THE NAME GAME

What’s in a name?

With Brooklyn Beckham and Nicola Peltz hitting the headlines for both choosing to double-barrel, there’s never been a better time to explore the thought-provoking world of newlywed surnames…

Martin Grant and Laura Morrison, now both Morrison-Grant, were married last August at Crossbasket Castle by George McLean of Fuze Ceremonies

As you soak up all the super-fun elements of wedding prep, make sure to spare a moment for the practicalities too – potential name changes for one! As the tradition of one party simply taking on the surname of the other is disrupted by a variety of creative options, wedding suppliers are increasingly asked for their views on how newlyweds should refer to themselves after they’re married. Boasting both personal and professional experience when it comes to this topic TJ Thomson, a celebrant at Fuze Ceremonies, says, “For so many your name is a huge part of your identity. Some will not be bothered either way and others will have very strong feelings on the subject. It’s important you don’t make assumptions about what your partner will do with their name once you are married. Instead, communication is key. Have a chat about each other’s wishes and expectations.”

TJ ‘went Dutch’ when she tied the knot. In other words, she kept her maiden name for work-related matters – “It’s Frame, so a bit more unique and I’d already established a career using it” – but took on her husband’s name, Thomson, for everything personal, including her duties as a celebrant.

“This is more formally known as ‘going informal’, and there have been benefits and drawbacks,” says TJ. “This year marks a decade as Mrs T but still the only ID with that on it is my passport... And it took me eight years to get round to changing it! I’ve been clocking up the birthdays and with a memory not as good as it once was, I get some strange looks when I’m asked my name and get it wrong!” If you can’t decide which way to go, do what feels right for you, advises TJ. “We live in a fantastic world of choice and ultimately that choice should be yours and yours alone to make.”

“We live in a fantastic world of choice and ultimately that choice should be yours and yours alone to make.”

TJ Thomson Fuze Ceremonies

Rebecca Holmes Photography

Simons Studio

“We try to be equal in everything we do so it made sense to simply put our names together – it shows we’ve each brought something in creating a new family together. When we told people, they were either positive or already aware of the name style becoming more popular. We’ve not had any challenges but have been quite lazy and still haven’t updated our names in a lot of places! Thinking ahead to future generations getting married, though, it might get quite complicated if people are already double-barrelled… What will they do then?!”

Whatever your surname choice, there are a few things worth knowing…

Keeping your own surname?

In the UK, a third of married women in their twenties choose to keep their maiden name and guess what? It’s the easiest option!

To do list: Nothing! You keep your name, your partner keeps theirs and no admin is needed.

Adopting your partner’s name

This remains the most popular choice with women more likely to take the groom’s name (same-sex marriages tend to have a mix of either adopting their new husband or wife’s surname, according to Fuze Ceremonies). But, of course, some wonderfully modern men switch it up and take on their wife’s name.

To do list: Inform all official authorities you’re changing your name with, such as the DVLA, passport office, banks and any important policies you have, (they’ll want to see your marriage certificate to confirm the change). Next, make a list of all the other updates you’ll need to make – everything from your e-mail signature to your Boots Advantage Card!

Double-barrelling

This is great for couples who want or need to compromise – and it’s an option for one or both newlyweds.

To do list: Simply send copies of the marriage certificate to the relevant authorities along with a letter that details the new name – and the order in which you want it.

“We wanted something that joined both of us in a more equal way but doublebarrelling wouldn’t have worked with our maiden names. So, we merged surnames using a website name generator.”

Helen and Andrew Taison

Combining surnames

Looking for a fresh start? ‘Meshing’ (combining the surnames of each partner to form a new, shared name) offers reinvention and a symbolic reflection of your union. If you want to keep a link to your previous surname, consider using it as a middle name.

To do list: A Statutory Declaration will be needed to get all records, including your passports, updated with your chosen name. First port of call here? Your local councillor – they have the power to issue this document at no cost. Also check out the Scottish Government website for guidance.

Finally, a word on honeymoons…

Jetting off soon? If your passport is still in date and you have booked your trip in your original name, there is no need to change anything. But if you want to book tickets in your new name, start the passport renewal process in plenty of time because delays are common! You can apply for a new passport up to three months before you marry. You’ll need the person conducting your ceremony to sign your application – and note that your new passport will be ‘post-dated’ so you can’t use it pre-wedding. Meet Mr and Mrs Taison, formerly Helen Margaret Tanish and Andrew James Dickinson. Another Fuze Ceremonies couple, they said ‘I do’ in Edinburgh in April and created a brand-new surname for themselves

“There were a few reasons behind our decision. Helen always thought it wasn’t fair that it’s assumed that the wife takes the husband’s name. And Andy was married before, so there was already a ‘Mrs Dickinson’. We wanted something that joined both of us in a more equal way but double-barrelling wouldn’t have worked with our maiden names. So, we merged surnames using a website name generator. After a few attempts, we found Taison and it suited us. We also added our maiden names as an extra middle name and a nod to our biological families. We had every reaction going – Helen’s family expected her to do something different while friends liked and understood the idea. Andy’s family were more confused and offended but have eventually come around – maybe because it’s too late now for them to change Andy’s mind!”