The Yahara Journal 2020 edition

Page 51

IN MY HOUSE Emily Lutz In my house you must not ring the doorbell. Ringing the doorbell is Very Upsetting and I don’t like it. I will scream at you if you ring it. I will probably scream at you anyway, but you must endure this patiently, as well as endure me trying to tackle you in my excitement when you come in the door and punching you in the face with my face. It is a Gesture of Affection. In my house, when you sit down to talk with my roommates and have cookies and tea you must drop some crumbs for me, (no really, you must, no matter what my roommates tell you it will do to my digestive system). If you don’t, I will sit in front of you and stare accusingly, you who do so trifle with my tender and easily-bruised heart by eating in front of me without sharing. In my house if you should need the bathroom you shall patiently submit to being followed and are not allowed to close the door. I must be in the bathroom with you and I must be allowed to rudely shove my head under your bottom as you do your necessary so I may smell your pee and form my own opinion on its unique bouquet (garnering insights upon which I shall remain forever mum). In my house when you depart, I will follow you to the door, trying to shove my whole body through the opening to follow you. I shall watch you go and cry pathetically as if my heart has been Irrevocably Broken, only to be mended when I glimpse the saucy flick of a tail outside and forget my terrible sense of loss in order to scream at the uninvited guest until he leaves.

49


Turn static files into dynamic content formats.

Create a flipbook

Articles inside

Katherine Wagner

0
pages 58-59

RESTAURANT CODE

0
page 56

3 FACEBOOK STATUSES

1min
page 54

IN MY HOUSE

1min
page 51

IN MARCH

0
page 53

SACRED DREAM

0
page 49

THE NECESSITY OF

0
page 50

A TRANSPOSITION

0
page 52

NEVER STOOD A

1min
pages 47-48

ID IS REQUIRED

0
page 46

SPACE ON A TRAIN

0
page 42

COULD BE ANYWHERE

0
page 45

MUG: FILLED WITH FAKE PROMISES AND DISAPPOINTMENTS

5min
pages 36-39

A WARNING FROM A

1min
page 44

REGRETS

1min
pages 40-41

THE SPARROW QUEEN

0
page 43

THE HEAVY ARTISANAL

5min
pages 33-35

UNDERNEATH THE

7min
pages 30-32

DEATH DAINTILY

14min
pages 15-20

BOY IN THE WOODS

1min
page 10

UNFORGETTABLE

3min
pages 8-9

FIGS AND WASPS

9min
pages 11-14

THE ROBOTIC ARTIST: A

7min
pages 27-29

THE PLASTIC KEY

4min
pages 24-26

SERIALLY INCLINED

5min
pages 21-23
Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.