Dealing with rejection

Article and Photographs by Donita Wilegoda Mudalige

Just like Jack Ma (one of China’s richest CEOs) got rejected many times – so will we experience rejections. It is a life phenomenon which is inevitable.

In 2017, I applied for a mentorship program via the university and was hoping I would receive an offer. The mentorship program teams up a WSU student with a prestigious individual in business or government. I really wanted to be mentored by a successful entrepreneur because at the time, I wanted to start a business after I graduate from university. Despite having a lot of hopes, I received an email a few days later stating I was unsuccessful in my application.

For some people, when they are faced with a rejection, they remember the recent rejection along with past rejections! Negativity piling up with negativity. It is such a bad feeling. In that moment, all they see is negativity. Majority of the time, they don’t see reality because they are so immersed in that negative emotion. That’s exactly how I felt in that moment. Because of one rejection, I told myself I am a failure and won’t be accepted for anything else! As you can see, the negative emotions clouded my rationality.

This is not the first time I got rejected for a certain opportunity, but I guess this affected me because I was very hopeful. After some time, I reflected on my experience, and went through a mindset shift. Before, I had a limited mindset, meaning I thought there are scarce opportunities out there for me to take advantage of. I later realised I needed to change my mindset. My previous mindset was preventing me from progressing in my life. Most of the time, I didn’t attempt to grab an opportunity because of the fear of rejection. I thought there is no point me in attempting and thought it was best to save myself from disappointment.

For me to grow as a person, I need to develop an abundance mindset where I understood that opportunities are infinite and that if one door closes, there will always be an open door. Practicing an abundance mindset helped me take advantage of opportunities as well as make smarter decisions.

Another mindset shift that was advantageous to me was, viewing failure as a stepping stone for success. Most people view failure as a negative and end of world situation. Failure is barely known for anything positive, but something to avoid. However, if you really think about it, every success we encountered was built on failed attempts and the mindset of never giving up. To get a high distinction for an assessment, imagine all the “failed” attempts a student undergoes to find the best study method? If we view failure as a stepping stone, it would be easier for us to deal with it and encourage us to keep trying until we become successful in our goal.

Remember the following whenever you are hesitant of doing something advantageous for yourself:

There is an immediate result if you do nothing = nothing! There is an immediate result if you do something = something!

I didn’t let that one rejection in 2017 stop me from progressing forward. In fact, one year after getting rejected from the mentorship program – I accidently started my own design business and was mentored by a successful young entrepreneur in the UK! You never know what is on the other side of failure, stick around and find out what is in store for you.

If we view failure as a steppingstone, it would be easier for us to deal with it and encourage us to keep trying until we become successful in our goal.

Donita at Vesak Celebrations and English Conversation Group.