Your Magazine Volume 18 Issue 2: November 2022

Recognized in Spring 2012, YOUR

MAG

's goal is to promote knowledge of the magazine and media industry by giving students the opportunity to be responsible for all aspects of a monthly lifestyle publication. With an audience of urban college students in mind, members create content across a broad range of topics and mediums, including style, romance, music, pop culture, personal identity and experiences. Your Mag's overarching aim is to foster positive, inclusive community of writers, editors, and artists.

YOUR MAG

ISA LUZARRAGA Managing Editor

LILY BROWN Creative Director

AMYA DIGGS Head Stylist

ELIE LARGURA Director of Photography

REBECCA CALVAR Art Director

EYIWUNMI AJAO Asst. Art Director

LAUREN SURBEY Web Director

FIONA MCMAHON Co-YMTV Director

SOFIA VERANI Co-YMTV Director

ASHLEY FERRER Editor-in-Chief

HAILEY KROLL Co-Head Designer

WILLOW TORRES Co-Head Designer

KATHERINE ASSELIN Co-Asst. Head Designer

T É A PEREZ Co-Asst. Head Designer

RACHEL TARBY Copy Chief

SOPHIE BOYCE Asst. Copy Chief

GRIFFIN WILLNER Head Proofreader

SARA FERGANG Asst. Head Proofreader

NIRVANA RAGLAND Diversity Chair

ABIGAIL ROSS Romance Editor

CAMRYN CIANCIA Style Editor

GIGI SIPIORA Asst. Style Editor

LAUREN SMITH Living Editor

KATHLEEN NOLAN A&E Editor

DHARVI GOPAL Marketing Director

GABBY GOODE Social Media Coordinator

ELLIE BELCASTRO Asst. Social Media Coordinator

COPY EDITORS: KATHERINE HEALY, FIONA MURPHY, SOPHIE HARTSTEIN, SOFIA MENDES, KATE RISPOLI

DESIGN: MINA ROSE MAURNAIS, CHERIE LAROCHE, MOE WANG, VIVIENNE LAM, NATALIA DE ZUBIAURRE, REBECCA CALVAR, CHIARA MARINI, CALLIE KROSIN

PROOFREADERS: HAILEY AKAU, CATHERINE KUBICK

6 8 10 LIVING

ROMANCE Let’s talk about gay sex!

A ‘SITUATIONSHIP’ WITH A FILM BRO: AN ART SCHOOL ROMANCE ick!

12 14 20 22 EDITORIAL STYLE ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Y.MP3

26 EDITORIAL

EDITORIAL YM ADVISES 4 | YOURMAG

A SUGAR BABY’S FUTURE DOLL PARTS MADE WITH LOVE WEARING THIS 2014 CHOKER HEALS MY INNER CHILD a rHapsody for bohemian fashion “THERES A PIECE OF YOU IN HOW I DRESS” street style somewhere in soul city ADHD & ME

YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF PARTY OR PERFORMANCE dry cry

ARTIST STATEMENT

“This Scorpio season — and eclipse season — marks the halfway point of a story we’ve been living for nearly a year. Whatever you have learned so far, this wisdom will serve the next chapter of your journey. There’s nothing you have to do to enact this transformation. It’s already on its way.” This was the horoscope the masters of the universe cultivated for my birth month of November. Usually, I internalize my horoscopes in astonishment over how they pertain so perfectly to whatever I’m currently going through. However, I think this particular message has a larger audience, beyond just Scorpios. We are constantly evolving and learning from our prior experiences, especially in times when things don’t work out the way we expect them to. You weren’t a good fit for a job you applied for, an event wasn’t nearly as fun as you thought it would be, or the most promising guy you’ve found on Tinder just tripped during an otherwise gratifying dinner date and you suddenly find him repulsive. In Ick!, Nirvana explores this phenomenon and realizes all the reasons she should

EDITOR’S LETTER

be picky when picking a potential mate. Sisel describes the all-too-familiar feat of self-sabotage in You Owe it To Yourself. Griffin advocates for LGBTQIA+ inclusivity in sex education in Let’s Talk About Gay Sex by blending his gathered wisdom on the subject and the expertise of sexual health workers. An Artist’s Dilemma, written by Elise, tracks the struggle of keeping your artistic identity in unexpected spells of fatigue. This issue of Your Mag reminds you that there’s an abundance of knowledge in disappointment, and growth in redirection. Lessons tend to be concealed in the midst of unforeseen circumstances that force us to sit back and reflect. The universe really has our learning styles down to an algorithm. By the time anyone reads this, Thanksgiving would have come and gone. So I hope break was everything you wanted and more, but if not, hopefully you’ve just gained a bit more insight.

Ashley Ferrer

Let’s talk about

gay sex!

WRITTEN BY GRIFFIN WILLNER

That’s what I was thinking the first time I had sex. As I laid in a dimly lit basement on a musty, brown couch, I remember watching the other person writhe in pain, making a face I could only describe as utterly unpleasant. Though we were attempting to make love, all we could feel was discomfort. It’s funny how little I knew about sex then.

In general, sex is a topic that is only discussed in brief, if at all. Though a major part of life, sex, is stigmatized to the point where it is only for seventh grade classrooms, high school students’ toilet humor, and saucy moms’ wine nights. We all know about it, but so few of us know how to do it in a way that feels satisfying for all parties involved.

I would argue that sexual education should be required for all. Average courses in sex education have been shown to reduce rates of pregnancy and STIs, while abstinence-based lessons have shown the opposite, according to The Harvard Review ’s “The Kids Could Be Alright.” I had the opportunity to chat with Jess Preleski, the Director of Education, and Bethany Diaz, a health educator, both from Planned Parenthood of Metropolitan New Jersey on the topic. Both agreed there is a need for comprehensive sex education, even recommending that parents allow their children to be curious before the age of three. In providing a safe space with correct names for genitals, children can create positive associations and self-confidence. When speaking on the need for sex education, they argue, “Comprehensive sex ed is all about providing honest, accurate, and inclusive information. It’s also more than just anatomy and pregnancy prevention. It’s about life skills. Sex education is about setting boundaries for healthy relationships, navigating consent, understanding identity, and creating healthy habits around things like internet use and self-care practices.” It is clear to young people in 2022 that sex education is a necessity, but so few understand the dire need for an education that is more comprehensive, more inclusive, and more gay!

The LGBTQIA+ community has become an ever-growing presence in our society, yet in many ways, particularly in sex education, is severely underrepresented. A 2018 article by the Phi Delta Kappan estimated that nine out of ten individuals know someone who is gay or lesbian, while three out of ten know someone who is transgender. For me, I grew up gay in a fairly sex-positive environment in a town with an average sex ed program. I remember being surrounded by a sea of hyperactive middle schoolers and a jungle of cheap desks, staring at my awkward gym teacher attempting to say penis and vagina with a straight face. The animals in my class would roar with laughter as I wrote down each and every note while hoping to understand how I fit into this whole equation. Whenever the

PHOTOGRAPHED BY SADIE SWAYZE

word “gay” was brought up, the only association made would be that of HIV and its subsequent progression to AIDS. These autoimmune diseases are absolutely important, but that terrified seventh grader would not be able to think about coming out the next year without imagining a gruesome death. Instead, I would turn to inaccurate pornography and short stories in hopes of a clearer understanding of my fate. It all looked so easy to the actors on my computer screen. They would say, “Let’s do it,” and off they would go into immediate penetrative sex.

As I began exploring my hidden world with others, I quickly learned that anal sex for gay men is not everything. Soon, I would see that there are so many types of sex. On this idea, Preleski and Diaz also wrote that, “Some folks use hands and mouths to stimulate their partners, some folks don’t like genital stimulation at all and prefer sensual touch of the rest of the body, some folks use toys and other tools to give and receive pleasure. All of these are beautiful and just as important and valid as penetrative sex.” Knowing this, it is important to understand that MLM (men-loving-men) sex often consists of anal sex, and with this comes preparation. Those who want to be penetrated should explore cleaning techniques, whether that be basic soaping or anal douching. If uncomfortable with this, try using hands and mouths instead! Similarly, queer women and those with vulvas (which includes the vagina, clitoris, and labias) may prefer oral sex, but toys and fingers are an option too. On all bodies, do not be afraid to explore areas from the nipples, to the lips, to the inner thighs, to the feet if that is your thing, as long as your practices are consensual! We should find no shame in the sheets.

A few recommendations about queer sex are far from enough. Not all schools require sex ed, and those that do speak about gay sex in overt briefness. Diaz wrote, “school districts can spend one day at the end of the year on a short ‘sperm and egg makes baby’ lesson and say they met the requirement for sex ed. This is unacceptable. We need decision-makers…to understand that an effective curriculum is one that is taught throughout the year and scaffolded upon previous years, meaning you start small in lower grades and build upon that knowledge in older grades.” In starting young, she argued that children may learn about basic themes of consent and sexuality, and move on to more challenging themes of sex and intimacy over time. Diaz ended by stating, “Queerness isn’t going anywhere, and you can’t just make it go away by erasing these experiences in communal spaces. Education is a human right, and sex education is part of that. Everyone deserves access to accurate, nonjudgmental information that can help them lead healthy, fulfilling lives… [Queerness] should be celebrated, because queer love and queer sex and queer identities are beautiful.” YM

“Let’s talk about sex, baby! Let’s talk about you and me!”

A ‘Situationship’ with a Film Bro: AN ART SCHOOL ROMANCE

WRITTEN BY ANNALIESE BAKER

It was February when I began to consider myself a romantic instead of a hopeless romantic.

Throughout my teenage years, I thought I would be won over with a grand gesture and confession from a guy about how much I meant to him, how much he cared about me, and how he promised to never wrong me. I pictured him holding a bouquet of Gerbera Daisies, because he somehow knew they were my favorite.

Instead, all it took were three simple words: “You like Hitchcock?”

There were two posters—one of Robert Smith and Michael Dempsey and another of Dial M for Murder—plastered onto the walls of my freshman dorm. No one ever commented on them, mainly because my friends didn’t watch Hitchcock movies and most people my age who knew The Cure didn’t know what the band members looked like. So when he walked into my room that

PHOTOGRAPHED BY ARIS LIANG

Thursday evening, I was speechless.

“Most people know Psycho,” he continued, “but Dial M for Murder? That’s a good one. Not too many people know that one.”

“Yeah, but Rear Window is my favorite,” I replied.

My parents had raised me to enjoy reading Western Political Thought as a pre-teen. Family movie nights often featured Ingrid Bergman or Jimmy Stewart. My father’s favorite film was North by Northwest and my mother’s favorite poet was Sylvia Plath; this cultural epoch found solace in my West Chicago home as a child.

This environment also made me a Film Bro’s worst nightmare.

In case you are unaware, a “Film Bro” is someone (usually male) who enjoys movies like Fight Club and The Godfather, as well as other popular classic films. They rave about Tarantino and Hitchcock in a pretentious (and often misogynistic) manner. They need everyone to know they’re a film nerd, but in a way that makes

it seem like they know more about cinema than anyone within a five-mile radius does.

I conversed with this particular Film Bro about all of his interests, which he insisted were “very unique” and all “hot takes.” We talked for hours about the best cinematographers and what HBO series had the strongest writing. We called this flirting. Our friends called this arguing.

A Film Bro cannot have a conversation if they are disagreed with; they need to ensure they are always right, no matter the circumstances.

It is not possible for a Film Bro to engage in a genuine conversation; they can only argue, as they are always defensive. Each time someone opens their mouth in the same room as a Film Bro, the Film Bro is simply waiting to disagree, or to loudly and publicly declare their opinion.

After leaving the lacrosse house in tears one evening because of him, I realized that what I had with the Film Bro wasn’t romance. It was a pure, burning anger that I had mistaken for passion. Every time we interacted, I left feeling more empty than I did full. Whether it was a simple “hello” while walking to class, or a night out, I couldn’t help but feel entirely disappointed by a connection I had worked so hard to maintain.

A Sunday in the dining hall after a lacrosse party was a social experiment in and of itself. It was impossible not to run into people

you saw the previous night. If there was a massive Emerson party, you would hug people like they were your best friends, despite only ever speaking to them during your 10 am ethics lecture.

That following Sunday, during brunch in the dining hall, I felt like I’d run into everyone I’d met at college. They asked what happened last night or why I left so early, holding back tears. At the end of each sentence, they’d glance over their shoulder at the Film Bro sitting a few tables away, a grin on his face as he loudly explained the psychology behind The Godfather trilogy.

As this meal progressed, the smaller Emerson seemed to get. While I understood that Emerson was the same size as my high school, I didn’t quite realize it until I began to get more involved, with both people and organizations. Everyone was connected to one another, at least in some capacity, which meant they had to know the person responsible for my theatrics from the previous evening. So I would smile at them and shrug over my plate of scrambled eggs and potatoes, without saying anything, to let them know my heartbreak was because of a Film Bro.

Despite proclaiming myself as a romantic weeks prior, I resorted to being a hopeless romantic that day. I learned that rarely would someone find romance beyond a situationship at a small liberal arts college, especially when dealing with Film Bros. And everyone was bound to know about it. YM

I ck!

WRITTEN BY NIRVANA RAGLAND

Picture this: you’re walking outside with your guard down, enjoying the day, and boom, your biggest phobia pops up right in front of you. Oh my God, you can’t possibly take this! So what do you do? You run! Yeah, that’s exactly how icks make you feel. There’s no working your way around it or mustering up the courage to confront it. It’s-just-absolutely-not! The rise of “icks” has no other than social media to thank for the resurgence of debate. The invention of “icks” has gone far beyond preferences—creating unrealistic expectations for people’s partners or the crushes they are trying to attain. Or has it? Are people finally admitting all the things they try to overlook due to social media? Young adults are constantly critiqued for being lazy, or unable to handle difficult situations, but maybe we’ve just given a name to a timeless feeling.

“Icks” are the moment you suddenly stop being attracted to someone, though this trend is primarily used by individuals attracted to men. Although icks are often compared to red flags or pet peeves, it simply runs deeper than that. Unlike red flags which can be ignored, romanticized, or seen as dangerous, or pet peeves which apply to any and everyone—icks are in their own lane. Icks are unique to each individual and they can’t be overlooked. I certainly have a list of things that send me running. My (lengthy) list includes, but is not limited to: unkempt toes in flip-flops, terrible grammar, and a lack of respect for customer service workers. The real question is not if “icks” truly exist, but what has them so widely talked about? How do they impact our relations with long-term or sexual partners?

Disclosing personal icks to the public seems to be a common trend and originates from TikTok as most do these days. Back in 2021, TikTok users began listing off their icks. Everything from saying the word bubbles to failing to do a cartwheel. How’d TikTok get a hold of icks though? On Season 3 of Love Island, contestant Olivia Attwood first used the word. She explained this phenomenon in an interview by saying, “It’s caught you, and it’s taken over your body. It’s just ick. I can’t shake it off.” And well, the rest is history.

ART BY ISA LUZARRAGA

So how should we approach icks? Whether someone tells us we’ve given them the ick or when we’ve got to deliver the bad news ourselves, think of it like this: regardless of what year it is, there’s always been basic rules of attraction. Oftentimes, these guidelines are overlooked but remain true. Being with someone solely because they are a good person and not because there’s also an attraction won’t get you far. Attraction is equally important as a connection. It’s not only a disservice to that individual, but also to ourselves. Icks are normal and it’s unhealthy to try to deny a gut feeling. Dare I say, it plays into settling in a relationship? I’ve given someone a chance not because I wanted to, but because I felt obligated to. Whether that is a reflection of my standards for partners or lack thereof, trying to force myself over an ick is settling! I think it stems from the high standards I’ve set for myself, societal expectations, and familial expectations. As a result, it directly plays into the standards I have placed on others. I wonder why a guy doesn’t check himself in the mirror frequently enough to notice the gnarly booger hanging out of his nose. Are these constant critiques of myself and what I do to be hyper-aware becoming criticisms I reflect on men I pursue? That’s the phenomenon of the ick. We know where the term was birthed, but not why we get the icks we do. It could be aesthetic-driven—based on past trauma and experiences or things we were taught are distasteful, dirty, or gross. Maybe it’s an amalgamation of them all. I believe my icks are inherent. The icks I possess are often a reflection of my partner’s character and what they prioritize in their life versus my own. Is it their personal gain? Hygiene? Popularity? When I get a glimpse of their true colors, I gain a distaste for who and what I thought they were. Honestly, who and what I wanted them to be and what they were in actuality. The rose-colored lens fades quickly and the reality hits that maybe I didn’t want this individual at all, or maybe the ick has become the tipping point. I’ve had to shift my perspective on icks. As someone who has told myself time and time again that I’m too picky or looking for something that doesn’t exist, I realized I can’t help it when I get an ick. YM

WRITTEN BY ABIGAIL ROSS

A Sugar Baby’s Future

Have you heard about sugar babies? Sugar daddies? What about sugar mommies? Sugar dating has evolved into a common sociocultural phenomenon over the past decade, where couples gain mutual benefit in seeking meaningful connections. I know what you must be thinking: why are young people engaging in sugar dating? These relationships typically exist between young women and older men, but in some cases, they have also been established among young men and older women in recent years. However, they all desire to be part of one another’s “success” or “circle”—whether for economic gain, status cumulation, or even intimate mentorship. Some are just eager for conversation and physical touch. Although sugar dating has a multitude of complexities, young people continue to tell their friends that they need to find a sugar partner who will spoil, care for, and even love them to a certain degree. But the question remains: how has this dating area become so appealing?

Sugar dating is controversial and, at times, hard to defend. Many people, most notably older generations, find the premise to be dangerous, concerning, and unethical. They believe young people, especially women, should not put themselves at odds with older men who often have unknown intentions. But they do not understand how sugar arrangements function and what the main point of this nuanced type of dating entails. The sugar relationship is give and take. According to recent statistics from SeekingArrangement, about 3 million college students in the U.S. are registered on the site, making up about 37 percent of total sugar baby users. Some young women even claim they would never return to what they call “conventional dating.” In their view, sugar daddies are willing to supply them with unlimited gifts, attention, and vacation opportunities that young women believe they cannot get anywhere else. Meanwhile, these older men are getting exactly what they want—affection from young women who give them the time of day.

So how could anyone say no to sugar dating? It’s a sugar baby’s future.

Not all sugar connections are short-term. Some are considerably long-term companionships and can last several years, depending on their growth as a unit. But young women keep their sugar daddy relationships on the D.L. because sugar rules and guidelines keep them from spilling the tea. Many sugar babies deal with high-profile men who own companies and have endless money. In other words, serious sugar dating requires written agreements, con-

sistency, and discretion from both parties. These men do not want their names tarnished in any way because of the reputation sugar dating has acquired. A site called Let’s Talk Sugar states that having a sugar daddy can put unnecessary stress on young women, but as long as sugar babies are “flexible,” “kind,” and “honest about where [they] stand,” their sugar daddy will be happy. But is sugar dating worth it in the end?

Amanda Pasciucco from Life Coaching and Therapy states, “... it’s so easy to judge something or someone, yet what do we actually know about this lifestyle?” The standards of sugar dating have permeated our society as a problem to be solved. Older generations might argue that sugar babies have “daddy issues” or perhaps unresolved traumas that have led them to seek older men. They are searching for a partner out of their age range because their fathers have abandoned them in some way, so they need someone they can look up to for guidance. The issues with commonplace ageist and sexist theories are that the emphasis is often on how women are viewed in sugar relationships, not men. Sugar dating can be mutual, consensual, and serve as a valid space where young women can achieve happiness and stability without repercussions. Pasciucco ends by writing, “There is no right or wrong with being a sugar baby. The only question is whether you want to be one or not.” And many people are satisfied!

In the foreseeable future, sugar connections will maintain relevance in younger generations as a form of value exchange. This transactional relationship almost always involves money but can also embrace payment in other ways. Though “sugaring” varies in seriousness, many sugar babies are pleasantly surprised with the outcome of their relationships. After having described her sugar daddy experiences, an anonymous sugar baby notes that despite receiving presents such as designer handbags and watches, she has learned “... how two people who both are seeking and in need of two different things in life can form almost a symbiotic relationship.” She does not regret seeking arrangements with older men who showered her with gifts and provided helpful advice about how she could reach her goals and become more successful on her own terms.

Unfortunately, sugar dating earns a poor reputation because of the negative stereotypes older generations have bestowed upon this specific dating arena. But ultimately, a person’s relationship is no one else’s business but their own. YM

DOLL PARTS

DIRECTED BY WILLOW TORRES PHOTOGRAPHED BY SEBASTIAN OLIVO STYLED BY AMYA DIGGS MAKEUP BY JENNIE GRECO MODELED BY TANNER LLOYD

Made With Love

WRITTEN BY KATHERINE ASSELIN

My grandmother taught me to crochet when I was little. It was some Saturday afternoon in 2010; and my parents didn’t feel like dealing with my incessant questioning while they ran errands, so I was passed off to my grandparents for the day. I was a creative kid and had always been curious about how my grandmother could make things out of balls of fluff. So on that day, I found myself in my grandparents’ living room surrounded by several cats and several more bins of yarn.

The first thing she taught me to make was a small turquoise and purple square. I decided that this would be a “thunder blanket” for Cricket–a bossy and mischievous Siamese cat who always had something to say. Despite her fickle attitude to most of my cousins, Cricket liked the blanket (and by extension, me) and would frequently curl up on top of it.

I think this was when I realized I could show the people in my life my love for them by making them things. As I passed through the rest of elementary school and middle school, I tried out other forms of art: painting, drawing, origami, and sewing. I eventually found my way back to crocheting during quarantine and decided to relearn because I couldn’t find anything better to do. I made a crop top, which I don’t think I ever wore.

Whenever I watch anything on TV with my friends or my family, I need something to do with my hands or else I will struggle to focus. I found that crocheting is something I could do with relative ease while still (mostly) paying attention to the plot. I worked my way through a number of poorly constructed projects before I got decent at crocheting.

I had made a lot of lovely friends in my first semester of college and, last fall, I decided to crochet Christmas and Hanukkah presents for them. It was an ambitious project. Eventually, I finished presents for most of my friends. I made four beanies, three bucket hats, two tote bags, two bandanas, and a cat hat. After that, I worked on a few projects: a flower with a slightly terrifying face and a blanket that I

PHOTOGRAPHED BY ISA LUZARRAGA

gave up on about a third of the way done, among others.

The beginning of this semester was challenging. I wasn’t taking time to create and do things I enjoy doing. I went home for a weekend and was reminded of how much joy creating brings me. I found a pattern online for a mesh top and I made three tops in three days. I made one for myself and then two more for friends who had upcoming birthdays.

It is incredibly rewarding to wear something that I spent hours of my time and labor creating. In a time where efficiency ranks above all else and productivity is more important than quality, I find so much joy in spending deliberate time and energy to make wearable items for myself and my loved ones. Making things for people has become one of the ways that I express my love and appreciation for those in my life.

Clothes have more meaning when they are made by you or someone you know. Handmade clothing costs more than mass-produced clothing because a real person used their hands to make the final product. Mass-produced clothing is cheap, unsustainable, and doesn’t have as long of a life as handmade clothing. And, crocheted textiles cannot be produced by a machine in the same way that knit textiles can be. Any item of crocheted clothing available from a fast fashion store had to have been handmade by a real person–someone who was probably not adequately paid for their labor considering the prices of these pieces.

I encourage you to spend time making something wearable for yourself or someone you love. If you prefer other creative outlets, consider finding someone who makes and sells wearable items to buy from. Fast fashion has sapped the intimacy out of the connection between a person and their clothes. As individuals, we can take small but deliberate steps to return this personal connection to our closets. YM

Making things for people has become one of the ways that I express my love and appreciation for those in my life.

wearing this 2014 choker heals my inner child

As the world of fashion continues to emphasize creativity and authenticity, I find myself devolving back into the idealized style I had in my youth. The ever-changing nature of fashion creates the subjectivity of trendiness. Trends have haunted me for years, especially when I was younger. Often the intersection of fashion and beauty trends leads to unrealistic standards pushed upon society’s impressionable youth. As a kid, I found myself so obsessed with dressing a certain way in order to be perceived as cool and relevant. I assumed that not following these trends would lead to complete social alienation and a lack of relatability between my peers and I. Always being decked out in the latest craze actually halted my development of personal style. It was almost as if I dressed robotic, like every outfit I wore was taken right off the mannequin.

When reflecting on my past infatuation with the concept of trendiness as the seemingly only way to fit in and be considered fashionable, it becomes apparent to me that these fads truly cultivated my current fashion sense. Reviving pieces that were popular during my peak style development has allowed me to tap into that younger version of myself. I still wear the infamous solid black chokers that had a grip on every Tumblr user in 2014 simply because, in my eyes, this accessory has become timeless solely based on the longevity of which I’ve been wearing it.

Our generation has lived through and been at the forefront of a multitude of iconic trends that have somewhat become signifiers of our age group. In a way, many of these trends have captured the essence of my coming-of-age. From the resurgence of low-rise silhouettes to the thigh-high socks and baby doll dress or tennis skirt combo, certain iconic pieces have returned to the trend cycle, bringing us back to the time they ruled in 2016. The nostalgic element of these “trends” is what has kept them in my closet.

However, the obsession with trends has been detrimental to my psyche and worldly understanding. I conceptualized my “coolness” based on the newness and trendiness of my clothes. By establishing my self-worth in this manner, I trapped myself in this mindset of placing high value on clothing rather than style. Growing up in a household that survived on hand-me-downs, I valued the newness of clothes because it was rare for me to have an

article of clothing that was mine and only mine; one that was never my mom’s or my brother’s or my cousin’s, or even my neighbors’. I wanted to fit in and in order to do that, I felt the need to own every trendy or micro-trendy article of clothing I could get my hands on. This never worked in my favor as constantly purchasing new clothes proved to be expensive and unsustainable.

The whole basis of the trend cycle is to be fast-paced, shocking, and universally enjoyed. Thus, establishing the fast fashion industry, one that appeals to an immense amount of consumers and creates an addiction to expeditious clothing cycles. As we all know, fast fashion is incredibly harmful to the environment. Rapid and excessive production of textiles creates harmful microfibers, toxic wastewater, and high carbon emission levels that destroy the Earth’s ozone layer.

The excessive consumption that comes along with fastpaced trend cycles and the subsequent creation of the fast fashion industry is not only incredibly harmful to the planet but also to human self-expression. The desire to be “trendy” leads to a loss of individuality and a fear of vulnerability. The biggest part of self-expression is one’s ability to be authentic and therefore vulnerable to judgment, but society’s prioritization of trendiness deters people from this due to the impossible standards it sets. The pressure to achieve this level of sameness impairs our ability to truly connect with ourselves. In order to attempt to be free from this mindset, it’s important to redefine the value we place on clothing versus style.

As my style evolves, my definition of a “staple piece” has changed alongside it. I no longer view staple pieces as the basic building blocks of my outfit, but rather as the pieces that have displayed my personal style even through its transformation. If you told my 9-year-old self that neon-colored polka dot leggings would no longer be the basis of every outfit I wore, my mind would’ve been blown. Although I no longer wear such a colorful and unique article of clothing, I still find myself gravitating towards accessories and clothing pieces that my younger self would absolutely die over. That’s because the style that piques my interest is so deeply intertwined with my life experiences.

By redefining my concept of basics, I’ve allowed myself to fully embrace my personal taste in every aspect. When I pick out

WRITTEN BY ANNIE FAIRALL PHOTOGRAPHED BY MINA ROSE MORALES

my outfit, I listen to that youthful voice in my head and attempt to dress in what makes her feel happy and beautiful. I put on my collared fluffy white sweater because the younger me loves the plush texture, the comfortability, and the retro aspects that are reminiscent of what my beloved grandmother used to wear. I love the timeless simplicity of the piece, but I also understand how my personal conception of fashion is deeply connected to the things and people I admired and desired in my youth.

Attaching sentiment to style has also allowed me to become a more sustainable fashion consumer. I value the sentimental aspects of clothing because it connects me to all the whimsical and unique things and the people I love. To me, that is a staple piece; an article of clothing that connects all sides of yourself, one that makes you feel so 100% that it’s almost euphoric.

Healing your inner child is entirely interpersonal. Everyone faces different struggles in regard to that little version of themselves. For me, healing my inner child through fashion allows me to come to terms with the insecurities that have curated my self-perception. Fashion allows me to cope with living as a female-presenting person in a society that constantly critiques every aspect of

femininity and devalues women altogether. There’s a therapeutic element to getting dressed each morning; I’m connecting with the genuine version of myself that my younger self always wanted to be. It’s a wholesome experience to put on an outfit that makes the little girl inside of me glow with joy. As a kid, friendship seemed to be completely based on this concept of sameness and relatability, which led me to diverge from myself in order to act, look, and feel like the people I so desperately wanted to like me. Nowadays, I prioritize individuality and uniqueness in my friendships; I don’t want to be surrounded by a bunch of carbon copies of myself. I admire my friends for their unique perspectives, personal style, and authenticity. Each and every day, I challenge myself to remain authentic and freely express myself even if it’s not the norm.

Fashion is all about going against the norm, constantly creating and innovating new looks or ways to wear pieces you may already own. I see this all around me, especially here. Emerson is a place that really prioritizes authenticity and creativity in every aspect, so just existing here inspires me to delve fully into the style that feels the most like me. ym

WRITTEN BY LILY BROWN PHOTOGRAPHED BY CHLOE MAHAN

A Rhapsody for Bohemian Fashion

Oh, mama mia, mama mia! Fall retro is back just in time for a season filled with cozy knits. Bohemian style is reminiscent of hippie fashion in the 70s. Obviously, the bohemian trend isn’t new, but its resurgence caters to a new demographic. Through earthy tones, free-spirited patterns, and organic fabrics, boho fashion is bringing a natural flair back into the 21st century.

From crochet to florals to fringe, patchwork, and tie-dye, bohemian style embraces the easy come, easy go way of life. “I’m a huge fan of flare pants. I love a good form fitting [piece] that has a little flowy moment either at the sleeves or at the bottom and I love all the prints that come with it,” says Ellie Carlin, an employee at the bohemian clothing store, Free People. Carlin believes “bohemian fashion is for anyone. It’s very form fitting where it needs to be fitting but it’s also flowy, and then it also has very earthy undertones. And in some situations you see a kind of more colorful version of that.” According to her, this fashion taste also tends to compliment every silhouette and skin tone.

Despite its ties to hippie culture decades ago, the boho-chic style is popular in mainstream culture today. The modern bohemian trend carries on as if nothing really matters by embracing the creative freedom in its designs and the intricacy of the craft of the clothes. Liza Slovie, a designer for the feminine spirit brand The Pyramid Collection, shares that the neo-bohemian scene still has “more of a flowy and comfortable look yet a sort of grace and elegance to it.” Slovie expresses how “people want style and they want comfort. If bohemian is done properly, you get both.” Her brand designs for a more eclectic and crafty customer base by utilizing a combination of different floral patterns and warmer and cooler tones. Those involved in the boho-chic trend gravitate towards clothing pairings that include various styles and time periods to create a perfect eclectic fit.

Mark Engebretson has been involved in the fashion industry for over forty years with brands like Ralph Lauren, Victoria’s

Secret, Armani, and now Faherty Brand on the company’s product development production team. Engebretson has worked for so long in the industry that he has witnessed the emergence of many different trends, garments, and styles. One of Engebretson’s current challenges is how “you create the disciplines in the organization to meet that growth and help the scale while still keeping this culture front, out front, and forward. You have to be able to manage and keep a culture still relevant while still driving a business.”

The Faherty Brand’s main focus is mountain, beach, and camping clothing. Faherty has that free-spirited attitude and sustainability that the new bohemian trend follows. Engebretson defines boho as urban and reveals how it actually “came about relatively easily in the beginning because of necessity.” With an abundance of patchworks and hand me downs, these communities were extremely creative.

This creativity could be seen during the runway this fall. Everything showcased at the Vogue World Runway in New York promoted sustainable design practices. Several brands, such as Chloé, Etro, Ulla Johnson, and Zimmermann, revamped the boho trend by increasing the sophistication of their hippie-esque fashion lines. They all paired crafty elements with glamorous, high-fashion twists on classics like cowboy boots, basic denim, printed maxi dresses, or simple suede shoes.

Even though Jennie Greco ‘25 does not always incorporate boho-chic items into her wardrobe, she still loves to experiment with some of its eclecticness. She defines bohemian style in her personal experience as something that “has always been flowy, neutral colors, beads, and patterns. Bohemian fashion is comfortable and spiritual for a lot of people. Like all fashion, it’s a way of self expression and beauty.” Embracing bohemian style is ultimately about being unique, different, out of the box, and allowing your personal style to flow any way the wind blows. YM

“There’s a Piece of You in How I Dress:” The Style-sfication of Concert Fashion

WRITTEN BY SARA FERGANG ART BY SISEL GELMAN

Brightly colored feathers, sequins, and loose holographic glitter. The energy of screaming teenage girls radiates off remnants of bright pink boas and the echoes of Harry Styles’ closing song, “Kiwi,” fill the air. A Gen-Z ghost town. I’ve never been to a Harry Styles concert, but this is how I imagine the stadium floor looks once it’s deserted. The typical “Love on Tour” concert-goer wears a crop top, funky-colored flared bottoms, a matching feathered boa, and accessories such as go-go boots and heart sunglasses. There must be some rulebook for his shows because those out of uniform stick out. Nowadays, closets aren’t the first place people look for outfit inspiration; people want to wear this uniform to prove their loyalty to the artist and their fellow fans. In short, the “Harry Stylesfication” of concert outfits has turned concert fashion elitist.

The COVID-19 pandemic devastated fans as concerts were postponed by lockdown protocols. Consequently, many teenagers became engrossed in social media to escape reality. New trends were rapidly fabricated despite the lack of in-person events to attend. On the other hand, music’s status as a form of escapism helped musicians garner popularity. The revival of live music brought new opportunities for concertgoers to show off their styles. People turned to TikTok to post their pre-concert “get ready with me” videos (or GRWMs), where they would flaunt their uniforms: sequin-encrusted crop tops and swirly-patterned flared bottoms. As concert GRWMs were boosted through TikTok’s ever-changing algorithm, the ideal concert fit became highly coveted. Aleiagh Hynds ‘24, a visual media arts major and concert photographer, notes this change in concert attire. She says, “It’s definitely a lot of fast fashion. People will usually wear the dominant trend and stuff we used to associate with like ‘basic girls’ and sorority girls.” This shift is primarily associated with the desire to maintain a social media presence. Hynds comments, “Fast fashion crowds treat shows as a place to show off and take pictures (rather) than a safe space to enjoy live music.” On TikTok, the hashtag “#HSLOTout-

fit” has 387.8 million views and contains various fast-fashion-filled fit checks. Each video is polished and fashioned to look aesthetically pleasing in hopes of going viral. During Harry’s residency at Madison Square Garden, my Instagram feed was full of people posing under the “Love on Tour” sign. I didn’t even realize these people were Harry Styles fans!

Taylor Swift’s past tours showcase the stark contrast between concert fashion then and now. DIY outfits were the norm; concertgoers would wear homemade “Junior Jewels’’ shirts inspired by the “You Belong With Me” music video or they would build outfits inspired by various song references such as old ladies holding a sign that said “the old Taylor can’t come to the phone right now,” referencing Swift’s song, “Look What You Made Me Do.” The more creative the outfit, the more likely you would get selected by Taylornation to meet her.

When attending the “Red” Tour, my friends and I wore matching DIY outfits. We bought red sequins, glitter glue, and a tacky red hair extension because loving him wasn’t the only thing that was red, so was a chunk of my hair. The crowd wasn’t a sea of colorful feathers. I took solace in knowing the only matching accessory in the stadium was the complementary bracelet that lit up with Swift’s songs.

Besides concert ‘fits being repetitive, other issues must be considered. Most, if not all, outfits are from fast-fashion sites like SHEIN or ZARA, and the litter from the accessories isn’t biodegradable. It also places a significant strain on the employees at each venue. Hynds addresses this and states, “A lot more thought could go into these outfit choices; from an environmental standpoint: fast fashion isn’t good, and from a respect standpoint: employees shouldn’t have to clean up after you because you were shedding feathers all night.” Next time you pick your concert outfit, try something new, not only to be different, but as a sign of respect for those who have to clean up the glitter and feathers that you leave behind. YM

AUDREY

AVA WHITELEY (she/her)

SILALAHI (she/her)

How would you describe your personal style in three words?

Comfortable, Off-duty, & Classic

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

I follow a lot of fashion bloggers -- Leandra Cohen has one of the best fashion newsletters. I also look at a lot of archive photos from Phoebe Philo’s Celine, The Row, and lately, Sandy Liang! I might be biased but Indonesian designers have been killing it too -Saroong Atelier, Aksu, Pillar, and many more.

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

It would probably say Ssense (if there was no budget limit, a girl can dream) -- they have everything and feature tons of small designers.

Celebrity style icon?

Devon Lee Carlson

What are three pieces of your wardrobe you can’t live without?

My A.P.C oxfords, thrifted Ralph Lauren wool coat that I bought for $49, and my favorite Levi’s.

HARLEM ROGERS

ALLISON HALLAK

(she/her)

How would you describe your personal style in three words?

Relaxed, versatile, and classic

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

I like 60s, 70s, and 90s fashion a lot, and I, of course, take inspiration from Pinterest. Also people on the street can be really inspiring.

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be? Any thrift/flea

Celebrity style icon? I wouldn’t really say I have one, but Winona Ryder is pretty cool though

What are three pieces of your wardrobe you can’t live without? Probably my leather jacket, my converse, and my purple v-neck sweater with striped sleeves

STREET STYLE

STYLE

How would you describe your personal style in three words?

Sexy, chic, timeless

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

A lot of times I get ideas in my dreams! Like sexy fashion visions.

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

Depop! I love finding interesting pieces that I wouldn’t find in a store or that anyone else might find especially because when I do shop its normally with a very specific idea in mind and I’ll scroll for hours, days, months, until I find that piece!

Celebrity style icon?

90s Salma Hayek, Orion Carloto, and Bella Hadid

What are three pieces of your wardrobe you can’t live without?

My black heeled platform boots - they’ve been through everything with me, a major staple! My gold hoops - I always wear them! As a latina it’s in my DNA, I can’t live with out them. And my pink sparkly bolero! It’s just so cute and sexy and fun! It also just screams ME! I love it.

GABRIELLA PÉREZ (she/her)

SOPHIA SCHALL (she/her)

How would you describe your personal style in three words?

This is a hard question, please don’t make me answer

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

Hmm, anime and classic rock bands I like, I guess

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

I don’t go to any particular store, really, but most recently I got a bunch of t-shirts from RedBubble so I guess I’ll say that?

Celebrity style icon?

Ken Kaneki and Axl Rose

What are three pieces of your wardrobe you can’t live without?

Black jeans, black leather jacket, chokers

JULIANNA MORGAN (she/her)

MARLY KAUFMAN (she/her)

How would you describe your personal style in three words?

Grunge-fairy, colorful, experimental

Where do you typically get outfit inspiration from?

Depop and sometimes TikTok

If you could only shop at one place for the rest of your life, where would it be?

Any thrift store

Celebrity style icon?

Britney Spears <3

What are three pieces of your wardrobe you can’t live without?

My thrifted The Legend of Dragon brown cap, my grandma’s jean cap, and my thrifted rainbow halter top!

SOMEWHERE SOUL CITY

DIRECTED BY ASHLEY FERRER PHOTOGRAPHED BY EYIWUNMI AJAO STYLED BY AMYA DIGGS MAKEUP BY KEVELLE BRANCH MODELED BY NIRVANA RAGLAND, LIZZIE BORG, IZZY ABBOTT, KEVELLE BRANCH

SOMEWHERE IN CITY

ADHD & ME

Daydreamer. Escapist. Space cadet. Poured out of the mouths of well-meaning teachers, family members, and friends, these labels—accompanied by laughter and a reminder to “stay focused”—have defined me since childhood. It wouldn’t be until my senior year of high school however, that a new label, assigned to me by a psychologist, would join this gentle ribbing: Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, otherwise known as ADHD.

Senior year, for me, arrived at the height of the COVID-19 pandemic. Having struggled with anxiety and depression throughout high school, the added stressors of quarantine and the transition to college just around the corner prompted me to reach out to a therapist for help. During that first meeting, she confirmed that not only did I have generalized anxiety and depressive episodes, but that I also had ADHD. The other two disorders most likely stemmed from the fact that I had been diagnosed so late in life.

But how had I gone seventeen years without any of the adults in my life noticing symptoms? ADHD is known for appearing mainly in children with easily identifiable symptoms such as hyperactivity, impulsiveness, low frustration tolerance, poor planning skills, and extreme disorganization.

According to psychologist Kristie Jones, “ADHD is one of the most common neurodevelopmental disorders of childhood, and is usually first diagnosed during the elementary school years after a teacher notifies a parent that their child has been exhibiting behaviors during class time.” My brother had been sent home with one of these notices while he was in kindergarten and attending the same elementary school that I had several years before. Our parents often commented that we had similar dispositions and personalities. So why did I slip through the cracks?

The answer lies in our gender.

Millions of female and femme-identifying individuals diagnosed with ADHD slip right past the average diagnosis age of seven, just like I did, simply because it is harder to spot our symptoms at first glance. “Girls tend to exhibit more internal symptoms, such as inattentiveness. This is much harder for teachers to spot, as it looks like they are just daydreaming. Additionally, girls tend to have a stronger desire to please authority figures and work harder to mask any undesirable traits, which indirectly leads them to unknowingly develop coping strategies for ADHD,” Jones shared. “Boys with ADHD are usually seen with high levels of hyperactivity, extreme disorganization, and other external symptoms. Things that would be disruptive in a classroom and so easy for a teacher to notice.”

Conversations with my therapist revealed that, though I was firmly on the inattentive side of the ADHD scale, not all of my symptoms were internal. Our sessions had me reexamining my experiences in school as she tried to help me understand just how much of an impact the disorder had already had on my life. My

“daydreams” and “active imagination” were states of dissociation. The inability to start work until the deadline wasn’t laziness, but ADHD paralysis. Using a planner couldn’t magically cure all my organizational problems because my brain was hardwired to be disorganized. I remember feeling increasingly frustrated that I hadn’t been diagnosed earlier. So many misunderstandings and other issues could have been avoided if I had only understood why my brain worked the way it did sooner.

During one of these sessions, I realized one of my teachers had noticed something strange with my behavior. She just hadn’t reported it as a potential sign of ADHD. During a parent-teacher conference, my third grade teacher complained to my parents about my focus in class. She informed them that I never seemed to pay attention to the lessons on the board, and that she would have to say my name three times before I answered her questions. When my parents approached me about the issue, I told them I was trying to pay attention, but I kept zoning out and missing sections of the lesson. In the end, nothing ever came of this confrontation since my grades weren’t suffering. Instead, I was sent to an eye doctor, and a conclusion was reached that my inability to focus on instructions was an eyesight deficiency that prevented me from seeing the board.

It was only when I got to high school that I started really noticing how bad my ability to stay organized and focused was. I enrolled in AP and honors level classes, because I believed it was the only way to get accepted to my dream school. The material was so much harder, and my anxiety just kept getting worse and worse because I was falling behind for the first time. Almost every night I would be awake until the early hours of the morning, struggling to complete homework that should have been finished weeks before. It seemed like nothing I did would help me catch back up, and my mental health suffered immensely because of it.

Developmental pediatricians such as Dr. Patricia Quinn, who specializes in ADHD in women and girls, say that boys are more than twice as likely to get diagnosed with the disorder than girls are. 50 to 75 percent of female and femme-identifying individuals with ADHD will live their entire lives without a diagnosis.

If I hadn’t decided to advocate for myself and seek help, a critical part of who I am would have gone undiscovered. My diagnosis didn’t automatically improve my mental health or magically enhance my ability to focus. I didn’t become a master multitasker after a single therapy session. ADHD is something you learn to live with, not cure. But knowing what makes me tick allowed me to take control of my disorder, instead of my disorder controlling me. I’m healing. The system might have failed me, but if people are willing to take notice and listen, then it might not fail some other little kid sitting at a desk, wondering why all she can think about is a crack in the wall that looks like a dinosaur. YM

WRITTEN BY ALEKS CARNEY

ART BY ALEKS CARNEY

Ijust participated in a reality TV show. This is how I ruined my chances at winning $2,500 and an author’s retreat.

I am prone to procrastination. My latest bout with this distasteful habit surrounds the show America’s Next Great Author. The premise of the show’s pilot was a “Pitchapalooza”—the challenge of pitching a novel to a panel of bestselling authors.

I was sold by the idea of competing; so before auditions even came out, I told everyone I was ready to submit a writing sample and self tape–but when the audition calls came out, I did nothing.

A week went by, and nothing. A month went by… nothing. With only a few hours until the deadline, my ambition kicked in and I applied.

Recently I’ve become aware of another guest sitting beside procrastination at my table: self-sabotage.

This guest is a cruel, spiraling vicious cycle. Self-sabotage is constantly undermining myself out of fear that my impostor syndrome is real, and I am not the golden child I promised to be.

An email two weeks later: Out of 800+ applications, I was one of 100 still in the running.

I thought about writing my pitch every day of October. And then (you guessed it) I did nothing. My chances of getting chosen as the final 20 were slim. There were other authors with published books, literary agents, and awards that would get chosen before I did.

I only practiced my rushed pitch the night before the competition in a hotel room. I kept pausing the timer because I couldn’t get past the first paragraph—sometimes the first two words—without messing up the blueprint in my head.

The day of, I was nervous. I pretended to be calm, but my heart was pounding so hard in my chest that I was sure the judges could hear it next to me.

The cameras began to roll, and the presenter began calling names for finalists to stand up and pitch at a podium. With every new name, my heart would race with desire, hoping to be called next…and then it would relax, relieved that it wasn’t me. The entire pilot I spent caught between two extremes–a desperate hunger to be next, and a guilty peace at not embarrassing myself.

And then, I was called.

My anxiety morphed into a beam of bright light emitting from my chest and my smile. That was me! I had been chosen! I had been deemed worthy of such merit! I strutted to the podium, letting my long red coat glide behind me like a cape. I beamed with pride and then…

I stuttered and shook; I tripped on my words. I was not prepared. I did my best, a mediocre job that failed to win the competition.

“I recognize that often people are doing the best they can,” Melanie Matson from Emerson College’s Healing and Advocacy Collective mentioned when asked about the topic. “When I reviewed articles about self-sabotage, many seem to be about undermining oneself or destructive behavior towards oneself, and then how to change yourself.

It makes me think about internalized oppression and how

forms of ideological, institutional, and interpersonal oppression can become internalized. For example, as a result of discrimination, institutional gaslighting, and harassment, it’s not uncommon for people of color, queer, and disabled folks to experience imposter syndrome. They are being made to feel like an imposter.

My immediate inclination is critical analysis of the term ‘self-sabotage,’ thinking about how power is operating through this term. For example, what does it mean when we add ‘self’ in front of words like ‘sabotage’? Is someone covertly trying to destroy oneself? Who benefits when the term ‘self-sabotage’ is used? Could institutions avoid social justice efforts, improving policies and practices, recruitment, hiring, accepting, promoting, and supporting marginalized folks if they can say that folks are ‘self-sabotaging’?

In addition, those in power have often labeled actions by activists seeking liberation from power, dominance, and oppression as ‘sabotage.’ For example, Nelson Mandela was sentenced to life in prison for what was referred to as ‘sabotage’ for countering white supremacy.

Activist and author Arundhati Roy writes, ‘Our strategy should be not only to confront empire but to lay siege on it. To deprive it of oxygen. To shame it. To mock it. With our art, our music, our literature, our stubbornness, our joy, our brilliance, our sheer relentlessness—and our ability to tell our own stories. Stories that are different from the ones we’re being brainwashed to believe.’ What would happen if people rejected the term ‘self-sabotage’ and recognized it as a way that oppression operates that needs to be disrupted?

Just as institutions refer to exploitation as ‘burnout,’ thus shifting the blame from oppressive systems and structures to the individual, I encourage folks to consider how ‘self-sabotage’ is also being used by systems and structures to shift blame to individuals. Instead, how is neoliberalism, capitalism, ableism, white supremacy, and transmisogyny sending people the message that they are sabotaging themselves when it is in fact part of an intentionally toxic culture?”

Melanie’s words are comforting because they reframe my experience as one of learning, rather than one of shame. Prefacing my story as one of self-sabotage implies it was a static experience in which I failed. Recognizing the toxic framework of the word itself opens the experience to the questions: Why did I expect the world from myself? Why did I put that pressure on myself in the first place?

On one hand, I do know better than freezing at the cusp of my dreams. I must trust myself enough to believe in my power and act upon it with confidence. Nevertheless, I must not falsely believe I am a fully formed person that is done with learning. Every experience is an opportunity to do better than the last time, and an opportunity to jump higher, wiser, towards the next time.

I’m learning to learn: do not put off tomorrow what can be done today. Do not give in to paralyzing doubt.

If the version of you from five years ago could see you right now, they’d be proud. You owe it to yourself to be kind. Prepare. Do not self-sabotage. YM

WRITTEN BY SISEL GELMAN

YOU OWE IT TO YOURSELF

BY REBECCA CALVAR

ART

PARTY OR PERFORMANCE?

WRITTEN BY MADDIE BROWNING AND RACHEL TARBY

Remember your first Emerson party? Red solo cups rolling across the sticky floor; music playing from some distant speaker with lyrics you couldn’t discern; people crammed together in a tiny apartment, sweating profusely, and barely talking to each other. You left after an hour feeling let down and wondering if everyone else felt the same way.

The next morning, Instagram posts flooded your feed with people posing at the same party making it seem like they had the night of their lives. Bright lights, smiling faces, and a mirage of a night you thought could have been better spent at home.

During our freshman year of college in 2020, strict COVID regulations made it difficult to be socially distant while still making friends (quite the unfortunate contradiction, right?). Every weekend we would see posts of seemingly incredible parties at the monument in the Commons or at the statue in the Public Garden of huge friend groups with drinks in hand. We would always feel left out and wonder what we were doing wrong, why couldn’t we make friends?

However, when the time came for us to go to the aforementioned monument or statue parties—we were disappointed to say the least. Nobody was dancing, and nobody wanted to dance to the indie music playing—the anthem of sad goth film boys and the exact opposite of hype music. There were conversations about films, books, and who-can-smoke-more-than-who discussions. In the background one could hear “Take our picture! Get it from that angle! Oh my god that looks sick!”

The next morning as we scrolled through our Instagram feeds, all we could see were .5 lens pictures with flash illuminating the subversive party outfits that everyone wore just to stand (and maybe sway, but not dance) in the Gardens.

We can’t lie and say we haven’t also been the girls snapping flash photos in a crowded room. We love a good Instagram photo like the next 20-something girl, but we also value the importance of living in the moment. When we get to a fun party, we want to talk to our friends, meet new people, and most importantly, dance! But

PHOTOGRAPHED BY LUCIA JOHNSON

many times, we’re greeted by glaring phone screens, people valuing their social media persona over making conversation.

Valentina Wheaton ‘24 opted for bars and clubs when she turned 21 instead. She says, “Better music. Better vibes. People are actually dancing instead of standing there.”

Wheaton also noticed that clubs are more diverse with students from different backgrounds and schools. She says she enjoys meeting new people, and connecting with other Latinas since Emerson’s community is limited.

Emerson parties also tend to value exclusivity, desiring the “popular” group. Although this concept seems childish, at a small liberal arts college it is a reality.

Emerson students value aesthetics and individual style, which is not an inherently bad thing. However, students that do not devote their time to make their Instagram feed aesthetically pleasing or do not have a strong personal brand fade into the online background, and in turn, are not wanted at some Emerson parties. Rebecca Sherman ‘24 says, “Emerson parties are kind of quirky. I think because this is such a hyper-liberal arts school. I don’t know why but that does affect the way people sort of value aesthetics and presentation.”

At the arts school equivalent of a frat party, people go to great lengths to make sure they’re seen, checking in with everyone they know to reaffirm their attendance, even posing with and excusing problematic people. Gabriella Perez ‘23 says, “People are willing to party with shitty people just so they can get posted on this person’s Instagram or so they can say that they were there.”

As juniors finally comfortable being ourselves, we’re not afraid to be the only two people dancing in the corner, as long as we’re having fun together. “I think people who are going somewhere to have a good time are going to make it a good time,” says Sherman.

Ultimately, Emerson parties can be a hit or a miss–but mostly a miss. The low number of people, the ironically quiet and slow music, everyone standing around, and the staggered flashes of iPhone cameras all perfectly encapsulate the classic “Emerson party.”

downpour on a rainy day

DIRECTED BY ELIE LARGURA PHOTOGRAPHED BY ELIE LARGURA MODELED BY VRITIKA THADHANI STYLED BY ELIE LARGURA AND VRITIKA THADHANI MAKEUP BY MOLLY HOWARD

AN ARTIST’S DILEMMA

WRITTEN BY ELISE GUZMAN

It started on the last day of fifth grade when one of my teachers squeezed me tight and with tears in her eyes, told me, “Promise me you’ll keep writing.” Then, in middle school, my math teacher ensured she’d get the first copy of my poetry book when it came out. My mama told me how excited she was to be my “momager,” and all my high school creative writing teachers applauded my work that was published in our annual magazine for four years straight. For the majority of my life, writing has been all that I know how to do. When people thought of me, it was always how I wrote beautiful poetry. If you ever needed help on a creative writing assignment, I was your girl. Yet, as COVID came into my life and brought a downfall to many of my plans, writing became my chore instead of my art.

I believed that since poetry was one of the only things that always stayed in my life, that it was a sign I was meant to keep going with it. It started as an outlet for my feelings growing up. In my household, anger or sadness directed at someone else was deemed “attitude” and was shut down immediately—you can imagine what that does to a kid growing up. Every few days, there would be a new poem in this little scrappy notebook I had lying around my house. Come high school, when I had proper therapy, my emotional outlet with poetry turned into my art. I still wrote about my feelings, but I also wrote about dreams, people in my life, and the places I visited. It all started as short, cliché pieces, and I then improved my craft over time with the help of my teachers and doing open mics after school.

Poetry wasn’t something I made every day, but I wrote consistently. I’m pretty sure I have five notebooks worth of poetry from middle and high school in my home in Brooklyn. I saw myself as an artist, whether my art was seen by 10 people or 100, when it was published in a magazine or just written for myself like it had been for years prior.

Visual Media Arts major Brooks Walker ’25, shared his reason for calling himself an artist, “I identify as an artist simply because I create art. I take my experiences, emotions, and environment and try to translate them through what I make. Sometimes what I make isn’t always for other people, which took me a little while to learn. Sometimes something I create is literally the only way that I am able to express and communicate these emotions to myself.”

Calling yourself an artist doesn’t convey some elitist standing—it is just the truth. Anyone can become an artist if they create art, no matter the medium. However, when COVID took over everyone’s lives and all our time was spent indoors, I found myself

ART BY REBECCA CALVAR

slowly losing any interest in writing. I tried doing little writing prompts, writing a sentence a day, even just writing when I felt like it, but nothing worked. I’d write poems by myself every few months, and then that turned into longer periods of time without writing.

Of course, when I had writing assignments, I got them done. But it still wasn’t with the same enthusiasm I once had for my art. I figured that I was just dealing with the pandemic and once things got better, my love for writing would return. I held onto that hope when it was time to apply to colleges, and with every application, I put down “Creative Writing major” or “English major,” handed in a little portfolio, and continued on with my day. However, I didn’t continue to write. When I did have a moment of inspiration, it was just that: a moment. My notes app is full of one-liners and unfinished poems that I never went back to because I didn’t even have the energy to write in my notebook like I used to.

I continued holding onto hope when I got to college. I only had a literature class and my prerequisites, so there was no need to worry about not making art for a while, but once I had my first college poetry class, I found myself struggling. Not in the class itself, but the fact that, once again, I could not write for myself—only if it was a necessity or for a grade did I have the energy to make something. I found myself constantly questioning my capabilities. If I couldn’t make poems or even publish them like I’d see many of my peers do, how would I turn my art into a career? There were many nights I would cry because outside of writing, I didn’t know who I was. That sense of loss is heartbreaking. It got to the point where I almost changed my major to something more practical, like business.

However, I had an interview with my old poetry teacher in high school, Mr. Elliot, who told me the harsh truths of the writing world and how writing isn’t always easy. Not that I didn’t already know that, but hearing it from someone you admire in your field hits harder. At the end of our interview, I asked him if I could see my letter of recommendation from him. He happily said yes and wished me good luck. Once I got to read that document, I remember sobbing for a good ten minutes. He wrote about all of my accomplishments from my freshman year to senior year and went into depth about my poems. It made me think back to all my growth over the years with my art, and while I haven’t produced much in the last two years, how could I equate that with all I’d done prior. I was still an artist. Even being able to write this article and sharing it with anyone reading it is proof of that. YM

MOVIES ARE MY LOVE LANGUAGE

WRITTEN BY CATHERINE KUBICK PHOTOGRAPHED BY EAMON HEWITT

“As you wish.”

One of the most famous and quotable movie lines of all time, from the cinema classic The Princess Bride, holds a particularly special place in my memory. It takes me back to an evening I will forever cherish: The year is 2011, and 10-year-old me is snuggled up with two of my cousins in the quaint living room of my grandparents’ Rhode Island home. Earlier that day, my grandmother rented The Princess Bride DVD from the Providence Public Library, after hearing that neither my cousins nor I had experienced the hilarious and fantastical tale of true love between farm boy Westley and Princess Buttercup.

Though I was initially displeased by the notion of watching an old movie that I had never heard of, I begrudgingly agreed solely because the title had the word “princess” in it. Despite my initial pessimism, my young cousins and I were quickly engrossed in Rob Reiner’s version of the fantasy classic, and we began hounding my grandfather and grandmother with questions about the story:

“Is that man really a giant?” (Of course, referring to Andre the Giant himself)

“Why does that guy have six fingers?”

“What does ‘inconceivable’ mean?”

“How do you even spell ‘Prince Humperdinck’?” (Or “Humperstink” as we affectionately called him)

From that night on…I had both a new favorite film and a new favorite memory.

Movies have always been the way straight to my heart, and though “movie watching” doesn’t exactly fall seamlessly into a category within the five defined “love languages,” it is nonetheless my personal and most beloved method of spending time with those I care about. The Princess Bride is just one of many of my self-proclaimed “comfort movies.” This is a term used to describe films that are typically known to trigger happy and pleasant memories within the viewer. They are unique in their ability to be viewed over and over again when one wishes to be reminded of a happier time or needs a familiar story that is known to bring emotional relief and joy.

Comfort movies, to me, are created from a shared experience. Some of my favorite memories of my family members and loved

ones are created by the stories and adventures we go on together by simply watching a film. When you watch these comfort films again later in life, they can instantly bring you back to the age, mindset, conversations, and the people you were with upon your initial viewing. To many, they serve as time capsules; they are there when you need them and can bring you back to any beloved moment or memory in a snap.

I still vividly remember my young preteen heart leaping for joy as I scrambled to pull on my pajamas the evening my Mom told me I was old enough to watch The Breakfast Club for the very first time, thus spurring a beloved marathon of John Hughes comingof-age classics such as Sixteen Candles and Pretty in Pink. These movies were pivotal to me, as they sparked some important conversations with my mom about growing pains surrounding friendships, school cliques, and first crushes. I learned a lot about both myself and my mother through these films. The exchanges we shared in their stead gave me a lot of insight into her own adolescence, as she provided me with some still dearly cherished life advice.

I treasure this just as I value the laughs I share with my dad as we gleefully developed our favored tradition of watching Wes Anderson’s extended filmography together, or as I cherish the time I spend with my college best friends as we turn back the clock to our adolescence as we bond over our childhood favorite Disney Channel Original Movies. There is nothing parallel to the feeling you get when you bond with someone over a shared love of stories.

Again, although watching films may not be as clear-cut in its meaning as the love languages of gift giving, physical touch, or words of affirmation, I believe there is inherent value in sitting down with someone you love for two hours and just sharing space and time with them—shedding tears, hiding under the covers, sharing laughs, and quoting lines together. There is great beauty in using films as a means to go on different adventures and experience varying levels of the human experience with those you love in real time.

Truthfully, it’s not the movies themselves that should be treasured the most. It’s about the people you share them with, and all the little moments they spark in between. YM

our love/hate relationship with the kardashians

WRITTEN BY RACHEL TARBY

When I was growing up in the early 2000s, my mom was always watching the newest episode of the cable network E!’s hit reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I specifically remember being in awe watching Kim lose her diamond earring for the first time after her ex-husband, Kris Humphries, threw her into the water during the family’s extravagant Bora Bora vacation. The episode aired in 2011, as the Kardashians’ reality show was exceeding new heights. Long before this episode became a widespread meme, ten-year-old me was shocked.

I remember using my grandma’s computer to search “Kim loses her diamond earring” on YouTube. I showed my cousin and said, “Look how rich they are.” Even at that young age, I was amazed by their extreme wealth and also entertained by the ridiculousness of the situations they encountered in their reality show. Alexis King ‘22 states that she has a “love-hate relationship” with the Kardashians, saying, “I don’t love the Kardashians, but I grew up watching them with my mom. We would bond over their dumb decisions, so I think for some people, especially me, it’s a form of nostalgia. I can still keep up with the Kardashians today and watch them like I did when I was little.”

Many people thought that the Kardashians’ fame would not last, and eventually their reality show would fizzle out, making them irrelevant. However, they continue to become increasingly prominent within popular culture. Long-time Kardashian fan Aaliyah Sanders says, “Kim is the Marilyn Monroe of our generation. She profits on the fact of her being sexualized. And she is just as controversial and a pop culture icon, just like Marilyn.”

The Kardashians are very controversial figures, but still seem to be at the focal point of popular culture. The family dominates social media; with Kylie Jenner being the second most followed account on Instagram with 354 million followers, Kim Kardashian being the seventh most followed account on Instagram with 316 million followers, and Khloe Kardashian being the tenth most followed account on Instagram with 279 million followers. Even with a mass amount of haters, the family is still able to set trends with their brands, such as SKIMS–Kim Kardashian’s shapewear and clothing brand.

However, the family is not innocent, as they have done some

PHOTOGRAPHED BY SOFÍA FARRÉS

inexcusable things. The Kardashians have often exploited and profited off of Black women’s aesthetics and have appropriated traditional African American hairstyles. Kim, Khloe, Kendall, and Kylie have all worn traditional African hairstyles such as cornrows and Fulani braids, which originated in Western Africa. Khloe has also been seen wearing Bantu Knots, which originated in Southern Africa, and faced well-deserved backlash after attempting to mimic Diana Ross’s look at the singer’s 75th birthday. Although these are only a few examples, the history of the Kardashian-Jenner women appropriating African culture must be acknowledged. They have and continue to profit off of these styles while Black women in America face discrimination everyday for wearing cultural and protective styles.

The Kardashians have also received backlash for promoting unrealistic and unhealthy beauty standards. The sisters are often accused of having extensive plastic surgery although some still deny that they have had it. Similarly, their brands, such as Kylie Cosmetics and SKIMS, have been subjected to criticism as many people accuse them of profiting off of common insecurities faced by femme-identifying people. However, Khloe’s jean brand Good American markets an extensive size range and inclusivity for all bodies. Despite having the motives of their brands questioned, the sisters have still had the privilege to create successful and wellknown companies.

Before becoming successful business leaders, the Kardashian family changed reality TV for good—and the rules of the reality TV genre. After 20 seasons of Keeping Up With The Kardashians on E!, the classic and groundbreaking reality TV series ended. However, the Kardashians did not disappear from the spotlight. The family now produces their own Hulu show titled The Kardashians which has amassed viewers that both love and hate the family, but are entertained nonetheless.

Why is American popular culture so infatuated with this family? Lauren Germani ‘24 says, “I think it’s because, at the end of the day, they are entertaining, and I feel like they share a lot about their crazy experiences. There are both normal and abnormal things. It’s fun to see the crazy things the rich and famous do, which can be enjoyed by the fans, but nitpicked by the haters.” ym

songs for a cozy night in <3

rises the moon ◆ liana flores worm food ◆ cavetown spring time lover ◆ wished bone pancakes for dinner ◆ lizzy mcalpine astronomy ◆ conan gray sweet creature ◆ harry styles where we are ◆ lumineers like real people do ◆ hozier on & on & on ◆ caamp hemenway ◆ tiny habits new constellations ◆ ryn weaver ‘tis the damn season ◆ taylor swift a sunday kind of love ◆ etta james chicago ◆ sufjan stevens perfect places ◆ lorde amoeba ◆ clairo olivia ◆ the backseat lovers see you soon ◆ beabadobee mystery of love ◆ sufjan stevens smoke signals ◆ phoebe bridgers the story ◆ conan gray beige ◆ yoke lore dreams ◆ fleetwood mac frog ◆ cavetown just the two of us ◆ bill withers and grover washington, jr. the warmth of the sun ◆ the beach boys golden hour ◆ JVKE begin again ◆ taylor swift white flag ◆ clairo punisher ◆ phoebe bridgers just like heaven ◆ the lumineers wasteland, baby! ◆ hozier first time ◆ lucy dacus end of beginning ◆ djo about you ◆ the 1975 after the storm ◆ mumford & sons didn’t cha know ◆ erykah badu sit down beside me ◆ patrick watson

ym advises: How to say goodbye

In my opinion, there is no easy way of saying goodbye. It is a certain moment in life that everyone tries to avoid because it is hard to let go of something or someone that you find comfort and security in. When saying goodbye, it helps to remember to reflect and evaluate, thinking about how letting go and saying goodbye may be beneficial to you in the future and greater things are heading your way. This really helped me especially when moving away from home for the first time and also with relationships and friendships, specifically cutting things off with people I’ve had in my life for years when they never deserved a place in my life at all. Of course there is always gonna be a sense of sorrow and bittersweetness because every emotion and memory, whether good or bad, is attached to that certain place or person and leaving after everything you’ve been through is tough. However, you should always remember that although it may be the end of an era or a chapter in your life, it will feel so good to finally breathe and start fresh on a clean page, with the thought of knowing that there will be more places and people to call home. (Also this song really helps me too if you want to let a good cry out and stay in bed for a bit after: “Scott Street” by Phoebe Bridgers) —Rebecca Calvar, Art Director

I think the worst part about growing up is handling situations in a mature manner; being the mature person sucks. I want to scream and throw a fit and ruin relationships but closure will never come from that. And closure is the most important thing about endings/goodbyes. Endings are bittersweet, best of luck. —Lauren Smith, Living Editor

When I think about saying goodbye I allow myself to sit with all the emotions that come up. Processing change and acknowledging a sense of loss is not easy but once you’ve sat with those feelings it’s a lot easier to let them go after they’ve run their course. Everything happens for a reason even if the reason is not always clear. So when one thing ends I remind myself a new beginning is on the horizon. An opportunity meant for me, a person I was bound to meet and the balance will be restored once again. —Nirvana Ragland, Diversity Chair

I am an impulsive person so I always want to jump from one thing right to the next. But the difficult thing about that is the second I stop to think about what’s happening, it halts me completely. Saying goodbye—whether that be to a location, a person, or even an era of my life—is extremely hard for me. I become overwhelmed with nostalgia and a bittersweet, almost numb feeling from the swirling emotions. The way I get through it is to wallow, and I mean FULLY wallow through my emotions. My favorite way to do this is to listen to music while dissociating in my car parked in my hometown Target parking lot. When I get home, I like to journal. The combination of these two things allows me to fully process what I’m feeling. Although this works for me, it might not for you. My advice is to just find your version of the Target parking lot and go from there. I’d also like to note that I am by no means a master at saying goodbye, but I am on YourMag so somehow that makes me qualified to give advice. :)

— Hailey Kroll, Co-Head Designer

ART BY TÉA PEREZ

*Queue “One Last Time” from the Hamilton soundtrack*

In all seriousness, saying goodbye can be one of the most melancholic and painful experiences. For me, whenever I am mourning having to say goodbye to someone or something, I try to reframe my perspective. It is easy to simply categorize a goodbye as a loss, to feel as if you are losing a part of yourself. I fall into this trap way too often. When this cycle of thinking creeps up on me, I try to remember that being sad about saying goodbye means you have been brought joy from someone or something. Maybe what or who you are saying goodbye to didn’t always make you happy, maybe it did. Whatever the case, I interpret goodbyes as paying homage to the moments of peace and bliss found in whoever or whatever you are departing from. Perhaps this is supremely idealistic, but I find that remembering the good stuff assuages the pain of a goodbye.

Isa Luzarraga, Managing Editor

Saying goodbye is like ripping a bandaid off, especially when you know the person or thing you’re saying goodbye to has left such an impact on you. But in that case, it’s all the more reason to know you’re leaving on a good note. If it’s something or someone you truly care about, and you know you put your heart into that relationship and connection, then you have truly achieved closure. So I guess the upside of saying goodbye is recognizing this closure and holding onto it as long as possible. You never know what lies ahead. You never know what parts of your past you can take with you on your next journey. —Sara Fergang, Assistant Head Proofreader

Endings are so hard and sometimes all you want to do is run away, but it’s important to let yourself feel your feelings. Cry, laugh, remember the good things, write, make art, dance, cling onto your friends and loved ones, but most importantly take care of yourself. Know that you are strong and allow yourself to learn and grow from having to say goodbye, even though it hurts like hell. Know that people believe in you, even if you feel the most alone you’ve ever felt. All my love —Katherine

Asselin, Assistant Head Designer

artist statement: Bella Beard

PHOTOGRAPHED BY BELLA BEARD

Describe your work in one sentence.

I think I’d describe it as: a secret that you stumble upon.

How and when did you get into illustration?

I’ve always doodled my own characters and cartoons, but it wasn’t until I got into digital art that I began to get really into illustration. I first started doing graphic design in a highschool class for fun, but started to take it more seriously after I got an iPad and had access to procreate during my senior year. After that I began to develop my own style and started drawing on a daily basis. I was also consuming a lot of cartoons and anime at the time, so I was kind of always surrounding myself with the stuff.

What inspires you?

I’m heavily inspired by girlhood and small town adolescence in my art. I love exploring first loves, teenage anger, daydreams, and friendship while I’m working. I feel like I just make things based on whatever I’m feeling at the moment or what stories are playing out in my mind, trying my best to manifest what I see in my head into something visual. I also always get inspired by something my twin sister does: every time she dreams, her dream self can fly. Sometimes when I get stuck on what to create, I think of what flying dream-world Alex (my sister) is seeing.

Why art?

I’ve found that art has been the best outlet for me to connect to and express my thoughts and feelings. It’s always been my intuition to turn towards art when big events or emotions come up in my life. I think for me, it’s like the one thing I can use to bring a visual representation to all the crazy stuff that’s always going on in my brain.

Ugh, there are so many! Recently I’ve been very into the artists Aya Takano, Oda Iselin Sønderland, and Yoshitomo Nara. Also, there is an illustrator and puppet maker that I’ve been obsessed with for a while named Sam Hensley who is absolutely brilliant. They make the coolest animatronic puppets that seem like they are from a far distant solar system’s sock drawer. Evelyn Tan is one of the digital artists who I love a lot. She created this mock alien cookbook last year and I kept thinking “damn! I wish I had come up with that!”

What is your favorite illustration you’ve made? What makes it special to you?

I don’t really have a name for it, but I painted a big piece this past summer when I was home in Oregon. It’s a girl sitting in her track uniform (I’ve always thought that maybe she’s hiding from her coach because she doesn’t want to run any more miles) and it’s pretty big. I knew I wanted to bring it with me to school so I had to cut it off the frame and roll it up in my suitcase so it could travel across the country with me. I love it because of how much time it took to make it. I worked on it for a couple months and felt like I really got to spend time with the piece. It’s pinned up on my wall in my apartment now.

Who are some of your favorite creators/artists?

BE YOURSELF! It’s so easy as a beginner artist to get wrapped up in what everyone else is doing and other people’s styles. I think it’s important for people to remember that your art is YOUR art and no one else’s. That’s pretty special.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot. I feel like I’m at an interesting point in life right now where there are a few different avenues I could go down that would lead me to different lives in 10 years. I’m not sure if that makes total sense, but when it comes down to it, I just want to be surrounded by people I love, a space I feel good in, and work that I’m proud of. Living somewhere with more nature is a MUST, however. I miss good trees and flowers and beaches.

Where can readers see more of your work?

I’m in the process of trying to learn how to make my own website, so for now people can just keep up with me on my Instagram, @beard.bella. I always post any updates I have or projects that I’m working on on there.

What advice would you give other/new creators?