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John Sebastian —&— David Grisman Saturday, January 20, 2018 8:00 PM
Contributions by Rock & Roll Hall of Famer John Sebastian and mandolinistcomposer-producer David Grisman have been profound, with many considering them two of the best ambassadors that American music has ever had!
Musical Thrones
Emile Pandolfi with Dana Russell: February 14 Al Stewart: The Year of the Cat Tour: February 16 Heart Behind the Music with Alabama’s Teddy Gentry, John Berry, Lenny LeBlanc & Linda Davis: March 9 Shaun Hopper & Joe Smothers: March 23 Black Violin: Back by Popular Demand!: April 24
Thursday, January 18, 2018 7:30 PM
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Kit & the Kats: February 3
On Golden Pond: April 5
A Parody of Ice & Fire Be transported to Thrones’ magical locations (if you close your eyes), with Daenerys and her dragons, Tyrion, Jaime and all the jolly members of the Lannister and Stark Families, where bloodthirsty musical theater comics leave no joke unturned.
2018
Dawn Wells: What Would Mary Ann Do? April 28
American Spiritual Ensemble Saturday, January 27, 2018 — 8:00 PM
Comprised of some of the finest classically trained singers in the United States, the American Spiritual Ensemble’s dynamic repertoire ranging from spirituals to classical to jazz and Broadway numbers, highlights the Black experience.
For Tickets, call 336-887-3001 or visit HighPointTheatre.com
Acts and dates subject to change. For the latest news, go to HighPointTheatre.com
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JANUARY 10-16, 2018 VOLUME 14, NUMBER 2
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PHOTO BY DANIEL WHITE
JAN UARY
FR, JAN 12 - SA, JAN 13
ZOSO
5500 Adams Farm Lane Suite 204 Greensboro, NC 27407 Office 336-316-1231 Fax 336-316-1930
THE ULTIMATE LED ZEPPELIN EXPERIENCE
SU 14 COLLIE BUDDZ
W/ THE HOLDUP
FR 19 THE BREAKFAST CLUB 8P SA 20 BOULEVARDS W/KOOLEY HIGH/ LONNIE WALKER/ZENSOFLY
TWO AMERICAN NIGHTS AQUARIUM 8P ! MO 29 BROCKHAMPTON @THE RITZ FR 26SA 27
ART BY JOMO
CO M I N G S O O N
2/2 2/3 2/8 2/8 2/10 2/11 2/16
KELLER WILLIAMS 8P PERPETUAL GROOVE 8P AJR: THE CLICK TOUR BIG GIGANTIC @ THE RITZ FAR TOO JONES 7P SLEIGH BELLS 7:30P THE SHAKEDOWN
Publisher CHARLES A. WOMACK III publisher@yesweekly.com EDITORIAL Editor KATIE MURAWSKI katie@yesweekly.com
JORDAN MORRIS, aka JoMo and Brrrains, is a 30-year-old weird hermit who draws, and loves his dogs and mom. And those are his words. He is also an artist who uses pop culture and cartoons as his inspiration.
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(PLAYS TOM PETTY)
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(MICHAEL JACKSON TRIBUTE)
2/18 Y&T 7P 2/23 EMANCIPATOR ENSEMBLE 8P 2/24 WEEKEND EXCURSION 7P 2/25 ERIC JOHNSON
W/DREAMERS AND THE WRECKS
3/23 COSMIC CHARLIE PLAYS “EUROPE 72” 8PM 3/25 BIG K.R.I.T & TY DOLLA SIGN @THE RITZ 8PM
3/27 BETTY WHO 4/6 RUNAWAY GIN 4/7 4/17 4/19 4/22 4/28
(TRIBUTE TO PHISH) 9P DAVID ALLAN COE 7PM TY SEGALL 7PM OLD 97’S 7PM ANDERSON EAST 7PM
PIGEONS PLAYING PING PONG 5/2 BLUE OCTOBER 7PM 5/12 JUPITER COYOTE 7PM 5/26 JAKE MILLER 8P ADV. TICKETS @ LINCOLNTHEATRE.COM & SCHOOLKIDS RECORDS ALL SHOWS ALL AGES
126 E. Cabarrus St.• 919-821-4111 www.lincolntheatre.com
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PRODUCTION Graphic Designers ALEX ELDRIDGE designer@yesweekly.com AUSTIN KINDLEY artdirector@yesweekly.com ADVERTISING Regional Sales Mng. KATHARINE OSBORNE
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RAILROAD EARTH 7P JAZZ IS PHSH 8PM LOTUS 8PM J.J. GREY AND MOFRO BOWIE BALL 8PM J RODDY WALSTON & THE BUSINESS 3/21 NEW POLITICS 2/28 3/2 3/3 3/4 3/10 3/16
Contributors KRISTI MAIER JOHN ADAMIAN MARK BURGER IAN MCDOWELL LAUREN DAVIDSON
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When you turn to this section of YES! Weekly, it’s often about a local restaurant, product or chef. We’re changing it up a little bit as our local artisan featured this week took an unusual career path THOUSANDS OF MILES away... 10 JAMES LESTER CLARK cooked the best ribs and told the best fibs of anyone I’ve ever known. He took the details with him when he died on Oct. 30, but the ribs started in his wood smoker, continued in his oven and finished over charcoal. 11 “OUT at the Movies,” WinstonSalem’s International LGBT Film Festival, will present a special screening of Jeffrey Schwarz’s acclaimed documentary feature THE FABULOUS ALLAN CARR Jan. 13 at the ACE Exhibition Complex, located on the main campus of the University of North Carolina School of the Arts School of Filmmaking. 12 Music and memory can get intertwined in powerful ways. Greensboro-based saxophonist, composer, bandleader and educator CHAD EBY booked the upcoming gig for his quintet at the Crown at Carolina Theatre and realized that the date, Jan. 26,
was pretty close to the day that his father passed away from cancer, 25 years ago. 18 During 2017, it seemed that movies mattered as much as ever. The YEAR’S BEST PICTURES often reflected the issues of the day: the persecution of minorities; rampant misogyny; honest journalists fighting back against alternate facts; the have-nots having even less. 24 JONATHAN “J. TIMBER” TIMBER is what some might consider to be a Greensboro legend. The first time I heard him play was on a balmy evening last summer and the conditions couldn’t have been more ideal. I was at a crowded Joymongers, and above the happy chatter and clinking glasses came a soulful sound. 25 Late last year Seattle-based AMAZON.COM announced plans to build a second headquarters in order to better serve its growing customer base in North America. Amazon says the new plant will cost $5 billion dollars to construct, and will eventually bring 50,000 jobs to the community that lands it.
Marketing BRAD MCCAULEY brad@yesweekly.com TRAVIS WAGEMAN travis@yesweekly.com ANDREW WOMACK andrew@yesweekly.com TRISH SHROYER trish@yesweekly.com Promotion NATALIE GARCIA
DISTRIBUTION JANICE GANTT JENNIFER RICKERT WILLIAM HEDRICK We at YES! Weekly realize that the interest of our readers goes well beyond the boundaries of the Piedmont Triad. Therefore we are dedicated to informing and entertaining with thought-provoking, debate-spurring, in-depth investigative news stories and features of local, national and international scope, and opinion grounded in reason, as well as providing the most comprehensive entertainment and arts coverage in the Triad. YES! Weekly welcomes submissions of all kinds. Efforts will be made to return those with a self-addressed stamped envelope; however YES! Weekly assumes no responsibility for unsolicited submissions. YES! Weekly is published every Wednesday by Womack Newspapers, Inc. No portion may be reproduced in any form without written permission from the publisher. First copy is free, all additional copies are $1.00. Copyright 2018 Womack Newspapers, Inc.
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EVENTS YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS | BY AUSTIN KINDLEY
be there FOUNDER’S HEMP HANGOUT WEDNESDAY WED 10
17th ANNUAL MLK PARADE SATURDAY FRI 12
SAT 13
SUNDAY
SAT 13
SUN 14
FOUNDER’S HEMP: FOUR SAINTS HANGOUT
2ND ANNUAL MLK BLACK & WHITE BALL
17TH ANNUAL MLK JR. HIGH POINT COMMUNITY PARADE
EAT, DRINK, AND BE MARRIED
WHAT: Come out to Four Saints Brewery in downtown Asheboro and learn more about the benefits of hemp and CBD. Founder and CEO, Bob Crumley, will be giving a short talk and also answering your questions. This is an event that you don’t want to miss! WHEN: 5-7 p.m. WHERE: Four Saints Brewery. 218 S Fayetteville St, Asheboro. MORE: Free event.
WHAT: MLK Evening of Elegance - The Black & White Ball. Featuring The Sweet Dreams Band. Tickets $35 per person or reserve a table of ten (10) for $350. Enjoy heavy hors d’oeuvres. Semi-Formal Attire. WHEN: 8 p.m. WHERE: Radisson Hotel. 135 S. Main St., High Point. MORE: $35 tickets. For more information or tickets contact Carl Chavis Memorial Branch 336-434-4000
WHAT: This event is to honor Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. The MLK Day parade is family friendly, entertaining, and fun. Its also an opportunity for the businesses, social and community groups that make this city strong to come out and be recognized,while supporting a common cause. WHEN: 1 p.m. WHERE: Mendenhall Transportation Terminal. 220 E Commerce Ave., High Point. MORE: Free event.
WHAT: Join us on Saturday for an afternoon of wining, dining and networking with other brides and local wedding experts. You will also have the opportunity to visit our private event space and enter to win the ultimate wedding experience including venue, catering, cake and more for FREE. We can’t wait to have you! WHEN: 1 p.m. WHERE: Morehead Foundry. 433-102 Spring Garden Street, Greensboro. MORE: Free event. RSVP: tammy@freshlocalgoodfoodgroup.com
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RIVERRUN RETRO: MARX BROTHERS’ “A NIGHT AT THE OPERA” W/ CHRIS HART WHAT: RiverRun Retro welcomes Christopher Hart, son of Moss Hart and Kitty Carlisle Hart, and Foster Hirsch, professor of film at Brooklyn College and author of 16 film and theatre books. On Sunday there will be a screening of A Night at the Opera at RED Cinemas. Hart’s mother, Kitty Carlisle, co-starred in the film. WHEN: 5 p.m. WHERE: Red Cinemas. 1305 Battleground Ave., Greensboro. MORE: $12 tickets.
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JANUARY 10-16, 2018
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NCDOT TO HOLD PUBLIC MEETING ON JAN. 18 REGARDING THE PROPOSED WIDENING OF ARCHDALE ROAD (S.R. 1577 / S.R. 1004) FROM ROBBINS COUNTRY ROAD (S.R. 1567) TO NORTH MAIN STREET (S.R. 1009) IN RANDOLPH AND GUILFORD COUNTIES STIP Project No. U-3400 The N.C. Department of Transportation proposes widening Archdale Road (S.R. 1577 / S.R. 1004) from Robbins Country Road (S.R. 1567) to North Main Street (S.R. 1009) from existing three and two lanes to three lanes with a center turn lane in Archdale. A public meeting will be held at Archdale Public Library located at 10433 South Main Street on Thursday, January 18th, 2018 from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m.
[SPOTLIGHT]
THE GREENSBORO SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA BY KATIE MURAWSKI
The Greensboro Symphony Orchestra is Greensboro’s flagship orchestral music ensemble and was founded in 1959, Daniel Crupi the Chief Operating Officer for the Symphony, wrote in an email. It is led by music director, Dmitry Sitkovetsky, who, Crupi wrote, in addition to his role as conductor, is regarded as one of the finest classical violinists alive. Sitkovetsky has performed in the world’s most famous halls and with its greatest orchestras, and he serves as an ambassador for Greensboro in every country he visits. “The Greensboro Symphony offers something for everyone,” Crupi wrote in an email. “Including classical masterpieces through its Tanger Outlets Masterworks Series; world-class chamber music through the intimate Rice Toyota Sitkovetsky & Friends Chamber Series; the best of Broadway, rock ‘n’ roll, jazz, and more through the Tanger Outlets POPS Series, and holiday cheer through its annual FOX8 / Old Dominion Triad Holiday Concerts.” Coming up later this month is the Tanger Outlets Masterworks concerts, which feature a program called Spanish Evenings on Jan.18 and 20, with classical guitarist, Manuel Barrueco. This “exotic evening” features the Rodrigo Guitar Concerto, as well as music by Ravel, Debussy and Rimsky-Korsakov. Jan. 21 is the next Rice Toyota Sitkovetsky & Friends Chamber concert featuring guitarist Manuel Barrueco and a Spanish-themed program, WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
Crupi said, this time in the more intimate setting of the UNCG Recital Hall. The next Tanger Outlets POPS concert is on Feb. 16, with Piano Men: The Music of Elton John and Billy Joel. Crupi said the Symphony is important to the Triad and Greensboro specifically because “great music provides inspiration. It brings diverse sectors of our community together. It fosters conversation and shared experience. Classical music helps us transcend the every day and tap into the eternal.” Crupi said the Symphony also acts as an economic development catalyst as well as a “bragging right for Greensboro.” Educating the next generation is a huge priority for the Symphony – of its 120+ annual performances, more than two-thirds are educational in nature. “Maintaining a world-class Symphony in your city is no easy task,” Crupi wrote in an email. “Greensboro should be proud to have successfully done so for over half a century. Many similarly-sized organizations across the country have been forced to fold under increased financial pressures – but this organization has been able to keep a balanced budget for years, thanks to the support of this community.” Crupi encourages anyone who has not been to see the Symphony to, “Come out and be inspired!” For tickets and more information visit the website at www. greensborosymphony.org. !
The purpose of this meeting is to inform the public of the project and gather public input on the proposed design. Maps of the study area, environmental features and proposed typical sections will be available on the project website for public review and comment. The public may attend at any time during the public meeting hours. NCDOT representatives will be available to answer questions and receive comments. Comments and information received will be taken into consideration as work on the project develops. Written comments or questions can also be submitted at the meeting or later by February 8, 2018. Please note that there will not be a formal presentation. Project maps are available online at http://www.ncdot.gov/projects/publicmeetings/. For additional information contact Jeffrey L. Teague, PE, NCDOT Division 8 Project Manager by phone: (910) 944-2344 or via email at jlteague@ncdot. gov; or by mail: 902 N Sandhills Blvd., Aberdeen, NC 28315. NCDOT will provide auxiliary aids and services under the Americans with Disabilities Act for disabled persons who wish to participate in this workshop. Anyone requiring special services should contact Tony Gallagher, Environmental Analysis Unit, at 1598 Mail Service Center, Raleigh, NC 27699-1598, by phone (919) 707-6069 or by e-mail at magallagher@ncdot.gov as early as possible so that arrangements can be made. Persons who speak Spanish and do not speak English, or have a limited ability to read, speak or understand English, may receive interpretive services upon request prior to the meeting by calling 1-800-233-6315. Aquellas personas que hablan español y no hablan inglés, o tienen limitaciones para leer, hablar o entender inglés, podrían recibir servicios de interpretación si los solicitan antes de la reunión llamando al 1-800-233-6315.
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triad foodies
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A taste of Winston in Los Angeles
hen you turn to this section of YES! Weekly, it’s often about a local restaurant, product or chef. We’re changing it up a little bit as our local artisan featured Kristi Maier this week took an @triadfoodies unusual career path thousands of miles away and is serving Contributor up slices of Southern hospitality and honoring her hometown of Winston-Salem. Brianna Abrams grew up in Winston and moved to Los Angeles in 2008 with her husband after she graduated law school. “My husband is from L.A., and after law school in D.C., we thought about where we wanted to be. We spent a summer here decided to make a life here.” Being a lawyer was what it was all about. But Abrams had also been baking pies her whole life, and her passion for baking was renewed after she discovered
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all the fresh fruit that is so abundant in the local markets in Los Angeles. Abrams was working in a big law firm in 2016 and had had her second daughter when her husband suggested selling her butter crust pies. Her husband set up a website and catering business for her, and she began baking pies in order in her offhours. “It was crazy,” she said. “I baked in the morning and late at night.” Being a full-
time mom of two and working as a lawyer got incredibly busy after a short period of time. She began selling to cafés, country clubs and movie studios. “There were 3,500 pies going out of my house,” Abrams said. “I was getting up so early baking and dropping off pies, and it was so chaotic. But it let us see if the concept would work.” Abrams said it was then she felt comfortable enough to leave the law firm.
They opened her pie shop last September, but not without coming up with what eventually became the right name. “We worked on a name for months and really didn’t love anything,” she said. “Then one day my husband suggested we call it Winston Pies. Winston is what everybody calls my hometown, and I thought it was perfect.” Abrams grew up in Sherwood Forest
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NEXT HOME GAME Friday Jan. 19 7PM
HORNETS NIGHT and graduated from Mount Tabor before attending undergrad at the University of North Carolina Chapel Hill and American University for law school. She said she doesn’t remember exactly learning how to bake pies, but that being in the kitchen was something that was a part of her family. “I grew up baking all types of things,” she said. “My conversations with women in my family centered on baking so many times. We’d knock ideas around, and it was how we related to each other and being in the kitchen and baking was such a big part of our relationship.” She added, “My sister bakes cookies. My mom is the cake maker. My grandmother, the pie maker. So I can’t put my finger where I learned it. Every day we were in the kitchen and baking.” Abrams said now her little girls are getting into the baking. “They’ve been in the kitchen with me since they were infants. They are with me and excellent at tasting. Anytime I have a new recipe; they are my tasters. Their palates are incredible. And they want to help with the pie shop, and that’s really rewarding.” Here in the South, a shop exclusive to pies is hard to come by. Even more so in Los Angeles. Abrams said she often has to explain to people how Winston Pies just dropped out of nowhere, particularly in the Brentwood neighborhood. “It’s not something that’s normal around here.” Abrams pie menu varies from traditional to the eclectic and offers seasonal items. “My favorite pie to make is cherry pie,” she said. Now that her shop is open, customers WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
tell Abram that’s the best cherry pie they’ve had. “It is the biggest compliment because it’s my favorite pie in the world hands down and I order it every time I see it on a menu.” She loves to work with traditional flavors in new and creative ways like with the Cowgirl Chocolate, which is a traditional Southern chocolate chess but with a salted caramel oat crust. But it’s important to have the classics; “Apple pie is still the most popular here,” she said. Abrams said they are working on shipping options for the future so they can ship regionally and she said if all goes well, she’d love to open other locations and Winston is definitely on the radar. Though a pie shop is an anomaly where she lives, Abrams said her customers are finding her, and she loves hearing their stories. “People come here from Winston, and they tell me they’re attending Wake Forest or that they’re just from the area, visiting here. Sometimes a customer walks in, and they’re from the South and homesick or feeling nostalgic, and they see our Southern aesthetic, and they have some pie. It’s so great that I can give them a touch of home.” !
w/ special guest appearances from The Honeybees, Hugo & the Swarm Squad!
VS. TO PURCHASE TICKETS CALL 336-907-3600
Marcus Paige
KRISTI MAIER is a food writer, blogger and cheerleader for all things local who even enjoys cooking in her kitchen, though her kidlets seldom appreciate her efforts.
WANNA
go?
You’ll have to travel to Los Angeles for now. Winston Pies is located at 11678 San Vincente Blvd., Los Angeles, California. Check out the website at www.winstonpies.com. JANUARY 10-16, 2018
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visions
SEE IT!
Remembering UNCG’s Jim Clark and his glorious lies
J
ames Lester Clark cooked the best ribs and told the best fibs of anyone I’ve ever known. He took the details with him when he died on Oct. 30, but the ribs Ian McDowell started in his wood smoker, continued in his oven and finished Contributor over charcoal. His tall tales of staged crucifixions at Greensboro Primitive Baptist Church beside his house on Carr Street (“You should volunteer to be nailed up,” he told new students; “it’s a good experience for a writer.”) and crazed hobos in the University of North Carolina Greensboro steam tunnels (“don’t go near that big grate outside the library after dark”) were just as elaborate but more spontaneous. It’s hard to say which were more delicious.
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FRI.1.12 Amnesia
(Dark Dance Party) w/ DJ Mauve Angeles Live performance by 30 Year Sick Door 9pm / $3 Cover
SAT.1.13 Heaven,
The Dead Bedrooms, & Vampiros Door 9pm / $5 Cover
THE STRANGEST BAR IN NC! 336-893-8591
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JANUARY 10-16, 2018
I met Jim while earning my MFA from UNCG’s creative writing department, where he was the director from the 1980s until his retirement last July. We didn’t interact much during those two years. I was told he didn’t like talking about his then-recent past as 1970s hippie priest turned radical journalist (he had a Divinity degree from Duke and founded the underground Greensboro Sun). I later learned he gladly answered any question, but not everyone liked his replies. After the MFA, the promise of a Teaching Assistantship lured me back for an MA in English Literature. When I told him this over coffee at the Pastry Museum, as we called Friar’s Cellar, Jim recommended teaching at night, saying smaller class sizes meant less work for the same money and undergrad night students were more motivated and less dumb. Once, standing outside his classroom, I heard him claim to be a very tough grader who never gave “A”s and only one “B” a year. When I later asked if this was true, he said: “Nah, I’m trying to get more to drop, so I’ll have fewer damn papers to read.” We bonded during those evenings in McIver building when he told me tall tales of the year UNCG responded to increased student enrollment by temporarily housing some in the “old cholera ward” under Jackson Library, and how several “went insane down there” and vanished into the steam tunnels, where they might still lurk. Thirty years later, I was looking for witnesses to the 1979 Biker Invasion of Tate Street, and Jim was the only one willing to go on record. When he described one café owner battling the bikers by blasting Beethoven at them from outside loudspeakers, I believed him, and still, do. A committed journalist as well as a merry prankster, Jim respected the profession too much to prank an old friend struggling to write a factual article. I’ve not yet written that article, which I pitched over a year ago. I was too busy working on easier ones, and then Jim was too sick for an interview. He seemed to get better. We talked about a cover story looking back from his upcoming UNCG retirement to his youth as a Snake Boy in Florida carnivals. And about his “College Hill Death Tours” of alleged murder and suicide sites near his house on Carr Street’s “MFA Alley,” a community which dwindled as incoming writing students became less tolerant
Daniele and Jim Clark with their granddaughter, Charlie Photo by Christopher Donald of bohemian decrepitude. But his health worsened, and this time, he didn’t get better. At the celebration of his life at Double Oaks Inn and Breakfast on North Mendenhall last Saturday, I cried when his daughter Josie Clark-Trippodo had a friend read her speech which she couldn’t read without crying, even though the part I best recall is her story of how Jim often made her late for high school by getting mad at other drivers and chasing them for 30 minutes and how, as she was going to be late anyway, she insisted he take out for a nice breakfast after each angry pursuit. Jim would have liked being remembered for that. My love of Jim’s mythology has led me to neglect his greatest legacy, of which acclaimed poet and UNCG professor Stuart Dischell said this:
“Jim was a fierce advocate for his students—the only director I know who voluntarily bailed them out of jail in the middle of night, buried their pets, helped them find apartments, jobs, refrigerators, and gave them instruction in writing, editing, and Early American literature that would last a lifetime.” To which I can only add: James Lester Clark was born in San Diego in 1945 and was raised in Florida, but spent much of life-enriching Greensboro, where he died on Oct. 30, 2017, after a protracted illness. He’s not telling his stories anymore, but we who were privileged to hear them will repeat them until we also fall silent. ! IAN MCDOWELL is the author of two published novels, numerous anthologized short stories, and a whole lot of nonfiction and journalism, some of which he’s proud of and none of which he’s ashamed of.
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‘OUT at the Movies’ kicks off 2018 with a Fabulous documentary
Mark Burger
Contributing columnist
“OUT at the Movies,” WinstonSalem’s International LGBT Film Festival, will present a special screening of Jeffrey Schwarz’s acclaimed documentary feature The Fabulous Allan Carr Jan. 13 at the ACE Exhibition Complex, located on the main campus of the University of North Carolina School of the Arts School of
Filmmaking. In the annals of pop culture, Allan Carr (1937-1999) certainly made his mark. As a producer and promoter, he brought Grease to the big screen in 1978 and won a Tony for producing the Broadway smash La Cage aux Folles in 1983. He is credited with launching the careers of such luminaries as Olivia Newton-John, Michelle Pfeiffer, Mark Hamill and, lest we forget, the Village People. The irrepressible impresario was also responsible for taking a low-budget Mexican exploitation melodrama about the infamous Andes plane crash and turned it into the box-office hit Survive! (1976), and he was instrumental in the promotion of Saturday Night Fever (1977) and The Deer Hunter (1978), the former bringing disco into the mainstream and the latter winning five Oscars including Best Picture. As well as triumphs, there were travesties: Can’t Stop the Music (1980), the bigbudget disco comedy extravaganza that starred the Village People, Valerie Perrine, and the former Caitlyn Jenner, which was a colossal box-office flop and inspired the Golden Raspberry Awards; Grease 2 (1982), which – if nothing else – provided a career springboard for Pfeiffer; and the 1989 Academy Awards telecast, widely derided as one of the worst in the Academy’s history. (Yes, that’s the ceremony where Rob Lowe and Snow White sang “Proud Mary.”) Whatever the outcome, positive or negative, Carr’s projects made waves – and headlines. Whether crash or smash, it was usually on a grand scale. Then again, there’s no such thing as bad publicity, a notion that Carr subscribed to. In a 1979 WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
interview with People Magazine, he called himself “the Mike Todd of the ‘70s,” referring to the extravagant producer of Around the World in 80 Days (1956) and one-time husband of Elizabeth Taylor. “I’m the Bianca Jagger of producers, always in the columns. People think I’m half Mork and half Mindy.” An outrageous, oversized personality, Carr packed a lot of living and partying into his 62 years, all of it encompassed in Schwarz’s documentary, hailed by Variety’s Dennis Harvey as “Garishly colorful, packed with stars, legendary parties, and a wide streak of pathos, it’s a singular life story entertainingly recounted.” James Ambroff-Tahan of the San Francisco Chronicle wrote: “If there is a lesson to be learned from Carr’s life, Schwarz says, it’s
to be tenacious and not let go of a dream.” World of Wonder’s James St. James stated: “This portrait of a showbiz legend is both hilarious and deeply sympathetic,” and Paul Constant of Seattle Weekly added: “This simply could have been interesting in a trainwreck way, but what elevates this documentary is its complex and finely structured portrait of its main character.” Schwarz’s credits include the awardwinning documentary features I Am Divine (2013) and Tab Hunter Confidential (2015), and the Emmy-winning HBO documentary Vito (2011), which examined the life of legendary activist Vito Russo, author of The Celluloid Closet. ! See MARK BURGER’s reviews of current movies on Burgervideo.com. © 2018, Mark Burger.
WANNA
go?
The Fabulous Allan Carr will be screened 7 p.m. Saturday in the ACE Exhibition Complex on the main campus of UNCSA School of Filmmaking, 1533 S. Main St., Winston-Salem. Tickets are $8. For advance tickets or more information, call 336.918.0902 or visit the official OUT at the Movies website: www.outatthemovieswinston.org/.
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tunes
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The Chad Eby Quintet to play The Crown
M
usic and memory can get intertwined in powerful ways. Greensboro-based saxophonist, composer, bandleader and educator Chad Eby booked the John Adamian upcoming gig for @johnradamian his quintet at the Crown at Carolina Theatre and realized Contributor that the date, Jan. 26, was pretty close to the day that his father passed away from cancer, 25 years ago. Like most of us who’ve lost loved ones, Eby thinks about the date pretty much each year when it passes. “It still resonated,” he said. But Eby got a creative spark this time, marking 25 years since his father’s passing. “That just got me thinking about how much my parents supported me when I was young,” Eby said. “I tend to do projects for my gigs because it forces me outside of what’s easy. It forces me to think outside of the box a little bit.” The Crown has become a regular spot for Eby and his groups of varying sizes. For this gig, partly because of the date, Eby settled on a project that related to his parents and how they fostered his interest in music. “My parents were avid jazz listeners,” said the 44-year old who grew up in Iowa, where jazz and African-American
12 YES! WEEKLY
culture weren’t necessarily pervasive. “You’re literally surrounded by 99.999 percent white people. That’s no joke.” Eby thought back on long car trips with his parents, listening to music of the era that his father had dubbed onto cassettes, everything from light folk to bebop. His father was a musician, having played horn in the military in the 1960s, which might explain how the elder Eby came to be a jazz fan. Pulling songs from those parts of his parents’ record collection — Eby has most of the old albums at his home now — wasn’t too much of a stretch for his band; much-loved tunes by Miles Davis and Dave Brubeck were natural fits. (Members of Eby’s quintet took to the project, some of them have experienced similar losses recently.) Eby’s band features Brandon Lee (trumpet), Ariel Pocock (piano and vocals), Steve Haines (bass), and Daniel Faust (drums). Some of the other non-jazz material may have required a little more mental flexibility. Eby isn’t keen to tip his hand about all of the non-standard songs that he and his band have worked up into the jazz-quintet setting for this event, but he’s confident that some of the songs will show up on future setlists. “I do think that some of these surprise-
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JANUARY 10-16, 2018
type tunes are gonna stick in my repertoire,” he said. In exploring the reaches of his parents’ record collection and seeing what worked with horns, there were some experiments that didn’t quite pan out. A jazz version of a country-pop hit by the Statler Brothers didn’t prove manageable for instance, says Eby. In his role as an educator, Eby is a frequent and energetic proponent of the doomed attempt, falling on your face, as a way of pushing artistic growth. So even those dead ends were part of the process. “We have to fail many many times in order to find success,” he said. Eby, who is also the artistic director of the Piedmont Triad Jazz Orchestra, in addition to teaching at University of North Carolina Greensboro’s Miles Davis Jazz Studies Program, has demonstrated wide-ranging sensibility as a bandleader and composer. He’s recorded tunes by avant-garde-defining composers like Ornette Coleman and Eric Dolphy, and bold pieces by Miles Davis, Wayne Shorter and Thelonious Monk. He’s also arranged songs by Tom Waits. Eby did an album that was inspired in part by the poetry of Shel Silverstein, the artist, author and songwriter who wrote songs made famous by Johnny Cash, Dr. Hook and Medicine Show, and Bobby Bare. Eby used the phrasing and rhythmic twists
of Silverstein’s poetry for children as a springboard for compositional ideas. The test, for Eby, is ultimately about whether something feels right. “I’m willing to play anything that makes sense coming out of my instrument,” Eby said. One thing that made a lot of sense coming out of Eby’s tenor sax was a lovely expressive and velvety solo interpretation of Duke Ellington’s majestic “The Single Petal of a Rose,” from The Queen’s Suite, a long-form composition that Ellington wrote for Queen Elizabeth II. Eby’s version, featured on his 2010 album Broken Shadows, is full of dynamic, breathy color, elegant vertical climbs and graceful slides. Balancing the traditional and the forward-pushing is something Eby does particularly well with his groups. His 2010 album New Business opens with the Miles Davis composition “Frelon Brun,” a piece of destabilizing grooviness from the era of Davis’s career that straddled acoustic foundations and hinted at the groundbreaking electric jazz that was just ahead. Eby is busy, mapping out connections to the past and paths of the future, expounding on the continuum of the music in his jazz history class. He’s also preparing for a Piedmont Triad Jazz Orchestra concert in March that will celebrate the music of Wayne Shorter. And one of Eby’s percolating compositional projects involves music inspired by Carl Sagan’s book Cosmos. The cosmic perspective presented by the astronomer, which Eby was exposed to as a teenager, changed his outlook. “It sort of blew my mind,” Eby said. Teaching young musicians have related mind-expanding qualities for Eby, who’s been on the faculty at UNCG since 2006. “My students regularly give me a new perspective,” Eby said. ! JOHN ADAMIAN lives in Winston-Salem, and his writing has appeared in Wired, The Believer, Relix, Arthur, Modern Farmer, the Hartford Courant and numerous other publications.
WANNA
go?
See the Chad Eby Quintet at The Crown at Carolina Theatre, 310 South Greene St., Greensboro, Friday, Jan. 26 at 8 p.m. $15.
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January 10-16, 2018 YES! WEEKLY
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Submissions should be sent to artdirector@yesweekly.com by Friday at 5 p.m., prior to the week’s publication. Visit yesweekly.com and click on calendar to list your event online. home grown muSic Scene | compiled by Austin Kindley
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BEERTHIRTY
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HAM’S NEW GARDEN
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5713 W Friendly Ave | 336.292.5464 facebook.com/thesomewhereelsetavern Jan 12: October, SOTM, Pleasure To Burn Jan 27: Greg Moore Feb 24: Murder Maiden
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2134 Lawndale Dr | 336.274.2699 www.idiotboxers.com Jan 26: Chanel Ali Feb 19: Sally Ann
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old niCk’S puB
191 Lowes Foods Dr | 336.747.3059 OldNicksPubNC.com Jan 11: acoustic Music with Couldn’t Be happiers Jan 12: karaoke w dJ tyler perkins Jan 13: Exit 180 Jan 19: karaoke w dJ tyler perkins Jan 20: Chasin Fame
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SECond & gREEn
207 N Green St | 336.631.3143 2ngtavern.com apr 28: perpetual groove & Marvelous Funkshun
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408 West 4th St | 336.331.3431 facebook.com/bulls-tavern Jan 19: gipsy danger
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3870 Bethania Station Rd | 336.815.1664
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620 Trade St | 336.723.0322 facebook.com/FinnigansWake Feb 7: Bedlam Boys Mar 7: Bedlam Boys
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Jan 28: Sunday Jazz Feb 4: Sunday Jazz Feb 11: Sunday Jazz
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630 S Stratford Rd | 336.768.2221 milnerfood.com Jan 14: live Jazz Jan 21: live Jazz
5455 Bethania Rd | 336.923.8623 Jan 11: open Mic w/ Country dan Collins Jan 12: wonderwall: Beatles tribute Jan 13: lulapalooza at the Mill Jan 13: ashley harrison Jan 13: the get Right Band Jan 14: Rob price and Jack Breyer Jan 18: open Mic w/ Country dan Collins Jan 19: Fiddle & Bow presents lindsay Straw Jan 20: the Country dan Collins Band Jan 20: groove Fetish Jan 21: Couldn’t Be happiers Jan 24: the Steel wheels Jan 25: open Mic w/ Country dan Collins Jan 26: Rachel Baiman Band w/ amber ikeman Jan 27: ash’s B-day Bash w/ gypsy Mountain Rose Jan 27: the Sam Frazier Band Jan 28: Elliot humphries Feb 1: open Mic w/ Country dan Collins
University Concert and Lecture Series presents:
LimÓn Dance Company
Fri, January 19 UNCG Auditorium 8:00pm
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theatre
STAGE IT!
Theatre Alliance presents Fun Home
M
ake your New Year’s resolution to see more live theatre! And this is a GREAT show to start your new year! Fun Home is a multiple-Tony Awardwinning production that follows the true story of Alison Bechdel, from her youth growing up in a funeral home that her family lovingly called the “Fun Home,” to her middle-age, where she reflects upon her life and her rocky relationship with her father, with whom she had nothing in common… and everything in common. Theatre Alliance is one of the first community theatres in North Carolina to get to present this groundbreaking production, and we couldn’t be more proud of the honor. Fun Home features Amber Engel (Ragtime, Addams Family) as Alison at 43, Bella Hart-Peck (Ragtime) is Alison at 19, and Alora Engel (Miss Saigon, Tarzan) and Cassie Levinson (TA newcomer) double as Alison at the age of 9. Gray Smith (A Tuna Christmas, Priscilla: Queen of the Desert, Buddy: The Buddy Holly Story, Million Dollar Quartet), portrays Alison’s father, Bruce, who struggles with his own demons. Heather Levinson (Violet, Next to Normal, Debbie Does Dallas) is Alison’s mother and Bruce’s dutiful wife. Loaded with humor provided courtesy of Paul Gunter (Ragtime), Christian Harmston (TA newcomer), Brandon Hicks (Eating Raoul, Disco Inferno), and Mary Upchurch (Heathers, Priscilla: Queen of the Desert). The seven-piece orchestra is led by Music Director David Lane and will lend a WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
Jan 12-18
[RED]
JUMANJI: WELCOME TO THE JUNGLE (PG-13) LUXURY SEATING Fri - Thu: 11:35 AM, 2:15, 4:55, 7:35, 10:15 MOLLY’S GAME (R) LUXURY SEATING Fri & Sat: 11:30 AM, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30, 11:30 Sun - Thu: 11:30 AM, 2:30, 5:30, 8:30 THE GREATEST SHOWMAN (PG) LUXURY SEATING Fri - Thu: 11:55 AM, 2:30, 5:00, 7:30, 9:55 THE POST (PG-13) Fri - Thu: 11:50 AM, 2:25, 5:05, 7:40, 10:15 THE COMMUTER (PG-13) Fri & Sat: 11:40 AM, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30, 11:55 Sun - Thu: 11:40 AM, 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30 KILLING FOR LOVE (R) Fri: 12:05, 7:40, 10:10 Sat - Thu: 12:05, 2:40, 5:10, 7:40, 10:10 I, TONYA (R) Fri - Thu: 11:35 AM, 2:05, 4:45, 7:25, 10:05 PADDINGTON 2 (PG) Fri & Sat: 11:45 AM, 2:05, 4:35, 7:10, 9:25, 11:50 Sun - Thu: 11:45 AM, 2:05, 4:35, 7:10, 9:25 INSIDIOUS: THE LAST KEY (PG-13) Fri & Sat: 12:00, 2:20, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40, 11:55 Sun - Thu: 12:00, 2:20, 4:45, 7:15, 9:40 ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD (R) Fri & Sat: 11:40 AM, 5:30, 11:20 Sun - Wed: 11:40 AM, 5:30 Thu: 11:40 AM
[A/PERTURE] Jan 12-18
PITCH PERFECT 3 (PG-13) Fri & Sat: 12:10, 2:35, 4:50, 7:05, 9:25, 11:40 Sun: 12:10, 2:35, 7:05, 9:25 Mon - Thu: 12:10, 2:35, 4:50, 7:05, 9:25THE SHAPE OF WATER (R) Fri - Thu: 11:30 AM, 2:10, 4:50, 7:30, 10:10 DARKEST HOUR (PG-13) Fri & Sat: 11:50 AM, 2:40, 5:25, 8:10, 11:00 Sun - Thu: 11:50 AM, 2:40, 5:25, 8:10 THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI (R) Fri - Thu: 2:35, 8:25 THE FLORIDA PROJECT (R) Fri - Thu: 12:10, 2:45, 5:15, 7:35, 10:00
THE DISASTER ARTIST (R) Fri: 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 Sat: 11:15 AM, 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 Sun: 11:15 AM, 1:45, 4:15, 6:45 Mon: 6:30, 9:00 Tue: 4:00, 6:30, 9:00 Wed: 6:30, 9:00, Thu: 6:30, 9:15 I, TONYA (R) Fri: 3:15, 6:00, 8:45 Sat & Sun: 10:00 AM, 12:30, 3:15, 6:00, 8:45 Mon: 6:00, 8:45 Tue: 3:15, 6:00, 8:45 Wed & Thu: 6:00, 8:45 DARKEST HOUR (PG-13) Fri: 2:45, 5:30, 8:15 Sat & Sun: 9:30 AM, 12:00, 2:45, 5:30, 8:15 Mon: 5:30, 8:15 Tue: 2:45, 5:30, 8:15 Wed: 5:30, 8:15 Thu: 5:45, 8:30 LADY BIRD (R) Fri: 4:00, 6:30, 9:00 Sat: 11:00 AM, 1:30, 4:00, 6:30, 9:00 Sun: 11:00 AM, 1:30, 4:00, 6:30 Mon: 6:15, 8:30 Tue: 3:45, 6:15, 8:30 Wed: 6:15, 8:30 Thu: 6:15, 9:00
311 W 4th Street Winston-Salem, NC 27101 336.722.8148
JAN. 28 - FEB. 18, 2018 Don’t miss one of the greatest American plays ever written.
gorgeous sound to the lush score, which lends itself to a folksy-pop sound. As an interesting note, composer Jeanine Tesori also penned the music to Violet, which TA produced a few years ago, and to Shrek: The Musical, which TA is producing in May. If you liked Theatre Alliance’s productions of Ragtime and Next to Normal, do yourself a favor and get your tickets today to experience the beauty of this unusual story that hits closer to home for many of us than we may think. Fun Home contains strong language and mature subject matter. It’s 90 minutes that will leave you wanting more in its wake. Start your new year with a new show! See you at the theater! !
Lorraine Hansberry’s searing drama about one family’s struggle to achieve the American Dream in the face of racial tensions and economic disenfranchisement changed the face of American theater, and remains as relevant today as when it was written.
TICKETS START AT $10! BUY DECEMBER 5 -TODAY! 24!
232 S. ELM STREET | DOWNTOWN GREENSBORO
232 SOUTH ELM STREET | GREENSBORO | 336.272.0160 | TRIADSTAGE.ORG
Buy tickets today! | TRIADSTAGE.ORG | 336.272.0160 JANUARY 10-16, 2018
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SCREEN IT!
flicks
The best and worst films of 2017
BY MATT BRUNSON
D
uring 2017, it seemed that movies mattered as much as ever. While the country burned as Nero continued to fiddle with his Twitter account, Hollywood did its part to put out the flames. In real life, sexual predators were finally tagged and caged. In reel life, filmmakers told the stories of folks who were increasingly being marginalized by an insidious rightwing agenda. The year’s best pictures often reflected the issues of the day: the persecution of minorities; rampant misogyny; honest journalists fighting back against alternate facts; the have-nots having even less. And let’s not forget the wonderful heroine — make that superheroine — who would have no qualms about breaking the arm of any short-fingered vulgarian who tried to grab her by the ... ahem. Of the 130 films I viewed over the past 12 months, here are my picks for the 10 best movies of 2017, followed by 10 worthy runner-ups, other assorted superla-
tives, and one final look at the worst of the worst.
THE 10 BEST 1. THE FLORIDA PROJECT (Sean Baker). The best film of 2017. The Florida Project was the name given to Disney World while it was still in development; now, it’s the title of a magnificent motion picture that’s set in the shadow of the iconic theme park. That would be the povertylevel Magic Kingdom motel, where single mom Halley (Bria Vinaite) lives with her mischievous 6-year-old daughter Moonee (Brooklynn Prince). Episodic in structure and damning in content, this masterful effort from writer-director Sean Baker offers a searing look at the America that’s all too often swept under the carpet and hidden from sight. Alternately humorous and heartbreaking, it finds Willem Dafoe delivering the performance of the year as Bobby, the stern but decent motel manager — and the closest thing to a Prince Charming that can be found in a setting tragically short on happily-ever-afters.
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Willem Dafoe and Brooklynn Prince in The Florida Project.
2. GET OUT (Jordan Peele). The best terror tale in at least a decade finds an African-American photographer (Daniel Kaluuya) remaining perpetually wary and on edge after he meets his white girlfriend’s odd family. As a thriller, Get Out is whip-smart and manages to avoid the types of myriad plotholes that tend to cripple pictures of this nature. It’s equally effective as social commentary, with writer-director Jordan Peele’s script examining such topical issues as miscegenation, cultural appropriation, police intimidation, racial profiling, and, of course, the notion that black lives matter. 3. THE POST (Steven Spielberg). These days, a timid and largely ineffectual media is par for the course — three cheers, then, for The Post, which may not match the brilliance of 1976’s All the President’s Men but nevertheless serves as a potent reminder of the potential power of the press. With Steven Spielberg at the helm and Tom Hanks and Meryl Streep heading the cast as Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee and publisher Kay Graham, this look at the furor surrounding the publishing of the Pentagon Papers represents old-school filmmaking at its most robust and rousing. 4. HAROLD AND LILLIAN: A HOLLYWOOD LOVE STORY (Daniel Raim).
As the Harvey Weinstein saga reminds us, Hollywood can be a cesspool of abhorrent and indecent behavior. But on the other side of the equation rests this enormously entertaining documentary about storyboard artist Harold Michelson and film researcher Lillian Michelson, beloved behind-the-scenes experts who were married for 60 years. The wealth
of film trivia is extraordinary, but it’s the romance between Harold and Lillian that truly propels this piece. 5. LADY BIRD (Greta Gerwig). Set in Sacramento in 2002, this lovely comingof-age piece orbits around Christine McPherson (Saoirse Ronan), a teenager who bickers with her mom (Laurie Metcalf), bonds with her dad (Tracy Letts), and tackles the usual Herculean high school challenges. There isn’t much in Lady Bird that doesn’t feel recognizable from past films of this nature, but it’s writer-director Greta Gerwig’s ability to make her protagonist’s struggles appear raw and real that allows this affecting film to soar. 6. THE DISASTER ARTIST (James Franco). The spiritual companion piece to Tim Burton’s Ed Wood, this raucous effort is another cheerful Hollywood-insider piece about a man whose ambitions far outweigh his expertise. In this case, it’s Tommy Wiseau (beautifully played by James Franco), the mysterious writerdirector-producer-star-financier of the atrocious 2003 cult sensation The Room. The Disaster Artist offers more laughs than any other 2017 release, but there’s an unexpected strain of poignancy also at work. 7. WONDER WOMAN (Patty Jenkins). In a year typically jam-packed with superhero sagas, this exciting and empowering movie easily emerged as the best of the bunch. Following a rash of genre flicks that mistook nihilism for gravitas, it’s one of the few to unequivocally maintain that there’s still a place for uncompromised champions in our world. As perfectly embodied by Gal Gadot, Princess Diana
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Daniel Kaluuya in Get Out. / Wonder Woman is compassionate and curious — and the progressive heroine we need in these troubled times. 8. CALL ME BY YOUR NAME (Luca Guadagnino). A teenage boy (Timothée Chalamet) living in Italy with his loving parents spends a lazy summer hanging out with his girlfriend (Esther Garrel) and falling for his dad’s new assistant (Armie Hammer), a handsome young man who reciprocates his feelings. Like Lady Bird, here’s another exemplary coming-of-age tale set in the not-toodistant past (1983), this one drawings much of its strength from its wonderfully orchestrated marriage of sight, sound, and sensation.
9. THREE BILLBOARDS OUTSIDE EBBING, MISSOURI (Martin McDonagh).
Frustrated that no arrests have been made in the rape and murder of her daughter, a headstrong woman (Frances McDormand) confronts the local police in an unusual manner. The final stretch relies on too many coincidences, and Sam Rockwell’s character (a racist deputy) remains problematic throughout — even so, the first two-thirds are pitch-perfect, and McDormand and Woody Harrelson (as the congenial sheriff) are phenomenal. 10. WIND RIVER (Taylor Sheridan). In snowstorm-battered Wyoming, a seasoned hunter (Jeremy Renner) and a greenhorn FBI agent (Elizabeth Olsen) investigate the death of a young Native American woman. What on the surface can pass as a standard murder-mystery instead becomes a remarkably complex exploration of various malaises, including the agony of familial loss, the systematic disenfranchisement of Native Americans, and the ever-present evil of toxic masculinity.
The Next 10 (Honorable Mentions, In Preferential Order): Mudbound; Land of Mine; T2 Trainspotting; Dunkirk; Quest; Beauty and the Beast; Blade Runner 2049; mother!; Coco; Your Name. WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
Best Actor: Gary Oldman, Darkest Hour; James Franco, The Disaster Artist; Richard Gere, Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer; Daniel Kaluuya, Get Out; Tom Hanks, The Post Best Actress: Saoirse Ronan, Lady Bird; Frances McDormand, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; Jessica Chastain, Molly’s Game and The Zookeeper’s Wife; Emma Stone, Battle of the Sexes; Sally Hawkins, The Shape of Water Best Supporting Actor: Willem Dafoe, The Florida Project; Woody Harrelson, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri and War for the Planet of the Apes; Tracy Letts, Lady Bird and The Post; Steve Carell, Battle of the Sexes; Barry Keoghan, The Killing of a Sacred Deer Best Supporting Actress: Hong Chau, Downsizing; Holly Hunter, The Big Sick; Tiffany Haddish, Girls Trip; Catherine Keener, Get Out; Laurie Metcalf, Lady Bird Sleepers: The Comedian; Good Time; The Killing of a Sacred Deer; Norman: The Moderate Rise and Tragic Fall of a New York Fixer; Their Finest; The Zookeeper’s Wife Disappointments: The Beguiled; The Greatest Showman; Logan; Murder on the Orient Express; The Snowman; Wonderstruck
THE 10 WORST 1. THE MUMMY A badly miscast Tom
Cruise headlines the first — and, given the desultory box office, perhaps last — movie in the so-called Dark Universe franchise. A plastic product made by mercenaries, pimps and profiteers rather than filmmakers who give a damn, this abomination is impersonal and ineffectual, providing nothing in the way of thrills or chills or even basic entertainment value. 2. SUBURBICON Writer-director George Clooney dusted off a 30-year-old Coen Brothers script and unleashed a topical yet tone-deaf atrocity in which a nice black family in 1959 gets harassed
by racist neighbors while the heinous white family next door literally gets away with murder. Obvious, overbearing and heavy-handed, it’s an embarrassment for everyone involved. 3. FIFTY SHADES DARKER There are at least 50 reasons why Fifty Shades Darker is almost every bit as awful as 2015’s Fifty Shades of Grey. The general prudishness necessary to snag an R rating and the lack of chemistry between Dakota Johnson and Jamie Dornan are but two. Ultimately, viewers will find more sexual currency in The LEGO Batman Movie than in this flaccid flick. 4. FREE FIRE A business transaction between various criminal lowlifes turns into a free-for-all gunfight, with characters shouting out feeble quips as they take potshots at each other. What was meant to be an exercise in style instead becomes an endurance test for audiences, as the film turns numbingly repetitive with its endless loop of uninteresting louts receiving their comeuppance. 5. FIST FIGHT The wimpiest teacher (Charlie Day) at a crummy high school is challenged to fisticuffs by the institution’s scariest instructor (Ice Cube). The appointment of the monstrous Betsy DeVos as Secretary of Education was the worst thing that happened to the U.S. school system in 2017, but arguably placing a distant second was the release of this flagrantly unfunny film. 6. THE HOUSE Needing emergency funds, three suburbanites turn an ordinary home into a Vegas-like casino. Even Requiem for a Dream offers more laughs than this smarmy dud in which all the performers basically play stand-up comics rather than actual people. It’s not unusual to see Will Ferrell in something this dreadful, but it’s disheartening to see Amy
Poehler chained to this disaster.
7. TRANSFORMERS: THE LAST KNIGHT The Transformers were respon-
sible for the Allies winning World War II; the only person who can save humanity is Mark Wahlberg; the Decepticon named Mohawk actually sports a metallic Mohawk; and John Turturro discusses a book made out of goat scrotum. In other words, it’s business as usual in Michael Bay’s latest bray. 8. UNFORGETTABLE Katherine Heigl (no stranger to 10 Worst lists) delivers a one-note performance as a tightly wound divorcee who turns psychotic once her exhusband (Geoff Stults) gives his heart to another woman (Rosario Dawson). Both daft and derivative, this is populated with characters so imbecilic, it’s amazing any of them can master a doorknob. 9. CHIPS The summer outing Baywatch got mercilessly trashed by most critics, but it looks as accomplished as The Fugitive when compared to this aggressively stupid adaptation of the vintage TV series about two motorcycle-riding California cops. Michael Peña is miscast as a stud; Dax Shepard (who also wrote and directed) is miscast as a funny individual.
10. KINGSMAN: THE GOLDEN CIRCLE Other titles might have conceivably deserved this slot more (e.g. Despicable Me 3, Pirates of the Caribbean 28), but
this lame spy game works since it also ranks as the biggest disappointment of 2017. A distasteful and mean-spirited follow-up to the excellent Kingsman: The Secret Service, it’s less double-o-seven and more double-oh-forget-it. ! (To check out more photos and yearend superlatives, head to www.clclt.com/ film.)
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leisure
[NEWS OF THE WEIRD] BUT HE STARTED IT!
Tennis instructor Osmailer Torres, 30, of Miami, was arrested in July 2016 after hitting a 5-year-old with the child’s pintsized tennis racket and causing a bruise Chuck Shepherd on the boy’s arm and a lump on his eyebrow, reports the Miami Herald. But now Torres believes he has a grand-slam defense: Florida’s Stand Your Ground self-defense law. Defense lawyer Eduardo Pereira told the Herald the child was the “initial aggressor” who had participated in “various violent altercations” against other children, and Torres had acted “reasonably in trying to prevent harm” to others. Miami-Dade Circuit Judge Oscar Rodriguez-Fonts will consider the claim in an upcoming hearing.
FAMILY VALUES
Mazen Dayem, 36, of Staten Island, New York, obtained a restraining order against his father-in-law, Yunes Doleh,
62, in September after Doleh repeatedly tormented him by waving his hairpiece at Dayem, provoking Dayem’s greatest phobia — the Tasmanian Devil of Looney Tunes fame. Not easily deterred, Doleh was arrested on Nov. 5 for violating the order after he “removed his wig (and) made hand gestures” at a funeral the two attended, Dayem explained to the New York Post. “It’s just a very large fear of mine, his damn wig. ... I have nightmares.” Court papers say Doleh “proceeded to grimace, snarl, gurn and gesticulate.” He was charged with criminal mischief in Staten Island County court, and then sued his son-in-law for defamation after photos from the arrest appeared on social media.
LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS
Teller County (Colorado) Sheriff Jason Mikesell listed his SUV for sale on Craigslist in November, and he was a little perplexed when he received a response from Shawn Langley, 39, of Vail, offering to trade the SUV for four pounds of marijuana. Langley even provided photos of his black market booty and boasted about its quality, reported The Colorado
Springs Gazette. “I saw that text, and I started giggling,” Mikesell said. Detectives set up a meeting and arrested both Langley and Jane Cravens, 41, after finding the promised four pounds of marijuana in their car. Sheriff Mikesell has removed his SUV from Craigslist.
HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT
On Nov. 27, 27-year-old Corey Hughes, who was due to be released from prison in February after serving most of a weapons charge, walked away from a San Joaquin County sheriff ’s work crew in Stockton, California, according to the Fresno Bee. It took police almost a month to track him to a home in Stockton, where they surrounded the dwelling and apprehended him without incident — which might not be so remarkable were it not for the distinctive, whole-face tattoo Hughes sports, which makes his face look like a human skull. He was booked into the San Joaquin County Jail.
GOOD DEED, PUNISHED
Malcolm Whitfield of Rochester, New York, was only trying to help when he ordered a Lyft car to deliver a drunk woman home from a bar in November. But when the woman vomited in the car, Whitfield was hit with a $150 fine to cover the damage. “For a second, I was like, ‘Never do anything nice again!’” Whitfield told 13WHAM. Lyft’s terms and conditions include damage fees, which most people don’t see in the fine print. Update: Lyft later refunded Whitfield’s fine and added $100 to his Lyft account for future rides. “Mr. Whitfield absolutely did the right thing by helping someone get home safely,” said Scott Coriell, a Lyft spokesperson.
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It was just another early December day at the Horsetooth Store, Gas and RV Park outside Fort Collins, Colorado, as employee Lori Jones conducted inventory and restocked shelves. Suddenly, she looked up to see “Mama,” a doe deer, inside the store, “looking at the sunglasses. Then she looked at the ice cream and over at the chips,” Jones told CBS Denver. “I kind of did a double take.” When shooing the deer away didn’t work, she broke out a peanut bar and lured the doe into a nearby field. Jones then returned to work, but soon looked up to find Mama was back, this time with her three fawns in tow. It took another peanut bar to draw the family away from the store, and Jones said she has learned her lesson. “You should never feed the deer because they’re going to keep coming back.”
SWEET REVENGE
A mom in Hillsboro, Oregon, came up with the perfect retaliation for a porch pirate who nabbed her baby son’s Christmas pajamas package off the front porch. Angie Boliek told KATU she wanted to get her own “passiveaggressive revenge,” so she taped up a box full of 10 to 15 dirty diapers with a note reading “Enjoy this you thief!” Boliek left the box on her porch on Dec. 3, and by the evening of Dec. 4 it was gone. Boliek alerted Hillsboro police, but they don’t have any leads in the investigation. “It was fun to come home and see that it was gone,” Boliek said.
NEW WORLD ORDER
Taisei Corp., a construction company based in Tokyo, announced in December that it will use autonomous drones, taking flight in April, to combat karoshi, or overwork death, reported The Independent. The drones will hover over desks of employees who have stayed at work too long and blast “Auld Lang Syne,” a tune commonly used in Japanese shops getting ready to close. A company statement said: “It will encourage employees who are present at the drone patrol time to leave, not only to promote employee health but also to conduct internal security management.” Experts are skeptical: Scott North, professor of sociology at Osaka University, told the BBC that “to cut overtime hours, it is necessary to reduce workloads.”
GREAT ART!
At the courthouse in the Belgian port city of Ostend, performance artist Mikes Poppe, 34, was hoping to make a statement on the weight of history when he chained his leg to a 3-ton block of Carrara marble on Nov. 10 and began slowly chipping himself free. The Straits Times reports that for 19 days, Poppe ate, slept and worked on the marble until curator Joanna De Vos ordered the chain cut “for practical reasons.” “I don’t see the fact that I was freed as a failure,” Poppe told the Flemish-language Het Laatste Nieuws. “The act of getting free in itself was not the main goal,” he added, although he admitted that doing so had been more difficult than he thought. “I really underestimated that block of marble.” !
© 2018 Chuck Shepherd. Universal Press Syndicate. Send your weird news items with subject line WEIRD NEWS to WeirdNewsTips@amuniversal.com.
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feature
Art by JoMo: Artist Jordan Morris tells all
J
ordan Morris, aka JoMo and Brrrains, is a 30-year-old weird hermit who draws and loves his dogs and mom. And those are his words. He is also an artist who uses pop Katie Murawski culture and cartoons as his inspiration, Editor Rick and Morty being probably one of his biggest influences. “Justin Roiland, the guy that created Rick and Morty, or co-created, has actually got one of the Tshirts,” Morris said. “I am super shameless; I go to a lot of conventions and meet-andgreet type stuff just to network.” Since Morris makes some money off Roiland’s creative property, he figures he should share his art with him. “He also has my Trump nuts and other stickers that I made.” Trump nuts? Yeah, it is exactly what it sounds like. “They are aggressive no matter if you say it or show it,” Morris said of his extremely explicit homage to President Donald Trump that we could not include a photo of in this article. “It is not really like a political type thing; it is just funny,” he said. Which is a good way to explain the premise of most of his art; most of it is pretty clever and funny. “I am like a giant child,” Morris said. “All cartoons are great. Obviously Rick and Morty is like really big right now...Literally, you can just be laughing your ass off about a stupid fart cloud that sings about your name and then the next thing you know, they are hitting you in the feels with the Unity episode, where it is just like Rick is literally worse than a hive mind because he is so fucking toxic.” Morris describes himself as being transparent, realistic and having no filter. “The world that I live in is nuts,” he said. “I am just having fun at this point, if it is going to burn, let it burn. Worry about number one...literally my mom and my dogs, that is it- other than that and myself, I do not care.” However, it’s apparent that he has soft side especially when it comes to talking about his sick mom (who he takes care of and lives with now) and his recently deceased best friend (and pitbull) Dakota. Dakota, Morris’s “baby boy” unfortunately, passed away this past weekend.
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Dakota Morris, JoMo’s “baby boy”
Jordan Morris aka JoMo
A commissioned piece by JoMo “I don’t know how people lose people,” Morris wrote in a Facebook message. “I’m completely broke and lost. He died in my arms, in our bed. I lifted him out and wrapped him in his blankets and the one I was brought home from the hospital as a baby.” But, Dakota lives on through Morris’s art. His one piece dedicated to Dakota is a drawing of his face and colored green
and pink. Morris posted this picture on Instagram a while back with the caption, “My heart and soul. No matter how hard I fall, how many times, he never gives up on me.” Morris said he likes to escape reality sometimes and that actually helps with his creative process. He likes to play video games, specifically virtual reality video games at Shift on Spring Garden. He said
it is a good way to get out of his head for a bit. “This is not a fun place always,” he said pointing at his noggin. “Everyone is just like ‘oh man, what inspires you?’ And I am just like ‘anxiety and depression,’ that will fucking do it.” Morris said he enjoys the subtle adult messages that are laced in some animated shows. For instance, there is an
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episode in Rocko’s Modern Life, where he said Rocko worked at a phone sex line. The same can be said about Morris’s artwork; there are messages catered to adult humor but it’s masked in bold colors and childlike images. Morris describes his art as stylistic, with bold lines and colors. “You know, like Lichtenstein stuff where it is all half-toned and super vibrant colors, you know just like that,” he said. “Or really obnoxious colors schemes. The more gross, the better.” Morris is a Greensboro/Summerfield native who attended school at Ragsdale, Weaver and Guilford Technical Community College-- none of which, he said, he recommends. “I could have utilized Weaver better, but like, everyone was just super bougie, and I am the one who is just obnoxious and came from not the best area,” he said. “And everyone was just like ‘oh it is that guy.’ I mean, it was alright I had a couple teachers I really liked, and I am sure it’s like an alright program now.” Morris said he now lives in Glenwood WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
and likes to spend his time there and downtown. “I just like city life better.” Morris said he likes to travel as much as he can. Back in December, he went to see Lady Gaga (who he is a big fan of) and made sure she got one of his shirts and some business cards as well. The shirt he threw on stage for her is actually a newer design of his and one of his favorites. It is a black T-shirt with two white hands clasped together, and it was inspired by Patton Oswalt. “That actually came from a Patton Oswalt special on Netflix,” he said. “He says some part about life and is basically like, ‘it’s chaos so be kind that is all you can do.’” Morris said he now has some enamel pins with that design available as well. For the past two or three-ish years, he said he has been able to make some money off of his art. Morris said he now creates his art digitally on his Windows Surface Pro and sells merchandise such as stickers, prints, pins, and T-shirts on his Redbubble account. However, he said this venture might look profitable, but in reality, it is not as profitable as people think.
“That is what sucks about a lot of this shit,” he said. “It is pretty costly upfront, but everyone is like, ‘oh you sold 100 of these Rick and Morty T-shirts, you must be like really loaded at this point’ and I am just like ‘no, my bank account probably has under a grand in it right now, yeah it is not good.’ I mean, it is fun. I have a good amount of product still.” Morris said he is only successful if he has support from the community. He stresses the importance of local support from the community through social media, sharing his art via stickers (i.e., his Trump nuts made an appearance on Trump’s Hollywood Walk of Fame star because one of his friends stuck it on there while visiting) and through commissions. Morris said he has a sliding scale when it comes to commissions and that he does commissions for many people in the community young and old. One of his favorite commission pieces he did was for a friend who has a police officer in their friend group. The piece is a hand and two fingers in the shape of a circle covered in pink frosting and sprinkles, which makes it look like
a doughnut. “Just knowing it is for a cop makes it that much funnier,” he said. “I am sure there will be about half of the police that appreciates that and I know that half will be bitter, but it is fine.” As far as social media goes, Morris said he hates it, but it’s necessary. He asks people who “like” his art on social media to share it to their page and tag him, so he gets credit. Morris’s art can be seen on his Facebook (@ArtbyJoMo) and Instagram page (@ brrrains) as well as on his Redbubble site at www.redbubble.com/people/brrrains. Those looking for commissions can email him at thisartistisahack@gmail.com. Want to meet JoMo and see some of his art in-person? Morris will be at Westerwood Tavern this Sunday starting at 6 p.m. with some of his merchandise. ! KATIE MURAWSKI is the editor of YES! Weekly. She is from Mooresville, North Carolina and graduated with a bachelor’s degree in journalism with a minor in film studies from Appalachian State University in 2017.
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J. Timber talks music, influence and his roots Jonathan “J. Timber” Timber, is what some might consider to be a Greensboro legend. The first time I heard him play was on a balmy evening last summer, and the conditions Lauren Davidson couldn’t have been more ideal. I was at a crowded JoymonContributor gers, and above the happy chatter and clinking glasses came a soulful sound. Timber’s voice is as deep as a river, and a primal yearning personifies itself within the rasp of his viva voce. This person, quite plainly, has the music in his soul. It would take an extreme amount of certainty in one’s self to embark on the adventure that has lead Timber to his successes. He dropped out of high school to play music full time and competed in Triad Idol, and has since gone on to open for Boys II Men and Coolio, and has gone on tour with some of the biggest names in the music industry. For Greensboroians, he has become a household name through his near-residency at Joymongers, and his frequent gigs all over town. Like many “rock star” personalities, Timber presents an interesting mix of showmanship and introspectiveness. “I’ve always been a ham,” Timber said about himself. “In the last year, I’ve accepted that. It’s a thing. I’ve been very confident most of my career. I know how hard I work. I know I should work harder, but I know how hard I do work to have what I do have, vocally and as far as what I’m able to do.” Although it may seem like a huge leap to focus solely on pursuing a passion such as music, it wasn’t an entirely alien concept to Timber, who comes from a long line of musicians. “Ever since I was little, I wanted to be a musician. I don’t remember anything else. My family’s musical, but it skipped a generation,” Timber said. “My grandfather, George Timber, was on what would be the Billboard Top 100 in the 1940s and Little Four was the name of the band. He was a singer in this quartet, and they traveled. He was a phenomenal singer and acclaimed for it. My grandmother, his wife, played piano and organ at church, Lois Timber.” Timber said he was half Colombian on his mom’s side, and his grandfather sang in traditional Vallenato bands and also sang in church. His grandmother played piano, and his mom can dance. “But I think that’s just a little Spanish lady,” he
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Jonathan Timber “J. Timber” posing outside as a train passes. Photo by Lauren Davidson said. “It’s a huge part of the culture. My father loved music. It was all day every day. It was something him, and I would talk about, but he also played percussion. He would play conga and all those Afro-Cuban instruments. I guess that fits in with drumming since the conga is another thing that I do. I haven’t known anything else. I just want to play music all the time.” Timber’s music choice depended on what his dad listened to. He said he grew up listening to Motown Jazz and Doo Wop icons such as The Orioles, Marvin Gaye, Stevie Wonder, Teddy Pendergrass and Etta James. But, “the thing that kickstarted everything for me was a band in town. They’re called House of Fools and,” he paused dramatically, “they are amazing.” Timber’s introduction to House of Fools would mark a cataclysmic change in his career. “It was Aug. 26, 2007. It changed my life,” he said. “Prior to that, I was all about hip-hop and R&B. I thought I was going to be the next Usher, Pharrell. I wanted to do that and then,” he said and paused dramatically again, “it was the last week of August.” Timber had gone to Greene Street Nightclub, and the air had gone out in the club. He wasn’t inter-
ested in seeing a “rock ‘n’ roll band,” but quickly changed his mind when he heard the first chords strike up. “I’d never seen anyone in person play guitar the way my friend[Joel Henry did],” he said. “Now he’s my friend, which is really crazy. He performs with me; he is my right hand. I don’t like playing without him; we’re just so comfortable. It’s 10 years of feeling each other out vocally, guitar-wise.” That fateful night represented the beginning of this partnership: “The first time I saw him, I was like, ‘holy shit, I want to play guitar like that.’ I’d never seen anybody rock out. You go to an Usher show, and there’s a band behind the curtain and all that stuff, but with a rock ‘n’ roll band, you see it, you feel the elements, you hear it, and he had so much emotion.” After getting the band’s poster autographed, Timber went to every show they had in town, and eventually, Henry’s wife made an introduction. “I kept going to their shows, finally met up with them afterward, and then we hit it off, and now Joel and I play music together every day,”
Timber said. “I’ll have a moment where I’m sitting there, and I’m like, what? These are my heroes. I call it little brother syndrome, I guess. We’re all family now. We’ve been through so much together, highs and lows, they helped me produce my first album, they did some songs on it. Now Joel and I are doing an album.” Timber even has a tattoo of Henry. “His loyalty has been inspiring,” he said. “It makes me want to be like that for anyone.” Now, Timber’s band has become a local institution. With a grin, he said to me at one point, “I get to play music every day. What’s better than that?” ! LAUREN DAVIDSON is the editor-in-chief of Woven Greensboro, a weekly e-love letter to the Gate City. You can find more of her stories about the people and places that make up our town on wovengreensboro.com.
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Longworth at Large: The Amazon dilemma Late last year Seattle-based Amazon.com announced plans to build a second headquarters to better serve its growing customer base in North America. Amazon Jim Longworth says the new plant will cost $5 billion to construct, and will Contributor eventually bring 50,000 jobs to the community that lands it. But not every community is in the running. For one thing, Amazon said it would only locate the so-named HQ2 in a metropolitan area with a population of at least one million people. Moreover, the new facility will require 750,000 square feet of space from the get-go, and up to 8 million square feet by 2027. Immediately following the big announcement, a number of big cities began wooing the e-commerce giant, while some smaller localities let it be known that they hoped to team up with adjacent cities and counties to meet Amazon’s population criteria. Nevertheless, Atlanta is now rumored to be the front-runner. In fact, according to Business Insider’s Haley Peterson, Amazon is sending a lobbyist to meet with Georgia lawmakers sometime this month, presumably to negotiate potential perks, such as tax breaks and cash incentives. Even so, Amazon could do a lot worse than the Piedmont Triad. After all, we have the space. We have a slew of community colleges to help train or re-train prospective employees, and we have the infrastructure to accommodate Amazon’s logistical requirements. But there are some ethical flies in the ointment for Triad area officials. Over the past few years, a number of local governing bodies and business organizations have urged all of us to “Buy Local,” rather than do our shopping online. They point out that local businesses pay local taxes, hire local employees, bank locally, and contribute to local charities. The message from local leaders has been clear: “Local is good, Amazon is bad.” Now, these same local officials are all giddy over the possibility of luring “bad” Amazon to our area. Suddenly their “Buy Local” message has become convoluted. So which message are we to believe? How can we support local businesses if we recruit their nemesis to locate here? It’s a dilemma for sure, but WWW.YESWEEKLY.COM
one which might easily be resolved by examining a few facts. First of all, to land Amazon’s new HQ2, we would have to pony up massive incentives. True, most economic development perks are tied to specific conditions of performance and employment. But we’ve been burned before by playing that game. Remember when Dell made our Commerce Secretary believe that we’d need to come up with over $300 million in incentives to beat Virginia’s bid, which turned out to be only $30 million? Then Dell promised to hire hundreds of people, only to turn around a year later and announce that the desktop computer market had dropped off, so they were closing the new plant in Forsyth County. Amazon says its new facility will eventually employ 50,000 people, but some market experts are already predicting a stock drop for Amazon, so there’s no guarantee that those jobs will ever materialize. Second, let’s get back to the harm Amazon does to local businesses. One reason Amazon is able to undercut local stores is because of the tax breaks and other incentives it receives, which are not available to those local stores, and which helps to lower Amazon’s overhead. In a 2014 article for Alternet, Jim Hightower reported that, in Texas, Amazon enjoys a “price subsidy of more than eight cents on every dollar of its sales”. Those kinds of subsidies net Amazon an additional several billion dollars in profit each year. Hard for a local shoe store to beat those odds. Then there is the matter of pay. According to a 2013 report by Glassdoor.com, Amazon pays its warehouse workers about 17 percent less than the average American warehouse worker. That also translates to lower overhead for Amazon. And speaking of warehouse workers, that brings us to another ethical dilemma when recruiting Amazon to our area. According to the Institute for Local Self Reliance and other sources, Amazon works its employees long hours under
sometimes unhealthy conditions. For example, ILSR noted “life-threatening” temperatures inside some of Amazon’s warehouses during summer months. And just last week, Tribune newspapers reported that an Amazon fulfillment center in Plainfield, Indiana had been without heat for at least three weeks. Facility employees feared losing their jobs if they complained of the frigid working conditions, and Amazon only attended to the problem after word leaked out to the news media. So let’s review. If the Piedmont Triad were to land Amazon’s new plant, there would be no guarantee of 50,000 jobs,
nor of how those employees would be treated. Local businesses would continue to suffer because they can’t compete with Amazon, who we’ve agreed to help subsidize. And, our local leaders would have to change their slogan to, “Buy Local, Except for Here.” Truth is, Amazon probably won’t locate HQ2 in the Triad, but that might not be such a bad thing. Newly fashioned jobs are important, but so are old-fashioned ethics. ! JIM LONGWORTH is the host of “Triad Today,” airing on Saturdays at 7:30 a.m. on ABC45 (cable channel 7) and Sundays at 11 a.m. on WMYV (cable channel 15).
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last call
[HOROSCOPES]
[LEO (July 23 to August 22) What goes around comes around for those lucky Leos and Leonas whose acts of generosity could be repaid with opportunities to expand into new and exciting areas of interest. [VIRGO (August 23 to September 22)
Your concern about your job responsibilities is commendable. But you need to take some quiet time to share with someone who has really missed being with you.
[LIBRA (September 23 to October 22)
Aspects favor getting out and meeting new people. And as a bonus, you might find that some of your newly made friends could offer important business contacts.
[SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) You might take pride in wanting to do everything yourself. But now’s a good time to ask family members to help with a demanding personal situation. [SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to
December 21) Pay more attention to the possibilities in that workplace change. It could show the way to make that longsought turn on your career path.
REAL PEOPLE REAL DESIRE REAL FUN.
[CAPRICORN (December 22 to
January 19) Your need to succeed might overwhelm obligations to your loved ones. Ease up on that workload and into some well-deserved time with family and friends.
[AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) Love rules for amorous Aquarians who can make good use of their ability to communicate feelings. Don’t be surprised if they’re reciprocated in kind. [PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Fishing for compliments? No doubt, you probably earned them. But it’s best to let others believe they were the ones who uncovered the treasure you really are. [ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Guess what, Lamb? You’re about to experience a new perspective on a situation you long regarded quite differently. What you learn could open more opportunities later. [TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) The Bold Bovine is tempted to charge into a new venture. But it might be best to take things one step at a time, so that you know just where you are at any given point. [GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) It’s a good time to go on that fun getaway you’ve been planning. You’ll return refreshed, ready and, yes, even eager to tackle the new challenge that awaits you. [CANCER (June 21 to July 22) The Moon Child loves to fantasize about magical happenings in the early part of the week. But the sensible Crab gets down to serious business by week’s end. © 2018 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.
[STRANGE BUT TRUE] by Samantha Weaver
* It was Margaret Chase Smith, the first woman to serve in both houses of the U.S. Congress, who made the following sage observation: “Those of us who shout the loudest about Americanism in making character assassinations are all too frequently those who, by our own words and acts, ignore some of the basic principles of Americanism: The right to criticize; The right to hold unpopular beliefs; The right to protest; The right of independent thought.”
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* According to historians, British Prime Minister Sir Winston Churchill slept on silk sheets and wore silk underwear. It seems he had very sensitive skin, and rough fabric made him break out in a rash. * It probably won’t surprise you to learn that members of the Sampit tribe in Borneo eat bananas. What is surprising, though, is that they don’t remove the peels first.
* In the 1979 gubernatorial election in Louisiana, a man named Luther Knox was fed up with the candidates on the ballot. In order to give like-minded Louisianans an option, he ran for the office himself — after legally changing his name to “None of the Above.” * Resources are very scarce in space, so it’s important to conserve wherever possible. The astronauts on the International Space Station might be going a bit far, however; it’s been reported that they change their underwear only every three or four days in order to cut down on laundry. Thought for the Day: ”All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.” — James Thurber © 2018 by King Features Syndicate, Inc.
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[THE ADVICE GODDESS] love • sex • dating • marriage • questions
ALICE IN WANDERLAND
I follow you on Twitter, and I was disgusted to see your tweet about marriage, “No, humans aren’t naturally monogamous — which is why people say Amy Alkon relationships ‘take work,’ while you Advice never hear anybody Goddess talking about what a coal mine an affair can be.” If a person finds fidelity so challenging, they should stay single. — Ethical Married Person Reality has this bad habit of being kind of a bummer. So, sure, that person you married all those years ago still has the capacity to surprise you with crazy new positions in bed — but typically they’re yogi-like contortions they use to pick dead skin off the bottoms of their feet. That line you quote, “relationships ‘take work,’ while you never hear ... what a coal mine an affair can be,” is actually from one of my old columns. I tweeted it along with this advice: “Don’t just assume you & romantic partner (will) stay monogamous. Maybe discuss how, exactly, you’ll go about that.” From where I sit — opening lots of letters and email from cheaters and the cheated upon — this is simply good, practical marriage- (and relationship-) preserving advice. But from some of the responses on Twitter, you’d think I’d suggested braising the family dog and serving him on a bed
of greens with a “tennis ball” of candied yams. Though some men and women on Twitter merely questioned my take, interestingly, the enraged responses (ranging from impersonally rabid to denigratingly hateful) came entirely from men. Granted, this may just have been due to chance (who was shirking work on Twitter just then), or it may reflect research on sex differences that suggests men tend to be more comfortable engaging in direct conflict. However, though evolutionary psychologist David Buss, among others, finds that both men and women are deeply upset by infidelity — or the mere prospect of it — there seems to be a sex difference in who is more likely to go absolutely berserko over it. Buss, looking out over the anthropological literature, observes: “In cultures the world over, men find the thought of their partner having sexual intercourse with other men intolerable. Suspicion or detection of infidelity causes many men to lash out in furious anger rarely seen in other contexts.” Evolutionary psychologists have speculated that the fierceness of male sexual jealousy may be an evolved adaptation to combat the uniquely male problem of “paternity uncertainty” — basically the “who actually is your daddy?” question. A woman, of course, knows that the tiny human who’s spent a good part of nine months sucker-punching her in the gut is hers. However, our male ancestors lacked access to 23andMe mail-in DNA tests. So male emotions seem to have evolved to act as an alarm system, goading men to protect themselves (like with a scary expression of anger to forewarn their part-
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that they can assume monogamy without discussing the issue.” They should instead admit that “attractions to others are likely ... no matter how much they love each other” and “engage in ongoing honest communication about the reality of the temptations and how to avoid the consequences of acting on those temptations.” For example: What’s the plan if, say, marital sex gets a little sparse? If the marriage hits a rough patch? If that hot co-worker starts hitting on you when you’re drunk and a little unhappy while on a business trip? Maybe it seems depressing to discuss this stuff. However, a wedding ring is not an electrified fence. Accepting that is probably your best bet for avoiding emotional devastation and divorce when, 25 years in, a “jug of wine, a loaf of bread, and thou” still keeps the old spark alive in bed — but only when supplemented with a wellcharged cordless cattle prod. ! GOT A problem? Write Amy Alkon, 171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405, or e-mail AdviceAmy@aol.com (www.advicegoddess.com) © 2018 Amy Alkon Distributed by Creators.Com.
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ner), lest they be snookered into raising another man’s child. The problem with the enraged response is that it kicks our brain into energy conservation mode — shunting blood flow away from our higher-reasoning department and toward our arms and legs and organs needed for “fight or flight.” So the mere mention of cheating — even coupled with suggestions for how to prevent it — kills any possibility of reasoned thinking. In our dumbed-down enraged state, all we’ve got is the knee-jerk response: “I am so totally moral, and so is my wife, and anyone who needs to discuss how they’ll stay monogamous is the Whore of Babylon!” Unfortunately, aggressive denial of reality is particularly unhelpful for infidelity prevention. It’s especially unhelpful when it’s coupled with feelings of moral superiority. Organizational behaviorist Dolly Chugh and her colleagues find that people’s view of themselves as “moral, competent, and deserving ... obstructs their ability” to make ethical decisions under pressure. So, as the late infidelity researcher Peggy Vaughan advised, “a couple’s best hope for monogamy lies in rejecting the idea
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