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HONOURS
OMEHIA RECEIVES THE PRESTIGIOUS NIGERIAN INSTITUTE OF MANAGEMENT’S FELLOWSHIP AWARD
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hursday 28th August 2014 was yet another day of honour for His Excellency, Sir Celestine Omehia, former governor of Rivers State. The venue was the prestigious Shell Hall, Muson Centre, Onikan in Lagos and the event, his investiture as a Fellow on the Nigerian Institute of Management (Chartered) Typical of the Institute, it was an event put together to celebrate individual members, non-members and corporate members for excelling in their different areas of calling and businesses. According to the President and Chairman of Council of the Institute, Dr. Nelson Uwaga, recipients should "not be contented with just adding the designation (FNIM) to their names but to see it as a call to higher service to the Institute, the Management profession and the Nation", enjoining them to "devote more of your time, talent, treasure and thinking to the service of the Institute and mankind" For His Excellency, Sir Celestine Omehia, his honour was in recognition among other achievements, of his contribution to the return of peace to the erstwhile volatile Niger-Delta region of Nigeria. It will be recalled that during his brief but eventful reign as governor of Rivers State, he set up the Rivers State Peace and Reconciliation Committee, which successes led to the adoption of the same approach for the entire Niger-Delta region by the Federal Government, with its attendant return of peace.
His Excellency, Sir Celestine Omehia
Sir Omehia beign recieved by a former President of NIM on arrival
Sir Celestine Omehia recieving the certificate
Sir Omehia (r) in company of other recipients
Sir Omehia, Ex-NIM President, Dr. Uwaga (President NIM), Grant Orugbani (Nat. Treasurer) & Engr. Sulaiman (Registrar)
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A cross-section of recipients of NIM Fellowship honours with officers of NIM
Eze Madumere (Dep. Gov., Imo State), Sir Celestine Omehia & Hon. Umanah
President NIM, Dr. Uwaga (2nd left) with recipients of Life Membership Recognition
Sir Celestine Omehia & Mr. Barth Emuekpere, (Pubisher, XCEL Int'l Magazine)
A cross-section of other recipients (standing)
A former President of NIM, Dr. Nelson Uwaga & Mr. Akinbayo Adenubi
Nat. Treasurer NIM, Mr. Grant Orugbani (right) with other NIM officials
Mr. Barth Emuekpere & Mr. Albert Amachree
Basil Eze, Ayo Akintan & Mrs Nkem Akintan
Mrs. Akintan, Albert, Barth, Omehia, Ayo, Basil & friend Sir Omehia being congratulated by a fellow recipient
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With a massive underground packing facility, designed to meet the latest market need and provide the most convenient and flexible space for all indoor events, THE ATRIUM presents a perfect atmosphere and venue for corporate meetings, receptions, seminars/symposia, presentations and lots more
V The Atrium Facilities and Services Limited 28 Stadium Road Port-Harcourt Rivers State, Nigeria Tel: +234(0)8038422535, 08035561873, 08039652586 email: info@theatriumng.com website: www.theatriumng.com
...A world-class event centre
Pix by: Ogechi
SOCIETY
FIRST EXECUTIVE GOVERNOR OF OIL-RICH BAYESLA STATE
Chief Diepreye Alamieyeseigha BADE DAD FAREWELL AMIDST POMP & PAEGANTRY ormer Governor of Bayelsa State, Chief Diepreye Solomon Peter (DSP) Alamieyeseigha has buried his father, Chief Salo Memein Alamieyeseigha at their Amassoma home amid rapturous fanfare well-deserved of a man who at death is survived by 115 grandchildren, 14 great grandchildren and a host of nephews, nieces, cousins and other relations.
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eve when I served as governor". He lamented that he will miss his wise counsel and advice when confronted with challenges in the course of life, stressing that he remains happy because "until his death, I played the role of a very good son, a dutiful son. I made sure he lacked nothing just as he made sure I lacked nothing while I was growing up".
The colorful two-day ceremony which had President Goodluck Jonathan and his wife, Governor Seriake Dickson and many more dignitaries in attendance commenced Friday April 25 with a Service of Songs & Traditional Wake at Government Secondary School, Amassoma.
The remains of the late chief Alamiesiagha's was interned at his residence after a commendation service at Ikoki-AMA, Amassoma.
Late Chief Alamieyeseigha's remains had journeyed from the Brathwaite Memorial Hospital in Port Harcourt for the Nigerian Airforce Base in a motorcade from where it was airlifted to the helipad at Igbogene, Yenegoa. A peace-loving and law-abiding citizen, the Late Alamieyeseigha was a caring father who made sure that none of his children looked outside for daily bread. He demonstrated a clear passion for education, even though he did not sit in a classroom all his life.
For some who had concluded on the relevance of the widely acclaimed “Governor-General of the Izon Nation� in the political equation of not just the Niger Delta, but the country as a whole, the high profile attendance at the funeral clearly showed that the former Bayelsa State Governor remains a major force to reckon with in the polity.
Alamieyeseigha directing affairs
Born on March 16, 1921 at Amassoma, he died in the late hours of Sunday March 16, 2014 after 93 eventful years. Describing his father as a very independent-minded, self-reliant, selfcontained and self-respecting gentleman, the chief mourner and former Bayelsa State governor, Chief Diepreye Alamieyeseigha observed that "one striking thing about him was that my father never asked me for one Naira,
www.xcelmediaonline.com
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SOCIETY
... And Their Excellencies arrives
... so good to see you
The Alamieyeseigha family welcomes Gov. Dickson & wife
... in a familiar terrain
... Putting heads together
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His Excellencies, President Jonathan making his remarks
Their Excellencies, President Jonathan & DSP Alamieyeseigha in a warm embrace
His Excellency, Gov. Sierake Dickson & wife
His Excellency, DSP Alamieyeseigha speaks
His Excellency, DSP Alamieyeseigha & wife Margret
Their Excellencies, during the National Anthem
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SOCIETY
Sen. Inatimi Spiff, His Excellency, Rufus Ada George & SEN. Lee Maeba Chief DSP Alamieyeseigha with Rev. (Dr.) Uma Ukpai & Rev. Zilly Aggrey
Prof. Steve Azaiki (right)
Barr. & Mrs. Nimi Walson-Jack
Guests
Hon. Kingsley Kuku, Mr. Timi Alaibe & Sen. Uzamire
NDDC’s EDF&A, Hon. Henry Ogiri, Sen. Uzamire & Sen. Edem (NDDC Chairman)
Police Commissioner, Jitoboh (c) with the Alamieyeseighas
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Some members of the Alamieyeseigha family & friends
The Alamieyeseighas
AT THE PALACE OF GOVERNOR-GENERAL OF IJAW NATION (THE OLOTU OF OLOTUS)
Welcome to my Palace
The “Olotu of Olotus” on his Throne
... with friends
Prof. Steve Azaiki, Dr. Abiye Sekibo & Opus Ere with The Governor-General
Emilia Nte, Hon. Opus Ere & Gen. Charles Airhiavbere
Barr. & Mrs. Junior Abere
Her Excellency, Margeret Alamieyeseigha (c) & Chief Abel Ebifemowei (r) ... with some members of G2G 2015 Group
... with a Traditional Ruler from Delta State & some of his Chiefs
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Worst Mistakes Stepparents Make By Natasha Burton
Being a stepparent just may be the hardest familial role to play and no matter how hard you try, there's no guarantee of creating one big, happy Brady-Bunch-ish family. “Step parenting is a delicate dance,” says clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula, PhD. “It's all about communicating and understanding that blended families can have complicated dynamics.” Here are some of the most common stepparent missteps and expert advice on how to avoid these gaffes for a better relationship with your step children and your spouse.
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stepmom from Venice, CA. “For years I felt invisible when my h u s b a n d a n d stepdaughters reminisced over stories. It took all my willpower to keep smiling while my gut clenched. Then, one day, my stepdaughter started telling a new story and I was a part of it.”
You let your stepkids be rude to you.
You try to be the cool parent. “Many times, stepparents just want to be liked,” says Dr. Durvasula, so they'll try to win over kids by buying them gifts or bending rules. Those tactics can be harmful, though, says LuAnn Schindler, a stepmom and teacher from Norfolk, NE. “Giving in to a kid's every whim can erode the parent-child relationship,” she says. “When a student of mine wanted certain namebrand jeans, her stepmom got them, despite the high price. The stepdaughter controlled the relationship and talked negatively about her stepmom to other students. it wasn't healthy.”
through shared experiences instead. “Go for a bike ride or cook dinner together,” she says. “Try to do a joint activity at least once a month.”
“During those family rituals weddings, new babies and the unhappier realities of sickness and death it's easy for a stepparent to feel left out,” ...“Even after 25 years, it's possible that a daughter will want her father, not her stepfather, to walk her down the aisle.”
Cari Andreani, a teacher in Jacksonville, FL, who's worked with divorced families, suggests bonding
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You expect to be an instant happy family.
Peggy Nolan, executive director of The Stepmom's Toolbox, says that stepfamilies take about seven years to blend. And yet, “ p e o p l e i n stepfamilies are expected to act and behave like first families, which is like pounding a square peg into a round hole,” she says.
“You have to earn admission into your family,” explains Connie Brooks, a
Dr. Durvasula says children may resent a n i n c o m i n g stepparent and treat h i m o r h e r disrespectfully. Still, many stepparents put up with this behavior because, again, they're hoping to get their stepchildren to like them. Schindler suggests dealing with stepkids' criticism matter-of-factly, recalling her own stepdaughter's remarks while making muffins one day. “As I mixed the batter, she said, 'You're making them wrong. My mom doesn't make muffins this way.' Throughout the weekend, she pointed out several things her mom and I did differently. My answer was the same every time: Shrug the shoulders and explain there are different ways to do things,” she says. “Soon, it became a non-issue.”
You assume the role of a parent right away. “New stepparents try to discipline without establishing trust,” says Nolan, typically because they've been given the go-ahead from their spouses. “That leads to mistrust and disrespect, which ultimately leads to dislike.” Try being invested in your stepkids' lives without overstepping bounds,
But allowing them quality alone time is crucial. When you encourage your spouse to be with his children, “it sends the message that there's no competition between you and the kids for his affection, which shows you truly want to see your stepchildren happy,” explains Steinorth.
You Deprioritize Your Relationship With Your Spouse. Judy Osborne, a marriage and stepfamily therapist, says many couples neglect their marriages in favor of bolstering the bond between stepparent and stepkids. But there are major benefits for children if they see a healthy adult relationship. “Using lots of energy to help stepparents and stepchildren like each other isn't as helpful as having a good space for the couple to grow together,” explains Osborne.
suggests Brooks. “Be a caring, responsible adult figure, much like a loving aunt, uncle or grandparent,” she recommends. “You can act like a parent when your stepchildren are about to do something irrevocably stupid and you're the only one around to stop it. But you have to not be the parent pretty much every other time.” Dr. Durvasula says this is especially true when both original parents are very involved in the kids' lives.
and more. So you may as well get comfortable with each other and avoid a lifetime of schedule juggling.”
You Don't Give Your Stepchildren Enough Alone With “As soon as I let go of the Time Your things I thought I had to do as Spouse.
a stepparent, life in my home You set your personal became more peaceful, my expectations too high. marriage flourished and my Stepparents may feel enormous relationship with my stepson pressure to get things “right,” became rock solid.” especially given those long-held social stigmas (wicked stepmother, anyone?) that come with the job. “I thought I had to be Super Stepmom, Wonder Wife and She-Ra all rolled into one,” says Nolan. “I turned into an exhausted, overwhelmed, angry control freak.” Once she stopped trying to be the best, everything changed. “As soon as I let go of the things I thought I had to do as a stepparent, life in my home became more peaceful, my marriage flourished and my relationship with my stepson became rock solid.”
A misstep that's quite common, even among veteran stepparents, says Steinorth, is forgetting that your stepkids may need one-on-one time with their original parent. And it often happens because stepparents feel threatened by their spouses' relationship with their children, she says. “The original parent has a shared history with his kids that the stepparent doesn't have, which can lead to feelings of insecurity and envy.”
She stresses the importance of having couple time. “Hire a babysitter occasionally, even if the kids are only in your house for a short while each month,” she says. “This demonstrates to each other as adults and to the kids that the grownup relationship is as vital as the stepchildstepparent relationship.”
You take it personally when children favor their “real” parent over you. “During those family rituals weddings, new babies and the unhappier realities of sickness and death it's easy for a stepparent to feel left out,” notes Osborne. Dr. Durvasula adds, “Even after 25 years, it's possible that a daughter will want her father, not her stepfather, to walk her down the aisle.” But stepchildren regardless of age may feel pressure from their original parents not to give their stepparents as big of a role in family events, says Steinorth. “Show your support by not participating in the 'you have to like me best' game.”
You badmouth the other parent. When child support payments are late or your spouse's ex misses yet another school play, it's tempting to speak up but don't. “Keeping quiet nurtures your bond with your stepchildren because they'll never feel like you're making them choose between parents,” says psychotherapist Christina Steinorth, who works with stepfamilies in her private practice in Santa Barbara, CA. If possible, Brooks suggests developing a relationship with the ex. “It's not just weddings and funerals that require the whole family; it's graduations and holidays, new homes, babies, illnesses XL
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BUSINESS & MARKETS
Welcome to THE DOME GARDEN CITY’S FOREMOST EVENT PLACE, RESTAURANT & JAZZ LOUNGE
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ort Harcourt had yelled for it, and the wait had become indefinite, but thanks to the ingenuity and sense of style and modernity of the Managing Director of THE DOME, delectable Mrs. Lilian Franklin and Chairman, Arc. Johnson Tende, the waiting game has eventually ended, as the eagle finally landed. THE DOME, an imposing architectural masterpiece, located at plot 17 Peter Odili Road, one of the highbrow residential cum commercial areas in the heart of Port Harcourt, brings together in one roof an exquisite, revolutionary event centre and a serene, yet luxurious lounge bar and Restaurant.
The beautifully decorated Gallery of the Dada Ballroom
RESTAURANT AND LOUNGE on the ground floor. With its superlative interior decor, cosy and romantic ambience, The RED CORAL provide a wide range of local and continental delicacies, vintage Champagne, assorted Wines, while being serenaded with some soulful jazz from the grand piano. This, coupled with the revolutionary event centre, THE DOME is not only a one-stop event hosting and entertainment solution provider, but a total brand new experience in event hosting and luxurious dining in Nigeria’s Garden City. Little wonder on 31st May 2014, Port Harcourt socialites and upwardly mobile city-rockers emptied into THE DOME for the official opening ceremony. The event which was compered by ace comedian cum Nollywood Star Basorge Tariah had in attendance a long list of dignitaries from various facets of society. From Business Moguls to top politicians, were on ground as the event provided an evening of relaxation, entertainment, wining and dining for Port Harcourt Big Boys and Girls
A section of the Red Coral Restaurant & Lounge
While the first floor is the 500-seater multiple-level DADA BALLROOM/CONFERENCE HALL with a high-shine customized stage, beautiful illumination and excellently fitted state-of-the-art sound system and audio-visuals, it is carried by the RED CORAL, XL
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BUSINESS & MARKETS
i
t was an evening of entertainment at its best as guests were treated to wonderful performances from some of Port Harcourt best. The Exponent Band thrilled the guest with breathtaking performance of various genre of music, while Lady IB brought the entire arena to its feet as she brought back memories of yesteryears with her oldskool vibes. Wakomzie, Jodie, Najite, Carina, and others were not left out in ensuring there was no dull moment for the guests.
The classic interior of the Red Coral Restaurant & Lounge
touch, the interjection of hilarious comedians like Mudiagha and Dan D’ The exquisite Bar Humorous who both held guest spellbound with ribIn what appeared to be the pleasant cracking jokes, not only added surprise of the evening, one of Nigeria’s excitement to the event, but made it one finest female vocals Omawumi that will certainly linger in the minds of appeared on stage and got the audience many for a long time to come, as there on their feet dancing to some of her hit was virtually no dull moment. As usual, tracks. XCEL was there and present the sights of the event. As if to give the evening a finishing
The Grand Piano
A Birdeye-view of the Dada Ballroom
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ON THE RED CARPET
Barr & Mrs. Michael West on the Red Carpet
Mrs. Lilian Franklin (MD, The Dome) & friend Leah
Mr. & Mrs Franklin Dienye
Tolofari, Nnenda, Poroma & Weli
(From 2nd left) Basorge, Arc. & Mrs. Tende, Hon. Pepple & Fabian
Alice, Atonye, Amie, Ibiba & Joeba
Barr. West & Alabo Tariah
Some staff of Zenith Bank
Lydia & friends Mr. & Mrs. Erekosima
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Mrs. Franklin & Hon. Mrs. West
Mr. Sele of NLNG
Jane & friend
A Guest with Udeze
Amaka of Skye Bank with friend
Arc. & Mrs Johnson Tende
An elegant Guest
Oluchi & friend
Gift & Faith
Mr. & Mrs. Kinochi
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Pharm. Elizabeth (Hopewell’s Health)
Barr & Hon. Mrs. Michael West
Chief & Chief (Mrs) Kenangha
Pradeep, Srinivas, More & Pushpey
Arc. Johnson Tende & wife
Barr. West (Middle)with Air Comm. Ogbeche & Barr. Mrs. Oyibo Ahaneku-Nwaneri
Hon. & Mrs. Augustine Wokocha
Hon Chinye, Barr. Michael West & Isobo Jack
Barr Michael West & Hon. Ipalibo Harry
Mr. & Mrs. Amakiri Oruamabo Hon. & Mrs.Ikenga
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AT THE PALACE OF GOVERNOR-GENERAL OF IJAW NATION (THE OLOTU OF OLOTUS)
Welcome to my Palace
The “Olotu of Olotus” on his Throne
... with friends
Prof. Steve Azaiki, Dr. Abiye Sekibo & Opus Ere with The Governor-General
Emilia Nte, Hon. Opus Ere & Gen. Charles Airhiavbere
Barr. & Mrs. Junior Abere
Her Excellency, Margeret Alamieyeseigha (c) & Chief Abel Ebifemowei (r) ... with some members of G2G 2015 Group
... with a Traditional Ruler from Delta State & some of his Chiefs
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Mike West
Excitement on the face
Hon.(Mrs.) Joeba West
Engr. Unachukwu
Hon. Chinye
Kayode Omotosho
Eric George
Elder Hyke Ochia
Dr. Fenny Braide Jolomi Megbele
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BUSINESS & MARKETS
Air Commodore Ogbeche
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Excitement all the way for Yvonne
Cynthia
Mrs Lilian Franklin
Cutting the opening Cake
Prince Orioko (left) & other Guests
A bevy of pretty ladies
A line-up of beautiful Ushers
Basorge Tariah, Compere
Mudiagha
Dan D’ Humourous
Omawunmi
The Orchestra, Sodienye & Beauty Wagwu thrilling guests
Some members of the Exponent Band
Thrilling the Guests
Acrobatic Dancers thrilling guests
Lady IB in action
doing the Jackson thing
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DEDICATION
AT THE COLOURFUL DEDICATION OF THE GRACE PLACE WORSHIP CENTRE BY ARCHBISHOP MARGARET BENSON IDAHOSA IN PORT HARCOURT
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t was indeed a day of joy, laughter and fulfillment for members of Church of God Mission Int'l Inc., (aka The Grace Place) when on Sunday 1st of June 2014, they dedicated their new worship auditorium. More joyous is the fact that the dedication was conducted by the Archbishop of Church Of God Mission Int'l Inc., Her Grace, Most Rev. Dr. Margaret Benson Idahosa JP, OON.
For the Host Pastors, Rev & Pastor (Mrs.) Ameh, the Church Leaders and the entire congregrants of The Grace Place, it was a dream come true, to see the ediface which was concieved, designed and built by them, being dedicated by none other than the Archbishop. To add to their joy was the impressive list of dignitaries who graced the ocassion amongst whom were, Rt. Rev. Dr. John & Rev (Mrs.) Comfort Bienose (Bishop, CGMi Woji Bishophric), Bishop Emmanuel & Rev. (Mrs.) Happiness Ihueze (Bishop, CGMi Borikiri Bishophric), Bishop Ebiye Tuwari (Bishop, CGMi Abuja Bishophric), Bishop Azenabo (CGMi, USA), Rev. (Mrs.) Helen Akaonye (CGMi, CWFI National President), Hon. (Barr.) O. K. Chinda (Member, House Of Representative) and a host of others. The highpoint of the event was the release of Apostolic Blessing upon the congregants, and Prophetic naming of the five entrances of the building Grace, Salvation, Favour, Signs and wonders, and deliverance, while the Altar was christened the Altar of Mercy. This was one such event that will certainly linger in the minds of the people for a longtime to come as it was indeed a remarkable one.
Her Grace, Anointing the Alter Her Grace, Most Rev. Dr. Margaret Benson Idahosa JP
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The Archbishop & the Bishops consecrating the Oil
Host Pastor, Rev. Emmanuel Ameh during his welcome address
Cutting the Dedication Cake
Bishop John Bienose welcoming the congregation
Bishop Ebiye Tuwari addressing the congregation
Archbishop Margaret With The Host Pastors, Rev & Pastor (Mrs) Ameh
Bishop David Azenabo (CGMi USA) & Bishop Emmanuel Ihueze (CGMi Borikiri)
Rev. & Pastor (Mrs) Ameh, Bishop John Bienose & Rev. Charles Shadrach
Performance by Christian Women Fellowship Int’l (CWFI) Choir
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An array of The Clergy
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Proverbs 29 : 2
Goodluck2Nigeria Goodluck4Nigeria
In your Heart, You Know its Right
Historic Power Privatization
Sharpe community Solar Power Station
Inside the First Class cabin of the new train service
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RELATIONSHIP
HOW TO STRENGTHEN YOUR
LOVING RELATIONSHIP Everyone's relationship is unique, and people come together for many different reasons. But there are some things that good relationships have in common. Knowing the basic principles of healthy relationships helps keep them meaningful, fulfilling and exciting in both happy times and sad:
S
ome relationships get stuck in peaceful coexistence, but without truly relating to each other and working together. While it may seem stable on the surface, lack of involvement and communication increases distance. When you need to talk about something important, the connection and understanding may no longer be there. Getting through conflict, some couples talk things out quietly, while others may raise their voices and passionately disagree. The key in a strong relationship, though, is not to be fearful of conflict. You need to be safe to express things that bother you without fear of retaliation, and be able to resolve conflict without humiliation, degradation or insisting on being right. below are a few nuggets for building a lasting relationship
you were first dating your loved one. Everything may have seemed new and exciting, and you may have spent hours just chatting together or coming up with new, exciting things to try. However, as time goes by, children, demanding jobs, long commutes, different hobbies and other obligations can make it hard to find time together. It's critical for your relationship, though, to make time for yourselves. If you don't have quality time, communication and understanding start to erode. Think about playful ways to surprise your partner, like bringing flowers or a favourite movie home unexpectedly. Make a habit of laughing together whenever you can. Most
Never stop communicating Honest, direct communication is a key part of any relationship. When both people feel comfortable expressing their needs, fears, and desires, trust and bonds are strengthened. Nonverbal cues, body language like eye contact, leaning forward or away, or touching someone's arm are critical to communication. Good communication is a fundamental part of a healthy relationship. When people stop communicating well, they stop relating well, and times of change or stress can really bring out disconnect. As long as you are communicating, you can work through whatever problem you're facing. Keep physical intimacy alive Touch is a fundamental part of human existence. Studies on infants have shown the importance of regular, loving touch and holding on brain development. These benefits do not end in childhood. Life without physical contact with others is a lonely life indeed. Studies have shown that affectionate touch actually boosts the body's levels of oxytocin, a hormone that influences bonding and attachment. In a committed relationship between two adult partners, physical intercourse is often a cornerstone of the relationship. However, intercourse should not be the only method of physical intimacy in a relationship. Regular, affectionate touch, holding hands, hugging, or kissing is equally important. However, while touch is a key part of a healthy relationship, it's important to take some time to find out what your partner really likes. Unwanted touching or inappropriate overtures can make the other person tense up and retreat - exactly what you don't want. Spend quality time together You probably have fond memories of when
situations are not as bleak as they appear to be when you approach them with humour. Learn your partner's emotional cues Each of us is a little different in how we best receive information. Some people might respond better to sight, sound, or touch. Your partner's responses may be different from yours. Take some time to learn your partner's cues, and be sure to communicate your own as well. For example, one person might find a brief massage after a stressful day a loving mode of communication, while another might just want to talk over a hot cup of tea. For a relationship to work well, each person has to be receptive to sending and receiving nonverbal cues. Learning to understand this “body language” can help you better understand what your partner is trying to say Question your assumptions If you've known each other for a while, you may assume that your partner has a pretty good idea of what you are thinking and what you need. However, your partner is not a mind reader. While your partner may have some idea, it is much healthier to directly
express your needs to avoid any confusion. Your partner may sense something, but it might not be what you need. What's more, people change, and what you needed and wanted five years ago, for example, may be very different now. Getting in the habit of expressing your needs helps you weather difficult times, which otherwise may lead to increasing resentment, misunderstanding, and anger. Healthy relationships are built on give and take If you expect to get what you want 100% of a time in a relationship, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Healthy relationships are built on compromise, and it takes work on each person's part to make sure that there is a reasonable exchange. Don't make “winning” your goal If you approach your partner with the attitude that things have to be your way or else, it will be difficult to reach a compromise. It's all right to have strong convictions about something, but your partner deserves to be heard as well. You are more likely to get your needs met if you respect what your partner needs, and compromise when you can. Knowing what is truly important to your partner can go a long way towards building goodwill and an atmosphere of compromise. On the flip side, it's also important for your partner to recognize your wants and for you to state them clearly. Constantly compromising your needs for others' will build resentment and anger. Expect ups and downs and be open to change It's also important to recognize that there are ups and downs in every relationship. You won't always be on the same page. Sometimes one partner may be struggling with an issue that stresses them. Change is inevitable in life, and it will happen whether you go with it or fight it. Flexibility is essential to adapt to the change that is always taking place in any relationship. Don't ignore problems. Whatever problems arise in a romantic relationship, it's important to face them together as a couple. If an aspect of the relationship stops working, don't simply ignore it, but instead address it with your partner. Things change, so respond to them together as they do. Should you be going through the misfortune of an unstable relationship, there is no doubt that the above nuggets will certainly help you out of the quagmire of enduring rather than enjoying your relationship. XL
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Pastor Debby Jones presenting the Prize to Mr. & Mrs Kelvin Amadi
Pastor Debby Jones, HRH Amb. Prince Promise Nyeche & wife
Mr. Pat,Globerry, Castro D Comedian & Bosinde on stage performing
Bukwild, Guest, Arinze Baba, KO Baba, Bosinde, Mudiagha & Adviser
Bosinde with veteran comedian Mr. O.A.U & Family
Mr. & Mrs chikas & Guest (c)
Mother Deborah Arungwa, Mrs Beatrice Weli & Mrs Bertha Amadi
Bridget Amadi & Bukwild on the Red Carpet
For your weddings, Cocktail & Dinner parties, End of Year & Anniversary celebrations, Bosinde is the right Corporate & Stand Up Comedian to spice it up. Call: 08020632518, 08039456424 Email: bosindelive@yahoo.com Mr Alabi of STV, Oba Omega, Bosinde & Guests
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Being More Producvtive At Work
Do you feel like your work days fly by and you don't get enough done? If this is a recurring problem, then your work productivity is in serious need of a reboot. You may need to boost your performance in the office with these tips.
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our productivity plays a pivotal role in whether you keep your job. "Managers and executives these days are totally focused on productivity; getting the most from the employees they have," says Kate Wendleton, president of career coaching firm “The Five O'Clock Club”. "They are reluctant to hire up, so they need people who are productive.”Experts have identified 10 ways you can get more done at work:
get anything done that's significant because they're just fighting fires," Wendleton says. Develop two big-picture things that you want to accomplish throughout the year and post them next to your computer as a reminder.
Start your day earlier. If you can, get to work early, when people aren't there to distract you. "You'll get so much more done," Wendleton say. An empty office means no one will be bothering you with questions and taking time away from your work.
Surf the Web occasionally. Web browsing can actually refresh tired workers and enhance their productivity, compared with other activities such as making personal calls, texts, or e-mails,
Take breaks. It's tempting just to sit at your desk all day, but you'll find yourself far less energized. A simple five-minute walk will help clear your head and enable you to restart your work with a fresh approach. "It helps the blood flow," Wendleton says. Marla Tabaka, a business coach and strategist, says your brain needs a break of some sort every two hours. "It's a good idea to get up, stretch, go to the water cooler, and then get back to work," she says. "Just try to keep your breaks to five minutes.”
Wendleton says: If you want to save time, make a to-do list the night before and then update it in the afternoon. "You need to ensure you're working on things that are important to the company,” Wendleton says. The more important your work is, the more valuable you are as an employee.
Set long-term goals. "Too many people get caught up in the dayto-day things that need to be done, the recent email that came in, the phone call that just came in and then they really don't
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Meditate. It gives you the ability to let go of the stress. While you're meditating, Tabaka suggests visualizing what you want your ideal day to look like. "That'll get you one step closer to creating that ideal day," she says. Tabaka adds that meditation doesn't have to mean sitting in a still position and humming; you simply need to do something that relaxes you.
Snack right. Snacks should be high in protein and high in fiber. "Don't limit your snacks to just one food group," says nutritionist Heather Bauer, author of The Wall Street Diet. For example, if you're going to snack on a piece of fruit, add some peanut butter for energy and two pieces of high-fiber bran crisp bread. Or pair a handful of high-fiber cereal with a flavored Greek yogurt. Noshing on pretzels and chips? They're full of simple sugars that create a quick rise in blood sugar levels, but they aren't good for the long haul. "This is ideal for a moment, but then you end up feeling hungry and tired 20 minutes later," Bauer says.
Power Nap.
according to a study released last year by the National University of Singapore. The study found that taking intermittent breaks from tasks to surf the Web and visit your favorite sites can help you focus more when you go back to work.
A number of medical studies have shown that short napping in the early afternoon increases a person's productivity, alertness, and sometimes even their mood. "A very short, regenerative nap can help you channel your energy and refocus," Tabaka says. Just be sure not to sleep for more than 15 to 20 minutes. Otherwise, it could create problems with your boss.
Don't Multitask.
Counter Interruptions.
Focus is key. "These people who think that they can multitask are wrong," Wendleton says. Focus on one thing, get it done, and move on. "The people who are able to focus and get something done well are the people who are most productive," she says.
You must have a strategy for dealing with interruptions. Caroline Ceniza-Levine of New York career coaching firm SixFigureStart says, "When someone comes in, all of your strategies shouldn't go out the window." If a colleague comes in and asks for a minute, you can say, "Not right now. Send me an email, and we'll set up some time." One caveat: Don't try it with your boss
Prioritize. Once in the morning and then again in the middle of the day, take a step back and examine if your efforts are focused on the right projects. "You need to ask yourself, 'Am I working on the most important thing I can be working on?'”
not putting things off you're scheduling things,".
Multitasking will eat up 40 percent of your workday, Tabaka says. "Employers want people who can focus," she says. Instead, block out time to do certain tasks. "You're
NIGERIA GAYVIOLENCE NIGERIAGAYVIOLENCE and the examples we must not set for our children G
By Ozioma Onyenweaku
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hen Nigeria, on January 7th 2014, despite all pressures from within and outside, signed the Anti-Gay marriage Bill (SAME SEX MARRIAGE PROHIBITION ACT) into law, not a few hailed the development, and of course there were many who had (and still have) their reservations about the new law. The ACT outlaws same sex marriages; and such marriages in violation of the law attract 14-years imprisonment; while being a member of gay rights organization attracts 10-years imprisonment. The Nigerian President's spokesman, Reuben Abati, commenting on the new law, stated that the Same Sex marriage Prohibition Act was in line with the cultural and religious beliefs of Nigerian People. We agree with him. Culturally speaking, Nigeria and indeed Africa, place very high value on family life. The issue of family is a serious concern to African culture and that is because the family is the nucleus of the society. The society is a reflection of the families; the nation is as healthy as its families are. More particularly, the family is a child's natural 'habitat'; the family is the breeding ground for the future and future leaders. One gets a fore-gleam of the future from observing the present state of the families. Yes, the child, the future, needs a healthy family to survive, thrive and develop his full potentials. A child cannot do well without the family. This fact is wellcaptured by the African Charter on the Rights and Welfare of the Child, when it stated in its preamble thus: “Recognizing that the child occupies a unique and privileged position in the African society and that for the full and harmonious development of his personality, the child should grow up in a family environment in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding…” Yes, a well-rounded-off family environment is a necessity for a wellrounded off child and future. To achieve its goal the family must function properly the way it is meant or designed to function. That's our orientation.
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It is on that note that yours truly, on behalf of the children of our beloved nation, contributed by stating in one of my articles that: “Standing up against any ideology that tends to rubbish the proper and divinely instituted family structure and setting is a disservice to humanity. Nigeria might not have been getting certain things right, but for standing up to safeguard the family in the form and manner as instituted by God (despite opposition and pressure) and adopting anything to the contrary as being abhorrent and unacceptable, Nigeria has made us proud. Yes, Gay marriage is not Nigerian, and is a big dysfunctional element in family”. Some of the few reservations about the anti-gay law border on the consequences of criminalizing the gay offence. We share the fear of those who believe that criminalizing gay relationships would instigate a lot of violence in the country. The over-zealous security operatives would over-stretch their authorities, while the over-righteous individuals would want to embark on 'the cleansing of the temple' beyond what is stipulated by the law. The fears are well-founded. While the Bill was pending, not yet signed into law, a lot of violence was already being unleashed on people suspected to be gay. We heard the case of one Florence Ohaile who was alleged to be a lesbian; she had her office and house in an outskirt of Abuja vandalized and destroyed, and her personal belongings burnt, and the lady had to run for her dear life having escaped, by the whiskers, from being lynched . Then one can only imagine what the situation would look like now that gay relationships are outlawed in black and white. Reports have it of the wide and massive arrests of suspected gay people in Northern Nigeria just the week following the passing of the anti-gay law. In Bauchi State alone, about 168 people were sought after by the police as gay while about 38 of them were actually arrested same week for possible prosecution. These, of course, are the 'fortunate' ones because those that would fall into the hands of religious communities might not live to tell their stories. In as much as we endorse the position that gay relationship is not Nigerian, and is foreign to our culture,
religion and orientation, and is a dysfunctional element in family structure, we do not accept the violence with which the antigay law is welcome. Why brutalize a suspect to the extent of being banished as is the case of Florence earlier mentioned; or the 'touch-inarm and sword-wielding' search for suspects of gay relationships as obtainable in some parts in Northern Nigeria? Civility and decency are embraced by our culture; why throw them away in the name of chasing away what we consider foreign to our culture? Even as the Anti-gay law criminalizes gay relationships, it is not contemplated that we should go about enforcing it in a crude and barbaric way. We have our procedure for handling crime, and it is, by all intents and purposes, decent. We must do it right as children deserve adults who set good examples for them both in their relationships and their way of reacting to the situations they find offensive. Teaching by example is a very effective way of impacting positive values on our children, and that we must do if we desire to bequeath to our children these values and virtues for a better tomorrow.