The Hidden Truth About Virginity By Ann Holland My mother had this book titled The Hidden Truth about Virginity. She bought it when I was 13, and there was this unspoken rule about how I was not allowed to read it, but I read it anyway. I was a very late bloomer; sexually that is. I wasn’t interested in having sex and there was nothing about it I found appealing. But I was very curious, and which is why my mother’s purchase really excited me. I would sneak into her room on Friday afternoons after school and read that book religiously. It includes a story about a mother who hires a woman to teach her daughter about the benefits of keeping her virginity until marriage. This book was the first official sex talk I had ever received. Growing up, my home wasn’t one of those progressive families where we openly talked about sex or recieved proper sex education. No – it was one of those homes where you got an African version of sex talk which included three things: • Don’t ever get pregnant otherwise you will be homeless. • Dress well, avoid men and try not to get raped. • Be a virgin until you are married. That means no boyfriends until you are done with university. This version of “The Sex Talk” didn’t happen once. I heard it every time someone got pregnant, if a boy spoke to me or when someone got raped. They were very uncomfortable conversations that I hated having, especially because I had no intentions of having sex. I never got to finish the book but what I read sold me; the writer chatted about how keeping your virginity till marriage made you enjoy 90% of marriage and you only experienced 10% problems. This was the opposite of girls who had not kept their virginity. I might not have cared for sex at thirteen but I cared about being the perfect wife and having the perfect marriage. So I was going to wait for marriage.
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