not so USELESS RAMBLINGS not so USELESS RAMBLINGS Is Today the Day?

from Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa April 2023

Coalitions Rejuvenated

Do you like being lied to? If someone lies to you, do you forgive them? Sure, depending upon the severity of the lie, they can be forgiven. What if they lie to you repeatedly? What about if their lies never stop? What if their lies negatively impact your life? And they keep lying to you even though they’ve been exposed as liars over and over? Do you keep forgiving them or do you remove them from your life completely?

Iwantto cite a piece of information I found online about an organization that I will reference, just to illustrate that it isn’t just some random, unknown, seedy website I stumbled upon. The organization is Cochrane. Cochrane reviews are frequently called the “gold standard” for evidence-based medicine.

Cochrane is a British international charitable organization formed to organize medal research ﬁnding to facilitate evidence based choices about health interventions involving health professional, patients, and policy makers. It includes 53 review groups that are based at research institutions worldwide.

Sowhen Cochrane reviewed the eﬃcacy of face masks when it comes to preventing the spread of COVID-19 and other respiratory diseases, you’d think that their conclusions might hold some weight with governmental agency policies or recommendations. When Cochrane suggests that face masks have little to no eﬀect on the transmission of disease, you’d think that we’d seen the last of the mask mandates. You’d be wrong. We still have people in the government that want mask mandates reinstated on airplanes, in schools, and other public places while they keep pressing forward with the lie that the thin piece of paper-like cloth is going to stop or reduce your chances of contracting COVID. Cochrane has been the most authoritative evidence body in all of medicine and has been for decades; do we just ignore that now because it goes against the government narrative?

The government told you that the vaccines would stop the spread; you would be safe from contracting or spreading COVID. But that also turned out to be a lie. Then they said that the vaccines would reduce the chances of you being in the hospital with COVID because the symptoms would be severely reduced. They also said that the vaccines were 100% safe, but all of the cases documented in VAERS (Vaccine Adverse Event Reporting System) would lead one to believe that this was also a lie.

They want you to believe that myocarditis was more common after being infected with COVID-19, but studies have shown that those that were vaccinated have a 4 to 28 times more chance of developing myocarditis than those people that didn’t take the vaccine. They also pushed the narrative that being vaccinated was much more eﬀective than natural immunity.

You’vebeen told that young people beneﬁt from a booster shot, but the top two FDA vaccine experts resigned in protest over the push for boosting young, healthy people. The data just wasn’t there. It could also be why the CDC never disclosed the hospitalization rates among boosted Americans under the age of 50.

For the record, I am NOT anti-vaccine, I am anti THIS vaccine.

We can’t forget our great Mumbler-in-Chief, Joe Biden, and his constant lies. He’s been in public office for more than 50 years and has spewed lies throughout his entire career. Now he’s the “leader of the free world” and the lies continue. His latest whopper is telling you that he reduced the national debt by $1.7 trillion (he actually said billion, but meant trillion) in just two years. However, if you check with Statista.com, you can see that he’s lying. In 2020 the debt was $26.9 trillion, in 2021 it was $28.4 trillion and in 2022 it’s $30.9 trillion. I can’t seem to find a reduction in those numbers. I could probably fill every page of this magazine with just the lies that Joe Biden has told. Here’s a hint; if Joe Biden says “No Joke”, “You think I’m joking” or something like “not a lie” you can bet your ass that he’s lying.

The Hunter Biden laptop was labeled “Russian disinformation” by every mainstream media outlet or late night talk show host. They even have the infamous 50 former intelligence agents signing a letter stating the same. Hunter and Joe both said it wasn’t even his laptop. Here we are today with Hunter Biden ﬁling lawsuits against people for hacking his laptop and sharing personal information. What’s really amusing is that half of the mainstream media bobble heads are now saying that they never said it was Russian disinformation. I guess they have forgotten that there are digital recordings of them saying exactly that.

WhenDonald Trump said that he had seen evidence that suggested that COVID-19 was caused by a lab leak in Wuhan, he was labeled racist and every other negative term they could come up with. Today the Department of Energy and the FBI have both said that this is the most likely explanation for the origins. But now we have people attacking the DOE, questioning their ability to come to that conclusion, forgetting that the DOE has a branch that specializes in weapons of mass destruction and biological weapons such as viruses. How could they possibly have any experience, right?

Lie after lie after lie, day after day. So when do you get to the point where you’ve had enough? When do you act to remove the liar from your life?

I’mreminded of a 1993 movie starring Michael Douglas titled Falling Down. Some of you probably know the movie. For those that don’t, it’s about William Foster (Douglas) who is divorced, unemployed, and then has a series of really shitty events happen in one day as he is attempting to make it to his daughter’s birthday party. Every new event pushes him further and further towards the edge. Eventually the shitty events culminate in Foster slipping into the abyss.

RecentlyI’ve found an online meme (picture) of Douglas’ character from Falling Down with the words “Is today the day?” written on it. I have found multiple uses for it while I’m using social media. I’ve used it as a simple response to some of these ridiculous stories that continue to come to light with every passing day. Every time one of the many lies is exposed, I wonder “is today the day?”

Taxation without representation. Economic crash. Open borders. Mandates. Our children being manipulated and indoctrinated. Parents being labeled domestic terrorists. Central bank digital currency. Social Credit Scores. Green New Deal. Massive inﬂation. Unemployment. More than $100 billion sent to Ukraine while American citizens watch their 401Ks and Social Security beneﬁts disappear. Five million immigrants released into the US without proper procedures followed and little to no vetting. Fentanyl deaths skyrocketing. And did you know that the Linn-Mar School District (Linn County, Marion area) will help your child set up a transition plan without getting your consent or even bothering to inform you?

You know, I’d had other thoughts on where I was going to go with this month’s piece, but this subject has been weighing really heavily on my mind lately. I needed to vent my frustrations, I suppose. I’m just sick of being lied to. I’m sick of seeing the lies be exposed and nothing ever changing and no one being held accountable. I’m sick of the double standard when it comes to the right vs. the left where one is completely ostracized and the other is completely ignored for the exact same transgressions.

So, is today the day? Is today the day that the liars get removed from our lives? Is today the day when we have had enough of the corruption and double standards? Is today the day when we stand up and take our country back?

“This country, with its institutions, belongs to the people who inhabit it. Whenever they shall grow weary of the existing government, they can exercise their constitutional right of amending it, or exercise their revolutionary right to overthrow it.” – Abraham Lincoln.

David McCoy

david@thunderroadsiowa.com

The Crooked Antler Lodge

107 Main Street

Van Horne, Iowa

319-228-8200

Hours:

Tue -Wed 3 pm-9pm

Thursday- 11 am-9 pm

Fri-Sat 11am-10pm

Have you ever had one of those trips where nothing seems to go right? You just can’t catch a break, nothing goes smoothly? Well, the trip to the Cedar Rapids Swap Meet was shaping up to be that way for Vernon and I. We had every intention of locking up the gun shop and heading East at precisely 1:00 that Saturday to make sure we had plenty of time to grab a bite to eat and still make it to the venue and get set up before they locked the doors for the evening.

We ended up rolling out of Harlan about 45 minutes behind schedule, but no big deal, because Vernon has a bit of a heavy foot, so we could easily make up the time. We arrived at our intended destination for this month’s WRTE article only to find out that they were closed. We disappointedly got back in the truck and proceeded to look for an alternate spot to grab some grub.

The trip Gods were not on our side, as we drove from one end of town to the other with no luck, stopped by a train, construction, the list goes on. Vernon became fed up with the situation, and we were once again back on the highway looking for food. He found an option about 15 minutes up the road that looked promising, so we focused our travels on that, only to find that more road construction had the exit we needed to take closed. By this point, Vernon was not to be foiled by a little road closed barricade, so he proceeded to sneak around and we slid…every so gracefully down the muddy embankment to the other side. Up a few gravel roads and back onto pavement, and we arrived in front of the Crooked Antler Lodge with high hopes and empty stomachs.

The bar and grill is nicely decorated, and definitely resembles a hunting lodge. Our waitress, Bethany, approached us immediately and took our drink orders. We chose to sit at the bar, though there were table options, as well as a separate side for seating away from the bar. The menu was filled with sandwich options, wings, and full-on dinner platters. There was a brisket sandwich special during our visit as well, but we had already focused on pizza before ever arriving at our final destination. We ordered a thin crust meat lovers, as well as an appetizer of white cheddar cheese curds to munch on while waiting for our pie. The curds arrived piping hot and absolutely delicious. Bethany brought us some ranch for dipping and refilled our drinks. We happened to notice that our neighbor at the bar had ordered the brisket special, and damn did it look good as well. We noticed on the signage that the special included something called corn ribs…and seeing them up close made us wonder if we had made the right choice when ordering.

Being the way we are, we decided to just ask our lovely neighbor what the hell a corn rib was exactly. She was very accommodating, and explained that it is a quartered ear of corn, well-seasoned, and then baked or air fried to crisp deliciousness. She then offered us one of her corn ribs from her plate so we could try for ourselves. This was a game changer…delicious is an understatement. This has to be one of the best ways I have ever eaten sweet corn in my life. I have been looking for the perfect recipe since, and I am not so patiently waiting for sweet corn season now.

By the time we were done admiring all things corn rib, our pizza had arrived. The pizza was massive, and perfectly topped with just the right amount of tomato sauce, cheese and various meats. The crust was thin and crispy, just the way we like it. After waiting until after 4:00 to finally eat, we made complete pigs out of ourselves and demolished most of the pie.

The Crooked Antler Lodge was our oasis that day. Cold drinks, hot food, and wonderful service. Not to mention friendly locals willing to share stories, local hangouts, and even the food off their plates. Make the trip to Van Horne and tell them Thunder Roads Magazine of Iowa sent you. We promise, you won’t be disappointed.

See you on the road!

Melanie Schwarte

If you have a WRTE location for us to visit, please let me know at Melanie@ thunderroadsiowa.com

A man goes to India for a cheap penis extension surgery. The doctor suggests a baby elephant trunk stitched on for only $3000. The man agrees. Six weeks later, while having dinner with his new girlfriend he feels an unusual stirring in his pants and thinks, this is the night. While chatting over dinner, his penis suddenly flies out and steals an apple off of the table and goes back into his pants. “Wow!” she says, “can you do that again?” He says, “Well, my penis can, but I don’t think my arsehole can take another apple.”

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. “Captain,” one passenger asks, “who is that man over there?” “I have no idea,” the captain says, “but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.”

What’s the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

A washing machine doesn’t follow me home after I dump a load in it.

Putin is held hostage by a terrorist. A Russian truckdriver stops at the back of a long queue on the motorway. He sees a policeman walking down the line of stopped cars to briefly talk to the drivers. As the policeman approaches the truck, the truckdriver rolls down his window and asks, “What’s going on?” Policeman: “A terrorist is holding Putin hostage in a car. He’s demanding 10 million rubles, or he’ll douse Putin in petrol and set him on fire. So we’re asking drivers for donations.” Driver: “Oh, ok. How much do people donate on average.” Policeman: “About a gallon.”

What would you call a hooker with her hand up her skirt? Self-employed.

Tim decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was organizing his golfing equipment. His wife was standing nearby watching him. After a long period of silence, she finally speaks: “Tim, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married maybe it’s time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. You could probably get a good price for your clubs.” Tim gets this horrified look on his face. She says, “Darling, what’s wrong?” “For a minute there you were beginning to sound like my ex-wife.” “Ex-wife!” she screams, “I didn’t know you were married before!” “I wasn’t,” he replied.

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They don’t know where home is.

A wife got so mad at her husband she packed his bags and told him to get out. As he walked to the door she yelled, “I hope you die a long, slow, painful death.” He turned around and said, “So, you want me to stay?”

My boss was honest with me today. He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied, “Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year.”

What did the clitoris say to the vulva? “It’s all good in the hood!”

During my check-up I asked the Doctor, “Do you think I’ll live a long and healthy life then?” He replied, “I doubt it somehow. Mercury is in Uranus right now.” I said, “I don’t go in for any of that astrology nonsense.” He replied, “Neither do I. My thermometer just broke.”

What’s the difference between boogers and broccoli? Kids don’t eat broccoli.

There was once an island kingdom whose people were all fabulously wealthy. Even though they could have afforded to live anywhere they wanted, tradition dictated they stay on their tiny island home. Eventually, their king became frustrated and called a meeting of the tribe’s elders. He said he wanted them to figure out a way he could enjoy his wealth, and stay within traditional guidelines. After much consideration, the elders suggested he build a magnificent throne. When he objected there was not enough room in his hut for a throne, the elders suggested he call in an engineer to solve the problem. Soon, the king’s tiny hut was rigged with an elaborate system of ropes and pulleys. He could lower the huge throne for use during the day, and at night, he could haul the throne up, and lower his bed. This was truly the best of both worlds for the king. Unfortunately, after a few months of constant use, the ropes frayed, and one night, the throne slipped and came crashing down on the king, killing him. The wise men of the island recognized a lesson in this experience and added to the lore of their people this statement: “People who live in grass houses should not stow thrones.”

My nagging wife died suddenly on a trip to Jerusalem. Funeral director, “Sir, it would cost about $45,000 if we send her home back to the states or $500 if we bury her here in Jerusalem.” Me: “Ship her home.” Funeral director: “But sir, why don’t you bury her here in the Holy Land and you can save money.” Me: “A long time ago a man was buried here and 3 days later he rose from the dead, I can’t take that Chance.”

Old Edna at the nursing home tells old Harry that if he shows her his penis, she can tell him his age. He pulls down his pants, and she looks and says, “You’re 88.” “Wow,” he says. “How did you guess that?” “You told me yesterday,” Edna replied.

A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, “Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news.” The art collector replied, “I’ve had an awful day; let’s hear the good news first.” The attorney said, “Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right.” Saul replied enthusiastically, “Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You’ve just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?” The attorney replied, “The pictures are of you with your secretary.”

A tough old cowboy from Texas counseled his granddaughter that if she wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on her oatmeal every morning. The granddaughter did this religiously until the age of 103, when she died. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 40-foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls’ school was lecturing her students on sexual morality. “We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation,” she said. “Ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?” A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, “Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?”

What do you do when you come across an elephant in the jungle?

Wipe it off and say you’re sorry.

A young man walks up and sits down at the bar. “What can I get you?” the bartender inquires. “I want six shots of tequila,” responded the young man. “Six shots? Are you celebrating something?” “Yeah, my first blowjob.” “Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on the house.” “No offense, sir, but if six shots won’t get rid of the taste, nothing will.”

Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids?

Ask your mom!

So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living. He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air – but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine. Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke fi lled the room

– and the man was once again unharmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. “You know what? No,” said the executioner. “I’ve had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I’m not giving you a thing to eat; we’re strapping you in and doing this now.” Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke fi lled the room – and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless. The man looked at the executioner and said, “Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I’m just a bad conductor.”

What do you call a penis on a beach getaway?

Sunny D.

Three students from Michigan State, the University of Kentucky and Texas A & M on summer vacation in France were caught smuggling cocaine and sentenced to death by guillotine. The judge turned to the boy from Michigan and asked, “Do you have any final words, son?” “Yeah, drop dead!” snapped the Wolverine. Hearing this, the judge signaled for the sentence to be carried out. The executioner pulled the lever, and as the crowd gaped in astonishment, the giant blade came to a screeching halt three inches from the victim’s throat. “It’s God’s will! Let him go!” cried the judge. Next the fella from U. of Kentucky was put on the block, and the judge asked again, “And what are your final remarks, my boy?” “Go to hell!” shouted the student, and the judge signaled. The razor-sharp blade fell and miraculously stopped just a quarter inch from the condemned boy’s neck. “It’s the will of God!” exclaimed the judge. “Set him free!” Finally, the Texan was put into position. “Before you re beheaded,” said the judge, “do you have any last words?” “Yeh!” replied the Aggie. “If y’all will just put a little more grease on them grooves, the blade‘ll come down a whole lot easier!”

One day, there were two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it. The other boy couldn’t figure out why his friend was at the bush for so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the stream. All of a sudden, the second boy took off running. The first boy couldn’t understand why he ran away, so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, “My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady, I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran.”