From Negativity To Positivity

Bri Porter and Charlotte Lloyd explore how unwanted change can be empowering.

Charlotte

Nobody likes change; unwanted change, bittersweet change, even change you knew was coming. It doesn’t make it easier, whether it’s expected or not. There are changes which seem negative, draining, and even upsetting, such as leaving home, the unexpected break-up, or making new friends. Whatever it is, change is always hard. But, often what we perceive as a negative, can create a much needed positive transformation.

The summer before I moved to Newcastle, I had established great relationships at work, I had just been on the trip of a lifetime, and had just finished high school. My adult life was great and the idea of leaving all of this seemed stupid. Why would I leave something I loved, somewhere I was content? I had my comfort zone, and I didn’t want to penetrate it. Moving away from home, there were so many unknowns and uncertainties. Will I make friends? Will I enjoy Uni?

This was my bittersweet change. Moving to Uni was something I always wanted to do, something I had worked towards, and something I was excited for; yet I was seeing it in a negative light. I was trying to paint it in a certain way, to make my familiar life sit on a pedestal. Only after I moved did I realise how damaging this could be. The resistance I had also meant I had avoided talking about it. I then had to accept this new reality I was faced with.

Change for me was expected, though this didn’t make it any easier, and it was only after I moved that I realised how important pushing myself was to my progress in life. At times, yes it was hard, and to be honest, there were moments when I wanted to slip ever so easily back into the familiar life I had at home, but without growth, we stay stuck. Change doesn’t always have to be the enemy, in fact, it can be quite empowering.

Bri

Compared to Charlotte’s experience, mine was quite different. A significant event which caused a great change to my personal life was the sudden end to an almost four-yearlong relationship. The relationship with my exgirlfriend wasn’t the healthiest, yet the break-up was unexpected at the time. Just like any longterm relationship ending, it did take its toll on me mentally. As dramatic as it sounds, I spent weeks doubting my own self-worth and wondered if I’d ever find someone again.

First loves are always the hardest. It’s the one that hurts the most. It’s the first person you did everything with. It was the first kiss, the first person you let in, the first person you said I love you to and meant it.

Once I started to embrace the change, the positive opportunities which came from the end of a relationship were incessant. I travelled to Greece, focused on my studies at University, and gained new friendships. Thankfully, I am also now in a new and healthier relationship, which would never have happened if I was still in the toxic one.

However, for me, a valuable and positive lesson that came from this negative situation was the start of my self-growth and self-love journey. I was able to find myself and develop even more confidence once the toxic relationship was over. I was able to discover what I was interested in, what my goals were, and who I want to be.

Change can bring enormous opportunities for personal growth and development. Personal growth can stagnate when the surroundings and mindset of an individual are continuously negative. It’s a perfect chance to learn and become self-aware. Adopting a mindset which does not fear change, but instead embraces it, can make all the difference.

Change is what produces new experiences, opportunities, relationships, and friendships. Change doesn’t wait for you. The more you resist change, the harder it will be for you to accept and deal with it when it arrives. When you realise change can bring positivity, happiness, and is the foundation for personal growth, that is when as an individual you can blossom. You have to dive straight in and embrace the fear. Life begins outside of your comfort zone. It is then that opportunities become endless.