Wives In Ministry by Wyvetta Temple Granger

Copyright ÂŠ 2014 Wyvetta Granger. All rights reserved. No portion of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any other-except for brief quotation in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher.

ISBN: 13#: 978-1502568045 10#: 1502568047

For general inquiries about using book passages please contact, wivesinministry@lifedevelopmentnetwork.com Printed in the United States

Wives in Ministry Excerpt

The is a step-by-step companion guide to the life-changing which is designed to provide wives with the tools they need to thrive in their life, ministry and marriage. Topics such as The Image of a Wife in Ministry, The Etiquette of a Wife in Ministry, and The Well-Being of a Wife in Ministry are just a few of the chapters focused on the holistic development of wives in married to men in ministry.

Wives in Ministry Excerpt

Can you remember where you were when your husband announced his "Call" into ministry? When I think back to my own experience, the one engrained feeling that resonates with me even today is one of humility. In the fear of my new life experience, I realized I now had to become a Pastor's wife and my family, my goals and my dreams would forever be changed. You must be called to be the wife of a man serving in ministry. However, no matter how great the calling, a woman who does not know how to balance and manage the glare of the spotlight will find themselves unfulfilled in their role as a wife and example to women. First and foremost, you must accept the fact that people will have preconceived notions about how a minister's wife should dress, behave and speak. This is partly derived from the scripture, I Timothy 2:9, but this is also birthed out of people's life experiences. In one congregation you may be viewed as someone's mother, sister, daughter and friend, while in others you may be seen as nothing more than window dressing. These roles, if you are not prepared for them can lead to you feeling like a fish in a bowl gasping for air and cover. The lack of training available to wives in ministry has led to many wives feeling illprepared to deal with the demands that inevitably come from living a life of service. In this study, it is my goal to teach women who are married to men in ministry to walk with grace and effectiveness through the minefield of ministry and marriage by equipping them with the tools they need to live a balanced life, loving marriage and successful ministry. I pray through this study, women will be transformed into a vessel that is pleasing to God and effective to his kingdom. Welcome to the . Lady Wyvetta Granger

Wives in Ministry Excerpt

1 Setting the Atmosphere for Transformation

John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

1 Setting the Atmosphere for Transformation Welcome and Introductions

Each week wives will read a background scripture and reading that will coincide with the weekly topic. The class will discuss the background reading and be expected to memorize the background scripture. Example: John 1:1 “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.”

The role of a wife in ministry can be broadly defined. In addition to the daily demands of being a wife and mother, you must also effectively manage the expectations of church members, peers and extended family and friends. Unfortunately, most wives are ill-prepared to successful deal with outside distractions and the inner conflict that arises from the constant needs of others. Women in ministry are often left to learn to balance life by trial and error while their lives are played out on the stage of life. This Course is designed to address the issues that uniquely impact wives in ministry by encouraging them to strengthen their relationship with God, discover and walk in their gift and leave a legacy that is ordained by God. In the following blanks, list some of the challenges you face as a wife in ministry. _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________

_______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ In the following blanks, list some of the rewards of being a wife in ministry. _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________

To equip wives in ministry with the tools they need to thrive in their life, ministry and marriage.

Equipping wives to successfully manage life and ministry To strengthen W.I.M.'s walk with God To strengthen W.I.M.'s relationship with their spouse To provide practical life skills beneficial to the effectiveness of being a wife in ministry To help W.I.M.'s identify their gifts and talents To increase the self-esteem of wives in ministry

Colossians 3:14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 2 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt ÂŠ 2014. Wyvetta Granger

Welcome Wives in Ministry The Spiritual Life of a Wife in Ministry The Call to be a Wife in Ministry The Authentic Womanhood of a Wife in Ministry The Image of a Wife in Ministry

_______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ _______________________________________________ End of Chapter One Excerpt

3 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt ÂŠ 2014. Wyvetta Granger

3 Walking in Purpose in Marriage and Ministry

I Timothy 2:2 “For Kings, and for all that are in authority; that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.”

Michal…Misunderstanding God’s Calling I Samuel 14:49; 18:20-28; 19:9-17; 25:44 II Samuel 3:13-16; 6:16-23 Noah’s Wife…Walking in Agreement with God’s Calling Genesis 7

THE CALL TO BE A WIFE IN MINISTRY Walking in Purpose in Marriage and Ministry The call to pastor a church or to serve the body of Christ in some ministerial capacity is a call that comes with great responsibility. Beyond the spiritual implications, men who are in ministry are also called to a higher standard of character, patience and wisdom, I Timothy 3:1-16. Because your husband’s call is a representation of your entire home, you too have a mandate to behave as a woman called by God, I Timothy 3:11. One woman never mentioned by name, but nevertheless was a great example to wives who are married to men called to great ministry is Noah’s wife, Genesis 7. Can you imagine her surprise when Noah told her that God had called him to build an Ark, which they would live in with their sons and wives and animals for one year? I can imagine it is the same type of conversation a husband and wife would have if he informed her he was called to the ministry and he was quitting his job to start a “feeding the homeless program.” As a wife, you must truly trust the call of God on your husband’s life to receive this news and still remain committed to God and your marriage. You too will be challenged as Noah’s wife was to listen to your husband’s call and walk in agreement with him, even when you don’t see the rain. Perhaps one indication that Noah’s wife could trust the call of God on her husband’s life was the Word’s affirmation that Noah and his family were found righteous, Genesis 7:1. No doubt she had seen God move on her family’s behalf many times before, and now in a time of uncertainty she trusted the same God that moved mountains in her life in the past to show up in a big way in her present situation. As you work alongside your husband in ministry, don’t minimize the call of God upon your life. Though Noah’s wife’s name was never formerly mentioned, she played an enormous role in her husband’s success and obedience to God. Don’t belittle any gift God has given you to further his kingdom and support your spouse in ministry. If you haven’t, take some time to evaluate the role you play in the call of God upon your husband’s life. Noah’s Helpmeet – the Unnamed Wife: Genesis 7 4 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt © 2014. Wyvetta Granger

3 THE CALL TO BE A WIFE IN MINISTRY Walking in Purpose in Marriage and Ministry

Women who are married to men in ministry have to be called first to a relationship with God, Joshua 14:6a – Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” The enormous challenges couples face in ministry are insurmountable if you are not a woman who has totally submitted to God’s leading. Walking in disobedience and carnality will lead to a marriage that ends in a legacy of divorce if one does not first examine their hearts thoroughly. We see the cost of Michal, David’s wife paid for not fully understanding the call of God on her husband’s life and not examining her own heart – II Samuel 6:16-23. We also see the reward of Noah’s wife because of her obediently walking in agreement with her husband in Genesis 7. In the following blanks, explain why you married your husband. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ B A C K G R O U N D

In our background reading, we consider the marriage of David and Michal. Michal was the daughter of Saul who gave her to David in marriage as payment for David killing the Philistines – I Samuel 18:17-30. Saul’s intent was not noble, but Michal loved David. Though she did love her husband, her upbringing was deeply rooted in her belief system, which did not become evident until later in the marriage. Because she was the daughter 5 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt © 2014. Wyvetta Granger

of a king, she had high expectations of her now husband. The thought of David praising naked before his staff was in her opinion, beneath David. David had not lived up to her expectations. In the following blanks, explain your expectations of your marriage when you first said “I do.” _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ On a scale of 1 (Unmet) to 10 (Exceeded), have your expectations been met thus far? 1

In the following blanks, compile of a list of your husband’s expectations about your marriage. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ On a scale of 1(Unmet) to 10 (Exceeded), rate how you think your husband feels about how you have met his expectations. 1

Expectations about marriage are formed early in life by examples that one sees everyday. Most individuals learn how to behave in their own relationships by observing their mother and father’s relationship. Unfortunately, if the example was 6 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt © 2014. Wyvetta Granger

not reflective of God’s example of marriage, a wife may enter their own relationship under the false impression that her prayer life is not vital. To prevent unrealistic expectations, one must rely on their relationship with God and his Word to gain a true picture of the husband/wife relationship, Hebrews 13:4a – “Marriage should be honored among all men.” Through prayer and relationship, God will equip you with what you need to live a fulfilled marriage. In the following blanks, describe what you describe as a fulfilled relationship. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ B A C K G R O U N D

As a “Wife in Ministry,” maintaining your spiritual walk with God is critical to assisting your husband in ministry because you too serve as a watchman on the wall. Michal had to protect David from her own father in our study, I Samuel 19:11-12. Though we later find she didn’t fully understand the call of God on her husband’s life, she had enough mercy to make sure her father did not kill him and helped David escape. On the other hand, Noah’s wife fully understood and accepted the call of God on Noah’s life. She could have easily questioned her husband’s actions as he built an ark in a time when there was no rain.

In the following blanks, list some of the challenges you have faced when your spouse has asked you to move in faith. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ In the following blanks, discuss how unexpected requests and additional expectations of ministry make you feel. End of Chapter Three Excerpt 7 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt © 2014. Wyvetta Granger

6 Maintaining God-Ordained Relationships

Psalm 1:1 "Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the path of sinners, not sits in the seat of the scornful;"

Ruth and Naomiâ&#x20AC;ŚGodâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Beautiful Relationship Ruth 1

THE RELATIONSHIPS OF A WIFE IN MINISTRY Nurturing God-Ordained Relationships Building and maintaining relationships is an inescapable truth of ministry. As a wife of a minister, you will be expected to foster the innumerable relationships that result from you and your spouse’s service. From the ground’s keeper, to the president of the deaconess board, you will encounter people from all walks of life. Some of the people are in your life to be a benefit to the furtherance of Gods’ plan, while others are strategically placed in your life to cause strife and upheaval within your ministry, Ephesians 6:12. Your walk with God will help you discern between the two. Discernment is defined as the quality of being able to grasp and comprehended what is obscure according to Miriam-Webster online. In Christian context, discernment is perception in the absence of judgment with a view to obtaining spiritual direction and understanding.. Unfortunately, everyone you meet will not have pure motives, for this reason, you must allow the Holy Spirit to reveal the true intentions of one’s heart. Make it your goal to surround yourself with women who have a personal relationship with God and who are secure enough in themselves to share their hurts and celebrate your victories. The friendship between Elizabeth and Mary is the perfect example of a relationship God desires, Luke 1:39-45. Mary sought out to share her news of the birth of Jesus with a woman who had served God throughout her life and herself was experiencing a miracle. As a wife in ministry, you too want to sit at the feet of wise women who are willing to teach you to walk in the call of God for your marriage, family and ministry, Proverbs 15:22. Before you share your inner most secrets or confide your desired goals, make sure the person is worthy of your trust. Evaluate if the person adds value to your life experience (Script) and if the relationship does not better you, it may be time to separate yourself, Proverbs 27:17. Mary and Elizabeth – A Picture of a Godly Relationship Luke 1:39-45 8 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt © 2014. Wyvetta Granger

6 Maintaining God-Ordained Relationships

Healthy and Unhealthy Relationships

Relationships are crucial especially when you are in the public eye. Most beneficial are those relationships that feed you spiritually and challenge you to be better. Unfortunately, when in leadership, you must be aware that people have motives as to why they want to be your friend, employee, client, etc. As a woman of God, you want to surround yourselves with wise women who walk in obedience to God. Ruth was blessed to have Naomi guide her into a kingly inheritance, Ruth 1. Drinking from the bitter water well of people who are not called to be in your life could lead you down a path of broken relationships. On the other hand, there are some individuals in your life that God has placed there for a pre-ordained purpose.

In the following blanks, define the term, relationship. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ In the following blanks, name various types of relationships. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ 9 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt ÂŠ 2014. Wyvetta Granger

_____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Directions: In the following graph, rate your current relationships and determine if they are healthy or unhealthy. Re la t ionship

Ra nk

H e a lt hy or U nhe a lt hy

After W.I.M.'s have rated their relationships, ask them what do they think the Background Scripture, Psalm 1:1 means. Who are the ungodly, sinners and scornful people the Background Scripture is referring to in Psalm 1:1? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ When in a relationship, you must be mindful of who you are allowing to advise you. Why do you feel the Word warns against keeping a close relationship with these types of individuals? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ 10 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt ÂŠ 2014. Wyvetta Granger

In the following blanks, list the characteristics of an "unhealthy" relationship. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ The role of a wife in ministry is demanding; therefore, you should start early in determining whom you will spend time. Are you currently in an unhealthy relationship? If so, with who is the relationship and what makes it toxic. _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ Relationships that don't feed you spiritually and don't sharpen you are "unhealthy," because individuals in these positions don't give you guidance based on what God's Word says; they counsel you out of their own motives. Friends who encourage you to leave your husband, or walk away from your calling are relationships that are not best for you. In Proverbs 27:17, "Iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another." What does this scripture mean to you? _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________________________ When a friend sharpens you, they not only support you, but you also respect them enough to be honest with you even when you are wrong. These types of relationships are considered "healthy" and are ideal for a wife in your position. End of Chapter Six Excerpt 11 Wives in Ministry Student Manual Excerpt ÂŠ 2014. Wyvetta Granger

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Lady Wyvetta Granger at (618) 875-5989 or Email wivesinministry@lifedevelopmentnetwork.com