Coaching vs. mentoring

Managing your expectations for a mutually beneficial relationship

The words “coach” and “mentor” are often used as synonyms to describe a person who has an influential relationship with someone who has less experience. Previously, I used the two words interchangeably and had the same expectations for anyone who was my coach or mentor. After researching the two terms more specifically, I discovered that a mentor may be your coach, but a coach will likely not be your mentor. As a young architect, if you are not receiving the feedback and guidance you desire through a coaching or mentoring relationship, step back and ask yourself, “Are my expectations in alignment with those of my mentor or coach?” This article will elaborate on the differences between a mentor and a coach so that you can enter the relationship with clear, communicable expectations that will contribute to a positive and successful experience.

Short-term vs. long-term One of the first differences between a coaching relationship and a mentoring relationship is the anticipated time in which each should last. To illustrate this, think about the role a coach serves for his or her athletic team. If you grew up playing sports like myself, you will recall that your coaches changed seasonally or as you progressed to the next level. That is because the responsibility of a coach is typically a short-term engagement with near-term goals, e.g. winning the spring tournament. In comparison, a mentoring relationship should last around six to twelve months. In fact, a relationship you build with your mentor should be progressive and continue to flourish through all stages of your career. Mentors will not exit the scene once the plot is resolved; instead, they will continue to support you again and again without retreat.

Direction vs. guidance This difference between what a coach or mentor can provide is often blurry. In the simplest demarcation, you should expect a coach to help you create a path toward a defined goal, including measurable steps to reach the goal. Coaches should communicate a clear direction, and they will hold you accountable when you are not reaching your goals. If the coach is assigned to you by your employer, you can expect that the goals they craft in collaboration with you will align with the strategic vision for the company and its business goals. In contrast, a mentor will act in an advisory role. They will provide guidance as you request it, but they will not lead the way. Mentors should have your best interest in mind, and they can offer their perspective based on their personal experiences. A mentor will not tell you what to do. Thus, if you are seeking a relationship that provides rigid direction, a coach is what you need. A one-way street vs. mutual benefits Finally, a coach and a mentor will perceive what you provide to them in the relationship differently. A coach will not expect you to teach them anything; their responsibility is to help you reach your goals without expecting anything in return. The measurable success of the relationship with a coach is the timeliness in which you reach your goal(s). Mentors should enter the relationship with the mindset that they may (and should want to) learn from you as the relationship develops. Conversations with a mentor should be fluid and inspiring for both participants, ultimately growing into a mutually beneficial partnership.

Final piece of advice Now that you have a better understanding of what to expect in a coaching relationship versus a mentoring relationship, I will leave you with the most essential mindset to embody as you navigate your current or future relationships with a coach or mentor.

A seed will not sprout unless you plant it; a flower will not flourish unless you water it.

Emerging professionals may expect a senior leader to contact them to establish a coaching or mentoring relationship personally, or they will accept the coach who has been assigned to them through the human resources department without hesitation. I have learned that the most fruitful relationships are those that you choose to initiate.

Consider acting as a mentor to professionals who are at your same experience level. We all can learn from each other and be a supportive voice as we navigate personal and professional milestones.

Holly Harris, AIA, NCARB, LEED AP BD+C

Harris is a healthcare architect at SmithGroup and co-leads the AIA Chicago Healthcare Knowledge Community. She is the Young Architects Regional Director for Illinois and vice chair of the AIA Illinois EP Network.