XQQ 2017 Pride Edition by T'eVine

SUMMER 17 VOLUME III

your queer guide to pride

CROSS QUEER QUARTERLY

LGB ANNUAL TAKE BACK THE

( a n d d on â&#x20AC;&#x2122; t f o rg e t t h e Q )

A Globe and Mail Territorial Avowal I had a cup of tea with a friend the other day. The talk shifted to treaty rights as there had been some news in the paper. She said giving the land back wasn’t practical, but we should be fair. I said, “We are not giving anything back – we never had it in the first place. The common law doctrine of terra nullius, that no one owned the land, therefore it is ours - never applied in Canada.” She said she wasn’t sure some old law of England applied and I replied, “I am not telling you this is a moral claim, I am telling you this is the unanimous legal decision of the Supreme Court of Canada on June 26th 2014.” This is the unceded territory of the Coast and Straits Salish people

BELTANE 17 3—This Issue 4— Editor's Note 5—Letters 6–9 News Trans Need 10—11 Ramblings 12—13 Pride & Joy 14—15 TransVine 16—17 Social Transition 18—Present as you Intend 20—21 ooT & abooT

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Editorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s It has been a year now, since our last Pride edition of XQQ, but I still remember just as vividly my editor's message. We were all still reeling from the cold-blooded murder of 49 innocents at the Pulse Nightclub in Orlando, Florida, at the hands of a deranged lunatic and extremist homophobe. Rest in power, friends, you are both missed and remembered. Since then, I've been observing some interesting developments both within our community and in the larger context of society as a whole. There have been both very positive and very negative events that seem to have resulted in a disturbing yin/yang balance where I never know what might come next. Will it be a celebration-worthy victory, such as the ones recently seen through Canada's long-expected passage of Bill C-16, or Germany's equally long-expected legalization of same-sex marriage? Or will it be another transyouth beaten to death by right-wing extremists, emboldened by the hateful rhetoric and social normalization of violence against marginalized groups, thanks to a sense of permissiveness toward voicing and expressing intolerance, granted by larger-than-life leaders like Donald Trump or his BFF, Vladimir Putin?

easily. But how best to dedicate those precious few hundred words judiciously? Actually, the answer for me became ludicrously simple. All it took was a trip to visit family in Fort St. John, B.C. I knew then, exactly what would be the right message to convey. The theme for this issue, and really for our piece of the rainbow in Pride this year, is 'Taking Back the "T" in LGBT.' Of course, the first question many will ask, is what on earth does that mean? And even if we understand what it means, what does it entail? How do we do that? As much as I wish I could definitively answer that for everyone, the least I can do is answer it for myself, and share that with you for your own consideration and to help you devise your own answers to these questions.

Note

leged gay men. And as such, very little room is given to anyone else... (I suppose the polar opposite might be an old, Asian, unemployed trans woman? Yes, that bulge you see is your editor's tongue placed firmly in their cheek. Go ahead, chuckle, it's allowed -- even though we are dealing with serious subject matter here). It's this perceived misrepresentation of what it means to represent us that has sparked discord not only in Victoria's Pride community but also on a much wider scale. This is the reason why Black Lives Matter protesters have interrupted and blocked Pride parades across North America. This is the reason why there is a "No Justice No Pride" counter-movement. This is why Victoria has an "alt-pride" group that organize their own alt-pride march and event. This is why UVic's Pride Collective has withdrawn from Pride in 2017. Because intersectionality matters and intersectionality in Pride, or the lack thereof, has finally come to a head.

For several years now, there have been many in the rainbow community who have been taking a step back when they consider Pride (both as an organization and a movement) and saying, "Wait a minute! That's not * Please look for the companion artime. That neither represents who I am, cle / continuation of this message, nor what I stand for." There is a pre- later on in this issue. vailing image of Pride, and whether it's accurate or not is entirely irrelevant, (as that is the very nature of pubThere is a lot I could write about, and lic perception), where Pride is made up for an editor, the words often come of young, Caucasian, socially privi-

JULY 12TH 7:30-8:30

ONLINE @T TR@NSVINE GO TO XQQ.CA/TRANSVINE TO GET YOUR LEAF

Letters to Editor The le ers here are the opinions of the writer and do not reďŹ&#x201A;ect any posi on of this newspaper.

another similarly minded person. Even when they could have noticed upon other occasions that skin texture, hair distribution, voice, or chest contour did not quite match that typical of bodies they expect, in the heat of a wished for sexual or merely cuddling experience these warning signs can be overlooked.

PLEASE UPGRADE MY SUBSCRIPTION

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS WITH STRAIGHTS

To XQQ

To the Editor:

I am a therapist who works on Vancouver Island and over the past few years I have seen more and more clients and their families coming to me about gender related issues. Often they need other types of help than the counselling, such as trans informed medAical care. It has always been a problem to simply direct them to the right service. Your adding the Rainbow Resources pages to the magazine has been a real help, and I do appreciate seeing my own listing there. A while back, I ordered a personal print subscription, but my copy was not lasting past my next client session, and I see that I can order a Service Subscription of 25 copies. Enclosed please find my cheque. Keep up the good work!

It may be very tempting for a trans or cross dressing person to enter into a sexually charged social exchange with a cisgendered and straight individual, but it can be a very dangerous and morally dubious matter if it is not clear to the other just Rightly or wrongly, most humans have what is the conformation of one's own pretty rigid ways of being sexual in the body and maybe even the sexual expectaworld, and it is strongly tied to their sense tions. of dignity and self-worth as much as our It is foolish to think anyone so deceived is sense of gender often is for those of us likely to react with anything but humilia- who live in the binary and are not fluid in tion, horror, and revulsion to the point of either of or both our gender or sexual prompting a violent response, no matter identities. Respect them as you would wish what their brains would at other times tell to be yourself. them decent civilized behavior would be. Before you start back home with someIt is likely a lot easier for many of those of body, make sure that they know what to us who have had to deal with the anoma- expect. lies of our own gender and sexual situation You owe it to them as a matter of ethics. to deal with surprises such as those we Besides, it might save you a trip to the hosmight inflict on the hetero-normative. Their pital - or the morgue. overwhelming majority makes it reasonable for them to suppose that they are with A Concerned Trans woman

Mid Island Therapist

News Trans Need C a n a d ia n N e w s

dian Human Rights Act and the Criminal Code.

for Trans rights but the start of a larger project to make sure that these rights and protections are reflected in all federal policies and services. I look forward to quick action to remove discrimination against Trans people, beginning with changes by Transportation Canada to aviation security screening regulations and action by Passport Canada to ensure Trans people can obtain passports with appropriate gender markers.”

The passage of this Bill is a tribute to the many Trans people who have bravely come forward in the face of fear, intimidation and hate to share stories of their reality as Trans people and demand their “After more than 12 years rights. It is sad that the federal level is last to arrive of the Trans community at equal rights and protecand its allies fighting for tions, especially given that equal rights and protectwo bills had previously tions, I’m pleased to see passed the House of Comthat the Parliament of Canada has finally gotten mons in 2011 and 2013 A special thanks to Randall the job done and put gen- but died in the Senate. for keeping watch on this der identity and gender Passing Bill C-16 does not community issue. expression into the Canamark the end of the fight Bill C-16—Yeahh! Finally! and we didn’t have to wait for Don Plett to find another line of work! Randall Garrison released this statement on the passing of the bill -

BC News It is a sign of the times that after 52 days of what must be the slowest election in history, there is a new provincial government. Regardless of anyone’s politics, no one (except a few) wants to head back to the polls. It seems that we elected a PR government by accident. All will be watching closely, especially Islanders who now have a Premier, (John Horgan) the most likely finance minister, (Carol James) and three members of the Green Party amongst those who call the Island home. Around here we are super curious about who will be the new Minister of Health, most likely Judy Darcy and the effect it will have (if any) on TransCare BC. One hopes it will have a positive effect

T e x a s T o i le t Pa p e r s Some of our neighbors to the south continue their efforts to make it legally difficult to pee in peace. Texas Republicans, not wanting to be upstaged by their counterparts in North Carolina, unveiled a bill to regulate bathroom use and keep Texans from

News Trans Need using bathrooms that align with their gender identity. Championed by the Don Plett of Texas, Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick’s legislation would have required transgender people to use bathrooms in public schools, government buildings and public universities based on “biological sex.” The measure would also preempt local nondiscrimination ordinances. (Take that, Austin)

session starting on July 18. We will watch and see what happens next. As happened in North Carolina, the trans community has found an ally in business, which generally tired of this cultural war crap that tends to impact business as much as the people discriminated against. More info and links on line at http://xqq.ca/news/

badminton is one of the venues) More info and links on line at http:// xqq.ca/news/

that it uses for other conditions when assessing coverage related to gender transition.

1step ahead, 2 back

We are grateful for all the hard work it took to get C16 passed, but the US experience highlights the need to continue to ensure that our core protections are functional and useful in resolving the lack of equity in our own healthcare systems. Today in BC, trans women are still subjected to special reviews by non-medical staff to access some types of gender surgery. They also don’t have access to the full range of bottom surgeries available in other jurisdictions. This happens because they are underrepresented at all levels of the healthcare systems and no one on the inside champions their issues. More info and links on line at http://xqq.ca/news/

Trans Canadians are often justifiably frustrated by the complexity of accessing trans informed healthcare. But it is important to keep perspective on what we have gained overall and stay vigilant about protecting our rights. After decBu tt in Tok y o ades of lack of care, in the US the Affordable Care If you are heading to JaOver the course of the Act, which most people regular session the bill was pan for the 2020 Olympics, there you should be know as ObamaCare herrevised numerous times alded a new era in trans but the regulations related able to pee in peace, at healthcare when it prohibto bathroom use remained least if you pick the right sport. The city, which will ited classifying gender largely unchanged. The host the upcoming 2020 identity as a pre-existing revised bill ultimately did not pass during the regu- Olympics and Paralympics, condition. It went further and stated that insurance lar legislative session. But will consider building at least one unisex toilet in 7 companies were not altrans Texans haven’t lowed to discriminate missed that bullet yet. On of the 11 venues being based on gender identity, June 6, Gov. Greg Abbott built by the city government. Larger facilities will making it a requirement revived the issue by anthat insurance companies see a few of the nouncing that bathroom transgender-friendly toilets apply the same neutral, regulations would be on nondiscriminatory criteria installed. (Here’s hoping the agenda for a special

JULY 26TH 7:30-8:30

ONLINE @T TR@NSVINE

News Trans Need A t le a st s he g o t o ut victed felon, it will be part of the rest of If you are like us and wonder about the daily routine of the 2nd most famous trans person in the world, well, there is good news and not so good news.

her life, and because the sentence included a dishonourable discharge, she may lose all of the benefits normal to vets. She is appealing parts of her sentence and the final outcome is still not determined. More info and links on line at http://xqq.ca/news/

A nd t h e wo r ld d id n’ t e nd

WEDNESDAY AUGUST 23 7:30—8:30

The good news is that Chelsea Manning is out of prison and free to once again indulge her Starbucks addiction. She is also firing up the New York art scene with a collaboration with Heather Dewey-Hagborg that includes a series of masks of her face that include her DNA. Her comment at the opening reflected on her seven years in prison. “Prisons try very hard to make us inhuman and unreal by denying our image, and thus our existence, to the rest of the world. Imagery has become a kind of proof of existence. The use of DNA in art provides a cutting edge and a very postmodern — almost ‘post-post-modern’ — analysis of thought, identity, and expression. It combines chemistry, biology, information, and our ideas of beauty and identity.” Sounds like trans art to us! The not so good news is that she was not pardoned by Obama, her sentence was commuted which means legally she is still guilty of the charges. Like any con-

If you are like me and all thumbs managing your Google feed, you would think that even the slightest shift off the binary should result in either killer tsunami waves washing us away or some kind of zombie apocalypse starting tomorrow. Those same channels have been a buzz about how many Canadians will be facing criminal charges as result of Bill C 16 when they mispronoun someone. And really, does Jordan Peterson really have nothing else to do? Like, teach? Maybe its better if he doesn’t. And why does Toronto keep hucking one dysfunctional person after another into the national consciousness? Weirdly enough, the doomsday clock did not advance by several minutes when the State of Oregon made it possible for a person to choose a third option, X for the gender marker on their drivers license. Even more strange was the fact that after being liberated from their previous gender markers, these X designated drivers did not lose control of their vehicles due to this change in a letter on their license. More info and links on line at http://xqq.ca/news/

News Trans Need Your mother should know A British firm seems to believe that it is

important to continue the work on reAs we head down to the store login to ducing the birthrates in 1st World countries. As well, to make sure there is not Amazon to pick up our remastered 50th anniversary copy of Sgt. Peppers, even the smallest crevice of privacy left in our lives, they are planning to offer a we are reminded again that the Fab ‘Fitbit Condom’. Actually it is a sensor Four still nails the reverb echo of life. ring that one can place on their penis According to a recent survey, your mother probably does know, and actu- whether or not one is wearing a conally perhaps more than you ever will. If dom. The pre-order page (really? you you are in your twenties it is likely that want to be the first?) says that the deyour mom has had more sex with more vice will record people than you ever will. ⇒ What's my thrust velocity? A generation ago, nearly 60 percent of female teens had gotten it on with someone, a number that dropped by 14 percent by 2013. The guys aren’t doing much better with virginity among male teens increasing by 22 percent over the same time span. And it doesn’t seem to be something you will grow out of. Thirty percent of people in their twenties are virgins and even those who figured it out still are not having much sex. According to a survey of 33,000 people completed by Match.com in 2015, nearly 50 percent of twenty somethings hadn’t had sex with another person for a year. Time to quit tweaking on your phone, get out, go somewhere new and meet someone new. Your generation is counting on you. :) More info and links on line at http:// xqq.ca/news/ If that didn’t spoil the mood Life continues to prove one of nature’s most enduring Golden Rules, that is, just because you can invent something doesn’t mean that you should.

⇒ How fast are my thrusts?

Before we sign off We just need to include our regular f*ck you, to Milos and every other cisgender, mansplaining dipshit that feels an ongoing compulsion to use up all the air in the room with their views on issues they know little about and are too lazy to do anything about. Here is hoping that an enduring bromance springs up between Milos and Jordan and they retire together to some Greek island.

Since Jon Stewart retired, the cohort of his regular sidekicks have been pursuing their separate interests with somewhat ⇒ How many times did I just have sex? uneven results and we miss that regular ⇒ What's my girth? moment where someone just says ⇒ How many different positions did I just what we are thinking. Still, they do get conquer? in some good licks, like this one where We are really looking forward to a new Larry Wilmore best explains what Milos series of Facebook posts full of even should do with his time. More info and more intimate life details that no one links on line at http://xqq.ca/news/ really needs to know. More info and links on line at http://xqq.ca/news/ ⇒ How many calories did that sesh just burn?

News Trans Need I do not wish to comment on UVic Pride's decision, nor on the validity of the counter movements I mentioned herein. The Intersectionality of Pride They will do what they feel they must, for good or ill. I will however mention two * This article is a companion piece / related thoughts that I have when discontinuation of the Editor's Message, cussing these issues. First, is that it's imlocated at the front of this issue. portant to remember that Pride was not The exacerbating factor behind the pre- conceived as a celebration. It started as a vailing, public image of Pride, is that it is protest. It was never about having a pabeing fueled by large corporate donarade. It was about having a march to tions and branding... (This rainbow has counter the public and law enforcebeen brought to you by ACME Corp. ment's views that LGBT people were When you think gay widgets, think: AC- sexually deviant freaks and deserving of ME). And getting into bed with univiolence or even death. After all, that's formed police officers. Hey! Don't they what the Stonewall Inn uprising was all have a record of beating the shit out of about. A marginalized community that queers? And now all they have to do is just had enough! put on rainbow pins and march in our At the same time though, I feel that Pride parade as besties? also needs to be about peacemaking. It Now, combine all of that with KimberlĂŠ needs to win the hearts and minds of its Williams Crenshaw and Patricia Hill Col- detractors, which is difficult to accomlins's theories surrounding an interlock- plish when people don't understand ing matrix of oppression, and you have where you're coming from and then you one hell of a storm brewing. Now it's not fuel that with a sense of rage and indigjust the oppression of a few gay men. nation through protests. It's about makNow Black Lives Matter too. The casual ing people understand that we are observer will look at this and think, YOUR siblings, parents, children, and WTF?! What does the Black Lives Matter members of your community. We are movement have to do with gays and your teachers, students, doctors, and lesbians marching through the streets? nurses. We are the people who cut your Are Black people all gay? Are gay people hair and do your nails, take away your all Black? And while that may be the trash, write your websites, take your phonatural reaction and thought process of tos, and sell you your veggies. We need many, the answer is far less obvious. to make attacks on our community no They actually have more in common less disgusting and unacceptable than if it than you think. It's not one group simply were your own flesh and blood. We co-opting another's cause. The term in need the community to react with indigquestion is: intersectionality. And a rapid- nant anger when our rights are violated ly evolving opinion is that unless your and taken away. And the take-home movement is intersectional, it's dead in message is that whether it's a person of the water. colour being beaten senseless by the

police for being who they are, or homophobes beating up a gay couple for kissing in public, injustice is injustice. And we need everyone. Not just other members of the LGBTQ+ community, but cis-het soccer moms, Caucasian students who may never met a Black person.... EVERYONE to be on the same side and realize that a loss of civil rights in any arena is tantamount to an attack on them, personally, and should be treated as such. That is the spirit of intersectionality that society needs to start to understand. That is what I learned this year when I visited Fort St. John. The North Peace Pride Society is in its infancy. 2017 saw the community's SECOND Pride Walk ever! In fact, the organizers there are still amazed that Pride even happened. For those who don't quite understand the significance of this, you have to realise that Fort St. John is a DEEPLY conservative community. People there, consisting primarily of farmers, oil company workers, loggers, and so on, are fundamentally religious, and the very thought of a bunch of gays invading their traditional, peaceful lives is very intimidating at best. The mayor's office fielded a number of complaints opining that Pride should be disallowed from gathering and marching through the city's streets. I should mention here, that these complaints weren't even about anything practical. I mean, I would (sort of) understand if someone were upset that the street was being closed off for a parade they didn't believe in, or that the park where they took their kids every Sunday was booked for a special event... But no. Both this year and last year's Pride events were actually WALKS -- that is to say, no

News Trans Need streets were blocked off. Everyone marched down the sidewalks and no traffic was inconvenienced for the event. The park where the festival was held was only booked for a few hours. Then it was back to normal. No, the complaints were about the LGBTQ+ community's very right to exist. It was about their very presence. It was people simply saying, "we don't want your kind here!" Thankfully, City Hall's response involved erecting a new flagpole to fly a rainbow flag, and the mayor speaking a message of support at the Pride Festival. When you live in a place where Pride has become a part of the landscape... Washington D.C., New York, Vancouver, Victoria... It's easy to lose sight of the fact that our situation is very different. While we complain about privilege (cishet, male, Caucasian...) we forget to check our own! It's nice to be in a place where we can debate whether or not uniformed police should be allowed to participate in Pride. It's nice to have the ability to yell at large corporations to get out of our Pride events. Fact is though, that in Fort St. John, the very things we yell at in Victoria are their very lifeblood. If it weren't for big banks stepping up as major sponsors, Pride in Fort St. John wouldn't have even happened. As for the police, I for one was VERY happy for their presence. Not only did they make us feel safe and protected from what could be a hostile community, it sent a message to that same community that the police were on our side. And that was just as important for the community to understand as it related

to the companies that sponsored the event. It lent legitimacy to the organization and its participants. Now it's not just a handful of sexually deviant freaks anymore. Now you have dozens of bank employees, all wearing company T-shirts carrying a rainbow flag down the street. And the biggest victory here is the normalisation of being LGBTQ+. It's about being recognised and accepted by the community. It's about changing hearts and minds.

true to Pride's original intent and history, we are not well served by villainising them (even though they make easy targets). Remember that even global corporations are ultimately made up of people and it is those people that we need to reach. Law enforcement are likewise made up of people, many of whom are also members of the LGBTQ+ community themselves. The way forward should be positive for eveI had a wonderful experience at Fort St. ryone. This is where it also becomes beJohn Pride. It wasn't a large event, but ing about having a place at the table for there were still a few hundred people not only the LGB letters of the rainbow, who attended and marched. There but for the "T" too. That's what taking were plenty of allies on hand too. And I back the "T" also implies (among other felt very heartened at the positive shows things). We are better together, and I of support, from smiles and hugs, to the would hope that all the involved and honks and waves of cars passing by. I interested parties are able to sit down in made some new friends and was thrilled the spirit of peace and find common to share the relief and joy of the local ground. LGBTQ+ community at their newfound ability to declare that they were there, queer, and proud -- in spite of everything and everyone who might tell them otherwise. The sense I got, was that if they saw the kinds of things we were debating about in Victoria, their response might be, "we should be so lucky to have THOSE issues."

This is ultimately my wish and desire for Victoria Pride. That is, in its search for intersectionality, remembering the importance of bridge-building and peacemaking with the community at large, and the establishment. For starters, I don't think the answer lies in making enemies out of corporations and law enforcement. While me must remain

AUGUST 30

Ramblings of an Pride Society, I resigned as I find myself amongst those who cannot accept the way its directors go about our community’s business. Putting together the cover for this year’s pride edition gave me pause to consider how to summarize the changes in my relationship with the Victoria Pride society over the last year in a way that was respectful, equitable, healthy and healing. Uppity Queers are not of the ilk of Gandhi et al., so it has proven to be a challenge.

Don’t get me wrong, a strong relationship between the LGBTQ community and business is an important ingredient in a healthy community. It is also true that larger organizations like the major sponsors of the Victoria Pride Society often are leaders in promoting diversity. Many community members whose diversity is visible rely on their commitment The story of that change centers on our to equity in employment. So Take Back Take Back the T event. We are promot- the T was not a comment on them, it ing it for the second year as a trans com- was a comment on the rest of us. munity event at the Victoria Pride PaOur community celebration of diversity rade. Like last year, people are asking and inclusion, the Victoria Pride Parade what is this all about. This year it is a and Festival, costs tens of thousands of question, not a statement, and more dollars each year. One of my bosses had about that in a minute. his own take on the Golden Rule, which Last year, Take back the T had a related was, “those who have the gold, make but different meaning. Like many in the the rules”, and while the dozens of inkind sponsorships, such as our own LGBTQ community, I have concerns about the commercialization of the Pride Pride insert are important, cash is king. Not all can be gifted and for those things season, and it was a tongue in cheek comment on the relationship between one needs the coin of the realm. the Victoria Pride Society and its major For the Victoria Pride Society, it comes sponsor. It also turned out to be the rock from two sources, the beer garden and in the queer sneaker of life, when a sponsors who contribute actual cash. slight annoyance becomes something Some will comment at this point—that’s that stops the parade until the shoe comes off and the pebble is shaken out the problem in itself—a type of event that costs thousands. The Alt Pride Festiinto the dust. And so, after two and a val shows that there are ways to celehalf years as a director of the Victoria

brate the Pride season that is community based and costs much less. Ohers have concerns about relying on revenue from the sale of alcohol. At the root of these concerns is the question of what Pride is all about anyway. A celebration? A protest? My view is that anyone who is certain of that answer is someone who is not comfortable with ambiguity, a constant in the course of human affairs. What is not ambiguous and observable is what Islanders do each year. What they do is show up at the parade, wander around the festival, and perhaps have a beer or two. In other words, Pride is what we collectively decide it is, a decision that belongs to everyone and to no one in particular, the very essence of ambiguity. We who choose to give service to the community by making Pride events happen each year, first have the obligation to understand the common ownership of Pride, and as such, we are the caretakers of the community agreement, not the authors of it. Our responsibility is to discern what the current agreement is, where it is heading, keep a record of what it was past, and most of all, preserve for the future, similar choices and resources as we ourselves received. The Victoria Pride Society has several tiers of sponsorship. Currently, the top tier, the Presenting sponsorship is valued at $15,000 and Platinum, the next below

SATURDAY SEPTEMBER 16 10:30– 2:30 ALL GENDERS AND FAMILIES WELCOME SONGHEES WELLNESS CENTRE INFO AT XQQ.CA/CALENDAR

U p p i t y Q u e e r Wo m a n it, at $10,000. A glance at any Victoria Pride advertising and it is obvious what the presenting sponsor gets for their $5,000. At the core of Take Back the T last year was the proposal that it simply was not a very good deal for the community to trade control over its branding for a mere $5,000. $30,000? Maybe. While the overbranding irks me as a community member, the poor deal it represents really bothers me as a business person . No one sponsor ‘presents’ any Pride event. It is the effort of dozens of people and equally, the participation of all who attend. This combination of effort and participation creates a community brand that businesses like to be associated with, and so they sponsor the events. And within reasonable limits, it’s fair they get credit for doing so. The issue is a matter of degree. Many find commercial overbranding the epitome of what is wrong minded about many Pride organizations, it’s the straw that breaks the camel’s back in the effort to carry a mess of pottage. Last year, Take Back the T was a strategy to eliminate just the “Presenting” level of sponsorship and make Platinum the top tier. It required developing a broader base of sponsorship revenue including advertisement and community fundraising. The goal was to reposition Pride branding standards to be in line with other festivals like JazzFest. But it created the risk of losing sponsors all together. Back to my bosses’ Golden Rule, you can’t say no when you have to say yes. . Last year, this effort to democratize the revenue base for Pride created opposition from some board members. Follow the money they say. Change funding sources and it changes who benefits. This can feel threatening to those who

benefit from the status quo. This year, any hope of a fresh start was extinguished when those opposed doubled down, making it clear that such suggestions and the people making them were not welcome. In a flurry of words best left in the past, we parted ways, relieving me of the obligation of public solidarity with a board I no longer agreed with.

means. The question is how do we help these moments happen? It requires us to make the community the priority, not the sponsors nor the money.

Next year? Best left to the tides of fate to see what washes ashore. Until then This left a number of initiatives in the air, there is plenty of leaning in to do. After but the remaining board quickly sorted two and half years, I know that it does those out in a baby and bathwater kind take a village. It’s the only thing that of way. Q Town, cancelled. Community works. Engagement Committee, cancelled. Whatever each of us think Pride should Event Program Guide, cancelled. This left be, today it is a civic event that generates the folks who wanted to continue the and spends tens of thousands of dollars. trans and allies section in the parade The Victoria Pride Society announced uncertain of what to do. Should we parthis year their investment of $20,000 in ticipate or head off to Alt Pride with evea new $1,000 / year bursary for a post ryone else? After a bit of contemplation secondary student. There are many othand communing with the Goddess, er needs in the LGBTQ community, and came the understanding that Take Back our Pride event is the best shot for supthe T is as relevant today as it was last porting them. What are your priorities? year. This is not a difference of opinion between the community and sponsors, There are always things that need to it is difference of opinion between parts change, and people who wish that they of the community and the current Pride didn’t. People who don’t see the need board. It is a difference of opinion, in our for a different way of doing things. People who don’t want the complexity of community, of what Pride is all about. building agreement in a diverse commuThis year, when we chat about Take nity. People who don’t see that active Back the T, what gets mentioned is the LGBTQ participation is an essential ingrescene from the Sense8, Season 1, set in dient to keep the broader community a SF Bay area pride festival. The healthy. And there are those who see a Wachowskis captured the moment need for a new approach to keep up where Pride is time and place we all feel with the changes already happening. empowered, not in spite of our diversity, One only needs to glance around at the but because of it. change in our old but young city and see It is the day when a young trans person the forces that are sweeping us to a who, by being there, seeing their complace we don’t yet know. The flood is munity, feels ok to be themselves. here, and our feet are wet. It is when allies and community memTake back the T, we need it to stay bers through sharing support for each afloat. other, feel hope that everyone’s lives will work out. That’s what Take Back the T

A N e x u s o f To p i c s ,

TransVine is a safe, secure online discussion forum for anyone who self identifies as trans/non-binary, their families and allies. We are not big on labels – we leave them to others. What we do see is a need for everyone to have some idea of whom they are talking to – so we are using badges. A badge is a little color button on your Vine user icon. You pick a badge when you sign up for your leaf. You also pick a region which helps us provide better information and support. If you live in Kamloops you don’t need info about Nanaimo. Manners matter. TransVine is a moderated nexus and behaviour that has a negative impact results in intervention. You will find the group agreement documents on the Vine.

TransVine connects community members within regions and across regions. TransVine connects people in regions such as people on the MidCoast with other people on the MidCoast. TransVine connects people who are meeting face to face and those who are not quite ready to take that step. There are 13 regions that cover BC and the Salish Sea. TransVine also connects people across regions with topics of interest and concern. Many of us are in a state of transition related to our gender. Or we are someone who has not begun any changes but wants to understand the complications of transition. Or we are supporting someone in transition. On TransVine it does not matter how you identify, whether queer, non-binary, cis, trans, etc. No one transitions by themselves. All of us need information to be effective.

Pick your leaf and get comfy!

Go to xqq.ca/transvine to get started!

T h i n k i n g & Te c h

Group Parallel Thinking is also known as the Six Thinking Hats. It is a type of sharing where we each try on the same Thinking Hat to consider something from the same point of view. Each hat represents a different way of thinking about something. The Six Thinking Hats was developed by Edward de Bono in the 1970's and is used around the world by all kinds of groups to think together. We try on the Six Hats online on TransVine and at face-to-face support meetings. We connect it all up with a column in XQQ magazine

IMAGINATION

OVERVIEW

FACTS

FEELINGS

BENEFITS ANALYSIS

TransVine is hosted on Discord and Twist. We like Discord because it is free, provides excellent audio quality in the voice channels and is not Facebook. We like Twist because it allows for slower ongoing conversations between people who cannot meet at the same time. If you are new to Discord or Twist you can find out more about them online. If you are already a user, you will get the server link when you sign up.

Regional Pride Campbell River

July 22-

North Island Pride was established to provide a framework to organize the Campbell River Pride Festival. The first festival was held in 2015, and it was an extension of the work done by Kelly Whiteside with the annual Walk Away From Homophobia. The goal is to help educate on LGBTQ issues, create safe spaces, and celebrate diversity. Contact: northislandpride@gmail.com or Facebook facebook.com/northislandpride

July 23 2017 Alberni Valley Pride Fest

C o m o x Va l le y Sunday August 13th Comox Valley Pride's 1st Annual Golf Tournament

2017 Pride - 19+ Dance and Show, Cherry Creek Hall, tickets available soon! $20 admission. Performers: Conni Smudge, Persi Flage, Lola Maneata. Tickets can be purchased via e-pay to albernivalleypride@gmail.com

Free Fun for everyone, family-oriented. Recreation Park (by Gyro Youth Centre) Noon until 4 PM Contact facebook.com/albernivalleypride

N a n a im o ...annnnnnnd all together now! Thank you, thank you, thank you...

Come out and show your support of Comox Valley Pride while having some fun in the sun. This is a "best ball" tournament therefore, little or no experience required! Register as a team of 4 or individual More info facebook.com/comoxvalleypride2016 or info@comoxvalleypride.ca ...to our Sponsors and Partners - because without your unconditional love and support, we wouldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have a Pride at all. Crosswalk initiative passed unanimously, Your efforts allow us to advocate, eduwe are getting one before or on our cate, and empower all people about isPRIDE! City will be raising a rainbow flag sues that continue to affect our commuon July 23rd as well. Will let all you Port nity. We are so incredibly humbled and Alberni folks, including those of you who grateful for everything you have done for don't live here anymore, when the actual us. installation/placement date is for the July 31 crosswalk!!! Time to come home for a Drag Bingo hosted by *drum roll* bit!

Alberni Valley

Grab life by the bingo balls and get ready

Happenings for another crazy night of belly laughs with our bonafide, certafide, expert ball handlers. Will be they be calling YOUR number? You'll have to come to The Vault to find out! ;) $5 cover gets you your first two cards, and then it's $2/card for every card after that. All the money raised will be going directly to your lovely beautiful friends at the Nanaimo Pride Society. This is one of our most popular fundraisers and seating is limited - so get there before the game starts at 8!

Loading starts at 6:45 at the Coast Hotel (146 Kingston Street), courtesy of Orca with two stages of entertainment, a beer garden, a food court, a giant venSpirit Adventures dor area, and kids’ camp! ABSOLUTELY NO SMOKING An evening boat cruise around our city’s Contact harbour and farther. Enjoy the company http://victoriapridesociety.org/ or facebook.com/VictoriaPrideSociety of friends while making new ones, a drink (or drinks), and the amazing view Be ll ingha m on a three-hour tour.

July 7 Pride Dance Dance the night away at the annual Queer Prom presented by Bellingham Pride, Whatcom County PFLAG and V ic to r ia Make.Shift. Music, dancing, drag queens, games, Victoria Pride Society’s Pride in the Word The Annual Memorial Dragball Game activities, and Pride merch will all be is Canada’s largest Pride festival literary FREE | ALL AGES there; will you? event. Each year it showcases both Saturday July 1 | Noon July 8 some of proudest and most talented Vic West Ball Park @ Bay St & Wilson, Bellingham Pride Family Picnic writers from Victoria and across the across from Save on Foods Maritime Heritage Park500 W Holly St, country and is always a great time. Bellingham, Washington 98225 The perfect sunny day to play a game of This year’s event takes place at the Amball in drag, or picnic in the park while July 9 brosia Conference Centre, a wheelchair watching the entertainment! From our humble beginnings in 1999 accessible venue. with just a half-dozen picnic tables at The Big Gay Dog Walk The Victoria Pride Parade Fairhaven Park to what we see today, FREE | ALL AGES FREE | ALL AGES Bellingham Pride has grown to become Sunday July 2 | Noon Sunday July 9 | NEW 11AM start time the second largest pride event in WashDallas Road Dog Park Pandora & Government to James Bay ington State. Through local support and Gather and mingle with your furry activism, we’ve been able to organize friends! Join us on a big gay group dog Watch over 100 colourful groups & festivals, parades, youth events, and walk, play some games, show off your floats, or march yourself with local businesses, non-profits, the LBGTQ commu- various other outreach activities which style, and check out some gear! And now host over 10,000 participants anyes, you are welcome even if you don’t nity & their allies in Victoria’s 2nd biggest nually. have a doggie companion of your own! parade of the year. We'll start at the corner of Halleck St. The Victoria Pride Festival Noon – Gather & mingle and Ohio St. continuing along Cornwall. FREE | ALL AGES 12:30 – Group dog walk We take a turn NE on W. Chestnut until 1:30 – Costume and trick contests with Sunday July 9 | Noon we meet Railroad Avenue. From there, MacDonald Park @ 212 Niagara St, prizes! floats continue up Chestnut and people James Bay turn down Railroad to find the main Victoria Pride Sunset Boat Cruise Pride Festival at Market Depot Square! After the parade, join thousands of peo$40 | 19+ Only ple and enjoy our multi-faceted festival, Contact facebook.com/bellingham.pride Sunday July 2 | 7PM Pride in the Word 2017 $13 | ALL AGES & ACCESSIBLE Saturday July 8 | Doors: 6:30PM | Event: 7PM Ambrosia Conference Centre @ 638 Fisgard St

P r e s e n t a s Yo u I n t e n d Where are you working now?

With this issue we caught up with Blair who learned hair styling after driving big rigs for many years. How did you get into styling? I grew up in northern Ontario in the Thunder Bay area. The US border was a 40 minute drive, and Minneapolis was the biggest city in the area. Winnipeg was two hours further away. I spent time around Minneapolis quite a bit when I was younger. It's just a great city. I used to hang out at Prince's club, back in the day. Originally it was called Uncle Sams, but when he bought it, he changed the name. It was a multi-dimensional, so much fun club. Prince was always kind of androgynous, to say the least. The original Aveda was in Minneapolis. I used to walk by it and thought that it looked like a cool place. It was in an older building like the Aveda in Victoria and it inspired me to think that Wouldn't it be cool to do hair for a living? What makes styling cool to you?

When we talk about trans women and their hair, not all of us transition early in life and our hair shows the impact of decades of testosterone. Aveda products are great and have a great natural base, but they are expensive. At Island Haircutting, we have a range of products I do recommend, including minoxidil. This range of products runs from the high end to ones What are the challenges? that are more affordable, overall they Being trans and working in the public like average about one third the price for Avethat I have what I call the blink opportuni- da products. They all work but you have ty of making people feel comfortable. to use them as directed to get the results. Because they can tell. It's about a blink Any other advice about hair? long where you can show people that you are comfortable with yourself , and Everyone has different hair. Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t hate then they can be comfortable with you. If your hair. When people get older they you are not comfortable with yourself, it sometimes expect the hair we had when turns into an awful thing. I am proud to we were young, and it just is not going to be a woman and I am also proud to be a be. But there are things you can do. trans woman. It is a great industry to be Come see me and we will figure out out in the public where people see you, what is best for you all generations. I have older clients and Island Haircutting younger clients. It's one of those things 4446 W Saanich Rd where you are what you are. The only Victoria, BC V8Z 3E9 (250) 744-5001 way people will accept you is if you accept yourself. Be sure to ask for Blair Now I am out at Island Hair Cutters in the Royal Oak mall. It's a great group of people I work with out there. Overall it has been a really positive experience. I am building clientele out there and some of my clientele from Aveda are finding me and coming back to me.

How does being trans help you?

It's easier for me to approach people as a woman than it ever was as a guy. Since people didn't know anything about this side of me (before social transition) I always felt like I was lying to them, fooling them because I How did you get started ? was acting like a guy. Being out in It took me years, but I did finally get to go the public and doing hair for two to school at the Aveda in Victoria. The years, I have only had three incidents training lasted for 10 months, five days a where people freaked out. It hapweek. It was a challenge. I went from pens, it's going to happen, there will being a heavy haul oversize truck driver always be those kind of people out making over $100,000 a year to making there. nothing. It's a change. Even though I don't work there anymore, it was a good You were always telling me to try the Aveda product line, what are you school. What I find attractive about doing hair is that when you do people's hair, it makes them feel good, which in turn makes you feel good. And you get paid for it.

recommending these days?

PREFERS YOU DONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T USE

OUR UN- OFFICIAL GUIDE TO PRIDE THE UN-AUTHORIZED PROGRAM AND EVENT GUIDE OF THE VICTORIA PRIDE PARADE AND FESTIVAL

CANADA’S LARGEST PRIDE FESTIVAL LITERARY EVENT

Ivan Coyote is the author of eleven books, the creator of four short films, six full-length live shows, and three albums that combine storytelling with music. A longtime Pride in the Word favourite, Ivan will be reading from their new book Tomboy Survival Guide, which was named an American Library Association Stonewall Honour Book. This Fall Ivan will be given an Honorary Doctorate of Laws at Simon Fraser University for their writing and activism.

Jillian Christmas lives on the unceded territories of the Squamish, Tsleil-Waututh and Musqueam people, where she is Artistic Director of Versəs Festival of Words. An enthusiastic organizer, Jillian focuses Adèle Barclay’s debut poetry her energy on increasing anticollection, If I Were in a Cage oppression initiatives in spoken I’d Reach Out for You, word. She has worked in part(Nightwood, 2016) won the nership with the University of 2017 Dorothy Livesay Poetry British Columbia, Vancouver Prize at the BC Book Awards. Opera, and more, performing She is also the recipient of the and facilitating workshops Vancouver-based Brett Josef 2016 Lit POP Award for Poetry across the country." Grubisic teaches at UBC's Deand the 2016 Walrus Readers’ partment of English. The auChoice Award for Poetry. She thor of essays, short stories, recently completed her PhD at and books (including three the University of Victoria, and novels: The Age of Cities, This is Critic-in-Residence for CanaLocation of Unknown Possibilidian Women in Literary Arts. ties, and From Up River and For She is a proud feral femme, One Night Only), he's also been and lives just a short sea plane reviewing books and interviewride away in Vancouver. ing writers for decades.

Billeh Nickerson is the author of five books including the City of Vancouver Book Award nominated Artificial Cherry. He is also a founding member of the performance troupe Haiku Night in Canada, and a silver medalist at the Canadian Gay Curling Championships. He lives in Vancouver, but kissed his first boy in Victoria. He has lost count of how many times he has hosted Pride in the Word. It’s by far his favourite event in the country.

JOIN THIS YEAR’S AWARD WINNING ARTISTS AND AUTHORS

Robin Stevenson is an award winning Canadian author of twenty novels for kids and teens. Her nonfiction book Pride: Celebrating Diversity and Community is a 2017 Stonewall Honor book, and has been nominated for numerous awards including the Sheila A. Egoff Award at this year’s BC Book Awards. She lives in Victoria with her partner Cheryl, their son Kai, and their cats, Noah and Mojang.

beni xiao was born and raised in the Toronto suburbs but now resides in Vancouver. Their work has appeared in Room Magazine and they have also been featured by Sad Magazine, Can't Lit, and the Real Vancouver Writer Series. In their spare time they like to scream and get bad grades in school. Beni is very gay and also very excited to share a space with you.

SATURDAY JULY 8 AMBROSIA CENTRE

6:30

WAS A DEDICATED, INCLUSIVE, QUEER AND TRANS INTERACTIVE CHILL SPACE AT VICTORIA PRIDE FESTIVAL THE Q TOWN ORGANIZERS ARE BUSY THIS YEAR BUT WE OFFERED TO GET THE VENUE UP FOR THE CUDDLE TENT AND QUEER BODY WORK NO THANKS, VICTORIA PRIDE SOCIETY TOLD US SO WE TOOK IT OFF THE FESTIVAL MAP WE WANT Q TOWN TO HAPPEN NEXT YEAR BUT IT WONâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;T UNLESS YOU LET VICTORIA PRIDE YOU WOULD TOO LOGIN AND VOTE AT

XQQ.CA/QTOWN

2017 PRIDE STAGE PERFORMERS MAIN STAGE

BEER GARDEN

NOON

1:00

2:00

3:00

4:00

5:00

WE THOUGHT PEOPLE AT THE FESTIVAL WOULD APPRECIATE HAVING A PROGRAM FOR THE AFTERNOON AND THE PERFORMERS MIGHT LIKE A BIT OF PROMOTION NO THANKS, VICTORIA PRIDE SOCIETY TOLD US SO WE MADE A FILL IN THE BLANKS ONE FOR YOU WE WOULD LIKE TO PROMOTE AND THANK THE PERFORMERS WHO PUT IN THE TIME AND EFFORT TO ENTERTAIN YOU LET VICTORIA PRIDE YOU WOULD TOO LOGIN AND VOTE AT

XQQ.CA/STAGE

LOOK FOR US NEXT YEAR

ARTWORK BY ELLIOT LANGE

2017 FESTIVAL VENDORS PLEASE REGISTER US FOR A LISTING IN THE 2018 PRIDE VENDOR FESTIVAL GUIDE NAME ADDRESS EMAIL TYPE / SERVICE / PRODUCT PHONE DROP THIS OFF AT THE RAINBOW HEALTH BOOTH OR EMAIL TO EDITOR@XQQ.CA

WE THOUGHT THE VENDORS WHO SHOW UP EACH YEAR FOR THE PRIDE DESERVED A MENTION AND A THANK YOU AND FOLKS AT THE FESTIVAL SHOULD KNOW WHO IS THERE NO THANKS, VICTORIA PRIDE SOCIETY TOLD US SO WE MADE A SELF â&#x20AC;&#x201C;REGISTRATION FORM FOR NEXT YEAR WE WOULD LIKE TO PROMOTE AND THANK THE VENDORS WHO PUT IN THE TIME AND EFFORT TO SHARE PRIDE WITH YOU LET VICTORIA PRIDE YOU WOULD TOO LOGIN AND VOTE AT

XQQ.CA/VENDOR

WIN A PAIR OF ROUND TRIP TICKETS TO SEATTLE ABOARD THE CLIPPER IT’S SIMPLE 1—VISIT YOUR FAVORITE VENDORS AT THE FESTIVAL 2—COLLECT ONE LETTER FROM EACH AND FILL IN BELOW 3—DROP OFF AT THE RAINBOW HEALTH BOOTH AT PRIDE

F I L L I N A L L S I X L E T T E R S TO W I N B E S U R E TO F I L L I N T H E B A C K

WORDS AT PRIDE

NAME

ADDRESS EMAIL PHONE

Jun 26th Jul 2nd Jul M

W E D N E S D A Y

Jul

3rd—9th N

R I

W E D N E S D A Y T

10th—16th

Y W E D N E S D A Y

TRANS / NON-BINARY FOLKS WELCOME T H U R S D A Y

Victoria—Pride in the Word Ambrosia Centre Doors—6:30—$13 S

VICTORIA

Raising of the Pride & Trans ﬂags

S D

NOON Victoria City Hall ﬂagpoles S

11:00 Pride Parade Govt + Pandora

12:00 Pride Fes val

THE PASTOR COMES OUT AT CHURCH 4:30 pm, Sunday June 25 Shady Creek United Church,

D E T A I L S

Jul M

17th—23rd

Jul

24th—30th N

Jul 31st Aug 6th M

VANCOUVER Pride Parade and Fes val T

W E D N E S D A Y W E D N E S D A Y

W E D N E S D A Y

T T

G E T

Y O U R

S S

A S

T U

E V E N T

Stadacona Park Noon—4:00 S

F S

Y T

L I S T E D -

e v e n t s @ x q q . c a

Fa m i l i e s & Fr i e n d s Skagit Skagit PFLAG got out for a Decline to Sign 1552 rally in Mount Vernon on June 30. Their description—”We will be in front of the Court House on Kincaid Street on both sides of the street. We will stand single file and make sure we do not interfere with traffic or pedestrians entering businesses. We have lots of signs. If you bring one, we are family friendly and non-partisan. It is our hope that the Initiative will fail to get the needed signatures. We don't need hate in our state. Pictures from Seattle Pride More Skagit PFLAG info and pic on their Facebook page @ facebook.com/Skagit-Pflag

http://globalnews.ca/bc/program/ global-news-hour-at-6-bc/

Saanich

Thanks to those that came to our last meeting before the summer break – the cake was a real treat! PFLAG Victoria meets on the third Exciting news! The drop-in is officially changing our name to the 2Spirit, Queer, & Trans Youth Dropin! It will still run every Friday night from 5:30-10pm at the Upside Teen Centre in Saanich Commonwealth Place on W SÁNEĆ territories, plus the additional summer dates. :) PS Allies still welcome. Sunday each month from September to June at St John Divine on Quadra

Campbell River PFLAG Canada is a national charitable organization, founded by parents who wished to help themselves and family members understand and accept their nonheterosexual children. Through PFLAG Canada and Contact netV ic to r ia work, we actively assist in the recognition and growth of gay, lesWe have exciting news for our pa- bian, bisexual, transgender, transsexual, two-spirit, intersex, queer rade group – we will have some and questioning persons and their new signage to reflect the refamilies and friends, within their branding that PFLAG Canada has diverse cultures and societies. The just embarked on. Stay tuned for info on where we will be meeting. Campbell River chapter offers support via email and connection to other support groups on Vancouver In other news, our eldest and grandchild made the news today in Island. a big way. You can check out the articles at the following spots:

Join us at Commonwealth Pool on Saturday July 8th for a FREE youth Pride prom! This prom is all about being yourself - feel free to wear whatever you want, come with whoever you want and celebrate our amazing community together. Info @ www.facebook.com/2qtdropin

Physical Recently we hosted this year’s session on Your Body, Surgical Choices and Care, at the Songhees Wellness Centre. This was second time around, so it gets easier in some ways but not so much in other ways.

pect of transition, which is pretty much the opposite of how it is covered in the Hans Kai 4 Trans (HK4T).

While most of the misunderstanding was due to the din of the digital highway, it did make clear that we need to communicate the fundamentals that underlie the HK4T program outside of It was easier in that the materials from the sessions themselves. So here is the last year just needed to be updated, first fundamental. It is called "The Parawhich allowed more time to promote digm of Participation", a way of saying the session. Promotion today means Fa- that first, it is important to get on the cebook which is not conducive to mean- same page in terms of approach, releingful conversation. We got some feed- vancy and relationship. We use three back when we set out the promotional points to describe the boundaries of the postings which included this summary paradigm: for Your Body: ♦ Consensual—An anti-oppressive Frame-

All three are required to describe the paradigm boundaries. Like the points on a compass with many degrees between them, each is independent but also dependent on each other to be meaningful. Here we cover one of the three points, the Hans Kai Body of Knowledge. (HKBOK)

The HKBOK informs about best practices in self-care. It is the basis for a number of wellness programs from seniors to Zumba dancers. It is the core of Hans Kai 4 Trans, which is just one version in the overall Hans Kai program. The HBOK is both a content resource and a framework to organize what we continue to learn. It is a dynamic library of information, process and application interactwork of Robust Inclusion SURGERY IS THE MOST SIGNIFICANT STEP IN ing in an ongoing synthesis of adapting ♦ Comprehensive—The Hans Kai Body of PHYSICAL TRANSITION Knowledge A ONE WAY ROAD WITH A LOT OF OPTIONS principles to the specific. Rainbow ♦ Integrated—The Community Services WHEN WE UNDERSTAND THE OPTIONS Health’s focus is transition and gender Accord WE MAKE BETTER CHOICES wellness, so we group our version of the Each point represents a core component Some misinterpreted this as a statement HKBOK under three headings: in developing equitable, relevant comthat surgery is the most important as♦ The Core Series - Physical Transition munity programming.

Transition ♦ ♦

The Change Series - Personal Transition The Adjusting Series - Social Transition

These headings do not indicate a greater or lesser value of one over another. Like a person's body, the parts are distinct, but only when the parts are together is a person complete. Physical topics are not more or less important than Personal or Social, they are simply distinct but related The Core Series creates the base for the other two series. It is divided into eight topic areas, and we focus on one of them each quarter. ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

Your Hormones Your Gender Your Maintenance Your Healthcare Your Security Your Clan Your Body Your Balance

popularized in the movie, The Danish Girl. The story begins in the early days of the 20th century. At that time, the understanding of biochemistry was limited, but the difference between male and female animals was obvious. The early surgeries transplanted the internal sex organs of one animal into another, male gonads into females and vice versa. Once surgeries were successful, the animals displayed the sexual characteristics of the transplanted organs, leading to understanding the role of sex hormones in biology. It seems far-fetched now, but it took until the 1940's for endocrinology to be considered a valid medical discipline.

Today, we are faced with the intersection of social forces and the transformational nature of connectivity. At the swipe of a fingertip, we access extensive information about surgery, but there is no common name for this collection of surgical opYou can find the complete HBOK outline tions. Gender Reassignment (GRS), Sexuonline at XQQ.ca/hanskai. al Reassignment, (SRS) or Gender AffirmThere are many facets to transition relat- ing (GAS), to name just three. In a comed to one's gender experience. We distin- munity whose common denominator is trauma, most are hesitant to use any of guish the parts in order to provide relevant information. If you are interested in them and simply use the location specific hormones, you know where to look and Top or Bottom Surgery. which session to attend. Although they are designated by WPATH as the appropriate treatment for trans individuals, these surgeries are classified by healthcare systems as electives, further complicating access in medical systems structured to ration the delivery of all With all that said, if you stuck with me healthcare. this far, we have finally gotten to this quarter's topic, Your Body, Surgical Choices and Care. People managed their trans experience for tens of thousands of years before surgery and hormones became the accepted medical treatments for us. The history of how that came about was

♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦ ♦

How to access surgery Preparing for surgery Costs related to surgery Travelling for surgery Aftercare plans for surgery Recovering from surgery Life scheduling for surgery

Such factors are subject to current conditions, such as the disruption last year when the Brassard clinic in Montreal was firebombed. Current information is needed for anyone to make a useful choice, which is why we host at least one Your Body session each year. The Canadian trans community is privileged with an exceptional set of resources compared to other parts of the world, but each person still needs to sort through the complexity. Figuring out what is best for oneself is best accomplished to talking and listening to others who made similar decisions. The opportunity to do so is the important part of the Your Body sessions.

The surgical process is often a multi-year effort of overcoming frustrating obstacles. Both masculinizing and feminizing bottom surgery can involve multiple surgeries, each requiring months of recovery. Once a person's ovaries or testes are removed, there is no putting them back. These choices are right for some, but not everyone. Those who choose surgery, are choosing a major life change. These facOur session covers ten types of surgeries, tors are what makes us consider Surgery each with its own set of sub types. In a the most significant step in physical transithree hour session we present on the tion, a one way road with a lot of opelements common in all of them and tions. When you understand your choicdiscuss the parts that are unique. The es, you will make better decisions. common elements are:

Personal sits Personal . Our tag is: The biggest change is the one inside. This may sound like an ad from elevator music, but the change that happens inside us can be Many of the aspects of Physical and So- both excruciatingly sweet and incredibly painful. For some, our trans identity is the cial Transitions are elements of our lives that we have little influence over, but are most important thing we know about ourselves while wishing with all our heart deeply concerning to us. it wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t true. We long for the world An example from the Core Series are hormones. Hormone therapy will have its where we are valued for what we are, a effect on our bodies whether or not we yearning we share with many others regardless of gender. make a choice about the outcome. If their genetic markers contain the poWhen we assess the enormity of the tential, a person who exhibits feminine physical characteristics, such as no facial realms of Physical and Social transition, hair, and a thick head of hair begins tes- Personal transition seems dwarfed in tosterone, their facial hair will grow thick- comparison. It seems enclosed in a small castle besieged by two separate armies. er and their hairline will recede. It is a On one side our own bodies vibrating complex set of interwoven biochemical and genetic processes that pays no heed with chords of dissonance and on the to that bit of consciousness we regard as other, a world that cannot grasp that rarity is not the same as deviance. Beour unique self. tween the two, the castle of self does its best to protect us from the bombardIn a similar fashion, the Adjusting Series covers aspects of social transition that are ments, but if built of less than the sturdiest stones, we become damaged. beyond the boundaries of our personal selves. Their commonality with Physical And that gets us to this quarterâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s topic, Transition is that regardless of what we Change Your Options, Build a Selection want, there is a limit to what we can do about how the world works. We have to adjust to it and our friends and families have to adjust to our transition as well. Our healthcare systems mirror this and tend to manage us as a population with mental defects rather than just one more form of human variation necessary to evolution. Systems of rationed care have difficulty assigning resources to conditions not described as an illness. While There is little either you or I can do individually about this, the core of the Rainbow Health Co-operative is that together we can bring about change. In between Physical and Social Transition

of Change. How do we develop choice when we have no control over the menu?

Although the source of the issues we face are unique to our community, the issues themselves are ones we share with other people. The solutions can be shared as well. Everyone faces similar limited resources, and everyone is affected as much by their own attitudes as they are by the environmental constraints. As such, we can share common solutions to overcome obstacles. One approach shared by millions of people are the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People developed by Stephen Covey. To those who are not familiar with the 7 Habits, the name might suggest some kind of efficiency program, but they are actually the opposite. They speak to the fundamental principles that govern life, with the goal of helping people refocus on principles, rather than the shallower parts of ourselves, such as behaviour.

Transition Effectiveness is accomplishing the desired result, and most people in transition are trying to accomplish something, to bring about some kind of change. If you are going to do this, you might as well work towards the changes you intend as well as the ones that will happen of their own accord. During this quarter, as we consider the options and processes related to surgery, there are a several habits that fit. In practice they are the separate strings on a single instrument. Habit 2, Begin with the End in Mind, Habit 3, First Things First, fit well but instead, we return to Habit 1. Habit 1, Be Proactive, is taking responsibility for our lives. It is the awareness that we are the programmer, not the program. It is the awareness that the best way to predict the future is to create it. It is the awareness, as Covey puts it that “between what happens to us, stimulus, and our response to that stimulus is a space. In that space lies our freedom and

the power to choose our response, and Taking care of in those choices lies our growth and hap- ourselves requires more time and piness”. effort than that One of the most important things we required by many cis people. We choose choose are the words we use, not only how much time and effort we put into with others but more importantly our taking care of ourselves and how we feel own self talk. What we tell ourselves is a about having to do so. We can resent it good indicator of how we value ourand feel weak, or embrace it because we selves. As Blair says elsewhere in the magare worth every minute. We can accept azine, if you don’t accept yourself, others that this makes our priorities different won’t accept you, if you are not comfortfrom other people, or we can resent a life able with yourself, they won’t be either. that seems burdened with too much Covey visualizes the concept of proactivity time to just maintain ourselves. as two concentric circles, the Circle of Accepting that it is we, who are making Influence, and the Circle of Concern. the choices, and being proactive in makThere is little we can do to directly affect ing our choices is the keystone on which the Circle of Concern. We can’t do a lot we can build the castle walls of self that about the person who disses us, but we sustain us through the challenges of can choose how we respond. It isn’t as physical and social transition. We choose important what we choose to do as it is the biggest changes of all, the ones that being aware that we have the capacity to happen in ourselves. choose. No one chooses to be transgender but all of us choose what we do about it.

Social

Wednesday JULY 12 7:30-8:30

ONLINE @T TR@NSVINE

No one transitions alone. We all need help and support to get through it, and that is best found in a group of people facing the same challenges. But there are lots of reasons why some of us cannot be in the same room with others like ourselves. Some of us live in places that are not close by. Some of us live in the same city or town, but for personal reasons we are not able to join a face to face group. Sometimes it is simply not having the time to get out and get to a meeting. Life can be overwhelming for pretty much everyone somedays. That doesn’t mean we don’t have similar needs, it only means that sometimes it is more difficult to fulfill those needs. It’s also difficult to connect with trans folks across regions in a way that creates useful dialogue. Facebook has its role in helping people find each other and the platform of choice for rants, but finding useful information and conversation there tends to be accidental. As much as it

tends to connect people—it also tends to fragment them. In the Island region, there are at least a dozen different Facebook queer, trans, alternative pages or groups that have little to do with each other, except having some members in common. Google tried for awhile with

But once you find the services you need, you still have to decide what to do. Do you need an endocrinologist to manage hormone therapy as an adult? Do you really need someone to go with you if you travel for surgery? What are the choices for surgery? How many people are waiting ahead of you? Questions with answers that change all the time. If you are trying to figure it out, you really need a place where you can listen to the stories of others and pick out the bits that fit for you. We call it a ‘Venue for Informed Choice.’

Hangouts and Google+, and while it had some good tech, these never seemed to fit what people were looking for.

Informed choice is one of the buzzwords that originates in the World Professional Association for Transgender Health (WPATH) Standards of Care.

What we see consistently are trans people and their families having a hard time accessing information about transinformed care. With your help we hope to keep adding to the Rainbow Resources current and reliable information.

We like to frame it as being an informed consumer. Before most people buy a phone these days, they probably think about it for a couple of months. Do I really need to change my old phone? Should I get a plan or

Wednesday JULY 19 7:30-8:30

an unlocked

Transition phone? Which brand? It may seem a superficial comparison to medical choices, but how much time do people spend researching the risks of a life long regime of hormone therapy? We are more like Neo faced with the Red Pill or the Blue Pill, we rely on instinct.

time and attention.

The topic for this quarter, surgery, has three related Social discussions, Adjusting your junk, Adjusting your tickets and Adjusting your access. This topic is a bit different that the rest in that once its done, its done, but it is a process that Each person chooses what takes several years for most. works for them, and not every We choose how to make gender diverse person will pur- good use of the time we have. sue hormones or surgery. It may be true that most don’t. These are years where we But for the ones that do, these need to share the ups and are choices that need serious downs of going through the consideration. However, the process. We need perspective need for thoughtful (informed) on the obstacles to keep gochoice can seem surrounded ing. We need to pick up the by a chorus of screaming emo- shortcuts and avoid the pitfalls. tions pressing us forward to do We need help when we run something, anything. We into problems. need the perspectives of others to maintain perspective on If you have made it through ourselves. them all, please join us, we need hear how you did it. If We call these the Adjusting you are just starting—we need Series because we don’t think your questions, because tranthese are aspects of transition stion is a process in a constant that have a single answer. state of change and we need These are things we never to compare notes to get the really finish, but become part answers right. Join us online of our lives through transition on TransVine. and continue to require some

Wednesday JULY 26 7:30-8:30

R A I N B O W SALISH SEA Legal

NORTH SALISH > 50 Campbell River Support Groups

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Paramedical

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Recreation

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Salons

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GET LISTED AND LET THE LGBTQ2 COMMUNITY KNOW ABOUT YOUR SERVICES Or consider a display ad for better impact

R A I N B O W SALISH SEA Legal

NORTH SALISH > 50

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Campbell River

Food / Drink Do you run a queer friendly business? Let people know

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Fashion / Clothing

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LGBT2Q+ Peer Youth Group 250-202-6230 LauraM@jhsni.bc.ca

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Recreation

Mentors

campbellriver.ca/parks

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MID SALISH >49

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Comox Valley

Not ConďŹ rmed

Get a rainbow, remove ques on mark --email us

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Hans Kai 4 Trans 250-802-2737 walk.thetalk@live.ca iam here for you

Parksville

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Support Groups Alcoholics Anonymous 250-753-7513 nanaimoaa@shaw.ca

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SOUTH

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GET LISTED AND LET THE LGBTQ2 COMMUNITY KNOW ABOUT YOUR SERVICES Or consider a display ad for better impact

For the week of July 3—July 9 ARIES (March 21-April 19): Make more room for festively shooting the shit with pals and local characters, Aries, as a welcome antidote to your past couple weeks of less-socially-oriented, self-reflective brooding. You should find you now have a lot more to say… much of which may thankfully have little to do with whatever's recently had you mooning, mopey, or miffed. Better yet if you can surround yourself with folks who have plenty to say themselves, and who can point your shit-shooting sessions toward topics which don't demand much personal emotional investment from you. You'll support a positive outlook more solidly by engaging in witty repartee or unabashed ridiculousness rather than attempting deeper heart-to-hearts (only to find you've selected someone ill-equipped to provide the affirmation you need and/or that you lack the patience required for thoroughly detailing what's on your mind). See, even with the week's heartening astro-changes, Mars remains in your 4th as an inner-sphere irritant, inciter of out-of-whack reactions, and/or rebellious refuser of too much stifling 'support' from other. Keep your exchanges mostly frivolous or frolicsome, and you should be able to avoid spewing your feelings all over folks who don't deserve the dump. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): The theme of 'leaving well enough alone' I raised last week, Taurus, starts coming in even stronger this week… with a pair of planetary sign-changes (Venus and Mercury) meant to return your attention to more inward, private, and/or domestic-realm activities that'll address your emotional needs (rather than keep you intersecting and intertwining with others' competing concerns). Likewise, this is a good opportunity to regroup with regards to any very-recently-emerging ideas, initiatives, or involvements which now require affirmative reiteration, further clarification, and/or a deeper analysis (especially as far as potential costs, benefits, values, and methods are concerned). Don't, however, fool yourself into thinking there won't continue to be side-discussions or backroom-whispers you'll desperately want to insinuate your feedback into. Before you finish any remark that would begin with something like, 'I know I shouldn't say this, but…', please ask yourself exactly what you expect to gain from it. 'Just going on record' may not 'gain' you anything. In fact, it might exact a price. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Hail and welcome Venus, goddess of the spring-in-your-step and the dazzle-to-your-glow, to your sign early this week (Tue Jul 4), Gemini. For these next three weeks, you'll be working an undeniable charm even more appealing to the world-at-large than usual… and only further enhanced by the interrelated shift of your ruler Mercury into your 3rd, which (if you can believe it) increases your capacity for multitudes of status-updates, textchains, gab-sessions, and data-swaps. This should prove an exceedingly favorable slice of '17, provided you use your shrewd people-skills to position yourself in front of the right people at the right time to receive the good graces they'll want to send your way. All this advantageous astrology won't work quite as well for you, alas, if you show up to the scene expecting a certain outcome of your specific choosing and/or too straightforwardly stating a desire. The best benefits will derive from your focusing on the reachouts, the connections, and the social flows, not any explicit goal you want out of them. What presents itself might end up being better than what you would've devised yourself.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Please be mindful of this week's underlying friction on your physical plane, Cancer, due to an inconjunct between Mars and Saturn across two body-related houses (your 1st and 6th). This isn't the best moment to push yourself beyond what your system's accustomed to, veer too far from your steadying habits, or take major risks to your bodily safety. Instead, it's a time to heed the more reasonable voices in your head… and, if you're unable (or unwilling) to actively reduce your exposure to potential hazards, to do a bit of protection magic and/or pray to your guardian angel. I offer you this not to scare you, please understand, for this isn't necessarily astrology that portends horrible dangers or utter doom-and-gloom. It's a far more subtle situation than that, insofar as your lately-emboldened instincts may be goading you to suck it up and brave your fears, though you probably ought to do so only gradually, modestly, or cautiously so as not to utterly disrupt your familiar rhythms and throw off your equilibrium. Taking bold action is still presently favored… but strictly within the context of also keeping up with whatever's already kept you healthy and productive. LEO (July 23-August 22): This Wednesday (Jul 5), Mercury begins a resplendent three-week visit to your sign, Leo, granting you a relatively unfettered (and potentially attention-grabbing) ability to clearly and powerfully articulate yourself… a gift to writers, storytellers, communications professionals, and anyone who wants to be heard and understood loud and clear. This Mercury -in-your-1st will be gorgeously supported by Venus entering your 11th (also this week), which promises a warmer embrace by those in your social circles (whether they're close-in or on a more peripheral ring) as you regale them with your first-person tales, theories, and obsessions. This is the sort of astro-combo that positively situates you amidst a crowd of your beloveds, shining in your full expressive glory. For the time being, though, an especially shifty Mars still skulks through your 12th, threatening to dash your happy-go-lucky gait, should you forget last week's warning against participating in activities you'd be ashamed to speak openly about. You hopefully won't experience any Mars-related bummers as long as you aren't engaged in anything you fear would soil your outward image if everyone knew about it. VIRGO (August 23-September 22): Your window for effectively speaking up is essentially closing early this week, Virgo, with the transfer of your ruling messenger-planet Mercury into your 12th (on Wed Jul 5)… a move which makes it no longer wise to attempt to explain your logic or argue a point. But if you rashly conclude this is a regrettable transition, please think again: With Venus concurrently headed to your 10th, you'll actually be in a prime spot professionally (and/or in the public sphere), provided you can dispense with the self-imposed presumption that you're supposed to be the 'expert' and instead roll with whichever directions (and I'm using the plural here to signal there may not be a single coherent one) are coming from the top. This advice is apt to work better if you've already expressed your opinion earlier at least once, so nobody can later accuse you of withholding pertinent information. If you're not content with how this is all going, it's no longer an advantageous time to vent your frustration. Screw your thinking-cap on straight, and spend the next few weeks discreetly engineering your next move. If you pick a quarrel now, you're the one likeliest to suffer the most.

STARS OUR OURS graciously provided by Barry Pearlman Say Hello to Barry at http://www.astrobarry.com

LIBRA (September 23-October 22): Let's use the upcoming week to get you off the hot-seat, Libra, and back into a position where you'll be better able to express yourself in a more politically adept manner. This isn't, alas, a repositioning that'll come super easy. Though you have some astrological support in shifting your mindset away from challenges to authority or convention, you aren't altogether leaving behind that heightened impulse to fight whenever hindered in your efforts to achieve, ascend, or acquire. But as the planets adjust themselves, you're likelier to get ahead by massaging the roughest edges off your message and/or greasing the palms of your allies with kind words and considerate gestures than by confronting any scary monsters head-on. Furthermore, I advise dropping any premeditated or retaliatory attempts to 'gain the upper hand' in this ongoing jockeying for advantage… instead looking beyond the specific personalitydifferences in question this very minute, to the purposeful future payoffs these efforts are aimed at producing. That's why you want to emerge victorious: not to unseat or defeat anyone else, but to succeed at something you believe in. SCORPIO (October 23-November 21): There are also practical reasons not to hurry through your interactions (as we discussed last time), Scorpio… though they may not be immediately obvious to you, if you're too single-mindedly insistent on riding this rocket to adventure (without, say, considering whether you've got enough fuel to power the whole journey). Including a certain someone (or someones) in the more intimate workings of this latest passion, however, is a good way to increase your odds of noticing something you otherwise would've missed. Their participation will give you another set of eyes-and-ears, as well as assets and talents distinct from yours—and thus hopefully complement nicely what you're bringing to the table. And in order to procure eventual funding, institutional support, and/or the blessings of mentors, you may also wish to develop a clever elevator-pitch description that encapsulates this endeavor in more professional and/or palatable terms. Even if you aren't especially interested in recruiting such things now, your capacity to make this all sound reasonable is one worth working on, for reasons as yet unclear. SAGITTARIUS (November 22-December 21): I think you'll really like the shift in store for you this week, Sagittarius, as lovely planetary smoother-over Venus shows up in your relationship house (the 7th) and makes it so much easier to click and cavort with your favorite people (and the not -so-favorite ones, too). You'll rack up bonus points in any relationship whenever you dive into conversation-topics that get you both excited about what's coming up ahead… whether future study interests, travel plans, ideas for mutually edifying collaborations, or just general exploratory enthusiasm. But at the same time, there still lurks the allure of getting sucked back into an ongoing re-litigation of some unresolved frustration, financial snag, sexual hang-up, and/or other psychic compulsion. Like, it still doesn't feel quite right, so, even though you rightly suspect nothing productive will come from fixating on it, you don't want to let it go quite yet. May I return you to the beginning of this horoscope, then? A shift is in store, orienting you toward interpersonal good-times directly fed by looking ahead. Why keep looking back and poking at the past?

"The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars, But in ourselves, that we are underlings." William Shakespeare CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): How, exactly, to deliver your unfiltered feedback or a potentially painful truth—the disclosure of which is essential to your 'being real' with this person—without needlessly fanning further the flames of animosity? I'm not sure there's a surefire answer, Capricorn, considering Mars remains in your 7th, provoking any latent relational differences into conspicuous being. Even still, I advocate unburdening your psyche of information that's fundamental to all parties understanding what's actually going on between you… if not to improve the overall authenticity of your dynamic, then to guard against you taking on the emotional weight of presumptuously managing other people's capacity to process. If you don't communicate about it with them, you'll just be holding it all yourself. To soften the sting, I suggest framing any difficult conversations against a backdrop of fostering greater productive efficiency and/or looking out for integrative mind-body-spirit wellbeing, with the intent of sealing any energetic leaks which may otherwise be siphoning life-force away from you both if not addressed. AQUARIUS (January 20-February 18): While you'll continue possessing the steam you need for ongoing tasklist progress, this week's tidal changes will also start stoking your leisure-time participations up to a higher level of personal satisfaction. Of course, you must make a deliberate decision to pivot your energies away (at least for part of your day) from all the shit you'd still like to get done… though, oddly, you might find it more comfortable (for any number of reasons) to stick with the reassuring grind. I recommend not passing up this ripe opening for engaging in more out-in-the-world fun, however, mainly to counteract the tendency to socially isolate when you're too intently focused on personal jobs, chores, and habits. To further entice you into choosing some outwardly entertaining play alongside your diligent work, let me add this nugget: With Mercury moving into your 7th in sextile to Venus in your 5th, you'll be wielding a rather convincing, captivating, and seductive tone in your one-on-one communications that should keep whomever you're speaking with very interested in whatever you're doing. Use this fleeting gift to further stoke all parties' personal-satisfaction levels.

PISCES (February 19-March 20): Though I suspect (or at least hope) you've been enjoying a livelier-than-usual party scene, gaming schedule, creative wellspring, and/or romantic life, Pisces, I spy the craving for a bit more peace-and-quiet starting to announce itself. Obviously, these two behavioral impulses are somewhat at odds... though I don't think you need to pick only one, at the absolute expense of the other. However, the urge for and/or the expectation of one more drink or slice-of-pizza, another late-night meetup or improv session, or any unmitigated indulgence in the sweet fruits of life is liable to overshadow the quieter desire for a restful sleep, a restorative ritual, or a dose of solitary me-time. Even if your body seems to be keeping up with the fun-times pretty impressively, your mind demands a bit more space for sorting through all the stray assignments and considerations which may've gotten lost in this recent shuffle—not that you've done anything wrong up to this point, let me clarify, but merely that a certain practicality-minded anxiety could begin creeping in if you don't pause to organize your thoughts, in between this activity and that intrigue.

STARS OUR OURS graciously provided by Barry Pearlman Say Hello to Barry at http://www.astrobarry.com

Dear P&P: I’m a trans woman. Recently I’ve gotten to know someone who is male, but enjoys dressing as a woman — but they don’t call themselves trans. HE says he’s a transvestite. My understanding is that means he cross dresses to get sexual pleasure or gratification out of it, which kinda creeps me out, considering that neither of us would necessarily “pass” if seen together, but yet we are completely different. And it’s not like I can wear a T-shirt that explains the difference to others. How should I deal with this? - No T for Tea Dear Tea, Your question was deceivingly complex to tackle. Not because of the question itself, but because there seems to be a lot going on, in terms of semantics, possible misunderstandings and misconceptions. But don’t worry — your friends Pepper and Pearl will get you sorted out! Rephrasing your question, all what you’re saying (in far fewer words, and much more simply) is that if your friend is not trans, what the heck is he? Because we seem to be wired somehow to require labels and categories that everyone’s supposed to fit into. (Don’t even get me started). But that’s where we get hung up with definitions of words that we may not all be using in the same way. HE uses the word “transvestite,” and unfortunately neither one of us can say for certain what that means to him. In the strictest and most technical sense, historically, transvestism simply meant to dress, behave, and present as a member of the opposite sex (if we assume a binary system for gender). It was originally used as a descriptive, observational term, coined by German sexologist Magnus Hirschfeld. In his observations, he noted that transvestism could also be correlated with sexual arousal, so “could” immediately got reinterpreted as “did” and Bob’s your uncle — transvestism now meant that if you were a man who put on a dress, you had a sexual fetish. And hey, would you look at that! It’s even in the DSM to this day! (Just look up “transvestic fetishism”). So of course, the term “transvestite” quickly turned into a pejorative (because obviously) since any kind of sexually-associated term outside of heterosexual, missionary-position sex between married people would clearly represent a form of deviancy and perversion. As a result, the number of people who actively use the term “transvestite” has dwindled, because of its reputation as a(n unreclaimed) derogatory term. In that sense, the term “cross-dresser” is preferred. Although, I don’t know about you, but for me, even “cross-dresser” kind of gives me the heebie-jeebies, because it still presents an unbalanced, patriarchal (read: misogynistic) binary view of the world. Why misogynistic? Nowadays, only MALES can crossdress, and the act of doing so is seen by many as problematic. Females are generally accepted regardless of whether they pull on a pair of trousers, or into a dress on any given morn-

ing. The same cannot be said for males, who are still expected never to venture into any territory that might somehow be considered “feminine.” Hey, I still know people who even refuse to eat quiche because they think it’s an inappropriate food choice for a REAL man… But I digress. In a nutshell, the reasons WHY your friend dresses the way he does, are, I’m afraid, HIS business — and no one else’s. It’s not your place, nor anyone else’s to guess, assume, or judge his motivations. And if it DOES happen to be motivated by a sexual fetish, then that too, is none of your concern… And wanting to hang out, or go out (dressed as a couple of fine ladies) in no way would indicate to me any cause for concern, even if it WERE motivated by a sexual kink or fetish. Oh, and while we’re on THAT note, let me just point out, that I think Western society still hasn’t gotten over their puritanical, Judeo -Christian roots, perpetuated through Victorian prudishness and utopian-colonial ideals, to allow people the freedom to explore themselves as sexual beings. If you could administer a truth serum to a thousand people on the street, you’d probably be shocked how many of them have some kind of sexual kink or fetish. The mind boggles at how many men might actually be wearing frilly, pink panties underneath their homogenous, dark drab suits and ties… And speaking of ties… How many would enjoy being tied up?… Or covered in strawberry ice cream while being whipped on the ass by a dominatrix? Hey. Everyone’s got something. And my point is, that if your friend having a fetish involving women’s clothing creeps you out… That’s something that YOU will have to work through for yourself, as it’s got nothing to do with him. So, my advice? First, don’t assume things that aren’t yours to assume. Enjoy your friendship for what it is, and go out with your friend just as you would with any other friend. You clearly seem to like spending time with him, so who cares what other people think? There’s no need for a T-shirt to explain anything. There’s always going to be self-appointed gender police, regardless of who you are and how you choose to present. And do you really think they care that one of you is trans and the other is not? And as for the creep factor… Until he asks you to cover him in strawberry ice cream, don’t worry about it! Pepper & Pearl

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we thought it was a no-brainer The heart of XQQ Magazine is the information in the Rainbow Resources pages. But that is only half of what is needed. Once someone has the information, they have to decide what to do. Start hormones? Come out at work? Tell my sister? Tell my mom? These are tough things to decide and the best help is talking to people who had to make similar decision for themselves. It’s called peer support and it is what the Rainbow Health Co-operative is all about. So we created an ad that is free and all the ad revenue goes to the group who takes out the ad. We thought mixing the two – support groups and a resource magazine was a no brainer worthy of support – but we thought wrong. TransCare BC told the groups, No Thanks. As a result, Rainbow Health had to cancel dozens of meetings leaving lots of community members wondering what happened. So now it is up to you. There are two ways to help. If you think that TransCare BC should support a cross regional community resource magazine – let them know it. Email them and ask them to replace this ad with theirs. It does not seem like a huge ask from a health care system that spends billions of our dollars each month. Their email is TransCareBC@phsa.ca Much more likely to work is ordering one of our free group ads and ask someone else to sponsor it. It is simple, free to the group and cheap for the sponsor. It makes money for your group, and sponsors get recognized for their support.

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