FORGET Formalities

Why Eloping May Be The Answer For You

ne of the hardest things about weddings is that they can easily become overwhelming, expensive and less personal. Whether you’re feeling pressure to people please, or the tug to have a destination wedding or you are on a budget – eloping may be the answer for you.

Do It For The Right Reasons

In 2018, my husband and I eloped to a dreamy destination. Having already booked a wedding venue, the guest list completed, and details upon details laid out, we suddenly felt a nudge in our gut saying, “Is this what we really want?” My husband and I sat at our kitchen table and discussed our wedding in detail, when he said to me, “I feel like we’re the type of people who would hop on a plane, take a handful of our loved ones and get married on a cliff overlooking the ocean!”

That was all I needed to hear, and within hours we canceled our pricey wedding plans. For us, this was the option that made us the most excited! Your wedding day should reflect both your and your partner’s vision, and the freedom that comes with eloping or having a smaller wedding is priceless. You can get as creative as you want and customize every detail to feel like a fairytale.

Choose Your Dream Location

Some of the perks of eloping are choosing a unique and unforgettable location. You are not as limited geographically or creatively as with a traditional wedding, and it is fun to flee to your favorite city or grand destination. It is also a great way to save money, get a vacation out of it and worry about a huge party later. Plan as many details as possible before you leave but leave the smaller ones to decide once you arrive. For example, I picked my bouquet once I arrived at our wedding destination – I opted for a faux bouquet to preserve it forever. You can find amazing florists just about anywhere!

We chose to elope in our favorite place in the United States, Laguna Beach, California. Then, I found my dream photographer and videographer on

BY MADISON ROSE LOVELY

Instagram, and both worked within my budget. I called the city of Laguna Beach and purchased a permit to have private access to our cliff lookout. Our wedding view was worth millions, and I only paid three hundred; that’s one of the perks of eloping to a photogenic destination.

Our photos turned out otherworldly and made for an unforgettable memory of dramatic ocean cliffs and crashing waves. After the pictures were done, we met at an incredible restaurant where we had our private table, wedding cake and live band awaiting us.

Destination Details To Plan

• Choose a date Book a location (Research, reserve and purchase permits – with my experience, even outdoor locations have permits)

• Book a photographer/videographer

• Schedule flights/drive time

• Secure hotel accommodations

• Purchase wedding attire

• Invite love ones...or not

• Make reservations for a post-ceremony celebratory meal

Tip: Don’t forget to think of the time of year you want to get married because the climate and weather of that location will be a factor in choosing your date and location!

Remember That Marriage Laws Are Different All Over

This is an important part of planning an elopement that will take some research! The last thing you want to do is travel to the other side of the world without the correct documents. Take note of any local laws that might affect your day as well. For example, if you want to elope on a Sunday in the gorgeous Smoky Mountains of Tennessee, buy the champagne or liquor you desire the day before since all the liquor stores will be closed on Sunday.

Another option is to consider a symbolic ceremony. This means that your ceremony on your elopement day will not be legally binding. Couples who go this route will get married legally where they live, so the paperwork is out of the way, and they do not have to deal with all the logistics. I recommend this route to anyone who is getting married in a country where they do not live and possibly if you are getting married in another state. The process of getting legally married in a different state is, of course, much easier, but there can still be some hurdles to jump, depending on the state. So, do your research to determine the best option for you!

There are countless destination and elopement photographers all around the world that you can connect with via social media. If you are staying in the United States or traveling to another country, elopement photographers often make excellent tour guides. It is an even better investment if you choose to elope in the same place as your honeymoon.

You and your partner should feel like you are honoring each other’s wishes and love languages on your wedding day. For some this may mean choosing to have a more intimate ceremony, then heading to a huge after-party...compromise is key.

My tip for newlyweds is to have the same conversation my husband provoked at the kitchen table, “Are we really doing what feels most exciting and authentic for us?” If the answer is no, then get creative! My wedding was the most luxurious day –better than I could have ever imagined – and it did not break the bank! Most importantly, weddings are about having fun. It is a magical way to start your newlywed bliss, so regardless of what your dream wedding may look like, just remember that when you are intentional with your special day, it is rewarding and fosters a memory that holds zero regrets.

You are engaged! Now, it is time to start the planning and it is never too early to begin. If you have a year before you plan to tie the knot, here is a little guide to help you check things off your list leading up to the big day.

12 Months Out

F Determine your budget.

F Make a guest list.

F Hire a wedding planner.

F Decide formality and overall theme.

F Select the venue; while selecting your venue, throw out that pros and cons list and trust your gut— this decision is about how you feel when you’re there.

F Select the caterer.

11 Months Out

F Choose a color theme and start thinking of overall design.

F Hire vendors who book up quickly, including your photographer, band, DJ and videographer.

10 Months Out

F Start shopping for your wedding dress.

F Book hotel-room blocks for guests.

F Create your wedding website.

F Take engagement photos.

F Start looking at invitations.

9 Months Out

F Buy your wedding dress.

F Send save the dates.

8 Months Out

F Register for gifts.

F Select the bridesmaids’ dresses and schedule fittings within the month.

F Meet with potential florists.

7 Months Out

F Book the rehearsal dinner venue.

F Hire the ceremony musicians.

F Order rental items, such as specialty chairs, linens, draping, lounge furniture, white dance floor, etc.

F Hire an officiant.

6 Months Out

F Hire a lighting technician.

5 Months Out

F Book transportation for guests, if needed.

F Book the newlyweds’ transportation (limo, specialty car, etc.).

F Book the honeymoon.

F Buy or rent the groom’s tuxedo.

F Begin premarital counseling.

4 Months Out

F Have your final tasting with the caterer.

F Choose your cake.

F Buy wedding bands.

F Select the groomsmen’s attire and schedule fittings within the month.

F Do a hair and makeup trial.

3 Months Out

F Order the invitations and hire a calligrapher.

F Create or plan your menu.

F Brainstorm guest favors and gift bags.

F Write your vows.

F Select readings with the officiant.

F Start crafting any DIY items if you haven’t already.

2 Months Out

F Send the wedding invitations (with RSVPs due one month before the wedding).

F Send out rehearsal dinner invitations.

F Have your first dress fitting.

F Get your marriage license.

F Buy wedding-party gifts.

F Do a floral mock-up with your florist.

F Give the song selections to your band or DJ.

F Give the song selections to your ceremony musicians.

1 Month Out

F Assemble gift bags.

F Pay your vendors in full.

F Create a seating chart.

F Order or make your escort cards and place cards.

F Have a final venue walk-through.

F Put cash in tip envelopes for your planner/delegate to distribute.

F Break-in your wedding shoes.

YAY! Final Week!

F You made it! Make sure you’re breathing and power through.

F Practice your vows out loud.

F Chase any RSVP stragglers and deliver the final headcount.

F Get your eyebrows done.

F Have a manicure/pedicure.

F Pack your bags for the honeymoon; don’t forget your passport if you’re leaving the country and confirm all travel arrangements.

Night Before

F Can you believe it’s here?! It’s going to be a perfect and great day!

F Eat a healthy meal.

F Pack a clutch or small bag of personal items.

F Drink plenty of water!

F Get a good night’s sleep.

F Put any boxes, suitcases, bags and survival kits to bring to the ceremony or reception in the car! Prep for next day madness!

YOUR BIG DAY IS HERE!

F Eat breakfast

F Drink even more water.

F Take your dress and veil out of the bag early on and have someone steam them if needed.

F Lay out all the items that you want your photographer to capture.

F Exchange notes with your partner.

F Say thank you to everyone around you.