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Imposter syndrome?

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DARCEY EDKINS

DARCEY EDKINS

Symptoms include nightmares, chronic rewriting and crippling self-doubt. Journalists reveal all to Eoghan O’Donnell

Perfect! That’s what journalists are! And we know exactly what we’re doing! And we know how to finish our current story! And we know exactly where the next story is coming from! And consistently earn enough to support ourselves! And have no anxieties! Or doubts! Or insecurities! Or flaws! Right?

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Journalism is undoubtedly a competitive industry, with hundreds of stories each day competing for readers’ attention. As soon as one article is submitted, worries bubble to the surface. Was the piece good enough? Did I do something wrong? What will I submit next? Is somebody better than me about to take my job? There’s a misconception that anyone can be a journalist. It’s true the internet means anyone can have their voice heard. But being heard doesn’t equate to factual storytelling or accurate relaying of the truth. It’s a career that entails a lot of research, trial and error and, of course, editing.

It’s highly competitive, too, and the lack of diversity doesn’t help. In fact, current NUJ trends show journalism is becoming less varied, with those from white, affluent backgrounds forming about 90 per cent of the workforce. This is hardly surprising given the low starting salaries that make journalism hard to break into without financial backup. For all the challenges and obstacles, it’s still an exciting career many choose. However, it’s one steeped in uncertainty and precarity.

“According to 2020 statistics from the Journal of General Internal Medicine, up to 82 per cent of people suffer from imposter syndrome. The feeling is particularly prevalent in ethnic minority groups.

Feeling tragically alone and misunderstood in your anxieties as a journalist? We reached out to industry experts across different areas of journalism to understand their journeys with imposter syndrome and learn from their words of wisdom.

“Journalism has been my job for 30 years, and I absolutely know I am perfectly good. At the same time, whenever I sit down to write a piece, I worry: ‘Oh no, I might fail this time.’ how I look or how young I might seem. I get that a lot, particularly when working with or interviewing more experienced or older people. And honestly, sometimes, it’s reinforced by how interviewees treat me! Particularly older men in certain spheres, like fnance, can often be patronising in interviews. It can make you question yourself in the moment.

Even in the darkest moments, when I look at the page and think ‘Oh my God, this is the time I am going to fail’, I snap out of it very quickly, knowing the piece will be there. It will be okay. Even a s**t piece will fll a hole in a newspaper. Newspapers are full of s**t pieces.

I think about how hard I’ve worked to get to this point and try to remind myself that I’m qualifed to do whatever task I’m doing. If I’m in that room, then there’s a reason. It doesn’t matter that I’m a young woman or I have a Northern accent or a high-pitched voice or whatever I worry about on that given day. I have the knowledge and the experience to be there. Lean on those around you. Find friends within the industry who can relate and be vocal about your insecurities when you can. Sometimes a pep talk from a peer can go a really long way.”

Fiona Simpson, Editor, CYP Now

I am an imposter, but you have to get on with it. With my type of colour writing, I suppose you really are colouring around the edges of the fact that you are an imposter.

Once you’re a ‘big dog’ like me, it’s not a tiny voice from the inside saying you’re s**t. It’s a lot of people from the outside. Sometimes I think you’ve just got to f**king get on with it because you need to pay the bills.

I’m told it’s nepotism because my father is a journalist and that I just got the job because of family, and I have to prove week after week that I’m worthy. I hear people say, ‘He’s just a pound shop AA Gill’, ‘He’s just a s**t version of Jay Rayner’, or whatever they want to say. Fuck them!

Piers [Morgan] would always say, ‘Why would you care what people think about you! F**k them. It’s all fame, it’s all notoriety, and I can turn it all into money.’”

A lot of journalism is putting things aside. You get the piece fled frst, and then you deal with everything else after, regardless of your emotional state.

You’ve got to compartmentalise everything and keep going on. At the end of the day, it’s your job, and it’s the job you’ve done.”

Lucy Maguire, Senior trends editor, Vogue Business

From my frst Paris Fashion Week to interviewing major CEOs or frst speaking at a conference on stage, there’s been a lot of moments where I’ve questioned how I got there or whether I deserve it. Interestingly, the most niggling thought is whether other people will think I deserve my position because of

I often fnd imposter syndrome sets in when it’s my turn to ask a question, either when I’m at a press conference with colleagues from big national titles or pitching ideas within my organisation. Part of me feels like I need to prove my expertise, while another part thinks I’ll end up looking silly. My advice: do your research and have a clear idea of what you want to achieve, whether you’re at a press conference or pitching an idea to editors. It will take the pressure off.”

Beth Kennedy, Editor, Chemist+Druggist:

“Being an editor is a huge job with tons of responsibility and what feels like a million competing priorities on any given day. The stakes are high, and it’s easy to forget all the good work that you do.

It’s imperative to keep a sense of perspective. But one bad day or week or month doesn’t defne you as a journalist. Breathe through the doubts and remember how competitive this feld is. You wouldn’t be in your position if people didn’t believe you could do it.”

Jonathan Beckman Editor,

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“I came into this job not knowing much about editing magazine journalism and on a team where most people didn’t know about editing either. I’m still an imposter in that I haven’t come from a reporting background and am constantly getting people to get big reports and haven’t done that myself, but I hope I can help in other ways. I commission people to do things I haven’t even done myself!

Every time you start a new job, you ought to be out of your depth. Being out of your depth should be something as exciting and challenging as it is overwhelming. Ultimately, when you do get super comfortable in your job, it’s probably time to move on.

I certainly have a perfectionist streak, and I think people who suffer from imposter syndrome probably do as well, but you can’t be too perfectionist about things. You can be a good parent, not a perfect parent.

Journalism is about being good enough. You learn stuff by doing stuff. It’s like a muscle: the more you do it, the stronger it gets. I’m not saying the imposter syndrome will go away, but it will impact you less.”

Nicola Elliott Journalist and NEOM founder

“Imposter syndrome only exists if you think there’s a set standard that someone else has set that you need to live up to. What if you wrote the rules on what ‘good’ looks like? Be yourself. Own your imperfections. Understand you only need to be good at a few things, not all. In fact, it’s normal to be rubbish at lots of stuff. Once you get this into your head it reframes everything, especially imposter syndrome.”

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