elegy for self
by Makgosi Letimile Being alone for years taught me to neglect myself emotionally because I had no place to go the last time my grief lost a home. Somebody once said grief is Love that has no place to go. And I understood immediately because there was love once in my life, and when it left, I grieved for myself and my homeless love. I loved and lost. And I feared loss, because the road to recovery was so lonely I didn’t know if I could risk it again. I’ve lived to regret it several times over. And now I’m back, asking love to make me its fool once again. This new-old journey hasn’t been without its challenges. Every once in a while I wake up in a panic, fearing that maybe if I showed too much need, I might not see my Lover again. And everyday they have taken the time to show in actions and words that they want to be here. So I’m going to throw caution to the wind and tell love to take me for a fool one more time. If I meet with grief on the way, it will be okay; because when the love was here, it really showed up this time.
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