self.
when I didn’t feel up to it, and gave in to feeling
That’s when we can realise that we are already perfect,
inadequate, I had to keep affirming this truth, over
lovable and enough just the way we are.
and over again.
I started by forgiving myself if I made a mistake, and celebrated when I tried. I chose to be kind and love
Notwithstanding occasional screw-ups and misfires
myself, even when I handled a situation poorly. When I
– I now found it easy to accept myself more openly
started to shift my thoughts, I started to see my life
with all my flaws and could see how that was going
transform. I looked within for love, support, and
to help my child to develop a sense of self and the
acceptance. When I started to see myself as worthy, I
ability to understand and forgive himself and
found situations, jobs, and relationships that
others. It is fine to struggle, and this struggle
empowered me.
doesn’t take one away from being inherently normal or enough. It’s part of our humanity.
‘I am enough’ – These three words are simple enough,
Dealing with stress, depression, anxiety, self-
but the meaning is very often dismissed. If people insist
esteem problems and relationship issues are
we need to attain that status, ignore them. We
normal life issues that we all face as part of the
are enough just the way we are. Each one of us is unique
human condition. We are not crazy or bad or
and that alone sets us apart from everyone else. We
inadequate. We are only human.
need to accept that and embrace it. Let no one’s opinions or words make us question our self-worth. On
It helped me realise that even when we are feeling
certain days, when we tend to question who we are, let
overwhelmed, irrational, confused and emotional,
us know that we are enough, no matter what!
we are still normal and ‘enough’. We are all works in progress and nobody is perfect.
Trying to be what others want us to be is one of the most tiring experiences. Being ourselves requires far
Our problems in feeling inadequate often lie in the
less work. It helps us find our voice. In the end, we do
fact that we over-identify with the externals in our
not need to be with anyone to find the other “half” to
lives — our looks, our clothes, our homes, our job
make us whole. We already are. We are enough!
titles, our education, our relationship status, our bank balance, etc. Focusing on these externals is a recipe for feelings of perpetual inadequacy as perfection is unattainable and sometimes enough is never enough, because of the constant comparisons with another.
A lifelong learner is how Esha Mookerjee Dutta describes herself. She enjoys gliding through life in all its craziness and chaos and curating passing thoughts, experiences and memories on the way. Esha also dons the role of a mother, wife, daughter, teacher, trainer, management consultant, writer and of course, a blogger!
LIFE LESSONS
PAGE 27
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
LIFE IS TOO SHORT : LESSONS AT 29 RICHA SINGH Twenty nine. *sits back and watches the number
That life is too short. Not the ideal thought on a birthday.
again*
But this went in constant loops.
Okay so there is no denying it. Especially on a
Life is too short.
birthday night. What? You may now ask. Life is too short to spend on a bad book. That thirty is the new twenty! Obviously. Or so we
Life is too short to wear clothes of someone else’s choice
would like to believe. From now on. Period.
Life is too short to keep only one hairstyle. Life is too short to not wear shorts.
What did I do today? Yes you can ask this as well. I
Life is too short to not bunk classes.
took a very well earned (some of my friends would
Life is too short to not travel.
literally beg to disagree on this) leave from work. I
Life is too short to group travel.
even put an out of office message out there for
Life is too short to not write a book.
today. That is some seriously tricky stuff to pull off.
Life is too short to experiment with food. Period. I will
I spent close to an hour to figure it out.
have my spring rolls and chilly paneer. All the time. Life is too short to not read.
Moving on.
Life is too short to not write. Life is too short to not blog!
What else did I do today? Besides s taking off from
Life is too short to not tweet.
work.
Life is too short to be on facebook all the time. Life is too short to make pinterest work for you.
I wrote a lot. I connected with twitter and blogs I
Life is too short to not try instagram.
like to read. I wrote more. I slept in the sun. I talked
Life is too short to not stare at that hot guy or girl.
to my fishes. I watered my plants. I gazed at the
Married or not.
roof every now and then. I smelled the roses. Ate
Life is too short to not look good.
chocolates. Like to no end.
Life is too short to always look good. Life is too short to keep a handkerchief. Really.
And I thought. That is the one thing I miss the most
Life is too short to not have superstitions.
ever since this ‘lets get all grown up and busy’ thing
Life is too short to not hate people.
has come to pass in life.
Life is too short to not make people hate you. Life is too short to not be ambitious.
What did I finally think?
Life is too short to not procrastinate.
PAGE 28
LIFE LESSONS
Life is too short to not fall in truly madly deeply kind of love. Life is too short to not fall all over again in truly madly deeply kind of love. Life is too short to not love yourself. Life is too short. Ye,s go ahead and count them. They are exactly twenty nine. Go on. Count. One. Two. Three. Anyways. Happy birthday to me! PS: Here's a picture of the lovely couple who started me off in life - my parents! :)
An automobile engineer by profession, Richa Singh is a passionate blogger, who believes very strongly in networking and building online communities. She writes at her website, T;he Philosopher's Stone
WRITE TRIBE MAG #1
My thanks to all the contributors. Our topic for the next issue is Writing Spaces. Stay tuned for that. Meanwhile, do connect with us: Write Tribe Website Follow us on Twitter Like and follow us on Facebook Join our Facebook Group
Keep writing bravely! Corinne Rodrigues