Yawp Comedy Mag Issue 5

Contents 3 A Kick in the Head and Other Seduction Techniques 4 Pride Hard 5 Choose Your Own Portenza 5 One Character or Less 6 Trying Hard 6 PANIC! 7 Brothers 7 Two Guys, a Girl and a Microphone 8 The Trial and Death of Socrates (No relation) 8 Wizard Sandwhiches 9 Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee 10 Stand Out Stand Up Docos 13 When is it OK to Laugh?

14 What’s it all about?

15 [FEATURE] One Comedian’s Festival 17 The Departed 19 Isss My BirthdaYYy! 22 Damien and the Googleverse 23 Do A Windmill!

24 Reality: A Fantastic Comedy 29 Rue B Tuesdays 30 The Exford Hotel 31 A Love Letter to Perth Comedy and a Liberating Shift 33 Acknowledgements

- Margaret Zoides (Review) - Rob White (Review) - Harley Hefford (Review) - Tara Fergus (Review) - Danny Bakhsh (Review) - Tara Fergus (Review) - Tara Fergus (Review) - Kirsty Wilson (Review) - Margaret Zoides (Review) - Kirsty Wilson (Review) - Caitlin McInnnis (Podcasts) - Rob Caruana (Film) - Taco Jones - Sam Rankin - Claire Sullivan (interviews Alasdair Tremblay Birchall) - Beverley Margosis - Carly Milroy (interviews Josh Ladgrove) - John Potter - Dan Brader - Josh Samuels - Suren Jayemanne - Jesse Broadhurst - Josh Makinda

James Mclean : A Kick in the Head and Other Seduction Techiniques

By Margaret Zoides

BLAH BLAH COMEDY CLUB RETURNS! WEDNESDAY NIGHTS FROM OCTOBER 24TH

LEVEL 2, SAHARA RESTAURANT 301 Swanston Street, Melbourne www.blahblahcomedy.com.au

It may have been the dimly lit room, the drink from the bar or the fact that I’m a single twenty year old girl, but there really is no denying the charismatic draw of James Mclean. He is a star, a talented twenty three year old who can do it all. Not only can he sing, dance, and act but he can, most importantly, draw a laugh. It is this versatility coupled with his humorous imagination that sets him apart from other comedic acts.

As we followed Mclean’s quest for young love, his ability to litter his already entertaining performance with songs on theme draws a refreshing parallel to a traditional stand-up act. With cleverly modified lyrics to well-known songs and accompanying choreography, the audience is left amused at not only the laugh out loud material, but also the narrative intertwined within the many musical numbers.

James explains that his passion lies with cabaret and this is evident in his performance. Each move is executed with an inner confidence; commendable from a performer this young. Given time, James could really leave a mark on the Australian comedy circuit.

His wit is apparent, working the arrival of late audience members into his routine with poise. By harnessing this and increasing the diversity of his material, James has the potential to stay in this game for the long haul.

Highlights of the show included the introduction to Mcleans’ Italian Alter ego, Giuseppi, as well as the interaction between Mclean and Matt Hadgraft accompanying him on piano. If anyone needs a piano player google this man’s name! You’re unlikely to find a better entertainer.

Ultimately the art lies within James’s material, allowing the audience to react to his vulnerability as well as his likability. At the end of the performance you are left wanting more of the story, more of why this twenty three year old is so unlucky in love. With his single years generating this quality of material, imagine what stories await us when he actually starts dating. Keep an eye out for this up and coming talent!

I

By Rob White

PRIDE HARD

t is a truth universally acknowledged that Die Hard is one of the greatest action films of all time. It is no surprise that someone who recognises the movie for the masterpiece it is would want to share their love for it anyway they can. For returning Fringer Rob Lloyd (Who, Me) and first timer Kelsey Gade this expression of love takes the form of PRIDE HARD, a one hour production that mashes together Die Hard with literary classic Pride & Prejudice. If you are unfamiliar with either one – or, heaven forbid, both – of these great works, fear not! Pride Hard is incredibly entertaining even without doing the required reading.

However, the show is first and foremost a tribute to the works it draws from. This isn’t to say people that haven’t watched Die Hard or read Pride & Prejudice won’t enjoy themselves. On the contrary, the hilariously manic performances of Lloyd and Gade – as well as the background story between their two stage personas – will ensure novices still laugh at even the most obtuse references. There are also several other pop culture franchises referenced that would keep the uninitiated from spending too much time puzzling over references to Argyle the limo driver or Pemberley.

There is often a risk in genre mash-ups of the performance becoming stale as the audience gets used to the juxtaposition of two vastly different styles. However, the slow progression that sees Pride Hard move from a straight reading of Die Hard with posh accents to a true combination of the two iconic works ensures the idea remains entertaining. Particularly inspired are the character pairings within the show, fusing together primary and periphery characters from both works. Some of these combinations draw interesting parallels between similar relationships while others are just hilarious.

Also making it clear that Pride Hard is primarily an homage to its source material is the rather absurd finish. Don’t get me wrong. The ending is great and easy to accept if you’ve either gotten the references throughout the show, or have given up trying to make sense of the plot(s) and are happy to just go along for the ride.

However the choice to blend both works together left me expecting an ending that would resolve the differing storylines more completely. While the production does reach its “natural conclusion”, it’s done in a very bizarre fashion.

There were what appeared to be several technical faults on the night I went, but the skill with which the performers – in particular Lloyd – handled these was exceptional, and had me wondering on more than one occasion whether or not they were planned. They certainly had no affect on my enjoyment of the show.

My main concern about Pride Hard is how small the potential audience is that will be able to enjoy the production to its full extent.

While both Pride & Prejudice and Die Hard are considered classics in their respective fields, I highly doubt there is a large overlap of people that enjoy both. As such, many people may be turned off and avoid the show, which is a shame. The show isn’t just for professors of literature and Bruce Willis stalkers. The enthusiasm and joy exhibited

by Lloyd and Gade throughout the performance makes Pride Hard a fantastic experience for all.

No matter how good the next inevitable screen adaption of Pride & Prejudice turns out to be, I’ll be distracted by the distinct lack of gunfire and a Mr Darcy without a German accent.

Choose Your Own Portenza

Charles Barrington: One Character or Less

By Harley Hefford

By Tara Fergus

There is a 'Being John Malkovich' surreal-ness about stepping from the numbered office corridor of the homely Tuxedo Cat on Flinders Lane into the absurd birthday celebration Choose Your Own Portenza.

Immediately upon sitting down you land in an odd, delightful and strangely inviting world which compels you to partake in its madness. If you were ever jealous of Alice when she stumbled upon the Mad Hatters Tea Party, then this show is a must see.

Performer and creator Josh Ladgrove’s highly original rollicking one-hour of craziness is heralded by the lipstick-and-beard-combining character Dr Professor Neal Portenza, who has a charisma which makes the audience unusually comfortable being more than spectators of his prop-heavy party. Many of the tropes common to the one-man show are used well – quick costume changes behind a shonky curtain at the back, a love/hate relationship with the tech guy and a focus on character over plot. However the eponymous device of the choose-your-own-adventure remotes proves most effective, giving the audience a fair amount of control over the show’s direction. This adds a flavour of improvisation which the audience is really able to taste and supports the ramshackle nature of this event.

The myriad of characters who appear as part of the show are hilarious and punchy, and range potentially from Fran Drescher to Glenn Ridge, depending on exactly which 'Portenzas' you choose. Showy villain Gary Portenza is particularly memorable; nothing is ever taken too seriously and most of the time performer Josh Ladgrove draws you in rather than trying too hard to please the audience. Another definite strength of the show is the feeling of group camaraderie which builds between the audience as it goes on, perhaps amplified by the party hat which each member reluctantly dons.

Ladgrove’s style has incited many comparisons; to comedic great Shaun Micallef or the absurd Mighty Boosh duo for example. Much of the subtle physical humour employed could certainly link this show with fellow fringe clown Dr Brown, who is rapidly gathering a cult following. Within such shows there is always a difficult balance between structure and insanity and there is a chance that if this show tightened things up a tiny bit it might widen its accessibility. Nevertheless, Choose Your Own Portenza is simply awesome; a thoroughly entertaining fringe experience and definitely an offbeat brand of comedy worth experiencing.

At first glance, Charles Barrington appears to be the comedy love child of The Mighty Boosh’s Howard Moon spliced with a pinch of Hunter S. Thompson and the voice of Matt Berry. Needless to say, he encompasses a rather grandiose character when he steps out on stage. It’s a great visual and Barrington is rife with potential. He is a fine example of a comedian with plenty of promise, but in need of a little polish.

Barrington’s style is something difficult to pin down immediately. Is he a one liner comic, or a storyteller? He’s neither here nor there, but somewhere in between. His jokes are a little too long to be one-liners however they don’t develop into stories and go off on tangents, wrapping together neatly like most storyteller comedians.

Barrington takes a one-line gag and runs with it for several minutes, striking gold with his audience without ever advancing any plot line or narrative because there isn’t really one to begin with. That’s not to say they are pointless; they make sense, but his style of comedy is unique and difficult to define or compare. He’s unlike anyone I’ve seen before. It’s unexpected and ultimately indefinable.

The show starts off slowly, warming into the audience as Barrington is slightly reminiscent of Hannah Gatsby and her stoic rhythm. The audience was quite warm and receptive as Barrington hit his stride midway in to his act. The show is not a laugh a minute; it’s more a chortle here, a snigger there with several brilliant moments that build up and showcase some great talent lurking beneath the surface. The Shakespeare rap in particular is really very impressive, both amusing and skillful. The self-written reviews are self-effacing and a beautiful lampoon on comedy reviewers, not to mention hilarious.

The show I attended was an hour of good, solid entertainment that could do with a bit more consistency. A tighter beginning with a bit of punch is all that’s needed to improve a solid act Charles Barrington delivered an enjoyable night out with plenty of laughs.

Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall: Trying Hard

Neil Sinclair: PANIC!

In Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall’s latest one-man show, Trying Hard, we are once again treated to the laidback and self-deprecating charm of the young Canadian-Australian. No stranger to the Melbourne comedy circuit, there is definitely something fresh and new in his latest outing.

In 2011, the London riots were plastered all over the news, footage of burning buildings and teenage looters smashing in shop windows were littering television screens across the globe. It was all rather horrific, but in his show Panic!, comedian Neil Sinclair manages to bypass the nastiness and focus on the funny as he recounts his own experience of the riots as a bystander.

By Tara Fergus

By Danny Bakhsh

Nihilistic and neurotic, the most unique aspect of Alasdair’s quirky onstage persona is how comfortably he interacts with the audience. There are a number of theatre set pieces early in the show. True to form, he seamlessly breaks the fourth wall with tightly scripted jabs at his efforts.

The man is very serious about not taking himself seriously.

Trying Hard deals with the ongoing struggles of a young man pursuing a career in stand-up comedy.

And in doing so obviously sets out to figure out that whole, pesky meaning-of-existence thing. This narrative cleverly structures the show around the often absurdist one-liner style of its host. The first half of the show details the journey of the show’s protagonist through a series of sketches, and the second half is a more traditional stand-up routine.

The observational humour and social commentary shift effortlessly between intellectual and crude. If you look closely enough there are often elements of both in every line. Although his well-crafted shambolic delivery may not be for all, there are definitely elements of a young Louis C.K. in the works here.

As seems to be the case with most contemporary stand-up, there is the inevitable bit of philosophy.

Sure we have to deal with Alasdair’s conclusions as to the meaning of existence, but it becomes quickly apparent that this is not the place to find the answer. Refreshingly this was his intention all along. It is, however the place to find a lot of laughs.

Whatever the setting, Alasdair Tremblay-Birchall is always worth a look.

Armed with a blue light and a cassette tape, Sinclair turns his small Britainia themed set – it’s mostly a flag on a coffee table – into a delightfully surreal space and delves into the main narrative of the riots with little preamble. A few witty one-liners and a ukulele later and we’re off. Sinclair is able to capture his audience’s attention quickly and is an apt storyteller, while managing to keep the topic light and amusing. The narrative of the riots is peppered with a few amusing sub-sketches mixing elements of the past (an army commander with a transatlantic accent) with familiar modern devices (Twitter) to create some gold. However, I found these subplots had a tendency to be overwrought at times, the joke losing its potency with a sometimes too strung out punch line.

Sinclair himself is a talent; he’s energetic and has loads of potential and promise. He even has a charming English accent to work with, but the show itself needs a small re-working. Panic! ends quite abruptly and could perhaps be helped with a bit more back-story, especially when performing to an international audience.

That being said, the show I attended was very enjoyable. There’s minimal audience participation, so it’s a good option for the more reserved comedy lover. Panic! is an original concept, and as with all new ideas it may need a little nipping and tucking before it can become great. Many comedians might find it can be all too easy to retread the safety of the tried and tested, but ultimately dull topics. It’s nice to see Neil Sinclair offer up a new topic to bring about more originality in comedy.

I’m looking forward to seeing more from Sinclair in the future, he’s one to watch.

Brothers

By Tara Fergus

Two Guys, a Girl and a Microphone

By Kirsty Wilson

Imagine if everything you watched on television was condensed onto heavily edited and censored VHS tapes. Perhaps, just try to first imagine that we still watched things on VHS. It all sounds pretty awful, right? Welcome to the isolated world of Sam and Carey. Named after their creators, Sam Rankin and Carey Griffiths, they are the titular protagonists of Brothers, a charming two-man stage play that is thankfully the exact opposite of the horror that is a poor quality video tape.

Sam and Carey are twin brothers and at 25, have become two overgrown boys rather than men.

Sheltered and somewhat helpless and naïve, the brothers are almost completely cut off from the outside world by their overbearing and paranoid working mother. She appears in the show as a disembodied voice, absent from her sons’ lives, except through the cassette tapes she leaves for them, outlining a litany of ‘safety warnings’ and the aforementioned VHS tapes edited down for wholesome entertainment only. However, after her sudden death, Sam and Carey are left to fend for themselves for the first time in their lives.

It all sounds rather gloomy and creeptastic, but it’s actually irreverently funny to the core. The show reminds me a lot of the SBS series Wilfred in terms of humour. There’s no man in a dog suit devouring nachos, but the laid back style of Brothers is evocative of the same unpolished ‘Australiana’ offerings in Wilfred. The jokes often border on the facetious and the show feels relaxed, like you’re watching a couple of your own mates up on stage.

That’s not to say it isn’t well done. Rankin and Griffiths are both more than decent comedic actors who bring their namesakes to life. The show I attended played to an enthusiastic and packed audience, but still ran tightly and kept to its advertised hour-long running time, a sometimes difficult feat with this type of show. It’s obvious that a lot of work has gone into producing Brothers and it pays off.

Dotted with hysteria and occasional thoughtfulness, if Brothers makes its way back for another comedy festival it is one show not to be missed.

As Two Guys, a Girl and a Microphone are preparing for their Melbourne Fringe Festival show, it's hard to imagine it's their first together. Lauren is handing Sam Anticol and Sudafed, the "crack for colds".

Roland is doing his stretches (well he's not but he says he does before a show) and they're cracking nervous jokes about the big night ahead. So comfortable are they together that I'm sure they all sit on the couch in their onesies watching Zumba lessons on TV. Roland might be late and forget to wear a onesie, which could turn Sam into a raving psycho, but you get the drift (check out www.twoguysagirlandamic.com). So, it's a little surprising when they appear on stage separately.

Lauren Bok bounds on and launches into an animated routine about a fitness faux pas, webbed feet (which gave her an anti-gasm) and her ex-boyfriend's big gross red wine and kebab spew, in bed. Exaggerated facial expressions and witty lingo are her trademarks. She even sings you a, er, song with her ukulele!

For those who have a more intellectual humour, Roland Luffmann is your guy. Unassuming and laid-back, (so much so that a homeless man skipped him when asking people on a train for change) he tells stories of trying to register as a sex offender before he actually "offended" and his Macbeth-type performance of bogans getting caught fair evading was original and clever.

Good old Sam Peterson alludes to himself as a retarded Harry Potter, with his big baby blues, black rimmed glasses and lopsided smile. When he delivers a few naughty words and punch lines it's hard to believe they came out of such a nice guy! The laughs kept coming as he took us through his online dating experiences that led to a dodgy homosexual park encounter, recited some of his slightly horrific poetry and took us out with a Napoleon Dynamite-type song-signing.

Two Guys, a Girl and a Microphone are relatable, funny and have the right amount of quirk. It would be great to see them on stage together, but regardless, these guys are on their way.

Joel Tito - The Trial and Death of Socrates (No Relation)

By Margaret Zoides

Joel Tito: I am certain that it’s only a matter of time before this name is well known throughout Australian households.

Joel is a talent. Since founding the comedy troupe ‘Vigilantelope’, Joel continues to receive praise for his work, receiving various comedy awards and nominations, including the Melbourne Fringe Auspicious Arts Award and the prestigious Golden Gibbo.

Joel can make you laugh with his eyes closed, quite literally. Even before the show began Joel had us at the sight of his kimono wearing sidekick, Kitajima Saburo, a creation most likely influenced by his comedic studies in Tokyo.

His ability to hold a crowd, to sing, dance and act are praiseworthy. He is a chameleon, one whose many talents allow him to morph into a diverse set of characters with little effort. The material is witty, sharp and yet delivered with a confidence and understanding of what really makes his audience tick. Joel confesses a love for interacting with his crowd, an admission that is evident in his natural ability to draw laughs from his impromptu probing of the audience.

It must be said that the story told was thought provoking, however somewhat misplaced if looked entirely from a comedic perspective. The story of a strange and lonely man who meets his demise did seem problematic for Tito, with the middle of the performance lacking the energy that had wooed the audience at the start. Ultimately the story is abstract yet relatable. With Tito’s main character Socrates, so different from the normal man, evoking empathy from the audience is no easy feat.

It is this underlying intellect, so evident in his writing and performance, paired with his ability to maintain a narrative that will ensure Joel’s future successes. There is no denying Joel stands alone as a master of his trades. It is hoped that he continues to be recognised for his abilities and that in time Joel Tito is a name we truly do remember.

Wizard Sandwiches

By Kirsty Wilson

Five talented Aussie fellas calling themselves Wizard Sandwiches have unleashed dozens of funny-arse sketches on Melbourne's Fringe Festival. Dressed in matching t-shirts and sporting enthusiasm galore they yelled, shouted and played their way through an hour of entertainment like a bunch of hyped up drama students left alone for too long. Which was a good thing!

Wizard Sandwiches poked a cheeky satirical finger at the American and German military, religion, nursery rhymes, fundraising and a particularly unsettling school principal. Nothing was off their radar. The audience was kept on their toes as they followed fast-paced and inventive skits. Crowd favourites included a misleading and dramatic game of charades, as well as a friendship triangle that involved strange noises and a few uncomfortable moments. The Wizards were even kind enough to allow the audience to contribute to the show, when a “Master Impressionist” later acted out words that were collected at the door upon entry.

Armed with minimal props, disguises, hilarious accents, and impressive sound effects backed by a weirdly appropriate soundtrack, Wizard Sandwiches had the laughs rolling in. Playful, clever and solid performers, they are confident on stage and know their material like the back of their hand, which is half the battle when entertaining a crowd. It’s plain to see that these guys love what they do. The enthusiastic performances can at times feel a little overdone, but all is forgiven when the joke doesn't disappoint. Wizard Sandwiches are a big dose of refreshing young talent. Definitely worth paying for.

Check out when the next Wizard Sandwiches gig is: http://www.wizardsandwiches.com/ Search Wizard Sandwiches on You Tube to see how these fellas got their name. Worth a look!

By Caitlin McInnis Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee is Jerry Seinfeld’s new web series with each 10-minute episode featuring a vintage car, coffee and a well-known comedian friend of Seinfeld’s. It should be noted here that many believe Jerry stole the idea for the show from England’s Robert Llewellyn, who has been doing his show for a while now; Carpool, which runs on the same premise. The similarity of the two shows doesn’t seem to bother anyone really except for some of Llewellyn’s die-hard fans.

Seinfeld is always easy going but the guest sets the overall tone of the episode which can either make it incredibly apparent the show is about nothing, or make you feel so enamoured by the romance of show business and comedy that you wish you were them.

Episodes featuring Alec Baldwin, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner are highlights of the series. They are all so alluring and inherently funny that you are always left wanting more.

In the fourth episode, Baldwin exercises modesty whilst demonstrating his great skill at conversation and impersonations. In the ninth episode, Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner are incredibly at ease, as they should be considering they are comedy royalty. They are intoxicating, as their episode reminds you of what really good comedy is: intelligence, timing and charm.

Not every episode is as awesome as these. There are other coffee dates that in contrast do not necessarily highlight the good side of the comedian... In the Ricky Gervais episode Seinfeld has managed to capture the everyman who got lucky, who doesn’t quite fit into the fame world. In comparison to other guests on the show, he doesn’t seem to have much to say.

COMEDIANS IN CARS GETTING COFFEE

Above: Jerry Seinfeld with Larry David.

Below: Ricky Gervias with Jerry Seinfeld.

The same unease accompanies the Michael Richards episode. Although he is entertaining and the repertoire between the two comedians is enjoyable, once Richards brings up his anti-Semitic outburst and apologises for it again, the bubble is burst. What really should be a light hearted 10 minutes turns awkward.

Ultimately if Jerry Seinfeld makes an inoffensive, easy-to-watch 10 minute show in which you get to see him hang out with his comedy buddies and generally be funny, you’re gonna watch it.

The cars are also pretty nice.

See for yourself: www.comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com

Try and think of something that nobody hates.

It’s not easy.

Some people hate winter, others hate summer. Some people hate sex, others hate not being able to have sex.

Some people may hate this article and others will hate themselves for not reading it.

Although what about laughter? Only a crazy person would hate laughter, right? And even that’s not true because my uncle was crazy and he never stopped laughing. Laughter is a great thing. There’s nothing better …although trying to make people laugh is a different story altogether.

Being in the audience is fun and relaxing but being on the stage is lonely and terrifying. So why would anybody decide to step out of the audience? I typed ‘Quotes about stand-up comedy’ into Google and could barely find anything, so then I typed ‘Quotes about cheese’ and found thousands. People obviously know more about cheese than comedy, which is a real shame because comedy, in this writer’s opinion, is more intriguing than a block of ricotta.

Take my advice and watch these documentaries, comics will relate and audience members will be fascinated.

STAND OUT Stand-Up Docos

By ROB CARUANA

Comedian (2002) This documentary follows two comedians, Jerry Seinfeld and Orny Adams. Jerry wants to perform; Orny wants to be famous. Jerry and Orny are very different people, yet they both choose to do the same job. They only cross paths once in the movie, and on the DVD Jerry explains that he never saw Orny again. The film shows the hard work that goes into creating comedy, and how every comic has a different driving force.

The Aristocrats (2005) The Aristocrats is a dirty joke that Steven Wright has called the secret handshake amongst comedians. This film explains the joke then features some of the biggest names in comedy telling their own version, such as George Carlin, Billy Connolly, Gilbert Gottfried, Robin Williams, Bob Saget, Sarah Silverman and many, many more. Although it’s not the greatest joke, there is a valuable lesson for all wannabe comics here: It’s not how you tell it, it’s how you sell it.

Heckler (2007) Heckler is a documentary about…you guessed it, hecklers. Although it’s more than that, it also deals with film critics and internet fans. It shows comics and actors being insulted, booed and poorly reviewed. Some people hate hecklers, others don’t seem to really care; this film features short interviews with various comedians giving their own opinions and retelling some bizarre stories. The film shows some amazing footage, like when Kenny Moore smashed a guitar over an audience members head. Ironically Heckler ultimately becomes a documentary that criticises the people who criticise.

STAND OUT Stand-Up Docos

By Rob Caruana

Joan Rivers: A Piece of Work (2010) Joan Rivers works very hard for what she’s got, she is obsessive when it comes to consistently working. At 75 most people have retired, although Rivers is trying to find work. This documentary deals with her life and career, the ups and the downs. Joan is the type of person who was born for showbiz, it’s more than a job it’s her life. Comedy takes a lot of time and effort, and although it seems hard for her, I think it’s what keeps her going.

Woody Allen: A Documentary (2012) When most people think of the greatest comedians of all time, they think of Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Billy Connolly, Bill Hicks…although often people seem to forget Woody Allen. Although he only performed stand-up comedy for a short time, Woody has produced endless comedy films, records, books and screenplays. His stand-up comedy is still as funny today as it was in 1950 (When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.) It’s not easy to make a movie on a person whose career spans over half a century, although this film does a pretty good job. The interviews are interesting, and the footage is hilarious. Even if you’ve never been interested in Woody Allen, I guarantee you’ll walk away from this movie with a desire to learn more.

Other great Stand-Up Comedy Documentaries include, Believe: The Eddie Izzard Story (2009), Basic Black: The Lewis Black Story (2010), I Am Comic (2010), Talking Funny (2011) and I Ain't Scared of You: A Tribute to Bernie Mac (2011).

When Is It Okay To Laugh?

By Aidan ‘Taco’ Jones

T

he other night a comic shared a story with me that made me think a little about what we comics do on stage.

This whole Jill Meagher thing - it clearly sucks. I mean there's no person that you can find anywhere that is going to argue against you when you say that what has happened is a terrible thing. It's sad.

It's terrifying. It's abominable. It's awful and no one wants to see it happen again. The tougher fact to swallow though, the one that I think scares more people every time something like this happens, is that it will happen again. Without a doubt something like this will happen again. Both here, and elsewhere. These are the things that happen in life and the world; the fact that we can't stop it, more than the individual event itself, is the scariest most frustrating thing.

The comic that I spoke to wasn't talking about this at all. He was telling me about a gig he'd done earlier in the night where he'd told a rape joke which had died IN THE ASS. I won't retell the joke here for the sake of anonymity, but it really wasn't that bad.

Dying on stage is never a good feeling and clearly one that every comedian wants to avoid whenever possible. So when this particular comic was approached by another of our peers after the show and told, “Hey man, the reason that probably didn't go down so well was because of that girl's body being found this morning – everyone's still pretty sensitive." He was understandably annoyed at himself. He just hadn't thought about it. The joke was written before any of this happened and in no way references the event. The guy telling it simply hadn't thought to take into account the sour feeling that had permeated throughout the city when he railed off his predetermined set to a crowd of raw, emotional Melbournians.

Inevitably some people will come out in the aftermath of this and tell jokes about it – jokes conceived with the only aim being the telling of raw, touchy material. Then after this person tells their big 'shock-value' piece, a slew of outraged editorials and censorship-jockeys will come back with their teeth showing; screaming about how these degenerates should be silenced and jokes about such serious topics should be banned and their advocates silenced. This argument will be beside the point.

The whole reason we do comedy – the undeniable raison d'être of the comic – is to get laughs. Sure sure, change the world. Spread your philosophies and ideas about life, love, stress and setbacks, yes...

Be Bill Hicks and rant, relentlessly, against the scourges of our modern era. But if you don't get laughs, then your message will be lost on a sea of silence. The audience will be bored by your preaching and your stupid, stupid face. I don't think that jokes like this should be illegal or even discouraged. Make all the filthy rape jokes you want, but be prepared if your joke comes too early due to keenness for envelope-pushing.

That's the thing that I think annoyingly eager bad-taste comics and annoyingly sensitive audiences both tend to forget: the aim behind a joke is to make people laugh. If they succeed then everyone's happy. But both parties have to be prepared for the attempts at entertainment to fail.

The comic has no right to be angry at the audience for not liking his joke, but by the same token the audience has no right to take away the comic's ability to make further jokes in the future. You can stop listening, and no doubt they will when the three-thousand nine-hundred and ninety-ninth ‘SO-HOW-ABOUT-THAT-RAPE?' joke is met with burning-hot silence. But that's it. That's all you're allowed to do.

My final thought on the topic is that I think people need to have a little faith sometimes. Sure those among the comic community who delight in blue humour still have to exercise respect and patience in timing their jokes with really touchy subjects like this, but if someone does make an attempt at humour that ends up falling flat then maybe give them the benefit of the doubt. The difficulty is no one can tell how a joke will do until it is told. No comic walks on to a stage with their internal monologue reading, 'I can't wait to make all of these people feel like pieces of shit'. It doesn't happen.

I have a strange little faith that most people, most of the time, are trying to do the right thing. While everyone's ideas about what the right thing IS differ wildly, we're all trying. The person making the off-colour joke wasn't trying to rub salt into an already painful wound, people! He was just trying to take your minds off the sadness of the situation with what he found helped him take his mind off of it – a little dark humour. Anyway I think I've made my point. But just to reiterate: Comedians: Think of your audience. Will they find it funny?

Audience: Think of your comedians. Why are they on stage in the first place?

WHAT’S IT ALL ABOUT?

2012 MELBOURNE FRINGE FESTIVAL AWARDS NIGHT

There’s always a question of relevance when it comes to awards in artistic endeavours, especially in a festival that celebrates diversity in their writers and performers. It seems counter-intuitive trying to rank one show over the other in such a subjective way. However, I’m glad to say that the awards section of the night was fun and quick, with a greater emphasis on celebrating Melbourne's Fringe participants getting through their three gruelling weeks!

It took a bloomin' long time for me to finally get to the Melbourne Fringe Hub; the wonderfully decorated North Melbourne Town Hall. However the Awards and closing night party drew me in to have a drink and, of course, a boogie.

For an artist, the whole sordid process of putting on a show started several months before this night. At our quieter moments staring at the ceiling at night or working our boring day jobs, we wondered, planned and dreamed. We agonised over what little production money we had, cursed at time spent away from creating and really questioned if our ideas were good enough to show the world. So after all that and the whirlwind of three weeks that was the festival, the closing night saw an awesome release of energy.

Being my first awards night I was thoroughly impressed and relieved at the speed of the awards ceremony itself. No speeches, together with a simple one sentence introduction from each category insured we moved quickly through the awards. I hadn't seen many of the opening categories unfortunately but I certainly paid strict attention to the award for best Comedy.

There was some stiff competition as well as a wide range of comedy stylings; straight stand-up comedy, improv, musical, theatrical and some avant garde stuff.

So when my friend Josh Ladgrove secured Best Comedy for Choose your own Portenza, I was equally thrilled and surprised. Not surprised that he won. Surprised that a show so loose and far from 'normal' could be considered for an award. It says so much about the strength of Melbourne's comedy scene; that audiences are willing to dabble in the weird, to be taken in by an eager man-child celebrating his birthday.

Unfortunately I hadn’t been able to see the highly recommended Slutmonster, but heard good things from those that had.

After the award winners all trundled off backstage (to be told the secrets of artistic success by the Melbourne Artists Illuminit, I’m guessing…), we all got down and with-it to Fee Bee Squared’s excellent taste of music. Over the course of a few hours we all mingled in our own way, ranging from in-depth analysis and conversation with fellow artists to recreating authentic 60’s twisting with flair. It was a fitting end to the evening’s festivities; a mass of young, bizarre and cultural types mucking about in the dark with their supportive friends.

Sounds about right.

One Comedian’s Festival A PROFILE

written by: Claire Sullivan

CS: Was he taller than you?

He wasn't really.

CS: Older?

He did karate.

We both laugh.

Alasdair Trembley-­Birchall, 28, is an interest-­ ing guy. Instantly likeable with his deep Canadian accent, goofy locks of hair and large yet slightly-­askew glasses, he gives the visual impression that his physicalities would easily translate into a Pixar cartoon character.

Perhaps, as an older brother to the boyscout in Up. Yet beneath this sunny exterior is a young comedian wrestling with the almost-­crippling reality of life and the meaning behind it.

What's 'our purpose' and whether or not it can be dictated by Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and running away.

Alasdair is doing something that most people fear;; he's putting on a full-­length comedy show for the Melbourne Fringe Festival. He was kind enough to talk me about life and comedy during the short and brutal yet rewarding festival journey.

Claire: Where did you grow up?

ALASDAIR TREMBLEY-­BIRCHALL: I was born in Scotland.

CS: Really?

My parents met in Scotland, they were both looking for their ancestors. They met in a hostel there.

Illustration by: Stephanie Gray

I was born in Scotland, in Aberdeen and I grew up near Montreal in a town called Boisbriand. It means 'shiny wood'.

CS: What were your friends like as a kid? Did you have a bestie?

I had this friend, probably my best friend, for a couple of years. With that, I'm trying to find a bit to do about running away.

CS: You ran away?

I have this thing where I often... If something feels shit, like if I have a job and I'm hating it.

I'll just go, “I'm just going to quit, I'm going to just quit.” And I quit and it feels so good. I've done that with girlfriends and things like that where I say, “This feels awful, I just need to get out.”

And you emerge. laughs I don't know why I did that but it's definitely what my body was telling me I had to do. I'm trying to find where the root of me running away was from.

In year three I used to go over to my friend, Jack's1 house, almost every day. Sometimes he would be a jerk, he would either physically hurt me, or he would be messing around or he'd say something.

He was just more certain, more confident. If, for some reason he hurt my feelings, I would just wait for him to go to the bathroom and then I would just leave.

That was my only way I could punish. I don't think I ever wanted to hurt him. I was just, “Well if you do that I just won't be your friend.

You'll lose a friend.” I did it a bunch of times but we'd still hang out all the time. I don't think it was ever really brought up.

One time I was trying to run away but only pretending to run away. I remember taking my bike and going out the front and around the side and hiding in a bush. I saw him run down the driveway and just go, “Ohhhh Nooooooo!”

I was just, “Aww so sad for him but at least it has the effect that I want.”

-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­-­ The other night I was invited to Alasdair's preview show. After it I asked how he felt.

ATB: There's this episode of Bevus and Butthead where they get to have sex. They're both saying how now they can think of other things because before all they could think of was having sex and now that they've done it they can think of other stuff. Like that, now I can focus on something else because I know what this show is going to be like. Still needs lots of work though.

For some reason I've been wanting to do a bit about the meaning of life, even though I don't really believe [in it] as a concept.

CS: You don't believe in the meaning of life?

I don't believe in a predetermined meaning. I don't believe in God, I think that would be the only way you could have one. I've got a bit that comes up with some kind of answer that I'm happy with. The reason why I do that is

because I want to go “Boom! That's the meaning of life done in the first ten minutes of the show.”

You have an engineering degree, don't you?

Yeah, that was part of wanting to please my parents. How do you even make up your mind on what you want to do when you're leaving high school? I decided I wanted to become an engineer, because, when I was younger I always played Ninja Turtles and I was always Donnatello. I thought, “Oh I guess that's what I want to do. He's an inventor and I really like him.” I asked what's the closest to that and it turns out an engineer is pretty close.

Do you remember when you were first interested in comedy?

The real point where I started making a decision about it was, at the end of uni. While I was writing my thesis, Youtube had just became popular and I was just spending all my time procrastinating by watching Comedy Central Presents and old stand up stuff.

Even then I remember finding it hard to find people that I really liked. The first person I thought was amazing was Mitch Hedberg.

Then I had a thought, “Wait a second, these people are just people. Maybe they weren't born like this they just started to do and they worked towards it and did it.”

I have a lot of a really obvious revelations like that.

Throughout high school I'd see the Gala on TV and that was always a thing that I'd been really interested in, it wasn't until then that I thought, “Oh it's possible to do that sort of thing.”

And then I did a Raw Comedy there, I was in Canberra at the time.

Is there much difference between this years and last year's show?

Trying Hard and The. This one is trying to follow a particular path.

It's slightly more ambitious. There are also more random things in it. Costumes and treadmills. It's going to be a bit more playful.

So I want it to give it purpose. But I have to be funny, who gives a shit about someone's point of view if it's not funny? In practise it has to be jokes. Have to be showing it not saying it.

Throughout the interview Alasdair mentioned many comics that he likes, or likes the way they are business minded, or are his greatest influences, so these are the comics that he mentioned.

Dayne Rathbone, Zach Galifinakis, Mitch Hedberg, Jonathan Schuster, Patton Oswald, Chris Rock, Louis CK, Daniel Kitson, Bill Hicks, Dave Schappel, Josh Thomas, Sean Bedlam, Shayne Hunter, Shane Matherson, Jerry Seinfield, Rodney Dangerfield, Norm McDonald, Bill Bailey, Dylan Moran, Bill Burr, Bill Cosby, Richard Pryor, Marc Maron, Maria Bamford, Tommy Tiernan, Lisa Lampenelli, & Ross Noble.

Why do you do comedy?

I do comedy so that I don't regret my life. It's what I was spending all my time doing, [watching stand up clips on YouTube] before and then I was like, “Oh this must be for me.”

It's your actions and how you are, it's what you drift towards naturally without consciously thinking about it. The definition and the label that you put on yourself is the afterthought, right? Rather than the thing that you are and you act accordingly.

I think I've made some breakthroughs here.

How'd you go at Raw? It was my first gig then I didn't really do it again for 2 years so I don't really count it.

I'm really interested in stuff like that, because I really see it as a long journey. In my mind, it takes ten years to do some decent comedy and so for me it's like, “I don't care that I've failed so much.” Actually I have a lot of footage from when I first started doing open mics. I've re-­watched one and it was particu-­ larly horrible. I was at a backpackers and it was just an open mic and it's filled with people, no-­one's listening, I'm trying to say these awful jokes and really confidently and you can just see people being snarky in the background .

That's when I decided I wanted to do it [comedy].

Alasdair Tremblay-­Birchall can be seen on www.alasdairtb.com and also around the Melbourne Stand up comedy scene.

He was interviewed by Claire Sullivan: Raw 2011 National Finalist and interviewer extraordinaire.

Interview by: Claire Sullivan

Bev Margosis sees Canberran Comic Kale Bogdanovs perform his last show before He makes a break for New York.

When asked about plans for his trip Kale replied “I will primarily settle in New York and play it by ear, I have some contacts in East Village so will be off doing some gigs at the East Ville Comedy Club. I don’t plan to be pushy about gigs, I am trying to simply improve my craft. I am not going to brick myself in to one place;; I’ll go where I am happy. San Francisco is on the radar as the comedy scene there busted out in the early nineties;; it tends to have a more alternative vibe.” Kale is certainly keen to dip his toes in the water with the focus of his trip being to concen-­ trate solely on his comedy. He believes he has worked a ‘real’ job long enough and plans to use his savings to embark in this journey and keep going until the money runs out.

Often Australians will talk about how the audiences are different in America as opposed to Australia. When I ask Kale about this he was not so sure audiences anywhere are different, “just white people where we shouldn’t be”. One of the goals he wants to achieve in the US is not to simply ride the wave of being comfortable, but to challenge himself and work on truly engaging the audience. Kale feels that one of the end goals of being a stand up is to have the audience so interested or intrigued by you that they want to hear more, whether you’re on or off the stage. He does not want to change himself to suit an audience but wants to be able to take the audience in the right path so they get who you are. Kale’s return to Australia will see him doing a tour and sharing and showing in his words “match fitness”.

Kale has been involved in the Canberra Comedy scene for 7 years. In this time he has performed in Capital Punishment multiple times at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival and has also performed his own solo show. Kale has decided to take himself off to the USA in November this year.

I had the opportunity to sit down with Kale before his first CD recording on Tuesday 11th September at the Tuggeranong Art Centre. Kale as always is warm and comfortable to be around and this makes it easy to have a chat with him about this new adventure he is embarking on.

When asked what the thinking was behind the CD Kale explained “I think it’s important to have a point of reference as this year is my chance to really expand myself and my comedy. The CD will be a great barometer of how I change and evolve during my time away.”

Kale’s CD recording performance was fantastic.

Neil Sinclair emceed with local support acts in the shape of Jay Sullivan and Simon Bower.

Kale has a casual, comfortable stage presence much like a pair of comfy corduroy pants! He flowed effortlessly from one observation to the next, the crowd appreciating his rants and observations. My particular favourite was his ‘Boorowa’ story where he explains about one of the most memorable gigs he has ever done, followed closely by his thoughts on ‘Bruce from work’ and his clear dislike of this particular individual. It is an amazingly well put together example of why in reality “sarcasm is not the lowest form of wit, it is actually the kindest way to say F*#k you”.

Kale is natural on stage and leads you on a journey in which there are twists and turns, at times teetering on the cusp of inappropriate.

Even when he doesn’t just teeter but actually stamps his foot on the inappropriate, he is still able to win you back. He is an endearing performer that I enjoy immensely. He is currently ‘on fire’ with his comedy and never fails to knock it out of the park.

‘ISSS MY BIRTHdAYYy!’

BY CARLY MILROY

COMEDIAN JOSH LADGROVE CHATS TO YAWP ABOUT TAKING HOME 2012 MELBOURNE FRINGE FESTIVAL’S BEST COMEDY AWARD, HIS GOOD FRIEND DR. PROFESSOR NEAL PORTENZA AND THEIR RECENT BITE FROM A CAT BURGLAR...

So you've snagged Best Comedy for 2012 Melbourne Fringe Festival! Talk us through your thoughts as you approached the stage to collect your award.

Well, when I heard they were awarding a highly commended, I thought "Oh, well, that's nice, I've got a commendation, that's not too bad I suppose.” I've had one before, and it certainly doesn't look too shabby on a poster or flyer. When I heard 'SlutMonster' read out, my entire thought process changed. It was a combination of "Oh well, bugger, I've missed out, plenty of great shows in this year's Fringe, nice to be nominated..." and "Holy shit, maybe I'm actually going to win this award!" When I heard the word 'Choose', everyone around me screamed. Some people screamed right in my ear, so this disoriented me. I just sort of stood there for a moment and then I felt people pushing me towards the stage. To understand that thought process, I recommend putting a bag on your head and getting a friend to hit you over the head quite firmly with a cricket bat, and then tell you to navigate your way to Smith street using Apple Maps. Utter confusion and a slight buzz in the head.

In a festival of extreme diversity, what would you say stood out most about 'Choose Your Own Portenza'? Was this something you were wanting to achieve when you created the show?

I think the interactive remotes and the walkmans were a nice point of differentiation, and the sheer level of interactivity throughout the show is certainly something that people tells me stands out. Having said that though, I realised that these things don't actually matter that much. This Fringe differed to the Comedy Festival in that I was more at ease as a performer, I was enjoying myself on stage for the first time in a long time, and I gave the audience something different every night but always something fun. I think that's maybe what stood out this time. I was having fun on stage, and this meant that (most people, certainly not everyone) people were having fun in the audience. It was a fun show to perform.

In terms of whether or not the interactivity and the fun was something I wanted to achieve in the concept stage, that's an emphatic yes. I definitely wanted to create a unique show. I'm not sure if I succeeded but the other goal was also to have a show that's just pure fun, and in that regard on most nights (I hope) I succeeded. At least I had fun. You know, whenever someone doesn't have fun they're never sitting up the back. They're always in the front row with their arms crossed. Not sure why that is. Didn't bode well for a guy at my fundraiser show however, he got covered with a glitter explosion of happiness. I'm pretty sure he hated me for the rest of the show.

Tell us a bit about the show's predominant character Dr. Professor Neal Portenza - how did this guy come into existence? How has he evolved, if at all, since his first appearances?

Hmm. I can't remember exactly how he came to be, but I remember doing Raw Comedy one year, and thinking that I preferred doing characters to being myself on stage. Personally, I think I'm terrifically boring off stage, so why would anyone want to see that on stage? Characters are fun though. Neal let me ramp my own personality up into fifth gear and beyond. The voice, the costume, the make-up; I think there is a lot of Micallef influence there. A mix of Roger Explosion and Milo Kerrigan. The voice evolved pretty organically though during 2010 Melb Fringe. As I got angrier on stage the voice got raspier, so I kept it like that. The 'Dr. Professor' at the front was Yawp's very own Beau Fitzpatrick's idea!

The character has definitely evolved, and now I'm learning Neal's limits. How much is too much, what is too subtle or too aggressive, what is acceptable, how much I can improvise and be loose with the character? These are all questions that I'll never really answer but it's fun to keep playing around with it. I like Neal as the 'protagonist' of my shows, but more often than not people prefer my other characters, which is half a compliment and half an indictment on Neal...

‘ISSS MY BIRTHdAYYy!’ BY CARLY MILROY You've secured Best Comedy award in spite of being an unlucky victim of some mid-festival kleptomania, yes? What happened?

Ah yes. Some person, whose life isn't going terribly well I imagine, stole my laptop and my friend Andy's laptop I was borrowing as well as a few other bits and bobs from The Tuxedo Cat. I had to do my final show of Fringe without any tech whatsoever. If you know how tech-heavy my show is that's pretty ridiculous. Having said that though, having no tech was utterly liberating and made for a surprisingly fun, if not very, very weird show.

Has this thievery altered the course of your comic endeavours at all; practically or conceptually?

Yes, surprisingly. I think it was somewhat of a godsend. As always the omnipresent Dr. Brown was around to give me some sage advice. Something along the lines of, "Dude, don't worry about your laptop dude. The audience are here to see you, not your stupid laptop and shitty remotes dude." He says 'dude' a lot. I think when I lost my tech I lost a lot of inhibitions and I did the show as 'Josh' as opposed to 'Neal'. The results were surprising. There's something in that spontaneity that is simultaneously terrifying and almost drug-like.

The Melbourne Fringe Festival is notorious for celebrating unconformity by hosting considerably divergent acts. As a comedian performing in this kind of arena, how does the custom of an awards ceremony contribute to your experience of such a festival?

I've always thought awarding 'Best Show', 'Best Dance' etc is a little odd. I think the concept of ranking one show against another, which is implicitly what happens with any awards ceremony in any arena, is inherently problematic and could be easily addressed by simply changing the name to: "Luckiest Bastard This Year".

Having said that, perhaps that's a little disingenuous of me... Clearly, there are some shows that generate so much buzz, excitement and positive word of mouth, that they ought to be rewarded. If for nothing else, to put more bums on seats when they do their next show. Dr. Brown's show this year was an absolute stand-out, and in my mind at least clearly deserves its accolades. I feel very, very, very lucky to have been chosen for 'Best Comedy', as I know there were a stack of other very, very good, nay, outstanding comedy shows that were equally deserving of recognition.

The actual awards ceremony itself is always a great night and the Melbourne Fringe staff are an amazing bunch of people, who are supportive, friendly, warm and also know how to party. It's a nice way to cap off Fringe and to see all the people you've invariably not had time to catch up with during the festival.

What can we expect to see from Dr. Professor Neal Portenza next year?

You can expect to see a gradual shift away from Neal and towards Josh. This is something I'm working towards. As always though, there'll be more interactivity, fun, improvisation, laughter, nights in Adelaide with 5 people in the audience and hopefully twists and turns in the show where you'll go "Oooh", and "Ahhh".

I'm not sure about that last one. I'm not sure how good a writer I am and if I can include plot twists. I'm not sure I'll even write a script. I might just write a few dot points on the back of this napkin on my desk here and turn that into a show. Let's see what I've written already. Pay HSBC C/C, Owe Joel $40, iPod, finish spreadsheet, lemon, french onion dip. Ha! That sounds like a hilarious show already.

Keep in touch with what’s happening in the world of Dr. Professor Neal Portenza: facebook.com/neal.portenza

Damien and the Googleverse: A Heavy-Handed Satire John Potter The Google™ Clock buzzed. Damien opened his eyes, frustrated to be woken from his recurring dreams of threesomes in Parisian bathtubs.

“Good morning Damien!” intoned his Google™ brand coffee machine.

“Latte!” he barked, for he cared not for the feelings of this emotionless consumer item. The machine whirred into action.

“Emails!” he shouted.

“You have (4) new emails!” buzzed the coffee machine. Damien switched on the monitor of his Google™ computer and logged into his GMail account. Three of the emails were from supermod-­ els desperate to make use of his famously large genitals. He groaned and marked them as “spam”.

The fourth email was far more interesting – would be interested in a Google™ credit card?

Why, indeed he would.

Twenty minutes later the new credit card arrived, courtesy of Google™ Post. How thoughtful of Prime Minister Roxon to remove the stranglehold of Australia Post, he ruminated. With interest rates of 6.5% for the first year (453% interest p.a thereafter), this deal was unbeatable. At last he could by a copy of The Best Of Concrete Blonde CD album, much prized since their bass player had been executed in Cambodia for war crimes several years before. The cavalcade of thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his Google™ Phone, as powered by Android.

“Damien!” his assistant Alicia shrilled into the earpiece “Have you taken your Google™ Viagra yet?”

“Curse you woman, for you are insatiable!” he boomed into the receiver “I only just woke up.”

Damien didn’t even wait for a response before slamming his Google™ Phone down. He sighed, slipped into his Google™ dressing gown and settled down to work. Since signing up for the online Google™ Drive, Damien had no reason to go to the office anymore. Allowing Google™ to sift through the contents of his hard-­drive in order to target his advertising more effectively was a small price to pay for avoiding a fifteen minute commute in his chauffeured Google™ Car (in reality, a refurbished 1995 SEAT Ibiza). Sipping on his Google™ latte he pondered on the existence of the Googleverse™ (formerly “The Universe”) and everything that it contained, before springing to his feet with barely controlled glee.

“I can’t believe I just worked out the meaning of life!” he shouted. This was it. Now he would finally be featured in a Sunday Life lift-­out – the culmina-­ tion of a life well spent.

A knock on the door interrupted his spirited jig.

Damien answered it, only to find two Google ™ Law Enforcement Agents – a most unwelcome surprise. His brow furrowed in annoyance.

“How may I help you officer?” he asked, an air of indifference masking his inner frustra-­ tion.

“We were legally sifting through the contents of your Google™ Drive,” said an agent “when we came across some…. forbidden material.”

The agent elongated the last words more than Damien felt was necessary.

“As a consequence we’d like to have a brief friendly chat down at the Google™ Re-­Education Centre” added the other.

Damien gulped.

“I’m afraid I’m busy” he said, his meek voice belying his muscular frame and hulking presence. Damien turned just as the agent cleared his throat.

“Perhaps you misunderstood” was all that was said before Damien was promptly tasered in his firm, yet supple, rear.

When Damien came to he was strapped to the outside of a Google™ Rocket aimed directly at the Sun. “You’ll never get away with this!” he roared to no-­one “One day people will learn of the folly of putting all their trust behind a search engine!

Who could have foreseen Google going mad with power and taking over the planet? WHO?” “Launch sequence initiated, in 5, 4, 3, 2….”

“THE PEOPLE WILL NEVER STAND FOR THIS!” he shouted above the roar of rocket engines. It seemed to Damien that this was an awfully expensive way to dispose of an Enemy Of The State.

As the rocket launched Damien squeezed his eyes shut, and in the last moments before plunging into the nuclear furnace he fervently wished he’d voted for Apple instead. At least he might have gotten an iPhone. _____________________________________

By Dan Brader

DO A WINDMILL!

I’m originally from a small town in the South Island of New Zealand called Invercargill. To give you an idea of what kind of town Invercargill is, I’ll tell ya this: When I left the place at aged nineteen the song most frequently emanating from car stereos was Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer”.

When I returned to the town again for an extended visit at age twenty nine, the song most frequently emanating from car stereos was Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ On A Prayer”.

In Invercargill, Bon Jovi will forever be livin’ on that prayer...

So yeah, Invercargill is one of those towns where everybody takes their fashion cues from twenty years ago and the typical teenager’s idea of entertainment is driving up and down the main streets over and over and over.

I came back to Invercargill to do a homecoming gig of sorts in June. A lot of my old high school buddies came to the gig. The boy racers, with their music and fashion choices stuck in 1987, thankfully stayed away from the gig. Oh and I actually made a fair bit of cash from the door takings which is always a nice surprise in the world of comedy where making twenty bucks from a gig is often considered a typical night. So when I decided to do another gig in September I expected the same story. I expected a packed, attentive crowd and a fair bit of cash.

Well, that didn’t happen. Instead the show wound up starting over forty five minutes late due to some technical dramas and there were only fifteen people in the crowd. I’ve performed to two people before so I’ve had it worse but still fifteen people at a gig is never ideal. And these fifteen people had somehow gotten the idea that this show should involve them. All throughout the first half they shouted out random comments or wandered off to take phone calls and order drinks loudly. There were a handful paying attention, but I wasn’t looking forward to going on and playing to these drunk, distracted morons.

Cut to the second half.

One of the acts does a routine in which he talks about making windmill motions with his penis... For some reason this crowd thinks this is the funniest thing ever. When their laughter finally subsides, they seem to collectively decide that for the rest of the gig they’ll just shout out, “TAKE YOUR PANTS OFF! DO A WINDMILL!” at random intervals for the rest of the night.

The next act gets barely three minutes into his set when the shouting is so loud and out of control he decides to give in to them. He starts taking off his top which he throws into the crowd. The crowd loves this but they really want their windmill! The windmill chant starts again over and over. This poor young comedian is relatively new to the scene and doesn’t really know what to do. He starts taking his pants off and the chant grows louder.

Then he decides just to bail and runs off the stage awkwardly.

I’m on next. I don’t even manage to get to the mic! They’re all yelling “WINDMILL!!” over and over at a deafening volume. The insanity escalates when a woman from the crowd rushes to the stage and starts pulling my jeans down. I’m trying to comment on this whilst keeping her at bay with the other hand. Finally I manage to get rid of her ,but the opening five minutes of my set is just me dealing with the crowd chanting “WINDMILL!” or suggesting I entertain them with other sexual acts. When I finally manage to get into my material it’s only the most ribald of gags that gets them laughing, so I stick with that kind of gear before finally heading off stage to get a much needed beer.

Of course when we get home from the gig the first thing the other comedians and I write on each other’s walls is “DO A WINDMILL!” Of course I immediately change my profile picture to the shot of the lady pulling my pants off and my status is, of course, “DO A WINDMILL!”.

We’re hardly ‘above it all’. In fact, in a weird way we kind of enjoyed it.

We’re gigging in Invercargill again this week...

A strange part of me hopes my pants get pulled down again.

Reality: A Fantastic Comedy

By Josh Samuels

I love watching television, but the ‘Reality’ and

I’ll relate a story, to which the movie rights are still available.

Reality TV is hilarious because of the exaggerations; an average Reality TV show has at least a million hyperbolic incidents per episode.

Titles like Keeping Up With the Kardashians have no basis in fact. Taking into account their disproportionate busts and the stilettos they wear even an amputee could easily keep up with those women. Reality TV is great escapism - unlike the show Prison Break, which locks you in.

Once upon a Tuesday evening I was forced to read a hard copy The Age to see what was on telly that night, as my girlfriend was using my iPad to read The Age in digital form. As I trolled through the listings I noticed, through perceptive wizardry, the number of Reality shows dwarfed Fantasy programs on a giant scale. Needless to say this discovery catapulted me into a downward spiral.

When I need authenticity I tune into Fantasy television. Where else in the TV landscape can you find people dealing with real social issues? True Blood: an examination of societal prejudices concerning inter-species love. The X-Files: an existential discourse on faith and scepticism in modern life. Highlander: the series a treatise on the pains of getting old, and being Scottish.

How am I supposed to learn about the human condition? Not by watching The Jersey Shore or its inspiringly titled UK counterpart, The Geordie Shore. I watch those shows to see strange creatures in distant lands acting in ways unimaginable in normal life.

The main difference between Reality TV and Fantasy TV is the degree to which characters develop. For example, in Buffy the Vampire Slayer a young woman overcomes the demons in her life to become a well-rounded individual. Contrast this with The Shire, where the only noticeable growth in Sophie and Vernesa comes from collagen and silicon (arguably though this does make them more well rounded in certain areas). In Reality people do not grow and mature; this strictly only happens in the realm of Fantasy.

‘Fantasy’ genres really confuse me. I’m grateful for simplistic genre names, as my tiny mind faces a difficult task understanding complex words to discover what would be salubrious to my viewing tastes.

I watch shows like Game of Thrones and Xena: Warrior Princess for the experience of seeing truthfully drawn characters behaving in emotionally grounded ways. Sure programs like Being Laura Bingle and Big Brother are entertaining because they are outlandish and have surreal storylines, but they aren’t grounded in an emotional truth that teaches life lessons.

Not like Sabrina the Teenage Witch.

I then realised that swapping the genre names “Reality” and “Fantasy” would solve the problem of my confusion. From now on when I watch Australia’s Got Talent I will recognize it for what it is: Fiction.

Follow Josh Samuels: www.twitter.com/joshsamuels2 http://ozploitationcinema.blogspot.com.au/

RUE B TUESDAYS THE VILLAGE Edinburgh Gardens

1st-4th November 2012

BY SUREN JAYEMANNE

The cursor has blinked on a blank page for some time now. I can’t help but feel a bit like Carrie, from Sex and the City. Then I am embarrassed and ashamed to be feeling a bit like Carrie, from Sex and the City.

Ruby Tuesday, a Rolling Stones song from 1967, tells the story of Keith Richards’ one time girlfriend who eventually shacked up with Jimi Hendrix. Ruby Tuesday, a restaurant with franchises all over the East Coast of America, took its name directly from the Rolling Stones tune. Rue B Tuesdays, the new comedy night at Melbourne’s much loved Rue Bebelons, doesn’t really have much I happen to like wordplay.

www.thevillagefestival.com.au

I’ve only been doing this comedy thing seriously for around eighteen months now, which give or take six months is roughly the same time as my colleagues in the room-running venture; Murphy McLachlan and Anthony Jeannot. So perhaps it’s a little ambitious to be dipping our toes into what is essentially producing a comedy night. Especially in a city where there is a common misnomer that comedy exists for only four weeks of the year; the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. Perhaps.

But if my experience is anything to go by, when you come up with a good title for something you just have to run with it regardless of any other considerations. Ok. So that’s a joke.

The fact of the matter is starting up a new comedy room, if all goes to plan, can be a very rewarding experience for all involved.

For audiences there are the laughs of course, but also a little more awareness about the genuine comic talent out there on the local Melbourne scene. For comics there’s the opportunity to I, it’s a way to do a little bit to help build the local comedy scene in Melbourne.

Spleen, the sell-out shows every night all across Manhattan, and even Shapiro Tuesday’s 150+ regular weekly audience in Perth, it’s clear that people love to laugh and that a comedy night is a fun way to spend an evening.

As the old adage goes: “as the old adage goes”. And as that other working for three years in a full time corporate role, I discovered what Rue B Tuesdays is about for me. Trying to create a room in which audiences can socialise and have fun on what would otherwise be a lacklustre Tuesday night. Where comics will love

sure you enjoy it along the way!

Rue B Tuesdays runs through September, with drink specials from Rue Bebelons, 267 Little Lonsdale Street, Melbourne. Entry is $5.

OLD MAN EXFORD

BY JESSE BROADHURST

Go on and grab a drink. I’ll still be here. I’ll always be here. The Exford sure ain’t going nowhere neither.

Maybe it’s an old man’s memory playing cruel tricks on him, but I remember some three-score years ago when Jimmy ‘the Kid’ Mencia and Mean Joe Albersson fought each other to a stand-still over fifty-two bloody rounds. Then they started making out right there on the stage. Worst stand-up act I’ve ever seen.

The Exford has always been here, long before I was but a naïve liar in short shorts scrumping apples from old man Patterson’s backyard with little Bobby Campbell. We’d run off with our stolen goods and eat them under the bridge before going our own ways home to supper. Little Bobby was always up for games and hijinks. I never imagined the day would come when I’d have to kill and eat that fat bastard. But the times change, and don’t give no heed to the wants and dreams of snot-nosed little boys.

Hell, I’m rambling and there you are with your drink just wanting to see some comedy on a Thursday night.

Well, you come to the right place. ‘Cause The Exford Hotel has always been here and always will. The comedy Is free, fast and funny. I know you young folks have got the impatience and all, what with your electronic reading machines and the Final War ever-approaching. But I tell ya, once you sit back in one of those comfy lounge chairs upstairs at The Exford Hotel with a drink in your hand, listening to some of Melbourne’s finest comics prattling on as they do… guaranteed you’ll forget all about the looming shadow of the apocalypse. And that’s a fact you can take to the bank, sir.

You’ve been good to listen to this broken old man tell his tales for so long. I’ll leave ye be in peace soon enough. Just remember that the old Exford Hotel is here. When the Darkness comes, bringing his beautiful daughters Death and Terror with him, The Exford Hotel will be here still. On Thursday nights, upstairs from 8:30pm it’ll be a light in that darkness. And the laughter will never die.

A Love Letter To Perth Comedy And A Liberating Shift I have been living in New York City for the past year, and am planning on continuing to live there but am currently in Perth sorting out a Visa related situation. Being back in Perth this time around has only brought me up to speed with the love that I have for this comedy scene. In New York City, if you are unknown you may just have to pay to do an open mic, to who you ask? Oh, 5 other upset comedians. Why is that?

Well, there’s a collection of people that organise comedy over there that love money and also notice the ease involved in manipulating an artist when the market is so packed and competitive.

There are rooms in which you don’t have to pay, but there are more that you do have to pay at, providing that the scene doesn’t know you yet.

Unfortunately the scene is set up against you to some extent, so there is no visible way to ascend up the scene – it can most definitely be done – I mean that’s the wonderful thing about art, no one can really hold you down, as an artist – YOU HAVE THE POWER – and can choose to take that straight to the people rather than go through the middle man. And that is something New York City has taught me, f#@$ the middle man, go straight to the people.

People are realising this, and the middle man is dying, burn I say, BURN! It’s happened in the music industry and the publishing industry, and it is happening in the comedy industry.

Now strangely Perth is quite far ahead in this, there is no monopoly, there are only the people and the artists.

There is a new comedy festival in Perth, but it is FOR THE PEOPLE. There are new comedy nights in Perth, but they are FOR THE PEOPLE. Let me give you a little run down of Perth and then tell you my amazing, liberating discovery I have made since being here (that will be at the end of this article – if you’d like to skip there now J). The Perth comedy scene is wondrously excelling in the area of genuine comedian satisfaction and quality of audiences;; this is a scene run by the people for the people. There really are no adults over here. We are young and free, there is no pressure, and we are all doing it “just because”. The newest of Perth comedians get to discover the world like newborn babies, there are few regulations and plenty of opportuni-­ ties to try your craft relatively consistently before an actual audience that wants to hear it. Is there monetary profit? Hell yeah, you get paid real well, or at least ‘real well’ in comparison to a lot of other comedy scenes around Australia. Who runs Perth comedy?

No one. Well…the comedians do and not in a cliquey way either…and they also go to dinner afterwards, as they are, for the most part, all friends. The power of Perth comedy is that the comedian is the focus 100%, there is little ‘television’ and ‘red-­carpets’ over here, so there is far less pressure to “be something” so people are free to be “anything”, which in turn breeds a lot of experimentation and unique points of view that continually flow out of this small scene to surprise the world and nation.

So interestingly, despite Perth’s relatively tiny comedy scene, there are a lot of stand out performers that continue to emerge from here.

The problem with a lot of comedy scenes is that those comedians that are doing well, try their hardest to maintain their status and to keep those that aren’t doing quite so well, as far from them as humanely possible – there is a lot of distance.

Not in Perth, in Perth capitalism does what it was supposed to do, the comedians that are at the top, for the most part, their ‘profits’ will trickle off and bring up the quality of life for those that are down the bottom -­ the entire scene moves forward together somehow and benefits greatly from this. The collectivism leads to a most brilliant individualism. Are there are crowds? Yes, you can start a new comedy night and have a room with 100 people in it on the first night. Guaranteed?

Nope. But it can be done for sure, even if you are a nobody. But try and do that in New York City and you will have wasted your time, in Perth there’s probably nothing to do anyway, so your room may just have a lot of people interested in visiting it and hoping to laugh.

There’s comedy on every night practically, and even if you are unknown it’s very often that you get to try out new jokes to a rather large audience. In a huge comedy scene such as New York City you only get to try out your new stuff to other comedians, and if you are so unlucky – they will all hate you and want you to fail miserably. Shapiro Tuesdays Comedy Night is legendary in Perth. It sells out every week and the rule is that everyone gets to go on. What???

A popular night there are so few regulations??? Yes, the counterintuitive direction of the room just happens to have lead to one of the biggest, freshest and most exciting hits in town – and I daresay in Australia – I’ve seen shows there before that I am sure only existed in that space and time in history, some truly magical things. It would appear that the more the doors were opened to comedians, the more they loved the room, the more they loved the room the more the crowd felt that from the comedi-­ ans, the more the crowd felt that the more they loved the room, and this cycle recursively repeats itself from the start of the show till the finish.

Anyway…my recent visit back to Perth has taught me something. And that is, it is the people, the comedians that count, not the middlemen.

They are now redundant, we don’t need them anymore, and you are no longer a Perth comedian, you are no longer New York City comedian, you are no longer a whatever-­location-­based-­comedian you are – you are now an International Comedian. Everyone is. The middleman is dying, you can now connect with people like never before in the history of humanity with such ease, you can put on your own show in the incredible Perth International Comedy Festival, you can do so at the Edinburgh Comedy Festival, you can twirl some magic at the Melbourne Comedy Festival, you can start your own comedy night in Brooklyn, you can make your own show on YouTube, you can take your power back and make your own path. And I was enlightened to this by simply being back in Perth and feeling the wonder, buzz, excitement and empowering state of the scene – how unexpected, but how liberating.

Localisation is a dead mindset – bear in mind it is not a dead action – staying in one place only is absolutely fine, it is the limited scarcity of that thinking that is the problem. NOFX had it right “Dinosaurs Will Die”.

Below are a number of their lyrics that say wonderful things that I will now listen to. J Have a nice day wondrous readers. “Music written from devotion Not ambition, not for fame, Zero people are exploited, There are no tricks, up our sleeve. Gonna fight against the mass appeal We're gonna kill the 7 record deal. Make records that have more than one good song. The dinosaurs will slowly die, And I do believe no one will cry, I'm just fucking glad I'm gonna be there to watch the fall. What happened to integrity? It's still there it always was. For playing music just because a million reasons why, dinosaurs will die”

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS This issue of Yawp has been made possible thanks to the following contributors:

Lliam Amor - illustrator Danny Bakhsh - writer Kale Bogdanovs - writer Dan Brader - writer Kelly Breton - illustrator Jesse Broadhurst - writer Rob Caruana - writer Brendan Croxon - web designer Tara Fergus - writer Stephanie Gray - illustrator Harley Hefford - writer Suren Jayman - writer Aidan ‘Taco’ Jones - writer Josh Makinda - writer Caitlin McInnis - writer Nick O’Connell - writer John Potter - writer Sam Rankin - writer Josh Samuels - writer Claire Sullivan - writer Rob White - writer Kirsty Wilson - writer Margaret Zoides - writer