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DUTCH EDUCATION: Even When You’re Sick, Just Act Normal

By Greg Shapiro and Inez de Goede

GREG: Hi! It’s me, Greg Shapiro: The American Netherlander. And this time it’s also my wife Inez de Goede; author and mother of our two kids. INEZ: The mother-who-always-gets-the-blame -when-things-go-wrong-with-her-child. GREG: Right. Inez has quite some experience with our 15-year-old son and his medical condition. Meanwhile, did you hear? Dutch teachers recently went on strike to protest unfair working conditions. I feel like some of those ‘conditions’ were kids with medical conditions. And hey, I’d go on strike too, if I could. Inez: Our son has Juvenile Idiopathic Arthritis. His diagnosis has been very complicated for the Dutch system. I mean, it’s a difficult situation for all of us. But instead of getting support, we were left to our own devices. No body, and I mean nobody, communicates with each other. So there you are, a parent with a sick child – with no background in medicine, psychology or education – and you’re supposed to coordinate doctors, school, psychologists, therapists and every body else who is making money with their so-called expertise, while you don’t, but you do get to organize the whole thing. GREG: Some context: the education system underwent a big change about ten years ago, right? I remember I was hired to perform at an event for school administrators, where the theme was “We’re removing the stigma of the term ‘Special Needs Child.’ From now on, we’ll treat all the kids the same!” Someone in the audience asked, “What about the kids who really do have special needs?” And the organizers had no good answer. INEZ: The Dutch system has no room for anything but the average child. Everything outside the box is labeled as problematic, and there is no solution for it but endless waiting lists and stigmas. It took me many phone calls and a lot of research to find out about our options. All the experts pointed us in different directions. GREG: No one treated you as an expert. INEZ: Since when are parents ever considered experts when it comes to their own child? In the end everyone seemed to say: just send him back to school and conform to the system. GREG: The motto of our son’s elementary school was ‘Become Who You Are’. But in practice it was Just Act Normal’.

‘No child should ever have to be condemned to home because the regular school system is only capable of accommodating the average child’

INEZ: By now, our son is going to school full-time, he is able to do homework again, and participate in tests. All this has been achieved by lots and lots of counseling. GREG: Arranged by you. INEZ: And appointments at Reade Rehabilitation Center and Amsterdam UMC. It’s been a part-time job for me to accompany my son everywhere, negotiate for him and tutor him when he’s not able to go to school or meet his deadlines. His illness is not in remission yet (we are hopeful). He is still taking medication, and every adjustment takes a toll. So I am in constant contact with school to manage their expectations and to meet their regulations. GREG: Our son is studying at a high school specializing in the arts. So of course they have him studying economics & chemistry & physics. And okay I get it, those are part of the national curriculum. But when the academic coordinator says “Your son can miss some of those classes,” then why do they call up the next day threatening him for missing classes? INEZ: Last week I asked for some flexibility regarding deadlines and testing. “Not possible,” said the vice-principal, “we are taxed to the max, and my teachers cannot deal with any more exceptions. They need to keep an overview of what still needs to be done per child. And they get stressed out because they can’t check their boxes.” GREG: This is what happens when there are no more kids with ‘special needs’. Now everyone has special needs. INEZ: That’s what the vice-principal said: “We have a lot of children in our school with spe cial needs. It’s very complicated for the teachers, and we cannot accommodate children with an illness. We are just a regular school.” I asked: “Are you saying my son has to leave your school in case he has a relapse?” There was no clear reply. He says he adores our son and wants to keep him on board, but he also has to consider the teachers and their well-being. GREG: Children are the future... but teachers have a permanent contract. INEZ: Maybe I am too pessimistic. Maybe I shouldn’t worry about a relapse. But the fact that it could happen – and there is doubt about getting support and understanding from the school – is both stressful and infuriating. No child should ever have to be condemned to home for months or sometimes even years, because the regular school system is only capable of accommodating the average child.

ABOUT THE AUTHORS Inez de Goede (b. 1970) was born in Amsterdam and raised in France. She studied Cultural Anthropology and went to Film and Art school - for a while. She worked behind the scenes in theatre, met her famous husband at Boom Chicago, managed his career for 20 years, and is now preparing the release of her first novel in early 2021 with Orlando Publishers. Gregory Shapiro (b.1968) is the author of How to be Dutch: The Quiz and the voice of Trump in the viral video ‘Netherlands Second.’ In 2020 he celebrates 25 years as corporate speaker, event host and speaking coach. His show Trump Up the Volume can be seen at Boom Chicago. www.gregshapiro.nl

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