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THE YALE HERALD YALE’S MOST DARING PUBLICATION VOLUME LXXXVI ISSUE 12 THE HERALD 100
The Yale Herald is a not-for-profit, non-partisan, incorporated student publication registered with the Yale College Dean’s Office. If you wish to subscribe to the Herald, please contact the Editors-in-Chief at laurie.roark@yale.edu and marina.albanese@yale.edu. Receive the Herald for one semester for 40 dollars, or for the 2020 academic year for 65 dollars. The Yale Herald is published by Yale College students, and Yale University is not responsible for its contents. All opinions expressed are those of the authors and do not reflect the views of The Yale Herald, Inc. or Yale
Dear reader, This is it. The Herald 100. We know you’ve been waiting for it. So have we.
VISIT US ONLINE AT YALEHERALD.COM
But in the extremely small chance that you have not been waiting for it and actually do not know what the Herald 100 is, let us explain: Every December, publications are often inclined to publish their lists of The Best ______ of the year. At the Herald, we do the same, but more! Our list is 100 articles long, and it’s not all The Best—it’s got The Worst too. We can thank a former editor-in-chief for keeping us balanced. In the following pages, you’ll find 100 pieces explaining The Best and The Worst that we at the Herald have encountered this year. From “Best Backhanded Compliment” (spoiler alert: it’s from your mom) to “Worst Excuse for Cancelling Your Yale Health Appointment” to “ Best Warming,” we hope you’ll laugh, cry, learn, and grow as much as we have. We are, indeed, sobbing as we write this. Why? The Herald 100 is not just a special issue. It is not just the last Herald of the year. It is not just the last Herald of the decade. It is the last Herald we’ll print as your editors-in-chief. Thanks for sticking with us. Endless, endless love, Laurie Roark and Marina Albanese Editors-in-Chief
EDITORIAL STAFF EDITORS-IN-CHIEF MANAGING EDITORS
Marina Albanese, Laurie Roark Kat Corfman, Eric Krebs
EXECUTIVE EDITORS Chalay Chalermkraivuth, Nurit Chinn, Fiona Drenttel, Jack Kyono FEATURES EDITORS Rachel Calcott, Elliot Lewis CULTURE EDITORS Ryan Benson, Bri Wu VOICES EDITORS Hamzah Jhaveri, Silver Liftin OPINION EDITOR Spencer Hagaman REVIEWS EDITORS Marc Boudreaux ARTS EDITORS Matt Reiner, Harrison Smith INSERTS EDITORS Sarah Force, Will Wegner
DESIGN STAFF CREATIVE DIRECTORS Paige Davis, Rebecca Goldberg ILLUSTRATOR Annie Yan
BUSINESS STAFF BUSINESS MANAGERS George Hua, Michelle Tong
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THE YALE HERALD
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1. Best place to go over break 2. Best dressed 3. Best undressed 4. Worst thanksgiving 5. Best party trick 6. Best QR code 7. Worst resolution 8. Best resolution 9. Best revolution 10. Best momma’s boy 11. Best punctuation 12. Worst punctuation 13. Best way to get revenge 14. Best oil 15. Worst oil
16. Worst feedback 17. Worst flavor of coke 18. Best place to stash your printed Yale Herald collection 19. Best part of the Harvard-Yale game 20. Worst part of the Harvard-Yale game 21. Best way to eat vegetables 22. Best thing to do when you’re sick 23. Best outcome 24. Worst way to become a photographer 25. Best friends forever? 26. Best way to sell your house? 27. Worst stamp 28. Best musical
29. Best lie 30. Worst flatmate 31. Best dorm rat 32. Best abbreviation for Cross Campus 33. Best case scenario 34. Worst case scenario 35. Best fact 36. Best wurst 37. Worst first-year suitemate 38. Best Tinder pick-up line 39. Worst medical advice 40. Best place to eat pizza and drink soft beverages 41. Worst Western
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42. Best palindrome 43. Worst palindrome 44. Worst place to fall in love 45. Best present 46. Best reading week procrastination 47. Worst color 48. Best color 49. Best way to shirk your responsibilities 50. Best real way to shirk your responsibilities 51. Best time to be alive 52. Worst time to be alive
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53. Best pyramid scheme 54. Best feeling 55. Worst crime 56. Worst Cooks in America 57. Worst pyramid scheme 58. Worst academic hot take 59. Best apparatus 60. Worst way for the world to end 61. Best spot to meet up 62. Worst font 63. Worst horoscope sign 64. Worst “best” blurb 65. Best “worst” blurb 66. Best non-potato fry 67. Best way to kill attraction
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68. Best vibes 69. Worst vibe 70. Best anecdote 71. Worst anecdote 72. Worst inspection 73. Best blue 74. Best brother 75. Worst brother 76. Best slides 77. Worst slides 78. Best way to wear a cardigan
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79. Best trend 80. Worst thing to say while you climax 81. Worst thing to say while playing Yahtzee 82. Best way to die on Yale’s campus 83. Best backhanded compliment 84. Worst breast 85. Best breast 86. Worst Durfee’s swipe 87. Worst type of warming 88. Best type of warming 89. Worst part about having ADHD 90. Best Instagram influencer cameo at Harvard/Yale
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91. Worst excuse 92. Best cat 93. Best accident 94. Worst part of you not feeling the same way 95. Best part of you not feeling the same way 96. Best celibate 97. Worst celibate 98. Best of both worlds 99. Best cheese 100. Worst way to become a photographer
Using only a single metal key, I can make five cans of Natural Light disappear before your very eyes! Back to bed. Forget that trip to Barcelona that your suitemate’s going on, this is prime time to catch up on the last ten weeks of self-sabotaging sleep habits. When you emerge after a week of snoozy hibernation fresh-faced and minus a few mental health issues, you’ll be able to help your exhausted (but nicely tanned) suitemate lug their suitcases up the stairs.
RACHEL CALCOTT, BR ’22, YH STAFF
WILL WEGNER, MY ’22, YH STAFF
Best QR code
Best dressed Timothee Chalamet.
MARC BOUDREAUX, ES ’21, YH STAFF
REBECCA GOLDBERG, MC ’21, YH STAFF
Best undressed Armie Hammer.
MARC BOUDREAUX, ES ’21, YH STAFF
Worst Thanksgiving When your aunt and cousin get drunk and team up during a game of Sequence, and then they are really mean!
MARC BOUDREAUX, ES ’21, YH STAFF
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THE YALE HERALD
New Year’s.
KAT CORFMAN, SM ’21, YH STAFF
Best resolution 1080p.
KAT CORFMAN, SM ’21, YH STAFF
Best revolution Dance Dance, Hottest Party III.
ISAAC PROSS, BK ’23, YH STAFF
Best momma’s boy Oedipus.
AARON MAGLOIRE, TD ’23
Publicly humiliate those who have wronged you. Reader, I’ve been wronged. I’m talking about you, Hope Newberry, that girl from my seventh grade homeroom. You know what you did at homecoming and I will never forgive you!!! (She stained my favorite white Polo Ralph Lauren button-up with her stupid Dr. Pepper and made it all about herself when I was clearly the victim.) For years, I forgot about it, but recently in therapy, my anonymous online therapist Paul and I trudged up some fresh trauma. Paul agrees that I should get revenge. “Even the playing field,” he said. So, Hope Newberry, I’m writing this for all to know that I remember when you got rocks stuck up your nose at recess in the second grade and while Mrs. Chapman left to call your mom, you sneezed one out and shot a snot covered pebble at Zach Daniels. He didn’t notice then, but I’m sure he’ll read this in the Yale Herald. Then he will have no other choice but to divorce your ass! (Hope and Zach are married now with two kids, Chasity and Reese.)
DUSTIN DUNAWAY, JE ’21
The best punctuation—I maintain—is what I—a connoisseur of sorts—use to prove to people—those who can stand to read my writing, that is—that I don’t just go with the flow—to borrow from the idiomatic—I dare to interrupt it—constantly—with em—as opposed to en—dashes.
WILL WEGNER, MY
Best oil. Grapeseed.
RYAN BENSON, GH ’21, YH STAFF
Worst punctuation &. Who’s too lazy for three letters? Suddenly too good for spelling out words, are we? Shame on you, Crate & Barrel. Shame on you, Abercrombie & Fitch. And the greatest shame of all goes to you, M&Ms. Your friend Mike and Ike had the time for three full words. What gives you the right?
WILL WEGNER, MY ’22, YH STAFF
Big. :(
RYAN BENSON, GH ’21, YH STAFF
Worst feedback When somebody in your poetry class says your poem is clearly narrated by an “insane obsessive child” and you’re like, “This poem is narrated by me.”
ELLIOT LEWIS, BR ’22, YH STAFF
Worst flavor of coke Hey, back off, there, Cherry Coke. Dr. Pepper’s the expert in this particular arena—and he’s got the diploma to prove it. Know your place.
WILL WEGNER, MY ’22, YH STAFF
Best part of the Harvard-Yale game The big win!
HAMZAH JHAVERI, TC ’22, YH STAFF
Worst part of the Harvard-Yale game Communists :(
HAMZAH JHAVERI, TC ’22, YH STAFF
Best place to stash your printed Yale Herald collection Anywhere. Everywhere. Stick them up on your walls. Pin them to your shirt. Sleep under them. Accost passersby with our latest headlines and black lists. They’ll thank you for it.
RACHEL CALCOTT, BR ’22, YH STAFF
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Best way to eat vegetables Burnt. I know it’s a carcinogen.
ADDEE KIM, JE ’21, YH STAFF
Best thing to do when you’re sick So you’ve caught the freshman plague. You’ve taken so many Advil PM’s that you are now immune to them. You visited Yale Health—they made you wear a face mask and Purell every two minutes and 30 seconds… only to tell you that you have a cold. So what do you do now? Cry in the library because you can no longer breathe through your nose? Curse this petri-dish they call a university? Well, yes. But neither of those things will make you feel better. What you should do is drag your germ-ridden body to the corner of Chapel and Park St. and enter Jojo’s Coffee and Tea. As Gina W. reported on Yelp, “[ Jojo’s] serves a welcomed respite from the sterile Blue State vibe. You can slouch, play a board game without hassle, scorn, or gibe.” But the best thing Jojo’s offers is its, “Hot Lemon Ginger Tea.” A foamy, glorious ginger mess, the first gulp will feel like drinking sweet fire. Not to fret, after a few sips your throat will be so numb, and your sinuses so clear that you feel as if you could actually interact with society again. Jojo’s hot lemon ginger tea is almost as good as sleeping in your own bed while having your mom sing you a lullaby to sleep. Almost.
Best friends forever? Volunteers wanted. Text me at (646) 937-3398.
BRI WU, MC ’21, YH STAFF
Best way to sell your house? Call me at (646) 937-3398.
ERIC KREBS, JE ’21, YH STAFF
ALEXANDRA GERS, PC ’23, YH STAFF
Worst stamp Best outcome
Tramp.
Income.
RASMUS SCHLUTTER, MC ’21, YH STAFF
KAT CORFMAN, SM ’21, YH STAFF
Worst way to become a photographer Take a photo that ends up in someone’s obituary.
DUSTIN DUNAWAY, JE ’21
Best musical Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
CARAMIA PUTMAN, BF ’22, YH STAFF
Best lie The difference between Yale Dining House Blend and Colombian Roast Coffee.
ISAAC PROSS, BK ’23, YH STAFF
Worst flatmate
Best case scenario Get idea, pitch startup, leverage contacts, generate buzz, court investors, launch product, disrupt industry, deceive shareholders, defy regulators, massive IPO, downsize employees, resign from board, cite creative differences, offload debt, redeem stock options, deny culpability, abscond to overseas estate.
MARK ROSENBERG, PC ’20, YH STAFF
Yale Herald editor-in-chief Laurie Roark, ES ’21, who can’t have one simple conversation without spinning it into a potential blurb for the Herald 100. Well, here you go, Laurie. You win.
ALMA BITRAN, GH ’21, AND ELI MENNERICK, ES ’21
Best dorm rat Freddie, our friend, pumpkin-bread-eater, and permanent resident of Saybrook K41.
HERO MAGNUS, SY ’22
ISAAC PROSS, BK ’23, YH STAFF
THE YALE HERALD
Disillusioned by your cushy suburban upbringing and wracked with existential dread, you burn every last dollar to your name, abandon your loving friends and family, set out on an epic journey of self-discovery, and end up living out your last days in an abandoned bus in Alaska, alienated and desolate, consoled only by the faint hope that your life will one day inspire a major motion picture.
MARK ROSENBERG, PC ’20, YH STAFF
The original G-mail was the name of a free email service offered by Garfield’s website—it predates Google’s Gmail by six years. “Email with cattitude.”
Crampus.
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Worst case scenario
MARY BEN APATOFF, ES ’23
Best wurst Bratwurst.
MARK ROSENBERG, PC ’20, YH STAFF
Hi.
LASKHMI AMIN, BR ’21, YH STAFF
They show their face only intermittently, and to much dismay. They’re more abominable than someone’s (your) slovenly boyfriend who is perpetually visiting from out of town. They’re more heinous than the jack-o-lantern left to rot beside the TV over break. These unwelcome visitors cower in the face of the Worst First Year Suitemate. Face, perhaps, is the wrong word. This suitemate has no body, only a vessel: the toilet in Lawrance B31. One afternoon in midwinter of 2018, the singular toilet in your suite takes an unprompted, hours-long flush: a giant, continuous slurp. You and your suitemates gather round the toilet bowl. The congregation in the bathroom stall feels both horrible and holy. You all peer into the churning water. “Where did it come from?” “What does it want from us?” “Does the Chaplain’s Office do exorcisms?” One brave suitemate finally resolves to call Facilities. The voice on the other end of the call seems impossibly far away. Your suitemate stoically describes the gurgling visitor. “Is the problem time sensitive?” the voice asks. “I mean, it has been flushing for 3 hours straight.” “We’ll get there when we get there.” Night falls, and the Worst First Year Suitemate gurgles on recklessly. You all sit in the dim common room, eyeing each other suspiciously. Did one of them instigate the flush, opening this aqueous portal to the underworld? The toilet takes one, final, violent gurgle. Everyone runs to the bathroom. The water in the toilet bowl is still. When the toilet demon returns a month later, it does not make a sound. Slowly, silently, it regurgitates a five-hours-long-slurp worth of water onto the bathroom floor.
CHARLOTTE KEATHLEY, ES ’21
Worst medical advice It is better to have juuled and died than to have never juuled at all.
SARAH FORCE, SY ’21, YH STAFF
Best place to eat pizza and drink soft beverages The Herald Office, laughing with friends and writing jokes for the Herald 100. :)
SPENCER HAGAMAN, BF ’21, YH STAFF
Worst western Best.
SARAH FORCE, SY ’21, YH STAFF
Best palindrome A man, a plan, a canal, Panama.
MARC BOUDREAUX, ES ’21,YH STAFF
Worst palindrome When I was a child a child I was until the day a man came to when.
ERIC KREBS, JE ’21, YH STAFF
Worst place to fall in love The worst place to fall in love is a funeral. You know how convincing those obituaries can be. All it takes is a slide show of family photos set to “In the Arms of an Angel” to get my attention!
Best present This Christmas, I am asking Santa Claus for some wrinkles. Maybe even some liver spots. I am hoping that after I get this great gift, people (read: the 15-year-old who recently thought I was also 15) will at least think I’ve made it 11th grade.
PAIGE DAVIS, MC ’21, YH STAFF
DUSTIN DUNAWAY, JE ’21
Best reading week procrastination Watching Love Island. You may think LI is just a bunch of ultra-tanned lypo-perfected bodies parading around a pool and using so much obscure British slang that it might as well be a dialect. But you’d be wrong. LI is in fact a psychological experiment, an ironic commentary on modern love and the best acting on TV today. It’s postcolonial Britain’s apology gift to humanity. Give it a watch. Your GPA might even go up!
RACHEL CALCOTT, BR ’22, YH STAFF
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Worst color Periwinkle. I don’t even know what color you are, periwinkle, but your name makes me want to cry. There’s something deeply tragic about you, periwinkle. You sound like an unfulfilled dream.
WILL WEGNER, MY ’22, YH STAFF
Best color Orange.
WILL WEGNER, MY ’22, YH STAFF
Best way to shirk your responsibilities Be honest about what you can handle. Give a real explanation for why you cannot meet the expectations that people have for you, and if you are earnest enough, they’ll understand.
ADDEE KIM, JE ’21, YH STAFF
Best real way to shirk your responsibilities Hide in the basement bathroom of Sterling with a months rations of Amie’s Organic Chili and the first two seasons of Schitt’s Creek. Tell your loved ones that you love them, and that for reasons that will later become clear, you cannot contact them. Sit back, and let the good times roll.
ADDEE KIM, JE ’21, YH STAFF
Best time to be alive 11:30.
ELLIOT LEWIS, BR ’22, YH STAFF
Worst time to be alive Too late to explore the Earth, too early to explore the stars.
ERIC KREBS, JE ’21, YH STAFF
N THI GS W
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THE THE THE BLACK BLACK BLACK LIST LIST LIST TE HA
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1. Joe Biden’s curly blond leg hair. 2. Joe Biden’s lap. 3. Joe Biden. 4. You know what, I’m gonna say it: Donald Trump. 5. Donald Duck. 6. TRIGGERED. 7. Sugar daddies. 8. Shaving. 9. Having. 10. Lint. 11. Belly buttons. 12. Navels. 13. Navel sweat. 14. Organs. 15. OrgSync. 16. Neutering. 17. Jimmy Neutron. 18. Biking without a helmet. 19. Biking without a jockstrap. 20. Jocks. 21. Public pubes. 22. Pubic pubs. 23. Musk. 24. Elon Musk. 25. Grimes. 26. Crimes. 27. Rhymes. 28. “Epic.” 29. Epoque. 30. OPEC. 31. Repression. 32. Regression. 33. Castration fear. 34. Facing your fears. 35. Wasting your years. 36. Eventually dying alone. 37. Tazo passion fruit tea. 38. Landlords. 39. Feudal lords. 40. The Lord’s Prayer. 41. My sleep paralysis demon. 42. When my sleep paralysis demon won’t fuck me. 43. When my sleep paralysis demon won’t even do hand stuff. 44. Peer pressure. 45. Sinus pressure. 46. Nasal drip. 47. Post-nasal drip. 48. Post-racial nasal drip. 49. Post-modern racial nasal drip. 50. Drip. 51. Drop. 52. Crop top. 53. Cooking up dope in the Crock-Pot. 54. Tops that pop. 55. Tops that won’t fuck me.
56. Pop, lock, and drop. 57. Pop it, lock it, polka-dot it. 58. Getting desperate when your demon won’t fuck you. 59. Having needs. 60. Boiling your Diva Cup in the student kitchen. 61. Using your Diva Cup as a shot glass in a desperate situation. 62. Liking it. 63. Eating cereal out of a belly button without milk. 64. Finding cereal in your belly button the next day. 65. Ice fishing when you forget to bring your gloves! 66. Ice fishing when you forget to bring your fish! 67. Fucking a fish in the ice when you forget to bring your glove! 68. Catfishing. 69. Dirty little secrets. 70. Dirty little secretions. 71. Cretins. 72. Street urchins. 73. Creatures. 74. Creationism. 75. Crèpes. 76. French omelettes. 77. French kisses. 78. Chewing on warm hard-boiled eggs during lecture. 79. Chewing on someone else’s gum. 80. Being recognized on Tinder for your class commentary. 81. Being recognized for anything. 82. Being known. 83. Being a gnome. 84. Gnomeo & Juliet. 85. Intellectual property. 86. Private property. 87. Public property. 88. Jennifer Lawrence. 89. Seriously, fuck Jeffiner Lawrence. 90. Modern day imperialist, Akon. 91. Acne. 92. Back-ne. 93. The Bacchae. 94. Old people smell. 95. Moth balls. 96. Moth testicles. 97. Longstanding insecurities over premature ejaculation. 98. A sad and marathon-like post-anti-depressant sex life. 99. Post-nut clarity. 100. Acceptance.
Best pyramid scheme The great ones.
Worst pyramid scheme “Wanna buy a pyramid?”
ERIC KREBS, JE ’21, YH STAFF
SPENCER HAGAMAN, BF ’21, YH STAFF
Best feeling Sticking your head out the car window like a dog as you speed down the highway. It’s not very comfortable, but it’s certainly best.
MARY BEN APATOFF, ES ’23
I guess probably murder.
LAURIE ROARK, ES ’21, YH STAFF
I’m taking this class called Race, Politics, & the Law, right? And I’m feeling absolutely terrific about it until we get to reading a paper on Queer Nomadic Geographies. In it, academic hot-taker Rachel Loewen Walker suggests that I embrace my individual subjectivities blah blah instead of trying to find a girlfriend (which she says would lead to recreating the heterosexual family dynamic in my own queer relationships). She would rather I embrace a state of permanent exile. Sounds great, but something about this idea of being literally alone forever messed with my cute human/monkey brain which just simply really wants love and a wife with whom to bake bread/make out. (Can I still be a radical???)
HERO MAGNUS SY ’22, YH STAFF
Worst Cooks in America Good show.
Golgi.
ELLIOT LEWIS, BR ’22, YH STAFF
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KAT CORFMAN, SM ’21, YH STAFF
Worst way for the world to end Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
ERIC KREBS, JE ’21, YH STAFF
Best spot to meet up Meet me on the iceberg in Club Penguin for a snowball fight. The server is Frigid and the time is now.
ELLIOT LEWIS, BR ’22, YH STAFF
Worst “best” blurb The one by Paige Davis. Paige, you are perfect. It’s everyone else who needs to change.
BRI WU, MC ’21, YH STAFF
The last one. Kidding, I’m not that vain! The best worst is bratwurst, obviously. We’ve already told you this.
BRI WU, MC ’21, YH STAFF
Best non-potato fry Portobello. From Oak Haven. Worth the 25 minutes worth of small talk ’n walk to the scary other part of town, aka East Rock.
Papyrus. BRI WU, MC ’21, YH STAFF
Worst horoscope sign Ophiuchus.
REBECCA GOLDBERG, MC ’21, YH STAFF
ANNA B. ALBRIGHT, GH ’22
Walk to East Rock with him. You’ll get bored of his conversation real fast.
ANNA B. ALBRIGHT, GH ’22
528 Hz & 432 Hz.
REBECCA GOLDBERG, MC ’21, YH STAFF
Worst vibe 20000 Hz.
REBECCA GOLDBERG, MC ’21, YH STAFF
That time I threw up in my mouth while standing in form for the official inspection of my JROTC unit. I didn’t want to embarrass myself. We got a gold star, so you’re welcome, Delta Company.
ERIC KREBS, JE ’21, YH STAFF
Worst anecdote “Back when I used to go to crew parties…”
KAT CORFMAN, SM ’21, YH STAFF
Introspection. Isn’t my therapist supposed to do that for me?!
KAT CORFMAN, SM ’21, YH STAFF
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Best slides Slip ’n.
RYAN BENSON, GH ’21,YH STAFF
Gucci.
RYAN BENSON, GH ’21,YH STAFF
Best blue International Klein Blue. Fight me on this.
KAT CORFMAN, SM ’21, YH STAFF
Best brother Big.
RACHEL CALCOTT, BR ’22, YH STAFF
Worst brother LEO.
RACHEL CALCOTT, BR ’22, YH STAFF
Best way to wear a cardigan As a shirt.
MARINA ALBANESE, PC ’20, YH STAFF
Best trend
The grout fit. It is the irreverent, self-deprecating ensemble that did not ask permission to appear in the Berkley dining hall during a busy lunch period or on your Instagram feed sported by an off-duty celebrity. A day-to-night staple that takes neither you nor itself seriously, it will seamlessly shuttle you from an unproductive 8 p.m. Bass study session to an even less productive 9:30 p.m. Woads pregame. The grout fit does not care if you landed a summer internship at Morgan Stanley, haven’t washed your hair in three days, or just Snackpassed yet another order of drunken noodles from Basil. The grout fit knows it doesn’t have its life together, so it doesn’t expect you to either.
ANSLEY WEBER, SM ’22
Worst thing to say while you climax
Best backhanded compliment
“You’d be a perfect candidate for laser hair removal!” — my mom.
PHOEBE CARDENAS, BF ’21
Worst breast The left one.
RACHEL CALCOTT, BR ’22, YH STAFF
“Yahtzee!” If you know, you know.
ALEXANDRA GERS, PC ’23, YH STAFF
Best breast Chicken!
Worst thing to say while playing Yahtzee “I’M CUMMING!!!!”
SPENCER HAGAMAN, BF ’21, YH STAFF
Best way to die on Yale’s campus Of exposure, climbing up Science Hill in the winter. Your body acts as a marker for those to follow.
MARY BEN APATOFF, ES ’23 18 THE YALE HERALD
LENA GALLAGER, JE ’21
Worst type of warming Global.
ELLIOT LEWIS, BR ’22, YH STAFF
Best type of warming In the loins.
Worst Durfee’s swipe
ELLIOT LEWIS, BR ’22, YH STAFF
Worst part about having ADHD I love attention :(
SARAH FORCE, SY ’21, YH STAFF
Those six-dollar wellness shots! That’s some white people shit. I am a white person.
ANNA B. ALBRIGHT, GH ’22
Best Instagram influencer cameo at Harvard/Yale Influencers: They’re just like us. They too take crappy pictures of Old Campus with a dramatic filter to capture the #naturallight of the #fallleaves. They, too, debate the merits of LEO in their first days at Yale, and they, like us, fail to get on the guest list. (Ouch!) They, too, take artsy photos of themselves in the YUAG, but only some of us take those photos with Yale Plates™. And all of us have contemplated at one time or another stealing china from Yale Dining. (I’m looking at you, Pierson mug-stealing students) I am, of course, talking about Caroline Calloway. And who among us would forget to credit Fossil Free Yale in the protests “in support of climate change”? Oh. That would just be Caroline Calloway.
CAMDEN SMITHTRO, ES ’22, YH STAFF
Worst excuse When I cancelled my Yale Health appointment by telling them I wasn’t feeling well.
SARAH FORCE, SY ’21, YH STAFF
Every Single One Of Them.
BLEU WELLS, ES ’22, YH STAFF
Me.
SPENCER HAGAMAN, BF ’21,YH STAFF
Worst part of you not feeling the same way I have to sit around pondering what it is I’m doing wrong.
WILL WEGNER, MY ’22, YH STAFF
Best part of you not feeling the same way I get to sit around imagining something better than reality could ever be.
WILL WEGNER, MY ’22, YH STAFF
20 THE YALE HERALD
Best celibate Morrissey.
ERIC KREBS, JE ’21, YH STAFF
Worst celibate Involuntary.
ERIC KREBS, JE ’21, YH STAFF
Best of both worlds Margherita (no cheese) + Bianco (all cheese), face to face, as they should be. We call it the Hannah Montana, and we have Herald 100 delirium to thank for it.
ISAAC PROSS, BK ’23, YH STAFF AND KAT CORFMAN, SM ’21, YH STAFF
Best cheese Brie. So mushy, so gushy! Best when baked.
BRI WU, MC ’21, YH STAFF
Best thing to do Create something you’re proud of with people you love.
ERIC KREBS, JE ’21, YH STAFF
Truth History Democracy Hear from some of the most outstanding journalists in the world and gain insight into the media and its role in contemporary culture.
Truth History poynter.yale.edu
The Episcopal Church at Yale Luther House Campus Ministry The University Church in Yale
Invite you to a
service of lessons and carols Sunday, December 8, 2o19 5:3o pm Battell Chapel Corner of College and Elm Streets • New Haven, CT
The Episcopal Church at Yale Chapel Singers Grant Wareham, Organist and Choirmaster
The University Church Choir Sarah Noble & Oscar Osicki, Directors Chase Loomer, Organist A. Nathaniel Gumbs, Director of Chapel Music
Reception to follow at Dwight Hall church.yale.edu • chaplain.yale.edu/episcopalian • www.yalelutherhouse.com
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arina.albanese @ il m y a ma l e . .e e ld
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