Bathhouses 101

Bathhouses 101 Ever wondered what lies beyond the steamy doors of a sauna? Our Editor-in-Chief breaks down how to have safe and sexy fun in a historically queer institution. BY GIL SEGEV

team rooms. Saunas. Tubs. Call them what you want, but let’s not ignore them. For many they represent a fantasy of anonymous sex, a fleeting connection with a stranger or even a chance to find love. For others, however, they’re a mysterious cloud that hangs over the queer community, filled with images of ambiguous consent and weird stuff floating in the hot tub.

As your resident editor of an unapologetic magazine, I’m here to break it down for you. Whether you had never heard of bathhouses before today or have been too shy to visit one, this will be your crash course in what to expect, what to do and what to bring to your next bathhouse adventure. What is a bathhouse?

A bathhouse is, in short, a commercial establishment that legally acts as a club. Once you obtain a (often paid) membership, you can use the facilities, which frequently include a functional gym, bar, common areas, wet and dry saunas, and lots of private rooms. What’s different in a bathhouse from a standard club is what happens inside and the people that frequent them. Bathhouse attendees are most often gay, bisexual or otherwise curious men looking for casual sex with other men. Female and bisexual clubs exist, but they’re rarer. Bathhouses are not brothels, beS

cause the purchase of a membership doesn’t buy members sex with anyone so much as the right to use the facilities. Any sex that happens within is with other members only, not staff.

Bathhouses have a long history in Toronto and beyond. I’d recommend reading up on the bathhouse raids of 1981, which are beyond the scope of this piece. They might seem like a relic of the past in the age of apps like Grindr, but you might be surprised at how varied the crowd is. For instance, at the popular “Steamworks” club in Toronto men under 25 years old get in free on Tuesdays… What to expect in a bathhouse? People come in a lot of shapes and sizes, so it’s hard to predict who exactly you’ll find in a given bathhouse. The demographic will also depend on the time of day, location and whether there’s a special event (“bears night,” for instance). You should expect to see people of all walks of life, and you never know what or who will spark your fancy. Don’t be surprised if you see a wedding band or two, either. What happens in the bathhouse, stays in the bathhouse. Expect to get undressed when you arrive. You’ll be given a towel to wear around your waist, but let’s not forget that the purpose is to get named. The bathhouse is decisively not the place for long talks –it’s all about eye contact and body language. Slowly trail someone you fancy or slide close to them in the hot tub. If they’re interested, they’ll reciprocate. If not, don’t take it to heart –there’s plenty of fish in the, er, sauna.

You may inadvertently walk into some sticky situations over the course of your stay. This is one of those rare places where joining an impromptu orgy in the locker room is considered polite… What to do in the bathhouse? If the above wasn’t explicit enough, here’s the deal: you’re there for a reason, so let your inhibitions go. It’s unlikely you’ll see the people inside again (or recognize them in the light), which makes this the perfect place to try new things. Many bathhouses have so-called “glory holes,” harnesses and porn playing on large screens. Try a bit of everything until you find what floats your boat.

Be aware that in the dark, steamy atmosphere consent be

comes a slippery slope. If someone gropes you out of turn, it is acceptable to move away or move their hand off –they’ll get the hint and move on. If you feel harassed or threatened, the staff are trained to handle such situations. You’ll also want to act with some common sense –if you’re strapped into a harness and blindfolded in the common area, you don’t exactly get to be choosy about who approaches. What to bring to the bathhouse? If you fail to plan, you plan to fail. It’s generally a good idea to bring condoms and lube if you plan to get frisky. A douche doesn’t hurt, either (hypothetically). Wet wipes are a good idea, as is a bottle of water if you plan to be in there for a while. Essentially, bring anything you need to have a sexy and safe experience. At least you know you don’t have to worry over what to wear! You might also consider bringing a friend. I know –to a bathhouse?! Seriously, if it’s your first time especially you’ll want to have someone watching out for you. Don’t worry, in the semidark you shouldn’t be staring at each other –much. Setting hourly check-ins is great if you plan to spend the night jumping from room to room. In conclusion, bathhouses are not only relevant in 2020, they’re an exciting opportunity to explore queer culture and your own sexuality. While problematic in many ways (most don’t allow women or trans men to use the facilities), they can be fun and sexy. Maybe I’ll see you there. MM

GIL SEGEV is a fourth-year criminology and professional writing major and an executive member of MacMedia Magazine. Find him on Instagram at @gsiproductions

BY NOAH MYLES GRAYSON

The Persian rug that patterns my glassy retinas every time we meet gains my recognition over any proficiencies shown off on the wall —they whittle away after a while.

Seduced into a retrogressed state with his gossamer words ossifying even self-denying thoughts, his head eventually dips below my natural field of view to wield himself as liberator of my plan to give up our ghost. Surrounding me in this condensed place are impulses, Their seams holding me here, so empty yet so fulfilling as they orient me. They do not do justice for him, with the fabrication they provide.

But with the opening of his door into a life not entire this but not entirely undue of death, I retire back into a mind less prone to scrutiny. MM