Alone Time

WRITTEN BY RACHEL TARBY

PHOTOGRAPHED BY CHLOE MAHAN

I grew up in a very busy household. My brothers and I had sports year-round, and when I did have free time, it was reserved for schoolwork, ensuring that I used my time to remain occupied. When I was not using my time productively, I would spend it with friends or family—and although that is gratifying and time well spent, I always felt drained afterward.

Back then I wasn’t aware of the idea of a “social battery,” which is the amount of energy a person has for socializing, and it varies from person to person. I would often feel guilty for desiring alone time and not wanting to spend all my time with friends or family; however, I was really unaware that my social battery was worn out. I had no idea that I needed to recharge, or even how to do so.

I was excited to go to college and have my own space to work, socialize, and, most of all: relax. However, I became disappointed in myself when I wasn’t satisfied with having a roommate. Sharing a room with someone was a lot harder for me than I imagined it would be. It made me feel like I always had to be productive. Whenever they were doing work and I was watching Netflix, I felt pressured to pause my show and start working on something. I would wake up in a room with another person, go to school, work, and come back to people—never having a break from socializing.

Once I did have time when I was truly alone, I would do whatever I felt like, not what I felt pressured to do. I would read for fun, work on some schoolwork, exercise, put on a face mask, play a record, anything that brought me a sense of joy. It mattered that I was using my time to do something I wanted to do, and that is when I realized I needed alone time.

Now, I am a third year student and live alone. At first this thought scared me. What would it be like to have all this alone time? Would I get bored very easily? Would I be unproductive?

So far, my endless amount of alone time has been extremely beneficial. It’s a privilege that I am very thankful for. Alone time has taught me how to set boundaries with myself and others. I schedule time to be productive in my room and also block out time to do things that bring me peace.

Having alone time has given me a space to create a routine for myself. I try to prioritize a good night’s sleep over staying up and cramming work every week night, or going out every weekend to party. I also try to balance relaxation time with work time, letting myself recharge and focus for my next task. There is so much pressure to use time wisely and constantly be creating or producing. But alone time should be about you.

Alone time should be spent doing what you desire, not what you feel pressured to do. As there is much emphasis on being productive during any free time one has, that almost always leads to burn out. Use your alone time to recharge your social battery and do things that bring you peace.