A Southern Gentleman Is

An Example For Others!

BY TIM KEARNS

Merry Christmas one and all and wishes for a Happy (and hopefully better) 2021! I’m sure you’re all with me in the fact that 2020 is going down in the history books as a weird year!

These past ten months have brought a myriad of change from beginning to end. Nothing was ordinary, simple or consistent with anything that happened in previous years. Early on, fear gripped everyone, then cabin fever, then hope, then change, then fear of repeat again. We tried to wrap our heads around the situation; hoarding toilet paper and cleaning supplies, working at home, wearing masks 24/7, not being able to see friends or family, not going to eat or going to a movie, nothing was the same. Now it is obvious that we’re not in the Twilight Zone; this is now known as “the new normal!” Christmas parties and New Year’s celebrations may still be in play, as long as it is with ten or less people, or outside! However, there is one thing that doesn’t change throughout all of this; being a true Southern Gentleman! While the world around us is chaotic, we still live by the codes which identify us.

A GENTLEMAN IS IMPERFECT. This may be the most important characteristic on the list. The term “gentleman” isn’t meant to be an unattainable ideal; it takes into account basic human nature, in which we all make mistakes, choices, and judgments every day. The difference is that a gentleman does not believe himself to be perfect, but instead takes ownership and responsibility for 38 HOLIDAY 2020 the things he can control: His actions, knowledge, and approach to the world.

A GENTLEMAN HAS HIGH STANDARDS. High standards push people to do the best they can, and gentlemen must set them for themselves. He expects a high standard of quality, value, and functionality from the things he buys to the things he does. He expects as much of himself as he does of other people.

A GENTLEMAN IS WELL DRESSED. This one shouldn’t be a surprise. A well-dressed man is appropriately attired based on the season, the occasion, and his own style. Dressing well isn’t a matter of money, but rather of careful curation of clothing and accessories based on his means, the occasion, and his tastes. His dress demonstrates that he recognizes the power, the impression it makes, and the role it plays in society. Dressing well is a point of pride because it demonstrates his personality and taste.

A GENTLEMAN IS WELL MANNERED. A gentleman is courteous, polite, and respectful. He says please and thank you, waits his turn in line, and treats others as they wish to be treated. He is an equitable conversation partner, displays good table manners and dining etiquette.

A GENTLEMAN IS OPEN MINDED. A gentleman does not believe that his opinions and knowledge are absolute or unquestionable. He strives to learn, is open to new ideas, accepts constructive criticism, and welcomes failure as a path to growth and self-awareness. A gentleman does not argue purely for the pleasure of being right but focuses on putting himself in other people’s shoes for the purposes of understanding an alternate perspective from his own.

A GENTLEMAN IS INTERESTING AND INFORMED. These days it is easy to get lost in the cycle of sleep-work-Netflixrepeat, that deprives people of anything interesting to say. An interesting man can carry a conversation about a number of subjects, is interested in the world and how it works, and actively seeks to grow his knowledge for his own character building. Hobbies and personal interests reveal his passions for activities that are meaningful to him.

A GENTLEMAN’S ACTIONS MATCH HIS WORDS. Quite simply, a gentleman makes promises that he intends to keep.

A GENTLEMAN TREATS PEOPLE WITH RESPECT. When we say people, we mean everyone – women, colleagues, superiors, waitstaff and customer service people. This reflects a gentleman’s belief that all people are created equal. He does not claim to have more or fewer rights than those around him. He is compassionate with those less fortunate than himself. He doesn’t believe that the world is a zero-sum game, nor does he believe that putting someone else down will lift him up.

A GENTLEMAN RECOGNIZES THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ARROGANCE AND CONFIDENCE. An arrogant man believes himself to be of superior importance and relies on his opinion of himself relative to others. A gentleman believes in himself and his abilities independently of other people. An arrogant man must always win to feel validated while a gentleman self-validates from within.

A GENTLEMAN WIELDS POWER PURPOSEFULLY. Though there are many potential sources for the statement “with great power comes great responsibility,” there is an inherent truth in it for a gentleman. If he is in a position of power, he combines all the above traits to utilize that power purposefully and not selfishly. Not for revenge, not for his own personal gain, and not in a way that tramples the rights of others.

A GENTLEMAN GIVES PEOPLE THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT. Even though it can be a challenge to avoid cynicism in a tough world, a gentleman chooses to not assume malice. The person who cut you off on the highway may have received bad news; a friend may not respond to your call because they are behind at work. A gentleman tries not to jump to negative conclusions about other people.

COVID-19, sequestered world or not, these attributes are still a way of life for Southern Gentlemen. Regardless of what life throws at you every day, find a way to deal with life’s hurdles and keep your integrity. Times are challenging but we can rise above it, set the bar high and be the example for others. With this article, I am officially signing off as the author of the “A Southern Gentleman Is…” column. I fully believe in term limits to promote new perspectives and fresh ideas. After three enjoyable years it is my turn to open the door for a new Southern Gentleman to share his thoughts with the Your Williamson readers. I want to thank Shelly Robertson Birdsong for considering me to begin with. It has been my pleasure to put my thoughts to paper each month. It is my deepest hope that you enjoy the holidays, say a prayer for good health and good fortune in 2021! Merry Christmas and Happy New Year from my family to yours!

TIM KEARNS A Southern Gentleman Is...

Tim is a Williamson County business owner who lives, works and plays all within the county limits. He has been a triathlete for thirtythree years and married to Bess Kearns for thirty-two years. All of his commitments are for the long haul!

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